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(Telegraph)   "How to Become a Beekeeper." Well, 1. Get some bees, and 2. Keep them   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 48
    More: Obvious, beekeepers, wildflowers, gardeners, beekeeping, antibacterials, pollen, crash test dummy, jars  
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1874 clicks; posted to Geek » on 14 Jul 2011 at 6:13 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-07-14 06:15:24 PM
1. Get sugar
2. Pile sugar
3. ???
 
2011-07-14 06:16:20 PM
I read that as How to Become a Barkeeper. I was, like, Bees? In a bar? WTF?
 
2011-07-14 06:18:53 PM

Honest Bender: I read that as How to Become a Barkeeper. I was, like, Bees? In a bar? WTF?


Well, when I'm out of quarters I pay for my drinks with bees
 
2011-07-14 06:19:48 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: 1. Get sugar
2. Pile sugar
3. ???


foodcourtlunch.com

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
 
2011-07-14 06:20:17 PM
In April the apples and pears are visited before the arrival of the rape in May.

Mental note: avoid the garden in May
 
2011-07-14 06:20:39 PM
thumbnails.hulu.com

Just make sure they don't defend themselves somehow
 
2011-07-14 06:20:50 PM

FirstNationalBastard: The All-Powerful Atheismo: 1. Get sugar
2. Pile sugar
3. ???

[foodcourtlunch.com image 400x309]

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.


where'd you get the sugar for that tea??
 
2011-07-14 06:20:51 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Honest Bender: I read that as How to Become a Barkeeper. I was, like, Bees? In a bar? WTF?

Well, when I'm out of quarters I pay for my drinks with bees


In those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say?
 
2011-07-14 06:21:37 PM

FirstNationalBastard: The All-Powerful Atheismo: Honest Bender: I read that as How to Become a Barkeeper. I was, like, Bees? In a bar? WTF?

Well, when I'm out of quarters I pay for my drinks with bees

In those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say?


Yep, back in nineteen-dickety-two
 
2011-07-14 06:22:53 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: FirstNationalBastard: The All-Powerful Atheismo: Honest Bender: I read that as How to Become a Barkeeper. I was, like, Bees? In a bar? WTF?

Well, when I'm out of quarters I pay for my drinks with bees

In those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say?

Yep, back in nineteen-dickety-two


I presume that was when the Kaiser stole our word "twenty"?
 
2011-07-14 06:23:21 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: FirstNationalBastard: The All-Powerful Atheismo: Honest Bender: I read that as How to Become a Barkeeper. I was, like, Bees? In a bar? WTF?

Well, when I'm out of quarters I pay for my drinks with bees

In those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say?

Yep, back in nineteen-dickety-two


Was this before or after you tied an onion on your belt (because it was the style at the time)?
 
2011-07-14 06:59:53 PM

FirstNationalBastard: In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.


scottydoesntknow: Just make sure they don't defend themselves somehow


All things come back to Homer.

Also...

www.tvverdict.com
 
2011-07-14 07:03:40 PM
Pro tip: wasps do not make very good honey.
 
2011-07-14 07:06:08 PM

eraser8: FirstNationalBastard: In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

scottydoesntknow: Just make sure they don't defend themselves somehow

All things come back to Homer.

Also...

[www.tvverdict.com image 317x258]


also also,

30.media.tumblr.com

To the Bee-Mobile!


/5th time ive used this image this year
 
2011-07-14 07:09:48 PM

KillAllHumans: To the Bee-Mobile!


/5th time ive used this image this year


In my esteemed opinion, this image is not used nearly enough. Even in non-bee-related threads.

/where is DrMcNinja? Haven't seen him for a while.
 
2011-07-14 07:26:52 PM

KillAllHumans: To the Bee-Mobile!


You mean the Chevy?
 
2011-07-14 07:39:08 PM

Nuclear Monk: Pro tip: wasps do not make very good honey.


Well, duh. When you crush them up, their guts and limbs give a crunchy-salty flavor, which isn't what you want from honey at all.
 
2011-07-14 07:42:24 PM
i55.tinypic.com

Oh what a world, what a world.
 
2011-07-14 07:49:10 PM
www.fastanddirty.ca
BEES?
 
2011-07-14 07:58:19 PM
Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be
Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?
 
2011-07-14 08:02:22 PM
 
2011-07-14 08:11:04 PM
I prefer to give all of my bees to Neil Gaiman.
 
2011-07-14 08:25:11 PM
i653.photobucket.com

/and no nic cage yet!
 
2011-07-14 08:25:28 PM

Larry Mahnken: I'M COVERED IN BEES!


Those bees have too much freedom!
 
2011-07-14 08:28:54 PM
I can't think about this subject without remembering this. It makes me want to sing. Ride of the Valkeries. Hum if you know it.
 
2011-07-14 08:44:48 PM

Cyno01: [i653.photobucket.com image 444x366]

/and no nic cage yet!


...yet.
 
2011-07-14 08:56:37 PM

Darth_Lukecash: Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be
Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?


fark you, buddy!
 
2011-07-14 09:02:06 PM

Larry Mahnken: I'M COVERED IN BEES!


i759.photobucket.com
 
2011-07-14 09:03:14 PM

Hot Carl To Go: In April the apples and pears are visited before the arrival of the rape in May.

Mental note: avoid the garden in May


Never thought it would be the Brits to schedule rape 10 months in advance.
 
2011-07-14 09:11:56 PM
First you'll need a Stonecrafter, a Craftsdwarf workshop, and some available stone...
 
2011-07-14 09:24:42 PM

ipsofacto: Darth_Lukecash: Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be
Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?

fark you, buddy!


Well I'm a king bee
Buzzing around your hive
Well I'm a king bee, baby
Buzzing around your hive
 
2011-07-14 10:13:46 PM

DigitalCoffee: Hot Carl To Go: In April the apples and pears are visited before the arrival of the rape in May.

Mental note: avoid the garden in May

Never thought it would be the Brits to schedule rape 10 months in advance.


They even make rape rape civilized!
 
2011-07-14 10:19:01 PM
We feed them a sugar solution at the end of September so they have enough honey stores to survive the winter. If we didn't do this we would get less, or possibly no honey at all.

Then how did beekeepers get honey before cheap sugar was widely available?
 
2011-07-14 10:27:41 PM

2chris2: We feed them a sugar solution at the end of September so they have enough honey stores to survive the winter. If we didn't do this we would get less, or possibly no honey at all.

Then how did beekeepers get honey before cheap sugar was widely available?


They let the bees keep more of the honey.
/Not an apiarist.
//Talked with one once.
 
2011-07-14 10:37:37 PM
My mom raises bees so I'm getting a kick out of this thread.
 
2011-07-14 11:12:26 PM
I like my coffee like I like my women...

... covered in bees.
 
2011-07-15 12:01:16 AM
came for covered in bees, leaving satisfied

also came for not the bees, leaving disgruntled.
 
2011-07-15 12:05:03 AM
msnbcmedia4.msn.com

Crap, what was the second step again?
 
2011-07-15 12:09:37 AM
+1 to the headline. I don't know why I find it so hilarious, but kudos Subby!
 
2011-07-15 12:52:47 AM

I Like Bread: First you'll need a Stonecrafter, a Craftsdwarf workshop, and some available stone...


There are beehives in DF now? Awesome.
 
2011-07-15 02:26:01 AM
No one brought up Tommy Boy yet?

I am disappoint.

Link (new window)
 
2011-07-15 02:27:31 AM
www.beeserker.com
 
2011-07-15 08:10:43 AM
ilovebees
 
2011-07-15 09:23:37 AM
I like bees. OW! Bees are my friends. OW!
 
2011-07-15 10:03:16 AM
Sears used to sell bees.
 
2011-07-15 10:19:55 AM
3. Don't put your dick in the box
 
VYV
2011-07-15 03:15:25 PM
thanks submitster, I really needed the lulz today...

/still chuckling...
 
2011-07-16 02:23:21 AM

galactus5000: I prefer to give all of my bees to Neil Gaiman.


Heh. It's kind of funny - I have a biiig phobia of things that sting, but Neil somehow manages to make beekeeping sound awesome.
 
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