FARK.com: (6456380) Are you a thumper or a sniffer?

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		Are you a thumper or a sniffer? (suntimes.com)		80
		More: Interesting, watermelons, room temperatures, tropical fruit

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17384 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Aug 2011 at 4:38 PM | Favorite | share:

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Skail		2011-08-07 11:52:53 AM

Thumper. A good hollow sound usually* indicates a crisp, juicy watermelon.

* - about 80-85% of the time

Procedural Texture		2011-08-07 12:08:19 PM

Gosh, Bambi, that sounds really dirty.

quickdraw		2011-08-07 12:19:52 PM

Both

/don't judge me

Aar1012		2011-08-07 12:48:23 PM

Thumper? I barely know 'er!

basemetal		2011-08-07 12:57:02 PM

I'd thump it.

Doctor Funkenstein		2011-08-07 01:05:06 PM

I'm more of a crotch-hound. I have a GED in Twatology.

Benevolent Misanthrope		2011-08-07 01:31:52 PM

I'm more of a fondler - but then, I go for other, smaller, firmer types. After fondling, I may sniff to make sure, though.

Bathia_Mapes		2011-08-07 01:46:10 PM

Watermelon, thumper.
Cantaloupe, sniffer.

Makh		2011-08-07 02:17:37 PM

Sniff first before you lick. Then thump. It's different for melons, you need careful attention to them at all times.

/What are we talking about here?

Kimothy		2011-08-07 02:32:30 PM

I actually look to see how much black stuff is around the stem. That's the sugar, and the more there is, the sweeter the melon.

//Grew up in Nebraska, taught that by a farmer.

FloydA		2011-08-07 02:51:14 PM

Procedural Texture: Gosh, Bambi, that sounds really dirty.

Apparently, Thumper is a sniffer.

Somacandra		2011-08-07 03:07:07 PM

Hate watermelon, love canteloupe, like honeydew. Sniff first, then rub for soft spots.

Somacandra		2011-08-07 03:09:13 PM

/oblig.

Meatzilla		2011-08-07 04:00:21 PM

/thumper-not a sniffer like being a grower-not a show'er?

ZAZ		2011-08-07 04:37:34 PM

I hate to be the guy who comes into every thread to say this but... I don't like big melons. Give me a nice key lime, or an orange or a lemon, instead of your grotesque, swollen gourds.

Kumana Wanalaia		2011-08-07 04:44:07 PM

Procedural Texture: Gosh, Bambi, that sounds really dirty.

came here for this

/fap

GranoblasticMan		2011-08-07 04:45:18 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm more of a fondler - but then, I go for other, smaller, firmer types. After fondling, I may sniff to make sure, though.

Really, there are few pleasures in life as great as groping some melons.

cowgirl toffee		2011-08-07 04:45:24 PM

I'm a thumper.
And, I have my own special technique...

img843.imageshack.us

ignatiusst		2011-08-07 04:46:14 PM

I'm gonna suggest that decision was made for me when I was 17 and, in a drug-induced haze, got my tattoo.

eViLpOpTaRt		2011-08-07 04:46:49 PM

Thump or sniff?

Do both. Don't fondle them. That's kinky.

GranoblasticMan		2011-08-07 04:47:10 PM

ZAZ: I hate to be the guy who comes into every thread to say this but... I don't like big melons. Give me a nice key lime, or an orange or a lemon, instead of your grotesque, swollen gourds.

i16.photobucket.com

Truly an unwieldy fruit.

zato_ichi		2011-08-07 04:47:43 PM

GranoblasticMan		2011-08-07 04:48:53 PM

cowgirl toffee: I'm a thumper.
And, I have my own special technique...

[img843.imageshack.us image 600x750]

Ah yes. One of the less well known ninja weapons: the vagbaton.

ununcle		2011-08-07 04:48:53 PM

Both, as long as it's seedless.

/eww

cowgirl toffee		2011-08-07 04:52:42 PM

GranoblasticMan: cowgirl toffee: I'm a thumper.
And, I have my own special technique...

[img843.imageshack.us image 600x750]

Ah yes. One of the less well known ninja weapons: the vagbaton.

Hasn't got me a bad watermelon yet.

thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thump

Porous Horace		2011-08-07 04:54:55 PM

I'm more of a heat-in-microwave, make-hole kinda guy.

chaddsfarkprefect		2011-08-07 04:55:04 PM

Team Edward.

RatMaster999		2011-08-07 04:55:21 PM

There's only one reason to by watermelons...

TheOther		2011-08-07 04:57:11 PM

Porous Horace: I'm more of a heat-in-microwave, make-hole kinda guy.

Was seedless...not any more.

zato_ichi		2011-08-07 05:05:35 PM

TheOther: Was seedless...not any more.

Heh. I laffed way too hard at that.

Barricaded Gunman		2011-08-07 05:08:08 PM

basemetal: I'd thump it.

I'd sniff it first.

MyRandomName		2011-08-07 05:12:43 PM

I jam a bottle of Grey Goose in it and see which one holds the bottle better.

kenoshaillini		2011-08-07 05:15:05 PM

Since me and some friends sat on sniffers row the other day I am getting a kick out of this.

chud21		2011-08-07 05:15:29 PM

My sex life is none of your business pervmitter.

GranoblasticMan		2011-08-07 05:17:10 PM

chud21: My sex life is none ~~of your business pervmitter~~.

FTFM...

Gunderson		2011-08-07 05:23:16 PM

I'm a power thumper myself. But every now and then I like to change things up and be an eager sniffer

msupf		2011-08-07 05:24:15 PM

cowgirl toffee: I'm a thumper.
And, I have my own special technique...

[img843.imageshack.us image 600x750]

wasn't that one of Kodachi's secret techniques in Ranma 1/2?

PsiChi		2011-08-07 05:26:40 PM

I look for heaviness (which the article says is a good idea) and color of the skin (article says that's useless). Was surprised that the presence of the flat, yellow spot where it rests is good - indicates good growth opportunity and time to "sugar up." Makes sense, though.

Protip: Rather than letting a gigantic watermelon take up tons of room in your fridge, use your little melon baller to make - duh - melon balls. Stick them in a tupperware and have delicious, juicy, bite-size, cold melon ready in an instant for everyone.

Ta da!

thebigfarker		2011-08-07 05:26:49 PM

Thumping is a test of ripeness, a.k.a. is it old enough.
Smelling gives an indication of quality, a.k.a. OMG where has this been!

The only way to be sure of texture is to get inside and see how firm it is.

/Remember to always check for signs of bugs first.

msupf		2011-08-07 05:28:47 PM

the sugar around the stem is a good indicator. Same goes for it feeling heavy for its dimensions. That usually indicates plenty of liquid within, which means a good sweet watermelon. If they feel light, they are likely overripe and the sugary liquid has started to ferment, and that the rind is getting thin.

worked at a farmers market as a youth, there is nothing worse than a watermelon that has gone rancid and burst through the deteriorated rind and leaked all over the display bin.

Porous Horace		2011-08-07 05:32:17 PM

msupf: a watermelon that has gone rancid and burst through the deteriorated rind and leaked all over the display bin.

/fap

msupf		2011-08-07 05:32:26 PM

PsiChi: I look for heaviness (which the article says is a good idea) and color of the skin (article says that's useless). Was surprised that the presence of the flat, yellow spot where it rests is good - indicates good growth opportunity and time to "sugar up." Makes sense, though.

Protip: Rather than letting a gigantic watermelon take up tons of room in your fridge, use your little melon baller to make - duh - melon balls. Stick them in a tupperware and have delicious, juicy, bite-size, cold melon ready in an instant for everyone.

Ta da!

bah, you lose too much liquid(flavor!) that way. It's best to cut off what you plan to eat right away and store the rest still in the rind. Once you fully expose the flesh you have at most a day before the flavor starts going south.

That said, watermelon doesn't last that long around here. We just shave off the rind and then cut the flesh into cubes and chow down. Better than ice cream.

brantgoose		2011-08-07 05:38:13 PM

This thought occurred to me while reading the article: if you're in a hurry, pick a water melon that looks like the beautiful sample that the store cut up as samples or for display. They probably know how to pick the best watermelon for display. If they don't you're shopping in the wrong store.

twfeline		2011-08-07 05:40:14 PM

I'm a mean motor scooter and a bad go-getter.

/What do I win?

Barovelli		2011-08-07 05:41:19 PM

A sledger..

i48.photobucket.com

Nick Nostril		2011-08-07 05:44:35 PM

I thump watermelons and sniff cantaloupe. YMMV.

HowlingPook		2011-08-07 05:44:36 PM

Best rule of thumb on home grown melons is a dried stem. That indicates it has finished growing/sweet as it is going to get. Supermarket, not so much. Commercial melons are so hybridized the stem can be green on a melon that was picked 6 months ago. I use a thump/heft for weight and try to get the heaviest one in the bin. I never realized that about the pale spot being creamy or orange in a good melon. I used to haul watermelons out of Mexico and Imperial Valley years ago and you would see that in a well tended field.

Black Diamond season starts around here in a few more weeks. Best watermelons in the world.

msupf		2011-08-07 05:50:12 PM

HowlingPook: Best rule of thumb on home grown melons is a dried stem. That indicates it has finished growing/sweet as it is going to get. Supermarket, not so much. Commercial melons are so hybridized the stem can be green on a melon that was picked 6 months ago. I use a thump/heft for weight and try to get the heaviest one in the bin. I never realized that about the pale spot being creamy or orange in a good melon. I used to haul watermelons out of Mexico and Imperial Valley years ago and you would see that in a well tended field.

Black Diamond season starts around here in a few more weeks. Best watermelons in the world.

partial to the texas sangrias myself. Black Diamonds are good though because they are late season, so extends the prime watermelon-eating period.

Porous Horace		2011-08-07 05:52:24 PM

Food threads are my favourite fark threads, and it looks like this one is going to be pleasant, unlike a catsup-on-hotdog thread.

/Who doesn't like watermelon?

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves		2011-08-07 05:55:02 PM

thebigfarker: Thumping is a test of ripeness, a.k.a. is it old enough.
Smelling gives an indication of quality, a.k.a. OMG where has this been!

The only way to be sure of texture is to get inside and see how firm it is.

/Remember to always check for signs of bugs first.

I think that works for watermelons as well.

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