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(Some Guy)   Jerk move: parking across two parking spaces. Double jerk move: parking across two handicap spaces. Jerk trifecta: starting a fight when confronted   (www2.turnto10.com) divider line 261
    More: Dumbass, impersonating a police officer, elected officials  
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13997 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2011 at 8:26 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



261 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-07-26 07:18:34 AM
And a public official, too. That's four.

I heard about a secretary that my father worked with for decades, who treated the handicapped parking place as her own reserved parking spot. Then an actual handicapped person parked in it, and she yelled at him. The guy called the cops on her.
 
2011-07-26 07:48:49 AM
Five. The guy most likely drives a BMW
 
2011-07-26 07:54:19 AM
www.inbe.org

Approves
 
2011-07-26 08:15:20 AM
This guy is quite a character.

He is also due in court on Friday for an incident last year that landed him larceny and vandalism charges. It is alleged that he stole fence posts from a neighboring business for installation at the Inn outside where this parking incident took place.

charged with assault and battery, intimidation of a witness, impersonating a police officer, and malicious destruction of property (new window)

http://blogs.southcoasttoday.com/fairhaven/2010/09/09/fence-posts-are-round-no t- square/ (new window)

blogs.southcoasttoday.com
 
2011-07-26 08:29:54 AM
I think the death penalty should be used very sparingly, and only in cases where the
crime is so heinous that it is the only equal penalty, and after due deliberation and
multiple independent reviews.

Or, for douchebags like this on the spot.
 
2011-07-26 08:30:08 AM
Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.
 
2011-07-26 08:33:22 AM
CSB:

Long ago I saw a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud parked across 3 handicapped spots at a McDonalds on Cape Cod.
 
2011-07-26 08:35:29 AM
I caught a handicapped person parking in one of "our" parking spaces. I kicked his ass.

/If anyone knows who I'm ripping this off from, please give them credit
 
2011-07-26 08:35:32 AM

BunkyBrewman: Five. The guy most likely drives a BMW


But he won't be there more than 26 minutes.
 
2011-07-26 08:36:05 AM
I like the dumbass tag, but stories like this need the Douche tag.
 
2011-07-26 08:36:25 AM
www.moviephotogallery.com
Morra for Congress.
 
2011-07-26 08:38:12 AM

BunkyBrewman: Five. The guy most likely drives a BMW


Six: The guy is also a constable...which I think is an almost-cop.
 
2011-07-26 08:39:23 AM
Andrew Bynum Approves
laist.com
 
2011-07-26 08:40:49 AM
theinternetoncomputers.com
 
2011-07-26 08:40:52 AM
They should send him to New Jersey. We can always use more upstanding, wanna-be politicians like him.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-07-26 08:40:54 AM
bighairyguy

An early season of Mad TV had a skit about a guy getting beat up for using the handicap stall in a bathroom. When he returned, crippled from the beating, he got beat up for using a non-handicap stall.
 
2011-07-26 08:41:43 AM
He looks Jewish. Must be the nose.
 
2011-07-26 08:44:41 AM
That Mora dude has got some Mora comeuppance due to him.
 
2011-07-26 08:45:13 AM
No special parking for anyone. Problem solved.
 
2011-07-26 08:46:07 AM
Normally I don't wish harm to another human being, but this guy seriously needs a broken leg.

/and maybe both thumbs
 
2011-07-26 08:46:26 AM
I caught a handicapped guy parking in a regular non-handicap space,
so I pulled him outta his wheelchair & beat the SH*T outta him!
 
2011-07-26 08:46:59 AM
video man:

Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

My first car was a old Cadillac that had been sorely abused and left out in the elements long before I got it. One of the things I used to love about driving a huge beat-up chunk of Detroit steel was parking exactly 6" away from the driver's side door of jerks who park diagonally.

What are they going to do? Key it? That would do more damage to their keys than my car.
 
2011-07-26 08:47:07 AM

OldManDownDRoad: Normally I don't wish harm to another human being, but this guy seriously needs a broken leg.

/and maybe both thumbs



but then he would be allowed to park in the handicap space.
 
2011-07-26 08:48:47 AM

miss diminutive: [www.inbe.org image 320x256]

Approves


Came here for that.

*shakes tiny fist*
 
2011-07-26 08:49:11 AM

simusid: CSB:

Long ago I saw a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud parked across 3 handicapped spots at a McDonalds on Cape Cod.



That was mine. Do you have a problem with that, plebeian?
 
2011-07-26 08:50:39 AM
If someone takes up two spaces they get the AaronK Special....

1. Move both side mirrors and collapse them both.
2. Unscrew antenna and leave on hood.
3. Move the wipers so they stick out or unattach if I feel like it.
4. Unscrew gas cap, unattach and leave on hood.
5. ect.

I do no damage, it only takes seconds and I would love to see the reaction.
 
2011-07-26 08:53:00 AM
Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.
 
2011-07-26 08:54:35 AM

KevSumac: I like the dumbass tag, but stories like this need the Douche tag.


I was thinking the same thing as I read the story. A Douche tag would be appropriate for this guy.
 
2011-07-26 09:01:06 AM

Kim Jong B Illin: Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.


Ahhh the win is strong with you....
 
2011-07-26 09:01:35 AM

Kim Jong B Illin: Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.


Now that's Great Justice, right there. Kudos!

Also, I'm sure that handicapped guy was making a handicapped face.
 
2011-07-26 09:03:53 AM
1: double parks
2: in handicapped spot
3: pushes handicapped guy
4: breaks handicapped guys phone
5: cussed him out in front of the cops.

Somebody won Asshole BINGO!!!
 
2011-07-26 09:05:21 AM

Kim Jong B Illin: Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. SNIP


I want this story to be true SO BADLY it hurts. Please don't be jerkin' our chains here.

Not that it's unbelievable. I park the exact same way when I encounter people who eat up multiple spaces. Same with people who can't managed to get their vehicle between the lines. When they bleed over into the next spot, I park my car, which is small, into the spot they're bleeding into.

I've just never been lucky enough to be around for the reaction.

/passive aggressive
 
2011-07-26 09:06:41 AM
The bro-stache needs a shaving.
www2.turnto10.com
 
2011-07-26 09:07:24 AM
Sheesh, do I have to do *everything* around here?

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2011-07-26 09:07:34 AM

video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. have the valve stems cut off of your tires with a pair of diagnigal cutters kept in the glove box for just such an occasion. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.


/ftfy
 
2011-07-26 09:08:08 AM
Kim Jong B Illin

Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.

(wipes away a tear) That was so very beautiful.
 
2011-07-26 09:08:46 AM
Oh, and this story doesn't surprise me in the least. In my job I come into contact with public officials on a regular basis, and while many are good folks like anyone else, a not insignificant percentage of them grow amazingly bloated senses of who they are, even for something as stupidly minor as being on the local zoning board.

The best is watching when they go out of their way to tell people who they are, as if anyone gives a rat's ass that they're the asshole who gives people a hard time about putting up a shed in their yard. Yet they expect special treatment.
 
2011-07-26 09:09:43 AM
6) May have stolen the posts on which the handicapped parking signs hang:

Link (new window)
 
2011-07-26 09:12:27 AM

maxheck: video man:

Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

My first car was a old Cadillac that had been sorely abused and left out in the elements long before I got it. One of the things I used to love about driving a huge beat-up chunk of Detroit steel was parking exactly 6" away from the driver's side door of jerks who park diagonally.

What are they going to do? Key it? That would do more damage to their keys than my car.


My first car was a 73 Ford Torino with a two tone primer paint job. A beast of a car that looked like it was straight out of the Road Warrior. One of my favorite things to do was to park in douche nozzles like this. One time I saw a Mustang GT that was parked in two spots, one being the end spot on the row. There was just enough space for me to fit the beast next to him on the end and be about two inches away from him. Also I managed to park so that my side mirror was about an inch away from his so he couldn't just hop in the passenger door and back out. Never touched his car. When I came out he was gone, and not a scratch was on mine.

Great car to intimidate douchy people.
 
2011-07-26 09:14:18 AM
farm6.static.flickr.com
 
2011-07-26 09:14:38 AM

Kozaru: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. have the valve stems cut off of your tires with a pair of diagnigal cutters kept in the glove box for just such an occasion. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

/ftfy


If you leap from bad parking to vandalism, you end up being an even bigger dumbass than the person who parks like a douche.
 
2011-07-26 09:17:14 AM

Kim Jong B Illin: Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.


awesome!!. totally awesome!!!

/spicoli
//tasty waves, cool buzz
///im fine
 
2011-07-26 09:17:48 AM

thamike: [farm6.static.flickr.com image 374x500]


Came for this, leaving sastified
 
2011-07-26 09:18:45 AM

miss diminutive: [www.inbe.org image 320x256]

Approves



That's what I came in here for.
 
2011-07-26 09:23:32 AM
The parkers I hate are the soccer mommies with their enormous suv's that need at least three passes to get them into a normal sized space. Listen honey, if you can't park your behemoth perhaps you shouldn't be driving it to take your one child to Target. Would you like me to park it for you?
 
2011-07-26 09:25:36 AM

shoegaze99: Kozaru: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. have the valve stems cut off of your tires with a pair of diagnigal cutters kept in the glove box for just such an occasion. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

/ftfy

If you leap from bad parking to vandalism, you end up being an even bigger dumbass than the person who parks like a douche.


I disagree.
 
2011-07-26 09:26:53 AM

HoityToity: He looks Jewish Roman. Must be the nose.

FTFY

Only a Goumba would park and act like that. And notice how the police waited till they got a warrant to arrest him. They pussyed out. Anyone else would have been sodomized and cuffed for acting like that in front of a cop.
 
2011-07-26 09:27:33 AM

shoegaze99: Kozaru: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. have the valve stems cut off of your tires with a pair of diagnigal cutters kept in the glove box for just such an occasion. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

/ftfy

If you leap from bad parking to vandalism, you end up being an even bigger dumbass than the person who parks like a douche.


I don't think so. It's social justice. Self-righteous assholes that think they have the right to take up multiple spaces so that nobody can park next to their precious little car have made themselves fair game for the rest of us to show them what we think about smug, self-righteous assholes.
 
2011-07-26 09:28:28 AM

schattenteufel: OldManDownDRoad: Normally I don't wish harm to another human being, but this guy seriously needs a broken leg.

/and maybe both thumbs


but then he would be allowed to park in the handicap space.


Hmmm . . . you're right. OK, then, someone needs to stick that constable's badge up his ass.
 
2011-07-26 09:30:08 AM

maxheck: video man:

Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

My first car was a old Cadillac that had been sorely abused and left out in the elements long before I got it. One of the things I used to love about driving a huge beat-up chunk of Detroit steel was parking exactly 6" away from the driver's side door of jerks who park diagonally.

What are they going to do? Key it? That would do more damage to their keys than my car.


My first car was an old beat up Volkswagon Beetle and I would do the same thing, Go ahead and scratch off some rust,
 
2011-07-26 09:30:51 AM

thamike: [farm6.static.flickr.com image 374x500]


Nice. Reminds me of one that circulated around college for a while. Had Micky Mouse flipping the bird with the caption "If you park like you f--k, you'll never get it in."
 
2011-07-26 09:32:09 AM

thamike: [farm6.static.flickr.com image 374x500]


Problem being that people who are douchey enough to do a lot of these things would just take one of those as a badge of pride, or some kind of douche medal.

I mean, that kind of thing on my car would make me feel bad. But when I park badly, it's because it's either accidental or because someone else was over the line in the last available space or something. So putting one of those on my car isn't going to do any good there either.

The people who take up two handicapped spots for their dick compensator feel better by making other people feel bad. Putting a sticker on their car just proves to them that they've won.

Personally, I think sugar in the gas tank is a more appropriate response. Or just put all the douches on an island where they can be douches to one another without getting the rest of us involved.
 
2011-07-26 09:34:22 AM

Kim Jong B Illin: Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.


I hate assholes like that. I can understand if you have some really nice car, and you don't want the unwashed masses parking their inferior 4 year old Nissans next to it. That's reasonable. Because if there is one thing we like to do with our $22-30,000 dollar cars is fark our doors up bashing them into your car. Fine. Take two spots. But do it at the end of the farking parking lot where there won't be a lot of cars around yours to begin with!

Acting like an asshole and parking across two spots near the front of the building (or handi-spaces) so you won't get your car scratched is the surest way to get your car scratched.

CSB:
Some jackass parked his brand new Escalade in the two closest parking spots near the mall during a real busy time. I happened to be driving my work van, so several 2 1/2 inch wood screws found their way under each tire. That and somehow his muffler got cut right between the cat-converter. (Recip saws are awesome)
 
2011-07-26 09:34:27 AM
farm3.static.flickr.com

Someone should park on his privates.
 
2011-07-26 09:35:05 AM

StrangeQ: I don't think so. It's social justice. Self-righteous assholes that think they have the right to take up multiple spaces so that nobody can park next to their precious little car have made themselves fair game for the rest of us to show them what we think about smug, self-righteous assholes.


If caught, that sort of "social justice" will result in far greater legal and financial consequences than the person who parks like a douchebag would face ... so yes, people engaging in it may think they're being righteous, but their out of proportion reaction sends them into dumbass territory based on that alone. Putting yourself at far greater risk then the dope who can't park isn't justice, it's stupid.
 
2011-07-26 09:36:14 AM

liam76: shoegaze99: Kozaru: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. have the valve stems cut off of your tires with a pair of diagnigal cutters kept in the glove box for just such an occasion. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

/ftfy

If you leap from bad parking to vandalism, you end up being an even bigger dumbass than the person who parks like a douche.

I disagree.


It's one thing to be socially inept. It's a completely other thing to ruin someone else's property. Keying someone's car or cutting their tires is a real pussy thing to do.
 
2011-07-26 09:38:17 AM

Gunderson: HoityToity: He looks Jewish Roman. Must be the nose. FTFY

Only a Goumba would park and act like that. And notice how the police waited till they got a warrant to arrest him. They pussyed out. Anyone else would have been sodomized and cuffed for acting like that in front of a cop.


Cops played it safe. Others in this thread have linked stories about this douche being an ass around town so the cops obviously have him on their radar. The guy being an elected official is also key to the cops having every "t" crossed and "i" dotted. If anythign it's good police work to make sure the charges stick.
 
2011-07-26 09:38:57 AM

simusid: CSB:

Long ago I saw a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud parked across 3 handicapped spots at a McDonalds on Cape Cod.


A car like that deserves three handicapped spots.
 
2011-07-26 09:39:16 AM

video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.


That's criminal damage, just let the air out of the tires
 
2011-07-26 09:40:44 AM
Handicapped parking spaces are segregation. I thought separate but equal wasn't allowed.
 
2011-07-26 09:41:18 AM

BeerBear: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

That's criminal damage, just let the air out of the tires


Put some well chewed gum under the door handle works well too.
 
2011-07-26 09:41:57 AM
Classic dirtbag response.
Just like when you honk at someone for cutting you off and they flip you off.

/people do really suck
 
2011-07-26 09:42:07 AM
Elected official? I bet he gets a slap on the wrist as the worst. Most likely he'll be forced to pay a fine that he'll embezzle out of city funds to pay and he'll be back to his old tricks again soon enough.
 
2011-07-26 09:42:15 AM
Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.
 
2011-07-26 09:43:43 AM

MythDragon: Take two spots. But do it at the end of the farking parking lot where there won't be a lot of cars around yours to begin with!


This. I drive a nice car (well, not Porsche or $40k Escalade nice, but nice for me) and when I go somewhere with a big enough lot I always park in the back as far from other cars as I can, but even then I still won't take up multiple spaces.

smedrick: liam76: shoegaze99: Kozaru: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. have the valve stems cut off of your tires with a pair of diagnigal cutters kept in the glove box for just such an occasion. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

/ftfy

If you leap from bad parking to vandalism, you end up being an even bigger dumbass than the person who parks like a douche.

I disagree.

It's one thing to be socially inept. It's a completely other thing to ruin someone else's property. Keying someone's car or cutting their tires is a real pussy thing to do.


How is it a pussy thing to do? It's justice. Maybe next time they won't park like an asshole.
 
2011-07-26 09:44:00 AM
216.92.151.22
 
2011-07-26 09:44:12 AM

Gunderson: [farm3.static.flickr.com image 500x375]

Someone should park on his privates.


That read in my head in the best Chinese accent.

/that's waissis
 
2011-07-26 09:44:24 AM

smedrick: liam76: shoegaze99: Kozaru: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. have the valve stems cut off of your tires with a pair of diagnigal cutters kept in the glove box for just such an occasion. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

/ftfy

If you leap from bad parking to vandalism, you end up being an even bigger dumbass than the person who parks like a douche.

I disagree.

It's one thing to be socially inept. It's a completely other thing to ruin someone else's property. Keying someone's car or cutting their tires is a real pussy thing to do.


Socially inept is not knowing how close it is appropriate to talk.

If you don't park between the lines, barring being next to some other car that is over the lines, you deserve to be keyed.

Odd that you think inconveniencing someone (keying) who has inconvenienced you (taking up two spots or blocking you in) is a real pussy thing to do, but the initial offense is A-ok.
 
2011-07-26 09:44:57 AM

johneee: Or just put all the douches on an island where they can be douches to one another without getting the rest of us involved.


I think they tried that already. They called it "Austraila".

Just kidding, Austraila! I love you guys. Please don't sic your giant venomous spiders on me.
 
2011-07-26 09:50:03 AM
Love this guy's mugshot. "'Ello, Big Nose!" "Sorry, couldn't hear, I was too busy talking to Big Nose here!" Call me nit-picky, but I don't detect a whole lot of remorse or introspction on this D.B.'s excessively benosed face.

I get pretty angry when I see a-holes pull crap like this, and people are rarely creative when they're mad, but kudos, kudos to the people who leave funny notes, park juuuuuuust inside the right-hand line ("Oh, was I blocking your door? I'm sooo sorry, how long have you been here?") or, in a fit of small scale civics, actually ask a police or parking enforcement officer to check if the person should even be IN a handicapped spot, much less two... or three. Im my experience, that $300 fine on the sign really, really does exist, and my city seemed eager to collect it (I was watching, bored, from a nearby student union).

Prevention is the best cure, though... I park far away from the door when I can, just to stop dumbasses from parking so close to me that I can't open my door far enough to get in (giant SUV driven by oblivious/overly entitled soccer mom, you KNOW who you are, you farking whore!). No one runs into me, very few ding-bringing shopping carts drift that far into the lot, no one keys my truck because they thought I hogged the space... and I even get to walk off a few extra calories. In the fight against douchebags, Obi Wan said it best. "You can't win. But there are alternatives to fighting..."
 
2011-07-26 09:50:04 AM

BunkyBrewman: Five. The guy most likely drives a BMW


I would have guessed Mercedes. BMW drivers are douche "light". The first thing out of a Mercedes driver's mouth is, "Do you know how much my car cost, asshole!?" while with the BMW, that's the second. Both usually driven by men whose family wants them dead or gone anyway.

Family > Money
 
2011-07-26 09:50:53 AM

liam76: Odd that you think inconveniencing someone (keying) who has inconvenienced you (taking up two spots or blocking you in) is a real pussy thing to do, but the initial offense is A-ok.


Wait, so causing hundreds of dollars of damage to someone's vehicle is "inconveniencing someone," and in the same way that taking up two parking spaces is inconvenient to other people?

Really?

And no one who has said that vandalism is an out of proportion or otherwise shiatty reaction said the initial crap parking was okay. No one. They've simply said the reaction is out of proportion to the initial offense. And it is. Even more importantly, it's stupid. It's stupid to put yourself in a position where you're a flat-out criminal rather than a dope who can't park right. Not justice. Just stupid.
 
2011-07-26 09:51:08 AM

StrangeQ: It's one thing to be socially inept. It's a completely other thing to ruin someone else's property. Keying someone's car or cutting their tires is a real pussy thing to do.

How is it a pussy thing to do? It's justice. Maybe next time they won't park like an asshole.


Do you wait for the owner to come back so he can confront you? If not, you're a coward.

I drive a very nice car. I always park far away and within the lines. I don't mind the walk if I know my car is safe from loose carts or destructive assholes. Still, I've had my car keyed for no apparent reason. It's farking shiatty thing to do. When I see a dipshiat parking across multiple spaces, I laugh because he thinks he's better than the rules, but it doesn't bother me enough to damage his property. Take a picture and post it on the internet, park him in, or put a fake ticket on his window...that's perfectly deserving. But have some respect for the automobile.
 
2011-07-26 09:51:22 AM

Gunderson: BeerBear: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

That's criminal damage, just let the air out of the tires

Put some well chewed gum under the door handle works well too.


Had a PT Cruiser block my POS '94 Accord from getting out of my spot in front of my apartment, I waited an hour for him to return and move...no luck.

Then I put on some kitchen gloves, searched the common grassy area for a fresh dog pile....then spackled the gaps under his door handles with some found brown.

Had a buddy take me to work (driver was still a no-show). When I returned, there was a few dozen foul wet wipes laying in the spot where the PT was.

Made my day...
 
2011-07-26 09:51:52 AM

liam76: but the initial offense is A-ok.


When did I say that?
 
2011-07-26 09:52:42 AM

Gunderson: [farm3.static.flickr.com image 500x375]

Someone should park on his privates.


Was it supposed to sound like Khan from "King of the Hill"?
 
2011-07-26 09:54:45 AM

StrangeQ:
How is it a pussy thing to do? It's justice. Maybe next time they won't park like an asshole.


There are few things in life more pussified than keying someone's car. If you're going to damage something that valuable, at least have the balls to do it in front of them.
 
2011-07-26 09:55:23 AM
Then there was the LARGE MARGE who screamed at me for parking in the crip spot. With my mom, and a handicapped placard. (In her state, plates are not issued - they give tags that hang from the rear view so you can switch vehicles as needed.) I got out of the driver's side, and jogged around to help my mom. The woman was so apoplectic I thought she was going to peg me in the head with her 40oz bottle of diet pepsi.

Out of respect for my mother who liked to think that she raised me right and didn't like it when I used trucker language, I resisted the urge to scream, "Well maybe if you didn't let yourself get to be the size of a large circus elephant, you wouldn't need the crip space!" It was close, though.

/css
//miss you, mom *sniff*
///miss that sweet, sweet parking
 
2011-07-26 09:58:43 AM
I find Acura owners are becoming bigger douchbags than BMW owners these days. I think it's because they feel the need for a penis extension, but lack the proper funding.

And keying a car for ANY reason is a pussy (and criminal) move. Get caught parking like an asshole and you'll get a ticket, get caught keying a car and you're facing possible jail time.
 
2011-07-26 09:59:01 AM

schattenteufel: I caught a handicapped guy parking in a regular non-handicap space,
so I pulled him outta his wheelchair & beat the SH*T outta him!


This is my solution to the problem. By parking spot sizes and compared to the rest of American cars my '98 Jetta would qualify as a 'compact car'. To prove a point I've crawled out the sunroof before. inches or less of clearance on one side.

smedrick: It's one thing to be socially inept. It's a completely other thing to ruin someone else's property. Keying someone's car or cutting their tires is a real pussy thing to do.


"Damage" should be easily reversible. Drop tire PSI to 5, etc. It'll be ungodly inconvenient but no permanent damage.
 
2011-07-26 09:59:16 AM

Kim Jong B Illin: Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.


This...reading this just made my day.
 
2011-07-26 10:00:11 AM
My wife approached a guy who had parked over two handicapped spots in his giant Escalade, also blocking the sidewalk ramp where she was trying to push her four month old baby, because the car was still running, and had both front doors open. He'd gone into the local pastry shop for some bubble tea. When she nicely pointed out that it was blocking the ramp (didn't go on about the other inconsiderate behavior) and then pointed to her baby, he told her to eat shiat, three times, following her all the way back into the pastry shop he'd just come out of to make sure she'd heard him, and then turned and sped off, nearly hitting three other cars on the way out of the parking lot.
 
2011-07-26 10:00:56 AM

shoegaze99: Wait, so causing hundreds of dollars of damage to someone's vehicle is "inconveniencing someone,".


Actually, it's really not. Does keying their door affect the drivability of the vehicle in any way whatsoever? No? Then they haven't been inconvenienced, whereas the handicapped person that has to walk the extra distance certainly has.

Now, if the person with the keyed car values its appearance so much that they have to immediately go out and have the car repainted then that's their problem, and one that could have been completely avoided had they not acted like an asshole in the first place.
 
2011-07-26 10:03:22 AM

video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.


I have no problem with people who have very, very nice cars and choose to park them in two spaces in the back of a lot. But yeah, you're asking for trouble if you do that anywhere that other people want to be.
 
2011-07-26 10:03:44 AM

LL316: StrangeQ:
How is it a pussy thing to do? It's justice. Maybe next time they won't park like an asshole.

There are few things in life more pussified than keying someone's car. If you're going to damage something that valuable, at least have the balls to do it in front of them.


There is one thing in life more pussified than keying someone's car: double-parking/parking where you're not supposed to/parking maliciously. If you're going to park like an ass, at least have the balls to sit in your car waiting to get donkeypunched for it.
 
2011-07-26 10:05:43 AM
My wife, She who welds a Mighty Cane, has several times cross-parked right behind ablebodied people who park in the handicapped spot at the corner market. It's funny though, because her limp gets worse and she slows down if the driver of the offending vehicle appears. She'll wave, shrug and say 'Don't worry, I'll be back in a minute". It can take her half an hour to pick up a few groceries.

She tells me it gives the drivers the feeling of being handicapped, unable to get where they want to go at the speed they want. I think she should give courses.
 
2011-07-26 10:06:49 AM

R.A.Danny: I find Acura owners are becoming bigger douchbags than BMW owners these days.


That is the truth. If you see an Acura TL on the road you probably won't see it for long because the driver will weaving through lanes of traffic and cutting people off by driving up the shoulder just to get ahead of the pack.

LL316: StrangeQ:
How is it a pussy thing to do? It's justice. Maybe next time they won't park like an asshole.

There are few things in life more pussified than keying someone's car. If you're going to damage something that valuable, at least have the balls to do it in front of them.


Why should I do it in front of them? They obviously had no concern for seeing the person they were cutting off from a parking spot, why should I have any concern to see their face?
 
2011-07-26 10:07:09 AM
Musta been parked in front of the Jerk Store.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-07-26 10:07:33 AM

StrangeQ: shoegaze99: Wait, so causing hundreds of dollars of damage to someone's vehicle is "inconveniencing someone,".

Actually, it's really not. Does keying their door affect the drivability of the vehicle in any way whatsoever? No? Then they haven't been inconvenienced, whereas the handicapped person that has to walk the extra distance certainly has.

Now, if the person with the keyed car values its appearance so much that they have to immediately go out and have the car repainted then that's their problem, and one that could have been completely avoided had they not acted like an asshole in the first place.


Keying a car scratches through the clearcoat and paint and exposes the metal to rusting. It's not a simple act of repainting...it could cost thousands of dollars to repair and refinish.
 
2011-07-26 10:08:40 AM
i.huffpost.com
 
2011-07-26 10:09:20 AM

shoegaze99: liam76: Odd that you think inconveniencing someone (keying) who has inconvenienced you (taking up two spots or blocking you in) is a real pussy thing to do, but the initial offense is A-ok.

Wait, so causing hundreds of dollars of damage to someone's vehicle is "inconveniencing someone," and in the same way that taking up two parking spaces is inconvenient to other people?

Really?

And no one who has said that vandalism is an out of proportion or otherwise shiatty reaction said the initial crap parking was okay. No one. They've simply said the reaction is out of proportion to the initial offense. And it is. Even more importantly, it's stupid. It's stupid to put yourself in a position where you're a flat-out criminal rather than a dope who can't park right. Not justice. Just stupid.


Yeah, that's right. If you key it enough and key something expensive enough, you might even get it up to a nice felony crime for yourself. You expose yourself to a possible life with a felony conviction all because some doof parked wrong. Hmmm. I wonder if you can shoot someone in Texas that is keying your car. Probably heh.
 
2011-07-26 10:10:26 AM
Wow, there's a lot of ITG-itis in this thread. Keying a car for someone being a D-bag? That's vandalism, a-hole.

/don't like D-bag double parkers
//dislike ITG a-holes even more
 
2011-07-26 10:10:39 AM
... and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.

The best part about Illin's story...the collective worth of a '78 Chrysler Wagon (did it have wood grain vinyl siding?) and a POS Chevette would have been ohhh....say $995.00 in 1988. This thread has teh lawls!

/"why you bad park?"
 
2011-07-26 10:10:46 AM
What a t0.gstatic.com
 
2011-07-26 10:11:30 AM

smedrick: StrangeQ: shoegaze99: Wait, so causing hundreds of dollars of damage to someone's vehicle is "inconveniencing someone,".

Actually, it's really not. Does keying their door affect the drivability of the vehicle in any way whatsoever? No? Then they haven't been inconvenienced, whereas the handicapped person that has to walk the extra distance certainly has.

Now, if the person with the keyed car values its appearance so much that they have to immediately go out and have the car repainted then that's their problem, and one that could have been completely avoided had they not acted like an asshole in the first place.

Keying a car scratches through the clearcoat and paint and exposes the metal to rusting. It's not a simple act of repainting...it could cost thousands of dollars to repair and refinish.


So then they can drive over to the paint shop and have it refinished. If they can afford to have their nice, shiny car double parked up front for everyone to see, they can afford to have it repainted. Call it the asshole tax.
 
2011-07-26 10:11:32 AM
rlv.zcache.com
 
2011-07-26 10:12:15 AM

StrangeQ: R.A.Danny: I find Acura owners are becoming bigger douchbags than BMW owners these days.

That is the truth. If you see an Acura TL on the road you probably won't see it for long because the driver will weaving through lanes of traffic and cutting people off by driving up the shoulder just to get ahead of the pack.

LL316: StrangeQ:
How is it a pussy thing to do? It's justice. Maybe next time they won't park like an asshole.

There are few things in life more pussified than keying someone's car. If you're going to damage something that valuable, at least have the balls to do it in front of them.

Why should I do it in front of them? They obviously had no concern for seeing the person they were cutting off from a parking spot, why should I have any concern to see their face?


So his initial pussy behavior negates any pussy behavior from you? What's the saying? Two wrongs don't make a right? Whatever happened to taking the higher ground? Regardless of whether or not you think it's appropriate revenge, it's still a pussy thing to do.
 
2011-07-26 10:12:49 AM

StrangeQ: Actually, it's really not.


Correct. It's not "inconvenient" to have your car damaged and lowered in value if you decide not to fix the damage, nor is it "inconvenient" to spend hundreds of dollars to fix it if you do decide to repair the damage. Indeed, it's not "inconvenient" at all. I's far worse than "inconvenient," and suggesting that's all it is puts it on the same plane as shiatty parking ... which it's not. Glad we agree on that.
 
2011-07-26 10:13:49 AM
I like the idea of leaving a snide note...think I'll print out some of those.

I do NOT like the idea of retaliatory vandalism for several reasons:

1. I believe in karma, and 'cutting someones tire stems' for bad parking is not a fair trade in the realm of justice. Though I admit is is vicariously amusing.

2. Sometimes you don't know the whole story. What if a mother, who just lost her son in Iraq, was running in to the store to get food and water for the first time in 3 weeks in bleary haze of grief, tears and lack of sleep. Would you forgive such a person...yes, you would. I would not want to be the one who added to her pain with childish pranks or worse.

3. Vandalism is a crime, regardless of how someone parked. Security cameras are everywhere. I would like to maintain my crime-free record.

I do love the story of the Ferrari Douche getting blocked in legally by dude. That's good stuff right there. Don't even care if it is true - it is in my mind.
 
2011-07-26 10:14:46 AM

shoegaze99: Wait, so causing hundreds of dollars of damage to someone's vehicle is "inconveniencing someone," and in the same way that taking up two parking spaces is inconvenient to other people?


If you don't fix a scratch it costs nothing.

shoegaze99: And no one who has said that vandalism is an out of proportion or otherwise shiatty reaction said the initial crap parking was okay. No one.


You are right, nobody said it was ok, you just seem to be against any form of retaliation that isn't time consuming. And think one was the act of a pussy, but not the other.

Why is inconveniencing someone who did nothing to you not the act of a pussy, but doing it to someone in response to something they did the act of a pussy.
 
2011-07-26 10:15:57 AM
...and yeah, don't key the cars.

/pass it on.
 
2011-07-26 10:18:22 AM

StrangeQ: So then they can drive over to the paint shop and have it refinished. If they can afford to have their nice, shiny car double parked up front for everyone to see, they can afford to have it repainted. Call it the asshole tax.


You can own a nice car without having thousands of dollars in disposable income. I spent a little extra on a BMW so I wouldn't have to constantly bring it into the shop for repairs. It saved me money in the long run, but I don't have cash to piss away on self-proclaimed vigilantes.
 
2011-07-26 10:18:29 AM

smedrick: So his initial pussy behavior negates any pussy behavior from you? What's the saying? Two wrongs don't make a right? Whatever happened to taking the higher ground? Regardless of whether or not you think it's appropriate revenge, it's still a pussy thing to do.


It's kind of funny. For some, I guess the proper response to shiatty, anti-social behavior -- and make no mistake, douchebags like the guy in the linked article are small, small people -- is even shiattier anti-social behavior. In both cases, the parties are completely oblivious to what they're doing, more than happy to justify it with crappy reasoning, and have tricked themselves into thinking they're totally in the right.

Just two sides of the same coin, really.
 
2011-07-26 10:19:56 AM
This is why I lobbied for hood mounted rocket launchers.
 
2011-07-26 10:19:57 AM

liam76: Why is inconveniencing someone who did nothing to you not the act of a pussy, but doing it to someone in response to something they did the act of a pussy.


Why do you keep insinuating this despite being informed otherwise?
 
2011-07-26 10:21:29 AM
looneyspot.com
 
2011-07-26 10:23:42 AM
I'm also against keying. Totally not necessary, especially if it's just because someone parked stupid.
 
2011-07-26 10:25:37 AM

liam76: You are right, nobody said it was ok, you just seem to be against any form of retaliation that isn't time consuming. And think one was the act of a pussy, but not the other.

Why is inconveniencing someone who did nothing to you not the act of a pussy, but doing it to someone in response to something they did the act of a pussy.


Might want to pay closer attention to the person you're responding to. I've not made any "act of a pussy" arguments.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-07-26 10:26:45 AM
I wonder if you can shoot someone in Texas that is keying your car.

Only at night.
 
2011-07-26 10:30:58 AM
Looks like his was previously charged with cutting down sign poles from a neighboring business and using those for the handicap signs in question.

Link (new window)
 
2011-07-26 10:31:02 AM
I just park them in. Nothing is funnier than hearing your license plate paged over and over again while you smile and finish your shopping in a very slow and laidback manner. I only do that to people up front though. I really don't care if you double park at the back of the lot.

My favorite time was when this soccer mom cross-parked her giant SUV. The was a big dumpster in front of her car and I parked really close behind her car. I spent about two hours shopping. I came out to see the cops arguing with her on how they couldn't tow my vehicle. I turned around and when back in to waste another hour. When I got to my car there was a note on it that said (paraphrased) "Hey a-hole, thanks for parking me in! I had to call my husband to come get me you dick! He was NOT happy leaving work for this shiat! Hope you enjoy your keyed car!" I called the cops and they just shook their heads from the stupidity.

Not only was she inconvenienced, but had to pay to have my car re-painted to the tune of $2500. Oh and the $500 fine for criminal vandalism. I had to take her to court to get anything and after I won her husband screamed at her calling her a stupid waste of space as they left they court room. I always secretly hoped he beat her.
 
2011-07-26 10:33:48 AM
Forget keying the car or cutting the valve stems

Just get a $3 valve stem removal tool and some small ziploc baggies and leave all 4 stems inside the bag under the wiper

No damage but definately a dick move
 
2011-07-26 10:36:28 AM

SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.


Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.
 
2011-07-26 10:41:26 AM

hailin: I just park them in. Nothing is funnier than hearing your license plate paged over and over again while you smile and finish your shopping in a very slow and laidback manner. I only do that to people up front though. I really don't care if you double park at the back of the lot.

My favorite time was when this soccer mom cross-parked her giant SUV. The was a big dumpster in front of her car and I parked really close behind her car. I spent about two hours shopping. I came out to see the cops arguing with her on how they couldn't tow my vehicle. I turned around and when back in to waste another hour. When I got to my car there was a note on it that said (paraphrased) "Hey a-hole, thanks for parking me in! I had to call my husband to come get me you dick! He was NOT happy leaving work for this shiat! Hope you enjoy your keyed car!" I called the cops and they just shook their heads from the stupidity.

Not only was she inconvenienced, but had to pay to have my car re-painted to the tune of $2500. Oh and the $500 fine for criminal vandalism. I had to take her to court to get anything and after I won her husband screamed at her calling her a stupid waste of space as they left they court room. I always secretly hoped he beat her.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-07-26 10:42:08 AM
Lance: Still got your Malibu?
Vincent: Aw, man. You know what some farker did the other day?
Lance: What?
Vincent: farking keyed it.
Lance: Oh, man, that's farked up.
Vincent: Tell me about it. I had it in storage for three years, it was out for five days and some dickless piece of shiat farked with it.
Lance: They should be farking killed. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.
Vincent: Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it just so I could've caught him doing it.
Lance: What a farker!
Vincent: What's more chickenshiat than farking with a man's automobile? I mean, don't fark with another man's vehicle.
Lance: You don't do it.
Vincent: It's just against the rules.

/am I the only one that thought of this?
 
2011-07-26 10:42:28 AM
What is the legality of cordoning the vehicle with police line tape?
 
2011-07-26 10:44:24 AM
A few months ago in my friends parking garage I saw a black truck backed in and taking two spots right up the middle. This was in the visitors parking section where parking spots are quite hard to get. Someone had applied a 1ft by 1ft square black decal over the drivers side part of the windshield (size estimated).

When I left a few hours later the truck was gone and there were dozens of small black ripped sticker pieces scattered around the area it was parked. Whatever material (I'm guessing vinyl) and adhesive the decal was comprised of had to have been a pain in the @$$ to get off. I highly doubt the douche got all of it off. I laughed.
 
2011-07-26 10:45:47 AM
Masshole
 
2011-07-26 10:49:43 AM

shoegaze99: Might want to pay closer attention to the person you're responding to. I've not made any "act of a pussy" arguments


You are right you didn't, my mistake.

But you chimed in when I was responding to someone who did, so I assumed you were on the same page as him (and on a fark thread with the level of attention I am giving a smedrick looks like a shoegaze).

smedrick: Why do you keep insinuating this despite being informed otherwise?


when did you inform me that the person who parked like a jackass was being a pussy?

Julieahni: I'm also against keying. Totally not necessary, especially if it's just because someone parked stupid.


If you are over the line and nobody is around I agree.

If you take up two spots in the front, or park so close somebody can't get into their car I got no problem keying, and have.
 
2011-07-26 10:50:21 AM
www.allserialkillers.com

Also took issue with parkers.
 
2011-07-26 10:50:56 AM
I smell a caption contest! Winner gets his caption put on stickers for Farkers to distribute on the vehicles of handicapped spaced, double parking, self righteous, douch nosed, lazy fat slobby, A holes!

I drove my grandfather to the pharmacy one day (of many) to fill a prescription. And parked behind a "lazy fat slobby" self righteous biatch parked in the handicapped space with no plate or placard hanging from the mirror. She came out screaming at me to move. I told her i would after my grandfather came out. Someone in the store called the law and they arrived at the same time my G-pa came out. When the law found out that he was a WW2 vet and amputee, the law wrote her every ticket they could stick her with. Bet she walks some of that cellulite off by parking in regular spots now.
 
2011-07-26 10:53:38 AM

liam76: If you are over the line and nobody is around I agree.


Then you're an even bigger douchebag than the crappy parker. Glad we've got that settled.
 
2011-07-26 10:54:37 AM
If they would just add a few parking spots with this sign:

1.bp.blogspot.com

Everybody would be taken care of.
 
2011-07-26 10:55:50 AM
The people who are parked partially over the line could have been forced to by the car next to them doing the same. If you mess with a car for that, without actually seeing the person park, you're an idiot.
 
2011-07-26 11:01:19 AM

LL316: liam76: If you are over the line and nobody is around I agree.

Then you're an even bigger douchebag than the crappy parker. Glad we've got that settled.


So because I don't want to mess witht he car of a person who parks over the line where nobody else is around, I am worse than the crappy parker?

Of dipshiat.
 
2011-07-26 11:03:48 AM
What an obnoxious piece of shiat!

You can tell he's a real peach by his picture -- and that nose of his looks like it's just DESIGNED to be punched.

Hopefully, he'll be stripped of his positions and have his arse suited off in court.
 
2011-07-26 11:04:24 AM

Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.


Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.
 
2011-07-26 11:05:33 AM
CSS:

Once, I pulled in to grab a sammich and there was one available spot. On my right, the guy parked about an inch over the line, forcing me to park inches from the passenger side of the guy on my left to take the spot (who was parked a little awkwardly in a diagonal spot). Guy on my left comes out, looks at me and says, "Are you kidding? Is this some kind of a joke?" I point to the car on my left (noting I'm pretty much as close to him), say sorry and offer to pull out and repark after he leaves. He says it's no big deal and proceeds to try to back out, even though it would have been easier for me as I was parked parallel to the lines. After he goes, I back out and re-park so that I don't wind up hit with the door of the car on my left.

Just curious, but what if the guy on my right came out and moved first? I dunno, I don't think I would have deserved a keying if I was forced to park like a douche because there's one spot left and someone else parked like a douche. I suppose if I don't want "social justice" to come after me, I should go home and just make myself a sammich.
 
2011-07-26 11:10:08 AM

jennies1897: CSS:

Once, I pulled in to grab a sammich and there was one available spot. On my right, the guy parked about an inch over the line, forcing me to park inches from the passenger side of the guy on my left to take the spot (who was parked a little awkwardly in a diagonal spot). Guy on my left comes out, looks at me and says, "Are you kidding? Is this some kind of a joke?" I point to the car on my left (noting I'm pretty much as close to him), say sorry and offer to pull out and repark after he leaves. He says it's no big deal and proceeds to try to back out, even though it would have been easier for me as I was parked parallel to the lines. After he goes, I back out and re-park so that I don't wind up hit with the door of the car on my left.

Just curious, but what if the guy on my right came out and moved first? I dunno, I don't think I would have deserved a keying if I was forced to park like a douche because there's one spot left and someone else parked like a douche. I suppose if I don't want "social justice" to come after me, I should go home and just make myself a sammich.


If you stayed in the kitchen, none of that would have ever happened.

But yes, you illustrate a very reasonable scenario and further proof that keying someone's car is simply not a good thing to do.
 
2011-07-26 11:13:24 AM
All the vitriol overall parking space. Sure the guy's a douchebag, but beatings? Death?

You guys need to work on your anger issues
 
2011-07-26 11:15:51 AM

smedrick: But yes, you illustrate a very reasonable scenario and further proof that keying someone's car is simply not a good thing to do.


I am strictly anti-keying. I wouldn't even key the car of someone who cheated on me. One would have to poison my dog or something, and even my reaction to that would involve at least a baseball bat and the guy's head, not a key and his car.
 
2011-07-26 11:16:26 AM

jennies1897: CSS:

Once, I pulled in to grab a sammich and there was one available spot. On my right, the guy parked about an inch over the line, forcing me to park inches from the passenger side of the guy on my left to take the spot (who was parked a little awkwardly in a diagonal spot). Guy on my left comes out, looks at me and says, "Are you kidding? Is this some kind of a joke?" I point to the car on my left (noting I'm pretty much as close to him), say sorry and offer to pull out and repark after he leaves. He says it's no big deal and proceeds to try to back out, even though it would have been easier for me as I was parked parallel to the lines. After he goes, I back out and re-park so that I don't wind up hit with the door of the car on my left.

Just curious, but what if the guy on my right came out and moved first? I dunno, I don't think I would have deserved a keying if I was forced to park like a douche because there's one spot left and someone else parked like a douche. I suppose if I don't want "social justice" to come after me, I should go home and just make myself a sammich.


As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".
 
2011-07-26 11:16:45 AM

SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.


It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.
 
2011-07-26 11:17:06 AM

Soca: The people who are parked partially over the line could have been forced to by the car next to them doing the same. If you mess with a car for that, without actually seeing the person park, you're an idiot.


Yep.

Never keyed a car. But came out at the end of a Phils game once on a 95 degree July day. Somebody had left a yellow lab in a black Explorer parked in the middle of the packed parking lot by our car. Had the window down an inch and the dog was at the window gasping for air. Car was locked. Had to have been parked there for hours. This was back in 93. Nobody had a cell phone to call the authorities. I remember sitting in our car and writing some screed to leave on the douchebag's windshield. My friend who was driving hops in the driver seat, crumbles up my note and backs out to leave. I'm saying, "What the F dude?" when I notice he'd keyed the entire vehicle.

Who the f*ck takes a dog to a ball game so they can leave them locked in the car for hours? In July?

I'm sure there were other solutions to this issue, such as grabbing a lot attendant or just waiting around to kick the owner's ass. But we were all about 23 at the time and had been putting away plenty of beer on a hot day. Memory's a little hazy.
 
2011-07-26 11:17:45 AM

video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".


You're probably not a keyer. I get the impression keyers aren't strong critical thinkers.
 
2011-07-26 11:19:45 AM

XNTXN: [theinternetoncomputers.com image 334x480]


Bravo!
 
2011-07-26 11:19:58 AM
CSB:

I was waiting in a car at a shopping mall just before closing and the parking lot was nearly empty except for the clown that had parked their non-handicap vehicle in a handicap spot outside the drug store. I watched as a cop started to write a ticket...then a woman came out of the store who looked about 8 1/2 mos pregnant waddling towards her illegally parked car...and the cop tore up the ticket.

Sometimes, reason really does prevail.
 
2011-07-26 11:20:22 AM
Since we're sharing;

Years ago I was taking my 16yr old daughter to a movie. In front of the theater we came across a guy in a wheelchair whose lift-van, in the handicapped space, was blocked by a douchebag who had parked in that blue-line crosshatched area that is reserved for wheelchair liftgates. The guys van had "Proud Vietnam Vet" bumperstickers all over. We stopped and said "Want any help kicking their asses?" (my kid just got back from her karate studio). He laughed and said "Thanks, but this isn't my first rodeo, the cops and tow truck are on the way." He was in his wheelchair right behind the offending car, he was gonna keep them there. My kid and I ran in and got popcorn, came back and watched the show as the cops wrote a PILE of tickets as the tow truckdriver YANKED the car out of the space and into the sunset. A small crowd had gathered and broke out in applause as the car 'unfortunately' was towed over a few curbs on the way out. The guy seemed geniunely touched that he was blocked in by one asshole, but surrounded by a dozen or more supporters.

We never did see the owner of the car..maybe they came out and saw everybody gathered around and decided to just take the bus.
 
2011-07-26 11:21:12 AM

video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".


Yep.
 
2011-07-26 11:22:41 AM

bluehubcap: CSB:

I was waiting in a car at a shopping mall just before closing and the parking lot was nearly empty except for the clown that had parked their non-handicap vehicle in a handicap spot outside the drug store. I watched as a cop started to write a ticket...then a woman came out of the store who looked about 8 1/2 mos pregnant waddling towards her illegally parked car...and the cop tore up the ticket.

Sometimes, reason really does prevail.


So the moral of the story: the cop realized that the driver was a woman and was therefore legally handicapped?

/pregnant does not equal handicapped.
 
2011-07-26 11:23:57 AM

video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".


You're missing the core of her question, though. If the person who forced her to park like shiat pulled away while she was in the store, leaving only her car, you'd have no idea that she was forced into the position. It would merely look like she parked like shiat. With the other car long gone, by all appearances she'd be a coont who can't park ... even though it was really crappy circumstances that forced her into it.

That's what she is saying to potential keyers. You might think you're about to do social justice on someone, but if you didn't see them park you really can't know for sure.

This doesn't apply to the brazen cross-parking folks, of course. No one is forced to park diagonally across multiple spaces, or to take a handicapped spot when you're not handicapped.

(Not that I endorse keying these people, either; I don't. Proportion, folks, Proportion.)
 
2011-07-26 11:24:00 AM
When I was young and stupid, I keyed a car for double parking.

It was in a mall parking lot during Christmas shopping season. It is nearly impossible to find a parking spot. Walking in I see a Honda civic with custom paint job, all fixed up like a wanna-be race car, and parked in 2 spaces towards the front. I was so pissed and keyed the fark out of that car. I bet he was pissed.
 
2011-07-26 11:26:38 AM

PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.


While true, if the officer went home to tell his wife and mother of his kids what he did, she's cut his nuts off, so he used some discretion.
 
2011-07-26 11:26:47 AM

thamike: video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".

You're probably not a keyer. I get the impression keyers aren't strong critical thinkers.


I never have keyed a car myself. I often do wish a keying upon a shiatty park job, but have never keyed myself.
/Once saw a corvette park in 5~6 spots and then get keyed shortly after.
//Kid even had the decency to write "LOL" on the hood.
 
2011-07-26 11:29:08 AM

hailin: I always secretly hoped he beat her.


This is like the sweet red cherry on that delicious story sundae. Oh my how I laughed.
 
2011-07-26 11:31:33 AM
Here is a thought or two for the vigilante keyers out there. You can't be certain the driver is the owner. You really can't be certain the driver winds up paying for it. You could be caught on a security camera, or seen by a witness who reports you to police.
 
2011-07-26 11:31:40 AM
On another occasion;

I'd just picked up my brand-new-right-off-the-showroom-floor Toyota truck. Drove girlfriend to pick up her ski boots. I was totally beat from work so, while she was in the store, put the driver seat back to catch some shuteye. While laying down, a car roars into the spot next to me..the driver throws his door open with so much force that when it impacts my passenger door it actually rocks my hours-old truck to the side. By the time I get my seat up and out of my truck, he is gone. I look and sure enough..a grape-sized dimple in my new door...scratched to the metal.

I did NOT key his car...that is so low-brow.

However, I DID kick off both side-view mirrors ...leaving them hanging by their servo-motor cables...and peeled off his registration stickers.

Oh...and may have peed on his door handles....
 
2011-07-26 11:31:44 AM

thamike: [farm6.static.flickr.com image 374x500]


OMG someone stole my idea.
 
2011-07-26 11:32:08 AM

PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.


In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.
 
2011-07-26 11:34:56 AM

If there are special handicapped parking spots, there should also be special douchebag-only spots. It's only fair. Double wide, perhaps with raised barriers in between. The permit tag for these spots would read:

YES I AM A DOUCHEBAG!
 
2011-07-26 11:35:46 AM
Firmly in the no keying camp. There are so many other creative ways to make them pay that property damage isn't necessary.

Legally park em in, surround the car with shopping carts, big sign on windshield, vaseline on wiper blades...and for the handicapped hijackers a nice ticket and tow.

Just use your noggin, not your lawyer.
 
2011-07-26 11:37:41 AM

video man: thamike: video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".

You're probably not a keyer. I get the impression keyers aren't strong critical thinkers.

I never have keyed a car myself. I often do wish a keying upon a shiatty park job, but have never keyed myself.
/Once saw a corvette park in 5~6 spots and then get keyed shortly after.
//Kid even had the decency to write "LOL" on the hood.


Straight up vandalism is for gutless philistines. Now doing something like re-coating the entire car with a cheesy airbrushed Jesus/Elvis/ Philosoraptor mural? That's some sh*t that gets my respect.
 
2011-07-26 11:40:07 AM
vigilante keyer == Karma accident.
 
2011-07-26 11:40:25 AM
Basically, I could get behind a Pussy Wagon movement.

www.tarantino.info
 
2011-07-26 11:40:36 AM
campaignofshockandawe.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-07-26 11:40:53 AM

shoegaze99: PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.

In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.


I have no problems with that. If they applied for and received one, then they are legally able to park in that spot and should display the placard. If she fails to do that and parks in a handicapped spot, she deserves the ticket.
 
2011-07-26 11:43:20 AM

shoegaze99: PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.

In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.


In some CASES it actually does as well. Not all pregnancies are fun and healthy. Lots of pregnant women are on physical restrictions.
 
2011-07-26 11:48:49 AM
As an impotent foot stomper with a crappy car I always enjoy reading these threads.
Mostly for the 'revenge on douchebag parker' stories.
Then the keying vs no-keying starts up and while I am not pro-keying I scroll down the thread wondering how many of the vehement anti-key folks are the same ones who park sideways in the handicapped spots.
Then I shrug and go back to reading the funny revenge stories.

/of which I have none
 
2011-07-26 11:48:51 AM

shoegaze99: PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.

In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.


My wife always says she'd prefer to have reserved parking for people with infants. Never had a problem getting around when she was pregnant. Just a PITA when you've got a newborn/infant. A few supermarkets around here have spots reserved for patrons with infants. But it's just an honor system. Anybody who thinks us breeders don't deserve special parking privileges can still park there :)
 
2011-07-26 11:54:44 AM

PsyLord: shoegaze99: PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.

In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.

I have no problems with that. If they applied for and received one, then they are legally able to park in that spot and should display the placard. If she fails to do that and parks in a handicapped spot, she deserves the ticket.


I know. You park in a handicap spot and you're 8 1/2 months pregnant, don't even think about it without a placard. Rules are rules and no big, pregnant biatch should be allowed any help from anyone. Pregnant coont.
 
2011-07-26 11:56:30 AM
When I worked for Enterprise, we had a car returned with one of these stickers on the bumper:

www.davepit.com
 
2011-07-26 11:57:17 AM

video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.


Had to horribly hurt the last guy that tried that on me. If you see a car double parked in the back of a parking lot by itself so people dont open doors into it maybe just leave it alone.
 
2011-07-26 11:57:23 AM

PsyLord: shoegaze99: PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.

In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.

I have no problems with that. If they applied for and received one, then they are legally able to park in that spot and should display the placard. If she fails to do that and parks in a handicapped spot, she deserves the ticket.


And I don't have a problem with a person who is actually 8 months pregnant using the spot regardless of what fleck of paper some squat-faced clerk gave her. fark the paperwork, she's wideload with babies.
 
2011-07-26 11:57:30 AM
Since we are talking about bad parkers, how about the SUV that decides to park in a parking space that is designated for compact cars?

www.foundshit.com
/hot like parking rage
 
2011-07-26 11:58:21 AM

video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".


Doesn't work. The guy on the right is what caused me to park on the line and so close to the guy on my left. If the guy on my right was gone, it would not be apparent at all why I parked the way I did.
 
2011-07-26 11:58:47 AM
Don't get yourself jailed or sued because of someone else's douchebaggery. Because there are security cameras everywhere these days, if they can afford a car like that, they can probably afford a better lawyer than you. Even the air out of the tires can come back to haunt you if you are caught - they can spend $$$$$$ on having someone come change the tire for them, and stick you with the bill. Likewise, putting icky stuff on the car. You may end up paying for a hugely overpriced cleaning. Even if the lawyer/court costs far exceed the cost of the fix, gym-in-26-minutes types will gladly pay it for the fark-you.

Park them in, legally, or photograph their asshattery and post it. For the crip spots, call the police.
 
2011-07-26 11:58:52 AM

runescorpio: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

Had to horribly hurt the last guy that tried that on me. If you see a car double parked in the back of a parking lot by itself so people dont open doors into it maybe just leave it alone.


You horribly hurt someone?
 
2011-07-26 12:02:18 PM

jennies1897: video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".

Doesn't work. The guy on the right is what caused me to park on the line and so close to the guy on my left. If the guy on my right was gone, it would not be apparent at all why I parked the way I did.


There is a big and obvious difference between being a smidge over the line and deliberately cross parking.
 
2011-07-26 12:04:02 PM

thamike: runescorpio: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

Had to horribly hurt the last guy that tried that on me. If you see a car double parked in the back of a parking lot by itself so people dont open doors into it maybe just leave it alone.

You horribly hurt someone?


He got the equivalent of 250 scratch removal on his face :-) wasnt smsrt enough to look inside the car first.
 
2011-07-26 12:04:20 PM

hailin: I just park them in. Nothing is funnier than hearing your license plate paged over and over again while you smile and finish your shopping in a very slow and laidback manner. I only do that to people up front though. I really don't care if you double park at the back of the lot.

My favorite time was when this soccer mom cross-parked her giant SUV. The was a big dumpster in front of her car and I parked really close behind her car. I spent about two hours shopping. I came out to see the cops arguing with her on how they couldn't tow my vehicle. I turned around and when back in to waste another hour. When I got to my car there was a note on it that said (paraphrased) "Hey a-hole, thanks for parking me in! I had to call my husband to come get me you dick! He was NOT happy leaving work for this shiat! Hope you enjoy your keyed car!" I called the cops and they just shook their heads from the stupidity.

Not only was she inconvenienced, but had to pay to have my car re-painted to the tune of $2500. Oh and the $500 fine for criminal vandalism. I had to take her to court to get anything and after I won her husband screamed at her calling her a stupid waste of space as they left they court room. I always secretly hoped he beat her.


I love you.
 
2011-07-26 12:04:26 PM

PsyLord: Since we are talking about bad parkers, how about the SUV that decides to park in a parking space that is designated for compact cars?

[www.foundshiat.com image 500x415]
/hot like parking rage


I don't care as much. Especially if he's not over the line in front of him.
 
2011-07-26 12:05:49 PM

thamike: runescorpio: video man: Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

Had to horribly hurt the last guy that tried that on me. If you see a car double parked in the back of a parking lot by itself so people dont open doors into it maybe just leave it alone.

You horribly hurt someone?


Serious, serious injuries?
 
2011-07-26 12:06:41 PM

grunthos: We never did see the owner of the car..maybe they came out and saw everybody gathered around and decided to just take the bus.


Like they had a choice at that point.
 
2011-07-26 12:07:53 PM

PsyLord: Since we are talking about bad parkers, how about the SUV that decides to park in a parking space that is designated for compact cars?

[www.foundshiat.com image 500x415]
/hot like parking rage


That's more of a suggestion. And usually all the compact drivers parked somewhere closer.
 
2011-07-26 12:07:57 PM

Kim Jong B Illin: Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.


I met my friend at the grocery store one day after work, and there was a truck parked across three spots. She parked in front of him, and I parked behind him. We had a sudden urge to walk over to the mall and play in some clothes at Ricki's. We spent a good hour or so in there. When we came out, dude guy was standing in front of his truck on his cell phone, hands flailing. We then spent another forty five minutes getting our groceries. It happened to be one of those trips where we had no idea what we wanted, so we walked down every aisle. By the time we finished, he was sitting in his truck. After taking as long as we could unloading, and standing around visiting and having our post shopping cigarettes, we finally left. I kept sneaking glances at him. He stared straight ahead, and had a white knuckled grip on his steering wheel the whole time. I'm still kind of surprised that there was no confrontation, or damage done to our vehicles.

/css
//not as cool as yours
 
2011-07-26 12:08:34 PM
Link

i hope your children get hooked on drugs

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaang :U
 
2011-07-26 12:09:10 PM

maxheck: video man:

Park in two spaces, and you will get keyed. Perhaps not by me, but you will be keyed.

My first car was a old Cadillac that had been sorely abused and left out in the elements long before I got it. One of the things I used to love about driving a huge beat-up chunk of Detroit steel was parking exactly 6" away from the driver's side door of jerks who park diagonally.

What are they going to do? Key it? That would do more damage to their keys than my car.


Too bad your twin brother wasn't around to park 4" from the passenger side of his car. (You could have parked a little closer, too.)
 
2011-07-26 12:09:46 PM
The RenFaire I was working for many years ago had a gate which was partially blocked off by an asshole who wanted to park as close as humanly possible to it. This made it nearly impossible for others to get through the gate with their gear; said gear often including carts and large duffels. He basically parked in the walkway and made it difficult for everyone to manage their gear around him. I think a lot of people accidentally scratched up his door with the crap on their belts. I mean, you ever see the crap Faire people have on their belts? Swords, knives, brass studs... yeah.

/CSS
 
2011-07-26 12:10:12 PM

shoegaze99: That's what she is saying to potential keyers. You might think you're about to do social justice on someone, but if you didn't see them park you really can't know for sure.


Well that's the thing, you don't key someone's car because they parked a little over the line, or too crooked, that could just be a bad driver parking badly. They get some leeway.
It's the ones who did it so obviously purposeful as to be egregiously offensive (like the Beamer cross-parked across three spots) that makes our blood boil for revenge.
/as Chris Rock said, I'm not saying you should do it... but I understand.
 
2011-07-26 12:15:28 PM

ReverendJasen: Well that's the thing, you don't key someone's car because they parked a little over the line, or too crooked, that could just be a bad driver parking badly. They get some leeway.
It's the ones who did it so obviously purposeful as to be egregiously offensive (like the Beamer cross-parked across three spots) that makes our blood boil for revenge.


Yes, as I said in the portion of my post you snipped out, these are two different things. One may be unfortunate circumstances, the other is often douchebaggery:

This doesn't apply to the brazen cross-parking folks, of course. No one is forced to park diagonally across multiple spaces, or to take a handicapped spot when you're not handicapped.

Don't endorse keying in either case, of course.
 
2011-07-26 12:15:32 PM
God, I love the stories from a good parking thread...
 
2011-07-26 12:20:34 PM
I suck at parking and driving in general, which is why my wife drives.
 
2011-07-26 12:21:24 PM
One time I parked next to a guy that had parked at the edge of the lines. I was fully parked between the lines. My van got keyed.

I learned not to park by douchebags like that. Good thing the van was a POS, but I didn't need the scratch.
 
2011-07-26 12:23:33 PM
Meh, fark keying. Try squirting a little Great Stuff into the lock cylinder on the door(s).
So many uses that stuff has.
 
2011-07-26 12:28:23 PM
I think what some of you people don't realize is that many people are very important. Limits shouldn't apply to them. They are winners and don't have time to abide by insignificant laws like parking regulations and whatnot. They don't have time to "park inside the lines" or abide by traffic lights. They have places to go and simply are too busy to conform to your silly standards. They drive nice cars, and to make sure one of you slovenly jerks doesn't park too close, they HAVE to take up two spaces. They deserve the extra space. If you're a loser who drives an inexpensive car, you don't need to take up more than one space, because, why bother?. But if you're one of society's successful and affluent people, your contributions (in taxes) entitle you to an extra parking space.

Society really should be thanking guys like this, instead of persecuting him.
 
2011-07-26 12:30:52 PM

plewis: I suck at parking and driving in general, which is why my wife drives.


you're a lesbian?
 
2011-07-26 12:32:04 PM
i spent about six years in a wheelchair in the nineties.

the best thing in the world for getting the point across is really cheap lipstick on the windows. cheap as in dollar store 3-for-a-buck grandma orange lipstick.

does no permanent damage, but because of the oil and wax content, it just smears and smears unless you use really strong soap and cold water. windex won't touch it.

when i was in a support group, friends and i printed up bumperstickers that we carried everywhere. they read "i block handicap access, please treat me accordingly."

back in the day when gas caps were easier access, a handfull of pachinko balls in the gas tank worked wonders. no damage done, but assholes would spend a chunk of change trying to track down the rattle in the car. delayed gratification, but gratification, nonetheless.

ah, memories....
 
2011-07-26 12:37:46 PM
image.rotteneggs.com

One under each tire.

/Wouldn't do it, but it is a pleasant thought.
 
2011-07-26 12:40:48 PM

RembrandtQEinstein: [looneyspot.com image 610x406]


Sorry, I missed your post.
 
2011-07-26 12:51:12 PM

Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.

It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.


It won't since that's not the problem.
 
2011-07-26 12:53:36 PM

SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.

It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.

It won't since that's not the problem.


ok you're saying he's a town cop. I'm saying he's not. where's the confusion.
 
2011-07-26 12:55:06 PM
Tales like this are just examples of people on the road in general being more selfish and stupid.

Hell, half the people in this thread probably don't use their signals when they are changing lanes or turning. Hey asshole! How about some warning before you swing that useless gas guzzling pickup in front of me? (SUV and truck owners seem to be the worst). They act like they're the only vehicles on the goddamn road.

The latest phenomena seems to be stopping as much as a car length from the stop line/crosswalk. Again, attention douchebags: see those little squares drawn into in the road just before you get to the crosswalk? Those are the sensors that tell the traffic light there are vehicles waiting.
 
2011-07-26 12:58:18 PM

PsyLord: Since we are talking about bad parkers, how about the SUV that decides to park in a parking space that is designated for compact cars?

[www.foundshiat.com image 500x415]
/hot like parking rage


As someone who drove that exact color and model of suburban for the first six months of this year, if someone can fit that beast legally into a compact spot without being a douche about it, more power to them!

Personally I always parked on the outskirts of parking lots so I could be absolutely sure I was centered and so I could pull through. Also so I could find the damn thing. During training at Perry there were over five suburbans that exact color/make in the parking lot. I could only identify mine because of the whip antenna. Worst thing I did with it is forget the damn whip antenna and pull into an open parking garage. Took me two florescent light fixtures before I realized just what had happened.

/now driving an orange Honda Element
//radiation protection contractor
 
2011-07-26 01:02:15 PM

plewis: I suck at parking and driving in general, which is why my wife drives.


So you are a lesbian couple?
 
2011-07-26 01:02:17 PM

johneee: The people who take up two handicapped spots for their dick compensator feel better by making other people feel bad. Putting a sticker on their car just proves to them that they've won.


Exactly. The "you park like an asshole" stickers may not work on some egos. And may be misdirected at the driver.

Rather, why not put a big sign on windshield to amuse random passers-by roughly tailored to defeat the image the driver is trying to portray.

Suggestions:

"NAMBLA CHILD INSPECTOR PARKING PERMIT"

"WHY YES, I LOVE THE COCK"

"MY OTHER SHORTS ARE A DIAPER"

"I HAVE A NICE CAR, BUT MY WIFE IS FAT, MY CHILDREN RETARDED AND MY DICK IS 2 INCHES OF EXTREME FLOPPY"
 
2011-07-26 01:02:38 PM
Definition of "Bully"
 
2011-07-26 01:03:30 PM

Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.

It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.

It won't since that's not the problem.

ok you're saying he's a town cop. I'm saying he's not. where's the confusion.


To my mind, Town Cops are, at best, just below mall rent-a-cops in terms of their laughability/not-taking-seriously factor, and this is whether or not they actually have any real influence as an officer of the lawl.

Ironically, In the mind of a Town Cop, this distortion of reality works more or less in an inversely proportional fashion. i.e.: They think they're God's gift to the town, the county, and prolly the whole damn state as well. To that end they carry themselves with all the swagger of The Donald, save minus the billions of dollars and casinos.

The problem I was alluding to was attitude. This guy honestly thinks he has something akin to a divine right to be a giant douchebag. Doesn't matter if he's "actually a cop" or not.
 
2011-07-26 01:04:23 PM

Seacop: plewis: I suck at parking and driving in general, which is why my wife drives.

you're a lesbian?


*shakes fist* You beat me to it!
 
2011-07-26 01:05:27 PM

peterthx: The latest phenomena seems to be stopping as much as a car length from the stop line/crosswalk.


People are doing that at stop signs these days so they can be "First" stopped and then run ahead of you. I mean, like 75 feet before the intersection. Sheesh.
 
2011-07-26 01:11:28 PM

SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.

It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.

It won't since that's not the problem.

ok you're saying he's a town cop. I'm saying he's not. where's the confusion.

To my mind, Town Cops are, at best, just below mall rent-a-cops in terms of their laughability/not-taking-seriously factor, and this is whether or not they actually have any real influence as an officer of the lawl.

Ironically, In the mind of a Town Cop, this distortion of reality works more or less in an inversely proportional fashion. i.e.: They think they're God's gift to the town, the county, and prolly the whole damn state as well. To that end they carry themselves with all the swagger of The Donald, save minus the billions of dollars and casinos.

The problem I was alluding to was attitude. This guy honestly thinks he has something akin to a divine right to be a giant douchebag. Doesn't matter if he's "actually a cop" or not.


ok, when you underline Town Constable and say oh he's a town cop thats the problem, and I call you out saying town constables are not cops, you have to provide a defense

That's like underlining City counselor and saying oh there's the problem, he's a small buisness owner.
 
2011-07-26 01:19:19 PM

Mykeru: Rather, why not put a big sign on windshield to amuse random passers-by roughly tailored to defeat the image the driver is trying to portray.

Suggestions:

"NAMBLA CHILD INSPECTOR PARKING PERMIT"


haha.. I'm liking that one. How about simply, "Proud NAMBLA Member!"
He'll be wondering why everyone behind him in traffic is pissed off and disgusted.
 
2011-07-26 01:20:26 PM

Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.

It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.

It won't since that's not the problem.

ok you're saying he's a town cop. I'm saying he's not. where's the confusion.

To my mind, Town Cops are, at best, just below mall rent-a-cops in terms of their laughability/not-taking-seriously factor, and this is whether or not they actually have any real influence as an officer of the lawl.

Ironically, In the mind of a Town Cop, this distortion of reality works more or less in an inversely proportional fashion. i.e.: They think they're God's gift to the town, the county, and prolly the whole damn state as well. To that end they carry themselves with all the swagger of The Donald, save minus the billions of dollars and casinos.

The problem I was alluding to was attitude. This guy honestly thinks he has something akin to a divine right to be a giant douchebag. Doesn't matter if he's "actually a cop" or not.

ok, when you underline Town Constable and say oh he's a town cop thats the problem, and I call you out saying town constables are not cops, you have to provide a defense


Why? You're clearly having a different argument.
 
2011-07-26 01:20:39 PM

peterthx: Tales like this are just examples of people on the road in general being more selfish and stupid.

Hell, half the people in this thread probably don't use their signals when they are changing lanes or turning. Hey asshole! How about some warning before you swing that useless gas guzzling pickup in front of me? (SUV and truck owners seem to be the worst). They act like they're the only vehicles on the goddamn road.

The latest phenomena seems to be stopping as much as a car length from the stop line/crosswalk. Again, attention douchebags: see those little squares drawn into in the road just before you get to the crosswalk? Those are the sensors that tell the traffic light there are vehicles waiting.


I personally like the cars that creep forward every 5 seconds while they are at a red light. By the time it turns green, they are about 1/3-1/2 car length past the stop line.
 
2011-07-26 01:22:14 PM

ReverendJasen: Mykeru: Rather, why not put a big sign on windshield to amuse random passers-by roughly tailored to defeat the image the driver is trying to portray.

Suggestions:

"NAMBLA CHILD INSPECTOR PARKING PERMIT"

haha.. I'm liking that one. How about simply, "Proud NAMBLA Member Casey Anthony Supporter!"
He'll be wondering why everyone behind him in traffic is pissed off and disgusted.


Updated for the times.
 
2011-07-26 01:23:39 PM

SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.

It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.

It won't since that's not the problem.

ok you're saying he's a town cop. I'm saying he's not. where's the confusion.

To my mind, Town Cops are, at best, just below mall rent-a-cops in terms of their laughability/not-taking-seriously factor, and this is whether or not they actually have any real influence as an officer of the lawl.

Ironically, In the mind of a Town Cop, this distortion of reality works more or less in an inversely proportional fashion. i.e.: They think they're God's gift to the town, the county, and prolly the whole damn state as well. To that end they carry themselves with all the swagger of The Donald, save minus the billions of dollars and casinos.

The problem I was alluding to was attitude. This guy honestly thinks he has something akin to a divine right to be a giant douchebag. Doesn't matter if he's "actually a cop" or not.

ok, when you underline Town Constable and say oh he's a town cop thats the problem, and I call you out saying town constables are not cops, you have to provide a defense

Why? You're clearly having a different argument.


Sorry chucklehead, you said constable and cop were the same thing. I'm merely pointing out that they are not.
 
2011-07-26 01:27:14 PM

Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.

It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.

It won't since that's not the problem.

ok you're saying he's a town cop. I'm saying he's not. where's the confusion.

To my mind, Town Cops are, at best, just below mall rent-a-cops in terms of their laughability/not-taking-seriously factor, and this is whether or not they actually have any real influence as an officer of the lawl.

Ironically, In the mind of a Town Cop, this distortion of reality works more or less in an inversely proportional fashion. i.e.: They think they're God's gift to the town, the county, and prolly the whole damn state as well. To that end they carry themselves with all the swagger of The Donald, save minus the billions of dollars and casinos.

The problem I was alluding to was attitude. This guy honestly thinks he has something akin to a divine right to be a giant douchebag. Doesn't matter if he's "actually a cop" or not.

ok, when you underline Town Constable and say oh he's a town cop thats the problem, and I call you out saying town constables are not cops, you have to provide a defense

Why? You're clearly having a different argument.

Sorry chucklehead, you said constable and cop were the same thing. I'm merely pointing out that they are not.


And you're still having a different argument. Good luck with that.
 
2011-07-26 01:30:16 PM

peterthx: Tales like this are just examples of people on the road in general being more selfish and stupid.

Hell, half the people in this thread probably don't use their signals when they are changing lanes or turning. Hey asshole! How about some warning before you swing that useless gas guzzling pickup in front of me? (SUV and truck owners seem to be the worst). They act like they're the only vehicles on the goddamn road.

The latest phenomena seems to be stopping as much as a car length from the stop line/crosswalk. Again, attention douchebags: see those little squares drawn into in the road just before you get to the crosswalk? Those are the sensors that tell the traffic light there are vehicles waiting.


I haven't seen the stopping too soon thing, but I do see a lot of people stopping on the crosswalk designated area. And then they like to keep inching up while they wait for the light to turn green. What's amusing is that by the time the light turns green, they're usually too occupied with the radio or their cellphone to notice.
 
2011-07-26 01:36:20 PM
I can't stand a dickbag who intentionally takes up more than 1 space as much or worse than the next guy.

But, it occurs to me...For every one of those out there, I bet there's 2 people who have opened a car door into an adjacent car/ scratched a car or damaged a mirror walking past it/ did some kind of minor damage to another car while parking next to it....and just kept right on going. No note, no nothing.

I'm not saying parking like a douche is acceptable. I'm just saying, we also live in a society where taking responsibility when you damage something is largely a thing of the past, unless you have no choice. And save the "Not Me! 's". There's lots or responsible people. But a helluva lot more who aren't.

Can't win. Which is why I would never invest in a vehicle that was gonna cause me to lose my shiat every time I found a ding or a nick in it. I never understand people who invite that kind of stress into their lives.
 
2011-07-26 01:37:45 PM

SkunkWerks: .

And you're still having a different argument. Good luck with that.


Holy shiat. That's been my arguement from the begining chump. When I pointed out a cop and constable are not the same thing.

I'm not arguing the mentality aspect, just the fact that they're not the same damn thing even though you use "TOWN COP" all the way through your argument. He's not a town cop.
 
2011-07-26 01:41:44 PM

craig328: Took this one about 2 years back at the local supermarket:

[i819.photobucket.com image 610x456]

The funny part? The tag was a handicapped tag.


Heh, they were blind. The seeing-eye dog had to park.
 
2011-07-26 01:49:13 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I think what some of you people don't realize is that many people are very important. Limits shouldn't apply to them. They are winners and don't have time to abide by insignificant laws like parking regulations and whatnot. They don't have time to "park inside the lines" or abide by traffic lights. They have places to go and simply are too busy to conform to your silly standards. They drive nice cars, and to make sure one of you slovenly jerks doesn't park too close, they HAVE to take up two spaces. They deserve the extra space. If you're a loser who drives an inexpensive car, you don't need to take up more than one space, because, why bother?. But if you're one of society's successful and affluent people, your contributions (in taxes) entitle you to an extra parking space.

Society really should be thanking guys like this, instead of persecuting him.


You kid, but seriously: 4% of the population (1 in 25) are sociopaths. Literally people who not only don't care what people think, but are incapable of imagining caring about what other people think.

I'm anti-keying. I prefer a more well-thought out and cheery response.

i380.photobucket.com
 
2011-07-26 01:49:20 PM
Supermarket near me has the usual reserved handicapped spots and also reserved pregnant spots.

Surprised I haven't seen the "stranger in the alps" pic.

imcdb.org
 
2011-07-26 01:55:32 PM

shoegaze99: And it is. Even more importantly, it's stupid. It's stupid to put yourself in a position where you're a flat-out criminal rather than a dope who can't park right. Not justice. Just stupid.


It's partially genetic instinct. Game theory tests have demonstrated that people are innately willing to take personal losses to prevent what they see as abuse of group protocol, even if they themselves are not personally involevd in the offense.

This and other game theory gems are why "Rational Market Theory" is bunk.
 
2011-07-26 02:05:11 PM

PsyLord: ReverendJasen: Mykeru: Rather, why not put a big sign on windshield to amuse random passers-by roughly tailored to defeat the image the driver is trying to portray.

Suggestions:

"NAMBLA CHILD INSPECTOR PARKING PERMIT"

haha.. I'm liking that one. How about simply, "Proud NAMBLA Member Casey Anthony Supporter!"
He'll be wondering why everyone behind him in traffic is pissed off and disgusted.

Updated for the times.


Or just go for something timeless like "THE HOLOCAUST IS A JEW MYTH' or think ahead for when he is being douchey on the road with something like "I DON'T MIND [N-WORD]S OR COPS, BUT I REALLY HATE [N-WORD] COPS"

Be creative. Go as far as your imagination and Avery labels will take you.
 
2011-07-26 02:24:39 PM
The CSB is strong with this one.
 
2011-07-26 02:34:08 PM

Kim Jong B Illin: Years ago, there was a guy with a Ferrari that used to park it across two spaces at the local supermarket. Me being the obnoxious punk that I was back then, would park my beat to shiat, 1978 Chrysler station wagon right next to him, right on the line, so he couldn't get out. I went in and did my shopping and when I came out, the owner of the Ferrari was there and he was on his giant 1990 dynatac phone irately talking to the police about how someone had parked him in. I put my things in my car and the guy actually got in front of me and was trying to prevent me from leaving saying that he wanted me arrested for blocking his car. The cops arrived and he started yelling that I was blocking him. The cops checked and saw that I was not over the line, and they gave him a ticket instead for cross parking and disorderly conduct. The guy freaked out and was still yelling and screaming as I got in my car and left. Turns out he was some bigshot yuppie lawyer with bad sense of entitlement. Best part is three weeks later, I went shopping with my girlfriend and saw the same Ferrari cross parked. She boxed him in the same way with her piece of shiat 1980 chevette. We were in the mall for a good 4 hours and the guy was actually having us paged over and over again. We purposely went to a movie just because this guy was such a douche-bag.


I love that the obnoxious lawyer douche was too stupid to get in his car from the passenger side.
 
2011-07-26 02:38:07 PM
All this talk about keying cars makes me want to take a cell phone picture of the cars that park on either side of me as the SOP.

/can park fine.
/hasn't had the vehicle keyed
 
2011-07-26 02:44:44 PM

johneee: thamike: [farm6.static.flickr.com image 374x500]

Problem being that people who are douchey enough to do a lot of these things would just take one of those as a badge of pride, or some kind of douche medal.

I mean, that kind of thing on my car would make me feel bad. But when I park badly, it's because it's either accidental or because someone else was over the line in the last available space or something. So putting one of those on my car isn't going to do any good there either.

The people who take up two handicapped spots for their dick compensator feel better by making other people feel bad. Putting a sticker on their car just proves to them that they've won.

Personally, I think sugar in the gas tank is a more appropriate response. Or just put all the douches on an island where they can be douches to one another without getting the rest of us involved.


Not if it was one of those stickers like the city uses on glass you can never get off... the orange notices that indicate a vehicle is gonne be towed... but with that message :D
 
2011-07-26 02:58:03 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: I love that the obnoxious lawyer douche was too stupid to get in his car from the passenger side.


Ha-ha. You pointed out an obvious flaw in the story that only you, yes YOU were astute enough to notice, thus putting the OP and us all to shame.

Or maybe you are just a moron.

The point isn't whether the OP parked in such a way that the douche couldn't get in his car.

He parked in such a way that the douche couldn't back out on the diagonal they way he parked because a car which was parked properly was now in his way.

It's justice.

P.S. In case I failed to point it out, you're dumb.
 
2011-07-26 03:02:12 PM

Julieahni: PsyLord: shoegaze99: PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.

In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.

I have no problems with that. If they applied for and received one, then they are legally able to park in that spot and should display the placard. If she fails to do that and parks in a handicapped spot, she deserves the ticket.

I know. You park in a handicap spot and you're 8 1/2 months pregnant, don't even think about it without a placard. Rules are rules and no big, pregnant biatch should be allowed any help from anyone. Pregnant coont.


Well, yeah. Though I'd have said it without the attitude. It doesn't even matter if you're a basket case without arms and legs, driving your car by blowing through a tube. If you don't have the placard, it's illegal to park there.

I'm qualified for my handicap placard three different ways. But if I forget to hang it on the mirror when I get out of the car, then I deserve a ticket, too.

You seem to perceive some huge injustice here, but I don't know what. At least in PA, getting a temporary placard for pregnancy, sprained ankle, or whatever is quick, easy and free (other than having your Dr sign a form). You don't even have to go to the DMV. What's the big deal?
 
2011-07-26 03:03:31 PM

Kid Lester: shoegaze99: PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.

In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.

My wife always says she'd prefer to have reserved parking for people with infants. Never had a problem getting around when she was pregnant. Just a PITA when you've got a newborn/infant. A few supermarkets around here have spots reserved for patrons with infants. But it's just an honor system. Anybody who thinks us breeders don't deserve special parking privileges can still park there :)


And we do :D
 
2011-07-26 03:08:09 PM

Savage Belief: All the vitriol overall parking space. Sure the guy's a douchebag, but beatings? Death?

You guys need to work on your anger issues


yeah, seriously... you are just not angry enough...
 
2011-07-26 03:13:56 PM
I can't believe this hasn't been posted yet.

i117.photobucket.com
 
2011-07-26 03:15:18 PM

Mykeru: The My Little Pony Killer: I love that the obnoxious lawyer douche was too stupid to get in his car from the passenger side.

Ha-ha. You pointed out an obvious flaw in the story that only you, yes YOU were astute enough to notice, thus putting the OP and us all to shame.

Or maybe you are just a moron.

The point isn't whether the OP parked in such a way that the douche couldn't get in his car.

He parked in such a way that the douche couldn't back out on the diagonal they way he parked because a car which was parked properly was now in his way.

It's justice.

P.S. In case I failed to point it out, you're dumb.


I missed that part of the story. Sorry my reading comprehension is not as astute as yours. If you had taken five seconds to think about it instead of posting a reactionary reply for no other reason than to make your penis seem larger than mine, you could have taken that into consideration.

/doesn't have a penis
//good luck with that measuring contest
 
2011-07-26 03:16:32 PM

KarmaSpork: Firmly in the no keying camp. There are so many other creative ways to make them pay that property damage isn't necessary.

Legally park em in, surround the car with shopping carts, big sign on windshield, vaseline on wiper blades...and for the handicapped hijackers a nice ticket and tow.

Just use your noggin, not your lawyer.


The thing is, I doubt that very many of the talkers do ANYTHING. They are just living out some pathetic passive aggressive fantasies on the internet....and if they are actually damaging peoples shiat, then I feel even worse for them because they are just sad children dealing with some other impotent rage that they are experiencing. I mean, seriously, that angry over a parking space? LOL.

That said, I don't have a car, so I don't really GAF.
 
2011-07-26 03:17:01 PM

d3bug: Savage Belief: All the vitriol overall parking space. Sure the guy's a douchebag, but beatings? Death?

You guys need to work on your anger issues

yeah, seriously... you are just not angry enough...


i3.squidoocdn.com

"FIRE!"
 
2011-07-26 03:25:36 PM
I used to get angry at people who didn't park correctly or people who didn't follow traffic rules. Then I grew up. If some douche parks across three spaces in a parking lot, I don't let it get to me. He's a douche and will always be a douche...so why worry about it? You can't teach these people any lessons. Show respect when you can and ignore people when they don't deserve it.

A lot of you seem angry at others when they have a nice car...why? You don't like nice things? Would it be reasonable for someone to piss on your house because you have a nice finished basement? Should I call you a dick if I see you walking around with a brand new laptop? Some day you guys will grow up and realize it's just wasted emotion worrying about what other people do or how they act. Until then, try not to key any cars...it's a cowardly, immature thing to do to someone. If someone's doing something illegal, tell the authorities. If someone's just being a dick, let them be...life finds a way of shiatting on them eventually.
 
2011-07-26 03:26:08 PM

The My Little Pony Killer:

I missed that part of the story. Sorry my reading comprehension is not as astute as yours. If you had taken five seconds to think about it instead of posting a reactionary reply for no other reason than to make your penis seem larger than mine, you could have taken that into consideration.

/doesn't have a penis
//good luck with that measuring contest


welcometofark.jpg
 
2011-07-26 03:29:22 PM

SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.

It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.

It won't since that's not the problem.

ok you're saying he's a town cop. I'm saying he's not. where's the confusion.

To my mind, Town Cops are, at best, just below mall rent-a-cops in terms of their laughability/not-taking-seriously factor, and this is whether or not they actually have any real influence as an officer of the lawl.

Ironically, In the mind of a Town Cop, this distortion of reality works more or less in an inversely proportional fashion. i.e.: They think they're God's gift to the town, the county, and prolly the whole damn state as well. To that end they carry themselves with all the swagger of The Donald, save minus the billions of dollars and casinos.

The problem I was alluding to was attitude. This guy honestly thinks he has something akin to a divine right to be a giant douchebag. Doesn't matter if he's "actually a cop" or not.

ok, when you underline Town Constable and say oh he's a town cop thats the problem, and I call you out saying town constables are not cops, you have to provide a defense

Why? You're clearly having a different argument.

Sorry chucklehead, you said constable and cop were the same thing. I'm merely pointing out that they are not.

And you're still having a different argument. Good luck with that.


FFS, would you two get a room already? O.o
 
2011-07-26 03:35:03 PM

Beowoolfie: Julieahni: PsyLord: shoegaze99: PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.

In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.

I have no problems with that. If they applied for and received one, then they are legally able to park in that spot and should display the placard. If she fails to do that and parks in a handicapped spot, she deserves the ticket.

I know. You park in a handicap spot and you're 8 1/2 months pregnant, don't even think about it without a placard. Rules are rules and no big, pregnant biatch should be allowed any help from anyone. Pregnant coont.

Well, yeah. Though I'd have said it without the attitude. It doesn't even matter if you're a basket case without arms and legs, driving your car by blowing through a tube. If you don't have the placard, it's illegal to park there.

I'm qualified for my handicap placard three different ways. But if I forget to hang it on the mirror when I get out of the car, then I deserve a ticket, too.

You seem to perceive some huge injustice here, but I don't know what. At least in PA, getting a temporary placard for pregnancy, sprained ankle, or whatever is quick, easy and free (other than having your Dr sign a form). You don't even have to go to the DMV. What's the big deal?smedrick: I used to get angry at people who didn't park correctly or people who didn't follow traffic rules. Then I grew up. If some douche parks across three spaces in a parking lot, I don't let it get to me. He's a douche and will always be a douche...so why worry about it? You can't teach these people any lessons. Show respect when you can and ignore people when they don't deserve it.

A lot of you seem angry at others when they have a nice car...why? You don't like nice things? Would it be reasonable for someone to piss on your house because you have a nice finished basement? Should I call you a dick if I see you walking around with a brand new laptop? Some day you guys will grow up and realize it's just wasted emotion worrying about what other people do or how they act. Until then, try not to key any cars...it's a cowardly, immature thing to do to someone. If someone's doing something illegal, tell the authorities. If someone's just being a dick, let them be...life finds a way of shiatting on them eventually.

This.

 
2011-07-26 03:35:43 PM
Oops.
 
2011-07-26 03:36:28 PM

smedrick: I used to get angry at people who didn't park correctly or people who didn't follow traffic rules. Then I grew up. If some douche parks across three spaces in a parking lot, I don't let it get to me. He's a douche and will always be a douche...so why worry about it? You can't teach these people any lessons. Show respect when you can and ignore people when they don't deserve it.

A lot of you seem angry at others when they have a nice car...why? You don't like nice things? Would it be reasonable for someone to piss on your house because you have a nice finished basement? Should I call you a dick if I see you walking around with a brand new laptop? Some day you guys will grow up and realize it's just wasted emotion worrying about what other people do or how they act. Until then, try not to key any cars...it's a cowardly, immature thing to do to someone. If someone's doing something illegal, tell the authorities. If someone's just being a dick, let them be...life finds a way of shiatting on them eventually.


This is my this!
 
2011-07-26 03:46:19 PM
Me, I don't key. I don't let air out of the tires. I don't use gum on the key hole.

I keep a bottle of 100% pure acetone in a squeeze bottle. Little squirt of this on a hood, roof or trunk and walk away.

/Brake fluid and Coolant work great too but those are colored and easy to spot. Acetone looks like water and evaporates fast enough not to leave evidence of it's presence.
//Only used for those who park so close to my parking spot I can't get in to my vehicle or for cockbites such as the one FTFA.
 
2011-07-26 03:56:18 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: I missed that part of the story. Sorry my reading comprehension is not as astute as yours.


Not a question of having astute reading comprehension. Just having reading comprehension.

If you had taken five seconds to think about it instead of posting a reactionary reply for no other reason than to make your penis seem larger than mine, you could have taken that into consideration.

I'm hung like a pituitary dwarf gnat. In fact, my penis is so tiny and concave that for years it was misdiagnosed as a hemorrhoid. I've come to terms with how small, pathetic and damn funny my penis is. You, however, seem obsessed with it. How are YOU doin'?

/doesn't have a penis
//good luck with that measuring contest


/You don't need a penis
//You ARE a penis.

i242.photobucket.com

Here you go, snowflake:

tissuecoupons.org
 
2011-07-26 03:58:30 PM

smedrick: A lot of you seem angry at others when they have a nice car...why?


I can only hope that enormous planet-killer asteroids miss the earth by the distance that you missed the point.
 
2011-07-26 04:15:35 PM

Mykeru: smedrick: A lot of you seem angry at others when they have a nice car...why?

I can only hope that enormous planet-killer asteroids miss the earth by the distance that you missed the point.


No, there were multiple points made throughout this thread and I caught all of them.
 
2011-07-26 04:58:18 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I think what some of you people don't realize is that many people are very important. Limits shouldn't apply to them. They are winners and don't have time to abide by insignificant laws like parking regulations and whatnot. They don't have time to "park inside the lines" or abide by traffic lights. They have places to go and simply are too busy to conform to your silly standards. They drive nice cars, and to make sure one of you slovenly jerks doesn't park too close, they HAVE to take up two spaces. They deserve the extra space. If you're a loser who drives an inexpensive car, you don't need to take up more than one space, because, why bother?. But if you're one of society's successful and affluent people, your contributions (in taxes) entitle you to an extra parking space.

Society really should be thanking guys like this, instead of persecuting him.


Finally, the voice of reason!
 
2011-07-26 05:26:08 PM
The guy in the article sounds like a real winner. Too bad he is probably immune to feelings of shame.

But what I don't understand is how some people use someone's bad parking as an excuse to commit vandalism. The vandal is by far the bigger jerk, no matter how badly the other car is parked. And how do you know that car isn't just parked a bit over the line because they had to squeeze into a spot next to another badly parked car?

Anyway, CSB: I went to Panda Express one day, and saw a guy park his massive, douchemobile truck over two handicapped spots. He blocked the ONLY two handicapped spots in the lot. Then he proceeded to go inside the restaurant, take a bunch of condiments and plastic utensils, and then leave without making a purchase. But he did stop for a smoke right in front of the damn door before he got back in his truck. The employees were pissed, but none of them did anything about it. If he had stuck around longer than 2 minutes, I would have called the cops to report his parking job.

Seriously, who buys a $50,000+ truck and then can't be bothered to buy a damn bag of plastic silverware?? There was a WalMart right next door.... and a Target, and a convenience store just a bit farther away.
 
2011-07-26 06:11:51 PM
I'm right with you 5 dollar milkshake

Behind my building the parking area is not clearly marked or divided up. So we tend to have a mishmash of residents, business owners/employees, delivery vehicles and tourist/out-of-towners stacked up. Cars are frequently blocked in. But we somehow manage to talk to each other and courteously rearrange the vehicles to let each other in and out as needed.

I hope I never park near any of you jackoffs and your misplaced, out of proportion vitriol.

/but yeah the guy in TFA is definitely a dickwad.
 
2011-07-26 07:06:26 PM

PsyLord: Since we are talking about bad parkers, how about the SUV that decides to park in a parking space that is designated for compact cars?

[www.foundshiat.com image 500x415]
/hot like parking rage


"The" SUV? That's like 7 of them.
 
2011-07-26 07:06:44 PM

video man: thamike: video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".

You're probably not a keyer. I get the impression keyers aren't strong critical thinkers.

I never have keyed a car myself. I often do wish a keying upon a shiatty park job, but have never keyed myself.
/Once saw a corvette park in 5~6 spots and then get keyed shortly after.
//Kid even had the decency to write "LOL" on the hood.


I recommend a cheapy skull ring from the pawn shop. Turn it around so the skull/horns (get a skull with horns, it works better and plus it way more badass-looking) are on the inside, and just run your hand across the car. Still have the camera problem, but then you can go with "oopsie I didn't notice" and the camera will back you up. Remember to turn the ring back around - the camera won't be able to tell which way around it is but if they see it facing the inside, you're done.
 
2011-07-26 07:22:09 PM

BeSerious: PsyLord: Since we are talking about bad parkers, how about the SUV that decides to park in a parking space that is designated for compact cars?

[www.foundshiat.com image 500x415]
/hot like parking rage

"The" SUV? That's like 7 of them.


Yeah, I lucked out finding that after GIS'ing for the post. But you get my meaning. The problem I have with huge cars parking in compact spaces is that the vehicle can hinder entry/exit of adjacent vehicles and/ increase the chances of door dings.
 
2011-07-26 07:34:38 PM

smedrick: No, there were multiple points made throughout this thread and I caught all of them.


Cool. Once you are done declaring yourself victor and humbly superior, why not elect yourself king of Fark too in a one vote ballot?
 
2011-07-26 08:54:44 PM

smedrick: I used to get angry at people who didn't park correctly or people who didn't follow traffic rules. Then I grew up. If some douche parks across three spaces in a parking lot, I don't let it get to me. He's a douche and will always be a douche...so why worry about it? You can't teach these people any lessons. Show respect when you can and ignore people when they don't deserve it.

A lot of you seem angry at others when they have a nice car...why? You don't like nice things? Would it be reasonable for someone to piss on your house because you have a nice finished basement? Should I call you a dick if I see you walking around with a brand new laptop? Some day you guys will grow up and realize it's just wasted emotion worrying about what other people do or how they act. Until then, try not to key any cars...it's a cowardly, immature thing to do to someone. If someone's doing something illegal, tell the authorities. If someone's just being a dick, let them be...life finds a way of shiatting on them eventually.


i161.photobucket.com">
 
2011-07-26 08:57:14 PM
Also, by now I'm drunk. I just don't give a shiat what anyone does right now. Just let me live my life.
 
2011-07-26 09:05:40 PM

PsyLord: Since we are talking about bad parkers, how about the SUV that decides to park in a parking space that is designated for compact cars?


What you fail to realize, though, is that in certain neighborhoods those ARE compact SUVs.

/Made myself snortle a bit after typing this, I couldn't keep a straight face.
 
2011-07-26 09:26:43 PM

Julieahni: smedrick: I used to get angry at people who didn't park correctly or people who didn't follow traffic rules. Then I grew up. If some douche parks across three spaces in a parking lot, I don't let it get to me. He's a douche and will always be a douche...so why worry about it? You can't teach these people any lessons. Show respect when you can and ignore people when they don't deserve it.

A lot of you seem angry at others when they have a nice car...why? You don't like nice things? Would it be reasonable for someone to piss on your house because you have a nice finished basement? Should I call you a dick if I see you walking around with a brand new laptop? Some day you guys will grow up and realize it's just wasted emotion worrying about what other people do or how they act. Until then, try not to key any cars...it's a cowardly, immature thing to do to someone. If someone's doing something illegal, tell the authorities. If someone's just being a dick, let them be...life finds a way of shiatting on them eventually.

This is my this!


You know what I do? I make wagers on their life expectancy. I see someone being a reckless asshole, and just mutter an arbitrary life expectancy.

"Six weeks," I'll say to myself, when some ass on a crotch-rocket does something crazy in front of me.

"Three years, 4 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, and 8 and a quarter hours," I'll mutter to myself when I see some douchebag parked across three spaces.

It makes me feel better, and nobody gets hurt. I honestly have to say I wouldn't bet on the guy with the key.
 
2011-07-26 09:26:54 PM
people.delphiforums.com
 
2011-07-26 09:53:06 PM
A few years back, at my local grocery store, a guy in a Toyota pickup with extended mirrors on chrome frames cut in front of me to grab a parking space I had been waiting for. I said something to him and he told me to go fark myself.

I had a heavy duty chain and padlock in my trunk. I chained and locked a shopping cart to his driver side mirror and left.

This happened on a Saturday evening. The truck, with shopping cart attached,was still there Monday morning.
 
2011-07-26 10:04:35 PM

schattenteufel: simusid: CSB:

Long ago I saw a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud parked across 3 handicapped spots at a McDonalds on Cape Cod.


That was mine. Do you have a problem with that, plebeian?


How much did it cost to polish out the key scratches?
 
2011-07-26 10:32:31 PM

Tainted1: schattenteufel: simusid: CSB:

Long ago I saw a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud parked across 3 handicapped spots at a McDonalds on Cape Cod.


That was mine. Do you have a problem with that, plebeian?

How much did it cost to polish out the key scratches?


It would have been a sinch, had he been able to rescue the dehydrated children and puppies trapped inside.
 
2011-07-27 12:36:07 AM

JohnReddy: A few years back, at my local grocery store, a guy in a Toyota pickup with extended mirrors on chrome frames cut in front of me to grab a parking space I had been waiting for. I said something to him and he told me to go fark myself.

I had a heavy duty chain and padlock in my trunk. I chained and locked a shopping cart to his driver side mirror and left.

This happened on a Saturday evening. The truck, with shopping cart attached,was still there Monday morning.


this is all kinds of awesome.
 
2011-07-27 02:46:45 AM

JohnReddy: A few years back, at my local grocery store, a guy in a Toyota pickup with extended mirrors on chrome frames cut in front of me to grab a parking space I had been waiting for. I said something to him and he told me to go fark myself.

I had a heavy duty chain and padlock in my trunk. I chained and locked a shopping cart to his driver side mirror and left.

This happened on a Saturday evening. The truck, with shopping cart attached,was still there Monday morning.


CSB
 
2011-07-27 04:35:28 AM
CSB:

While taking a summer youth Shakespeare workshop (yeah, I know) in Los Gatos, I parked across from the community center in which it was held.

There were legit signs up saying no parking between certain hours due to a high volume restaurant nearby and lack of parking. It was not that time of day. The assholes who owned the house I parked in front of not only painted over the part showing the hours it was illegal to park (giving them what they thought was a "No Parking" sign), they wrote me a letter laden with grammatical errors and spelling mistakes saying that they would call the police if I parked there again.

I wrote them a note on the back of their note saying that I would be glad if they called the cops so that I could more easily report them for vandalizing city property.

Parked there without incident the rest of the summer.
 
2011-07-27 05:20:31 AM
Not an especially cool story, but back in the mid-70s I worked in a nursing home that was next to the 4-J School District office. Employees were asked to park in the back parking lot that was separated by a raised cement barrier from the parking lot of the school district office, so that nursing home visitors could use the front parking lot.

At that time there was a teacher's strike in District 4J and they were using substitutes in many of the classrooms. Most of the picketing teachers were at the district office. I was working swing shift (3 p.m.-11:30 p.m.) at the time and when I went out to my car it had been vandalized, apparently by some of the picketing school employees. The headlights & taillights had been broken, the word 'SCAB" had been spraypainted on both sides of the car, on the rear window & windshield.

So some assholes decided I was one of the substitutes that had crossed the picket line. Nevermind the fact that I wasn't even parked in the school district parking lot, but the clearly marked nursing home parking lot. Never found out who was responsible for the vandalism either.

Long story short, this is why enacting "revenge" such as keying a car is wrong. I have no problem with some of those in thread have done, such as blocking someone in who is illegally parked, but keying a car is something I will never agree is appropriate.
 
2011-07-27 11:11:36 AM

PsyLord: bluehubcap: PsyLord: You sound like someone that doesn't like personal responsibility. Like I said, get the placard and display it. No problems then. You don't, then you get the ticket. Simple.

Is it hard to walk with that much sand in your vagina?

Sounds like it is for you if you can't even fill out the proper paperwork to get a placard to legally park there.

BTW - I just looked up your profile. You'd probably get more sex if you get your vagina cleaned out every once in a while.


I must say, your pussy looks clean.
 
2011-07-27 11:37:55 AM

shoegaze99: nitial crap parking was okay. No one. They've simply said the reaction is out of proportion to the initial offense. And it is. Even more importantly, it's stupid. It's stupid to put yourself in a position where you're a flat-out criminal rather than a dope who can't park righ


I agree, consider this scenario:

You arrive at the car park, someone else is parked like a dick, over the line and there are no other spaces in view so you park next to them, also slightly over the line, encroaching on someone else's space; then, while you are in the shop car A leaves making it look like your the dick head. To have someone come along and key my car for parking over the line would probably be enough to make me go postal.
 
2011-07-27 01:17:49 PM
I used to have a Ferrari that I parked diagonally all the time. Nobody bothered me because I was as far away from anything as I could get. At one place I went to regularly there was a group that parked in the far outfield in a W shape. I joined them. Nobody bothered us because there wasn't another car for 200 feet.
Still miss that car. 1967 pre-emissions 330 GTC S/N 9197
 
2011-07-27 07:54:30 PM

uglyonef: I used to have a Ferrari that I parked diagonally all the time. Nobody bothered me because I was as far away from anything as I could get. At one place I went to regularly there was a group that parked in the far outfield in a W shape. I joined them. Nobody bothered us because there wasn't another car for 200 feet.
Still miss that car. 1967 pre-emissions 330 GTC S/N 9197


So where do you have to be in 26 minutes?
 
2011-07-29 12:58:13 AM
Bathia_Mapes: Not an especially cool story, but back in the mid-70s I worked in a nursing home that was next to the 4-J School District office. Employees were asked to park in the back parking lot that was separated by a raised cement barrier from the parking lot of the school district office, so that nursing home visitors could use the front parking lot.

At that time there was a teacher's strike in District 4J and they were using substitutes in many of the classrooms. Most of the picketing teachers were at the district office. I was working swing shift (3 p.m.-11:30 p.m.) at the time and when I went out to my car it had been vandalized, apparently by some of the picketing school employees. The headlights & taillights had been broken, the word 'SCAB" had been spraypainted on both sides of the car, on the rear window & windshield.

So some assholes decided I was one of the substitutes that had crossed the picket line. Nevermind the fact that I wasn't even parked in the school district parking lot, but the clearly marked nursing home parking lot. Never found out who was responsible for the vandalism either.


Now, you see, this is something that I would not have just let slide. I would have gone in to work early and informed my supervisor what had happened. Then, on my own time, I would have marched out to the picket line and gone all bad ass on them, like the drill sargent in the movie "Full Metal Jacket":

All right, I want to know right gaaadam now who the cock sucking, twinkle toes commie rat bastard is that did this to my car. I work at the nursing home, not at your piss ant school and I was parked on nursing home property, not the schools. You have exactly 10 farking seconds to come forward and arrange to make restitution. If you do not, then the rest of you pussies have yet another 10 seconds to come forward and inform me who was responsible. If you do not, and I am sure that at least one of you know, then I am not only calling the cops, but, when they get here, I will insist that every gaaadam one of you be arrested as an accessory after the fact, cuffed and thrown into jail. Time starts now. Do not even think of farking with me.
 
2011-07-29 10:44:23 AM

Aulus: Bathia_Mapes: Not an especially cool story, but back in the mid-70s I worked in a nursing home that was next to the 4-J School District office. Employees were asked to park in the back parking lot that was separated by a raised cement barrier from the parking lot of the school district office, so that nursing home visitors could use the front parking lot.

At that time there was a teacher's strike in District 4J and they were using substitutes in many of the classrooms. Most of the picketing teachers were at the district office. I was working swing shift (3 p.m.-11:30 p.m.) at the time and when I went out to my car it had been vandalized, apparently by some of the picketing school employees. The headlights & taillights had been broken, the word 'SCAB" had been spraypainted on both sides of the car, on the rear window & windshield.

So some assholes decided I was one of the substitutes that had crossed the picket line. Nevermind the fact that I wasn't even parked in the school district parking lot, but the clearly marked nursing home parking lot. Never found out who was responsible for the vandalism either.

Now, you see, this is something that I would not have just let slide. I would have gone in to work early and informed my supervisor what had happened. Then, on my own time, I would have marched out to the picket line and gone all bad ass on them, like the drill sargent in the movie "Full Metal Jacket":

All right, I want to know right gaaadam now who the cock sucking, twinkle toes commie rat bastard is that did this to my car. I work at the nursing home, not at your piss ant school and I was parked on nursing home property, not the schools. You have exactly 10 farking seconds to come forward and arrange to make restitution. If you do not, then the rest of you pussies have yet another 10 seconds to come forward and inform me who was responsible. If you do not, and I am sure that at least one of you know, then I am not only calling the cops, but, when they get here, I will insist that every gaaadam one of you be arrested as an accessory after the fact, cuffed and thrown into jail. Time starts now. Do not even think of farking with me.


My response would be

1) Impotent rage as I screamed at the sky and fantasized about my revenge
2) Immediately followed by the fact that I know that anything in my fantasy would get me thrown in jail
3) Being in jail without being able to raise my kids is not a good thing
4) Regrettable realization that there's little I can do but I do have full coverage insurance
5) Tell myself "Well, that's what insurance is for."
6) Call police and make report knowing nothing will come of it
7) Buy new car/Fix this one
8) Park elsewhere until picket was done but keep a wary eye and ear out for any new information.

But I guess I'm a realist...
 
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