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Funked up at a George Clinton concert, quadriplegic skydivers, and one perfect Dr. Seuss headline: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 7/31 - 8/6 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-08-09 6:56:45 PM (9 comments) | Permalink

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4253 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2011 at 7:20 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Not too much in the way of new things to discuss this week, but some good headlines. The Sharpton one was my personal favorite, although being an NBA fan I also got a kick out of the Boston Celtics headline. Cheers to all you funny submitters, sometimes the queue can get sorta tedious and these are like little jewels that shine out of it. I wish you luck in the Headline of the Year contest.

Nothing else from me, but Drew told me he has a posting coming up tomorrow, so stay tuned for that one.

Until next week...

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-31 to Sat 2011-08-06:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  After two weeks of raids, 460,000 marijuana plants destroyed by federal authorities. In related news, Krispy Kreme cuts profit forecasts 20 percent    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Sadly, rain is adding misery to Somalia's famine refugees. HOLD ON, TOM, we're getting word that two celebrities were seen wearing the same dress    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Nobody knows why the quadriplegic skydiver didn't pull the rip cord    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  53 people were shot in Toledo in the last two months with three fatalities, making it the safest city to get shot in    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Blown transformer sparks fire, idea for new X-rated Michael Bay movie    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Restaurants turn to preparing whole animals. Not like Taco Bell, I mean on purpose    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Mourner spreads cremated remains during lightning storm, gets his ash handed to him    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  National Clown Week being celebrated across USA. New festival coordinator has big shoes to fill    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  MSNBC considering giving Al Sharpton his own show. Biologists wait with bated breath, saying it would be the first time a parasite ever became a host    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  "Van man in the can who ran down man he thought he fought." He did not fight him in a box; he did not fight him wearing socks. He did not fight him in the air; he did not fight him anywhere    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Hacker group AntiSec declares war on US police agencies for arresting Anonymous peers. Yeah, big farkin' deal ... Hey, who unlocked all the cell blocks?    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Plaxico Burress signs one-year contract with New York Jets. Says he doesn't yet know the team's playbook, but is familiar with state's penal code    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Former NBA player Darius Miles arrested for attempting to carry a loaded gun onto a plane, despite years of evidence that he can't shoot    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  New Zealand to field oldest "All Blacks" team in history, narrowly breaking the record set by the 2010-2011 Boston Celtics    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  The 10 U.S. states with the slowest Internet speeds. Th..is l..in.k wa...s s..ubm...itt...ed fro....m M....o......n..t    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Researchers grow mouse sperm in the lab. It's refreshing to see scientists with a little spunk    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Georgia Tech engineers make vibrating glove that enhances sense of touch, says nearly blind spokesman while complaining about pain in his groin and hair on his palms    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  President of PBS says the network is more rele--IF YOU'D LIKE QUALITY STORIES ABOUT PBS LIKE THIS ONE, PLEASE MAKE A DONATION NOW    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Shots fired after George Clinton concert. Four people funked up    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Soulja Boy's agent denies $55 million jet story, can't believe anyone thought his client had $55 million    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  "Captain - we have an article detailing how Obama's policies favor black people, and it's ready to strike." ... "Very well, Number One. Make it so." ... "Mister Worfgarbl - prepare the photon derpedos"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Glenn Beck relocating family to Dallas. Compared to most Texans, Beck will now seem soft-spoken and unopinionated    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Chris Christie about to be ejected, er, dragged slowly, from the GOP    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  FDA warns that morning-after pill, Evital, may be ineffective in preventing pregnancy, crying for Argentina    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Hitachi, Mitsubishi edge towards groundbreaking merger, iambic dipthong    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Belgium is the new Spain {which had been the new Italy [which had been the new Ireland (which had been the new Greece)]}    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


9 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2011-08-09 07:21:28 PM  
Happy Birthday to me!
 
2011-08-09 07:28:17 PM  
Any more HOTY updates?
 
2011-08-09 07:31:04 PM  
Unfreakable, The Sharpton one was my personal favorite

Same here. Well done Sensei Can You See. That was good.
 
2011-08-09 07:35:01 PM  

Sensei Can You See: Any more HOTY updates?


No, I almost have February prelimiaries done, and it'll go to TFD tomorrow for voting. Will probably then set up March, April and May after that, but I can't let the subtab stuff slip too much. The real stuff on the main page for everybody will start kicking off the first week of December this year, and we'll have everything wrapped up by about December 15.
 
2011-08-09 07:42:34 PM  

violentsalvation: Unfreakable, The Sharpton one was my personal favorite

Same here. Well done Sensei Can You See. That was good.


Aw, shucks.
 
2011-08-09 10:14:51 PM  
Where is the Browns' Usama and the New York Jets?
 
2011-08-09 10:33:13 PM  

pgh9fan: Where is the Browns' Usama and the New York Jets?


Thurs July 28

these headlines cover 7/31-8/6
 
2011-08-09 11:54:43 PM  
This batch of headlines was great. Most laughs I've had since ... last week
 
2011-08-10 02:02:13 AM  
The Sports and sports-related headlines have really been on fire the past few weeks. Very much enjoyed the Darius Miles headline and the one from this week about a train and the Heat.
 
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