Just get married. It's like having your dick cut off.

Do they have my leg?

Swine leg!

midnite_farker: [Lon Chaney in the best performance by any actor ever]

Bah. Beat me to it.

There was something not quite right about him. He seemed ... detached.

Are we going to have to sit through another stump speech?

/why doesn't god heal amputees?

Fake one for us subby stubby!

Somaticasual: AirForceVet: Meh, amateur.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x355]

Hmm. Things it's going to take to get that image out of my head:
1. clown porn. I mean hardcore clown porn, none of that regular-pornstart-with-clown-makeup crap.
2. a full lobotomy with a liberal application of the blending probe thing.
3. a threeway where my involvement isn't limited to a restraining order and 3 screams.
4. a child quadruple amputee..

Just go back and re-read the article about the russian girl who called her mom and told her "oh god, mom, the bear is eating me."

I may be horribly sick, but I have this trainwreck feeling of being totally disgusted, but horribly fascinated at the same time. Much like watching Saw or Hostel.

How do you FAKE an amputation?
You will need a current amputee, a freshly killed corpse, duct tape, a long sleep shirt, and a saw that can cut through bone. Whatever limb that the current amputee is missing you saw off of the freshly killed corpse. You then attach the severed limb to the stump of the amputee using the duct tape. Now that the limb is attached to the amputee, put the long sleeve shirt on the amputee. Now that your patsy is prepared, set up an accident where their fake arm gets ripped off. The old "wood chipper ruse" works as well as the "arm was hanging out of the bus window" ploy.

midnite_farker

Came here for that and leaving so, so satisfied.

/method acting doesn't BEGIN to describe that role

Dag!

Cormee: [lh4.googleusercontent.com image 640x480]

Dag!

L'il brudder would like to have a word

I think it was pretty obvious that he had something up his sleeve...

/Obscurest shiat you'll see this week

WilliamLeeTwitch: How do you FAKE an amputation?
You will need a current amputee, a freshly killed corpse, duct tape, a long sleep shirt, and a saw that can cut through bone. Whatever limb that the current amputee is missing you saw off of the freshly killed corpse. You then attach the severed limb to the stump of the amputee using the duct tape. Now that the limb is attached to the amputee, put the long sleeve shirt on the amputee. Now that your patsy is prepared, set up an accident where their fake arm gets ripped off. The old "wood chipper ruse" works as well as the "arm was hanging out of the bus window" ploy.

Copied/Pasted

Ah!!
You have a woman's legs, my lord!

I'll wager those are legs that have never been sliced clean off by a falling sail, and swept into the sea before your very eyes.

altinos: [img709.imageshack.us image 462x250]

I can't believe that the first Boxing Helena reference didn't appear until page two.

cmunic8r99: Insurance money for amputations? I thought those were only flesh wounds.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 640x352]

Came for this.

Wrong Trousers: Medical language has a vocabulary and style that takes some effort for a novice to replicate, plus ensure all the necessary x-rays, lab tests, nurse, physio, occupational therapy notes are there. Could easily be a few dozen pages all told. I expect someone at an insurance company that was used to reading these types of records would pick up on this pretty quickly.

This doesn't follow at all levels with insurers. Most of my work is large Work Comp policies and we have one company that provides us with the data for claims that consistently screws up contusions and concussions. So every now and again we end up reporting a guy who gets a concussion on his elbow.

Somaticasual: Kit Fister: Just go back and re-read the article about the russian girl who called her mom and told her "oh god, mom, the bear is eating me."

I dunno. It might be hard to top the PCP-inspired "daddy ate my eyes" moment..

Not that I support thread jackery but I know, right? I had nightmares for like two weeks.

When I started reading Kit Fister's comment, I sincerely thought it was referring to the DAME article. *Shudder*

OnmyojiOmn: [i.imgur.com image 640x359]

/Obscurest shiat you'll see this week

Nothing is obscure on fark.

/Okada Yoshinori, one of Japan's 'that guys'

Watchman:





/I watch too much TV

It got better.

OregonVet: Came for the Lt. Dan reference, leaving satisfied.

I have friends who argued for months about whether or not Gary Sinise had legs after Forrest Gump came out.

Ken VeryBigLiar: Wrong Trousers: Medical language has a vocabulary and style that takes some effort for a novice to replicate, plus ensure all the necessary x-rays, lab tests, nurse, physio, occupational therapy notes are there. Could easily be a few dozen pages all told. I expect someone at an insurance company that was used to reading these types of records would pick up on this pretty quickly.

This doesn't follow at all levels with insurers. Most of my work is large Work Comp policies and we have one company that provides us with the data for claims that consistently screws up contusions and concussions. So every now and again we end up reporting a guy who gets a concussion on his elbow.

But if this is a straight cash for loss of limb clause, he's getting a cool quarter million in a single payment. Hopefully that's a motivation to pay attention.

Snarfangel: Here is what my feet looked like, before the...accident.

[www.vibeweekly.com image 500x375]
/lost three toes on each foot. It was awful.
//hot

...the hey?

That's a nice "shouldn't impact me in any seriously important ways, life is fine, but dammit, where am I supposed to find shoes that fit????" situation...

Wrong Trousers: But if this is a straight cash for loss of limb clause, he's getting a cool quarter million in a single payment. Hopefully that's a motivation to pay attention.

AD&D is one of the more nefarious lines of insurance; you practically have to lose said limb or appendage under a full moon with an Al Green song playing in the background to qualify. And sometimes the money, if small enough given the risk, gets paid out irrespective of what we can get from a decision. I had a death claim for a large national trucking company where their driver got on another driver's running board and started punching him (they'd been paying cat and mouse for many miles apparently) when the punchee started pulling away and our bright boy fell off the running board and ended up dying from a sub-dermal hematoma. Clear case of frolic and detour, do not pass go do not collect $200, right? Nope, we paid quite a bit of money to make sure we wouldn't set the precedent for whether road rage could be covered with Work Comp.

It's been a while since there's been a good ole stump thread.

Ken VeryBigLiar: AD&D is one of the more nefarious lines of insurance; you practically have to lose said limb or appendage under a full moon with an Al Green song playing in the background to qualify.

Not to mention how hard it is to find a priest who can cast Raise Dead.

Hector Remarkable: It's been a while since there's been a good ole stump thread.

Therion: ask this guy -

[img836.imageshack.us image 500x375]

Beat me to it!

Hack Patooey: Ask these guys

[cdn.trendhunterstatic.com image 239x298]

Man- now I have to go and remember these guys.

/Farking body modification, how does it work?

euphonicnight: [media.tumblr.com image 500x284]

And THAT is why you never try to steal money from insurance companies

Came for this, leaving satisfied and wiser about why shouldn't do X.