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(Gawker)   Hustler says it's close to releasing a Rihanna sex tape ramma lamma ding dong just click the damn link   (gawker.com) divider line 83
    More: Cool, Rihanna, Coming Soon, human beings, Jada Pinkett Smith, sex tapes, Ryan O'Neal, Farrah Fawcett, Christina Aguilera  
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9117 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 25 Aug 2011 at 4:30 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-08-25 02:17:32 PM  
Sex tape? J. Cole really needs to ask for better residuals if he's forced to do the ol' hide the camcorder in the pile of clothes next to the bed trick. Not that I've ever done such a thing.
 
2011-08-25 02:23:05 PM  
Eh, not interested. The whole thing was probably written by a committee like all of her albums.
 
2011-08-25 02:31:13 PM  
meh
 
2011-08-25 02:39:16 PM  
they can show it in imax on her forehead because she has a big forehead.
 
2011-08-25 02:45:31 PM  
I can fap to this.
 
2011-08-25 03:10:06 PM  
Very bad things need to happen to the people who decided it would be fun to accuse somebody of child abuse just because her kid had a black eye.
 
2011-08-25 03:14:38 PM  
Lets hope she wore makeup to bed
 
2011-08-25 03:26:07 PM  
No thanks
 
2011-08-25 03:43:44 PM  
See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.
 
2011-08-25 03:46:45 PM  

Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.


Well that's just silly.
 
2011-08-25 03:50:14 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

Well that's just silly.


I should go ahead and release it now?
 
2011-08-25 03:53:15 PM  

imapirate: I can fap to this.


Willem Dafoe and I agree.

i52.tinypic.com
 
2011-08-25 03:56:47 PM  
She can't sing at all, but DAMMMMMNNNNN!

Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.


How can you have a sex tape? Everyone knows you're not real.
 
2011-08-25 03:57:14 PM  

Grables'Daughter: mitchcumstein1: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

Well that's just silly.

I should go ahead and release it now?


How else are you going to create a buzz? Now that the Kardashians are all married off, Paris Hilton is over 30, and whatever the hell happened to the tattoed myspace dwarf slut there's a void in the "vapid drunken party slut" marketplace. No one is in the spotlight. This is your time to grab it.
 
2011-08-25 03:58:49 PM  
Yes
 
2011-08-25 04:00:23 PM  

Grables'Daughter: mitchcumstein1: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

Well that's just silly.

I should go ahead and release it now?


Gotta get your name out there. Release a statement saying your looking into legal solutions at the same time.
 
2011-08-25 04:02:47 PM  
There's a repeat green. But I think the other one has the better headline.

http://www.fark.com/comments/6510526/Hustler-says-they-have-Rihanna-s e x-tape-that-shows-her-under-her-fella-fella-fella-fella
 
2011-08-25 04:05:25 PM  

WTF Indeed: She can't sing at all, but DAMMMMMNNNNN!

Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

How can you have a sex tape? Everyone knows you're not real.


Is that so.
 
2011-08-25 04:09:51 PM  

WTF Indeed: She can't sing at all, but DAMMMMMNNNNN!

Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

How can you have a sex tape? Everyone knows you're not real.


forum.bodybuilding.com
 
2011-08-25 04:14:30 PM  

Grables'Daughter: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

How can you have a sex tape? Everyone knows you're not real.

Is that so.


It's not a bad thing. Quite the opposite. For example I'm not a real person either. I'm a collection of hover rounds linked together to form a collective that has run out of ideas that are in anyway funny however I am still going to keep typing because if I stop then I'll have to admit that I really had no idea where I was going with the "You're not real" comment in the first place. Are you still reading this? Why is that? I already said there is no funny to be found here. So in place of funny I will now ramble on for a few more words so you, the reader, are able to say "tl;dr"
 
2011-08-25 04:21:58 PM  

Grables'Daughter: mitchcumstein1: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

Well that's just silly.

I should go ahead and release it now?


Yes.

Have you considered marketing it as a weight loss tape?

HORK YOUR WAY TO FITNESS!
 
2011-08-25 04:23:09 PM  

WTF Indeed: Grables'Daughter: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

How can you have a sex tape? Everyone knows you're not real.

Is that so.

It's not a bad thing. Quite the opposite. For example, I'm not a real person either. I'm a collection of hHover rRounds linked together to form a collective that has run out of ideas that are in anyway any way funny. hHowever, I am still going to keep typing because if I stop, then I'll have to admit that I really had no idea where I was going with the "You're not real" comment in the first place. Are you still reading this? Why is that? I already said there is no funny to be found here. So, in place of funny I will now ramble on for a few more words so you, the reader, are able to say "tl;dr"


FTFY
 
2011-08-25 04:28:44 PM  

Grables'Daughter: FTFY


Not as many grammar mistakes than I originally thought there were. Go me.
 
2011-08-25 04:30:29 PM  

Grables'Daughter: WTF Indeed: Grables'Daughter: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

How can you have a sex tape? Everyone knows you're not real.

Is that so.

It's not a bad thing. Quite the opposite. For example, I'm not a real person either. I'm a collection of hHover rRounds linked together to form a collective that has run out of ideas that are in anyway any way funny. hHowever, I am still going to keep typing because if I stop, then I'll have to admit that I really had no idea where I was going with the "You're not real" comment in the first place. Are you still reading this? Why is that? I already said there is no funny to be found here. So, in place of funny I will now ramble on for a few more words so you, the reader, are able to say "tl;dr"

FTFY


You know, assuming you are real, you should release a tape of you proofreading the shiat out English papers whilst scantily clad.

There's got to be a market for that, am I right?
 
2011-08-25 04:33:48 PM  
Hard to decide if I want to go for a "getting beat up by Chris Brown" joke or "S&M joke".

Either way the video should be rough.
/like your mother likes it, Trebek!
 
2011-08-25 04:33:59 PM  
Who or what is a Rihanna?
 
2011-08-25 04:35:03 PM  

mitchcumstein1: You know, assuming you are real, you should release a tape of you proofreading the shiat out English papers whilst scantily clad.

There's got to be a market for that, am I right?


You mean you *don't* have a copy of "String Bikini Proofreaders: Volume 7"?
 
2011-08-25 04:35:56 PM  
waits, she rammed a ding dong whar?

/eh eh eh
 
2011-08-25 04:38:23 PM  
Considering that during one of her concerts Rihanna had an old dude get on the stage and sat on him cowgirl style, I'd like to see how creative she is in the bedroom. But if she is as boring in the sack as Tonya Harding, Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian then there's now need for anyone to post the tape on any streaming site.
 
2011-08-25 04:47:48 PM  

Grables'Daughter: mitchcumstein1: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

Well that's just silly.

I should go ahead and release it now?


No. He just thinks it's silly you're in yet another thread begging for attention from a bunch of internet dorks.
 
2011-08-25 04:48:34 PM  

devilskware: Grables'Daughter: mitchcumstein1: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

Well that's just silly.

I should go ahead and release it now?

No. He just thinks it's silly you're in yet another thread begging for attention from a bunch of internet dorks.


At least she's not asking people for money in this one.

/yet
 
2011-08-25 04:48:46 PM  
i2.photobucket.com
 
2011-08-25 04:49:26 PM  

skinink: Considering that during one of her concerts Rihanna had an old dude get on the stage and sat on him cowgirl style, I'd like to see how creative she is in the bedroom. But if she is as boring in the sack as Tonya Harding, Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian then there's now need for anyone to post the tape on any streaming site.


I'd wager pretty good money that she's pretty kinky. I know other people write her songs, but she does sing about S&M a lot more than a vanilla person would probably want to. It could just be the image, but if I were singing about it I'd want some direct knowledge.

/She's on "the list".
 
2011-08-25 05:10:13 PM  
Close only counts in horse shoes and hand granades. Do or do not, there is no try.
 
2011-08-25 05:11:42 PM  

Hand Banana: Who or what is a Rihanna?


It's like a Justin Beiber but more rugged...it can take being smacked around a bit.
 
2011-08-25 05:12:17 PM  

Grables'Daughter: mitchcumstein1: Grables'Daughter: See, I'm holding out for awhile before releasing my sex tape.

Well that's just silly.

I should go ahead and release it now?



Hey, what about asking me first? I'll waive my share of the royalties if you wear the school girl outfit with pigtails for me again.

/It's just a fantasy
//Whoa Ohh Ohh Ohh
///It's not the real thing
//Whoa Ohh Ohh Ohh
 
2011-08-25 05:18:59 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Sex tape? J. Cole really needs to ask for better residuals if he's forced to do the ol' hide the camcorder in the pile of clothes next to the bed trick. Not that I've ever done such a thing.


Mac iSight camera, hide the application. Open a browser window. Looks like an innocuous laptop just sitting there...
 
2011-08-25 05:24:42 PM  

acaciaavenue: Rapmaster2000: Sex tape? J. Cole really needs to ask for better residuals if he's forced to do the ol' hide the camcorder in the pile of clothes next to the bed trick. Not that I've ever done such a thing.

Mac iSight camera, hide the application. Open a browser window. Looks like an innocuous laptop just sitting there...


You don't even need a laptop. If you have an iPhone you can just set it to record, lean it against something, and it will record until it runs out of space.
 
2011-08-25 05:25:59 PM  
I hear it will feature s, s, s, s, & m.
 
2011-08-25 05:27:29 PM  
And speaking of sex tapes. I made a sex tape once. Well, if you can call me sobbing after masturbating all alone a 'sex tape'.|

i.cdn.turner.com
You would not want to FAP
 
2011-08-25 05:28:26 PM  

pion: I hear it will feature s, s, s, s, & m.


One thing about that song that annoys me - she says "s s s s, m m m. She has extra sadism, not enough masochism.
 
2011-08-25 05:29:17 PM  
Rihanna is absolutely gorgeous. This sex tape should get an Oscar.
 
2011-08-25 05:32:26 PM  
I would like to see this motion picture of her slamming body.
 
2011-08-25 05:35:52 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: Rihanna is absolutely gorgeous. This sex tape should get an Oscar.



You know how I know you are straight?
 
2011-08-25 05:38:08 PM  

FarkinHostile: You know how I know you are straight?


I likea da hot chicks?
 
2011-08-25 05:43:11 PM  

Treygreen13: One thing about that song that annoys me - she says "s s s s, m m m. She has extra sadism, not enough masochism.


I'm glad I'm not the only one that bothers.

/She's not the only one
 
2011-08-25 05:47:03 PM  
Who cares about Rihanna? There's another story there that says neighbors can see directly into Nigella Lawson's bathroom in her new mansion. I need pics.
 
2011-08-25 05:53:02 PM  

deathon2legs: Who cares about Rihanna? There's another story there that says neighbors can see directly into Nigella Lawson's bathroom in her new mansion. I need pics.


I'd much rather talk about an attractive woman naked.
 
2011-08-25 05:53:18 PM  

Treygreen13: pion: I hear it will feature s, s, s, s, & m.

One thing about that song that annoys me - she says "s s s s, m m m. She has extra sadism, not enough masochism.


she enjoys torturing her fans more then she likes getting roughed up
 
2011-08-25 06:04:04 PM  

Tat'dGreaser: Rihanna is absolutely gorgeous. This sex tape should get an Oscar.


and there's room for a whole bukkake party on her fivehead
 
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