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(Mother Nature Network)   The Great Drought of 2011 has cost Texas $5.2 billion. This will never happen if Gov. Perry was president. Because then he'd control the weather   (mnn.com) divider line 312
    More: Interesting, Texas, droughts  
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3435 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Aug 2011 at 9:35 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-08-19 09:20:48 AM  
This is Rick Perry's Opposite of Katrina.
 
2011-08-19 09:25:10 AM  
I thought they'd prayed the drought away

/no?
 
2011-08-19 09:37:18 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I thought they'd prayed the drought away

/no?


This- his best bud God would take of it.
 
2011-08-19 09:37:44 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: /no?


God is testing their faith, duh.
 
2011-08-19 09:39:00 AM  
Not believing in global warming is like not believing in thermometers.

/Just sayin'.
//We can debate why for days. But let's not.
 
2011-08-19 09:39:03 AM  
What does politics have to do with drought?
 
2011-08-19 09:39:26 AM  
Stick to a tense.
 
2011-08-19 09:40:23 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I thought they'd prayed the drought away

/no?


Just think how much worse things could have been if he didn't pray for intervention. I bet the damage and deaths would have been an order of magnitude greater had he not ask for god's help.
 
2011-08-19 09:41:07 AM  
Buy more SUV's and pray harder.
 
2011-08-19 09:41:17 AM  
Can't you just pray the drought away you do teh ghey?
 
2011-08-19 09:41:38 AM  
I feel for Texas, lately it's been dry as a salt-mine around my place in NY too.

Just yesterday I had to pay 55 for an eighth of brown dirtweed to get me through the weekend.

I pray to FSM that the drought ends soon.....I mean we can't hold out much longer.
 
2011-08-19 09:42:57 AM  

Overfiend: What does politics have to do with drought?

 
2011-08-19 09:43:23 AM  
A Texas Rain Gauge

ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2011-08-19 09:43:50 AM  
"Scotty!!! I need more prayer!"
"I'm on my knees givin' it all we got, captain!"
"More prayer, damnit!"
"We can't pray any harder, captain! Our rosaries can't take the strain! She'll come apart at the seams!"
 
2011-08-19 09:44:55 AM  
Have we tried asking God yet, Rick...?
 
2011-08-19 09:45:24 AM  
Pretend the drought is gay and call in Marcus Bachmann to pray the gay away.
 
2011-08-19 09:46:00 AM  

Overfiend: What does politics have to do with drought?


Because Dumbass McPerry thinks the correct response is to pray.
 
2011-08-19 09:46:07 AM  
Can we please let them secede now, before the bills hit the rest of America?
 
2011-08-19 09:48:15 AM  
No rain? That's because there were some Texans who weren't praying to JAY-ZUSS loudly enough.

Yes, it wasn't 100% of Texans praying. God demands all or nothing!

Hunt them down! Burn them at the stake! Prove to God that no one is more Jeebussy than Texans!
 
2011-08-19 09:50:15 AM  
Maybe shoot at the sky? Guns solve everything.
 
2011-08-19 09:50:45 AM  
Alright people.. who let a democrat move into Texas?
 
2011-08-19 09:51:56 AM  

protectyourlimbs: Alright people.. who let a democrat move into Texas?


He snuck in while everyone was at church.
 
2011-08-19 09:52:07 AM  
It has been August weather here since June. Most of my neighbors have pretty much given up on laws and gardens this year. Even with a sprinkler system it is a real mess keeping up with watering. I have to get up early and hand water specific shrubs, trees and parts of the lawn and I feel I am just barely getting by.
 
2011-08-19 09:52:21 AM  
More tax cuts for rich Texans?
 
2011-08-19 09:52:28 AM  
This will never happen if Gov. Perry was president. Because then he'd control the weather


apparently he has a time machine too.

(verb tense, how does it work?)
 
2011-08-19 09:52:59 AM  
Everything is bigger in Texas, even the droughts. Eventually they'll get a larger than life amount of rain and things will be right again.
 
2011-08-19 09:53:43 AM  

Pro Zack: This will never happen if Gov. Perry was president. Because then he'd control the weather


apparently he has a time machine too.

(verb tense, how does it work?)


You say these words, but you claim to be from Tennessee.....wwwhhyyyy?
 
2011-08-19 09:54:02 AM  

Worst.Fark handle. ever.: That's because there were some Texans who weren't praying to JAY-ZUSS loudly enough.


I was praying to David Koresh Christ but then I remembered our state killed him, so he's no help.
 
2011-08-19 09:54:30 AM  
I'm torn between Perry's magic control over the weather and Bachmann's magic control over oil prices.
 
2011-08-19 09:55:03 AM  

Overfiend: What does politics have to do with drought?


This is fark. The idea is to bash, religion, Texas, Perry, republicans, or all of these. It does not matter take you pick.
 
2011-08-19 09:55:04 AM  

LindLTaylor: It has been August weather here since June. Most of my neighbors have pretty much given up on laws and gardens this year. Even with a sprinkler system it is a real mess keeping up with watering. I have to get up early and hand water specific shrubs, trees and parts of the lawn and I feel I am just barely getting by.


So your response to a drought is to water the lawn. Solid.
 
2011-08-19 09:55:07 AM  
Another phoney tough guy from Texas spewing one liners and nonsense.

"There is no problem violence and superstition can't solve!!!!!"

Has America learned it's lesson yet? Only time will tell.
 
2011-08-19 09:55:21 AM  

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired: God is testing their faith, duh.


www.fanboy.com
God created Texas to test the faithful.
 
2011-08-19 09:55:46 AM  
Well, at least he raided $150 million from the fund that would have let poor people have a little air conditioning in the 100+ temps.

In a flood, he'd be busy putting holes in the boats that rescue the poor.
 
2011-08-19 09:55:49 AM  
He's going to nationalize the weather? Farking commie.
 
2011-08-19 09:55:58 AM  
George Soros?
 
2011-08-19 09:56:16 AM  
Snark aside, it's been terrible. We've still got less than 2 inches of rain on the Llano Estacado this year. The dryland cotton never got planted and the irrigated looks like dryland in a bad year. Hay costs like crazy. It's literally been drier than any year of the Dust Bowl era.

Unfortunately for me, that means my business is booming.
 
2011-08-19 09:57:28 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I thought they'd prayed the drought away

/no?


He did, but America is so full of sinners and has a colored president, God is still punishing Texas.
 
2011-08-19 10:00:03 AM  
Interesting aside: a GIS for "pray for rain" yields some NSFW results... I'd hit the chick with the umbrella...
 
2011-08-19 10:00:13 AM  

fatandolder: Overfiend: What does politics have to do with drought?

This is fark. The idea is to bash, religion, Texas, Perry, republicans, or all of these. It does not matter take you pick.


I have to admit that this is a particularly stunning example of this.
 
2011-08-19 10:00:33 AM  

fatandolder: Overfiend: What does politics have to do with drought?

This is fark. The idea is to bash, religion, Texas, Perry, republicans, or all of these. It does not matter take you pick.


We like the low hanging fruit here and the trees you listed provide more bounty than we could ever harvest. If these trees bore less fruit the extra work would lead us to pick other targets. Like Florida and HOAs. ;)
 
2011-08-19 10:03:56 AM  
Can you build a weather-controlling device with minimum wage labor? Oh well, back to praying.
 
2011-08-19 10:05:01 AM  

BunkoSquad: Can we please let them secede now, before the bills hit the rest of America?


what? Like the Big Dig is costing the rest of the nation?
 
2011-08-19 10:05:20 AM  

EyeballKid: Can you build a weather-controlling device with minimum wage labor? Oh well, back to praying.


no. But you could use Mexican scientists.
 
2011-08-19 10:07:26 AM  

fatandolder: Overfiend: What does politics have to do with drought?

This is fark. The idea is to bash, religion, Texas, Perry, republicans, or all of these. It does not matter take you pick.


Actually, as many people in this thread have stated (you would see if you bothered to read it before putting on your butthurt pants), the theme behind this bashing is to thoroughly mock Perry for his recent public exploits of encouraging his constituents to "pray the drought away". But, hey, don't let context get in the way of your pouting. Sniff sniff, why is Fark always so mean to Republicans? :(
 
2011-08-19 10:08:22 AM  
"The ACLU has got to take a lot of blame for this. And I know I'll hear from them for this, but throwing God...successfully with the help of the federal court system...throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools, the abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked and when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad...I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America...I point the finger in their face and say you helped this happen."
 
2011-08-19 10:09:50 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I thought they'd prayed the drought away

/no?


They did, and the Almighty God reached down from the heavens, clenching in his right hand a document upon which was written - the solution for the drought, the meaning of life and a map to the secret place where the clothes dryer transports all of those missing socks......

But since it was all just a political move to gain traction prior to announcing candidacy, and the assholes that showed up for the event gave up on God years ago... God couldn't figure out which one should receive this righteous endowment, and chose instead to toss it toward the sun, adding just a minute amount of tender to stoke that massive ball of fire, extending the the drought that started this whole sequence of events.
 
2011-08-19 10:11:04 AM  

Overfiend: What does politics have to do with drought?


Because the Government CAN and DOES control weather this IS FACT>

The question is, is it true the Government uses this to control population i.e. flooding out areas wanted for their use oil production, creating droughts, etc..then paying to relocate those people (doing it this way because telling to just pack up and leave would so not work out).

In the far east a drought area about 100 miles from another area with good rain fall was seeded for rain making the other turn into a drought area.

In China 2 yeas ago they seeded and totally messed up, freezing a large city out so badly that it froze the electric lines into snapping and nothing was able to go in or out for 3 weeks.
 
2011-08-19 10:12:35 AM  

wyltoknow: fatandolder: Overfiend: What does politics have to do with drought?

This is fark. The idea is to bash, religion, Texas, Perry, republicans, or all of these. It does not matter take you pick.

Actually, as many people in this thread have stated (you would see if you bothered to read it before putting on your butthurt pants), the theme behind this bashing is to thoroughly mock Perry for his recent public exploits of encouraging his constituents to "pray the drought away". But, hey, don't let context get in the way of your pouting. Sniff sniff, why is Fark always so mean to Republicans? :(


Because it has a very real and definite liberal bias, and any time someone comes from a conservative standpoint, they're mocked?

Dave
 
2011-08-19 10:13:33 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Maybe shoot at the sky? Guns solve everything.



If the bullets are made out of nickel then it might just work.
 
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