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(Denver Post)   Teen attempts to break down fireworks by putting them in coffee grinder. What could possibly go wrong?   (denverpost.com) divider line 78
    More: Dumbass, fireworks, Durango  
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10162 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jul 2011 at 9:28 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-07-08 12:08:29 AM
"Trouble's a-brewin'."
lessimpsons51.vip-blog.com
 
2011-07-08 12:14:46 AM
Darwin weeps

/but I'm pretty sure he'll get another chance at this idiot
 
2011-07-08 12:34:46 AM
According to the Fire Marshall:

"Friction from the electric grinder could have ignited the mixture."
www.moonbattery.com
 
2011-07-08 02:46:38 AM
An incident of about this severity here in Australia would render the item in question illegal. always does.
 
2011-07-08 09:32:12 AM
www.2dayblog.com
 
2011-07-08 09:33:11 AM
Somewhere, Charles Darwin has got to be laughing his ass off, saying, "SEE????"
 
2011-07-08 09:33:19 AM
I guess his plans....

*sunglasses*

...really ground to a halt.
 
2011-07-08 09:34:04 AM
That could've worked if the grinder could have been slowed down to a significant degree.

/I wonder if these people have ever heard of a "mortar and pestle"
 
2011-07-08 09:34:10 AM
Does not blend.
 
2011-07-08 09:34:31 AM
Sounds like that kid was attempting to make bigger, more powerful fireworks. Seems to me he was fairly successful.
 
2011-07-08 09:35:54 AM
"We've secretly replaced the gourmet coffee this restaurant usually serves with fireworks crystals. Let's watch as our hidden camera..."
 
2011-07-08 09:36:58 AM
Better outlaw coffee grinders. They can be used by terrorists to make bombs.
 
2011-07-08 09:38:28 AM

BurnShrike:


(will it blend? guy)

You win the thread.

/Apparently, it DOES blend
//... The fireworks... the grinder... the guy's hands...
 
2011-07-08 09:40:20 AM
MattyBlast: "We've secretly replaced the gourmet coffee this restaurant usually serves with fireworks crystals. Let's watch as our hidden camera..."

Why...you...SONOFABIATCH!!!
 
2011-07-08 09:40:44 AM
He was 19 years old and didn't realize this was a bad idea? What a dumbass.
 
2011-07-08 09:45:07 AM

ajgeek: /I wonder if these people have ever heard of a "mortar and pestle"


Don't forget the calcinator, retort, and alembic, and not the crappy apprentice ones
 
2011-07-08 09:48:11 AM

angry_scientist: ajgeek: /I wonder if these people have ever heard of a "mortar and pestle"

Don't forget the calcinator, retort, and alembic, and not the crappy apprentice ones


Why yes, I happen to have a few hundred of them stuffed into this desk drawer. They.. um.. just appeared in my pockets.
 
2011-07-08 09:48:49 AM
yeah everyone knows you dont blend you fireworks, at least till you have made sure there really really dry by putting them into the micro wave for a few mintues first. or even the oven. but not a blender.

oh and the australian comment above... firework have been banned in AU for ages now...
 
2011-07-08 09:51:35 AM
Everybody knows you're supposed to soften them up with paint remover in a pressure cooker first.
 
2011-07-08 09:53:31 AM
I bought some fireworks at Costco for Canada Day. Given the size of some of them, I can't imagine wanting anything bigger. Or wanting to be around when it detonates.
 
2011-07-08 09:54:36 AM

Flakeloaf: angry_scientist: ajgeek: /I wonder if these people have ever heard of a "mortar and pestle"

Don't forget the calcinator, retort, and alembic, and not the crappy apprentice ones

Why yes, I happen to have a few hundred of them stuffed into this desk drawer. They.. um.. just appeared in my pockets.


..... want...

I was actually pretty unimpressed with my husband's mortar and pestle (not a euphenism). I think the surfaces of both are actually too smooth. Either that or our predecessors had stronger arms and a fark of a lot more free time than I do.
 
2011-07-08 09:55:24 AM
Too bad natural selection did not work in this case.
 
2011-07-08 09:56:16 AM
I suppose you could say his efforts didn't amount to a hill o' beans.

/*ducks flying coffee mugs*
 
2011-07-08 09:58:10 AM

angry_scientist: ajgeek: /I wonder if these people have ever heard of a "mortar and pestle"

Don't forget the calcinator, retort, and alembic, and not the crappy apprentice ones



I like you.
 
2011-07-08 09:58:26 AM
He says the teen had read online about how larger fireworks could be made from smaller ones.

And now we all have.
 
2011-07-08 10:00:17 AM
The Durango paper had such extra pertinent information. Keywords: trailer park, shirtless.
 
2011-07-08 10:04:33 AM
"...the teen had read online about how larger fireworks could be made from smaller ones."

t2.gstatic.com
 
2011-07-08 10:08:19 AM
Exploded? I doubt there was any real expansive pressure and I doubt the blender was even broken by the "blast". Probably more like a fireball. There was no mention of shrapnel or other damage besides a burn.


/if explosives were only that simple
 
2011-07-08 10:09:17 AM
iam.ariellalisan.com
 
2011-07-08 10:10:16 AM
The blast shook the house of a fire inspector who lives about a quarter-mile away.

This amused me for some reason.
 
2011-07-08 10:10:52 AM

MattyBlast: "We've secretly replaced the gourmet coffee this restaurant usually serves with fireworks crystals. Let's watch as our hidden camera..."


LOL......nice! Would laugh again :-)
 
2011-07-08 10:11:11 AM
Oh yea, and don't be such a lazy bastard. Use a razor, take your time and separate the various types of materials.

Wasn't he even curious as to how each firework is constructed? No wonder he failed. No intellectual curiosity equals no intellect.
 
2011-07-08 10:16:29 AM

Rich Cream: Oh yea, and don't be such a lazy bastard. Use a razor, take your time and separate the various types of materials.

Wasn't he even curious as to how each firework is constructed? No wonder he failed. No intellectual curiosity equals no intellect.


You sound fun, in a stand-behind-the-Lexan sort of way. :)
 
2011-07-08 10:17:40 AM

Rich Cream: Exploded? I doubt there was any real expansive pressure and I doubt the blender was even broken by the "blast". Probably more like a fireball. There was no mention of shrapnel or other damage besides a burn.


/if explosives were only that simple


Reading TFA would have been simple - you might have stumbled upon this bit of info: "The blast shook the house of a fire inspector who lives about a quarter-mile away."
 
2011-07-08 10:18:22 AM
www.venfl.com
 
2011-07-08 10:22:43 AM
Swing and a miss for Dawin on this one.

"The blast shook the house of a fire inspector who lives about a quarter-mile away." - Ok I call farking bullshiat on this part. That coffee grinder would have to be HUGE and filled to the brim to make that kind of explosion. It would have been a homerun for Darwin instead of a whiff.

Dammit Darwin.....
 
2011-07-08 10:27:23 AM

Geeves00: Swing and a miss for Dawin on this one.

"The blast shook the house of a fire inspector who lives about a quarter-mile away." - Ok I call farking bullshiat on this part. That coffee grinder would have to be HUGE and filled to the brim to make that kind of explosion. It would have been a homerun for Darwin instead of a whiff.

Dammit Darwin.....


If by "shook" they meant "could be heard at" then it works. Gunshots can be heard quite a distance away.

But "shook" sounds more dramatic, ya know.
 
2011-07-08 10:29:01 AM

namegoeshere: Geeves00: Swing and a miss for Dawin on this one.

"The blast shook the house of a fire inspector who lives about a quarter-mile away." - Ok I call farking bullshiat on this part. That coffee grinder would have to be HUGE and filled to the brim to make that kind of explosion. It would have been a homerun for Darwin instead of a whiff.

Dammit Darwin.....

If by "shook" they meant "could be heard at" then it works. Gunshots can be heard quite a distance away.

But "shook" sounds more dramatic, ya know.


Agreed.
 
2011-07-08 10:30:19 AM
After this year I HATE fireworks. A couple weekends ago we were camping and fire danger was "low" so some nimrods brought some fireworks. They through the "little" fountain ones in the fire to see what would happen and they just exploded, setting a couple nylon chairs on fire (I would have stopped them, but I was off finding firewood). Then they lit a whole bunch of big ones that kept exploding in the trees. Thankfully nothing caught fire, but I was pissed to say the least.

Then on 4th of July the family had the 12-year-old nephew light the fireworks (which he is a responsible kid and mom didn't care, so whatever). One box fell over and nearly started the boat on fire. One of the fountains exploded instead of sending showers of sparks up which luckily the nephew was far away from. Then one of the artillery shell blew up in the tube, again nearly starting the boat on fire and injuring the nephew. They were lighting them at the end of the dock and should have moved the boats. Plus with them failing like they were we just packed it up early.

My conclusion is fireworks and being crappily produced these days and people are too stupid to use them properly. I think I've had maybe one firework malfunction before this year where three have. From now on I'm just going to lock myself inside the house or watch fireworks put on by the professionals. My friends and family are too stupid.
 
2011-07-08 10:33:08 AM

Geeves00: Swing and a miss for Dawin on this one.

"The blast shook the house of a fire inspector who lives about a quarter-mile away." - Ok I call farking bullshiat on this part. That coffee grinder would have to be HUGE and filled to the brim to make that kind of explosion. It would have been a homerun for Darwin instead of a whiff.

Dammit Darwin.....


Technically, it wasn't a whiff. It was just a foul ball, maybe a bunt.
 
2011-07-08 10:34:42 AM

jso2897:
Reading TFA would have been simple - you might have stumbled upon this bit of info: "The blast shook the house of a fire inspector who lives about a quarter-mile away."


READ TFA? Seriously? I'm just here to espouse my beliefs unto others.


/a loud noise does not equal damage....
 
2011-07-08 10:37:53 AM

Aidan: Rich Cream: Oh yea, and don't be such a lazy bastard. Use a razor, take your time and separate the various types of materials.

Wasn't he even curious as to how each firework is constructed? No wonder he failed. No intellectual curiosity equals no intellect.

You sound fun, in a stand-behind-the-Lexan sort of way. :)



That's how I know there is no explosion without containment. Put a bunch of powder in a glass jar, seal it and add a fuse and all you get is a "pop" and a bunch of flames.
 
2011-07-08 10:40:24 AM

cracKness: "...the teen had read online about how larger fireworks could be made from smaller ones."

Trollface


kid needs to stick with chlorine crystals until he gets more experience with the internet
 
2011-07-08 10:40:54 AM

Rich Cream: Aidan: Rich Cream:
Wasn't he even curious as to how each firework is constructed? No wonder he failed. No intellectual curiosity equals no intellect.

You sound fun, in a stand-behind-the-Lexan sort of way. :)

That's how I know there is no explosion without containment. Put a bunch of powder in a glass jar, seal it and add a fuse and all you get is a "pop" and a bunch of flames.


I hear ya. I just like folks who are, as you said, intellectually curious. :)
 
2011-07-08 11:00:10 AM

hillary: [www.venfl.com image 200x276]


Ha! Haven't seen that one before. I likey.

/*chortles*
 
2011-07-08 11:01:02 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk 2011-07-08 12:14:46 AM Darwin weeps /but I'm pretty sure he'll get another chance at this idiot
=================================================================

I seriously want to know what's going through his mind when he's doing this. Someone this dumb, I'm surprised he's lived 19 years.

But yeah, I suspect Darwin will get him next time.
 
2011-07-08 11:01:17 AM

hailin: After this year I HATE fireworks. A couple weekends ago we were camping and fire danger was "low" so some nimrods brought some fireworks. They through the "little" fountain ones in the fire to see what would happen and they just exploded, setting a couple nylon chairs on fire (I would have stopped them, but I was off finding firewood). Then they lit a whole bunch of big ones that kept exploding in the trees. Thankfully nothing caught fire, but I was pissed to say the least.

Then on 4th of July the family had the 12-year-old nephew light the fireworks (which he is a responsible kid and mom didn't care, so whatever). One box fell over and nearly started the boat on fire. One of the fountains exploded instead of sending showers of sparks up which luckily the nephew was far away from. Then one of the artillery shell blew up in the tube, again nearly starting the boat on fire and injuring the nephew. They were lighting them at the end of the dock and should have moved the boats. Plus with them failing like they were we just packed it up early.

My conclusion is fireworks and being crappily produced these days and people are too stupid to use them properly. I think I've had maybe one firework malfunction before this year where three have. From now on I'm just going to lock myself inside the house or watch fireworks put on by the professionals. My friends and family are too stupid.


The same thing happened to us. We had several misfires, one of which set off some other fireworks in a chain reaction. We're lucky nobody was hurt--everyone who wasn't setting off the fireworks was on the other side of the road. These were people who have been setting off fireworks safely for 20-30 years.
 
2011-07-08 11:03:06 AM
From TFA: " ... shook the house ... "

Flash powder does have a fast propogation rate and displaces a lot of air, but this is BS. I can believe the blast shook the windows, but an explosion powerful enough to shake a house down the street would have flattened the house at the blast site.

/Friend is a semi-professional pyro tech near Ft. Collins
//Getting a kick, etc
 
2011-07-08 11:03:19 AM
This must have happened around eight o'clock.

/Baaa-ZING!
 
2011-07-08 11:04:19 AM
Oh those internets at it again.
 
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