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The unyielding seat of Rosa Parks, Usama to bring down the Jets in New York, and Alex Trebek's can of whoopass: Fark's favorite headlines from 7/24 - 7/30
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-08-02 5:28:07 PM, edited 2011-08-02 5:36:29 PM (12 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog, Alex Trebek, Rosa Parks, New York, Farkers, geeks, Headline Shirts, First man or woman
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3564 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Aug 2011 at 5:53 PM (3 years ago) | | share: more»
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As I mentioned last week, we're changing around the Headline of the Year contest this year. Instead of going January through the first couple weeks of December, and then compressing all of the work into the last two weeks of the year (not really fun for me), we're changing the contest to run December through November, so we can have it all wrapped up by December 15 or so. I might do a callback thread on the final contest between Christmas and New Year's Eve, but I'm going to try really hard this year to have the 2011 Headline of the Year contests finalized by December 15.
To that end, I'm getting the Headline of the Year contest preliminaries sorted out months earlier this year. If you have Totalfark, we already have active voting threads up for December 2010 and for January 2011. I should have Feb 2011 up later this week. I'm planning on setting up the quarterly thread voting for everybody in November this year, so keep your eyes peeled.
That's all for now. A few of you offered help last week, and I appreciate that. For anybody that is interested in helping me slog through the basic setup stuff, feel free to sent me a note via email and I'll get back to you. Thanks again, and enjoy this week's batch of headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-24 to Sat 2011-07-30:
Gay Pakistani Muslim poet dead at 64 after a long battle with irony
Two injured in nudist camp water scooter crash. First responders describe being greeted by a horrific scene, but say the actual injuries weren't serious
Los Angeles traffic officer terminated for appearing in porn film. Also fired were pizza delivery man, pool boy, three secretaries
Do your own hernia surgery with a butter knife? Suture self
Dog stops sexual assault of owner. It must have gotten tired
Six baby gorillas being rehabilitated after alleged poaching incident. You give an ape an egg and a pan of water and all hell breaks loose
Preschoolers spontaneously employ the scientific method. At least until someone jingles some keys
U.S. Intelligence: Al-Qaeda is near collapse. (see also: Mission Accomplished, Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction, Bay of Pigs)
Diehard rice thrives after tsunami. Yippie ki yay, paddy farmer
Man kills flamingos ducks cops. Put commas wherever you like
Newly found essay by Rosa Parks reveals she was nearly raped in 1931. Historians now confirm it was the first time she refused to give up her seat to a white man
The 2006 USC football team is nearly reassembled in Seattle. Granted, this time they have a lower salary cap
Oakland Raiders hire a grandmother as a cheerleader. But it's not as bad as it sounds, because like most Raiders fans, she became a grandmother at only 37
Browns sign Usama, expected to help them bring down Jets in New York
Here's a chess set that really helps you focus on your game--it's composed entirely of Canon and Nikon lenses. Bishop to ƒ/8
MS-DOS turns 30 today. C:\OFFLAWN.COM
Gamer died doing what he loved: sitting on his ass for over 12 hours at a time until blood clots formed in his legs and traveled to his lungs
Amy Winehouse leaves drug addicted ex-husband out of will, knowing any money to him would be in vein
Answer: Alex Trebek snapped his Achilles tendon while trying to open this object on a fleeing burglar. Question: What is a can of whoopass?
Theater chains cancel showings of rave-culture documentary "The Electric Daisy Carnival Experience" after a near riot when the film was shown once once once once once once once once once once once once once
Boehner, Reid work on partisan debt plans. So far, plan includes Reid giving Boehner two of his Railroads, Atlantic Avenue, Ventnor Avenue and Marvin Gardens plus a Get Out of Jail Free Card in exchange for Boardwalk and $300
Sarah Palin to be keynote speaker at an Iowa Labor Day rally. Because if anyone knows about being in labor, it's the Palins
Obama invoking Reagan during his primetime address doesn't hold water because every time Reagan raised taxes, the Democrats tricked him into it, a fact he regretted until he died on top of a mountain saving Mother Teresa from a grizzly bear
Ford profit up 22%. CHECK ENGINE
United States considering a ban on trade with Iceland. Americans now wonder where they're going to get quality walrus blubber
Ready-to-eat chicken sold at Dollar General stores has been recalled. One hopes this doesn't affect the impeccable reputation for high food standards Americans have come to expect from Dollar General
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