Chiropractic Assistant
We will not:
-Adjust or "crack" you
-Diagnose you (in person, on the phone, or via email)
-Cause you to die/become paralyzed/have a stroke
-Sit and chat all day because we have nothing else to do
-Inflate the doctor's ego
-Give you drugs

We will:
-Listen to you
-Try to help you feel better (within limits- I am not a bartender/dealer/sex worker/shrink)
-Make sure your appointment is quick and thorough
-Be happy to share any and all of our training in anatomy, physiology, herbology, radiology, insurance billing, etc

/Loves science
//Not a woo-woo crazy person
///Leaving the job to become a Zoo Keeper (article seems to be spot on for that position)

I'm an accountant. All the comments about how you don't have to be good at math to be an accountant is spot-on.

Financial Accounting is usually the first class that they teach in business school. Then, you move on to the harder, more advanced stuff. My boss thinks her job is the most difficult in the world, and doesn't understand why I don't take it as seriously as she does. The hard part to me, once you get a decent grasp of all accounting concepts, is shuffling papers around and dealing with corporate politics.

Can't wait to move into financial analysis, statistics analysis, or real estate investment once I'm done with b-school. Any tips or pointers?

khyberkitsune: bunner: So, essentially, set up empirical light spectrum and intensity demand metrics for a given species, add nutrients and control digitally for optimal growth / energy use results? It's basically a nomogram for plants? I'm sure I'm missing something.

Yea, you're missing out the other part of this whole thing:

Ah. : /

Such research led me to develop ways of bypassing photosynthesis entirely :D

Neato.

A farker will very soon be responsible for a HUGE chunk of global food production. Remember that.

Noted.

todd_zilla,

Awesome picture. At the risk of sounding crass though, how does one make a living in that profession? I LOVE photography and would like to do it, but I am under the impression it is a very difficult "hit or miss" business.

That scientists are good at egghead stuff like math and statistics.

The reality: even though data analysis is a big and important part of their job, most scientists take one intro probability and statistics course in their sophomore year, and most of it is lost by their senior year. For many of them, statistics are these opaque things computed by a statistical package or by Excel, and they can barely tell if they're using the right formula.

This is pretty problematic, because if you don't really understand the meaning behind the formulas, you don't understand the assumptions behind them, which are sometimes invalid when used with your data. For example, I occasionally see papers with P-values computed from an iid distribution, when the data being tested (e.g. daily temperatures) are anything but iid. If I point out this mistake, I sometimes get the retort that I must be wrong because they used "the formula" for a P-value exactly as it appeared in a book.

The worst are physicists, who are 100% convinced that they did their statistics right, because statistics isn't physics and only physics is hard.

That I'm:
Over-stressed.
Suicidal.
An alcoholic.
Prone to divorce.
Sleepy as fark.

/air traffic controller

Typing this from work, fancying a nap.

todd_zilla: [toddcaudle.com image 403x510]
The misconception is that being a professional landscape photographer isn't actually work. I don't try to correct anyone (GF included), I just revel in the awesomeness of my "job."

Anyone who thinks that isn't work should get to carry your gear around for a week. ;)

My personal favorite is "Jeez! How hard could it be to build an airplane?" and Monday Morning Quarterbacking about this or that delay. The worst offenders are Flight Simulator nerds who think that since they can fly a fake airplane, their opinions are empirical fact.

khyberkitsune: Such research led me to develop ways of bypassing photosynthesis entirely :D

Just how the heck are you going to bypass photosynthesis. Since the plants do it naturally.
That's sort of like saying your going to bypass breathing.

Now the setup in your pic using LED's for to get just the exact lighting is an EXTREMELY cool idea. But to be honest I don't see many real world applications due to cost. Correct me if I'm wrong here but is your goal to replace sunlight with nothing but light from the LED's ?
It's a cool idea, but your production VS the same setup using sunlight would have to make enough more production to offset energy cost plus provide a good ROI.

I can see using this lighting at night to produce 24 hour growth, I can't see replacing sunlight completely with it.

I can see uses for it in extreme climates where growing seasons are short or nonexistent. The market potential in someplace like Alaska for fresh year round vegetables is enormous.

khyberkitsune: Lumens = performance.

It DOESN'T. Not for plants. Only for humans.

People fail miserably at understanding this.

Fark You, cannabis forums, for allowing this kind of BS myth to perpetuate.



Well pffffffftt, theres your market application!

Too many myths about Pharma research to delve into. Occassionally I try to educate because it seems important that people have some clue about where their aspirin came from, but then I remember why I usually don't bother.

blinkybluegnome: I work in doors and the hardware for them Locks and locksmithing is a part of that. My favourite example of 'the myth' is the guy that comes in asking to buy a 'master key' that will open all the locks in the city (or province, or country).
They are invariably crushed and/or disbelieving when I tell them that such a key doesn't exist, and suggest a sledge hammer.

Yes they do. It's called a bumpkey. Of course, all of the locks will have to be of the same make so that they use the same key structure and only vary by the cut...

Unless you use long-pin Abloy disc-locks.

JamesLi: doubled99: JamesLi 2011-09-08 03:56:45 PM

Hah, as a cop I'm not even sure where to start. Not as if most farkers would even believe me.



Did you become a cop because you like to kick ass and tell people what to do?

No. I actually dislike doing those things.

I bet you don't stand up against bad cops to the chief and union reps, as well as to the media.

khyberkitsune: You bypass photosynthesis by not irradiating the plant with light and stimulating the energy systems via other methods.

These systems pay themselves off in the first year if not sooner. I can produce in 1/8th of an acre and LED what it would take a full acre of land and sun to produce, at 50% less nutrient cost and 90% less water cost, in half the time frame.

citationneeded.jpg

/seriously, would love to read more on this

Jadedgrl: I'm just going to take your child away.

/social worker

I used to introduce my friend Chris to people saying he kidnaps kids for a living.

Now he takes retarded adults to hockey games.

sugarhi: With clinical psychology, I'm surprised by how many people still think we 'analyze' everyone we meet or can tell things about them after our first conversation. .

You mean when you meet another clinical psychologist on the street, you don't say "You're fine, how am I"?

Ace Rockola 42: That hotel key cards contain your credit card information. i have on several occasions opened word and swiped MY OWN credit card to show a guest what pops up. then swiped their room key card to show them that the magnetic information isn't even strong enough to be read. and when i read it with the key machine it gives room number and check out date.

/Bored Hilton Garden Inn employee.
//My Pleasure...

http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/hotelkey.asp

The problem comes when you see people with a hotel key that has been wiped and written with stolen credit card information. That is, skimming, which is different than having the information on there to begin with.

thelordofcheese: JamesLi: doubled99: JamesLi 2011-09-08 03:56:45 PM

Hah, as a cop I'm not even sure where to start. Not as if most farkers would even believe me.



Did you become a cop because you like to kick ass and tell people what to do?

No. I actually dislike doing those things.

I bet you don't stand up against bad cops to the chief and union reps, as well as to the media.

Refer to my original post. Regardless of what I say you won't believe me.

khyberkitsune: Pollexabator: khyberkitsune: You bypass photosynthesis by not irradiating the plant with light and stimulating the energy systems via other methods.

These systems pay themselves off in the first year if not sooner. I can produce in 1/8th of an acre and LED what it would take a full acre of land and sun to produce, at 50% less nutrient cost and 90% less water cost, in half the time frame.

citationneeded.jpg

/seriously, would love to read more on this

It's all proprietary stuff.

However, I can give you a video tour of both 'zero light' (there is human light so we can just barely see in that area) and LED testing in my research facility.

http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=2r5gleg&s=7

Bear with the audio, my camera wonks out in extremely low light levels. It gets better once I get to the LED testing area. The zero-light stuff had already been tested for months and the LED stuff was newly-installed.

Very interesting stuff, thank you. If what you're claiming pans out, congrats! I expect we'll be hearing more about your company in the future.

bunner: "I'm actually the live audio engineer mixing the band that's on stage now."

Heh, I've done a bit of live sound here and there, essentially hauling out my house PA* to festivals and the like.

Not exactly a myth, but at every single gig I've ever done (where the bands have been uniformly effusive in their praise for the stage mix. My fave compliment, from a thrash quartet from Germany "Wow, a sound guy who actually listens to us and gives us what we ask for? That never happens!") there's that One Guy. You know, the one who wants to chat you up and tell you how to fix the house mix, because he knows want it needs to be Just Right.

You've met him, right?

* What do you mean, "what do you mean, 'House PA'?" I have a PA in my house. Doesn't everyone? You don't? How do you throw parties and have band rehearsals? You don't do either of those things? What a bunch of stiffs!

JamesLi: Refer to my original post. Regardless of what I say you won't believe me.

Don't bother. TPOC is a well-established crank and general butthead. Pay him no mind, it's a waste of effort and will only serve to annoy you.

@mentallo69 --jealous much? i was going to be a scientist until i realized that if i wanted to have anything in life, i couldn't do it on a phd salary. if you decided to be a bigger man and do pure science--more power to you. we do need basic scientists, but if you think that all we do is use you for our benefits and drug patients--dead wrong. IMHO, all the basic science training as done NOTHING for my doctoring career. should have done psychology.

@jnapier--tell me about it....it gets a little better later, but not SO better that i'd recommend someone to go to medschool. if one thinks that medschool and being a doctor is a good way of making money, they should take up hedge fund management.....or plumbing....

That the answer is never actually one, or two. The answer is actually always "B," and we wish people would guess that.

khyberkitsune: These systems pay themselves off in the first year if not sooner. I can produce in 1/8th of an acre and LED what it would take a full acre of land and sun to produce, at 50% less nutrient cost and 90% less water cost, in half the time frame.

Interesting,,I can see it being possible on certain foods, as long as those foods are dependent on manual harvesting.

The minute you go to mechanical harvesting your going to have a problem.
That being getting enough labor to harvest things in large quantity. It's the same dilemma we farmers face now. No one wants to do farm labor. That's why almost all of our hay is done in round bales.

I do have interest in what your doing. We are currently considering moving our greens over to hydroponics. Are you doing this in a completely dark build, other than the LED's that is

Ok after watching the Video, What all have you grown with this setup.


Knowing exactly what new buildings cost, (we just finished a new 32X100X16)
I know what Organic lettuce sells for, at least in our market area (Pittsburgh & Cleveland)
Then you have the cost of climate control if you want to run year round.
Then there's all the support equipment, Shelving All the hydroponic stuff.
Shipping, marketing, Packaging, Labor the list goes on and on.

Whats it cost you a month the in electric? and how big of a building?

I can't see recovery in 2 years On a rough estimate I'm thinking more along the line of 10 years.

You're the jerk... jerk: You suck at reading charts.

THUD!!!! That was my head hitting the desk. Your right. I have no Idea why I interpreted it that way..

I still stand by the argument that rail will never completely replace interstate long distance trucking. The rail road has tried, and failed miserably every time.

zugzub: You're the jerk... jerk: You suck at reading charts.

THUD!!!! That was my head hitting the desk. Your right. I have no Idea why I interpreted it that way..

I still stand by the argument that rail will never completely replace interstate long distance trucking. The rail road has tried, and failed miserably every time.

I don't think anyone thinks it will, or has argued it will, completely replace it. But as fuel costs go up rail becomes relatively cheap, for a segment of goods where time is not important or delivery schedules are routine rail will become an increasingly large part of the picture.

Quartlow: khyberkitsune: These systems pay themselves off in the first year if not sooner. I can produce in 1/8th of an acre and LED what it would take a full acre of land and sun to produce, at 50% less nutrient cost and 90% less water cost, in half the time frame.

Interesting,,I can see it being possible on certain foods, as long as those foods are dependent on manual harvesting.

The minute you go to mechanical harvesting your going to have a problem.
That being getting enough labor to harvest things in large quantity. It's the same dilemma we farmers face now. No one wants to do farm labor. That's why almost all of our hay is done in round bales.

I do have interest in what your doing. We are currently considering moving our greens over to hydroponics. Are you doing this in a completely dark build, other than the LED's that is

here's a real question. Does it taste a fraction as good as the real stuff. Does the "terroir" offer no taste value at all? does the slow growth rate offer some taste differential?

I have always felt like you could taste some location in plants. but, maybe I just make that up.

That the autopilot does all the work. OK, so maybe it does, but somebody has to reach up and turn the seatbelt light off.

that my pictures are good because i have an expensive camera and all my job involves is pushing a button, therefore anyone who can get their hands on a professional grade camera can do it. and also that i and my family can live off of the proceeds of $25 portrait sessions. i mean, hell, walmart seems to be doing ok at that price, right?

nharrisphoto: that my pictures are good because i have an expensive camera and all my job involves is pushing a button, therefore anyone who can get their hands on a professional grade camera can do it.

Sadly, this isn't just a misconception of customers. There are also people who decide to go into professional photography after buying a bunch of expensive stuff, based on the same belief. They end up snarfing up some of the local business, and do such a terrible job that it drives even more customers to think "fark it, I can do just as good a job myself."

Appliance Parts counter sales

-All parts are exactly the same on all machines. I only carry $60k+ in parts in one of the smaller warehouses in my company because they're all the same.

-If your dryer isn't heating, then it is certainly your heating element. I'm just asking you to check the three thermostats and your circuit-breaker because I want to annoy you rather than sell you a part you don't need.

-Yes, if you show me the part I will automatically know what it is and can go in the back and return with it in just a few seconds. I just don't want to. Because you're ugly. And smelly. And smoke too much pot.

/Feels like shiat now because of all the questions he's asked his own IT guy.
//is considered the computer guy in his store because he is the youngest and knows a few things.
///Seriously feels like total cr*p about the whole IT thing...
//is going to call his IT guy to apologize...

That we are actively trying to annoy you and interrupt your dinner. That there is a giant conspiracy to harass you.
No, we just need the money that bad. Even if we've called you before, it was probably someone different and I have no idea who it was previously.

Can you guess what I am?
Hint: It's not a whore, though it might as well be.

/telemarketer

The English Major: That we're soulless, evil automatons out to get you fired for any reason.

HR?

The English Major: That we're soulless, evil automatons out to get you fired for any reason.

No wait, I got it: consultant! My mom does that too.
Do you sell ISO 9000?

khyberkitsune: column is outdoor-grown.

Conventional or organic? The results your showing are about what organic is above conventional.

350,000? That's a lot of farking lettuce, like over 40,000 pounds

Whats maximum yield in that building per growth cycle?

khyberkitsune: You bypass photosynthesis by not irradiating the plant with light and stimulating the energy systems via other methods.

These systems pay themselves off in the first year if not sooner. I can produce in 1/8th of an acre and LED what it would take a full acre of land and sun to produce, at 50% less nutrient cost and 90% less water cost, in half the time frame.

All of my systems have a maximum time to break-even of 2 years.

That's beating 5-10 years required for traditional land farming.


Where are you doing your research? If it's near me, I'd like to meet you. Your research sounds awesome. My locale is in my profile.

Didn't read most of this. I bathe dogs in a corporate grooming salon. People always assume that all dogs are absolute angels when we're working on them, and when the dog is thrashing around like some sort of hellion and trying to bite our fingers off, we must be in the wrong. They'll watch us struggling to get a dog under control to safely take it off the table (without actually doing the dog or ourselves any harm) and complain to management that we're brutalizing that poor innocent puppy.

Oh, also that we can fix anything. Got a long haired dog and haven't brushed it in a few months? We have a magic wand in the back that transforms matted pelts into show-quality haircuts without any problem! We also know everything about a dog's health and well-being, and will gladly tell you what over the counter medicine to give your dogs to cure its skin problems, allergies, diarrhea, vomiting, eye discharge, ear infection, or any other problem poor Fluffy might have.

That I died for your sins - it's always "me, me, me" with you people.

JamesLi: thelordofcheese: JamesLi: doubled99: JamesLi 2011-09-08 03:56:45 PM

Hah, as a cop I'm not even sure where to start. Not as if most farkers would even believe me.



Did you become a cop because you like to kick ass and tell people what to do?

No. I actually dislike doing those things.

I bet you don't stand up against bad cops to the chief and union reps, as well as to the media.

Refer to my original post. Regardless of what I say you won't believe me.

Doesn't matter if I believe you. Rather, it matters if you do it.

jdcgonzalez: If you go to prison you will be raped over and over and over again. It is not at all as common as everyone thinks.

/also, the term is 'punk', not 'biatch'

I was honestly wondering this earlier in the thread for some reason, so thanks. (I think it was therapist x5.)

irishdncr83: That all stay at home moms are stupid and uneducated. I have a bachelor's degree. Because someone told me I couldn't do it. I don't bother to try to correct anyone but generally show my intelligence anyway.

I found out this year that my mom graduated magna or summa cum laude from college with a bachelor's in business administration. I'm 33.

That makes me sad.

We put them to sleep so we don't have to talk to our patients.

hoyt clagwell: We put them to sleep so we don't have to talk to our patients.

Dogs aren't great conversationalists.

JunkyJu:

No AIDS, lower gas prices, unemployment was not at 9%, no Jersey Shore... yes it is worse now.

Rather than try going through a laundry list, I'll just leave this book of illustrations here:


Link (new window)