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(The Brooklyn Paper)   Breaking News: NYC couple frantically searching for missing son. Except it's a not really their son, it's a doll. Fark: a monkey doll   (brooklynpaper.com) divider line 94
    More: Weird, NYC, sons  
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5990 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2011 at 4:27 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-08-03 01:56:41 PM
I wonder if someone had a different one, since it's just a Beanie Baby, if they'd "know" it wasn't the right one or not.

/would like to try it, if I happened to have one.
 
2011-08-03 02:11:03 PM
Look at the bright side:

Hipsters this stupid shouldn't have real kids anyway, so they can't pass on the twee gene.
 
2011-08-03 02:17:57 PM
Could be worse... could have been a Real Doll.
 
2011-08-03 02:18:10 PM
Jebus. These seem like two of the saddest, most developmentally stunted individuals I've seen in a long time. They actually lug around a stuffed animal with them when they go out?

FTFA: "Bongo's simply a member of our family," said Marcus, who uses the term "mother" when talking about her relationship to the doll. "We take him everywhere, we talk to him."


It's... a... doll.

I swear, the next time one of you coastal arseholes yammer on about the stupidity of we sad sacks in the flyover states, I'm pointing to this story. Oh yes.
 
2011-08-03 02:23:13 PM
Let me guess....................Park Slope.
 
2011-08-03 02:25:41 PM
Reminds me of my favorite local bloggy outrage on Park Slope Parent or something or other a few years back.

Someone had posted that they had found a boy's toddler sized baseball cap on the street and wondered if anyone had lost it.

The good samaritan was soon yelled out of the forum with the likeds of BABY GIRLS CAN PLAY BASEBALL TOO - YOU SEXIST PIECE OF SHIATE!
 
2011-08-03 02:36:04 PM

brap: Reminds me of my favorite local bloggy outrage on Park Slope Parent or something or other a few years back.


http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/16665/
http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/29/15/29_15smartmom.html
 
2011-08-03 02:43:35 PM
SOCK MONKEY THREAD!

First up - hydrosockalus monkey:

i54.tinypic.com
 
2011-08-03 02:46:57 PM
I wish the article had a picture of these two geniuses.
 
2011-08-03 04:06:47 PM

brap: Let me guess....................Park Slope.


According to the story, the Monkey Loosing couple were from Manhattan. I would place safe money on their zip code being in the West Village.
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2011-08-03 04:07:28 PM
Didn't find the monkey, but I found someone's cat.
/Wonder if there's a reward for it's return?

t0.gstatic.com
 
2011-08-03 04:18:00 PM

Ennuipoet: brap: Let me guess....................Park Slope.

According to the story, the Monkey Loosing couple were from Manhattan. I would place safe money on their zip code being in the West Village.


From TFA:

...Zinzi, a Park Slope native...

So, you're both right: He is from Park Slope, but they live in Manhattan.
 
2011-08-03 04:30:08 PM
That's not even a cute monkey doll.
 
2011-08-03 04:30:11 PM
There is a kilo of cocaine in that monkey doll.
 
2011-08-03 04:32:19 PM
Die, Hipster, die.
 
2011-08-03 04:33:15 PM
FTFA: Marcus, 47, and Zinzi, 58, are not in a romantic relationship with each other, but they regard Bongo as the son they never had.

FAIL
 
2011-08-03 04:33:55 PM
I'm not sure if they deserve to be mocked mercilessly, or pitied. This is the saddest, strangest thing I have read on Fark lately.
 
2011-08-03 04:34:35 PM
I need to know whether I should care about this. Are these the stuffed, soft cloth covered parents or are they made of chicken wire?
 
2011-08-03 04:36:54 PM
I'm hoping some single mom found it, washed the blasted thing and gave it to their 3 year old.

good luck getting it back now.


/farking whack-a-doos
 
2011-08-03 04:37:07 PM

But Wait There's More: brap: Reminds me of my favorite local bloggy outrage on Park Slope Parent or something or other a few years back.

http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/16665/
http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/29/15/29_15smartmom.html


To paraphrase Joe Bob Briggs...

Your Google-fu is strong.
 
2011-08-03 04:38:10 PM
White people problems.
 
2011-08-03 04:40:52 PM
Wonder if they could afford to pay a ransom?
 
2011-08-03 04:43:19 PM
I'd pay $5 to see a picture of this couple.
 
2011-08-03 04:44:19 PM

Rufus Lee King: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 600x400]


That is a great King story, and a terrible Borgnine movie.

/Have you seen my little monkey?
 
2011-08-03 04:44:52 PM
As never before on Fark, this story warrants:

What is this I don't even
 
2011-08-03 04:45:21 PM
LOL. That reminds me of my friend who lives in Shizuoka. Her sister-in-law's mother ran a small convenience store in Miyagi and no one has heard from her since the tsunami.

They put up signs just like that!
 
2011-08-03 04:45:44 PM
wads it Pleepleus?
 
2011-08-03 04:46:34 PM
IT'S A REAL MONKEY DOLL TO KWAME!
 
2011-08-03 04:48:29 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Does this look like a monkey to you?
 
2011-08-03 04:49:02 PM

ddam: White people problems.


As someone who is white I have never encountered a problem like this in my life. This is not white people problems, this is farking nutbar problems.

/hopes that the monkey gets sexually abused and the hipster/douche non-couple has to spend money on a sock puppet therapist.
 
2011-08-03 04:50:36 PM
was it
/dammitsomuch
 
2011-08-03 04:50:47 PM
On the scale of gayness from 1 to 100 that is about 873
 
2011-08-03 04:51:31 PM

TravisBickle62: On the scale of gayness from 1 to 100 that is about 873


So on a scale of 1-100 it rates Richard Simmons?
 
2011-08-03 04:52:08 PM
They're a little old to be hipsters. I wonder if there's a better term for them.

I also wonder if this will turn out to be either:

a.) A lame performance art project.
or
b.) A lame viral marketing campaign.


Occam's razor say that they're probably just pathetic old hipsters, but you never know.

(A quick search on LinkedIn finds a Bonni Marcus who calls herself an "Independent Performing Arts Professional", though...)
 
2011-08-03 04:52:18 PM
I read their ages... and I went WTF.. and I started to feel a little bit bad.... then I remembered this fellow I see in the supermarket:

He's 50ish and carries a semi realistic doll of a little girl. There is obviously some things wrong with him both physically and mentally, but he seems nice if a little off.

A while back a friend told me that his story was that he was injured and lost his infant daughter in a fire.

The next time I saw him I happened to be carrying my own little girl and he commented on how cute she was.. over and over.

I don't shop at that store much anymore, I don't enjoy having so much dust in my eyes.
 
2011-08-03 04:54:07 PM
What happened to a sense of pride. I mean seriously, if I was a full grown adult who treated a child's toy as my child I would be embarrassed to put a public ad in a paper admitting that I'm a friggin nut job. I may be from some hick-ass hillbilly 1 light town, but around here we at least keep the weird to ourselves!
 
2011-08-03 04:54:35 PM
From TFA: Marcus, 47, and Zinzi, 58, are not in a romantic relationship with each other, but they regard Bongo as the son they never had.

Whatever term applies to these people, "hipster" surely ain't it.
 
2011-08-03 04:54:40 PM

Sticky Hands: I read their ages... and I went WTF.. and I started to feel a little bit bad.... then I remembered this fellow I see in the supermarket:

He's 50ish and carries a semi realistic doll of a little girl. There is obviously some things wrong with him both physically and mentally, but he seems nice if a little off.

A while back a friend told me that his story was that he was injured and lost his infant daughter in a fire.

The next time I saw him I happened to be carrying my own little girl and he commented on how cute she was.. over and over.

I don't shop at that store much anymore, I don't enjoy having so much dust in my eyes.


Cool story bro!
 
2011-08-03 04:54:58 PM

NYRBill: wads it Pleepleus?


Drink!
 
2011-08-03 04:55:50 PM
I wanted to punch them harder and harder in the face after each sentence I read in that article...
 
2011-08-03 04:56:21 PM
Bongo got smart, and is joining his brethren rising up to claim their planet...
 
2011-08-03 04:57:24 PM
I knocked up a girl and thought i would do the right thing, so i moved to Park Slope.
Never in my life have I seen more snowflakes in the middle of the summer.

I have to wait an extra thirty minutes in line because a newfangled marm wants to give her son the chance to count out the money for the groceries.

I have been run over by jogging strollers in prospect park.

I have been run over regular strollers on 7th ave.

I met a mom who wouldn't tell people the gender of her child (big secret, no one ever gets to know).

In fairness though, it's a quick trainride to work from here, and there are enough shops and restaurants to keep me occupied for the next year. The park is the nicest i've been to outside central park, and fat mike just opened up a place down the block.
 
2011-08-03 04:57:25 PM
s3.thisnext.com
 
2011-08-03 04:58:30 PM

Mrs. Nussbaum's Credit Card!: TravisBickle62: On the scale of gayness from 1 to 100 that is about 873

So on a scale of 1-100 it rates Richard Simmons?


I know I've told you this before but I just wanted to remind you that your Fark handle is fantastic.
/you've won a free OVEN MITT!
 
2011-08-03 04:58:55 PM
Came into this thread, did a Control+F and typed in Kwame.

Was not disappointed.
 
2011-08-03 05:03:36 PM

ToxicMunkee: I wish the article had a picture of these two geniuses.


26.media.tumblr.com
 
2011-08-03 05:04:26 PM
Got damn you so much for making me read the article, it was much better in my mind's eye.

Hopefully this is irono-postering's death knell.
 
2011-08-03 05:04:32 PM
www.stripcreator.com
 
2011-08-03 05:04:46 PM
if we looking for monkey
him name is bongo tan monkey
we lost our monkey
224-3049
Love, Bonni and Jack
P.S. we'll find our monkey
Who took our monkey
Who found our monkey
36 5th Avenue
 
2011-08-03 05:05:30 PM

Mrs. Nussbaum's Credit Card!: ddam: White people problems.

As someone who is white I have never encountered a problem like this in my life. This is not white people problems, this is farking nutbar problems.

/hopes that the monkey gets sexually abused and the hipster/douche non-couple has to spend money on a sock puppet therapist.


Is the therapist a sock puppet, too?

/Kudos on the use of "nutbar."
 
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