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(AskMen)   Ten ways to start a vacation fling   ( divider line
    More: Advice  
•       •       •

28209 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2003 at 3:41 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

327 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-09-08 05:49:36 PM  

Weird, I've said that before, although usually it's just "Can we wait an hour?"

It seems stupid to order a soup or vegetables or anything if you are not hungry.

I understand your point of view though, it's creepy to sit with someone and just have them just watch you eat.
2003-09-08 05:49:59 PM  

. Seriously...ask anyone you all know that's been married for a long period of time, and I'm talking more than 7 years, and ask them where they met.

I know a couple that not only met in a bar, but got married in one as well. They are still married after 35 years. cousin married a guy she met in a bar, they have two great kids and are still going strong after 10 years.
2003-09-08 05:50:03 PM  

The guys youre describing are tools or frat guys.

Im an A$$hole, but I dont say dumb shiate like that. Theres being childish and mysoginist and liking a good time and being a gentlemen.

Its called game.
2003-09-08 05:52:40 PM  
Man would I like to glaze her face

A real man adds "like a donut" to that.

/mmmm, krispy kreme
2003-09-08 05:52:53 PM  
Disease --

ah, nothing wrong with "Can we wait an hour?"

Depends on the situation and the guy, I guess. Or maybe I'm just wierd. but, yes, a little buddah belly to rub is cute. skinny guys have their plusses too. their bodies are so hard and smooth. . fap fap fap fap . . oh, er. . sorry. what were we talking about? dieting? dieting is for pussies.

/Can girls use the word fap?
2003-09-08 05:53:38 PM  
a real man says it loud enough for her and her friends to hear. She won't like you, but her friends will get wet!

/loser; never got any until marriage
2003-09-08 05:53:52 PM  

A Porshe is a fine piece of machinery, but it creates and image of being well the kind of guy haikupoet assumed you to be.

I have female friends who wont date guys who drive "those kinds" of cars because they think he's a jerk or it will reflect poorly on them. It sounds dumb I know but there it is.

You drive that Porshe and be proud...or tell the girl its your buddies and he's in Europe.
2003-09-08 05:55:04 PM  
You can disagree all you want. I was stating what my impressions are when I see a guy driving a Porsche and wearing flash clothes. OBVIOUSLY the impressions are derived from stereotypes. I'm not impressed by a Porsche alone. If I met a guy without his Porsche and it seemed he was a good fit and I later found out he had one I'd certainly be keen to go for a spin. But if a guy is driving his Porsche (or tricked out Civic or whatever spunk-mobile) and slows down next to me on the sidewalk and deliberately cranks his stereo and pats the car door while leering at me well then...

Is your significant other with you exclusively because of your car, your clothes and your job, or do you show her respect and treat her well? If you were to lose the car, the clothes and your job tomorrow do you think she'd stick around? (and I'm not being accusatory; from other posts you've made you sound like what has become in this thread, a "balanced" guy).

And I didn't say I didn't believe in personal grooming and dressing well. But I'm just as likely to be impressed by a guy who can put together a cool vintage T with some worn out jeans and a nice hair cut as I am by a guy in a $7000 Armani suit. Both can be jerks. Both can be nice guys. However, I'd tend to be suspicious of the guy in the $7000 suit. But remember, that's me talking.

Point: you can't disregard first impressions, nor can you invest your entire stake in them. If you're talking about a long term relationship, it has to be something that can stand on its own without all the consumer culture add-ons, otherwise it isn't going to last when the bottom falls out of the stock market.
2003-09-08 05:56:30 PM  
So much truth on just one thread. Sorry "balanced girls" but it is stone cold truth that nice guys finish last. The extreme d*ck, however, ends up with the nut jobs. There is a happy medium there to be achieved between hearing from the fairer sex: "you're nice and I just want to be friends" and "I'll fark you right here on the dance floor with everyone watching and then go home and film you farking my nubile roomate." For the long haul guys don't want to hear either. The latter is nice to hear on vacation, though. From my experiences I got no play when I was every girls friend and farked some seriously disturbed hot chicks when I acted like a veiny-cocked stud. Both situations sucked. Dating was much more enjoyable when I was still the "nice guy" I am at heart but every once in a while I pulled some attitude. Lots of "balanced" girls back then. This is the gospel according to FUM and it is unquestionable in its authenticity.
2003-09-08 05:56:53 PM  
No matter what they tell you or even think to themselves, women are drawn to nice cars. They may stop to tell you that you're an egotistical jerk who is compensating, but they noticed you. Just don't tell me that they hate guys with nice cars. It insults my intelligence!

/just like most guys on Fark are ripped and rich
2003-09-08 05:58:56 PM  
All I can say is, be yourself, be neat and self-confident,
have a nice clean place to go back to, and you're set-
cook her breakfast in the morning and she's really interested. break away from the askmen wolfpack and
go hunting for yourself- that takes self confidence and
not everyone can just go out and strike up a conversation-
especially if they're good looking.

too bad last winter's fling ended in her walking out three
months later for no real good reason- she couldn't tell
the whole truth about anything at all. which hurt a whole lot'cause she was the most athletic, best looking woman i'd ever been with.

I drive a modest truck because it's the only way to haul my tools, wakebards, bikes,skis, and boats from one place
to another- not because of the way it looks. I'll look
at the guys in their ten-foot tall pickups blowing past
me and literally say "dude- sorry 'bout your dick"...I
mean, what's the point, especially if it never ever touches
a dirt road?
Debt: don't have any. don't have much money either, but
everything in the world I have is paid for already.

so, RUTA: when we gonna race to the top of the mountain?
2003-09-08 05:59:23 PM  
Any girl who says she doesn't like to hang out with girls only does so for one reason - to get attention.

I don't think that's true. I just don't like most girls.
I have four really close girl friends, but the vast majority of my friends are guys, including my boyfriend.
I was raised around only boys (pretty much...single dad, brother, brother's friends). I just prefer their company. And, like JaxGator said, they tend to pull a lot of bullshiat.

And, like JaxGator said, most farkettes are exceptions. I"d hand out with Farkettes anyday!

ThankYouMaskedMan, I don't think men have been emasculated as much as you say. Frankly, I find that very unattractive.
2003-09-08 05:59:53 PM  
As long as you aren't trying to get laid right-now or tonight, it pays to be yourself and lean on the sense of humor. I wouldn't want to be in the same room with a chick who makes her decisions based on my car/clothes/money for more than 6 hours anyway, so it all works out.

Getting some tonight from a stranger is where it pays to be a cock-swinging mysoginsit.
2003-09-08 06:01:07 PM  

That type of neutered guy just annoys me. The so-called 'nice guy' thinks exactly the same thing the so-called "jerk" does when they see the same attractive woman. "Would I like to fark that" Only difference is the jerk will go up and talk to her. I am so far from being anyone with "game" as I am a complete meathead and so out of tune with being sensetive it's scary. But whenever I do see someone I am attracted to I walk up and say "Hi, my name is ______?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it fizzles. Either way it's no big deal.....just make the effort.
2003-09-08 06:01:25 PM  
it also pays to spellcheck "mysoginist"
"Ms. Saigonist"
2003-09-08 06:03:13 PM  
I used to be a nice guy, then I turned to the dark side of the force...

And it was cokewhores and one-night stands for all!
And it stopped being fun a long time ago, and the nice girls are taken. Now I have to wait for them to get divorced and coach their kids in soccer.

Now I meet nice girls and try to be their friends and hit on their slutty friends.
2003-09-08 06:05:13 PM  
This is not fun anymore. Let's post our favorite metaphors for genitalia!

I'll start.

Meat curtain.
2003-09-08 06:05:44 PM  
11) Tell her you're a member of

Go home alone.
2003-09-08 06:09:09 PM  
Homercles cares not for spelling!

It only takes effort. Ive read a bunch of those "how to meet chicks" BS books...and the whole theme to every book is to have confidence and dont act like a douchebag. Every freaking one. Theres no "Men are from Mars" crap, just three things:

1. Be cool
2. Act civilized
3. And treat her like a smart, normal human being

And when you drink, throw all that crap out the window and act like a mushroom dropping Viking!
2003-09-08 06:09:31 PM  
dieting is for pussies.
Yes, I trained myself to just feel like crap if I eat too much. Problem solved, although people think it's freaky that I always end up with a doggie bag.

Can girls use the word fap?

Sure, why not.
2003-09-08 06:10:18 PM  
Bearded Clam
2003-09-08 06:14:25 PM  
skiinstructor Sorry man! I currently have a snowboard instructor but I'll let you know if he hits a tree! The practical truck for hauling gear sounds swell.

"Hi, my name is ______?"

and RegDunlop has just hit upon what I think is the best pick up line, bar none.

Myrna Perhaps there should be an international Farkette party somewhere like Vegas (a local one would probably attract maybe 2 gals) over a weekend with the second night being a regular Fark party. Then the poor Farkers wouldn't have the usual sausage fest to go to!
2003-09-08 06:15:38 PM  
11. Angry Pirate

[image from too old to be available]

Women love pirates!
2003-09-08 06:20:07 PM  
The Right Honourable Member for Underpants
2003-09-08 06:20:44 PM  
Queen Pink
2003-09-08 06:21:07 PM  
pant hamster
2003-09-08 06:23:48 PM  
spam javelin
2003-09-08 06:26:22 PM  
purple helmetted warrior
2003-09-08 06:26:34 PM  
pink Darth Vader

(btw I'm cheating)

And leaving this thread, which lasted much longer than an thread ever should have! Thanks all for the laughs and the insights.
2003-09-08 06:27:44 PM  
Hatchet wound
2003-09-08 06:28:16 PM  
JOHNDX, you must be in Bitter Diatribe Mode. Could you show me where the Talk Nice button is?
2003-09-08 06:29:45 PM  

That's the strangest genitalia metaphor ever. And long too!
2003-09-08 06:33:18 PM  
Swampy, yeah, I thought of that the second I hit the Add Comment button. Oh well. Should make a 13 year old laugh. Or you. So, hey, at least I got that goin for me! =P
2003-09-08 06:36:31 PM  

You would be shocked at the truly basic nature of my humor, although I can occasionaly spin it in to something slightly cerebral.

At least my minor-thread jack worked for a while.


PS: Stem and Berries
2003-09-08 06:40:43 PM  

"I don't think men have been emasculated as much as you say. Frankly, I find that very unattractive."

But how would you know? Do they have some other good excuse for holding the wall up? Are they gay? Mother issues? Hate women?

Maybe all of these...and maybe if girls went up and asked we wouldnt have sites like

But until that magical day, lets give the nice guy some slack to work with and give him a break, better yet give him your number.

oh yeah

the promised land
2003-09-08 06:41:35 PM  

OK, I'll play. I heard this in a movie last night.


simple, straightforward, to the point.

2003-09-08 06:44:01 PM  
Instead of FAP for us ladies, I preferr... "Plucking the pink pearl at the bottom of the ocean"

And my favorite term for female genitalia is... "The Happy Place"

For men "Throbbing Python of Luuuuuuuv"

2003-09-08 06:44:50 PM  

Understated, yet clever. I commend your minimalist approach.

Well done!

2003-09-08 06:48:17 PM  
Oh! "Men" need a version of Cosmopolicrap these days?

Can't "those" sort of "men" just watch shows on the Bravo channel to get their inspiration?

2003-09-08 06:49:34 PM  
Woman are commodities to be bought and sold. That's the way they prefer to be treated.

They're masters of imitating human emotions but do not really experience them. They want equality while remaining inferior. 'Love' and 'hate' are but mildly different flavors of the same energy to them.

You may as well hit her instead of writing her a heartfelt poem. The stupid coont won't know the difference.

Commodities. All you can do with a woman is afford her.

That is all.
2003-09-08 06:53:42 PM  
/dives in sandbag bunker
2003-09-08 06:53:54 PM  
Well, Sir Chevron Food Mart, that's me in a nutshell. You've found me out. Now you must die.
2003-09-08 06:55:12 PM  
2003-09-08 06:58:55 PM  
Yep. All I really want is to woo a guy with my wit, sexy ears, and promises of having the hots for sweet, dorky, guys, have him come over to my place under the guise of getting lucky, then get him to fix my stopped up garbage disposal. God knows I can't get it to work.
2003-09-08 06:59:18 PM  
pork sword
2003-09-08 07:04:34 PM  
Your undecipherable character...

Isn't the correct usage "indecipherable"?
2003-09-08 07:11:50 PM  

Thank you, goodnight.

2003-09-08 07:22:10 PM  
kabar, funny.
2003-09-08 07:38:17 PM  
So, FarkerReef, your friend is gay?
2003-09-08 07:42:02 PM  
Don't forget the "Angry Pirate."
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