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(USA Today)   That creepy Burger King guy --- let's pretend he never existed   (usatoday.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Burger King, Ronald McDonald, Cheesecake Factory, Technomic, fast foods, king  
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24090 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Aug 2011 at 4:53 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



173 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2011-08-18 11:35:38 PM  
www.sable-pro.net
 
2011-08-18 11:39:36 PM  
www.fatwallet.com

so it was all just a bad dream.
 
2011-08-18 11:43:39 PM  
oddculture.com

But here's internet proof he existed!
 
2011-08-18 11:57:49 PM  
Awwww... Hands down my favorite corporate mascot since good ol' Joe Isuzu.
 
2011-08-19 12:16:02 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: [www.sable-pro.net image 438x237]


came here for this, leaving satisfied.
 
2011-08-19 12:25:57 AM  
"Call it the Whole Foods effect," says Ron Paul, president of consulting firm Technomic.

You total failure, subby.
 
2011-08-19 12:42:27 AM  
i.imgur.com
Obey.
 
2011-08-19 12:52:18 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2011-08-19 01:24:04 AM  
"Call it the Whole Foods effect," says Ron Paul, president of consulting firm Technomic

Busy guy.
 
2011-08-19 02:20:13 AM  
"People want a reason to go back to Burger King,"

Not really. Although at least BK doesn't have the worst fries anymore after Wendy's ruined theirs.
 
2011-08-19 03:05:30 AM  

Somacandra: [upload.wikimedia.org image 256x367]


Man, memories. Totally got through at least 2 levels!
 
2011-08-19 05:00:41 AM  

gameshowhost: "Call it the Whole Foods effect," says Ron Paul, president of consulting firm Technomic.

You total failure, subby.


I see this has been covered. Carry on.
 
2011-08-19 05:06:18 AM  
I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.
 
2011-08-19 05:07:29 AM  
My first job, at 15, was at Burger King. I had to throw out a lot of the Herb advertising stuff.

/CSB
//I still refuse to eat at Burger King, 25 years on
 
2011-08-19 05:11:25 AM  
On the bright side, this gives him plenty of time to have some more adventures in Cyrodiil (new window).
 
2011-08-19 05:12:39 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: home made mayonnaise


That's not mayonnaise...
 
2011-08-19 05:13:51 AM  
Instead of changing the burger to add even more fat (avocados have a high fat content) maybe they could focus on teaching english to the employees. If the restaurant is completely staffed with third world illegals guess what the food quality will be like.
 
2011-08-19 05:16:15 AM  
FTA: "In the first of many steps to reinvent itself over the next year, the struggling fast-feeder Friday will announce that it's dethroning the creepy King character - and other wacky, teen-targeting stuff - and refocusing on a customer it had all but forgotten: Mom".

innergoat.modacity.net
 
2011-08-19 05:20:31 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


do you like the smell of your own farts too?
 
#2 [TotalFark]
2011-08-19 05:24:36 AM  
Good! Now we can get back to normal...
img825.imageshack.usimg571.imageshack.us
img856.imageshack.usimg7.imageshack.us
img62.imageshack.us

/ Who wouldn't want a Whopper at this point?
 
2011-08-19 05:27:10 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


Nice. Well done.
 
2011-08-19 05:27:49 AM  
A farking California Whopper with guacamole on it? That better be a worldwide release.
 
2011-08-19 05:32:46 AM  

rprygro: A farking California Whopper with guacamole on it? That better be a worldwide release.


Knowing BK, it will probably be reconstituted green wall spackling with MSG.
 
2011-08-19 05:34:23 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


Pshh... I ate at those places before they were even in buildings.
 
2011-08-19 05:34:46 AM  
i dunno what a Burger King is, but he looks like a pædophile and better not come anywhere near my daughter or i'm a-gonna knock that crown off his smarmy plasticky head
 
2011-08-19 05:35:43 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


Yeah, but obviously you still support torture because the cattle aren't free-range that were fed organically grown grains. You sicken me.
 
2011-08-19 05:36:47 AM  
Guacamole from Burger King is not something I ever want to try.
 
2011-08-19 05:39:35 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


I simply cannot eat Burger King.. makes me sick as hell (an X wanted to eat there and tried various places, various things they make, EVERYTHING they serve makes me sick). Occasionally eat Wendy's $4 area chicken sandwich and McDonald's regular (single) cheeseburger. But, I agree, my favorite is a hometown place.. burgers are made from real hamburger, not shipped in via pre-made patties.. hot dog sauce is made from scratch.. soups.. fries, onion rings. Rarely eat fast food anymore.. maybe one to two times a month max. It usually winds up being the hometown place 90% of the time (just wish they made pizza lol)
 
2011-08-19 05:40:29 AM  

#2: / Who wouldn't want a Whopper at this point?


Me.

I'd rather have a double quarter pounder with cheese and bacon.
 
2011-08-19 05:44:35 AM  
How tellingly sad it is about our species that whether or not a marketing scheme is in play determines if we'll decide to eat at an establishment.

(And is it just me, or are Whoppers about 2/3 the size they were in 1985?)
 
2011-08-19 05:45:30 AM  
I live near In n Out, so I'm getting a kick.....
 
2011-08-19 05:47:06 AM  
gifsforum.com
 
2011-08-19 05:48:42 AM  

meatofmystery: I live near In n Out, so I'm getting a kick.....


STFU DONNIE
 
2011-08-19 05:48:59 AM  
I'm sorry, but i've always wanted to unsee that thing...
 
2011-08-19 05:50:44 AM  
Here's how you get the customers back:


farm6.static.flickr.com

/hot
 
2011-08-19 05:53:16 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


If you won't I will. Lenny's and Burger Factory.
 
2011-08-19 05:55:10 AM  

Freschel: AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.

If you won't I will. Lenny's and Burger Factory.


LOL. You still going there?
 
2011-08-19 05:56:09 AM  

TheMega: AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.

I simply cannot eat Burger King.. makes me sick as hell (an X wanted to eat there and tried various places, various things they make, EVERYTHING they serve makes me sick). Occasionally eat Wendy's $4 area chicken sandwich and McDonald's regular (single) cheeseburger. But, I agree, my favorite is a hometown place.. burgers are made from real hamburger, not shipped in via pre-made patties.. hot dog sauce is made from scratch.. soups.. fries, onion rings. Rarely eat fast food anymore.. maybe one to two times a month max. It usually winds up being the hometown place 90% of the time (just wish they made pizza lol)


... You do know he was just trolling using the same lame crap hipsters spew...right?
 
2011-08-19 05:59:10 AM  
Still won't make me eat a Whopper. Not that I wouldn't, since living in Europe it's surprising how much you miss just something as simple as a fast food burger when you don't have access to it anymore. Spain has Burger King, but after the exchange rate a Whopper cost me about $8 without fries or a drink.

That's too much for even a fatty like me.
 
2011-08-19 06:02:02 AM  

Matthew Keene: rprygro: A farking California Whopper with guacamole on it? That better be a worldwide release.

Knowing BK, it will probably be reconstituted green wall spackling with MSG.


Close

warehouse.carlh.com
 
2011-08-19 06:06:45 AM  
People don't go to fast food places based on the menu's healthiness factor.

Yet, no fast food executive seems to be able to comprehend this,
 
2011-08-19 06:07:51 AM  
On a side note, I find it amusing that anything can be made "Californian" by adding guacamole or avocado.
 
2011-08-19 06:10:33 AM  
Am I the only person who doesn't like guacamoke and avocado? Besides giving me the squirts it's just mush and bland.
 
2011-08-19 06:13:09 AM  

Candygram for Mongo: Here's how you get the customers back:


[farm6.static.flickr.com image 389x500]

/hot


I remember the greasy processed chicken pecker fries and the Coq Roq campaign
adland.tv
They had this creepy chicken head Slipknot cover band and were trying to come off all nasty and edgy.
www.anniemayhem.com

img264.imageshack.us
Ding Fries are done.
 
2011-08-19 06:13:52 AM  
Shadowknight 2011-08-19 05:59:10 AM
Still won't make me eat a Whopper. Not that I wouldn't, since living in Europe it's surprising how much you miss just something as simple as a fast food burger when you don't have access to it anymore. Spain has Burger King, but after the exchange rate a Whopper cost me about $8 without fries or a drink.

That's too much for even a fatty like me.


Same here in China in terms of craving a cheapo hamburger. It's either a really pricey hamburger at a restaurant (which really couldnt hold a candle to a burger at a decent diner in the US) or Mcdonalds.

I know all you burger snobs with your In-n-outs, Fuddruckers, etc. will scoff, but Burger King coming out to Beijing or increasing its presence in Hong Kong is great. While BK isn't really a good burger its far better than McDs.

Thankfully nowhere near the 8buck price paid in Europe. Yeah, I would never budge on that.
 
2011-08-19 06:15:20 AM  

Disgruntled Goat: People don't go to fast food places based on the menu's healthiness factor.

Yet, no fast food executive seems to be able to comprehend this,


Except for all the people that do. Which is why companies advertising "freshness" and "healthy" are doing better business than those that don't. Which is the reason Burger King is responding to this market trend by revamping their image.
 
2011-08-19 06:25:13 AM  
He was the one of the few that I liked.
 
2011-08-19 06:27:00 AM  

bahknee: On a side note, I find it amusing that anything can be made "Californian" by adding guacamole or avocado.


www.freakingnews.com

Don't be hating on Calaveras County
 
2011-08-19 06:28:10 AM  
My mom is vegetarian, so that's not far enough for her.

Main reason I don't go to Burger King is that the only location in the area is not between work and home. Still, when I do go there, it doesn't seem to measure up to what I remember 12-14 years ago.
 
2011-08-19 06:31:08 AM  
The true reason I never go to the Burger King near my place: I've seen their semi retarded waitstaff drop the fry basket on the floor and drop it back in the oil without a second glance, I've seen them bang the stacks of frozen patties on the floor to separate them before cooking, watched them handle the sandwich ingredients with their bare palms and fingers, and I watched a guy stop mopping the floors and walk behind the counter to pitch in cooking without any thought to washing his hands. This is what I could see during a couple of visits, maybe fifteen total minutes in the store. This is what I could see from the customer wait line. Imagine what's going on in the back where customers can't see.

No fast food for me anymore, thanks.
 
2011-08-19 06:33:51 AM  
Creepy Burger King guy is right- that has to be one of the most WTF? moments in advertising. Other than bad campaigns, BK advertising has been unremarkable for years.
 
2011-08-19 06:39:49 AM  
Stopped at BK the other day to get a milkshake, since my favorite place was closed.

Their new milkshakes are smaller, have enough whipped topping to look like a homemade lemon meringue pie, and costs the same as the former larger one.

I asked the manager about it. She explained these were the new products. She couldn't hide being embarrassed. I actually felt bad for her.

Thank God for Burger Hut.
 
2011-08-19 06:40:51 AM  
FTA: "When it comes to matters of perceived fast-food quality, Burger King not only lags behind McDonald's but Subway and even KFC, says Robert Passikoff, president of Brand Keys, which surveys consumers on preferences.
"There was a time when price value was king," says Passikoff. "Now, healthy choice and quality drive the category.""


Wait. What? I've always found Burger King provide a much higher quality, better taste, and seemingly healthier food than McDonalds, KFC, etc. Burger King has been consistently better regardless of where I've lived (Washington, Indiana, Flordia, Texas).. so this scoring of having them below McDonalds? Jeeze. Can it get any worse than McDonalds? Well, yeah I guess in one case it can: The KFC near 272nd St. in Federal Way, WA. HORRIBLE place. Decided to give KFC a shot after about 7 years and I regret the single effort.


Fast food sucks, just buy it and make it. If you're in a hurry or on the road then it's a different story.. but if you're at home and going to fast food for a meal then there's something wrong with your routine.
 
2011-08-19 06:41:30 AM  
i102.photobucket.com
 
2011-08-19 06:46:16 AM  
Anybody remember the ultra-short-lived "BKTV" campaign from the early '90s? Burger King attempted to revamp its image with "dinner baskets," table service, and complimentary popcorn to munch on while you waited at your table for your food. It was a bad idea. I was living in Iowa at the time, which was (and maybe still is) a test market area for Burger King, and gave one of their early run-throughs of this concept a try. It was very uncomfortable dining experience. You'd sit down, and some pimply-faced kid would come to your table, give you some popcorn, explain about the burger baskets and take your order. It was just embarrassing for everyone involved. You felt bad for the kid, bad for treating a $3 meal like a fine dinning experience, the kid was embarrassed. It was bad all the way around. I think when they finally rolled it out beyond Iowa, they'd done away with the ordering at your table part, but I don't think it lasted longer than a month.

The King was creepy, but having a crap restaurant like BK putting on airs and pretending to be a dining experience was even worse.

I also remember, during the "Where's Herb" campaign, stopping at a BK on the way back from a school field trip. There was some guy eating in the restaurant who looked vaguely like Herb, and all the kids kept pestering him over and over again that he had to just grab what was left of his meal, run out of the restaurant, and go tearing out of the parking lot. Then we all had to sit through a lecture on the bus about proper behavior, but I figured it was Madison Avenue's fault, not mine.
 
2011-08-19 06:48:58 AM  
Now I know what Im going to be for All Hallow's Eve
 
2011-08-19 06:51:47 AM  

bahknee: On a side note, I find it amusing that anything can be made "Californian" by adding guacamole or avocado.


Don't forget to make it "Hawaiian" just by adding pineapple.
 
2011-08-19 06:54:23 AM  

Apocalyptotryptophan: Now I know what Im going to be for All Hallow's Eve


Me too. Drunk ...with a tummy ache from eating too much candy.
 
2011-08-19 06:56:26 AM  

gameshowhost: "Call it the Whole Foods effect," says Ron Paul, president of consulting firm Technomic.

You total failure, subby.


Pshh... Everyone knows Ron Paul will never be President of anything...
 
2011-08-19 06:58:35 AM  
lh6.ggpht.com

Hey, at least they're not going with the public anal search and veggie porn mag schtick again.

Click here (new window) to see it in its full glory.
 
2011-08-19 06:58:42 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Anybody remember the ultra-short-lived "BKTV" campaign from the early '90s? Burger King attempted to revamp its image with "dinner baskets," table service, and complimentary popcorn to munch on while you waited at your table for your food. It was a bad idea. I was living in Iowa at the time, which was (and maybe still is) a test market area for Burger King, and gave one of their early run-throughs of this concept a try. It was very uncomfortable dining experience. You'd sit down, and some pimply-faced kid would come to your table, give you some popcorn, explain about the burger baskets and take your order. It was just embarrassing for everyone involved. You felt bad for the kid, bad for treating a $3 meal like a fine dinning experience, the kid was embarrassed. It was bad all the way around. I think when they finally rolled it out beyond Iowa, they'd done away with the ordering at your table part, but I don't think it lasted longer than a month.

The King was creepy, but having a crap restaurant like BK putting on airs and pretending to be a dining experience was even worse.



It was totally XTREME because Dan Cortese was involved.

Link (new window)
 
2011-08-19 07:00:04 AM  

Krom: AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.

Yeah, but obviously you still support torture because the cattle aren't free-range that were fed organically grown grains. You sicken me.


Cattle? They make tofu burgers, you inhuman monster.
 
2011-08-19 07:03:22 AM  
They used to have BK whoppers for a buck apiece on certain evenings back in the early 90's.

That was awesome.

Oh my cardiovascular system... ouch.
 
2011-08-19 07:05:15 AM  
Home cooked is my favorite. I sat in view of the chip storage bin at a Mexican restaurant, watched the waiter take a half-eaten basket of chips and dump them back in. I can only wonder what went on in the back.
 
2011-08-19 07:05:38 AM  
SUX, finally get a decent paying job aaaand, some moron in marketing sends me a pink slip.
This was supposed to be a solid career move.
Jerks

not really, but it's just one more poor anonymous SOB outta work. Like everyone else . . .
 
2011-08-19 07:09:59 AM  

Zombalupagus: [lh6.ggpht.com image 602x393]

Hey, at least they're not going with the public anal search and veggie porn mag schtick again.

Click here (new window) to see it in its full glory.


That looks suspiciously like Nathan Mazur's work.
 
2011-08-19 07:18:36 AM  
Dahnkster: They had this creepy chicken head Slipknot cover band and were trying to come off all nasty and edgy.

actually one of the Coq Roq costumes looked like a straight up rip off of what Skinny Puppy's Nivek Ogre had worn onstage
 
2011-08-19 07:19:49 AM  
kings.ws
They took our jobs!
 
2011-08-19 07:26:45 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


I bet you don't own a TV, you only shop at Whole Foods, drink wheat grass smoothies, and your car is a Nissian Leaf, though you still bike everywhere when you can, to avoid having to charge it and cause further rape to mother earth.

/obvious troll is obvious
 
2011-08-19 07:28:35 AM  
Ten years ago, I thought the Whopper was the best burger out there, certainly for the money. Now they're overpriced and they're made so poorly it looks like someone was playing football with it before I got it. Haven't been to one in years.
 
2011-08-19 07:31:07 AM  

nicoffeine: AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.

Pshh... I ate at those places before they were even in buildings.


Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the pizza?
He ate it before it was cool.
 
2011-08-19 07:31:56 AM  

likesass: Home cooked is my favorite. I sat in view of the chip storage bin at a Mexican restaurant, watched the waiter take a half-eaten basket of chips and dump them back in. I can only wonder what went on in the back.


Probably involved someone's sister and a $20 bill.
 
182
2011-08-19 07:32:51 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


heh....homemade mayonnaise.
 
2011-08-19 07:38:06 AM  

Matthew Keene: rprygro: A farking California Whopper with guacamole on it? That better be a worldwide release.

Knowing BK, it will probably be reconstituted green wall spackling with MSG.


This. Oh, so much this.

The trouble with mass produced guacamole anywhere (Jimmy John's has the same issue) is that avocados oxidize in a heartbeat - turning all brown and nasty. In order to prevent that for mass consumption they have to pump it full of chemicals. And it invariably tastes gross.

What I love about BK is their "dinner for breakfast" menu. Up until recently I worked nights and when I get off @ 7am after working all night, I don't want breakfast. I want dinner. I could grab a whopper on the way home and often did.
 
2011-08-19 07:38:33 AM  

MythDragon: Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the pizza?
He ate it before it was cool.


I LOLed.
 
2011-08-19 07:45:08 AM  
creepyswampthing: If the restaurant is completely staffed with third world illegals guess what the food quality will be like.

According to Tony Bourdain, that's pretty much how every restaurant kitchen in New York is staffed, so I guess it works out okay.
 
2011-08-19 07:46:19 AM  
Bring back Burger Chef? It's all but disappeared from the world now.
 
2011-08-19 07:47:52 AM  

bahknee: On a side note, I find it amusing that anything can be made "Californian" by adding guacamole or avocado.


Great, now Tijuana is going to be crawling with messicans caked with green slime.
 
2011-08-19 07:50:09 AM  

Blink: Bring back Burger Chef? It's all but disappeared from the world now.


I liked them better than McDonalds as a kid, and was just starting to enjoy their adult food when they all shut down and sold all their locations to this Hardees company I'd never heard of.
 
2011-08-19 07:52:07 AM  
BK is the only large fast food chain I go to. I needs me that chicken sammich now and then. And I like the king, goddamnit.
 
2011-08-19 08:05:32 AM  

Krom: Am I the only person who doesn't like guacamoke and avocado? Besides giving me the squirts it's just mush and bland.


Nope. I never liked the taste of guacamole or avocado, either, but it's Burger King itself that affects my GI tract.

I've gotten food poisoning from Burger King twice. Each incident's kept me away for about ten years. It always started when that Burger King-y taste sensation just wouldn't go away, my stomach would get that fifty pounds of lead feeling after an hour or two, it would get worse and I'd spend the next day sick in bed. Just the idea of eating a Whopper is unappetizing after all that.
 
2011-08-19 08:12:36 AM  
bradlaidman.com
If you work in sales or marketing, kill yourself.

\Hotter than Bill's corpse
 
2011-08-19 08:13:38 AM  
If they'd kept the Burger King looking like this:

courtney9.typepad.com

They wouldn't have had the image problem.
 
2011-08-19 08:17:19 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


I never use the Internet.
 
2011-08-19 08:18:13 AM  

SirEattonHogg: They used to have BK whoppers for a buck apiece on certain evenings back in the early 90's.

That was awesome.

Oh my cardiovascular system... ouch.


They had them for a buck all the time at the Burger Kings in California in the 90's, man as a 20 something in a crappy job they were heaven. I practically lived off dollar menus back then.
 
2011-08-19 08:20:14 AM  

Ow My Balls: (And is it just me, or are Whoppers about 2/3 the size they were in 1985?)


They're the same size. You're just 1/3 larger.
you want fries with that?
 
2011-08-19 08:20:38 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


Just google "Red Robin". They're all over the place.

You're welcome.
 
2011-08-19 08:22:38 AM  
Which one? there are so many
 
2011-08-19 08:30:03 AM  

blackheart666: AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.

Just google "Red Robin". They're all over the place.

You're welcome.


Yeah, then you can get an $8 burger in the states; no need to go to Europe. Great burgers, but 'spensive.

/still likes Waffle House and DQ burgers for fast food
 
2011-08-19 08:31:18 AM  
does anyone else rememnber the super creepy BK mersh from about 10 years ago, of a shlumpy, nerdy, roly poly guy walking in a cubicle farm, seeing a discarded burger wrapper in the trash, then surreptitiously seeing if anyone was around, then retrieving the wrapper, hungrily inhaling its aroma, then this hot gal comes by, catches him sniffing the wrapper, and she goes, "dude. that is NOT COOL. are you sniffing my wrapper?" he goes, "no." she goes, "that is GROSS. You are not cool."

geee no symbolism there.


weirdest ad ever.
 
2011-08-19 08:31:55 AM  
Looks like someone's troll was very successful - lots of bites.

/ burger snobbery is cool, right?
 
2011-08-19 08:36:11 AM  
has burger king ever had a successful ad campaign? Hootie, the creepy king, Herb. All crap.
 
2011-08-19 08:36:34 AM  
I've never figured out how to link to animated gifs, so I'll just leave this (SFW)
 
2011-08-19 08:39:51 AM  
Well, guess it's time to keep him alive, in a new series of meme's.

My idea...Pedoking.
 
2011-08-19 08:40:48 AM  
Thanks, Obama!
 
2011-08-19 08:48:12 AM  

TheMega: I simply cannot eat Burger King.. makes me sick as hell


Me too. I used to like BK better than the others, years ago. Somewhere along the line they changed their meat or oil or something and now I have to run to the bathroom with gastrointestinal distress within 30 minutes of eating a Whopper. It really doesn't taste good anymore either.
The only place that hurts my insides worse is Hardee's.

Yet I can handle any Mexican food you put in front of me. Strange.
 
2011-08-19 08:48:26 AM  
first an angry whopper with jalapenos and now guacamole? sounds like they're catering to the Mexicans more than Mom.
 
2011-08-19 08:49:09 AM  

denyall: blackheart666: AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.

Just google "Red Robin". They're all over the place.

You're welcome.

Yeah, then you can get an $8 burger in the states; no need to go to Europe. Great burgers, but 'spensive.

/still likes Waffle House and DQ burgers for fast food


Red Robin is cheap compared to here my group usually goes. $150 check for 4 at the Dogfish Brewpub most times.

Just saying.
 
2011-08-19 08:52:11 AM  

rickythepenguin: does anyone else rememnber the super creepy BK mersh from about 10 years ago, of a shlumpy, nerdy, roly poly guy walking in a cubicle farm, seeing a discarded burger wrapper in the trash, then surreptitiously seeing if anyone was around, then retrieving the wrapper, hungrily inhaling its aroma, then this hot gal comes by, catches him sniffing the wrapper, and she goes, "dude. that is NOT COOL. are you sniffing my wrapper?" he goes, "no." she goes, "that is GROSS. You are not cool."



bahhahahahhahahah i hadn't seent his in years....aint' the internet great? (new window)
 
2011-08-19 08:55:12 AM  
A burger thread that still hasn't degenerated into a Five Guys vs. In-n-Out flamewar? Never thought I'd see the day.....
 
2011-08-19 08:55:18 AM  

ReverendJasen: TheMega: I simply cannot eat Burger King.. makes me sick as hell

Me too. I used to like BK better than the others, years ago. Somewhere along the line they changed their meat or oil or something and now I have to run to the bathroom with gastrointestinal distress within 30 minutes of eating a Whopper. It really doesn't taste good anymore either.
The only place that hurts my insides worse is Hardee's.

Yet I can handle any Mexican food you put in front of me. Strange.


same here. it's bad news for my system eating from there. And I used to love their food.
 
2011-08-19 08:55:49 AM  

Rubber Biscuit: The true reason I never go to the Burger King near my place: I've seen their semi retarded waitstaff drop the fry basket on the floor and drop it back in the oil without a second glance, I've seen them bang the stacks of frozen patties on the floor to separate them before cooking, watched them handle the sandwich ingredients with their bare palms and fingers, and I watched a guy stop mopping the floors and walk behind the counter to pitch in cooking without any thought to washing his hands. This is what I could see during a couple of visits, maybe fifteen total minutes in the store. This is what I could see from the customer wait line. Imagine what's going on in the back where customers can't see.

No fast food for me anymore, thanks.


A friend of mine was telling me he went through a Captain D's drive through. Got to the window, paid for his meal and was waiting while watching the kitchen. A guy was digging through the trash, then went over a put his meal together without washing his hands. He hands him the meal and my friend promptly asks for his money back. The kid's explaination was that he used his left hand to do the trash and only used his right to prepare the meal. He got his money back & went somewhere else.
 
2011-08-19 08:59:48 AM  

TheMega: I simply cannot eat Burger King.. makes me sick as hell


phaseolus: I've gotten food poisoning from Burger King twice.


ReverendJasen: ... now I have to run to the bathroom with gastrointestinal distress within 30 minutes of eating a Whopper.



Interesting ... Anyone else have this problem? I can't remember any other fast food chain we've discussed that's made Farkers physically ill.
 
2011-08-19 09:03:24 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: A burger thread that still hasn't degenerated into a Five Guys vs. In-n-Out flamewar? Never thought I'd see the day.....


Which should tell you something about how awful Burger King's mascot was.
 
2011-08-19 09:03:52 AM  

phaseolus: TheMega: I simply cannot eat Burger King.. makes me sick as hell

phaseolus: I've gotten food poisoning from Burger King twice.

ReverendJasen: ... now I have to run to the bathroom with gastrointestinal distress within 30 minutes of eating a Whopper.


Interesting ... Anyone else have this problem? I can't remember any other fast food chain we've discussed that's made Farkers physically ill.


McDonalds does that for me. They're the only one with decent fries now (fark you wendys) but they kill my stomach.

Oh well. Think its Qdoba tonight at work.
 
2011-08-19 09:06:12 AM  
Burger King breakfast sandwiches make me sick. They use WAY too much salt. Love those french toast sticks though.
 
2011-08-19 09:10:36 AM  
Never liked BK. It is, and always was, my last choice for fast food.

5 Guys FTW.
 
2011-08-19 09:11:57 AM  
The king will live on in Oblivion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fxVeAVl2I8 (new window)
 
2011-08-19 09:14:36 AM  
I almost never eat at fast food places (maybe twice a year), but the local Burger King sent around coupons, buy one get one free. So when we went to town we stopped in to have lunch there. The first time wasn't too bad, a whopper. We got french fries too, but they were terrible, so we took them home and fed them to the dogs. The second time we tried their chicken sandwich. I took a bite and it was terrible, almost all fried bread with no chicken taste whatsoever. Mrs varmitydog wouldn't eat hers either, so the dogs got both sandwiches. Even going in to take advantage of a special we got ripped off. We won't be going back.

If Burger King wants to do something to improve their business, they should look at the quality of the food they put out, not the advertising.
 
2011-08-19 09:22:33 AM  
The new king

img21.imageshack.us
 
2011-08-19 09:24:09 AM  

blackheart666: denyall: blackheart666: AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.

Just google "Red Robin". They're all over the place.

You're welcome.

Yeah, then you can get an $8 burger in the states; no need to go to Europe. Great burgers, but 'spensive.

/still likes Waffle House and DQ burgers for fast food

Red Robin is cheap compared to here my group usually goes. $150 check for 4 at the Dogfish Brewpub most times.

Just saying.


80% of which is beer anyway.
/amiright.jpg
 
2011-08-19 09:26:04 AM  
Love Whoppers, and had one yesterday during a trip, so getting a kick... Tried the BK Minis, which were definitely nothing to write home about.

Couldn't stand The King when that campaign started, then he grew on me.

Pulp Fiction Burger King Link (new window)
 
2011-08-19 09:27:35 AM  

varmitydog: I almost never eat at fast food places (maybe twice a year), but the local Burger King sent around coupons, buy one get one free. So when we went to town we stopped in to have lunch there. The first time wasn't too bad, a whopper. We got french fries too, but they were terrible, so we took them home and fed them to the dogs. The second time we tried their chicken sandwich. I took a bite and it was terrible, almost all fried bread with no chicken taste whatsoever. Mrs varmitydog wouldn't eat hers either, so the dogs got both sandwiches. Even going in to take advantage of a special we got ripped off. We won't be going back.

If Burger King wants to do something to improve their business, they should look at the quality of the food they put out, not the advertising.


You make the dogs suffer like that? Don't like your dogs much, huh?
 
2011-08-19 09:31:39 AM  

phaseolus:

Interesting ... Anyone else have this problem? I can't remember any other fast food chain we've discussed that's made Farkers physically ill.


Are you kidding? The mere mention of pre-prepared food makes 1/3 of Farkers sprint to the bathroom to expunge their GI tract.
 
2011-08-19 09:35:56 AM  

Hobodeluxe: ReverendJasen: TheMega: I simply cannot eat Burger King.. makes me sick as hell

Me too. I used to like BK better than the others, years ago. Somewhere along the line they changed their meat or oil or something and now I have to run to the bathroom with gastrointestinal distress within 30 minutes of eating a Whopper. It really doesn't taste good anymore either.
The only place that hurts my insides worse is Hardee's.

Yet I can handle any Mexican food you put in front of me. Strange.

same here. it's bad news for my system eating from there. And I used to love their food.


Uh yeah. I don't know but the common thread for me is their bacon. If I got anything with bacon on it from either place it means nothing but a day of pain. I will hit up BK once in a very very long while but it's pure desperation when I do. Now I do like Hardee's chicken but that's absolutely the limit for me at that joint.

/thanks for the latest palate shift because I can't stand most fast food. Have four inches off the waist and 20 pounds lost in three months and feel great.
//and WTF is it that makes the stench of Long John Silvers permeate an entire city block?
 
2011-08-19 09:40:49 AM  
...made with what's arguably the gastronomic trend of 2011 1972: guacamole.

FTFY
 
2011-08-19 09:43:09 AM  

phaseolus: TheMega: I simply cannot eat Burger King.. makes me sick as hell

phaseolus: I've gotten food poisoning from Burger King twice.

ReverendJasen: ... now I have to run to the bathroom with gastrointestinal distress within 30 minutes of eating a Whopper.


Interesting ... Anyone else have this problem? I can't remember any other fast food chain we've discussed that's made Farkers physically ill.


I like BK, but it's made Mrs. Anomaly sick twice. (Now we live 500 miles from that location but she still won't eat there).

Both of us can eat White Castle with no problems (though now we live 500 miles away from that too).
 
2011-08-19 09:43:53 AM  
What a coincidence, I was going to refocus on your mom too subby!

Tell her sorry for not calling back!
 
2011-08-19 09:44:36 AM  
while working at BK mid to late 80's some kids ran into the store and stole the life size cut out of herb right in front of everybody and ran down the street. I always thought what an awesome prank.
 
2011-08-19 09:44:37 AM  
McDonalds, the only place more revolting than Burger King.
 
2011-08-19 09:44:46 AM  

8DragonFark: varmitydog: I almost never eat at fast food places (maybe twice a year), but the local Burger King sent around coupons, buy one get one free. So when we went to town we stopped in to have lunch there. The first time wasn't too bad, a whopper. We got french fries too, but they were terrible, so we took them home and fed them to the dogs. The second time we tried their chicken sandwich. I took a bite and it was terrible, almost all fried bread with no chicken taste whatsoever. Mrs varmitydog wouldn't eat hers either, so the dogs got both sandwiches. Even going in to take advantage of a special we got ripped off. We won't be going back.

If Burger King wants to do something to improve their business, they should look at the quality of the food they put out, not the advertising.

You make the dogs suffer like that? Don't like your dogs much, huh?


My dogs won't even try to eat a fast food French fry. Now my oven-browned taters, thems drives my Labs crazy. Come to think of it...

They've been really good lately and I do have some fresh beef stock in the fridge. Me thinks I will fix them their favorite treat dish: Puppy Poutine. (no cheese curds tho, the gas attack later would prove fatal)
 
zez
2011-08-19 09:48:01 AM  
I ate here yesterday. Best $4.99 I've spent in a while.

i227.photobucket.com
 
2011-08-19 09:52:06 AM  
They used to offer 2-for-1 Whopper deals on the wrappers of the chocolate we sold for fundraising in high school.

My mother had a freezer with Whoppers we'd re-heat when we needed a quick meal.

Worst. 3 weeks. For my colon. Ever.

/until that night of double Bloody Caesars and hot wings
 
2011-08-19 09:56:54 AM  

8DragonFark: varmitydog: I almost never eat at fast food places (maybe twice a year), but the local Burger King sent around coupons, buy one get one free. So when we went to town we stopped in to have lunch there. The first time wasn't too bad, a whopper. We got french fries too, but they were terrible, so we took them home and fed them to the dogs. The second time we tried their chicken sandwich. I took a bite and it was terrible, almost all fried bread with no chicken taste whatsoever. Mrs varmitydog wouldn't eat hers either, so the dogs got both sandwiches. Even going in to take advantage of a special we got ripped off. We won't be going back.

If Burger King wants to do something to improve their business, they should look at the quality of the food they put out, not the advertising.

You make the dogs suffer like that? Don't like your dogs much, huh?


Then again, dogs will eat their own puke, so it's not that big of a deal...
 
2011-08-19 09:58:52 AM  

zez: I ate here yesterday. Best $4.99 I've spent in a while.

[i227.photobucket.com image 640x480]


I didn't know people actually took pictures of there food. I mean, maybe you got the pic from somewhere else, true, but someone had to have sat down at some point and been like, "F*ck yeah, this photo of my burger is f*cking AWESOME..."

I'll assume it was a bro...
 
2011-08-19 10:01:48 AM  

phaseolus:
Interesting ... Anyone else have this problem? I can't remember any other fast food chain we've discussed that's made Farkers physically ill.


It's likely ammonia poisoning.

Lessons on the food system from the ammonia-hamburger fiasco (new window)
 
2011-08-19 10:05:21 AM  

Gig103: "People want a reason to go back to Burger King,"

Not really. Although at least BK doesn't have the worst fries anymore after Wendy's ruined theirs.


No.
 
2011-08-19 10:06:06 AM  
Anybody else remember the "Burger King" in Elder Scrolls: Oblivion video from a while back? It made my goddamn day, so here it is for anyone who didn't catch it:

Dancy, dancy... (new window)
 
2011-08-19 10:06:28 AM  
FTA: "In the first of many steps to reinvent itself over the next year, the struggling fast-feeder Friday will announce that it's dethroning the creepy King character - and other wacky, teen-targeting stuff - and refocusing on a customer it had all but forgotten: Mom."

Here's how mom reacted:

www.cornel1801.com
 
zez
2011-08-19 10:07:12 AM  

sattizahn: zez: I ate here yesterday. Best $4.99 I've spent in a while.

[i227.photobucket.com image 640x480]

I didn't know people actually took pictures of there food. I mean, maybe you got the pic from somewhere else, true, but someone had to have sat down at some point and been like, "F*ck yeah, this photo of my burger is f*cking AWESOME..."

I'll assume it was a bro...


Actually I did take that picture. My friend who moved away and I send each other pictures of what we're eating all the time since we can't eat together any more. Yeah I know it's stupid but it keeps us close.
 
2011-08-19 10:08:35 AM  
This was my favorite ad campaign on tv.
 
2011-08-19 10:09:16 AM  

zez: sattizahn: zez: I ate here yesterday. Best $4.99 I've spent in a while.

[i227.photobucket.com image 640x480]

I didn't know people actually took pictures of there food. I mean, maybe you got the pic from somewhere else, true, but someone had to have sat down at some point and been like, "F*ck yeah, this photo of my burger is f*cking AWESOME..."

I'll assume it was a bro...

Actually I did take that picture. My friend who moved away and I send each other pictures of what we're eating all the time since we can't eat together any more. Yeah I know it's stupid but it keeps us close.


Haha, that's awesome. Especially if it's specialty foods you can't find anywhere else...
 
2011-08-19 10:11:03 AM  

sattizahn: zez: I ate here yesterday. Best $4.99 I've spent in a while.

[i227.photobucket.com image 640x480]

I didn't know people actually took pictures of there food. I mean, maybe you got the pic from somewhere else, true, but someone had to have sat down at some point and been like, "F*ck yeah, this photo of my burger is f*cking AWESOME..."

I'll assume it was a bro...


You shouldn't be surprised when people take pictures of just about anything these days and post them on the Internet. I hear there are various tube-sites that you can search for all kinds of things.
 
2011-08-19 10:17:18 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: A burger thread that still hasn't degenerated into a Five Guys vs. In-n-Out flamewar? Never thought I'd see the day.....


...when someone mentioned a burger flamewar without mentioning Whataburger.
 
2011-08-19 10:20:19 AM  
Funny, they all try to go with the "Fresh and Healthy" marketing but anyone who doesn't have their head up their own ass knows that isn't true.

At least the king was entertaining.
 
2011-08-19 10:24:14 AM  

Das Kiwizoid: On the bright side, this gives him plenty of time to have some more adventures in Cyrodiil (new window).


Came here for this, glad to see it again.
 
2011-08-19 10:34:57 AM  
The best burger joint around me is a Wendys. A god damn Wendys

still better than the BK and Red Robin at least
 
2011-08-19 10:36:26 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.


They don't have kitchens anymore. All their food comes to them precooked and has only to be thawed and heated. Even the fries are fully cooked and need only a minute or so in hot oil. These crap joints don't serve food.
 
2011-08-19 10:45:21 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


10/10, sir.

profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2011-08-19 10:50:13 AM  

Dahnkster: bahknee: On a side note, I find it amusing that anything can be made "Californian" by adding guacamole or avocado.

[frogocado.jpg]

Don't be hating on Calaveras County


Oh God...that picture turned my stomach. Don't think I'll be able to eat avocado for a while.

/hate frogs
 
2011-08-19 10:52:11 AM  

coinspinner: Dahnkster: bahknee: On a side note, I find it amusing that anything can be made "Californian" by adding guacamole or avocado.

[frogocado.jpg]

Don't be hating on Calaveras County

Oh God...that picture turned my stomach. Don't think I'll be able to eat avocado for a while.

/hate frogs


Frog legs are tasty!!!
 
2011-08-19 10:55:12 AM  
Booger king is nasty. No advertising is going to fix that.
 
2011-08-19 11:07:46 AM  

fusillade762: "Call it the Whole Foods effect," says Ron Paul, president of consulting firm Technomic

Busy guy.


This isn't the first time I've seen a person named Ron Paul in a article on Fark that the news site highlighted his name and linked it back to Rep. Ron Paul stories.
 
2011-08-19 11:13:18 AM  

BillSmith70: coinspinner: Dahnkster: bahknee: On a side note, I find it amusing that anything can be made "Californian" by adding guacamole or avocado.

[frogocado.jpg]

Don't be hating on Calaveras County

Oh God...that picture turned my stomach. Don't think I'll be able to eat avocado for a while.

/hate frogs

Frog legs are tasty!!!


You owe me a new keyboard. Because I just threw up all over it.
 
2011-08-19 11:14:49 AM  
They should give this ad campaign another try:
www.wnd.com


/hot, like the french fries that grow like weeds
 
2011-08-19 11:26:43 AM  
"We're re-igniting the latent feeling that people have about Burger King," says Gordon Bowen, chief creative officer at McGarryBowen.

Man, I hate marketing-speak. It's so false and pretentious. It's disingenuous. Do these assholes take a class on this sort of bullshiat-talking, or is it a natural talent?

As for Burger King, here's how they can fix their image:

CLEAN YOUR RESTAURANTS!

Honestly. Every time I go into a Burger King it's dirty. The tables are not wiped down. There's spilled cola on the floor that employees ignore and walk around instead of mopping up. There's a sticky feeling to everything.

And the restaurants all feel old and outdated, too.

Then, of course, the food needs some help. The patties have gotten smaller. The bread has gotten bigger. The fries have gone through several changes and still aren't as good as Wendy's or McDonald's fries. The shakes suck. The Coke is super-sweet because the fountain is pumping 30% more syrup than it should. The veggies all taste like they're from a can.

Make fatter patties, use better ingredients, and learn to make some decent fries, and you'll be a step in the right direction.

And yeah, killing The King is a good idea. He was creepy and unappealing. On the other hand, this whole "fresh & kinda healthy" thing has been done to death and I'm sick of it. How about instead of some gimmick, you just make good food? I don't need a guacamole burger. I need a burger that has beef that doesn't have the texture of cardboard.
 
2011-08-19 11:38:12 AM  
I wonder if anyone mentioned to these nitwits that avocados are a spring crop. They're introducing this stuff after peak season and going into the winter. So, I'm guessing there aren't going to be people in the back prepping real avocados. It will be that gawd-awful green slime that comes in a tub.

Of course, as usual, they'll spend millions of dollars on advertising singing about how great their food is. When in truth, it'll be the same gristle filled manhole covers, the same nasty veggies and doughy buns, all nuked in an unholy fast food abortion in a wrapper. I swear, eating convenience store hot dogs, which have turned more miles on the rotisserie than the wheels of a big-rig, is more appetizing... and cheaper!
 
2011-08-19 11:38:45 AM  

Smug Beer Guy: They should give this ad campaign another try


That ad made me die a little inside, as I loved the Big Rock Candy Mountain song when I was a kid.

Then I discovered that none of my friends had even heard of it, and I wondered, not for the first time, just who were all these weirdos.
 
2011-08-19 11:39:34 AM  
BURGER KING IS NOW HEALTHY! Phew. A new advertising campaign sure makes me feel like Burger King is healthy choice for moms to feed their kids.
 
2011-08-19 11:53:51 AM  
For my money, right now I think the best burgers - chain or otherwise - are at Smashburger. (new window)

Their 'Colorado' burger is something I legitimately crave. Plus I dig my fries with rosemary.
 
2011-08-19 12:02:54 PM  

retriever: 8DragonFark: varmitydog: I almost never eat at fast food places (maybe twice a year), but the local Burger King sent around coupons, buy one get one free. So when we went to town we stopped in to have lunch there. The first time wasn't too bad, a whopper. We got french fries too, but they were terrible, so we took them home and fed them to the dogs. The second time we tried their chicken sandwich. I took a bite and it was terrible, almost all fried bread with no chicken taste whatsoever. Mrs varmitydog wouldn't eat hers either, so the dogs got both sandwiches. Even going in to take advantage of a special we got ripped off. We won't be going back.

If Burger King wants to do something to improve their business, they should look at the quality of the food they put out, not the advertising.

You make the dogs suffer like that? Don't like your dogs much, huh?

My dogs won't even try to eat a fast food French fry. Now my oven-browned taters, thems drives my Labs crazy. Come to think of it...

They've been really good lately and I do have some fresh beef stock in the fridge. Me thinks I will fix them their favorite treat dish: Puppy Poutine. (no cheese curds tho, the gas attack later would prove fatal)


Did you train them well or do you believe they are health conscious?
/Saw the neighbor's dog eat a cat turd.
 
2011-08-19 12:18:05 PM  
img535.imageshack.us
 
2011-08-19 12:18:10 PM  
When I was in Dublin in '05, best meal I had was a farking Burger King. The food in Ireland is really bland. The Guinness is farking fantastic, though.

I don't think I would put Burger King at the bottom of the fast food chain. I would NEVER eat in a Subway. Everyone of them around here is staffed by savages with serious body odor.

McDonalds has to be the basement dweller IMHO. Even then, I still get the urge to get a Big Mac. They must be putting nicotine in them or something. I always feel like shiat after I eat it, though. I know it going in. Even as I'm standing in line, I know it. And I eat it anyway? WTF.

I like KFC to a certain extent. It has a comfort food factor that takes me back to my days as a li'l tot in the 70's when mom would be too lazy to cook, and would get a bucket of original recipe.

In my spectrum of fast food, Burger King lies someplace between KFC and Wendy's. But, I do agree with earlier comments that Wendys ruined their fries with the recent changes. Wendy's has a really good spicy chicken sammich.

I occasionally visit the trendy small chain/local burger shops like Five Guys or Jakes, but if I'm going to drop that much coin on a burger, I want to be able to get a couple drinks with it, etc.

Oh, and for those of you who remember when McDonalds used to put the original cheeseburgers under the heat lamps and melt the cheese, just buy a few, take them home, and nuke 'em for about 10 seconds a burger. It melts the cheese right into the patty, and it's 1981 all over again!
 
2011-08-19 12:22:01 PM  

Dahnkster: Candygram for Mongo: Here's how you get the customers back:


[farm6.static.flickr.com image 389x500]

/hot

I remember the greasy processed chicken pecker fries and the Coq Roq campaign
[adland.tv image 180x217]
They had this creepy chicken head Slipknot cover band and were trying to come off all nasty and edgy.
[www.anniemayhem.com image 384x193]

[img264.imageshack.us image 438x237]
Ding Fries are done.


Even worse? That band was really Buckcherry in masks.
 
2011-08-19 12:43:57 PM  
It might help if your food wasn't greasier than taco bell.

The last two times I have eaten there I've gotten so sick it's disgusting.

It's Arby's with their roasted roastbeef for me ever since. No stomach pains!
 
2011-08-19 12:53:55 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


img.photobucket.com
 
2011-08-19 12:59:18 PM  
Surprised this wasn't posted....

bedside surprise (animooted) (new window)
 
2011-08-19 01:15:32 PM  

rickythepenguin: does anyone else rememnber the super creepy BK mersh from about 10 years ago, of a shlumpy, nerdy, roly poly guy walking in a cubicle farm, seeing a discarded burger wrapper in the trash, then surreptitiously seeing if anyone was around, then retrieving the wrapper, hungrily inhaling its aroma, then this hot gal comes by, catches him sniffing the wrapper, and she goes, "dude. that is NOT COOL. are you sniffing my wrapper?" he goes, "no." she goes, "that is GROSS. You are not cool."

geee no symbolism there.


weirdest ad ever.


Found it (new window)
 
2011-08-19 01:23:25 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Then, of course, the food needs some help.


They could certainly just start selling Wendy's food...

Kinda like one of Wendy's commercials a few years ago. Customer comes in to a generic fast food place and asks the guy at the counter for a bowl of chili. He says "Great idea! Let me get my boots and we'll go to Wendy's!"

/easily amused
 
2011-08-19 01:45:12 PM  
img268.imageshack.us
 
2011-08-19 01:51:20 PM  

Cuchulane: Lessons on the food system from the ammonia-hamburger fiasco (new window)


Oh god. I did not need to read that.
 
2011-08-19 02:06:09 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: A burger thread that still hasn't degenerated into a Five Guys vs. In-n-Out flamewar? Never thought I'd see the day.....


That's because those tofu licking socialist California hippies finally had to admit that Five Guys is the best and have slunk away in humiliating defeat
 
2011-08-19 02:14:03 PM  
What has been seen cannot be unseen. I'll never forget that creepy farker.
 
2011-08-19 02:27:08 PM  
Ding Dong the Creepy King is Dead!

/Il have a triple whopper with cheese to celebrate
//Oh yeah, and a salad to make it nutritional
 
2011-08-19 03:10:28 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I never eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's or any of the pedestrian, mass-market fast food hamburger joints. It makes me physically ill to even catch a whiff of their kitchen.

I only eat at small, local burger shops where the employees care about the food they are making and I can get home made mayonnaise and a decent side of fries. I'm sure you've never heard of them, so I won't waste my time telling you where they are.


At this point I'm convinced that every thread you enter, you do so with the intent of coming off as a pretentious douche bag.
 
2011-08-19 03:51:32 PM  
Burger King's food isn't healthy - it's dead. I like healthful foods, though. ;-)

Does Burger King want to know why I stopped going there? They charge extra for the healthy stuff. Want apples instead of fries? More $. McDs? Same. And their burgers taste like overcooked leather with Hibachi scrapings.

These places would've turned around instantly if anyone in management had ever tried to eat there. 10 years ago, I preferred 'em. XP
 
2011-08-19 03:55:06 PM  
I must be one of the few people who liked The King marketing campaign, it made me like Burger King again. Mind you, I never eat there and their ads have never persuaded me to eat there (because no matter the branding, they taste like crap) but chuckling at The King ads made me think of them more kindly.
 
2011-08-19 05:50:52 PM  
How about the SUBSERVIENT CHICKEN?! (new window)
 
2011-08-19 06:00:49 PM  

Rubber Biscuit: The true reason I never go to the Burger King near my place: I've seen their semi retarded waitstaff drop the fry basket on the floor and drop it back in the oil without a second glance, I've seen them bang the stacks of frozen patties on the floor to separate them before cooking, watched them handle the sandwich ingredients with their bare palms and fingers, and I watched a guy stop mopping the floors and walk behind the counter to pitch in cooking without any thought to washing his hands. This is what I could see during a couple of visits, maybe fifteen total minutes in the store. This is what I could see from the customer wait line. Imagine what's going on in the back where customers can't see.

No fast food for me anymore, thanks.


All of that sounds gross until you take in to account the floor back there is mopped several times a day, the fryers are running at face melting temperatures and the burgers are... cooked. Perhaps they were out of gloves, perhaps the person was allergic to them but whatever the reason they touched your raw burger with their hands... all the insecticide used in farming and your worried about someones ungloved hand touching stuff because of ikky germs?

That BK kitchen is cleaner than yours. It's disassembled every freaking day and scrubbed.
 
2011-08-19 06:40:20 PM  

Optimal_Illusion: How about the SUBSERVIENT CHICKEN?! (new window)


I feel like I'm watching a soon to be edible snuff video when I go to that site daily.
 
RnR
2011-08-19 06:47:12 PM  
As a kid burger king used to be one of my favorite places to eat. When they changed their fry recipe they went pretty far down hill though.

If Burger King ever wants my business again they need to:

1. Change the goddamn grease out more than once a year.

Having fries taste exactly like old grease is not a good thing. Having everything taste like old grease is sickening.

2. Stop serving up very old food.

The difference between fresh burger king food and food that's been sitting around for 20 minutes is vast. Why they don't think anyone notices is beyond me.

3.Clean the restaurants.

4. If you're going to serve old food at least make sure its fast old food.

Why am I waiting 15-45 minutes for my meal if the fries are cold and the burger tastes spoiled? When I was told "we're waiting for the fries to get done" I was under the impression my fries would be hot. Instead they are cold and taste like old grease anyway.

It would be nice if all those were just problems with one BK I could single out and not go to but every BK I've been to in the past 2 years has had the exact same problems. I even got probably my worst case of food poisoning from eating at BK about a year ago.


/Oh yeah and Wendy's new fries suck just as much as their old fries.
 
2011-08-19 11:08:18 PM  

RnR: /Oh yeah and Wendy's new fries suck just as much as their old fries.


If you're going to Wendy's for the fries, you're doing it wrong.

But I agree, their fries are horrid. The last time I ate them, I felt as if they were sucking the water right out of my body. I had to drink a bunch of water to fix the problem, then I felt fine.
 
2011-08-20 04:34:26 AM  

ryarger: bahknee: On a side note, I find it amusing that anything can be made "Californian" by adding guacamole or avocado.

Great, now Tijuana is going to be crawling with messicans caked with green slime.


+1 I know I'm late but, that was a good one.
 
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