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Super hunan determination, Kilimanjaro via trebuchet, and a clean snatch from Miss Brazil: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/3 - 7/9
Posted by Drew at 2011-07-14 7:02:37 PM (17 comments) | Permalink

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5134 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2011 at 7:32 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, he's setting up new Fight Clubs studying at Columbia this week, but he should be back soon. In the meantime, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-03 to Sat 2011-07-09:

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  For your Sunday entertainment: The 100 Best Cheerleader Pics Ever. Sure, it's a slideshow, but really, it's just 100 mouseclicks. You can do that with one hand    
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  Woman in China catches toddler who falls 10 stories, displaying super hunan determination    
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  Miss Brazil robbed at gunpoint. It was a clean snatch    
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  Men shine lasers at LAPD helicopters. Cops quickly track them down by process of illumination    
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  Legless soldier aims for Mount Kilimanjaro. Now to find someone to pull the trigger on the trebuchet    
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  Ronald Reagan monument unveiled outside London's US embassy. New statue promptly takes 15-point lead in GOP presidential poll    
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  Can of spray-on tan explodes, injuring six. YO, THE HUMANITY    
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  Taco Bell to bring Wi-Fi to nearly 6,000 locations. And if anyone knows how to deliver a speedy download, it's Taco Bell    
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  Police seek help in locating stolen newspaper vending machine, whatever the hell that is    
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  Tropical storm Calvin gaining strength off Mexico's west coast, may soon transmogrify into a hurricane. Or a herd of snowmen. Or a T Rex flying a jet fighter    
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  Coast Guard searching for seven lost at sea. The missing described as a chubby boat captain, a skinny deck hand, two wealthy retirees, a beautiful actress, a farm girl, and a scientist    
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Sports:

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  Seven months after divorcing Eva Longoria, Tony Parker now dating 20-year-old French pageant queen. Once again he shows his awesome rebounding skills    
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  Tour de France cyclist Frank Schleck accidentally ate a bee or wasp during Sunday's time trial. Doctors say other than catching a slight buzz, he'll be fine    
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  Indians successfully drive Yankees from their homeland. This is most certainly not a repeat from 1492    
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Geek:

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  What can 2,914 female Australian twins teach us about orgasms? Besides that subby should learn to get his pants off faster, that is    
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  Are your index and ring fingers close to the same size? Congratulations on the long penis    
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  New t-shirt built from piezoelectric film charges your cell phone by converting ambient sound to electricity. If you wear it to a Manowar show, you can power London for six hours    
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  Shipwreck? Check. Insanity from lead poisoning? Check. Possible cannibalism? Check. File under "classic British misadventure"    
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  Researchers have found that cockroaches prefer right turns, only have one look    
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  Co.cc blocked    
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  CNN reports that sometimes companies pay attention when you tweet about them #ricromero    
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  Parasites make sex worthwhile, say scientists who clearly have never had children    
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  Katamari Damacy designer hired to help create an MMO set inside the minds of supernatural creatures. A game destined to be so weird, reading this headline gave you a contact high    
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  Arizona city has creative new fuel source. You've got to be shiattin' me    
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Entertainment:

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  Katie Holmes hits the water in spiffy bikini. Her belly button, unfortunately, was hit by a navel destroyer    
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  Chloe Sevigny gets a grip on fashion, chokes up, says it sucks, she's 'not excited by contemporary fashion'', will debut her own fashion line. Now that's a mouthful    
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  The artist Bow Wow reveals two secrets in his open letter to the public. 1) He has a new baby girl. 2) He has a tenuous relationship with literacy    
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Politics:

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  Sarah Palin was reportedly reduced to tears over footage of celebrities insulting her in her new documentary, and her old man got so pissed he tore his shirt off and peeled out of the theater parking lot in his IROC-Z    
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  Minnesota shutdown continues with 23,000 public employees now out of work. Government officials desperately hoping to end the shutdown before winter arrives in mid-August    
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  House Speaker John Boehner admits he is putting the economy at risk for a double-dip, blames Obama and Costanza    
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Business:

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  GE gets $27B order for thrust reversers. SPOILER ALERT    
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  Clown Shoes' Tramp Stamp IPA will be renamed "Lower Back Tattoo" to avoid any conflicts with the NAWWRGTS (National Association of Women Who Regret Getting Tramp Stamps)    
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  Real estate value site Zillow finally sets its IPO price on paper, but it's really 20-30% less when it comes time to sell    
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· · ·

17 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2011-07-14 07:39:09 PM  
Trebuchet: let's throw some shiat.
 
2011-07-14 07:58:00 PM  
Drew's dead.
 
2011-07-14 08:25:35 PM  
Drew's not dead, just too drunk to FARK.
 
2011-07-14 08:31:46 PM  

stupid me: Drew's not dead, just too drunk to FARK.


Been there.

Might be there.

fark.

fark Murdoch's Newscorp.
 
2011-07-14 08:32:42 PM  

Indubitably: stupid me: Drew's not dead, just too drunk to FARK.

Been there.

Might be there.

fark.

fark Murdoch's Newscorp.


Look up my shiat, am I newsworthy?

;)
 
2011-07-14 08:45:24 PM  
Wow. Lot of love for the Geek tab this week.
 
2011-07-14 08:47:00 PM  
I didn't realize Columbia was offering courses in homebrewing these days.
 
2011-07-14 08:57:14 PM  

Das Kiwizoid: Wow. Lot of love for the Geek tab this week.


Actually, only supposed to be the top three, don't know how that happened.
 
2011-07-14 08:58:39 PM  
It really is sad what a huge percentage of my news and entertainment comes from FARK. But every time I turn on real news, I get depressed.
 
2011-07-14 09:01:18 PM  

Unfreakable: Das Kiwizoid: Wow. Lot of love for the Geek tab this week.

Actually, only supposed to be the top three, don't know how that happened.


Ooh, predetermined.

Suspect?

;)
 
2011-07-14 09:22:22 PM  

Indubitably: Ooh, predetermined.

Suspect?

;)


Nah, it goes like this: I sort through roughly 700-800 headlines in any given week, and pick about 30 headlines from Main and another 10 from each of the tabs, then let the admins/mods vote on their favorites. The top voted from them are the ones I select for the Headline of the Week, which means deselecting the ones that didn't get quite as many votes. Only the top 3 headlines in the subtabs are supposed to go, but somehow either I didn't deselect the low-vote ones on the geek tab or somehow it got hung up during processing. I'd wager it's my own User Error.
 
2011-07-14 09:37:26 PM  
My first Headline of the Week!

/long penis
 
2011-07-14 10:02:58 PM  
Penis.
 
2011-07-14 11:24:23 PM  
Only 13 comments. What's the point of this resume?
Also: No voting?
 
2011-07-15 10:50:02 AM  
Three are mine:

Tour de France cyclist Frank Schleck accidentally ate a bee or wasp during Sunday's time trial. Doctors say other than catching a slight buzz, he'll be fine

lame


New t-shirt built from piezoelectric film charges your cell phone by converting ambient sound to electricity. If you wear it to a Manowar show, you can power London for six hours

the odd headline that someone added their own joke to; i didn't submit it witht he Manowar joke. i don't know if i even added a joke to it.


Chloe Sevigny gets a grip on fashion, chokes up, says it sucks, she's 'not excited by contemporary fashion'', will debut her own fashion line. Now that's a mouthful

i know she's kinda homely at times but man i want to rail that ass. she has somethign that is so freaking sexy. but yeah, WHY DID SHE BLOW THAT DUDE
 
mjg
2011-07-15 12:27:44 PM  
Dang, my 'Miss Brazil' post got some traction!
 
2011-07-15 05:22:06 PM  
I'm kind of surprised to see my Taco Bell headline in there. I had a weirds sense I might get the nod this week, but I figured it'd be for the post-submission swapped-in dog-sex one.

In any case, it's an honor just to be nominated. :)
 
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