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The Vatican's minor offenses, Washington Monument's crack problem, and Steven Seagal in "On Deadly Hound": some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 8/28 - 9/3
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-09-08 6:22:07 PM (6 comments) | Permalink
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2352 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2011 at 6:28 PM (3 years ago) | | share: more»
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Sorry this is a couple days late, have been traveling the last few days and had meant to send this from the airport.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-08-28 to Sat 2011-09-03:
Washington State police not amused when suspicious six-foot foot package on bridge is giant candy bar. Onlookers, however, break into snickers
Mexican police arrest five people for setting a bar/casino on fire, killing 52 people. Police still unsure what to make of all the abandoned semi-trucks outside the establishment or why it was only open after dark
Elderly couple gets midnight call from policeman with "heavy Indian accent" about their grandson in jail, needing bail money. Then, things get wired
Hundreds evacuated as wildfire in northern Texas causes area to be marginally more scorched, blackened and desolate than usual
German prostitutes to be taxed by the meter. Luckily subby likes short women
Actual Headline: "Fat cells may help create healthy bone." Chubby chasers nod in agreement
Another aftershock hits Virginia; crews forced to pick up second chair
Gulf storm expected to dump 20 inches of rain. Female meteorologist says it'll be 6 inches at best
New study reveals pirates of the Caribbean had a fascination with fine pottery, eye shadow
More fractures found in Washington Monument. Experts called in since D.C. officials have no idea how to fix crack problem
Vatican rejects criticism over sex abuse, argues they were only minor offenses
Nadal beats Kazakhstan's Golubev, could still face Djokovic in later rounds, and possibly the final boss, Kjrobvkxcyzymrykz
Einhorn laces out Mets deal
Baltimore wide receiver David Reed suspended for season opener. That's so Raven
Study financially backed by U.S. meat industry claims low-carb, meat-rich diets most effective. In related news, study by subby's bartender says fifteen gin and tonics a day good for your digestive system
Higgs particle could be found by Christmas, trigger apocalypse ahead of schedule
Amazon founder's spacecraft fails, will be returned to him with FREE super saver shipping
Beyonce is pregnant. Jay Z now has his 100th problem
"Max Payne" director John Moore to direct "Die Hard 5." Yippie-ki-yay, mediocre
Steven Seagal in 'On Deadly Hound'
Fundies call for a 'national registry of atheists'. Maybe you can just identify them by having them pin a yellow nothing to their lapel
Obama declares New Jersey a disaster area. This is not a repeat since 1787 statehood
"Dick Cheney Takes A Shot At Sarah Palin" HOLY CRAP, NEWSFLASH, THAT IS UNBELI- Oh, you mean a figurative shot? Sorry, it's Cheney, you never know
Ford and Toyota are teaming up to make a hybrid truck. Vehicle planned to uncontrollably speed up and then break down
Lockheed could land deal with Japan for stealth jet, if they could only find the damn thing
Ohio becomes first state to sell prison to private company for $72 million, narrowly beating out competing bid by the Cincinnati Bengals
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