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(Some Guy)   Health experts say romance novels encourage women to have unsafe sex with bare chested Fabio look-alikes in Irish castles   (heraldsun.com.au) divider line 88
    More: Silly, unsafe sex, romance novels, medical journals, castles in Ireland, orgasms, mental healths  
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3369 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jul 2011 at 11:25 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-07-08 02:50:42 AM
 
2011-07-08 03:35:25 AM
I was thinking more of this (new window).
 
2011-07-08 09:54:58 AM
worldoflongmire.com

One of the most rewarding GIS in awhile. I'll leave some for the rest of ya...
 
2011-07-08 10:27:25 AM
I am suddenly so glad that I grew my hair out. Now to buy a castle.
 
2011-07-08 10:55:58 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-07-08 10:59:06 AM
ultimately seal their union with a kiss or a vague hint of sex.

Vague? No. They want the penis. The penis and nothing else.

images.wikia.com
 
2011-07-08 11:26:55 AM
Soft core porn for fat chicks
 
2011-07-08 11:27:59 AM
"Sometimes the kindest and wisest thing we can do for our clients is to encourage them to put down the books stop surfing Fark - and pick up reality."

Wait, does Fark encourage women to have unsafe sex with bare-chested trolls in Irish basements?
 
2011-07-08 11:28:10 AM
Just when I thought that the comments in the local paper were the dumbest things I would read today...
 
2011-07-08 11:29:48 AM

Bathia_Mapes: How did I end up on the cover of this romance novel?


Now that's funny.. one of those deep chuckles.
 
2011-07-08 11:34:52 AM
I didn't even realize women were aroused by the sex part, if it wasn't preceded by 50 pages of snuggling, sweet talking, yardwork and dishes.
 
2011-07-08 11:34:58 AM
They want to grip your turgid member with the heated inner lips of their womanhood.
 
2011-07-08 11:36:51 AM
Next thing, you're going to tell me that reading a fantasy book is going to make me think that I can cast a fireball to save my ass the next time a dragon tries to eat me.
 
2011-07-08 11:37:05 AM

Jake Havechek: They want to grip your turgid member with the heated inner lips of their womanhood.


And we're done here...
 
2011-07-08 11:38:15 AM

meanmutton: Next thing, you're going to tell me that reading a fantasy book is going to make me think that I can cast a fireball to save my ass the next time a dragon tries to eat me.


Dragons are pretty resistant to magic. Red dragons are also immune to fire.
 
2011-07-08 11:38:21 AM
I am hoping this is true when I go down to Ft Lauderdale this week. . .Sadly I will prolly just hook up with older chicks who smoke to much with dye jobs, leathery skin, and faded tramps stamps.

/I'm ok with that
 
2011-07-08 11:38:32 AM
Given that the readers are ultra-repressed middle-aged broads, they could use a little encouragement. Actually these books are probably the "safe" outlet for their urges, well the books and the "battery-operated massager" in their nightstands.
 
2011-07-08 11:39:47 AM

cgraves67: Given that the readers are ultra-repressed middle-aged broads, they could use a little encouragement. Actually these books are probably the "safe" outlet for their urges, well the books and the "battery-operated massager" in their nightstands.


It's not a real massager if you don't have to connect it to the power mains.
 
2011-07-08 11:40:44 AM

BurnShrike: meanmutton: Next thing, you're going to tell me that reading a fantasy book is going to make me think that I can cast a fireball to save my ass the next time a dragon tries to eat me.

Dragons are pretty resistant to magic. Red dragons are also immune to fire.


GOD DAMMIT. I knew I should have paid closer attention.
 
2011-07-08 11:41:45 AM
As an alternative, check out the fine line up of Fark Romance Novels (new window).
 
2011-07-08 11:42:52 AM

BurnShrike: cgraves67: Given that the readers are ultra-repressed middle-aged broads, they could use a little encouragement. Actually these books are probably the "safe" outlet for their urges, well the books and the "battery-operated massager" in their nightstands.

It's not a real massager if you don't have to connect it to the power mains.


That's VibratorZilla. Put 220 on the money, honey!
 
2011-07-08 11:44:23 AM
The last time I noticed romance novels, they were all about babies. One was entitled, "Falling For a Father of Five". They were all that way. Just baby glurge. fark that.
 
2011-07-08 11:44:36 AM
That article was beyond stupid. Nearly every sex scene I've read in the last five years has included condom use or at least healthy discussion thereof - even teh ghey sex. The few that didn't did have Oh Shiat moments that were part of the plot.

"If readers start to believe the story that romantic fiction offers, then they store up trouble for themselves," says British author and relationship counsellor Susan Quilliam.

"Sometimes the kindest and wisest thing we can do for our clients is to encourage them to put down the books - and pick up reality."


IOW: Book based fantasy: She will come three times before he even gets his pants off

Sad reality, according to the author of TFA: He doesn't give a shiat whether you come or not, so don't expect to. Any "relationship" you may have will be soul-crushingly dull, and contain only infrequent, lackluster sex. You'd better invest in some batteries and learn how to please yourself, honey, because he sure won't.

British author and relationship counsellor Susan Quilliam needs to go have herself some steamy, hot monkeysex. And stop insulting women everywhere by insinuating that we are incapable of understanding the definition of "fantasy".
 
2011-07-08 11:46:01 AM
My grandma had a butt ton of these in her house, and I used to read them. I can't speak for the unsafe sex part, but they do encourage high levels of disappointment when your "first" or any encounter isn't as pretty and unselfish as those stupid emprah-forsaken books.
 
2011-07-08 11:46:23 AM
Only 11.5% of these stories mention condom use.

That's approximately 11.5% more than I would have guessed.

Lark's fingers tip-toed down Zane's bare chest and felt the strain of his belt holding his ferocious beast behind the denim wall. Her mouth pressed up against his neck and she tasted the musky lobes of his ear. "Do you have protection?" she asked in a breathless sigh.
Zane's muscles rippled as he pushed off of her and stumbled to the nightstand. Lark felt a warmth in her belly rise up in anticipation of the ecstasy she was soon to be overcome with. Zane opened and closed each drawer on his dresser. "Goddamnit" he muttered as he tried to find the light switch. His mighty hands clenched and he let out a terrible roar as his toe struck the bedframe. The bed trembled and Lark, lost in the anticipation of pleasure quivered violently on the satin sheets.

The bed sighed as he heaved himself back onto the bed and pushed his body close to hers. "Baby, you know I'm clean. And I'll pull out. I promise" he muttered gruffly. "Yes! Yes!" she cried, "I've never wanted anything more than I want you now, Zane!"
 
2011-07-08 11:47:46 AM

TimonC346: I didn't even realize women were aroused by the sex part, if it wasn't preceded by 50 pages of snuggling, sweet talking, yardwork and dishes.


See, women aren't aroused by sex. They view sex and relationships like Disney movies and the sexual relations that happens in slow motion and you can't see shiat but skin and the possible nipple that turns out to be someone's elbow.

/The reality is the MacGruber sex scene.
//Also the one with his dead wife's ghost.
 
2011-07-08 11:47:46 AM
I guess that writer hasn't heard of porn. Some of us women manage to watch that and still be happy with our mates...amazing!
 
2011-07-08 11:49:39 AM
Damn it I hate articles like this. ROMANCE NOVELS ARE PORN FOR WOMEN! Just as guys don't want to see "Safe Porn" women don't want to read about safe sex! It has nothing to do with whether or not they participate in safe sex in real life, but keep it the hell out of my romance novels! So what most romance novels end with a happy couple? IT IS A FANTASY! I highly doubt most women read these novels expecting guys in real life to act that way. If they do, I'm sure they would be just as brainwashed by movies and television.
 
2011-07-08 11:51:47 AM
Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately?
I've got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley.
But now they're trying to take it all
away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand
we fight for freedom of the press.
In other words,

Smut! (I love it)
Ah, the adventures of a slut.
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut,
I don't know what
Compares with smut.

Hip hip hooray!
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court!
Don't let them take it away!

-- Tom Lehrer
 
2011-07-08 11:51:58 AM

Nacc: ... high levels of disappointment when your "first" or any encounter isn't as pretty and unselfish ....


You said you weren't going to tell people about that!
 
2011-07-08 11:53:30 AM
songspeak.com
 
2011-07-08 11:54:24 AM

hailin: Damn it I hate articles like this. ROMANCE NOVELS ARE PORN FOR WOMEN!


So very much THIS!!!! I don't want to see porn pics or vids. Nothing wrong with them (ADULT CONSENTING) just not my thing. Romance novels fill that need for me. No, they're not all I read, any more than porn films are the only media viewed by the majority of those who like them. If you don't like them, don't read them. But stay the fark out of my fantasy life.
 
2011-07-08 11:55:13 AM

namegoeshere: But stay the fark out of my fantasy life.


I can't even make one cameo?
 
2011-07-08 11:56:44 AM

BurnShrike: namegoeshere: But stay the fark out of my fantasy life.

I can't even make one cameo?


[reads login] Well, I do like hawt firefighters...
 
2011-07-08 11:57:21 AM

namegoeshere: BurnShrike: namegoeshere: But stay the fark out of my fantasy life.

I can't even make one cameo?

[reads login] Well, I do like hawt firefighters...


Good. Then don't click on my profile.
 
2011-07-08 11:59:33 AM

bighairyguy: As an alternative, check out the fine line up of Fark Romance Novels (new window).


oh the lulz
 
2011-07-08 12:00:06 PM
i guess Brits don't have 24 different magazine titles at the grocery check-out that are designed to turn females into lonely self-loathing entitled princesses unable to meet a fellow without making a mental check list of all they'll have to do to make him acceptable in their cluttered minds.
 
2011-07-08 12:01:13 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com



Marge Does that earring mean you're a pirate?
Fabio: Kinda.

 
2011-07-08 12:09:55 PM

namegoeshere: hailin: Damn it I hate articles like this. ROMANCE NOVELS ARE PORN FOR WOMEN!

So very much THIS!!!! I don't want to see porn pics or vids. Nothing wrong with them (ADULT CONSENTING) just not my thing. Romance novels fill that need for me. No, they're not all I read, any more than porn films are the only media viewed by the majority of those who like them. If you don't like them, don't read them. But stay the fark out of my fantasy life.


Sorry, but it's for your own good. You see, the article is science, and since it's on the internet, it's true. It shows that women can't distinguish between what they're reading and real life. You have to be protected from yourself.

WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE WOMEN?
 
2011-07-08 12:09:57 PM
Porn is porn for women. Some of us, anyway.
 
2011-07-08 12:12:03 PM
I'm confused. You mean people who have problems distinguishing fantasy from reality may not be mentally healthy?
 
2011-07-08 12:14:11 PM
Even Janis Ian worships at his altar!

\hot buttery slabs of Fabio
 
2011-07-08 12:14:17 PM

palelizard: I'm confused. You mean people who have problems distinguishing fantasy from reality may not be mentally healthy?


Sounds like a successful deception roll from a level 35 goblin diplomat wearing the earring of venomous speech.
 
2011-07-08 12:14:26 PM
My romance novel comes out in early August so I'm getting a kick out of this.

/yes, protection gets used
//Any fark lesbians out there willing to give me opinions on what you'd want out of a F/F romance novel?
 
2011-07-08 12:14:36 PM

BurnShrike: "Sometimes the kindest and wisest thing we can do for our clients is to encourage them to put down the books stop surfing Fark - and pick up reality."

Wait, does Fark encourage women to have unsafe sex with bare-chested trolls in Irish basements?


No, but it does encourage thoroughly average-looking women to think they're super-hot.
 
2011-07-08 12:20:45 PM

Ringshadow: My romance novel comes out in early August so I'm getting a kick out of this.


ROMANCE IS COMING OUT

\sorry
 
2011-07-08 12:21:53 PM

bighairyguy: As an alternative, check out the fine line up of Fark Romance Novels (new window).


Damn, grampy killed it in that one.
 
2011-07-08 12:24:59 PM

GypsyJoker: Ringshadow: My romance novel comes out in early August so I'm getting a kick out of this.

ROMANCE IS COMING OUT

\sorry


No apology needed. The main character of the book finds that hilarious.

/yes I know his opinion on things
 
2011-07-08 12:32:33 PM
The women I see buying those books at the store are fat and have Little Debbie cakes in their shopping carts.
 
2011-07-08 12:43:48 PM
The fundamental difference between men and women is this:

When men see a movie like, for instance, Die Hard or Irn Man, etc, they realize that these are works of fiction, intended as entertainment, and that their lives will never even remotely resemble those of the films' characters.

On the other hand, when women watch "rom-coms" and/or read romance novels they actually believe that their lives are supposed to be like that and they become depressed/despondent/angry/fat when they're not, said anger most often directed at the men in their lives (if they have them.)

It's called "make believe" for a reason, sweetheart.
 
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