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(Wild Speculation Daily)   Mozart would have lived longer if he went out in the sun, lived in the 21st century, wasn't going insane from chlamydia   (medicalxpress.com) divider line 66
    More: Obvious, Mozart, autoimmune diseases, mid-May, performance art, vitamin D, Christian Louboutin, chronic kidney disease  
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5169 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jul 2011 at 12:50 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-07-13 09:30:19 AM
Sadly, his career ended after the famous "too many notes" cover of Rolling Stone and the lawsuit by Keith Emerson when he sprained a finger trying to play Wolfie's composition at speed. He retired to Florida and got skin cancer and died young anyway.
 
2011-07-13 09:34:19 AM
This is bad for me, I guess, since I no longer go into direct sunlight.
 
2011-07-13 09:39:19 AM
Favorite college health center STD pamphlet: "Chlamydia, it's not a flower."

Favorite out of context nonsequiter health center riposte: "Doc, if it were I'd be in full bloom."
 
2011-07-13 09:45:12 AM

ZAZ: Sadly, his career ended after the famous "too many notes" cover of Rolling Stone and the lawsuit by Keith Emerson when he sprained a finger trying to play Wolfie's composition at speed. He retired to Florida and got skin cancer and died young anyway.


Jesus, I wish I could give you the entire internet for that one.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-07-13 09:48:14 AM
Mozart, who lived in a high-latitude home in Austria, lacked exposure to the sun as the area does not provide the opportunity for sufficient exposure for six months out of the year, or the winter months. He was also known to work during the night and sleep during the day so his sun exposure was minimal.

White people are mutants specially adapted to places with little sunshine. If we go out in the winter as often as cavemen did we should be fine. It's the second part -- sleeping inside all day -- that matters more.

In other mutation news, blacks with the sickle cell mutation are specially adapted to places with lots of malaria. There's a famous moth that I ironically can't remember the name of that turned from white to black in response to industrial pollution. A group that lives somewhere for a few hundred generations becomes better adapted.
 
2011-07-13 10:07:38 AM
If he didn't have the clam he probably wouldn't have had the inspiration to write his seminal operatic masterpiece Die Schlammenflöte.
 
2011-07-13 10:26:30 AM

ZAZ: In other mutation news, blacks with the sickle cell mutation are specially adapted to places with lots of malaria. There's a famous moth that I ironically can't remember the name of that turned from white to black in response to industrial pollution. A group that lives somewhere for a few hundred generations becomes better adapted.


I remember both of these from an adaptation biology course I took years ago. Specifically, those with too many sickle cells end up with anemia and die, and those with all normal cells get malaria and die. It's the ones lucky enough to have the right mix that are immune to both.

I can't remember the moth's name either, and I think a search for "dirty moth" won't yield much.
 
2011-07-13 11:10:03 AM
Salt N' Pepamoth
 
2011-07-13 11:11:24 AM

ZAZ: There's a famous moth that I ironically can't remember the name of that turned from white to black in response to industrial pollution


This is not the actual true think. It is the pepper moth and there were always the black and the white ones and the thing that happened is the ratio of difference came about but also was just the bit overstated. However they did not turn from the white to the black. They just had more of the black ones for a period of time. I should also provide the pointing out that many entomologists have further examined this and were able to suggest that property values within the moth community did drop during this time and many of the moths complained of stolen property.
 
2011-07-13 11:12:37 AM
Also, it's syphilis that causes insanity not chlamydia. Boy I'm just a font of fascinating STD and insect knowledge ain't I. No wonder whoever sits next to me at Fark parties ends up snoring.
 
2011-07-13 12:00:35 PM
I'm pretty sure the heavy drinking would negate most of the positive effects of sun exposure.
 
2011-07-13 12:53:35 PM
He was already wacky and was a known booze hound. I doubt Chlamydia had any effect at all on him.
 
2011-07-13 12:54:05 PM
It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.
 
2011-07-13 12:55:24 PM
I heard Brahms could pack a mean bowl.
 
2011-07-13 12:55:32 PM

brap: Salt N' Pepamoth


*grin* Nice.

It's actually called the peppered moth, but I learned it as the salt and pepper moth in school as well.
 
2011-07-13 12:57:00 PM
And here I thought it was this guy who did him in...

i.imgur.com
 
2011-07-13 12:57:59 PM
Note that this is relevant to ALL Farkers, unless there's a window in your parent's basement.

/we're all doomed
 
2011-07-13 01:00:19 PM

roothog: It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.


No no, you're thinking of Bach.
 
2011-07-13 01:00:19 PM
He would have also lived longer if he didn't live in the land of poisonous spiders, taipans, and crocodiles.
 
2011-07-13 01:01:04 PM

Nurglitch: roothog: It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.

No no, you're thinking of Bach.


Ah, Bach.
 
2011-07-13 01:01:30 PM
I always thought Australians got lots of sun.
 
2011-07-13 01:01:50 PM
If he were alive today he would probably compose in A minor.
 
2011-07-13 01:03:26 PM

ZAZ: Mozart, who lived in a high-latitude home in Austria, lacked exposure to the sun as the area does not provide the opportunity for sufficient exposure for six months out of the year, or the winter months. He was also known to work during the night and sleep during the day so his sun exposure was minimal.

White people are mutants specially adapted to places with little sunshine. If we go out in the winter as often as cavemen did we should be fine. It's the second part -- sleeping inside all day -- that matters more.

In other mutation news, blacks with the sickle cell mutation are specially adapted to places with lots of malaria. There's a famous moth that I ironically can't remember the name of that turned from white to black in response to industrial pollution. A group that lives somewhere for a few hundred generations becomes better adapted.


I read the skin color thing a couple months ago after following a few links in a Fark tfa. From what I remember it's a Vitamin D thing, and a scientific paper concluded that it took about a thousand years of living around 50 degrees North latitude for our ancestors to lose their black skin. Furthermore, dark skin is an adaptation to living near the equator, since all that sunlight destroys Folic Acid, another vitamin.

/As always, I'll happily stand corrected if I got something wrong
 
2011-07-13 01:03:44 PM

I Mash Grains: If he were alive today he would probably compose in A minor.


Instad of decomposing in A major way?
 
2011-07-13 01:05:41 PM

Mad Scientist: Nurglitch: roothog: It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.

No no, you're thinking of Bach.

Ah, Bach.


His favorite fruit was a BA-NA-NA-NAA!!
 
2011-07-13 01:07:24 PM

brap: it's syphilis that causes insanity not chlamydia.


Or It must have *really* hurt when he peed.
 
2011-07-13 01:07:36 PM

Nurglitch: roothog: It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.

No no, you're thinking of Bach.


Ah yes. I still get chills when I hear Bolero. Amazing pianist.
 
2011-07-13 01:09:42 PM

phaseolus: I read the skin color thing a couple months ago after following a few links in a Fark tfa. From what I remember it's a Vitamin D thing, and a scientific paper concluded that it took about a thousand years of living around 50 degrees North latitude for our ancestors to lose their black skin. Furthermore, dark skin is an adaptation to living near the equator, since all that sunlight destroys Folic Acid, another vitamin.

/As always, I'll happily stand corrected if I got something wrong


I assume you got the origin wrong. You couldn't have gotten it from TFA. Nobody reads TFA.
 
2011-07-13 01:11:56 PM
Not to mention Mozart would have enjoyed a good poop thread, given his scatalogical interests and humor.
 
2011-07-13 01:12:32 PM
Dammit, subby! I was really hoping there was such a thing as "Wild Speculation Daily"
 
2011-07-13 01:13:48 PM

roothog: Nurglitch: roothog: It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.

No no, you're thinking of Bach.

Ah yes. I still get chills when I hear Bolero. Amazing pianist.


Except when he comes unraveled.
 
2011-07-13 01:14:54 PM

phaseolus: I read the skin color thing a couple months ago after following a few links in a Fark tfa. From what I remember it's a Vitamin D thing, and a scientific paper concluded that it took about a thousand years of living around 50 degrees North latitude for our ancestors to lose their black skin. Furthermore, dark skin is an adaptation to living near the equator, since all that sunlight destroys Folic Acid, another vitamin.

/As always, I'll happily stand corrected if I got something wrong


My mom's favorite giggle is to point out that Cain's mark was probably white skin, since man around that time was probably 100% black.

I have no idea why she finds that hilarious or even remotely factual, but I've heard it about a hundred times growing up. *shrug*
 
2011-07-13 01:16:37 PM

phoxxy: And here I thought it was this guy who did him in...

[i.imgur.com image 335x435]


In support of tfa, if you were married to

2.bp.blogspot.com

NSFW (new window)
NSFW (new window)

...would you get out of the house much?
 
2011-07-13 01:16:44 PM
I blame Chlamydia, ♪ the tatooed lady ♪
 
2011-07-13 01:16:46 PM

roothog: Nurglitch: roothog: It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.

No no, you're thinking of Bach.

Ah yes. I still get chills when I hear Bolero. Amazing pianist.


Yes, there's nothing better than a nice chilled Meyerbeer: I'm Offenbach for more.
 
2011-07-13 01:17:56 PM

phaseolus: phoxxy: And here I thought it was this guy who did him in...

[i.imgur.com image 335x435]

In support of tfa, if you were married to

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x358]

NSFW (new window)
NSFW (new window)

...would you get out of the house much?


I don't remember that scene.
 
2011-07-13 01:21:23 PM
"Medical Problems of Performing Artists"

Is there any topic to which an entire periodical journal is NOT dedicated to?
 
2011-07-13 01:37:26 PM
But... but Falco told me it was "because he lived so fast he had to die so young"! Falco wouldn't lie to me!

/actually bad translation, but whatever
 
2011-07-13 01:41:42 PM
ShadowkahnCRX "Medical Problems of Performing Artists"

Is there any topic to which an entire periodical journal is NOT dedicated to?


This is what happens when we evaluate academics on their ability to get inane articles published, rather than their ability to teach the students anything.

/Note: some research, especially in STEM fields, is valuable
//most is crap
 
2011-07-13 01:46:03 PM
It's the gypsy moth.
 
2011-07-13 01:47:56 PM
Greatest musical talent in the history of mankind.
 
2011-07-13 01:49:28 PM

LMark: This is what happens when we evaluate academics on their ability to get inane articles published, rather than their ability to teach the students anything.


As someone who has the publications in several journals with the high impact factor I must provide my agreement with this statement of you. I have had the publication of which the findings from the research of me I thought was just the funny thing and yet still there is someone who is willing to provide the fellation of this and publishing of it because they like that you did the citation of them.
 
2011-07-13 01:57:51 PM

brap: Also, it's syphilis that causes insanity not chlamydia.


Came here to say this. Additionally, the 19th century* was very fond of using mercury to "cure" it, so anyone with syphilis got a one-two punch of crazy.

____
* yes I know that Mozart didn't live in the 19th century.
 
2011-07-13 01:57:59 PM

brap: Also, it's syphilis that causes insanity not chlamydia. Boy I'm just a font of fascinating STD and insect knowledge ain't I. No wonder whoever sits next to me at Fark parties ends up snoring.


Actually, I would love to talk bugs and STDs with someone.

Now, hypothetically, if someone suffered from "Lepidoptera rectal trauma", is the best course of action to seek medical attention or let the issue work itself out?
 
2011-07-13 01:58:50 PM
Also, Schubert had syphilis--he's the famous case here. Schumann probably did, but we don't know for sure.
 
2011-07-13 02:01:35 PM

Jake Havechek: He was already wacky and was a known booze hound. I doubt Chlamydia had any effect at all on him.


This.

Mozart would have released a string of truly awful albums in our time and strung himself out on hookers and blow.
 
2011-07-13 02:03:55 PM
Is there a meme I'm unfamiliar with.... or is everyone just confusing Chlamydia with Syphilis?

/Chlamydia can kill you.
//Syphilis will make you go insane.
 
2011-07-13 02:05:17 PM

roothog: Nurglitch: roothog: It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.

No no, you're thinking of Bach.

Ah yes. I still get chills when I hear Bolero. Amazing pianist.


That's not what his wife said.
/ after seeing mine.
 
2011-07-13 02:12:01 PM

Tillmaster: I don't remember that scene.


Extended cut.
 
2011-07-13 02:12:26 PM
Mozart's a great composer, yadda-yadda-yadda, but I always think the Emperor character in the movie was actually spot on when he said there were "too many notes" in Mozart's compositions. It's like there's this awesome core of artistry, but it's been decked with so much eighth-noted gingerbread you just get tired of listening to it all.
 
2011-07-13 02:14:49 PM

phaseolus: ...would you get out of the house much?


Ahh, Elizabeth Berridge, where are you now? There should be an Amadeus Curse similar to the Diff'rent Strokes Curse. Of all the major characters I think only F. Murray Abraham survives with his career intact.
 
2011-07-13 02:20:38 PM

theorellior: Mozart's a great composer, yadda-yadda-yadda, but I always think the Emperor character in the movie was actually spot on when he said there were "too many notes" in Mozart's compositions. It's like there's this awesome core of artistry, but it's been decked with so much eighth-noted gingerbread you just get tired of listening to it all.


Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Dvorak, Shostakovich, Stravinsky, Bernstein, and every power-rock band would like to disagree with you...

Also, it was Beethoven who went deaf, not Bach... or is this some obscure Fark musicophile equivalent of the Anne Frank/Helen Keller theme?
 
2011-07-13 02:25:02 PM

Millennium: But... but Falco told me it was "because he lived so fast he had to die so young"! Falco wouldn't lie to me!


Well, Falco lived fast and died young, too.
 
2011-07-13 02:35:52 PM

dionysusaur: roothog: Nurglitch: roothog: It's amazing how a deaf man could create such beautiful music.

No no, you're thinking of Bach.

Ah yes. I still get chills when I hear Bolero. Amazing pianist.



www.freeimagehosting.net
 
2011-07-13 02:43:46 PM
Well, as a former musician with medical problems, I used to read this journal all the time. It's also valuable for health professionals who treat musicians.

(It was there that I learned that piano players have the longest potential careers of all musicians, since fewer age-related maladies interfere with piano playing than with other instruments.)
 
2011-07-13 02:43:50 PM

LazarusLong42: Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Dvorak, Shostakovich, Stravinsky, Bernstein, and every power-rock band would like to disagree with you...


And I'm fine with the composers you mentioned above, but Mozart just gets too fussy for me.
 
2011-07-13 02:52:18 PM

phaseolus: phoxxy: And here I thought it was this guy who did him in...

[i.imgur.com image 335x435]

In support of tfa, if you were married to

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x358]

NSFW (new window)
NSFW (new window)

...would you get out of the house much?


And she says

Ooooh! Rock me Amadeus!
Ooooh! Rock me Amadeus!
(new window)
 
2011-07-13 03:01:22 PM
It gives me great pause to think of how much Mozart had accomplished compared to my puny life when I realize that by the time he was my age... he'd been dead for 15 years.
 
2011-07-13 03:53:46 PM

Tillmaster: phaseolus: phoxxy: And here I thought it was this guy who did him in...

[i.imgur.com image 335x435]

In support of tfa, if you were married to

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x358]

NSFW (new window)
NSFW (new window)

...would you get out of the house much?

I don't remember that scene.


That's because it wasn't in the version released to theaters. It's in the R-rated Director's Cut. BTW-if you have Netflix, they have the Director's Cut version available for streaming.
 
2011-07-13 04:52:51 PM

theorellior: Shos


Listen to late Mozart (last three or so symphonies). His style was getting to the point where he was starting to foreshadow Beethoven.
 
2011-07-13 05:33:48 PM

theorellior: It's like there's this awesome core of artistry, but it's been decked with so much eighth-noted gingerbread you just get tired of listening to it all.


Funny...I feel that way about the Baroque.
 
2011-07-13 06:03:26 PM
Mozart was all about simplicity. That's like, the central defining characteristic of his style.
 
2011-07-13 07:49:52 PM
Mozart would have lived longer if he hadn't died.
 
2011-07-13 08:05:37 PM

squidzilla: theorellior: It's like there's this awesome core of artistry, but it's been decked with so much eighth-noted gingerbread you just get tired of listening to it all.

Funny...I feel that way about the Baroque.


If it's Baroque, perhaps you should fix it.
 
2011-07-13 09:07:56 PM
My Music History 301 paper was on Salieri's relationship with Mozart and if there was any truth at all in the Amadeus idea that murder was involved.

There wasn't.

Also, I've always said if I had a time machine the first thing I would do is travel back in time to 1760 or so with Mozart's complete catalog and republish it, not for fame or money but to make him compose new stuff.
 
2011-07-13 11:00:52 PM
FTA: With vitamin D deficiency becoming a widespread health concern today, researchers are hoping this research may act as a wakeup call for other musicians Farkers who spend most of their time indoors and do not receive sun exposure.
 
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