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(Miami Herald)   Step 1: get boat. Step 2: anchor outside multi-million dollar mansion. Step 3: ?   (miamiherald.com) divider line 148
    More: Florida, Biscayne Bay, Miami Beach, boaters, shantytowns, Local Politics, Holiday Inn, boats, dollars  
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17881 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2011 at 3:47 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-07-04 12:38:51 PM
3. Fish
 
2011-07-04 12:47:04 PM
"I don't feel secure in my house with them back there," said Patchen, who claims boaters once came onto her property and broke her light

Maybe if she didn't shine the spotlight all night the boaters wouldn't come ashore and disable it.

Just a thought.
 
2011-07-04 12:50:46 PM
Well nothing ruins a view more then boats.
images.travelpod.com

/see
 
2011-07-04 01:01:02 PM
There is a lot of smug butthurt in that article from people with a shiat ton of unwarranted self importance.
 
2011-07-04 01:16:44 PM
Maybe these canadian assholes should anchor off one of the Great Lakes. Just a thought.
 
2011-07-04 01:18:30 PM
The landowners only own the land to the high tide mark, anything below that is public land. The also don't own the water. Rich butt hurt, self important, elitist, baffons if you ask me.
 
2011-07-04 01:54:41 PM
Rich people think they own the damned ocean. farkem. I'd go up and break the light too
 
2011-07-04 02:23:14 PM
Nice house you got there. Shame if anything happened to it. Asshat.
 
2011-07-04 02:24:27 PM
Also haven't these self-entitled douchebags enacted noise ordinances? I'd think a call to the cops would put a stop to the loud music at least...
 
2011-07-04 03:18:47 PM

She noted that while the boaters get to drop anchor for free, some of her neighbors pay more than $100,000 in property taxes


I now have an almost overwhelming urge to rent a boat and anchor right off this woman's backyard. then party there for a week.
 
2011-07-04 03:48:52 PM
Rich white people problems.
 
2011-07-04 03:50:00 PM
Meh. white people problems.
 
2011-07-04 03:51:18 PM

Weaver95: She noted that while the boaters get to drop anchor for free, some of her neighbors pay more than $100,000 in property taxes

I now have an almost overwhelming urge to rent a boat and anchor right off this woman's backyard. then party there for a week.


I was thinking the same thing.
 
2011-07-04 03:51:51 PM
As someone who lives in an area with a shiat-ton of wealthy waterfront homes, I'm getting a kick. Seriously, rich people always seem so confused that the gorgeous, scenic waterfront view they paid millions for might, ya know, appeal to other people as well.
 
2011-07-04 03:53:20 PM
I liked that episode of the Sopranos.
 
2011-07-04 03:54:01 PM
Maybe Carlton should move back into his dad's [lace in Bel air
 
2011-07-04 03:54:22 PM

keiverarrow: Rich people think they own the damned ocean. farkem. I'd go up and break the light too


And rape them while you are at it? After all, it is selfish of them to not share their genitals with poor people.
 
2011-07-04 03:54:34 PM

TheDumbBlonde: Maybe these canadian assholes should anchor off one of the Great Lakes. Just a thought.


That would suck, anchoring on the land.
 
2011-07-04 03:54:40 PM
 
2011-07-04 03:54:52 PM
Am I the only person that immediately thought of the Sopranos?

Except that was coming from the boat directed at the house. And Sinatra instead of hip hop
 
2011-07-04 03:55:04 PM
It's like they live in a concentration camp now. Next, the gardeners will be allowed to use leaf blowers and the other servants allowed to arrive by the front door.
 
2011-07-04 03:55:07 PM
Step 3: I'm on a boat!
 
2011-07-04 03:55:52 PM

eas81: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x400]

/Fark those asshats im on a boat!!! (new window)


Link is NSFW sorry forgot that!!
 
2011-07-04 03:56:03 PM
IMO this is a huge problem in South Florida, rich people with 8 figure homes that want private beaches and ocean (which by the way is maintained with public funds). It is not just this neighborhood and it is not just water -- many beaches too.
 
2011-07-04 04:00:15 PM
If i was the owner, and there was a boat parked for more than a weekend, i'd just call FWC and report the boater for grey water or oil dumping.
 
2011-07-04 04:00:51 PM
Meh. Just get a bargeload of large pointy rocks and drop 'em everywhere in the water up to a depth of a foot or so below low tide. If you're nice, put up a sign saying "anchor here at your own risk."
 
2011-07-04 04:02:14 PM
Do NOT GIS "Fred Karlton"... seriously trust me on this one.
 
2011-07-04 04:04:51 PM
Should have thought of that before you bought the house, asshole.
 
2011-07-04 04:05:14 PM

lokis_mentor: If i was the owner, and there was a boat parked for more than a weekend, i'd just call FWC and report the boater for grey water or oil dumping.


You are an ass. You do not own the water, get over yourself.
 
2011-07-04 04:05:40 PM
Fark party in Biscayne Bay? I'd go.
 
2011-07-04 04:07:13 PM
I propose a scientific test to see if money, like hemorrhoids, hot chicks, and power tops, is only attracted to assholes, or if the having of money turns you into one.

/and why not having any turns everybody else into one
//comma comma comma comedian
 
2011-07-04 04:07:20 PM
I don't get it.

I am not really paying attention here, but I just don't understand why you'd think of something to eat in a cheese bowl.

Banana crackers Pea soup Milk Carrots Eggs

No sense whatsoever to my comments. I'm just blah blah blah and nobody is eating my potatoes. I can't handle the way the world eats like spiders are going out of style. Soon, my plans for world domination will come to fruition and you'll all be forced to dance MY version of the Macarena, which includes an extra twist at the end (not unlike a certain movie about seeing dead people).

No horses were harmed in the making of this picture. Food helmet.

Please, if you want to remain sane ignore this comment. It had nothing to do with anything, and your mental health is at risk by reading it. Oh. I suppose I should have said that first, huh? Smarty pants.

I don't like parsnips, not even with gravy.
 
2011-07-04 04:07:36 PM

Biff Spiffy: Fark party in Biscayne Bay? I'd go.


/Like?
//We should enable voting on this thread
 
2011-07-04 04:08:00 PM

Marcus Aurelius: "I don't feel secure in my house with them back there," said Patchen, who claims boaters once came onto her property and broke her light

Maybe if she didn't shine the spotlight all night the boaters wouldn't come ashore and disable it.

Just a thought.


Although the homeowners complaining about boats behind their houses is just white people's problems, going onto someone's property to destroy a piece of their property is a big no-no. Plus, with the laws in the state of Florida, the homeowner or their hired security goons could gun them down and not face any civil or criminal charges.
 
2011-07-04 04:09:13 PM
She noted that while the boaters get to drop anchor for free, some of her neighbors pay more than $100,000 in property taxes

That's pretty interesting; I too occasionally note two completely unrelated concepts and mention them in close proximity to one another.
 
2011-07-04 04:10:53 PM
This is the equivalent of a bunch of RVs parking in front of your house, peeing and dumping trash in your yard, and saying "you don't own the street" when you try to get them to leave.

Try to feel safe in your house with freeloaders camping not too far away. Eventually they will encroach on you.

I'm a boater, but if you want to anchor overnight, go to a marina.
 
2011-07-04 04:10:53 PM

Fear_and_Loathing: The landowners only own the land to the high tide mark, anything below that is public land. The also don't own the water. Rich butt hurt, self important, elitist, baffons if you ask me.


The article mentions that these boat owners will sometimes attempt to come onto his property. That's a pretty good reason to get upset. You would not want a bus parking in front of your house for a week and have the people on the bus occasionally hang out on your front lawn or porch. (Of course, if they ask and you are ok with it then no problem at all) Unfortunately the article does not really go into much detail.

Also, to everyone here saying that the boaters have every right to anchor off the coast, then the home owners have every right to shine a huge spotlight at them. It's a dick move but the homeowners seem to have been fed up with dicks moves by the boat owners. The only way for it to stop is for everyone to step back and respect each other.

It can be difficult when it involves rich people. Rich people buy these homes for privacy and absolutely hate when anythings come close to invading their privacy. It makes me wonder how far apart these homes are because if your neighbors can see you why care if some boat owners can see you? It's just hard to comprehend caring about that. I live in a city where I am surrounded by houses ten feet apart from each other and 20 feet across the street to more houses.
 
2011-07-04 04:11:16 PM

Snowballing: Marcus Aurelius: "I don't feel secure in my house with them back there," said Patchen, who claims boaters once came onto her property and broke her light

Maybe if she didn't shine the spotlight all night the boaters wouldn't come ashore and disable it.

Just a thought.

Although the homeowners complaining about boats behind their houses is just white people's problems, going onto someone's property to destroy a piece of their property is a big no-no. Plus, with the laws in the state of Florida, the homeowner or their hired security goons could gun them down and not face any civil or criminal charges.


true, it would be illegal to go onto her property and disable the spotlight. on the other hand, using a mirror to reflect the light back into her house would be perfectly fine.

bonus points for playing bagpipe music all night long. scotch drinking optional, as always.
 
2011-07-04 04:11:56 PM
What is "White people's problems"?

As compared to "Black people's problems"?

Seriously if you are going to play the race card you are picking the wrong race, the problems of black people are a 13 year old girl who has given birth to two crack babies.
 
2011-07-04 04:12:31 PM

bangmaid: This is the equivalent of a bunch of RVs parking in front of your house, peeing and dumping trash in your yard, and saying "you don't own the street" when you try to get them to leave.

Try to feel safe in your house with freeloaders camping not too far away. Eventually they will encroach on you.

I'm a boater, but if you want to anchor overnight, go to a marina.


Wrong. The ocean is not "someone's yard."
 
2011-07-04 04:13:06 PM

rebelyell2006: keiverarrow: Rich people think they own the damned ocean. farkem. I'd go up and break the light too

And rape them while you are at it? After all, it is selfish of them to not share their genitals with poor people.


The entire concept of simile just folded in on itself and collapsed in a cloud of stupid. I hope you're happy.
 
2011-07-04 04:13:18 PM

Weaver95: Snowballing: Marcus Aurelius: "I don't feel secure in my house with them back there," said Patchen, who claims boaters once came onto her property and broke her light

Maybe if she didn't shine the spotlight all night the boaters wouldn't come ashore and disable it.

Just a thought.

Although the homeowners complaining about boats behind their houses is just white people's problems, going onto someone's property to destroy a piece of their property is a big no-no. Plus, with the laws in the state of Florida, the homeowner or their hired security goons could gun them down and not face any civil or criminal charges.

true, it would be illegal to go onto her property and disable the spotlight. on the other hand, using a mirror to reflect the light back into her house would be perfectly fine.

bonus points for playing bagpipe music all night long. scotch drinking optional, as always.


Now that is creative thinking. Also, a parabolic dish for the music.
 
2011-07-04 04:15:14 PM

Weaver95: Snowballing: Marcus Aurelius: "I don't feel secure in my house with them back there," said Patchen, who claims boaters once came onto her property and broke her light

Maybe if she didn't shine the spotlight all night the boaters wouldn't come ashore and disable it.

Just a thought.

Although the homeowners complaining about boats behind their houses is just white people's problems, going onto someone's property to destroy a piece of their property is a big no-no. Plus, with the laws in the state of Florida, the homeowner or their hired security goons could gun them down and not face any civil or criminal charges.

true, it would be illegal to go onto her property and disable the spotlight. on the other hand, using a mirror to reflect the light back into her house would be perfectly fine.

bonus points for playing bagpipe music all night long. scotch drinking optional, as always.


I may be the only one, but I like bagpipe music.
And Scotch.
 
2011-07-04 04:15:18 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Do NOT GIS "Fred Karlton"... seriously trust me on this one.



lh6.googleusercontent.com

lh6.googleusercontent.com

lh6.googleusercontent.com
 
2011-07-04 04:15:26 PM
we'refromthesamestory Quote 2011-07-04 04:07:36 PM
Biff Spiffy: Fark party in Biscayne Bay? I'd go.

/Like?


Yes, and call it Asshatapooloza!

www.cmt.com
 
2011-07-04 04:16:22 PM
As a Floridian in the design stages of a 24' liveaboard I'm getting a kick...
The attitude of these people is sickening. The ocean and navigable waterways are public. If you are so concerned with your privacy then build a fence. Your property taxes don't buy you exclusivity. These are the same kind of assholes who blast their power boats through the channel with no heed to me and the wife in our current 14' sharpie sailer. The world is their oyster.
The wife and I are working on a plan to be living and traveling on our next boat self sufficiently within two years. I'm approaching the big 40 year mark. The wife calls me the reverse Jimmy Buffet: A Forty Year Old Looks at Piracy. Yeah, mid-life crisis, no shiat, Sherlock. I just don't see any fulfillment in working and slaving to attain things. If it means less comfort and security it also means more adventure and experience. Cocksuckers like this won't be missed.
 
2011-07-04 04:18:13 PM
1. Private property rights don't extend to public property.

2. Asshole neighbors are asshole neighbors and, sadly, that's not against the law.

2a. Property owners are probably violating noise and nuisance ordinances with music and lights.
2b. Boaters should not trespass or damage private property, create loud noises late at night or litter .

3. Why can't we all just get along?

/here in Va Beach, dickhead private property owners love to restrict public parking on public streets, resorting to 60-foot wide driveways and bogus 'No Parking' signs. (see #1 above)
 
2011-07-04 04:18:33 PM
I live and cruise aboard. I have for years. US laws and Florida laws are pretty clear that if it is off the channel and not a restricted zone you get to anchor there.

Demonize sailors all you like. But you should probably check these (almost ancient) laws before you purchase your waterfront McMansion. They exist and are perpetuated for very good reasons.

Some municipalities even require easements to water access and deny ownership of oceanfront to high tide mark - even if that means providing alleyways to waterfront.

The more you know
 
2011-07-04 04:18:37 PM

Snowballing: Also, a parabolic dish for the music.


LRAD...
You turn on loud music, I turn on the bleeding of ears.
 
2011-07-04 04:19:25 PM
TravisBickle62: Should have thought of that before you bought the house, asshole.

You mean he should have planned for new state regulations that effectively invalidate existing municipal laws that limit the length of time boaters can remain at anchor in (formerly) municipal waterways ?
 
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