DingleberryMoose: Also, thanks for bearscatsign.jpg. Always worth the seconds it takes to read it.

Somehow I managed to miss that one. Been a long time since I LOLed at an image "meme." (I don't really know if it is one but fark it, close enough.)

trerro: FTFA: "We're fairly convinced it was obviously an accident," Bowe said. "But the county attorney will review the final report once we're done."

If you're "fairly" convinced, then it may have been "likely" an accident or "probably" an accident, but it definitely wasn't "obviously" one.

Came here to post this. My brain broke while I was trying to calculate the likelihood of it being an accident based on that statement.

Bears gone wild.

Man I love hiking in New Zealand, only thing we have to worry about is damn sandflies making you a wee bit itchy.

Bears, snakes, lions, crocodiles/alligators, spiders ... fark that.

If it makes you feel any better, we didn't have seconds.

/obscure?

Kanemano: Are we so sure this was all not an elaborate murder plot?



Would solve it, but he's not alive, or real.

courtesy of
http://bear.org/website/bear-pages/black-bear/basic-bear-facts/16-blac k-bear-color-phases.html

"Black bears come in more colors than any other North American mammal. They can be black, brown, cinnamon, blond, blue-gray, or white."

"In western states that have mountain meadows and open park-like forests, over half the black bears (Ursus americanus cinnamomum) are brown, cinnamon, or blond"

also 400 lbs is small for a brown bear. we have 350-400 lb black bears in ga
just saying as an informed hunter i'm not sure i could distinguish between a 350 ln brown color phase black bear and a 400 lb brown bear. thats what guides do. no worries here for there are no brown bears and our black bears are actually black. i can however distinguish easily between people and bears. would i try to shoot a bear that was mangling my friend,,,probably.
still sounds like some dumbasses

shooting the wrong species, irresponsible
shooting your hunting buddy, priceless

Most incompetent hunter on earth illegally shoots grizzly bear he thought was a black bear, tracks it into heavy brush with his hunting partner where bear turns on them, then fatally shoots partner while trying to save him from to distract bear.

Yesireeee buddy... we have lots of JimboBillieClydeScooterCletusJimmyEarlRay (yes around here thats a first name) who feel it's very important to rid the forest of any wildlife by using weapons that could shoot down the International Space Station.

/ wishes bear had lived and allowed its cub to enjoy the stringy carcass of dumbass boy

The Aristocrats!

/amidoinitrite?

Who the hell was doing the hunting?

This guy?

STOOPID SPRAYER!

Idiot. You're not supposed to fatally shoot your hunting partner. If chased by a bear, shoot the partner in the leg. You dont have to outrun a bear if you can outrun the slowest member of your group.

'Cause we're, goin' huntin',
We're gonna kill somethin'
I don't care what it is,
Maybe a dog, maybe a gopher,
Maybe the neighbor's kids!

/Obscure?

Ronin_S: 'Cause we're, goin' huntin',
We're gonna kill somethin'
I don't care what it is,
Maybe a dog, maybe a gopher,
Maybe the neighbor's kids!

/Obscure?

Arrogant worms, of course. But the relevant verses are:

Well off we go, our guns are loaded
And so's are we
We weaves through the bushes and falls on our faces
And piss on the nice trees
And then we spot something moving an' a rustle
We pump it full of lead
And smile real wide as we hear it scream
And thud as it falls down dead


Well off we go to see what we killed
And watch the damn thing bleed
The first thing we see is a bright orange cap
And we shot down Ol' Charlie
But he don't to mind, he smiled all the time
He died real happy
But next time he should tell us
When he's goin' off to take a pee

Do you eat black bears, or were they just out to shoot them for shiat and giggles?

The man WAS successful in protecting his friend from the bear but I do question his methods in doing so.

spawn73: Do you eat black bears, or were they just out to shoot them for shiat and giggles?

I've heard people extol the wonders of "bear sausage," but for myself I don't care to eat the meat of carnivores. I don't think all the bear hunters use the meat, but a few do. Bears are mostly trophy-hunted, as far as I know.

/Deer hunter

"Anytime you follow a wounded animal, but particularly a predator like a bear, you have to be very careful..."

Bears repeating.

Fuggin Bizzy: spawn73: Do you eat black bears, or were they just out to shoot them for shiat and giggles?

I've heard people extol the wonders of "bear sausage," but for myself I don't care to eat the meat of carnivores. I don't think all the bear hunters use the meat, but a few do. Bears are mostly trophy-hunted, as far as I know.

/Deer hunter

Actually, no. They released the statistics from the New Jersey bear hunt and I think (but don't remember exactly) it was something like 95 percent of bear hunters used the hunt for food.

D3_WR: book em, lou

One count of being a bear, and one count of being an accessory to being a bear?

jtown: For some reason, this reminds me of a sign I saw when I was riding into Yellowstone one time. It was a big sign with slots to hold plaques with the various hazards one could expect to see on the road that day. (Like the Colbert ThreatDown) That particular day, it said,

CAUTION

WILDLIFE
PLOWING

I was never sure whether the wildlife was doing the plowing or being plowed but either way would be disturbing.

You gonna get plowed.

By a bear.

It was Dick Fudd:



Dick Fudd sounds like a condition a urologist might diagnose.

BigBurrito: Yaxe: Two key differences:

The First:
Grizzlies no longer live in the continental United States[excepting Alaska](there are 3 or 4 confirmed Grizzlies in North Cascades National Park from what I hear).

The Second:
Brown/Black bears are timid and will avoid you.The only time a black bear will ever charge you is if you pin in it a corner or literally pick up its cub with your hands. Even bears tears through somebodies car will run away if a human comes on the scene jogging toward them.

Grizzlies on the other hand, don't give a shiat. They are kind of timid in nature, but if they've seen humans before they do not give a fark about what you think. If a grizzly is tearing apart your car looking for perfume(and you'll know, Grizzlies are some big animals), stay the fark away. Not only can he run faster than you, but a single swing of his paw can decapitate you. Not to mention, they are very aggresive: should you find cubs dicking around on a trail in your remote part of British Columbia or Alaska, it would be a very good idea to relocate several hundreds yards back up the trail until the cubs have moved themselves. You don't want to find out what happens when you get between a 1500 pound hormone-city female and her cubs.


Yellowstone is calling a lot and feels left out.

Poor Yellowstone.

/Don't Alaskans call grizzlies "Brown Bears"?

Poor Yellowstone AND Montana.

Mr. Breeze: BigBurrito: Yaxe: Two key differences:

The First:
Grizzlies no longer live in the continental United States[excepting Alaska](there are 3 or 4 confirmed Grizzlies in North Cascades National Park from what I hear).

The Second:
Brown/Black bears are timid and will avoid you.The only time a black bear will ever charge you is if you pin in it a corner or literally pick up its cub with your hands. Even bears tears through somebodies car will run away if a human comes on the scene jogging toward them.

Grizzlies on the other hand, don't give a shiat. They are kind of timid in nature, but if they've seen humans before they do not give a fark about what you think. If a grizzly is tearing apart your car looking for perfume(and you'll know, Grizzlies are some big animals), stay the fark away. Not only can he run faster than you, but a single swing of his paw can decapitate you. Not to mention, they are very aggresive: should you find cubs dicking around on a trail in your remote part of British Columbia or Alaska, it would be a very good idea to relocate several hundreds yards back up the trail until the cubs have moved themselves. You don't want to find out what happens when you get between a 1500 pound hormone-city female and her cubs.


Yellowstone is calling a lot and feels left out.

Poor Yellowstone.

/Don't Alaskans call grizzlies "Brown Bears"?

Poor Yellowstone AND Montana.

Saw two grizzlies and a black bear the last time I was camping in Yellowstone, wondered if they'd suddenly disappeared.

400lbs is small for a grizzly, so yeah in the heat of the moment it might be hard to tell the difference between a brown and a black bear. I think if you got a good look at a grizzly you would be able to tell the difference. Black bears come in a wide variety of colors, brown, blond, cinnamon, black....

The bear was 1 of only 45 in that region? I feel bad for the bear, not so much for the hunters.

My dad used to work as a ranger at Glacier National Park. On one occasion, a hunter shot a grizzly bear through the heart, and the bear still managed to run at top speed for 20 minutes before it died.

hicksfa2: Who the hell was doing the hunting?

This guy?

[allcartoonpictures.com image 500x375]

Yaxe: The Second:
Brown/Black bears are timid and will avoid you.The only time a black bear will ever charge you is if you pin in it a corner or literally pick up its cub with your hands.

Or if it has a toothache... or if it's used to eating out of garbage cans in populated areas... or if it didn't read the same nature book that you did. I'd recommend keeping your distance from any type of bear.

Also, for what it's worth, with bears a charge doesn't necessarily mean an attack. Bears will sometimes "bluff charge" as a way of saying 'get the fark off my lawn'.

Gosling: That would be the dumbest murder plot ever.

"Dumbest"? It's BRILLIANT! Do you realize the planning that went into this?

basilbrush: Man I love hiking in New Zealand, only thing we have to worry about is damn sandflies making you a wee bit itchy.

Bears, snakes, lions, crocodiles/alligators, spiders ... fark that.

What about Sumatran Rat Monkeys?

Gosling: That would be the dumbest murder plot ever.

"Dumbest"? It's BRILLIANT! Do you realize the planning that went into this?

It will all come to light when they find the hunter's check in the bear's den.

2 hunters are walking in the woods when one of them collapses. He is not breathing and his eyes are glazed over. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. "Help my friend is dead and I don't know what to do!" he screams. The 911 operator says, "Calm down sir, I can help you. First, let's make sure your friend is dead." There is a silence followed by the sound of a loud gunshot. The man comes back on the phone and says, "Okay, now what?"

Two blondes are hiking in the woods when they find some tracks. The first blonde says "Oh man, grizzly bear tracks! We'd better get out of here!" Second blonde laughs and says "You idiot, these are black bear tracks. We're perfectly safe." While they're arguing, the train hits them.

I shall avenge thee!

""two game wardens, seven hunters, & a pure-bred Guernsey cow""

When you climb a tree to escape a bear chasing you in the woods, how can you tell if it's a black or grizzly?
If it climbs up after you, it's a black bear. If it knocks the tree down, it's a grizzly.

/Oh, the classics.
//surprised no one else covered that...
///bear season... rabbit season...

Take a handicapped person camping or hunting with you. That way, if the bear begins to charge you, you will have a better than average shot of getting away from the bear.

/begin to make arrangements for your camping/hunting partner's funeral.

He obFuggin Bizzy: I've heard people extol the wonders of "bear sausage,"

Snicker snicker.