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(New York Daily News)   The United States of Conspiracy: Why more and more, Americans cling to crazy theories   (nydailynews.com) divider line 263
    More: Interesting, United States, Americans, Freemasons, research program, conspiracy theories, conspiracy, tin foils, wardrobe malfunction  
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13299 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Aug 2011 at 5:45 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-08-07 05:53:04 PM
I dunno. Maybe because their fears aren't unfounded?

Link (new window)
 
2011-08-07 05:53:22 PM
because stupid, scared people can't grasp that they're part of a random, emotionless universe
 
2011-08-07 05:53:33 PM
It goes great with guns and bibbles.
 
2011-08-07 05:54:02 PM
because there is more power in misinformation than there is in facts?
 
2011-08-07 05:54:09 PM
That's just what they want you to think.
 
2011-08-07 05:54:35 PM
Truth and crazy are not mutually exclusive. Ever.
 
2011-08-07 05:56:22 PM
The commas made them do it.
 
2011-08-07 05:57:19 PM
You mean a black President isn't a sign of the End Times?
 
2011-08-07 05:57:44 PM
I don't believe the article's crazy conspiracy theory.
 
2011-08-07 05:57:54 PM
My Dad is the town barber in a small Indiana town. He estimates a third of his customers think that Obama has faked Osama's death.
 
X15
2011-08-07 05:58:11 PM
Because stupid hippy idiots and Regan retards decided that we should tolerate crazy people instead of sending them off to therapy and asylums?
 
2011-08-07 05:58:35 PM

ultraholland: because stupid, scared people can't grasp that they're part of a random, emotionless universe


OR, because the fact that the country is going to crap at the same time as the rich are profiting greatly isnt likely coincidental.
 
2011-08-07 05:58:49 PM
Because it's all Republicans' fault. Thanks Obama.
 
2011-08-07 05:59:33 PM
But...but....the internet TOLD me so!
 
2011-08-07 05:59:34 PM
I blame inbreeding.

*cue duelling banjos*
 
2011-08-07 05:59:40 PM
Uhhmm nothings official and I don't appreciate the small print. Grumble.
 
2011-08-07 05:59:45 PM
Old news: News. New News: Opinion of the News. Fark: Opinion of the News as Fact.
 
2011-08-07 05:59:51 PM
You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other
people, here, in the trailer park.

Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're
good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe
watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick
back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people,
Stuart. But they don't know ... what the queers are doing
to the soil!

You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers
in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid. Some of the neighbors
say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.

Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl.
Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never
ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy
breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's
the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you
think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are
doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this about ten years ago, the summer
my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into
town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride
called The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside
the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, just
like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody,
Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found
his head over by the snow cone concession.

A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphlet
in there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Bill, Jr.
And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our
soil?"

Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,
there's a big undeground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa,
for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.
You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government
says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on,
Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to
God.

You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other
people, here in this trailer park.

/obligatory
 
2011-08-07 05:59:52 PM
Because Pat Tilman?
 
2011-08-07 05:59:52 PM
Because people want a big ending to a big story.
 
2011-08-07 06:00:13 PM
Possibly because they are led by people who encourage fear and portray their opponents as being secretly dedicated to dictatorial rule?
 
2011-08-07 06:00:15 PM
We've fostered a culture of anti-intellectualism, and it's bitten us in the ass.
 
2011-08-07 06:00:33 PM
i881.photobucket.com
 
2011-08-07 06:01:06 PM
Because one in four Americans are retarded
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com

/hot
 
2011-08-07 06:02:00 PM
Here, all truncate the article for ya'll.

Here's a bunch of common conspiracy theories that you're a wacko for even considering are real. No we don't have anything to back up our statements. Move along citizen.
 
2011-08-07 06:02:19 PM
Because its easier than accepting reality?

/an American-born ni*bong* got the most number of popular and EC votes?
 
2011-08-07 06:02:52 PM

ultraholland: because stupid, scared people can't grasp that they're part of a random, emotionless universe


What happened to those Guatamalan kids wasn't random.
Neither was Tuskegee.
Nor forced sterilizations in Indian Country.

You're right, the universe is emotionless. But people aren't; and that includes people who do very bad things to fellow humans, then hide behind the audacity on the one hand, and helpful skepticism of the status quo on the other.
 
2011-08-07 06:02:57 PM
85% of Americans already have crazy theories regarding religion and other supernatural phenomena, why should other subjects be immune?

When people are willing to believe things without any empirical evidence or rational thought, there's no limit to the crazy ideas they can come up with.
 
2011-08-07 06:03:01 PM

UNC_Samurai: We've fostered a culture of anti-intellectualism, and it's bitten us in the ass.

 
2011-08-07 06:03:10 PM
This is all part of UltraFark Syndrome, more and more, Farkistan sleeper agents and illegal shipments of Maker's Mark. Reverse Vampires who now RUN the Rand Corporation, you can't hide from it, They'll track and use you mercilessly. "Buy TotalFark while you can." - that's all the billboards say in my dreams.
 
2011-08-07 06:03:19 PM
i51.photobucket.com

There is nothing to see in this thread. Conspiracy theories are all purported by tin-hat wearing kooks. You will love and cherish your family for the rest of your life.

/And there are no such things as aliens or Men in Black.
 
2011-08-07 06:04:32 PM
Because the American educational system no longer teaches people how to think, just how to memorize and follow directions.

*I WIN*
 
2011-08-07 06:06:05 PM
"Because they're farking idiots" conspicuously absent.
 
2011-08-07 06:06:19 PM
Three requirements for a successful conspiracy:

1) Small
2) Organized
3) Secret

Now, name three things the government is not.
 
2011-08-07 06:06:24 PM
I know, right? Some people even believe that congressional Republicans are conspiring to tank the economy to keep Obama from being reelected.

Buncha nutjobs, I tell ya.
 
2011-08-07 06:06:54 PM
When the "official" story requires a greater suspension of disbelief than alternative "conspiracy" theories, it becomes rational to believe the conspiracy.
 
2011-08-07 06:07:44 PM
www.pollsb.com

More americans aren't buying into crazy theories, that's just what the government wants you to believe.
 
2011-08-07 06:07:51 PM
Conspiracy theorists give the human race way too much credit.
 
2011-08-07 06:09:02 PM
The number of elaborate government lies and cover ups over the last few decades has been well-documented by reputable sources. You're incredibly naive to take anything they claim seriously.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Northwoods
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKULTRA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulf_of_Tonkin_incident
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation_in_the_United_Stat e s
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Midnight_Climax

How can anybody read these Wikipedias and still believe that the US government is always truthful with its citizens?
 
2011-08-07 06:09:03 PM
A lot of people still believe in these wacko conspiracy theories!

1) Iraq had WMD and was an active nuclear threat

2) The US has never unlawfully wiretapped its own citizens

3) The US has never tortured anyone

Good job journalists on keeping our elected leaders' feet to the toasty warm fireplace!
 
2011-08-07 06:10:04 PM

Axana: The number of elaborate government lies and cover ups over the last few decades has been well-documented by reputable sources. You're incredibly naive to take anything they claim seriously.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Northwoods
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKULTRA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulf_of_Tonkin_incident
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation_in_the_United_Stat e s
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Midnight_Climax

How can anybody read these Wikipedias and still believe that the US government is always truthful with its citizens?


Because fark you if you hate America. Love it or leave it!

God bless our troops!
 
2011-08-07 06:10:58 PM
Because people would prefer to think that everything happens for a reason as long as that reason isn't 'general incompetence'
 
2011-08-07 06:11:08 PM
Came here for "The Paranoid Style in American Politics" by Richard J. Hofstadter, left disappointed.
 
2011-08-07 06:11:38 PM
It's all in the cards...
www.politisink.com

/this post does not exist
//fnord
 
2011-08-07 06:11:57 PM
Wasn't the WMDs in Iraq a conspiracy theory?

Isn't the Iranian nuclear weapons program a conspiracy theory?

We just talk on the internet, when the POTUS believes in it is REALLY dangerous.
 
2011-08-07 06:13:29 PM

KellyLockhart: Three requirements for a successful conspiracy:

1) Small
2) Organized
3) Secret

Now, name three things the government is not.



Consider the conspiracy of police officers to not arrest, or even ticket, each other (or members of their families).

It's not small. It's not organized and it is not secret.
 
2011-08-07 06:14:27 PM

DavidVincent: Wasn't the WMDs in Iraq a conspiracy theory?

Isn't the Iranian nuclear weapons program a conspiracy theory?

We just talk on the internet, when the POTUS believes in it is REALLY dangerous.


Afghan sheepherders are a real and credible threat to the US homeland worthy of justifying billions of dollars a day in perpetual military action.

Remember, It's not a conspiracy if it's a partisan talking point.
 
2011-08-07 06:14:32 PM
I like to believe in conspiracy theories, not because they're true but because the alternative, that the people running the show are actually this incompetent, is too horrific to contemplate.
 
2011-08-07 06:14:55 PM

Rich Cream: Consider the conspiracy of police officers to not arrest, or even ticket, each other (or members of their families).

It's not small. It's not organized and it is not secret.


It's also not a "conspiracy". Apples to anvils.
 
2011-08-07 06:15:04 PM
i.imgur.com

Everyone knows it's the fault of the Little Jimmies

/C-O-N...spiracy!
 
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