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(io9)   Patton Oswalt's rejected pitches for the Goddamned Batman comics   (io9.com) divider line 19
    More: Amusing, Batman, Batman comics, Cyriaque Lamar, maggots, Arkham Asylum, Gotham, Justice League  
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5108 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Jul 2011 at 10:19 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-07-05 10:29:43 AM
The WW2 one actually sounded pretty cool.
 
2011-07-05 10:45:31 AM
They BOTH sounded bad ass. I haven't bought a batman comic in years but I would for these.
 
2011-07-05 10:49:10 AM
I read that WW2 one, when it was a movie and called 'The Dirty Dozen.'
 
2011-07-05 10:53:24 AM
INeedAName: I read that WW2 one, when it was a movie and called 'The Dirty Dozen.'

And it would have been more awesomer in the Batman/DC universe. Especially if Fraser Irving did the art.

/splooge
 
2011-07-05 11:12:32 AM
toobsok: INeedAName: I read that WW2 one, when it was a movie and called 'The Dirty Dozen.'

And it would have been more awesomer in the Batman/DC universe. Especially if Fraser Irving did the art.

/splooge


The Goddamn Bronson will always be better than the Goddamn Batman.
 
2011-07-05 11:16:55 AM
Weigard: toobsok: INeedAName: I read that WW2 one, when it was a movie and called 'The Dirty Dozen.'

And it would have been more awesomer in the Batman/DC universe. Especially if Fraser Irving did the art.

/splooge

The Goddamn Bronson will always be better than the Goddamn Batman.


You're blinded by the moustache.

/this ain't ova
 
2011-07-05 12:28:05 PM
Weigard: toobsok: INeedAName: I read that WW2 one, when it was a movie and called 'The Dirty Dozen.'

And it would have been more awesomer in the Batman/DC universe. Especially if Fraser Irving did the art.

/splooge

The Goddamn Bronson will always be better than the Goddamn Batman.


plus: Ernest Borgnine, Telly Savalas, Jim Brown, Lee Marvin, and Donald Sutherland. The entire Justice League would fall before the combined grit of these guys, and Batman, out of respect and the understanding that he is in way over his head, would just hand Ernest his belt and cape and retire.
 
2011-07-05 12:49:22 PM
I'm going to write a Superman comic where Superman is a P.O.W. and he uses his superpowers to build a bridge for Camp Commander Colonel Lex Luthohito, until Captain Bruce Wayne convinces him of his folly, and as Superman dies from a kryptonite bullet...he uses his heat ray to destroy the bridge.
 
2011-07-05 12:53:10 PM
Geddy Lee majors: I'm going to write a Superman comic where Superman is a P.O.W. and he uses his superpowers to build a bridge for Camp Commander Colonel Lex Luthohito, until Captain Bruce Wayne convinces him of his folly, and as Superman dies from a kryptonite bullet...he uses his heat ray to destroy the bridge.

Wait, that was an awesome John Candy movie.
 
2011-07-05 01:06:09 PM
just throwing this out there, but in hand to hand combat Captain America would kick batman's arse
 
2011-07-05 01:25:21 PM
kungfu jesus with a side of lime: just throwing this out there, but in hand to hand combat Captain America would kick batman's arse

are gadgets and shield involved?
 
2011-07-05 01:44:33 PM
Good old DC.

They won't release decent stories because the decent stories might interfere with whatever lame reboot is happening this week!

Or, the story might include a muslim, which is a no-no.
 
2011-07-05 02:16:37 PM
They were probably rejected because he told Adam West he would ditch him to go to a convention with William Shatner. Don't disrespect Batman.
 
2011-07-05 02:44:22 PM
farking io9! that's now the first website i've been banned from posting to...
 
2011-07-05 02:59:46 PM
kungfu jesus with a side of lime: just throwing this out there, but in hand to hand combat Captain America would kick batman's arse

god damnit, just god damnit
 
2011-07-05 03:22:47 PM
kungfu jesus with a side of lime: just throwing this out there, but in hand to hand combat Captain America would kick batman's arse

Oh, you.
 
2011-07-05 04:15:02 PM
He's just a patsy.
 
2011-07-05 04:30:48 PM
I would have purchased multiple copies of both books. I would have forced friends to read them.
 
2011-07-06 08:26:55 AM
we are going to assume that this was a no prep empty hand encounter.
Captain America is the perfect human, no no super powered being can match his strength, speed or endurance. He is a master tactician and knows more about fighting then just about anyone. Caphas taken the best of all martial arts and boiled it down to the most effective element, then he has devoted his life to fine tuning those skills till he was unmatched in hand to hand combat.

The miss match in endurance and stamina is enough to give this fight to Captain America...

/why do you hate America?
 
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