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(Huffington Post)   Michele Bachmann: DRILL IN THE EVERGLADES Geologists: Um ok, but just so you know, there's no oil there   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 126
    More: Dumbass, Michele Bachmann, Everglades, Allen West, drilling rights, The Palm Beach Post  
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5005 clicks; posted to Politics » on 31 Aug 2011 at 2:29 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



126 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-08-31 02:12:42 PM
The amount of hypocrisy in this article is just staggering. Republicans still want to "drill baby drill" in environmentally-protected areas...unless said areas are in their own districts. Then it's strictly NIMBY time.

Not to mention that Michele Bachmann thinks "God" put oil under Florida? Wait...Isn't oil just decomposed dinosaurs? Which fundamentalist Christians don't believe in? Has the GOP even HEARD of "cognitive dissonance?"

F*CK, these people are idiots.
 
2011-08-31 02:28:11 PM
She was just joking. The minx has such a lively sense of humor!
 
2011-08-31 02:30:44 PM
They're keeping it a secret. It's in there all right. Why else would we have so many alligators and snakes guarding it?
 
2011-08-31 02:31:25 PM

MaxxLarge: Not to mention that Michele Bachmann thinks "God" put oil under Florida? Wait...Isn't oil just decomposed dinosaurs? Which fundamentalist Christians don't believe in?


Oil, like the so-called dinosaur bones, are a test of our Faith. God put them there to make sure we believe in Him even in the face of incontrovertible evidence.
 
2011-08-31 02:31:33 PM
Who said anything about drilling for oil? Want to do away with tree-hugging liberals? Get rid of the trees. It's brilliant political strategy.
 
2011-08-31 02:31:37 PM
Scarier still, Perry is dumber than Bachmann.
 
2011-08-31 02:32:42 PM
Whatever libs, geologists also want us to believe that the earth is older than Jesus.
 
2011-08-31 02:33:10 PM
Stranger still, even death may die.
 
2011-08-31 02:33:10 PM

Mike_LowELL: Who said anything about drilling...


Because Bachmann's 'drilling' remark comes with the context that actually implies tapping a large deposit of puppies?
 
2011-08-31 02:33:11 PM

MaxxLarge: Wait...Isn't oil just decomposed dinosaurs?


Which one of our resident farkwit llama felchers was a proponent of abiogenic petroleum formation? I can't remember any more :(
 
2011-08-31 02:36:20 PM
MaxxLarge: Not to mention that Michele Bachmann thinks "God" put oil under Florida? Wait...Isn't oil just decomposed dinosaurs?
==============================================================

No. No it isn't.

But thanks for playin'!
 
2011-08-31 02:36:34 PM

Cinaed: Because Bachmann's 'drilling' remark comes with the context that actually implies tapping a large deposit of puppies?


Oil comes from Jesus. Corporations pray to our Lord and Savior™ for oil every single day and he delivers. We call it "drilling into the ground" so the stupid liberal buttfaces don't get butthurt when they learn God can do everything.
 
2011-08-31 02:36:52 PM
Well, I recently heard Charlie Daniels say we should drill any place that is damp, so we can quit buying oil from people that hate us.
 
2011-08-31 02:37:46 PM
How 'bout the oil companies just drill on the vast tracks of land they have access to that they haven't done anything with in years?


Michele Bachmann has Charlie Kelly levels of intelligence...

Charlie: Do wasps make honey?
Dennis: No, wasps do not make honey.
Charlie: All right, well, I'm gonna check it out anyway; there could be something delicious in here that wasps do make, and I want that.
 
2011-08-31 02:38:22 PM

Mike_LowELL: Who said anything about drilling for oil? Want to do away with tree-hugging liberals? Get rid of the trees. It's brilliant political strategy.


It'll be a great first step in transitioning America to Haiti 2.0
 
2011-08-31 02:38:37 PM
I'm not sure what it says about Republicans in general when GOP candidates clearly believe the most effective way to get their votes is to be the most insanely raging buffoons imaginable.

Actually, I do know what that says about Republicans. It's just that it makes me want to cry for humanity.
 
2011-08-31 02:39:21 PM

jake3988: No. No it isn't. But thanks for playin'!


Admittedly, that's an over-simplification, as I left out that it's not just dinosaurs, but ALL organic matter from the period. Though, I'd be interested to hear what you think it IS then, O Great Science Expert.

Show your work. Use examples. And be sure to state your credentials.
 
2011-08-31 02:40:16 PM

Cat Food Sandwiches: Well, I recently heard Charlie Daniels say we should drill any place that is damp, so we can quit buying oil from people that hate us.


Did he have a fiddle of gold with him? You might have been listening to Satan.
 
2011-08-31 02:40:52 PM

bwilson27: Stranger still, even death may die.


good advice from old HP himself
 
2011-08-31 02:43:59 PM
Let's access this wonderful treasure trove of energy that God has given us in this country. Let's access it responsibly.

If God loves the United States so much why did he put all the oil underneath countries that hate us?
 
2011-08-31 02:44:06 PM
Indiana Bachmann and the Search for Oil Dorado!
 
2011-08-31 02:44:10 PM
Welcome to Idiot America. What started with a couple idiots on AM radio is mainstream, and all over the place.
 
2011-08-31 02:45:55 PM

MaxxLarge: Isn't oil just decomposed dinosaurs?


I thought that the most widely accepted hypothesis these days (though still hotly contested by a sizable minority) is that petroleum is essentially a fossilized form of oceanic algae? I doubt it's dinosaurs or any other megafauna - it doesn't seem as there would have been enough biomass from that source, even over a geological time frame, to account for the quantity of petroleum trapped under the surface today.
 
2011-08-31 02:46:26 PM
The oil is not inland, its on the Florida coast. For years, bikini clad bathers couldn't even visit Miami without being slathered in oil.
 
2011-08-31 02:46:43 PM

Lando Lincoln: They're keeping it a secret. It's in there all right. Why else would we have so many alligators and snakes guarding it?


and injuns
 
2011-08-31 02:46:51 PM

12349876: Mike_LowELL: Who said anything about drilling for oil? Want to do away with tree-hugging liberals? Get rid of the trees. It's brilliant political strategy.

It'll be a great first step in transitioning America to Haiti 2.0


Well, the 'tear down all the trees' method worked ok for Rapa Nui, right?
 
2011-08-31 02:47:31 PM

BMulligan: MaxxLarge: Isn't oil just decomposed dinosaurs?

I thought that the most widely accepted hypothesis these days (though still hotly contested by a sizable minority) is that petroleum is essentially a fossilized form of oceanic algae? I doubt it's dinosaurs or any other megafauna - it doesn't seem as there would have been enough biomass from that source, even over a geological time frame, to account for the quantity of petroleum trapped under the surface today.



Oil is a magical liquid placed deep in the earth's crust by God. The more we burn it, the more that God turns the whole world into a warm, tropical paradise. Drill Baby, Drill!
 
2011-08-31 02:49:02 PM
Hey why don't we just go over to China and start drilling there? I mean you want to drill where the oil is right?
 
2011-08-31 02:50:35 PM
God cannot just magically create oil out of nothing. That's just retarded. He makes oil by converting the tears of liberals and the blood of brown people into oil. If we don't keep him supplied, we'll eventually run out of oil. We're just trying to do God's work here, people.
 
2011-08-31 02:52:13 PM
We really are at a crossroads here. The right is not just in the position of having a legitimate disagreement with liberals over interpreted data or a difference of opinion. The right is just OBJECTIVELY WRONG.

We are now in a position where you are literally voting based on whether you believe what your own senses tell you about reality or not. Supporting the current republican leadership literally means being delusional by choice.

This is an absolutely terrifying new reality.
 
2011-08-31 02:54:23 PM
When it comes to the glory of drilling, I'm sure Bachmann's husband knows the right holes.
 
2011-08-31 02:55:02 PM
Bachmann, who wants to get rid of the federal Environmental Protection Agency, said she would rely on experts to determine whether drilling can be done without harming the environment.

Hoooo boy.
 
2011-08-31 02:55:07 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Whatever libs, geologists also want us to believe that the earth is older than Jesus.


Everyone knows that Jesus bred dinosaurs and buried their decaying carcasses to ensure that mankind has enough oil to last until Rapture.
 
2011-08-31 02:55:16 PM

MaxxLarge: jake3988: No. No it isn't. But thanks for playin'!

Admittedly, that's an over-simplification, as I left out that it's not just dinosaurs, but ALL organic matter from the period. Though, I'd be interested to hear what you think it IS then, O Great Science Expert.

Show your work. Use examples. And be sure to state your credentials.


-------------

Oh come on. You made the unbelievably retarded and simplistic statement that oil is "decomposed dinosaurs" and then when someone calls you out on it you get all pissy. If you are such a sensitive little flower, don't say stupid shiat that people can call you out on. It's not that complicated.
 
2011-08-31 02:55:47 PM
Never let facts get in the way of a good political position. That's the Republican Way.

/can I start complaining about the Pubs "jamming something down my throat" yet?
 
2011-08-31 02:56:25 PM

Fart_Machine: When it comes to the glory of drilling, I'm sure Bachmann's husband knows the right holes.


I would drill her mouth hole just to get her to shut the f*ck up.
 
2011-08-31 02:56:58 PM
Drill on the Moon!
 
2011-08-31 02:57:31 PM
I asked this question when the statement first came out; is there known oil there?
 
2011-08-31 02:58:00 PM
Her antics and shenanigans would be much more amusing if she weren't running for president. As it is, they're kind of frightening and tragic.
 
2011-08-31 03:00:15 PM
i301.photobucket.com

And also from the archives...

i301.photobucket.com
 
2011-08-31 03:00:26 PM
I like the part where she wants to abolish the EPA and let "experts" decide if drilling is safe.

Apparently to the GOP "experts" are people who back your opinions in exchange for cash.
 
2011-08-31 03:00:30 PM
The idiocy of this whole thing is that she keeps talking about drilling "responsibly" while at the same time attacking the agency that decides what is responsible in regards to the environment.

Or in other words, if you want to dismantle the EPA, who exactly is left to decide what is and isn't environmentally "responsible?" Keep in mind that the EPA was created by a Republican because we got to the point where major rivers were catching fire when corporations got to decide what was environmentally responsible.
 
2011-08-31 03:01:14 PM

Soup4Bonnie: Bachmann, who wants to get rid of the federal Environmental Protection Agency, said she would rely on experts to determine whether drilling can be done without harming the environment.

Hoooo boy.


I know, it's like watching someone rail furiously against electric fencing, yet yearn for some means of shocking one's wang while pissing on a fence.
 
2011-08-31 03:03:03 PM
If we need money we could mine for diamonds in the Ozarks. Wait... I just got a check from Debeers. That was a stupid idea and forget I said it.
 
2011-08-31 03:07:29 PM

balloot: Or in other words, if you want to dismantle the EPA, who exactly is left to decide what is and isn't environmentally "responsible?"


Well, since we're talking about a Republican here, the Oil Industry are probably the "experts" she's referring to...
 
2011-08-31 03:07:53 PM
There may not be oil but there's a whole lot of phosphate in the Everglades IIRC. Now THERE's an interesting debate/analysis to be done.
 
2011-08-31 03:09:30 PM

MaxxLarge: Not to mention that Michele Bachmann thinks "God" put oil under Florida? Wait...Isn't oil just decomposed dinosaurs? Which fundamentalist Christians don't believe in?


Oil is god's diarrhea. Therefore, petroleum is a biofuel and the GOP is helping protect the environment.
 
2011-08-31 03:11:24 PM
Her campaign team are the most incompetent dipsh*ts to ever run a campaign. Does she not use teleprompters or note cards in her speeches? Is it to elitest to prepare for talking in public? Has she never even talked to someone who, you know, teaches the subject?
 
2011-08-31 03:11:41 PM
Look, either her husband or Jesus told her to drill for oil in the Everglades, so you elitist "geologists" can just STFU, ok?
 
2011-08-31 03:16:07 PM

shower_in_my_socks: Look, either her husband or Jesus told her to drill for oil in the Everglades, so you elitist "geologists" can just STFU, ok?


Jesus knows where all the good oil is. Marcus?...well, he probably knows a thing or two about drilling in the dirt.

BACHMANN 2012! (12-21-2012, to be precise)
 
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