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(Slate)   Thomas the Imperialist Tank Engine   (slate.com) divider line 139
    More: Obvious, Thomas the Tank Engine, Animal Farm, Bob the Builder, political ideology, tank engines, Sir Topham Hatt  
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10912 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2011 at 5:08 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-07-26 05:44:41 PM  

Jixa: [i225.photobucket.com image 640x246]
All Aboard for Dachau, Auschwitz, and all camps in Eastern Sodor!


Sir Topham Fascist keeps it all running on time.
 
2011-07-26 05:45:36 PM  

JNowe: Don't forget sizeist - in the original stories, Sir Topham Hatt was known only as The Fat Controller.


Also, he tied bells in his hair for every victory, and never cut it except in defeat.
 
2011-07-26 05:46:09 PM  
www.worldculturepictorial.com

Goddamn I miss you man ;_;
 
2011-07-26 05:46:16 PM  

nopokerface: Working is now a negative attribute.

I think we're almost there, folks.



Yeah. it's a sad statement that being productive, in and of itself, is now considered "conservative", and undesirable.
 
2011-07-26 05:46:19 PM  

Jixa: [i225.photobucket.com image 640x246]
All Aboard for Dachau, Auschwitz, and all camps in Eastern Sodor!


Came for the Photoshop potential. Leaving satisfied.
 
2011-07-26 05:46:22 PM  
I've always thought of it as Uncle Thomas the Tank Engine. The conductors and railroad passengers were always white, the trains always had dark faces, and the way they treat the trains (who do all the work) is patronizing and obnoxious. I never liked my kids watching the show, especially after George Carlin left. I always felt like, "if George Carlin and Ringo put up with this, it must be okay."
 
2011-07-26 05:47:25 PM  
This is exactly the kind of essay I'd write at 6:30 in the morning to meet a 9:00 a.m. deadline after awakening in a pool of my own vomit in a hedge outside my dorm.
 
2011-07-26 05:52:05 PM  
" 'Wake up lazy bones! Do some hard work for a change!"


You have to admit that is pretty racist.
 
2011-07-26 05:53:10 PM  

Ken at Popehat: This is exactly the kind of essay I'd write at 6:30 in the morning to meet a 9:00 a.m. deadline after awakening in a pool of my own vomit in a hedge outside my dorm.


^^THIS^^
 
2011-07-26 05:57:43 PM  

fo_sho!: bighasbeen: I've never understood the appeal. WTF is the big deal about trains?

I'm 3 years old and they are AWESOME. I don't get the big deal with boobs.


What do boobs and toy trains have in common?

They're both for little guys, but daddies play with them too.
 
2011-07-26 05:59:09 PM  

IXI Jim IXI: I haven't seen a mexican face on the show


i.imgur.com
 
2011-07-26 06:00:59 PM  

DarnoKonrad: IXI Jim IXI: I haven't seen a mexican face on the show

[i.imgur.com image 468x377]


Tomás the Tank Engine?
 
2011-07-26 06:02:30 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: DarnoKonrad: IXI Jim IXI: I haven't seen a mexican face on the show

[i.imgur.com image 468x377]

Tomás the Tank Engine?


Conductors? We don't need no stinking conductors.
 
2011-07-26 06:05:05 PM  
When "Diesel" (that is his name; his caste merits no proper name) suggests that he might compete for this honor, Thomas laughs at him, saying, "I'm sure [Hatt] means a really useful steamy; you'll never be that!" When Diesel decides to prove Thomas wrong by stealing the jobi logs and pulling them himself, thus reinforcing all negative diesel stereotypes, he speeds dangerously out of control. Thomas, primarily concerned with saving the cargo, saves Diesel as he hangs off a cliff, but loses the wood. Thomas is unable to feel much pride in saving another's life and sighs balefully over the loss of such valuable timber. Sir Topham Hatt reinforces this perverse value system by bemoaning the loss of the wood, and publicly shames Diesel before sending him back to work in a dark tunnel. Did I mention that Diesel is black?

Hahahahahahahahahaha, this has got to be the stupidest article I've ever had the mispleasure of reading.

Hint: Diesel isn't hated because he's black, it's because he's an asshole.
 
2011-07-26 06:06:10 PM  

CheetahOlivetti: My 3-year old LOVES Thomas.


How is this a substantive argument? My grandfather loved lynching black people. But I would never go "People who are against racially motivated terrorist murder are wrong because Papa LOVED it"
 
2011-07-26 06:06:41 PM  
Article writer fails to check references. Thomas the Tank Engine is filled with Christian metaphor, of the good old Protestant, Calvinist variety. Wilbert Vere Awdry wrote The Railway Series upon which the Thomas & Friends stories are based. Also known as "Reverend W. Awdry", he was an Anglican priest.

themoreyouknow.jpg
 
2011-07-26 06:07:37 PM  
in.reuters.com

Uh, maybe a few trees planted close to the tracks might have helped
 
2011-07-26 06:09:59 PM  
They forgot to mention that the only female character I've ever seen on the show, Isabella the steam truck, spends the whole episode trying not to get too dirty in the mud.

My son is super into Thomas right now. He's 2 and a half.

I've always thought of the engines' desire to be useful as a desire to contribute, not as a means to quantify themselves. It's cute.

And Sir Topham Hatt can be a tough dictator, but he does care about the well-being of his engines. When Gordon starts talking about how Edward is old and should be retired, Hatt arranges an elaborate scheme to both humble Gordon and prove Edward's worth.
 
2011-07-26 06:12:00 PM  

smooshie: When "Diesel" (that is his name; his caste merits no proper name) suggests that he might compete for this honor, Thomas laughs at him, saying, "I'm sure [Hatt] means a really useful steamy; you'll never be that!" When Diesel decides to prove Thomas wrong by stealing the jobi logs and pulling them himself, thus reinforcing all negative diesel stereotypes, he speeds dangerously out of control. Thomas, primarily concerned with saving the cargo, saves Diesel as he hangs off a cliff, but loses the wood. Thomas is unable to feel much pride in saving another's life and sighs balefully over the loss of such valuable timber. Sir Topham Hatt reinforces this perverse value system by bemoaning the loss of the wood, and publicly shames Diesel before sending him back to work in a dark tunnel. Did I mention that Diesel is black?

Hahahahahahahahahaha, this has got to be the stupidest article I've ever had the mispleasure of reading.

Hint: Diesel isn't hated because he's black, it's because he's an asshole.


i.imgur.com
 
2011-07-26 06:13:08 PM  
The railroad is the last place you want individualistic workers. shiat has to function a certain way, and you don't get to decide to go grab the "special special" just because you're feeling really useful. You do what the Fat Controller tells you and nobody gets hurt.
 
2011-07-26 06:13:10 PM  

bighasbeen: I've never understood the appeal. WTF is the big deal about trains?


Many years ago I worked in a toy store, and at the time, due to budget cuts a local mental health facility was forced to close its doors. Toy store was in downtown of a mid-size town and the recently ejected from the mental health facility congregated in the central square. 3 of them would come in and stare at the train sets all day long. These were boxed up train sets, too, not out on display. We had to put a stop to it and hire security when one of them came in with a bowie knife and just started fondling it while staring at the trains. Wish I knew what was running through his mind then, but something really captivated those guys.
 
2011-07-26 06:15:05 PM  
 
2011-07-26 06:24:24 PM  

Ken at Popehat: This is exactly the kind of essay I'd write at 6:30 in the morning to meet a 9:00 a.m. deadline after awakening in a pool of my own vomit in a hedge outside my dorm


Heh, I once wrote a paper due at 2 PM in other classes from 9AM on. Got an A.

No vomit was involved, though. Well, by "no vomit" I mean there was a small amount.
 
2011-07-26 06:26:33 PM  
bighasbeen: I've never understood the appeal. WTF is the big deal about trains?

Trains are farking awesome. There is something attractive about brute force, and trains (well, locomotives) are all about oomph. They only do one thing, but they do that one thing really farking good: they take a whole fark-ton of something over here, and they put it over there. Not by using some sort of clever method, but by simply hooking up to it and forcing it down the tracks.
 
2011-07-26 06:28:32 PM  
Sounds (and reads) like more bullshiat from Slate.
 
2011-07-26 06:31:35 PM  

bighasbeen: I've never understood the appeal. WTF is the big deal about trains?


Ride the Durango-Silverton train in an open car and catch a hot ember in your eye. You'll know then.
 
2011-07-26 06:32:20 PM  

bighasbeen: I've never understood the appeal. WTF is the big deal about trains?


Trains are big, but not like building big. They are fast, but not airplane unbelievably fast. They're a mode of transport you can take from your earliest days- you get to go into it and then ride on it. You can buy scale models and make your own version of it. They are painted cool colors and they carry the things you buy. They have a mythology - the kindly old white-haired conductor, the coal man, the bellowing smoke, the caboose, all of it feeds into a child's desire to line things up (watch a kid with blocks sometime).

Last year, my father got my niece a train set to setup around our table for the holidays. She's too young to really set it up, but we did a nice big display - white felt for the snowy ground, little people figurines, christmas knickknacks from the Christmas Tree Store all around it. She made up stories about the people on the train, what the train was carrying (Toys was her favorite answer, but when he mom got a bad cold, she insisted it was carrying medicine then). She loved making it go faster and slower. For an early gift, we took her to a holiday train ride on a steam powered locomotive and she was enraptured the whole time watching the engine. It's a kind of romance that we don't seem to keep much past childhood, sadly.

There's absolutely no reason trains shouldn't be a young child's fascination - they've been that way for 150 years.

/loves trains too
 
2011-07-26 06:34:57 PM  

smooshie: When "Diesel" (that is his name; his caste merits no proper name)


Diesel is a proper name!

fc00.deviantart.net
 
2011-07-26 06:35:18 PM  
Teaching children to obey the rules, not stick out, not challenge authority, and not show the slightest hint of emotion or discord? Sounds very...well, English, really
 
2011-07-26 06:35:59 PM  
Contrabulous Flabtraption: Slate has a bunch of talented writers and provocative headlines. But man, every actual article they publish is retarded.

This. Totally this. It's like reading something from a little known university, obviousely written by somebody intelligent but so divorced from reality that one wonders if the writer really believes that shiat.
Well this serves as a post Breivik reminder that not only the extreme Right has it's loons. Oddly I was having a glance at Breivik's "manifesto" Link (new window) earlier and this kind of critical theory stuff exercises him a lot. He reckons it's a Gramsci esque plot to infiltrate or replace every facet of old culture with one more in line with Marxist goals. Stuff like this doesn't exactly help.

Anyway. Thomas the Tank Engine is like religion for little boys.
 
2011-07-26 06:38:21 PM  
You know who else liked trains?
 
2011-07-26 06:39:52 PM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: nopokerface: Working is now a negative attribute.

I think we're almost there, folks.

Yeah. it's a sad statement that being productive, in and of itself, is now considered "conservative", and undesirable.


Pretty much everyone values productivity. But if productivity is one's highest value, exceeding other values such as compassion and respect, then one is probably a conservative. NTTAWWT.
 
2011-07-26 06:40:11 PM  
I can over-analyze and find reactionary messages in the Smurf cartoons, too. Probably has been done already. In fact, didn't that show kinda glorify IngSoc, NewSpeak, Forever War and all that 1984 stuff?
 
2011-07-26 06:44:56 PM  

Kar98: I can over-analyze and find reactionary messages in the Smurf cartoons, too. Probably has been done already.


It's been done (tho' in jest) for Winnie the Pooh.
 
2011-07-26 06:46:46 PM  

beta_plus: You know who else liked trains?


www.glogster.com

He cornered the spice market by making the trains run on thyme.
 
2011-07-26 06:47:12 PM  
Yes, learning to be reliable and on-time is bad.
 
2011-07-26 06:48:42 PM  

alltandubh: Kar98: I can over-analyze and find reactionary messages in the Smurf cartoons, too. Probably has been done already.

It's been done (tho' in jest) for Winnie the Pooh.


Hmm, has been done for the Smurfs, too: Link (new window)
 
2011-07-26 06:51:21 PM  

stewmadness: Yes, learning to be reliable and on-time is bad.


Oh, that's exactly what I told my bosses at the Whole Foods.
 
Ant
2011-07-26 06:52:29 PM  

drewblank: I've always thought of it as Uncle Thomas the Tank Engine



Holy crap! I thought I was the only one. They're all like the slaves in Uncle Tom's Cabin. Sir Topham Hatt is the slave owner
 
2011-07-26 06:52:40 PM  
FTA: "Steamies" are better than "dirty diesels,"

I consider that phrase rather disturbing.
 
2011-07-26 06:53:20 PM  

Sticky Hands: stewmadness: Yes, learning to be reliable and on-time is bad.

Oh, that's exactly what I told my bosses at the Whole Foods.


You don't sound useful then either.
 
2011-07-26 06:54:33 PM  
I'm sure she must be being ironic.
 
2011-07-26 06:54:53 PM  

stewmadness: Sticky Hands: stewmadness: Yes, learning to be reliable and on-time is bad.

Oh, that's exactly what I told my bosses at the Whole Foods.

You don't sound useful then either.


*woooosh*
 
2011-07-26 06:55:03 PM  
www.theo.t.monkey.btinternet.co.uk

i1.sndcdn.com
 
2011-07-26 06:56:07 PM  
Man, that guy's a dumbass. Doesn't he realize what's going to happen when the trains revolt and hang Sir Topham Hatt? Less than two months, all the trains are homeless junkies sucking coal chutes for $5. Without Hatt's connections, they'll never get supplies. Starvation and death would soon follow. Sodor would slide from first-world to third-world in no time. The trains are smarter than that author - they just sit down, shut up, do what they're told, and let the aristocracy take care of them.
 
2011-07-26 06:59:43 PM  
I can't believe I wasted the time it took to read that drivel.

/My daughter loves Thomas
//Will always be weird hearing George Carlin narrate the older episodes
 
2011-07-26 07:03:18 PM  
What I've been able to gather is mostly, "I have no idea, but they're AWESOME!"

saintstryfe: Trains are big, but not like building big. They are fast, but not airplane unbelievably fast.


But this right here is why I don't understand the fascination. They're kind of old, but still being used so it's not that they are anachronisms. It seems like there are a bunch of things that do what locomotives do but better.
 
2011-07-26 07:05:57 PM  

Gordon Bennett: [www.theo.t.monkey.btinternet.co.uk image 249x260]


Is that first one from Viz?
 
2011-07-26 07:08:14 PM  
Author has a master's from Columbia, and apparently has not worked in the past seven years (if ever). I think I want my daughter kept as far that lady's ideals as possible, actually.
 
2011-07-26 07:24:45 PM  

smooshie: Hint: Diesel isn't hated because he's black, it's because he's an asshole.


But he's a black asshole, so it's obviously horribly racist.


/what the fark have the writers at Slate been smoking recently?
 
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