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(Chicago Sun-Times)   How to properly sexually harass someone if you are a politician. "He turned around and grabbed a breast, passed some gas, got out of the car. And I just sat in there, this is it. I'm done"   (suntimes.com) divider line 132
    More: Stupid, Cicero, FBI, self-incrimination, rights against self-incrimination, Fifth Amendment, Sharon Starzyk  
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22012 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2011 at 2:18 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-09-14 10:48:47 AM  
I can't find his party affiliation anywhere. Since a woman was involved, I assume he is a Democrat...
 
2011-09-14 10:54:25 AM  
The breast-grabbing, she was OK with, but the crop-dusting? That's what crossed the line.
 
2011-09-14 11:53:30 AM  
"I bit her on the neck, she farted, and then jumped out the window!"
 
2011-09-14 12:10:06 PM  
The Aristocrats!
 
2011-09-14 12:20:30 PM  
Dominick countered that the only sex acts he had with Starzyk were consensual

ORLY?
i105.photobucket.com

One look at this guy and I doubt it's consensual when he faps.
 
2011-09-14 01:42:34 PM  

mediablitz: I can't find his party affiliation anywhere. Since a woman was involved, I assume he is a Democrat...


Republican
 
2011-09-14 02:01:34 PM  
After seeing his picture, he probably just thought she had donuts in her shirt.
 
2011-09-14 02:23:47 PM  
""He...passed some gas, got out of the car. And I just sat in there"

i105.photobucket.com

Why would you want to be hotboxed with this guy's shiat smell? I'm sure it was beyond overpowering - she's lucky she lived to tell about it.
 
2011-09-14 02:25:14 PM  
*honk*

*fart*

BYE!
 
2011-09-14 02:25:50 PM  
Why would you sit in a car contemplating having your boobie grabbed if someone farted? O_o
 
2011-09-14 02:25:54 PM  
Step 1 -- Be attractive
Step 2 -- Don't be unattractive

Let's see how he did:

i105.photobucket.com

Ooh... better luck next time.
 
2011-09-14 02:29:10 PM  
"play with her dog and eat there and once in a while whatever came up sexually."

sounds kinky.
 
2011-09-14 02:32:34 PM  

mediablitz: I can't find his party affiliation anywhere. Since a woman was involved, I assume he is a Democrat...


Yeah, but he wanted her to screw men while he watched. That pushes it into Republican territory. A Democrat would at least have her screwing other women.
 
2011-09-14 02:32:58 PM  
Waggin' Tails would be an awesome strip club name.
 
2011-09-14 02:33:23 PM  
What the hell is a town president? Is that like an ultra mayor?
 
2011-09-14 02:33:42 PM  
In my mind, this is the funniest sexual harassment episode ever.
 
2011-09-14 02:33:55 PM  
Really? No one? farkers are slipping.
www.themockdock.com
 
2011-09-14 02:34:04 PM  
morehockeylesswar.org
 
2011-09-14 02:35:08 PM  
Ass, then gas. No one rides for free.
 
2011-09-14 02:35:32 PM  

mediablitz: I can't find his party affiliation anywhere. Since a woman was involved, I assume he is a Democrat...


He's a fatty, so that makes him a Republican.
 
2011-09-14 02:35:57 PM  
Indeed, it is a strange-disposed time:
But men may construe things after their fashion...
 
2011-09-14 02:36:30 PM  
Good to see that Boss Hogg finally got the memo and stopped wearing white after Labor Day.
 
2011-09-14 02:36:49 PM  

PYROY: What the hell is a town president? Is that like an ultra mayor?


I am the President of Jellybeans!
 
2011-09-14 02:36:57 PM  
Damn, she's so fine (new window).
 
2011-09-14 02:37:32 PM  
Headline with breast mentioned?
BIE/EIP please or I'll fart in your general direction
/DRTFA
 
2011-09-14 02:37:59 PM  
The guy wouldn't be in this mess if he had gotten out of the car before farting.
 
2011-09-14 02:38:23 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: Yeah, but he wanted her to screw men while he watched. That pushes it into Republican territory. A Democrat would at least have her screwing other women.


You kidding? A democrat (Jack Ryan) wanted this kind of thing with then-wife Jeri Ryan (yeah, THAT Jeri Ryan). News got out, it cost him a senate race which Obama won, and the rest is history. I sometimes have to google it to remind myself that it really happened. It's bizzarre that I'm the only one who remembers it.

well, me and CNN (new window)
 
2011-09-14 02:39:17 PM  
It's the Incredible Bulk!
 
2011-09-14 02:39:22 PM  

Walker: mediablitz: I can't find his party affiliation anywhere. Since a woman was involved, I assume he is a Democrat...

Republican


Impossible. I have it on good authority that the media only excludes the perv's party affiliation when they're Democrats.
 
2011-09-14 02:41:15 PM  

Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher: Good to see that Boss Hogg finally got the memo and stopped wearing white after Labor Day.


And usually it's the Duke brothers getting into trouble
/daisy duke
 
2011-09-14 02:41:16 PM  
If he's like most politicians, no one pays any attention to him till he farts.
 
2011-09-14 02:41:52 PM  

dr.zaeus: Damn, she's so fine (new window).


Looks like she was pretty hot at one point.

fireclown: The Jami Turman Fan Club: Yeah, but he wanted her to screw men while he watched. That pushes it into Republican territory. A Democrat would at least have her screwing other women.

You kidding? A democrat (Jack Ryan) wanted this kind of thing with then-wife Jeri Ryan (yeah, THAT Jeri Ryan). News got out, it cost him a senate race which Obama won, and the rest is history. I sometimes have to google it to remind myself that it really happened. It's bizzarre that I'm the only one who remembers it.

well, me and CNN (new window)


That article says he's a Republican. But it's a real shame for somebody to be persecuted for wanting to have group sex.
 
2011-09-14 02:42:19 PM  

fireclown: The Jami Turman Fan Club: Yeah, but he wanted her to screw men while he watched. That pushes it into Republican territory. A Democrat would at least have her screwing other women.

You kidding? A democrat (Jack Ryan) wanted this kind of thing with then-wife Jeri Ryan (yeah, THAT Jeri Ryan). News got out, it cost him a senate race which Obama won, and the rest is history. I sometimes have to google it to remind myself that it really happened. It's bizzarre that I'm the only one who remembers it.

well, me and CNN (new window)


No we remember it, we just remember he was a Republican.
 
2011-09-14 02:42:37 PM  
Top 10 Lines Heard from a Politician Committing Sexual Harassment

10. Baby, I'd like to stuff your ballot boxes.
9. Miss Jones, hold my calls. I'm polling the electorate.
8. I'm going to filibuster the heck out of you.
7. Sure I can help your husband, but it'll take a bipartisan effort.
6. We might as well talk a little shop while we're on the same Page.
5. Are you happy to see me or is that a Gerrymander in your pants?
4. I'm a Conservative Republican, what do you expect, Saint Martin of Tours?
3. Let's play pin the Donkey Tail on the Elephant.
2. I've been a Bad Widdle Boy. I think the Party Whip should punish me.
1. Have I got a Little Bill for you!
 
2011-09-14 02:43:37 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: "I bit her on the neck, she farted, and then jumped out the window!"


Number One on the list of things that Count Dracula is unlikely to say.
 
2011-09-14 02:44:04 PM  

MrEricSir: mediablitz: I can't find his party affiliation anywhere. Since a woman was involved, I assume he is a Democrat...

He's a fatty, so that makes him a Republican.


He's Democrat cause the press doesn't have "Republican" in big bold letters in the article.
 
2011-09-14 02:44:36 PM  
What a ladies man.
 
2011-09-14 02:44:50 PM  

fireclown: The Jami Turman Fan Club: Yeah, but he wanted her to screw men while he watched. That pushes it into Republican territory. A Democrat would at least have her screwing other women.

You kidding? A democrat (Jack Ryan) wanted this kind of thing with then-wife Jeri Ryan (yeah, THAT Jeri Ryan). News got out, it cost him a senate race which Obama won, and the rest is history. I sometimes have to google it to remind myself that it really happened. It's bizzarre that I'm the only one who remembers it.

well, me and CNN (new window)


7 of DAAAAAMN!
 
2011-09-14 02:44:56 PM  

cowgirl toffee: If he's like most politicians, no one pays any attention to him till he farts.


He's a politician . . . his gas is probably better than the sh*t coming out of his mouth.
 
2011-09-14 02:45:58 PM  

cowgirl toffee: MrEricSir: mediablitz: I can't find his party affiliation anywhere. Since a woman was involved, I assume he is a Democrat...

He's a fatty, so that makes him a Republican.

He's Democrat cause the press doesn't have "Republican" in big bold letters in the article.


Which press? There isn't only one.
 
2011-09-14 02:46:11 PM  
Sounds like one of those 'give them an inch, they'll grab a mile of tit' guys. The type that doesn't understand that more than one set of boundaries exist, or can be different under different circumstances. It'd be a hard one to prosecute for harassment, I'd think, since it reads like there was some pre-existing relationship. Still, there is a hell of a difference between being okay with dinner, and maybe even cuddling, or hell, having sex with someone, and randomly grabbing someone's tit in public. Somehow just looking at him I get the feeling he spends a lot of time saying, "Aww, don't be like that, you know you love it, baby." Which, just...ewww. Ewwwwww. 'course I could be completely off base, too. Which is why I'm happy enough that we have courts.
 
2011-09-14 02:47:18 PM  

brantgoose: Top 10 Lines Heard from a Politician Committing Sexual Harassment

10. Baby, I'd like to stuff your ballot boxes.
9. Miss Jones, hold my calls. I'm polling the electorate.
8. I'm going to filibuster the heck out of you.
7. Sure I can help your husband, but it'll take a bipartisan effort.
6. We might as well talk a little shop while we're on the same Paige.
5. Are you happy to see me or is that a Gerrymander in your pants?
4. I'm a Conservative Republican, what do you expect, Saint Martin of Tours?
3. Let's play pin the Donkey Tail on the Elephant.
2. I've been a Bad Widdle Boy. I think the Party Whip should punish me.
1. Have I got a Little Bill for you!


FTFY
 
2011-09-14 02:47:31 PM  
EWWWwwwwww.

this is when my internal cartoon soundtrack starts up.
Bugs Bunny: "Uhmm no tanx!"
 
2011-09-14 02:47:32 PM  
He's a douche, yadda yadda.

Starzyk alleged in court papers Dominick repeatedly groped her or touched her inappropriately and sent her text messages ... In her deposition, Starzyk described her frustration at Dominick's alleged continued groping.

I get it, you don't deserve to get groped, no one deserves that and so on. it's bad and it's his fault and whatnot. But seriously. If a guy is repeatedly groping you and sending you sexual text messages and whatnot, why the hell do you keep hanging out with him?

Dominick countered that the only sex acts he had with Starzyk were consensual - she denies any sexual activity happened at all - and says she is a woman scorned after he married his current wife.

Dude's probably a douche, he even looks like a douche but I'm having a tough time disbelieving his side if you kept going back.
 
2011-09-14 02:47:49 PM  

dr.zaeus: Waggin' Tails would be an awesome strip club name.

Bar Fly: Where's the Manager?

Bartender: Miss Bo Peep is in the Black Sheep Room. But don't disturb him. He just crammed Jimmy the Squid into a bottle of shrimp sauce. You might say he's a bit moody since he lost his favorite sheep in a game of poker last night.

Bar Fly: Agnes?

Bartender: Boy, could she ever waggle her tail. I'd be sore, too.

 
2011-09-14 02:49:02 PM  

nytmare: cowgirl toffee: MrEricSir: mediablitz: ...

Which press? There isn't only one.


Ok... "that press". Is that better?
 
2011-09-14 02:50:11 PM  

too_amuzed: cowgirl toffee: If he's like most politicians, no one pays any attention to him till he farts.

He's a politician . . . his gas is probably better than the sh*t coming out of his mouth.


Eewww. For some reason... that made me throw up a little. :P
 
2011-09-14 02:51:54 PM  
Just came to say that Cicero town president's don't exactly have the best track record for staying out of trouble. Just ask Betty Loren-Maltese.
 
2011-09-14 02:51:58 PM  

mediablitz: I can't find his party affiliation anywhere.


Do you also care about the party affiliation of the douche who cuts you off in traffic? Yes, the Republicans are the moralizing theocrats who want to regulate consensual sex, but I don't recall any party being on record as pro-groping and pro-farting.
 
2011-09-14 02:52:29 PM  
I would have guessed it was Schwarzenegger.
 
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