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The unyielding seat of Rosa Parks, Usama to bring down the Jets in New York, and Alex Trebek's can of whoopass: Fark's favorite headlines from 7/24 - 7/30 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-08-02 5:28:07 PM, edited 2011-08-02 5:36:29 PM (12 comments) | Permalink

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3572 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Aug 2011 at 5:53 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



As I mentioned last week, we're changing around the Headline of the Year contest this year. Instead of going January through the first couple weeks of December, and then compressing all of the work into the last two weeks of the year (not really fun for me), we're changing the contest to run December through November, so we can have it all wrapped up by December 15 or so. I might do a callback thread on the final contest between Christmas and New Year's Eve, but I'm going to try really hard this year to have the 2011 Headline of the Year contests finalized by December 15.

To that end, I'm getting the Headline of the Year contest preliminaries sorted out months earlier this year. If you have Totalfark, we already have active voting threads up for December 2010 and for January 2011. I should have Feb 2011 up later this week. I'm planning on setting up the quarterly thread voting for everybody in November this year, so keep your eyes peeled.

That's all for now. A few of you offered help last week, and I appreciate that. For anybody that is interested in helping me slog through the basic setup stuff, feel free to sent me a note via email and I'll get back to you. Thanks again, and enjoy this week's batch of headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-24 to Sat 2011-07-30:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Gay Pakistani Muslim poet dead at 64 after a long battle with irony    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Two injured in nudist camp water scooter crash. First responders describe being greeted by a horrific scene, but say the actual injuries weren't serious    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Los Angeles traffic officer terminated for appearing in porn film. Also fired were pizza delivery man, pool boy, three secretaries    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Do your own hernia surgery with a butter knife? Suture self    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Dog stops sexual assault of owner. It must have gotten tired    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Six baby gorillas being rehabilitated after alleged poaching incident. You give an ape an egg and a pan of water and all hell breaks loose    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Preschoolers spontaneously employ the scientific method. At least until someone jingles some keys    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  U.S. Intelligence: Al-Qaeda is near collapse. (see also: Mission Accomplished, Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction, Bay of Pigs)    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Diehard rice thrives after tsunami. Yippie ki yay, paddy farmer    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man kills flamingos ducks cops. Put commas wherever you like    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Newly found essay by Rosa Parks reveals she was nearly raped in 1931. Historians now confirm it was the first time she refused to give up her seat to a white man    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  The 2006 USC football team is nearly reassembled in Seattle. Granted, this time they have a lower salary cap    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Oakland Raiders hire a grandmother as a cheerleader. But it's not as bad as it sounds, because like most Raiders fans, she became a grandmother at only 37    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Browns sign Usama, expected to help them bring down Jets in New York    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Here's a chess set that really helps you focus on your game--it's composed entirely of Canon and Nikon lenses. Bishop to ƒ/8    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  MS-DOS turns 30 today. C:\OFFLAWN.COM    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Gamer died doing what he loved: sitting on his ass for over 12 hours at a time until blood clots formed in his legs and traveled to his lungs    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Amy Winehouse leaves drug addicted ex-husband out of will, knowing any money to him would be in vein    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Answer: Alex Trebek snapped his Achilles tendon while trying to open this object on a fleeing burglar. Question: What is a can of whoopass?    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Theater chains cancel showings of rave-culture documentary "The Electric Daisy Carnival Experience" after a near riot when the film was shown once once once once once once once once once once once once once    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Boehner, Reid work on partisan debt plans. So far, plan includes Reid giving Boehner two of his Railroads, Atlantic Avenue, Ventnor Avenue and Marvin Gardens plus a Get Out of Jail Free Card in exchange for Boardwalk and $300    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Sarah Palin to be keynote speaker at an Iowa Labor Day rally. Because if anyone knows about being in labor, it's the Palins    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Obama invoking Reagan during his primetime address doesn't hold water because every time Reagan raised taxes, the Democrats tricked him into it, a fact he regretted until he died on top of a mountain saving Mother Teresa from a grizzly bear  


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Ford profit up 22%. CHECK ENGINE    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  United States considering a ban on trade with Iceland. Americans now wonder where they're going to get quality walrus blubber    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Ready-to-eat chicken sold at Dollar General stores has been recalled. One hopes this doesn't affect the impeccable reputation for high food standards Americans have come to expect from Dollar General    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


12 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2011-08-02 06:09:03 PM  
"I should have Feb 2011 up later this week. I'm planning on setting up the quarterly thread voting for everybody in November this year, so keep your eyes peeled."

WHO will have February up later this week? EH?! EH!?
 
2011-08-02 06:15:44 PM  

TheReverendLei: "I should have Feb 2011 up later this week. I'm planning on setting up the quarterly thread voting for everybody in November this year, so keep your eyes peeled."

WHO will have February up later this week? EH?! EH!?


Oh, are you offering to also do all of the HTML formatting and set up the thread with voting enabled and put in all 40-50 posts? Because I can hook you up, brother.
 
2011-08-02 06:23:07 PM  
My vote's for the Browns/Usama headline. I thought that was great and I don't even like baseball.
 
2011-08-02 07:00:23 PM  

Unfreakable: Oh, are you offering to also do all of the HTML formatting and set up the thread with voting enabled and put in all 40-50 posts? Because I can hook you up, brother.


:P That's not THAT much, I used to do web-design on the side, and it would give me an excuse to finally have a green-lit thread.
 
2011-08-02 07:02:39 PM  

fusillade762: My vote's for the Browns/Usama headline. I thought that was great and I don't even like baseball.


You bastard
 
2011-08-02 07:18:21 PM  

TheReverendLei: :P That's not THAT much, I used to do web-design on the side, and it would give me an excuse to finally have a green-lit thread.


Actually it's not difficult at all, it's just time-consuming. It's pasting the headline and the link into the format to make the headline large and the right shade of green, and the link smaller, clickable, and a faded gray so it's visible, but doesn't detract from the headline itself.
 
2011-08-02 07:20:21 PM  
Took a while to tweak the code just right:

<font color="#008000"><big><b>headline</b></big></font>

<a href="link1" target="_blank"><small><font color="#808080">link2</font></small></a>
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-08-02 07:53:48 PM  
It's pasting the headline and the link into the format to make the headline large and the right shade of green, and the link smaller, clickable, and a faded gray so it's visible, but doesn't detract from the headline itself.

I assumed Mike and the gang had coded up a widget that did all that automatically. Isn't the HotW list autogenerated?
 
2011-08-02 08:49:42 PM  

Unfreakable: TheReverendLei: "I should have Feb 2011 up later this week. I'm planning on setting up the quarterly thread voting for everybody in November this year, so keep your eyes peeled."

WHO will have February up later this week? EH?! EH!?

Oh, are you offering to also do all of the HTML formatting and set up the thread with voting enabled and put in all 40-50 posts? Because I can hook you up, brother.


I'd be willing to help...

/for a TF subscription
//after I get moved into my new digs and get intartubes hooked up
///and get settled in @ new job
////as long as I get a slashie bonus
 
2011-08-02 09:56:52 PM  
There should be a 'I submitted this with a better headline of the year' category this year.

/seemed clever until I typed it out
//um... balls
 
2011-08-02 10:21:23 PM  
There should be more color options. I'd shell out a few bucks for a tee with my Browns headline on it if I could actually get the t-shirt in brown or orange.
 
2011-08-03 11:52:54 AM  

CavalierEternal: There should be more color options. I'd shell out a few bucks for a tee with my Browns headline on it if I could actually get the t-shirt in brown or orange.


I'd buy this.
 
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