That always settled arguments in our house growing up.

I had to register my hands as deadly weapons. I have a concealed carry permit so I can walk around with my hands in my pockets.

biatch needs to stop yelling so much and maybe she won't get kicked in the head.

/Roadhouse....

AverageAmericanGuy: I had to register my hands as deadly weapons. I have a concealed carry permit so I can walk around with my hands in my pockets.

Didn't know that "deadly to your own DNA" counted. But OK.

Did he ask "Do you want karate?" first?

AverageAmericanGuy: I had to register my hands as deadly weapons. I have a concealed carry permit so I can walk around with my hands in my pockets.

Now with a name like AverageAmericanGuy, why do I picture the lethality of those hands involving a sextuple bacon cheeseburger and a heart attack?

"TELL ME HOW MY FOOT TASTES, MOM!"

Boot to the head!
/Frantics, anyone?

Cory William Morrel

So there wasn't mushroom in the house for martial arts?

/I'll be here all week
//try the shiatake
///please eat some WHAT?

Do you want to go do karate in the garage!?!

Karate Kyle approves!

GentlemanJ: Boot to the head!
/Frantics, anyone?

Oh Dr. Demento....what fond memories of my childhood you were.

East Naples man knocks out mom after she complained of his martial arts, deputies say MUGSHOT

Appropriate. Especially if he got her in the face.

And so to my cat Mittens, I bequeath my entire, vast boot to the head!

/what? people have already made this cultural reference?
//well, too bad! The Frantics are good for multiple citations!
///I will never understand this decimal nonsense if I live to be Z!

I tend to think that the older a martial arts enthusiast gets, the more their line between reality and crazy is blurred.

10 hours a week at the dojo pretending to be in a kung fu movie MUST have a certain effect over time.

GentlemanJ: Boot to the head!
/Frantics, anyone?

Great version of it (new window).

/boot to the head
//and another boot to her wimpy husband Hank

All he wanted was a Pepsi.

Who practices martial arts in shoes that scuff?

Well, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that.

No, she complained about my practicing marital arts.

Were I a 27 year-old living with my mother in Florida, I'd be tempted to kick her 41 year-old head, too.

sendbillmoney: No, she complained about my practicing marital arts.

Oooh, I've scuffed the wall practicing that too

GentlemanJ: Boot to the head!
/Frantics, anyone?

Beat me to it. "Ned Gruberman, you fail to grasp ti Kwan leap. Approach me that you might see. "

odinsposse: All he wanted was a Pepsi.

You're on drugs!

//institution!
//27 and still lives at home? really?

It is unclear what happened next due to redacted information regarding Morrel kicking his mother in the head. However, Morrel said he then called 911 when she became unconscious.

So, they can't be clear about what happened because the information was redacted, but they know he kicked her in the head and she became unconscious? Okay.

First thought
Ti Kwan Leep

Let me think about that for a second. Ok, I've thought about it and I think my answer to that question would have to be "fark you". I don't care if you wake up in a ditch with grown men shiatting on you and jumping on top of your head. Maybe your nose will turn into a big ole dick and you can stroke that all the time. I hope your hair turns into dog shiat one day. You wake up and you run your comb through it and all that it is, is little trundles of dog shiat. The worst shiat that you could imagine. AIDS... it's cool. Everything comes around sweetheart.

He farked that biatch UP!!!

Sounds like mom needs to kick his worthless, 27 year-old ass out and make the punk support himself. If I had ever laid a hand (or foot) on my mother, my old man would have beaten me to a pink mush, even at 27. I'm guessing that was never much of a concern here.

gameshowhost [TotalFark] 2011-09-03 05:15:44 PM
i52.tinypic.com

I've seen it, but can't remember what movie that is...what is it?

HAA, If I ever tried that with my mom she would block my kick,
Give me a quick kick to the nads ,
Then knock me down with a left roundhouse kick.

Then she would say "You ever try that again and Il tell your father.'

I learned later Mom was the head barmaid and Dad was running the poker tables
in the back..Gotta love those old river towns.

Volector: [cdn.stripersonline.com image 300x225]

/Roadhouse....


*holding up tiny foot of rage*

/shaking it too

27 and still living at home? Blah blah Fark handle blah blah...

cretinbob: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]
Was he wearing these bad boys?



Mom...we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.

haeferlkafe: I tend to think that the older a martial arts enthusiast gets, the more their line between reality and crazy is blurred.
10 hours a week at the dojo pretending to be in a kung fu movie MUST have a certain effect over time.

I knew a guy who'd been doing martial arts for 30 years. On the contrary, he was the most zen person I've ever met. Told me he'd never kicked anyone's ass and hoped he never would.

His body was farking perfect, too, and he was 50 years old.

cryinoutloud: haeferlkafe: I tend to think that the older a martial arts enthusiast gets, the more their line between reality and crazy is blurred.
10 hours a week at the dojo pretending to be in a kung fu movie MUST have a certain effect over time.

I knew a guy who'd been doing martial arts for 30 years. On the contrary, he was the most zen person I've ever met. Told me he'd never kicked anyone's ass and hoped he never would.

His body was farking perfect, too, and he was 50 years old.

I know a guy like that, too...mid-40's, practitioner of three martial arts, and tournament winner in all of them. Kindest and most pacifistic guy I know. He's now a medical doctor.

buckler: cryinoutloud: haeferlkafe: I tend to think that the older a martial arts enthusiast gets, the more their line between reality and crazy is blurred.
10 hours a week at the dojo pretending to be in a kung fu movie MUST have a certain effect over time.

I knew a guy who'd been doing martial arts for 30 years. On the contrary, he was the most zen person I've ever met. Told me he'd never kicked anyone's ass and hoped he never would.

His body was farking perfect, too, and he was 50 years old.

I know a guy like that, too...mid-40's, practitioner of three martial arts, and tournament winner in all of them. Kindest and most pacifistic guy I know. He's now a medical doctor.

So...they did this just for the exercise and anger management? Sometimes you HAVE to fight to be a man... people that are too nice are often TOO Nice and have concealed regrets. You would have a hard time convincing me that nobody that you come in contact with during your tenure on God's footstool has not greatly needed their backside handed to them... it is ok to have SOME of your friends be wimps, but selecting a few cage fighters is best practice.

I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say. I can't speak for my friend, but I think one of the manliest things you can do is to prepare to defend yourself and others, and then spend your time making sure that preparation isn't ever needed, by displaying kindness and compassion. I do know that if it came down to it, there's no person I'd rather have at my back.

buckler: I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say. I can't speak for my friend, but I think one of the manliest things you can do is to prepare to defend yourself and others, and then spend your time making sure that preparation isn't ever needed, by displaying kindness and compassion. I do know that if it came down to it, there's no person I'd rather have at my back.

you sound so nice and reasonable...

/the hell you doin here??
//i kid i kid....been reading too much Fark lately

cretinbob: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]
Was he wearing these bad boys?

Thank you for those bad boys.

I grew up in East Naples, so I'm really getting a kick out of these comments.

/I'll be here all week.
//No I won't

chaddsfarkprefect: Were I a 27 year-old living with my mother in Florida, I'd be tempted to kick her 41 year-old head, too.


Let's see.....mom is 41, kid is 27......mom had kid at 14. Sounds about right. Didn't anyone inform this broad at the time that just because the plumbing worked, it didn't mean the house was ready to occupy?