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(Some Guy)   Jerk move: parking across two parking spaces. Double jerk move: parking across two handicap spaces. Jerk trifecta: starting a fight when confronted   (www2.turnto10.com) divider line 261
    More: Dumbass, impersonating a police officer, elected officials  
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13997 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2011 at 8:26 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-07-26 10:15:57 AM
...and yeah, don't key the cars.

/pass it on.
 
2011-07-26 10:18:22 AM

StrangeQ: So then they can drive over to the paint shop and have it refinished. If they can afford to have their nice, shiny car double parked up front for everyone to see, they can afford to have it repainted. Call it the asshole tax.


You can own a nice car without having thousands of dollars in disposable income. I spent a little extra on a BMW so I wouldn't have to constantly bring it into the shop for repairs. It saved me money in the long run, but I don't have cash to piss away on self-proclaimed vigilantes.
 
2011-07-26 10:18:29 AM

smedrick: So his initial pussy behavior negates any pussy behavior from you? What's the saying? Two wrongs don't make a right? Whatever happened to taking the higher ground? Regardless of whether or not you think it's appropriate revenge, it's still a pussy thing to do.


It's kind of funny. For some, I guess the proper response to shiatty, anti-social behavior -- and make no mistake, douchebags like the guy in the linked article are small, small people -- is even shiattier anti-social behavior. In both cases, the parties are completely oblivious to what they're doing, more than happy to justify it with crappy reasoning, and have tricked themselves into thinking they're totally in the right.

Just two sides of the same coin, really.
 
2011-07-26 10:19:56 AM
This is why I lobbied for hood mounted rocket launchers.
 
2011-07-26 10:19:57 AM

liam76: Why is inconveniencing someone who did nothing to you not the act of a pussy, but doing it to someone in response to something they did the act of a pussy.


Why do you keep insinuating this despite being informed otherwise?
 
2011-07-26 10:21:29 AM
looneyspot.com
 
2011-07-26 10:23:42 AM
I'm also against keying. Totally not necessary, especially if it's just because someone parked stupid.
 
2011-07-26 10:25:37 AM

liam76: You are right, nobody said it was ok, you just seem to be against any form of retaliation that isn't time consuming. And think one was the act of a pussy, but not the other.

Why is inconveniencing someone who did nothing to you not the act of a pussy, but doing it to someone in response to something they did the act of a pussy.


Might want to pay closer attention to the person you're responding to. I've not made any "act of a pussy" arguments.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-07-26 10:26:45 AM
I wonder if you can shoot someone in Texas that is keying your car.

Only at night.
 
2011-07-26 10:30:58 AM
Looks like his was previously charged with cutting down sign poles from a neighboring business and using those for the handicap signs in question.

Link (new window)
 
2011-07-26 10:31:02 AM
I just park them in. Nothing is funnier than hearing your license plate paged over and over again while you smile and finish your shopping in a very slow and laidback manner. I only do that to people up front though. I really don't care if you double park at the back of the lot.

My favorite time was when this soccer mom cross-parked her giant SUV. The was a big dumpster in front of her car and I parked really close behind her car. I spent about two hours shopping. I came out to see the cops arguing with her on how they couldn't tow my vehicle. I turned around and when back in to waste another hour. When I got to my car there was a note on it that said (paraphrased) "Hey a-hole, thanks for parking me in! I had to call my husband to come get me you dick! He was NOT happy leaving work for this shiat! Hope you enjoy your keyed car!" I called the cops and they just shook their heads from the stupidity.

Not only was she inconvenienced, but had to pay to have my car re-painted to the tune of $2500. Oh and the $500 fine for criminal vandalism. I had to take her to court to get anything and after I won her husband screamed at her calling her a stupid waste of space as they left they court room. I always secretly hoped he beat her.
 
2011-07-26 10:33:48 AM
Forget keying the car or cutting the valve stems

Just get a $3 valve stem removal tool and some small ziploc baggies and leave all 4 stems inside the bag under the wiper

No damage but definately a dick move
 
2011-07-26 10:36:28 AM

SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.


Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.
 
2011-07-26 10:41:26 AM

hailin: I just park them in. Nothing is funnier than hearing your license plate paged over and over again while you smile and finish your shopping in a very slow and laidback manner. I only do that to people up front though. I really don't care if you double park at the back of the lot.

My favorite time was when this soccer mom cross-parked her giant SUV. The was a big dumpster in front of her car and I parked really close behind her car. I spent about two hours shopping. I came out to see the cops arguing with her on how they couldn't tow my vehicle. I turned around and when back in to waste another hour. When I got to my car there was a note on it that said (paraphrased) "Hey a-hole, thanks for parking me in! I had to call my husband to come get me you dick! He was NOT happy leaving work for this shiat! Hope you enjoy your keyed car!" I called the cops and they just shook their heads from the stupidity.

Not only was she inconvenienced, but had to pay to have my car re-painted to the tune of $2500. Oh and the $500 fine for criminal vandalism. I had to take her to court to get anything and after I won her husband screamed at her calling her a stupid waste of space as they left they court room. I always secretly hoped he beat her.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-07-26 10:42:08 AM
Lance: Still got your Malibu?
Vincent: Aw, man. You know what some farker did the other day?
Lance: What?
Vincent: farking keyed it.
Lance: Oh, man, that's farked up.
Vincent: Tell me about it. I had it in storage for three years, it was out for five days and some dickless piece of shiat farked with it.
Lance: They should be farking killed. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.
Vincent: Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it just so I could've caught him doing it.
Lance: What a farker!
Vincent: What's more chickenshiat than farking with a man's automobile? I mean, don't fark with another man's vehicle.
Lance: You don't do it.
Vincent: It's just against the rules.

/am I the only one that thought of this?
 
2011-07-26 10:42:28 AM
What is the legality of cordoning the vehicle with police line tape?
 
2011-07-26 10:44:24 AM
A few months ago in my friends parking garage I saw a black truck backed in and taking two spots right up the middle. This was in the visitors parking section where parking spots are quite hard to get. Someone had applied a 1ft by 1ft square black decal over the drivers side part of the windshield (size estimated).

When I left a few hours later the truck was gone and there were dozens of small black ripped sticker pieces scattered around the area it was parked. Whatever material (I'm guessing vinyl) and adhesive the decal was comprised of had to have been a pain in the @$$ to get off. I highly doubt the douche got all of it off. I laughed.
 
2011-07-26 10:45:47 AM
Masshole
 
2011-07-26 10:49:43 AM

shoegaze99: Might want to pay closer attention to the person you're responding to. I've not made any "act of a pussy" arguments


You are right you didn't, my mistake.

But you chimed in when I was responding to someone who did, so I assumed you were on the same page as him (and on a fark thread with the level of attention I am giving a smedrick looks like a shoegaze).

smedrick: Why do you keep insinuating this despite being informed otherwise?


when did you inform me that the person who parked like a jackass was being a pussy?

Julieahni: I'm also against keying. Totally not necessary, especially if it's just because someone parked stupid.


If you are over the line and nobody is around I agree.

If you take up two spots in the front, or park so close somebody can't get into their car I got no problem keying, and have.
 
2011-07-26 10:50:21 AM
www.allserialkillers.com

Also took issue with parkers.
 
2011-07-26 10:50:56 AM
I smell a caption contest! Winner gets his caption put on stickers for Farkers to distribute on the vehicles of handicapped spaced, double parking, self righteous, douch nosed, lazy fat slobby, A holes!

I drove my grandfather to the pharmacy one day (of many) to fill a prescription. And parked behind a "lazy fat slobby" self righteous biatch parked in the handicapped space with no plate or placard hanging from the mirror. She came out screaming at me to move. I told her i would after my grandfather came out. Someone in the store called the law and they arrived at the same time my G-pa came out. When the law found out that he was a WW2 vet and amputee, the law wrote her every ticket they could stick her with. Bet she walks some of that cellulite off by parking in regular spots now.
 
2011-07-26 10:53:38 AM

liam76: If you are over the line and nobody is around I agree.


Then you're an even bigger douchebag than the crappy parker. Glad we've got that settled.
 
2011-07-26 10:54:37 AM
If they would just add a few parking spots with this sign:

1.bp.blogspot.com

Everybody would be taken care of.
 
2011-07-26 10:55:50 AM
The people who are parked partially over the line could have been forced to by the car next to them doing the same. If you mess with a car for that, without actually seeing the person park, you're an idiot.
 
2011-07-26 11:01:19 AM

LL316: liam76: If you are over the line and nobody is around I agree.

Then you're an even bigger douchebag than the crappy parker. Glad we've got that settled.


So because I don't want to mess witht he car of a person who parks over the line where nobody else is around, I am worse than the crappy parker?

Of dipshiat.
 
2011-07-26 11:03:48 AM
What an obnoxious piece of shiat!

You can tell he's a real peach by his picture -- and that nose of his looks like it's just DESIGNED to be punched.

Hopefully, he'll be stripped of his positions and have his arse suited off in court.
 
2011-07-26 11:04:24 AM

Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.


Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.
 
2011-07-26 11:05:33 AM
CSS:

Once, I pulled in to grab a sammich and there was one available spot. On my right, the guy parked about an inch over the line, forcing me to park inches from the passenger side of the guy on my left to take the spot (who was parked a little awkwardly in a diagonal spot). Guy on my left comes out, looks at me and says, "Are you kidding? Is this some kind of a joke?" I point to the car on my left (noting I'm pretty much as close to him), say sorry and offer to pull out and repark after he leaves. He says it's no big deal and proceeds to try to back out, even though it would have been easier for me as I was parked parallel to the lines. After he goes, I back out and re-park so that I don't wind up hit with the door of the car on my left.

Just curious, but what if the guy on my right came out and moved first? I dunno, I don't think I would have deserved a keying if I was forced to park like a douche because there's one spot left and someone else parked like a douche. I suppose if I don't want "social justice" to come after me, I should go home and just make myself a sammich.
 
2011-07-26 11:10:08 AM

jennies1897: CSS:

Once, I pulled in to grab a sammich and there was one available spot. On my right, the guy parked about an inch over the line, forcing me to park inches from the passenger side of the guy on my left to take the spot (who was parked a little awkwardly in a diagonal spot). Guy on my left comes out, looks at me and says, "Are you kidding? Is this some kind of a joke?" I point to the car on my left (noting I'm pretty much as close to him), say sorry and offer to pull out and repark after he leaves. He says it's no big deal and proceeds to try to back out, even though it would have been easier for me as I was parked parallel to the lines. After he goes, I back out and re-park so that I don't wind up hit with the door of the car on my left.

Just curious, but what if the guy on my right came out and moved first? I dunno, I don't think I would have deserved a keying if I was forced to park like a douche because there's one spot left and someone else parked like a douche. I suppose if I don't want "social justice" to come after me, I should go home and just make myself a sammich.


If you stayed in the kitchen, none of that would have ever happened.

But yes, you illustrate a very reasonable scenario and further proof that keying someone's car is simply not a good thing to do.
 
2011-07-26 11:13:24 AM
All the vitriol overall parking space. Sure the guy's a douchebag, but beatings? Death?

You guys need to work on your anger issues
 
2011-07-26 11:15:51 AM

smedrick: But yes, you illustrate a very reasonable scenario and further proof that keying someone's car is simply not a good thing to do.


I am strictly anti-keying. I wouldn't even key the car of someone who cheated on me. One would have to poison my dog or something, and even my reaction to that would involve at least a baseball bat and the guy's head, not a key and his car.
 
2011-07-26 11:16:26 AM

jennies1897: CSS:

Once, I pulled in to grab a sammich and there was one available spot. On my right, the guy parked about an inch over the line, forcing me to park inches from the passenger side of the guy on my left to take the spot (who was parked a little awkwardly in a diagonal spot). Guy on my left comes out, looks at me and says, "Are you kidding? Is this some kind of a joke?" I point to the car on my left (noting I'm pretty much as close to him), say sorry and offer to pull out and repark after he leaves. He says it's no big deal and proceeds to try to back out, even though it would have been easier for me as I was parked parallel to the lines. After he goes, I back out and re-park so that I don't wind up hit with the door of the car on my left.

Just curious, but what if the guy on my right came out and moved first? I dunno, I don't think I would have deserved a keying if I was forced to park like a douche because there's one spot left and someone else parked like a douche. I suppose if I don't want "social justice" to come after me, I should go home and just make myself a sammich.


As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".
 
2011-07-26 11:16:45 AM

SkunkWerks: Seacop: SkunkWerks: Morra is an elected member of the Fairhaven Planning Board, as well as a constable who was appointed by the New Bedford City Council.

There's your problem right there. They say state cops have a god complex, but they have nothing on Town Cops, in my experience.

Town Constables are no longer police officers and have no LE authority.

Pretty sure that doesn't fix the problem.


It will since they charged him with impersonating an officer.
 
2011-07-26 11:17:06 AM

Soca: The people who are parked partially over the line could have been forced to by the car next to them doing the same. If you mess with a car for that, without actually seeing the person park, you're an idiot.


Yep.

Never keyed a car. But came out at the end of a Phils game once on a 95 degree July day. Somebody had left a yellow lab in a black Explorer parked in the middle of the packed parking lot by our car. Had the window down an inch and the dog was at the window gasping for air. Car was locked. Had to have been parked there for hours. This was back in 93. Nobody had a cell phone to call the authorities. I remember sitting in our car and writing some screed to leave on the douchebag's windshield. My friend who was driving hops in the driver seat, crumbles up my note and backs out to leave. I'm saying, "What the F dude?" when I notice he'd keyed the entire vehicle.

Who the f*ck takes a dog to a ball game so they can leave them locked in the car for hours? In July?

I'm sure there were other solutions to this issue, such as grabbing a lot attendant or just waiting around to kick the owner's ass. But we were all about 23 at the time and had been putting away plenty of beer on a hot day. Memory's a little hazy.
 
2011-07-26 11:17:45 AM

video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".


You're probably not a keyer. I get the impression keyers aren't strong critical thinkers.
 
2011-07-26 11:19:45 AM

XNTXN: [theinternetoncomputers.com image 334x480]


Bravo!
 
2011-07-26 11:19:58 AM
CSB:

I was waiting in a car at a shopping mall just before closing and the parking lot was nearly empty except for the clown that had parked their non-handicap vehicle in a handicap spot outside the drug store. I watched as a cop started to write a ticket...then a woman came out of the store who looked about 8 1/2 mos pregnant waddling towards her illegally parked car...and the cop tore up the ticket.

Sometimes, reason really does prevail.
 
2011-07-26 11:20:22 AM
Since we're sharing;

Years ago I was taking my 16yr old daughter to a movie. In front of the theater we came across a guy in a wheelchair whose lift-van, in the handicapped space, was blocked by a douchebag who had parked in that blue-line crosshatched area that is reserved for wheelchair liftgates. The guys van had "Proud Vietnam Vet" bumperstickers all over. We stopped and said "Want any help kicking their asses?" (my kid just got back from her karate studio). He laughed and said "Thanks, but this isn't my first rodeo, the cops and tow truck are on the way." He was in his wheelchair right behind the offending car, he was gonna keep them there. My kid and I ran in and got popcorn, came back and watched the show as the cops wrote a PILE of tickets as the tow truckdriver YANKED the car out of the space and into the sunset. A small crowd had gathered and broke out in applause as the car 'unfortunately' was towed over a few curbs on the way out. The guy seemed geniunely touched that he was blocked in by one asshole, but surrounded by a dozen or more supporters.

We never did see the owner of the car..maybe they came out and saw everybody gathered around and decided to just take the bus.
 
2011-07-26 11:21:12 AM

video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".


Yep.
 
2011-07-26 11:22:41 AM

bluehubcap: CSB:

I was waiting in a car at a shopping mall just before closing and the parking lot was nearly empty except for the clown that had parked their non-handicap vehicle in a handicap spot outside the drug store. I watched as a cop started to write a ticket...then a woman came out of the store who looked about 8 1/2 mos pregnant waddling towards her illegally parked car...and the cop tore up the ticket.

Sometimes, reason really does prevail.


So the moral of the story: the cop realized that the driver was a woman and was therefore legally handicapped?

/pregnant does not equal handicapped.
 
2011-07-26 11:23:57 AM

video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".


You're missing the core of her question, though. If the person who forced her to park like shiat pulled away while she was in the store, leaving only her car, you'd have no idea that she was forced into the position. It would merely look like she parked like shiat. With the other car long gone, by all appearances she'd be a coont who can't park ... even though it was really crappy circumstances that forced her into it.

That's what she is saying to potential keyers. You might think you're about to do social justice on someone, but if you didn't see them park you really can't know for sure.

This doesn't apply to the brazen cross-parking folks, of course. No one is forced to park diagonally across multiple spaces, or to take a handicapped spot when you're not handicapped.

(Not that I endorse keying these people, either; I don't. Proportion, folks, Proportion.)
 
2011-07-26 11:24:00 AM
When I was young and stupid, I keyed a car for double parking.

It was in a mall parking lot during Christmas shopping season. It is nearly impossible to find a parking spot. Walking in I see a Honda civic with custom paint job, all fixed up like a wanna-be race car, and parked in 2 spaces towards the front. I was so pissed and keyed the fark out of that car. I bet he was pissed.
 
2011-07-26 11:26:38 AM

PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.


While true, if the officer went home to tell his wife and mother of his kids what he did, she's cut his nuts off, so he used some discretion.
 
2011-07-26 11:26:47 AM

thamike: video man: As a potential keyer, I would look at the situation as "Someone parked like shiat, and someone else was forced to park like shiat. I cannot deem which is which, and there will be no keying today".

You're probably not a keyer. I get the impression keyers aren't strong critical thinkers.


I never have keyed a car myself. I often do wish a keying upon a shiatty park job, but have never keyed myself.
/Once saw a corvette park in 5~6 spots and then get keyed shortly after.
//Kid even had the decency to write "LOL" on the hood.
 
2011-07-26 11:29:08 AM

hailin: I always secretly hoped he beat her.


This is like the sweet red cherry on that delicious story sundae. Oh my how I laughed.
 
2011-07-26 11:31:33 AM
Here is a thought or two for the vigilante keyers out there. You can't be certain the driver is the owner. You really can't be certain the driver winds up paying for it. You could be caught on a security camera, or seen by a witness who reports you to police.
 
2011-07-26 11:31:40 AM
On another occasion;

I'd just picked up my brand-new-right-off-the-showroom-floor Toyota truck. Drove girlfriend to pick up her ski boots. I was totally beat from work so, while she was in the store, put the driver seat back to catch some shuteye. While laying down, a car roars into the spot next to me..the driver throws his door open with so much force that when it impacts my passenger door it actually rocks my hours-old truck to the side. By the time I get my seat up and out of my truck, he is gone. I look and sure enough..a grape-sized dimple in my new door...scratched to the metal.

I did NOT key his car...that is so low-brow.

However, I DID kick off both side-view mirrors ...leaving them hanging by their servo-motor cables...and peeled off his registration stickers.

Oh...and may have peed on his door handles....
 
2011-07-26 11:31:44 AM

thamike: [farm6.static.flickr.com image 374x500]


OMG someone stole my idea.
 
2011-07-26 11:32:08 AM

PsyLord: /pregnant does not equal handicapped.


In some states it actually does; pregnant women can apply for temporary placards, usually in their final trimester, allowing them to park in handicapped parking spaces. This is the case in Texas, Oklahoma, New York, California, and others.
 
2011-07-26 11:34:56 AM

If there are special handicapped parking spots, there should also be special douchebag-only spots. It's only fair. Double wide, perhaps with raised barriers in between. The permit tag for these spots would read:

YES I AM A DOUCHEBAG!
 
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