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(Starpulse)   Danny Glover one-ups the people who wear Crocs in public   ( divider line
    More: Fail, Crocs, Shirley MacLaine, American cinema, Naomi Watts, Francis Ford Coppola, The Color Purple, American Star, Deauville American Film Festival  
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16658 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Sep 2011 at 6:40 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2011-09-16 01:25:21 AM  

Samwise Gamgee: You people seriously go hiking in these things?

I've probably walked more in my life than ten random people combined. Serious about that. Walking great distances has been a sort of weird hobby of mine since I was a kid. When I was sixteen I walked to a neighboring city, sixty miles away. Yes, walked. What can I say, I do my best thinking while walking. Done most of the Appalachian Trail. Walked from the beach, to the bay, to the beach, and back to the bay again, in San Francisco... in one day. Yeah, seven miles each way.

Eventually, I destroyed the arches in my feet (yeah, they tore in half) and my knees. My foot arches now have big lumps of scar tissue in them, and when I first stand up in the morning, I feel like I'm being stabbed in the arches with knives as the blood rushes to the farked up areas and pain is induced. The reason why this happened to me? Well, because I'm a crazy-ass walker, and due to the LACK OF PROPER ARCH SUPPORT in shiatty shoes. These ridiculous toe-shoes have, as far as I can tell, practically zero arch support.

Other foot injuries I've incurred include not once, but twice having my shoe skewered by random plant-barbs. Bamboo or something, I don't know. All I know is that the stem, trunk, or whatever of two random plants - or the same insidious plant, twice - have managed to drive right through the rubber soles of my shoes and spear my foot, deeply, requiring a trip to the doc for tetanus shots in case that was a random rusty nail, or something. After the second injury I switched to boots with steel plates in the arches.

Then there's the sprained ankles, which need no explanation. But it really sucked ass when it happened on a deep hike in the woods, and I had to fashion a makeshift walking stick and hobble my way back to civilization. Because I wasn't wearing footwear with proper ankle support at the time.

But, whatever. You guys enjoy your 'comfy' footwear. I still think you're farking idiots. When the helicopter has to fly you to safety, there will be a ridiculous photograph of you, on a stretcher, with one farked-up foot, and one good foot that's wearing a stupid-ass, useless, dangerous, ugly, but COMFY! toe-shoe-thing.

If I were simply walking into Mordor I'd probably wear something a bit more protective..

/I keed
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