If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Fisherman finds brick of cocaine, snorts some, runs with scissors, dies. Sheriff's Office: "It certainly is never safe to ingest any substance if you do not know what the substance is or what the potency of the substance might be"   (keysnet.com) divider line 51
    More: Florida, sheriffs, boaters, cocaine, Merritt Island  
•       •       •

7855 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jul 2011 at 8:58 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-07-29 09:01:10 PM  
Pointy.
 
2011-07-29 09:01:36 PM  
dangerous catch indeed
 
2011-07-29 09:01:54 PM  
Holy crap. I got nothing but this-

farking floridians... LOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOOLOLOLOL
 
2011-07-29 09:03:07 PM  
Stupidity: Keeping my profession busy since 1972.
 
2011-07-29 09:06:17 PM  

hardinparamedic: Stupidity: Keeping my profession busy since 1972.


Help . I am so very scared ?
 
2011-07-29 09:06:58 PM  
Darwin strikes again!
 
2011-07-29 09:07:31 PM  
This is why you MUST watch "1000 Ways to Die" on a regular basis. They ran the episode recently where the dumbass luggage thief drank a bottle of what he thought was smuggled Jamaican rum which turned out to be smuggled Jamaican cocaine: 100% pure and cut with kerosene. Guy died after consuming the equivalent of 3.5 ounces of pure coke.

Bet this poor fool did something similar. either that, or he snorted raw insecticide, and turned his brain into jelly.
 
2011-07-29 09:07:57 PM  
Seasons I'v Withered: hardinparamedic: Stupidity: Keeping my profession busy since 1972.

Help . I am so very scared ?


Relax. It only hurts for a second. Well, much longer if your last words were "Hold my beer and watch this".
 
2011-07-29 09:08:28 PM  
Brick of cocaine "found" by fishermen? Seems fishy...
 
2011-07-29 09:12:50 PM  

chaoticcrash: Holy crap. I got nothing but this-

farking floridians... LOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOOLOLOLOL


Yeah, this story right here, this is the epitome of the Florida tag. In the future, if some noob asks why Florida deserves its own tag, someone should just point them back to this thread.
 
2011-07-29 09:13:17 PM  

schwanjoe: Brick of cocaine "found" by fishermen? Seems fishy...


Not really. Down along the Gulf Coast, so many smugglers dump their cargoes, or get shot down by the Coast Guard, the fishermen and swamp trash call it "square grouper". Apparently there's quite a secondary trade down in the Keys and over in Louisiana, you know, go fishing for fish, catch a few square grouper, sell your legit catch at the docks, sell your "other" catch under the docks, party all weekend...
 
2011-07-29 09:13:18 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Approves of this advice.
 
2011-07-29 09:14:24 PM  
I would have said, should I have been the sheriff, "Remember kids, it's never safe to run with scissors"
 
2011-07-29 09:15:54 PM  
FTFA: Thomas Swindal, 53, and his brother Kenneth were trolling in about 200 feet of water

Heh, sounds like Fark
 
2011-07-29 09:15:55 PM  
Manitol suspiciously dodging questions from the press.

Reiteration:
img.diytrade.com
 
2011-07-29 09:16:34 PM  
There is no bag limit on square grouper, but you do need to keep your mouth shut.

/enjoy responsibly.
 
2011-07-29 09:17:32 PM  
I always suspected fishermen did drugs all the time. Then I watched Deadliest Catch and I was sure of it. How else are you going to work for 34 hours straight?
 
2011-07-29 09:19:05 PM  
Instead of snorting it yourself, here's some solid advice (new window).
 
2011-07-29 09:31:15 PM  
Man, that was some good blow.
 
2011-07-29 09:32:25 PM  
thenateman

I always suspected fishermen did drugs all the time. Then I watched Deadliest Catch and I was sure of it. How else are you going to work for 34 hours straight?

Those guys should be issued methamphetamine with their fishing licenses.
 
2011-07-29 09:38:32 PM  

chaoticcrash: Holy crap. I got nothing but this-

farking floridians... LOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOOLOLOLOL


Florida tag: I like it cause it makes me look really sane!
 
2011-07-29 09:38:54 PM  

CygnusDarius: Instead of snorting it yourself, here's some solid advice (new window).


Damn beat me to it.
 
2011-07-29 09:43:08 PM  
"Aw, Sherrif! We just missed him!"
 
2011-07-29 09:50:24 PM  
Who will accept the Darwin award on his behalf?
 
2011-07-29 09:53:11 PM  

CygnusDarius: Instead of snorting it yourself, here's some solid advice (new window).


This.
Of course Dead Brother snuck off and opened/tried their find -- Surviving Brother would be in hot water, if only with their mother, if he admitted to encouraging/allowing (now) Dead Brother.

/Came here to see if Darwin's name had cropped up yet.... leaving satisfied.
//Off to see what the Bob Barker is up to.
///I want a Gojira so so sooooo bad. Whale Wars.
 
2011-07-29 10:10:52 PM  
Its like they're LARPing a Carl Hiasaan novel down here, I-tell-you-what.
 
2011-07-29 10:12:37 PM  
He "began to run around the boat, throw things in the water and even gaffed the engine, which fell off the boat and sank. He continued acting strangely, running around with knives and pliers, so Kenneth Swindal threw all the sharp objects, as well as the package, off the boat. They had no means of communication -- Thomas Swindal had tossed their cell phone off the boat."

I'm pretty sure the #1 rule of boating is to not throw everything off the boat.

Also: dude knew how to farking party!
 
2011-07-29 10:14:29 PM  
Well I was workin' on my farm
Bout 1982...
 
2011-07-29 10:20:58 PM  
I'm really wondering what this shiat was. It could have been good ole meth but I'm thinking maybe some of the new meth analogs like mephcathinone. That's the shiat in 'bath salts'. In it's pure form it is pretty heavy from what I hear.
 
2011-07-29 10:25:18 PM  
Wow, sampling the square grouper is never a good idea, ever. Some places here call that "swamp weed" (as opposed to 'ditch weed'), and it's pretty much understood that grass bales that have been soaking in the sea for a while are about as healthy as Drano.

Cocaine bales? Even worse-- as a direct import, that shiat was probably still uncut & pure. I bet the soundtrack to the brother in the boat went something like this... (^)
 
2011-07-29 10:25:57 PM  
Moral of the story:

Never fish in bat country.
 
2011-07-29 10:30:34 PM  
sigh.

some people have to go and make quality drugs look bad.
 
2011-07-29 10:58:25 PM  
thespindrifter 2011-07-29 10:25:18 PM

I bet the soundtrack to the brother in the boat went something like this...


Was expecting Yakity Sax
 
2011-07-29 11:01:19 PM  
that's why you do a gummer 1st
 
2011-07-29 11:12:33 PM  
I was bored one day in High School and for laughs I talked some kid I barely knew into believing that I, brilliant chemistry student that I was, was making LSD in the chem lab. He was ready for me to give him some and he'd have taken it. That's when I realized druggies are dangers to themselves and probably everyone around them.
 
2011-07-29 11:27:07 PM  
Q: What did Amy Winehouse and Rock Hudson have in common ?

A: They both got hold of some bad crack.
 
2011-07-29 11:35:50 PM  
He had a choice between selling it for a million bux vs snorting some and dying.

Like someone giving you a million dollars, and you burn it and catch on fire
 
2011-07-29 11:37:47 PM  

jjorsett: I was bored one day in High School and for laughs I talked some kid I barely knew into believing that I, brilliant chemistry student that I was, was making LSD in the chem lab. He was ready for me to give him some and he'd have taken it. That's when I realized druggies are dangers to themselves and probably everyone around them.


and asshole lairs are asshole liars
 
2011-07-29 11:42:23 PM  

CygnusDarius: Instead of snorting it yourself, here's some solid advice (new window).


Just stopped in to make sure the Rev was represented. Thank you for your good work.
 
2011-07-30 01:09:41 AM  
I too, came for the good Reverend.
 
2011-07-30 01:37:01 AM  

redsquid: Carl Hiasaan


When it comes to Carl Hiasaan, art imitates life. Such is art in Florida.
 
2011-07-30 01:38:33 AM  
Square Grouper. Man, I've not seen any of those in years down here. I remember watching it wash up on shore. Then there was Everglades City. That place was crazy 10-20 years ago. Still plenty of square grouper moving through there today, but they've learned to keep their mouths shut down there.
 
2011-07-30 02:28:21 AM  

thespindrifter: Wow, sampling the square grouper is never a good idea, ever. Some places here call that "swamp weed" (as opposed to 'ditch weed'), and it's pretty much understood that grass bales that have been soaking in the sea for a while are about as healthy as Drano.

Cocaine bales? Even worse-- as a direct import, that shiat was probably still uncut & pure.


If it was old, yes. If it was from the last year or two, it's now being cut with levamisole straight from the processing plants in Columbia. Still pretty potent, but I think pure cocaine has become a myth, sadly.

I can just imagine what goes through the mind of someone who puts down his bud light to take a hit of swamp weed.
 
2011-07-30 02:32:42 AM  

Oh_Enough_Already: davynelson: sigh.

some people have to go and make quality drugs look bad.

This.

Always a try gummer before you hoover anything.


Or at least give it to some stray dog.
 
2011-07-30 02:58:50 AM  
I smell Darwin Award.
 
2011-07-30 04:22:08 AM  
I used to be neighbors with a chick who was a main distributor here in Austin. the stuff came here straight from mexico. and she would chip stuff right off the the brick. she was a gay mexican woman who lived with another gal. very nice lady. when I moved I threw her number away and literally at least a dozen of my friends cried out in agony when they heard the news.

/she was wicked low key. you never would know how much money this couple had.
/I was too young and way too poor for that stuff.
 
2011-07-30 05:05:04 AM  

Gyrfalcon: This is why you MUST watch "1000 Ways to Die" on a regular basis. They ran the episode recently where the dumbass luggage thief drank a bottle of what he thought was smuggled Jamaican rum which turned out to be smuggled Jamaican cocaine: 100% pure and cut with kerosene. Guy died after consuming the equivalent of 3.5 ounces of pure coke.

Bet this poor fool did something similar. either that, or he snorted raw insecticide, and turned his brain into jelly.


How can it be 100% pure if it's cut with kerosene?
 
2011-07-30 08:20:48 AM  
Look on the bright side.

He doesn't live in Florida anymore
 
2011-07-30 10:55:28 AM  
Bales of Cocaine (new window)
 
2011-07-30 11:12:36 AM  
For you non-Floridians: Square grouper is weed. Square grouper is not cocaine. The more you know....
 
2011-07-30 12:51:09 PM  

Keys dude: For you non-Floridians: Square grouper is weed. Square grouper is not cocaine. The more you know....


Yeah. Cocaine is Rectangular Snapper. Douches.
 
Displayed 51 of 51 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report