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(StrangeBeaver)   As if working at Wal-Mart wasn't soul crushing enough, imagine having to sing the Wal-Mart theme song led by this Freddie Mercury wannabe   (strangebeaver.com) divider line 40
    More: Fail, theme song  
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5478 clicks; posted to Video » on 22 Sep 2011 at 1:52 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-09-22 12:49:38 AM
It's a good thing Freddie was cremated, or this $#!+ would have him spinning in his casket so fast he'd wind up ashes anyway.
 
2011-09-22 01:49:14 AM
I had a summer job once in construction, and worked on a new WM. As the store was nearing completion, the Arkansas mafia started showing up, including one guy who thought he was going to get 200 hung-over, ticked off at the world construction workers singing a "Get Happy" song and doing morning stretches and calisthenics.

During lunch a couple of very large plumbers pulled him aside and gave him some new thoughts on motivating employees. No sign of him after that.
 
2011-09-22 02:05:09 AM
 
2011-09-22 02:12:25 AM
i81.photobucket.com

Approves.
 
2011-09-22 02:26:54 AM

anfrind: [i81.photobucket.com image 461x357]

Approves.


I was thinking more along the lines of

i56.tinypic.com

Yours works too, though
 
2011-09-22 02:43:37 AM

PacManDreaming: I always figured that if Wal-Mart had a theme song, it'd be this. (^)


Well then they should hire this thread's subject to replace this asshat. (pops)
 
2011-09-22 02:44:16 AM

FishyFred: PacManDreaming: I always figured that if Wal-Mart had a theme song, it'd be this. (^)

Well then they should hire this thread's subject to replace this asshat. (pops)


Whoops, thought I was in a different thread.
 
2011-09-22 02:56:13 AM

FishyFred: Whoops, thought I was in a different thread.


Hittin' the sauce tonight, are ya?
 
2011-09-22 03:48:17 AM
Don't be a biatch, subby. There are people who honestly enjoy having this sort of thing to liven up their dreary work-a-day lives. They are rightly despised by all sentient creatures, and deserve no sympathy whatsoever, even in a headline.
 
2011-09-22 05:15:40 AM
Back in what seems like a couple of lifetimes ago I worked at an Autozone just after exiting the military - they used to do similar shiat at the end of closing shift once a week. We'd have to stand in a cicle and in cheerleader fashion each take a turn mimeing "Gimme an 'A'" .... Gimme a 'U'", etc. After the second 'team building' session where I said 'pass', the manager had a talk with me about my lack of dedication (despite the fact that I was one of his most reliable workers). I told him in great detail about his lack of dignity and my lack of concern for his opinion.

I didn't need a minimum wage job that badly. I moved on and now make more in a few months than the manager does in a year.

/csb
 
2011-09-22 05:36:52 AM
Fat Bottom Girl?

/DNRTFA
 
2011-09-22 08:37:48 AM
They tried to make us do some different Wal-Mart song when I worked there. No one would do it. Even when they threatened "real disciplinary action" to "anyone who didn't join in this time" everyone was still silent.

Eventually they gave up and let us go back to hating the world. They never tried it again, while I worked there.
 
2011-09-22 08:48:51 AM

BioStormX: They tried to make us do some different Wal-Mart song when I worked there. No one would do it. Even when they threatened "real disciplinary action" to "anyone who didn't join in this time" everyone was still silent.

Eventually they gave up and let us go back to hating the world. They never tried it again, while I worked there.


"If you don't participate in songtime, I'll tell. Then you'll be in REAL trouble."
 
2011-09-22 08:51:07 AM
When I worked retail, they would make us do cheers and other such things like this, and I always felt it was so unprofessional that it was actually degrading.
 
2011-09-22 09:37:44 AM
I would dive from the crowd onto this a$$hole's head and stab him repeatedly.

Probably not, I'd just quit but in my mind he would have a really nasty stabby face
 
2011-09-22 09:48:05 AM
Did he really say "Gonna be a cashier someday"? Ah, the American dream. Thank you, Wal-Mart.
 
2011-09-22 10:06:21 AM
oh hell no.
 
2011-09-22 10:25:13 AM

Zap_Rowsdower: Did he really say "Gonna be a cashier someday"? Ah, the American dream. Thank you, Wal-Mart.


Someone's got to do it.
 
2011-09-22 10:27:26 AM

Alfunk: oh hell no.


Exactly... just have to tell them, "If THIS is required, I guess I'll pick my check up on Friday.."

/because SOMEONE is going to record you doing it... case in point ^^^^
//not that I'd do it anyhow
///unless it was for a couple dollar raise and free TV... maybe some Doritos, too
////still can't record me
 
2011-09-22 10:27:26 AM
Someones

/ibt grammar nazis
 
2011-09-22 11:03:41 AM
It's almost as if Fark exists in some kind of 2-3 day delay behind Reddit.
 
2011-09-22 11:36:44 AM
Watching that video physically hurt me.

/ow.
 
2011-09-22 01:35:44 PM

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: It's almost as if Fark exists in some kind of 2-3 day delay behind Reddit.


We put everything from Reddit into quarantine for a few days to make sure it isn't catching.
 
2011-09-22 02:13:52 PM
I couldn't watch the whole thing; it was too embarrassing. I would have walked out the door without saying a word and never gone back if they tried to make me do that.
 
2011-09-22 02:16:15 PM

MaxxLarge: It's a good thing Freddie was cremated, or this $#!+ would have him spinning in his casket so fast he'd wind up ashes anyway.


Sweet jizz-guzzling Mary, what's with the hard-on you have for this guy!? Way to farking contribute to atmospheric pollution by burning your remains, asshole! And who're you to say what a dead man would've thought of this poor rendition? Maybe he has admiration for those who try to excel, rather than obsess over collections of memorabilia like you, jackass.

/thanks for the steaming turd in my Fruity Pebbles
 
2011-09-22 03:46:32 PM
Most Wal-Marts have a standardized cheer that they do during morning "Communication Meetings," which also has a store specific part, and includes stretching to reduce the chances of injuries. It's supposed to help build team spirit. Yes it's demoralizing if you look at it that way, but if you look at it as friends or "Family" doing something goofy together it can actually build up your morale, even if it is a "walk away and biatch about the stupid cheer", it builds companionship amongst employees.

I've never really understood the hate for Wal-Mart employees or the employer as a whole, but maybe it's just my circumstances that give me a different perspective.

/Wal-Mart Associate
 
2011-09-22 05:07:57 PM

Loomy: /thanks for the steaming turd in my Fruity Pebbles


And I'M the one who supposedly has alts? At least this one can mostly punctuate properly.

Seriously. Get a hobby. And I mean a hobby OTHER than harassing me.
 
2011-09-22 05:19:40 PM

phant0m51: Most Wal-Marts have a standardized cheer that they do during morning "Communication Meetings," which also has a store specific part, and includes stretching to reduce the chances of injuries. It's supposed to help build team spirit. Yes it's demoralizing if you look at it that way, but if you look at it as friends or "Family" doing something goofy together it can actually build up your morale, even if it is a "walk away and biatch about the stupid cheer", it builds companionship amongst employees.

I've never really understood the hate for Wal-Mart employees or the employer as a whole, but maybe it's just my circumstances that give me a different perspective.

/Wal-Mart Associate


Long ago, I worked at Wal-Mart, and remember the 'team meeting' often ending the evening with the Wal-Mart cheer, *just* as the last bus of the night pulled away (they kept us late to do cleaning because we were kept far too short-staffed to get anything done before store closing). I frequently begged the managers in vain to leave the meeting early so I could catch my bus. Far too many nights most of my puny pay for my 4 hour evening shift was wasted on taxi fare. So my circumstances give me a a very farking different perspective on the Wal-mart cheer than yours.
/Give me a W!
/Give me an A!
/Give me a L!
/Give me a squiggle!
/Give me a M!
/Give me an A!
/Give me a R!
/Give me a T!
/ What does that spell? HELL
 
2011-09-22 05:26:34 PM
Nah, I was just lurking in the other thread, and thought I'd try to liven up this one, since Maddie got so out of hand in the other one. I'm quite surprised it didn't spill over into this one, honestly. My slash-line was intended to reveal that I was privy to what had gone on. I didn't want it to come off as an alt (from 2006?!).

I need to keep an eye out for the next time you two are together in a (non-Queen) thread, just to see if it holds true to your description of the harassment. I just couldn't resist posting in this one, considering.

Also, as a fan of limericks, I love your work. Keep it up!
 
2011-09-22 05:39:42 PM
I'd prefer Morbo leading us in a chant of "I WILL DESTROY YOU! DESTROY YOU!"
 
2011-09-22 07:33:48 PM
This type of thing is going to die a quick, painful death as soon as all the lames that grew up sucking on megacorporate cock die off.
 
2011-09-22 08:22:46 PM

Cletus from Canuckistan: Long ago, I worked at Wal-Mart, and remember the 'team meeting' often ending the evening with the Wal-Mart cheer, *just* as the last bus of the night pulled away (they kept us late to do cleaning because we were kept far too short-staffed to get anything done before store closing). I frequently begged the managers in vain to leave the meeting early so I could catch my bus. Far too many nights most of my puny pay for my 4 hour evening shift was wasted on taxi fare. So my circumstances give me a a very farking different perspective on the Wal-mart cheer than yours.
/Give me a W!
/Give me an A!
/Give me a L!
/Give me a squiggle!
/Give me a M!
/Give me an A!
/Give me a R!
/Give me a T!
/ What does that spell? HELL


I treat my associates fairly and I would never make any of them miss a bus for any reason unless I was going to take care of their transportation so they wouldn't have undue monies out of pocket. It's unfortunate that you had (a) dick boss('s) that ruined the image of the company for you.
 
2011-09-22 08:38:58 PM

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: It's almost as if Fark exists in some kind of 2-3 day delay behind Reddit.


Having wondered this same thing, I've concluded that most Farkers are actually Redditors, and it comes down to the submission model:

On Reddit, everything is "greenlit", and the community gets to separate the wheat from the chaff. That which is worthy, rises; that which is crap, falls (or at least doesn't rise). The result is that the popular submissions at Reddit have been vetted by community consensus.

On Fark, only a tiny percentage of subs are even looked at, a tinier percentage greenlit, and vetting comes from an even tinier percentage of Farkers. Not even its paying community has a say in the process. The result is whatever mood the Modmins are in and/or whatever they think will yield the most clicks/trolling gets greenlit.

In this context, its no wonder that Reddit is the genesis of most Fark greens.
 
2011-09-22 10:11:12 PM
It still beats waking up at 4:30 am to go watch motivational puppets and bad actors on a big LCD screen at Best Buy's store meetings.

Good gosh, how I hated those meetings. In truth, they're the reason I quit. The job itself was decent, and the discount was awesome as hell, but those early morning bullshiat meetings that insulted both my intelligence and my circadian rhythms? F♥ck that noise. You want me to be a good employee that give 110% and pays attention to add-on sales and the customers? LET ME GET MY F♥CKING SLEEP, ASSHOLES.

And no, donuts do not make up for it. Not even close. It would have to be a donut that tastes like the best p♥ssy in North America to be even halfway close to making up for me working until midnight and then waking up at 4:30 am and driving across town for your ridiculous pep rallies.

Oh, and Best Buy? No matter how much you try, you can't rename Black Friday to "Green Friday". It won't stick. Stop trying to make "fetch" happen.
 
Bf+
2011-09-23 09:21:55 AM
[excruciating video]

phant0m51: It's supposed to help build team spirit. Yes it's demoralizing


ZeroCorpse: I hated those meetings. In truth, they're the reason I quit.


After watching the video, I'm almost tempted to get a job at Walmart, just so I could witness one of these, declare aloud "fark this shiat-- I quit".
/almost
 
2011-09-23 01:17:14 PM
This video crushes my soul into a fine paste and slathers it on a saltine cracker of sadness.
 
2011-09-23 05:07:20 PM

ZeroCorpse: ...It would have to be a donut that tastes like the best p♥ssy in North America...


Now THAT would be an awesome donut.
 
2011-09-23 06:44:15 PM
Wow, didn't this crap die out in the 80s?
 
2011-09-24 12:05:16 AM

ZeroCorpse: It still beats waking up at 4:30 am to go watch motivational puppets and bad actors on a big LCD screen at Best Buy's store meetings.

Good gosh, how I hated those meetings. In truth, they're the reason I quit. The job itself was decent, and the discount was awesome as hell, but those early morning bullshiat meetings that insulted both my intelligence and my circadian rhythms? F♥ck that noise. You want me to be a good employee that give 110% and pays attention to add-on sales and the customers? LET ME GET MY F♥CKING SLEEP, ASSHOLES.

And no, donuts do not make up for it. Not even close. It would have to be a donut that tastes like the best p♥ssy in North America to be even halfway close to making up for me working until midnight and then waking up at 4:30 am and driving across town for your ridiculous pep rallies.

Oh, and Best Buy? No matter how much you try, you can't rename Black Friday to "Green Friday". It won't stick. Stop trying to make "fetch" happen.



I almost quit Blockbuster for the same reason.

Bi-monthly meetings where the same tired bullshiat was said every time but they managed to spread it out for an hour. After a couple months I just stopped showing up for the damned things and no one ever said anything.
 
2011-09-24 05:40:34 AM
This type of exercise, like tentacle porn, is something that only works in Japan.
 
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