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(Some Scientician)   Bananas: Intelligently designed to fit into your hand...and to be completely wiped out by a fungal pathogen   (the-scientist.com) divider line 225
    More: Interesting, soil samples, pathogenic fungi, Mark Cavendish, Wikimedia Commons, University of Queensland, pathogens, genetic variations, experiments  
•       •       •

15073 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2011 at 6:35 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



225 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-09-07 08:24:38 PM  
Also intelligently designed to be a phone

farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2011-09-07 08:29:26 PM  
Too bad the article fails to even consider a greenhouse/hydro/aeroponic solution.
Im not a huge fan of monoculture, but a few greenhouses can be easily isolated and sterilised.

Oh wait, this is fark..... um, intelligently designed to fit in the hands of an ape.
You are upright apes without much body hair

/flame on
 
2011-09-07 08:29:57 PM  

TravisBickle62: The the bananas I used to fit in my anus were much sturdier, now they fall apart before they are halfway in.


Your anus has changed; bananas remain the same.
 
2011-09-07 08:37:45 PM  

Cpl.D: Ed Grubermann: You do know the difference between "a god" and "God" don't you?

Yeah, but you can't really go with a set definition though, because just like everything associated with it, the definition and meaning of it can be twisted to whatever is convenient for the moment.


Then why believe in it at all? If no definition of it is invalid, what's the point of even entertaining the idea that such a being exists?
 
2011-09-07 08:38:58 PM  

VictorOfBorge: Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today!


Thank you. I was wondering when Chapin would show up.

/sideswiped nineteen neat-parked cars, clipped off thirteen telephone poles...
 
2011-09-07 08:39:49 PM  

Cat With Two Heads: Cpl.D: Corn is like this too. Corn used to be a short grass, until the Mayans figured out how to fark with plants via selective breeding.

Without humans, corn would soon die out and become extinct.

It's actually way more complicated than that.

See, they found a lot of traits and genetic material from related members of the genus and family that corn(Zea mays) belongs to. The tale I was told in Anthropology class was that an edible fungus grows on the teosintes, corn's closest relative. Ancient Mesoamericans (far before the Maya) ate this fungus and deposited its inedible seed husks in trash, where it grew, etc. Then the Mesoamericans apparently just bred the shaite outta this grass until they could eat it. We're not exactly sure how, because all the genetic predecessors went extinct. When I see corn, I imagine human beings as a Borg-like entity, either completely assimilating or completely destroying all of nature.


Let's get rid of all these unnatural, evil genetically modified crops... like corn. And bananas.
 
2011-09-07 08:41:27 PM  
I find number of banana experts in here remarkable.

/nttawwt
 
2011-09-07 08:42:33 PM  

ShannonKW: TravisBickle62: The the bananas I used to fit in my anus were much sturdier, now they fall apart before they are halfway in.

Your anus has changed; bananas remain the same.


img148.imageshack.us

Proof of God right here. He made your anus the PERFECT size for inserting the humble banana right up in there.
 
2011-09-07 08:44:41 PM  

Ed Grubermann: Cpl.D: Ed Grubermann: You do know the difference between "a god" and "God" don't you?

Yeah, but you can't really go with a set definition though, because just like everything associated with it, the definition and meaning of it can be twisted to whatever is convenient for the moment.

Then why believe in it at all? If no definition of it is invalid, what's the point of even entertaining the idea that such a being exists?


I don't.
 
2011-09-07 08:46:17 PM  
Meh, I haven't eaten a banana in years. My girlfriend hates them, the smell makes her puke (got to witness that firsthand when someone who didn't believe it was true put one under her nose), and I'll be damned if I sneak around like a crack head to eat a banana.
 
2011-09-07 08:49:05 PM  

Oznog: Cat With Two Heads: Cpl.D: Corn is like this too. Corn used to be a short grass, until the Mayans figured out how to fark with plants via selective breeding.

Without humans, corn would soon die out and become extinct.

It's actually way more complicated than that.

See, they found a lot of traits and genetic material from related members of the genus and family that corn(Zea mays) belongs to. The tale I was told in Anthropology class was that an edible fungus grows on the teosintes, corn's closest relative. Ancient Mesoamericans (far before the Maya) ate this fungus and deposited its inedible seed husks in trash, where it grew, etc. Then the Mesoamericans apparently just bred the shaite outta this grass until they could eat it. We're not exactly sure how, because all the genetic predecessors went extinct. When I see corn, I imagine human beings as a Borg-like entity, either completely assimilating or completely destroying all of nature.

Let's get rid of all these unnatural, evil genetically modified crops... like corn. And bananas.


And everything you eat that comes from a store?
 
2011-09-07 08:53:54 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-09-07 08:55:01 PM  

alienated: Too bad the article fails to even consider a greenhouse/hydro/aeroponic solution.
Im not a huge fan of monoculture, but a few greenhouses can be easily isolated and sterilised.

Oh wait, this is fark..... um, intelligently designed to fit in the hands of an ape.
You are upright apes without much body hair

/flame on


Speak for yourself, jerkface.
 
2011-09-07 09:02:35 PM  

Rip Dashrock: Bunnyhat:

Picture of a wild banana. The black things are seeds

I didn't know that, seriously. So do they have bananas with seeds to plant, and seedless to eat?
Who says Fark isn't educational.


They do have seeds, extremely tiny black specks in your bananas are the seeds.
 
2011-09-07 09:02:43 PM  

Oznog: Let's get rid of all these unnatural, evil genetically modified crops... like corn. And bananas.


No, let's use genetic engineering to figure out how to make plants into a self-sustaining system small enough to leave Earth with us as a long-term source of oxygen, food, and other chemicals.
 
2011-09-07 09:05:46 PM  
img835.imageshack.us

Now imagine what Bert's penis looks like.
 
2011-09-07 09:07:56 PM  

MaxxLarge: I'm sure some geneticist could make a killing by finding a surviving Gros Michel strain, re-engineering Banana 1.0, and re-introducing them to supermarkets. Anything's possible.


Seems like a lot of places still grow them, just not on a plantation level.
 
2011-09-07 09:09:10 PM  
If you guys had ever tasted a banana other than Cavendish, you'd swap right over. There are so many other tasty cultivars... I'm just not sure how they would grow commercially, but they'd be worth it if they could produce reasonable yields.
 
2011-09-07 09:11:59 PM  

Cat With Two Heads: No, let's use genetic engineering to figure out how to make plants into a self-sustaining system small enough to leave Earth with us as a long-term source of oxygen, food, and other chemicals.


Waste water grown euglena.
 
2011-09-07 09:12:13 PM  

phalaeo: If you guys had ever tasted a banana other than Cavendish, you'd swap right over. There are so many other tasty cultivars... I'm just not sure how they would grow commercially, but they'd be worth it if they could produce reasonable yields.


I bet you don't own a TV
 
2011-09-07 09:12:30 PM  

Barakku: Rip Dashrock: Bunnyhat:

Picture of a wild banana. The black things are seeds

I didn't know that, seriously. So do they have bananas with seeds to plant, and seedless to eat?
Who says Fark isn't educational.

They do have seeds, extremely tiny black specks in your bananas are the seeds.


True, but those seeds are not viable.
 
2011-09-07 09:13:35 PM  
 
2011-09-07 09:15:22 PM  
howd we get a 117 comment thread on bananas? so random.
 
2011-09-07 09:40:03 PM  

NotMyAmrfis: Speak for yourself, jerkface.


Speak for yourself, Samsquatch
 
2011-09-07 09:41:48 PM  
images.wikia.com

Really? I'm the first?
/disappoint
 
2011-09-07 09:44:19 PM  

MaxxLarge: They used to say they were thin, woody, stringy and bitter compared to how they used to be.


I've long wondered if the strange tale of the domesticated banana is why artifically-flavored banana anything tastes nothing like what I expect a banana to taste like.

Your description of how current bananas taste relative to the previously common strain reminds me of my opinion of how bananas taste compared to artificial banana flavor, so you're kinda confirming my theory.

Of course, it might also have something to do with artificially flavored anything tends to have no texture, no fiber, and is LOADED with various sweeteners.
 
2011-09-07 09:44:49 PM  

trappedspirit: I find number of banana experts in here remarkable.


Yeah, me too. Maybe they all read Dan Koeppel's "Banana: The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World" (got halfway through it and that was enough for me).
 
2011-09-07 09:48:29 PM  
Paw Paw. North America's tropical fruit.

tasty fruit (new window)
 
2011-09-07 09:57:58 PM  

vodka: Just keep seeds/clones/whatever in storage until the stupid fungus dies off once it has killed every banana on the planet. Killing your host is not a good design.


The problem is, to illustrate it like people:

Say a disease crops up that is deadly to a person. The other eleventy billion people on the planet survive, because they have genetics/immune systems that plow over that disease like it was a joke.

Now, bananas, on the other hand, are only a couple identical people cloned eleventy billion times over. A disease that kills one will kill all of them, because there is zero differentiation.

That's the corner we've backed ourselves into. It's not the disease's fault that there's effectively only one host.
 
2011-09-07 10:07:15 PM  
bunnyhat,

That looks like a Pawpaw. Are you sure it isn't a Pawpaw.

/ mmm....Pawpaw.....
 
2011-09-07 10:13:32 PM  

Mister Peejay: vodka: Just keep seeds/clones/whatever in storage until the stupid fungus dies off once it has killed every banana on the planet. Killing your host is not a good design.

The problem is, to illustrate it like people:

Say a disease crops up that is deadly to a person. The other eleventy billion people on the planet survive, because they have genetics/immune systems that plow over that disease like it was a joke.

Now, bananas, on the other hand, are only a couple identical people cloned eleventy billion times over. A disease that kills one will kill all of them, because there is zero differentiation.

That's the corner we've backed ourselves into. It's not the disease's fault that there's effectively only one host.


And further more "is not good design" just goes to show that no one designed it and that evolution is NON directional and neither good or bad. There aren't good designs. There aren't bad designs. There are random chances. So, you don't think that that looks like it was a good design? Well, it wasn't. So after the fungus kills all of its hosts it will become extinct. (unless it mutates more, which it will...)
 
2011-09-07 10:13:58 PM  

Cpl.D: dionysusaur: Cpl.D: Corn is like this too. Corn used to be a short grass, until the Mayans figured out how to fark with plants via selective breeding.
Without humans, corn would soon die out and become extinct.

? Only the Monsanto crap with the terminator(tm) gene. Other than that, botany/evolution doesn't work that way.

Corn doesn't have a mechanism to separate and scatter the kernels from the cob.


What then, is the point of the scarecrow? Besides, without the heavy fertilizers and pesticides, the kernel density will drop quite a bit. It won't die off, just become a weed.
 
2011-09-07 10:14:32 PM  
Interesting. Bananas here sell for $12-18 /kg. Floods are the primary excuse. I wonder if this adds to the price.

/havent eaten a banana for two years
 
2011-09-07 10:17:51 PM  

Bunnyhat: Barakku: Rip Dashrock: Bunnyhat:

Picture of a wild banana. The black things are seeds

I didn't know that, seriously. So do they have bananas with seeds to plant, and seedless to eat?
Who says Fark isn't educational.

They do have seeds, extremely tiny black specks in your bananas are the seeds.

True, but those seeds are not viable.


The article I read stated that the black speck running down the core of the banana was the "seed." The Cavendish no longer produces seeds and has to be grafted to other "natural" banana trees. It takes several years to get fruit from one of these grafts, so it's expensive and slow. The bananas actually are asexual, with xyy chromosomes and can't reproduce on their own.

Link (pops)

/as opposed to yyz chromosomes
//Save the Geddys!
 
2011-09-07 10:18:13 PM  

astouffer: Oh thank god I farking hate bananas. The smell hits me in the back of the throat and makes me want to vomit.


To me they smell like vomit....do not like...
 
2011-09-07 10:18:14 PM  

Kirzania: [images.wikia.com image 400x300]

Really? I'm the first?
/disappoint


It's just that we're tired of fruit defense.

/How about if we learn to fight against a guy with pointed stick?
 
2011-09-07 10:20:45 PM  

Mister Peejay: I've long wondered if the strange tale of the domesticated banana is why artifically-flavored banana anything tastes nothing like what I expect a banana to taste like.


Artificial banana tastes a lot like really, really ripe bananas. Like when the skin is black and the flesh has turned an almost translucent yellow. A lot of westerners seem to like unripe, almost green bananas.
 
2011-09-07 10:23:08 PM  
Just like the "Oleanders are all going to DIE" scare...

pfft...
 
2011-09-07 10:25:32 PM  

Cpl.D: By definition, a god must be omnipotent and omniscient. By omnipotent, that means god can do anything he wants. By omniscient, he has to know literally everything. However, this makes a god an impossibility, but factoring in free will. If got has free will, then he does not know what he will do in the future, and he is not omniscient. If he does know what he will do in the future, then he does not have free will, therefore he is not omnipotent.

Logically, as described, there can not be a god.


No, God always had free will, the issue is that He gave man free will and everything has been a mess since then.
 
2011-09-07 10:29:07 PM  
s2.hubimg.com
 
2011-09-07 10:30:58 PM  
I see 2 possibilities here.

1) This is a conspiracy. People who like bananas in thier butts are just trying to replace the current ones with a larger,smoother, straighter variety.
2) Just plain alarmist crap. I bet that publication promotes a beleif in Global Warming too.
 
2011-09-07 10:31:18 PM  

Inhalien: No, God always had free will, the issue is that He gave man free will and everything has been a mess since then.


If he's got free will, then he has no idea what he'll do in the future. So he's not omniscient. And not a god.
 
2011-09-07 10:33:11 PM  

ShannonKW: TravisBickle62: The the bananas I used to fit in my anus were much sturdier, now they fall apart before they are halfway in.

Your anus has changed; bananas remain the same.


I remember a time when bananas were for more than just shoving up your ass.
 
2011-09-07 10:34:57 PM  

Cpl.D: Inhalien: No, God always had free will, the issue is that He gave man free will and everything has been a mess since then.

If he's got free will, then he has no idea what he'll do in the future. So he's not omniscient. And not a god.


I will choose a path that's clear - I will choose free will.

/can you tell I'm on a Rush kick tonight?
 
2011-09-07 10:39:22 PM  

MaxxLarge: This has happened before. The article is absolutely right about the whole genetic identities of the Gros Michel vs. the Cavendish thing. The whippersnappers of today should have patience with their grandparents when the oldsters complain that bananas didn't taste quite as "banana-y" as they used to. It's tempting to chalk it up to a deadening of the taste buds, but at least in the case of bananas, Nana and Pops aren't just engaging in produce nostalgia.

Having been born in '75, I've never eaten a Gros Michel that I know of, so I have no real basis of reference. But to hear my Grandparents tell it, old bananas vs. the current variety was as obvious a difference as farm-fresh vs. hothouse tomatoes. They used to say they were thin, woody, stringy and bitter compared to how they used to be.

I'm sure some geneticist could make a killing by finding a surviving Gros Michel strain, re-engineering Banana 1.0, and re-introducing them to supermarkets. Anything's possible.

</csb>


Well that explains bananas, what about tomatoes apples and strawberries?
 
2011-09-07 10:41:12 PM  

thebigfarker: I see 2 possibilities here.


And the disease susceptibility of monocultural crops being exactly what they say isn't even one of them? Really?

/Dunning-Kruger, please report to the front desk
 
2011-09-07 10:48:09 PM  
Hickory-smoked thebigfarker: I see 2 possibilities here.

And the disease susceptibility of monocultural crops being exactly what they say isn't even one of them? Really?

/Dunning-Kruger, please report to the front desk


The first 23 times I heard this, I thought it may something to think about.
Wolf! Sorry. False alarm.
/Wolf! Sorry. False alarm.
//Wolf! Sorry. False alarm.
///Wolf! Sorry. False alarm.
////Wolf! Sorry. False alarm.
.......
//Wolf! Sorry. False alarm.

Gets boring after a while, ya know.
 
2011-09-07 10:48:57 PM  

NotMyAmrfis: I've been banana spoiled living in the Caribbean. Our bananas are much smaller than the Cavendish- and there is no comparison when it comes to flavour, texture and general yumminess. I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm back in Big America.
My bananas:


lh5.googleusercontent.com

Those look good, but I don't know......

/love bananas
 
2011-09-07 10:53:09 PM  
s3.amazonaws.com

Bananas under imminent threat of extinction due to "Large Spoon Disease".
 
2011-09-07 10:54:19 PM  

JungleBoogie: "When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F Roberts


Yeah, when they understand, because they don't understand? what is this...i dont even
 
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