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(Onion AV Club)   24 songs written by white people about dancing that you can't dance to   (avclub.com) divider line 62
    More: Obvious, Roxy Music, dance floor, Happy Mondays, opening lines, Bryan Ferry, electronic dance music, drum machines, acoustic music  
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7121 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jul 2011 at 2:09 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-07-11 10:50:22 AM
Prince is white, subby? Well, I suppose you could make a case for that.

Where's "The Safety Dance, by...well, someone"? Sure there were midgets in the video and that alone made it awesome but now I have the farking song stuck in my head so fark you, article.

/the Prince soundtrack dated Batman terribly
 
2011-07-11 10:59:58 AM
This article is useless without Genesis.
 
2011-07-11 11:32:35 AM
"Last Dance" by the Cure is a bit of a glaring omission.
 
2011-07-11 11:47:18 AM
Last Dance with Mary Jane by Tom Petty?
 
2011-07-11 01:12:53 PM
Ain't no white man been able to look good dancing since Bachman Turner Overdrive broke up
 
2011-07-11 02:03:00 PM
It's arguable that Let's Dance by Bowie and Safety Dance by Men Without Hats should be on there.

/it's also entirely possible that they were and I missed them
 
2011-07-11 02:13:28 PM
AV Club is the kind of publication that makes me glad that I quit making music.
 
2011-07-11 02:15:13 PM
You can dance to Bauhaus. You just have to take a drag off your cigarette every 10 seconds,,,

southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com
 
2011-07-11 02:16:54 PM

Mugato: Prince is white, subby? Well, I suppose you could make a case for that.

Where's "The Safety Dance, by...well, someone"? Sure there were midgets in the video and that alone made it awesome but now I have the farking song stuck in my head so fark you, article.

/the Prince soundtrack dated Batman terribly


He was half white in the video.
 
2011-07-11 02:18:33 PM
^o/

\o^

\o/

/the Elaine.
 
2011-07-11 02:18:37 PM
ImaybewrongbutI'ma...Dancin' Fool

/the beat goes on
//but I'm so wrong
 
2011-07-11 02:19:29 PM

Mugato: Prince is white, subby? Well, I suppose you could make a case for that.

Where's "The Safety Dance, by...well, someone"? Sure there were midgets in the video and that alone made it awesome but now I have the farking song stuck in my head so fark you, article.

/the Prince soundtrack dated Batman terribly


get the funk out.

baaaatmaaaan.
 
2011-07-11 02:21:08 PM
I'm confused by the inclusion of the PWEI song. While I do not possess one 'get-down-and-get-funky' gene in my body (I can't dance in any shape or form other words), I can see that song being quite easy for even some sober people to get into and down to.

/shrugs.
 
2011-07-11 02:22:56 PM
Sarcastica75

^o/

\o^

\o/

/the Elaine


I larfed!
 
2011-07-11 02:24:53 PM
...and another thing.

The Safety Dance does have a danceable beat, even if it isn't a great song.

So, you can dance if you want to.

Mugato: /the Prince soundtrack dated Batman terribly


Prince dated everything badly in those days.
 
2011-07-11 02:26:52 PM
images.wax.fm
 
2011-07-11 02:27:43 PM

timujin: It's arguable that Let's Dance by Bowie ... should be on there.


I can think of several strippers I saw in the 1990s who would disagree with that.

/actually, it has a pretty good rhythm line and nice percussion backing
 
2011-07-11 02:29:41 PM
Is it ironic that you actually can dance to this Motorhead song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO3UTCvM-hw

/yes, the 'Hessian parking lot stumble' is a dance
 
2011-07-11 02:32:53 PM
No Dancearama by Sigue Sigue Sputnik?
 
2011-07-11 02:34:13 PM

Surool: So, you can dance if you want to.

You can leave your friends behind.
 
2011-07-11 02:36:30 PM

Sarcastica75: Mugato: Prince is white, subby? Well, I suppose you could make a case for that.

Where's "The Safety Dance, by...well, someone"? Sure there were midgets in the video and that alone made it awesome but now I have the farking song stuck in my head so fark you, article.

/the Prince soundtrack dated Batman terribly

get the funk out.

baaaatmaaaan.


He's right though... Sounds cheeeeesy 80s.
 
2011-07-11 02:36:47 PM
"can't dance to"? (new window)
 
2011-07-11 02:38:58 PM

Mugato: Prince is white, subby? Well, I suppose you could make a case for that.

Where's "The Safety Dance, by...well, someone"? Sure there were midgets in the video and that alone made it awesome but now I have the farking song stuck in my head so fark you, article.

/the Prince soundtrack dated Batman terribly


Watch that movie again. Batman dated Batman terribly.
 
2011-07-11 02:43:28 PM
You can probably dance to "Dancing Girls" if you're on coke...

/And they dance for him inside his head
 
2011-07-11 02:49:10 PM
Never heard of most of these. The first to pop into my head was "Dance With Me", by Orleans.

///yeah, I'm old....

////dance yourself offa my lawn!
 
2011-07-11 02:49:42 PM
members.multimania.nl

If it's got hair, I can ride it. If it's got a beat, I can dance to it.
 
2011-07-11 02:50:33 PM
No 'Shot Dead Dancing' by 'The Virgin Beasts?'
 
2011-07-11 02:57:11 PM

hkeydyndata: Sarcastica75

^o/

\o^

\o/

/the Elaine

I larfed!


:D

rocky_howard: Sarcastica75: Mugato: Prince is white, subby? Well, I suppose you could make a case for that.

Where's "The Safety Dance, by...well, someone"? Sure there were midgets in the video and that alone made it awesome but now I have the farking song stuck in my head so fark you, article.

/the Prince soundtrack dated Batman terribly

get the funk out.

baaaatmaaaan.

He's right though... Sounds cheeeeesy 80s.


this thread needs an enema!

*boogies*
 
2011-07-11 02:58:27 PM
have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
 
2011-07-11 03:06:25 PM

Sarcastica75: hkeydyndata: Sarcastica75

^o/

\o^

\o/

/the Elaine

I larfed!

:D

rocky_howard: Sarcastica75: Mugato: Prince is white, subby? Well, I suppose you could make a case for that.

Where's "The Safety Dance, by...well, someone"? Sure there were midgets in the video and that alone made it awesome but now I have the farking song stuck in my head so fark you, article.

/the Prince soundtrack dated Batman terribly

get the funk out.

baaaatmaaaan.

He's right though... Sounds cheeeeesy 80s.

this thread needs an enema!

*boogies*


Your ass needs an enema. A meat cum-filled enema. Call me if you want ;D
 
2011-07-11 03:09:43 PM

Surool: Prince dated everything badly in those days.


www.popcrunch.com

Agrees?

Also, it may be just because I'm an 80s club kid, but did anyone else go down this list thinking "danced to that one, danced to that one, damned sure danced to that one...?"
 
2011-07-11 03:09:55 PM
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump.
 
2011-07-11 03:12:48 PM

SirAdrianDangerous: You can dance to Bauhaus. You just have to take a drag off your cigarette every 10 seconds,,,


And.. then when you are not dragging on it, you need to wave it around...so it looks like some kind of light show... until you accidently poke it into someone's eye..
 
2011-07-11 03:13:13 PM
and I dont feel like dancing....

/scissor sister
 
2011-07-11 03:36:18 PM
Should have known better than to click on an AV Club link. Sure enough, the list was sprinkled with obscure hipster bands just so they can demonstrate their indie cred.
 
2011-07-11 03:41:24 PM
24 inventions or discoveries by white people that more than make up for those 24 songs;

radio, television, transistor, semiconductor, submarine, Atlas rocket, Moon rover, zipper, automobile, CD player, DNA mapping, Leyden jar, microscope, calculus, digital watches, margarine, polio vaccine, penicilin, LSD, Zippo lighters, electric light, Bakelite, microwave oven.
 
2011-07-11 03:47:14 PM

radioman_: 24 inventions or discoveries by white people that more than make up for those 24 songs;

radio, television, transistor, semiconductor, submarine, Atlas rocket, Moon rover, zipper, automobile, CD player, DNA mapping, Leyden jar, microscope, calculus, digital watches, margarine, polio vaccine, penicilin, LSD, Zippo lighters, electric light, Bakelite, microwave oven.


Truly, we have been blessed by the whites' benificence. ALL HAIL WHITEY!

/p.s.: you could invent a machine that gives me a blowjob while doing my taxes and it still wouldn't make up for having to listen to gasbag assbag Lou Reed.
 
2011-07-11 03:52:46 PM

Uzzah: ALL HAIL WHITEY!

media.nj.com

 
2011-07-11 03:59:12 PM

PaisleyHunter: and I dont feel like dancing....

/scissor sister


Ironically, you *can* dance to that one.

/ ironically?
 
2011-07-11 04:06:25 PM
Man I love the feeling
When I go out
Dancing with the women at the bar
Man I love the feeling
When I go out
I always know my womans close somewhere
 
2011-07-11 04:11:54 PM
c438342.r42.cf2.rackcdn.com

If a man is considered guilty for liking Prince's Batman soundtrack then put him in the electric chair for all his future crimes.

/GUILT-AYYY!!!
//for all my future crimes
 
2011-07-11 04:18:58 PM
Dear white people,

A song does not have to be choreographed by the song writer for you to dance to it.
If you like the song, dance to it, no one really cares how you look while you are doing it, if you are having fun
 
2011-07-11 04:27:45 PM

Persnickety: obscure


Only two of the bands on the list qualify as even somewhat obscure. The rest are so mainstream ,well, they're mainstream.

As for omissions, Van Halen's Dance the Night Away
 
2011-07-11 04:31:51 PM

SirAdrianDangerous: You can dance to Bauhaus. You just have to take a drag off your cigarette every 10 seconds,,,

[southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com image 480x360]


I saw peter murphy live recently, so I'm getting a kick

/ people were dancing, it was actually one of the best concerts I've ever attended.
// it was a non-smoking venue though
/// he busted out some bauhaus
/V funniest thing, some girl threw a note on the stage. he picked it up and read, "New Orleans fans aren't creepy... I'll be waiting for you under your bus" he laughed and said he was too old.
 
2011-07-11 04:58:24 PM

pute kisses like a man: I saw peter murphy live recently, so I'm getting a kick


Annd to tie the thread together, here's Peter Murphy with Trent Reznor playing Iggy Pop's Night Clubbing (new window)
 
2011-07-11 05:53:52 PM

WhyteRaven74: Persnickety: obscure

Only two of the bands on the list qualify as even somewhat obscure. The rest are so mainstream ,well, they're mainstream.



img560.imageshack.us
 
2011-07-11 05:58:32 PM
Where's Abba's Dancing Queen?
 
2011-07-11 06:10:55 PM

MasterThief: This article is useless without Genesis.


Trick of the Tail, side 1, track 1.
 
2011-07-11 06:51:48 PM
How about The Toxic Waltz (pops)?
 
2011-07-11 07:14:06 PM

Rapmaster2000: Watch that movie again. Batman dated Batman terribly.


Actually, I thought that the Tim Batman films were pretty damned good and a lot more interesting than the Nolan ones, the Joker character aside.
 
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