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(Indie Wire)   Michael Bay writes letter to projectionists for Transformers 3. Projectionist's response letter more snarky and better written than any Bay film in history   (blogs.indiewire.com) divider line 299
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56700 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2011 at 7:17 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-06-27 06:20:27 PM
Classic
 
2011-06-27 06:35:24 PM
Would have been better if the projectionist had Godwinned that prick Bay somewhere in there, but I still give it two thumbs up.
 
2011-06-27 06:35:49 PM
Ooof
 
2011-06-27 06:43:00 PM
Hmmm, from 'Carl Fake'..... not sure I am buying this. It was honest and true, but was it real?
 
2011-06-27 06:48:44 PM
Dear Projectionists,

We worked hard to include as many explosions as possible in our latest film. As we all know in the industry, the quality of the film correlates directly with the number of explosions. For a better viewing experience, we ask that you set off some firecrackers in front of the projector during the full course of the film, so as to add more explosions where previously we were, for financial or safety reasons, unable to include them.

We're all in this together.

Explosively,
Michael Bay
 
2011-06-27 06:49:21 PM

Nogrhi: Hmmm, from 'Carl Fake'..... not sure I am buying this. It was honest and true, but was it real?


Well, he doesn't out where he works- only makes mention of his friend's working location, which could be different. Probably doesn't want to get fired.
 
2011-06-27 06:53:19 PM
Heh ...
 
2011-06-27 07:06:09 PM

downstairs: Nogrhi: Hmmm, from 'Carl Fake'..... not sure I am buying this. It was honest and true, but was it real?

Well, he doesn't out where he works- only makes mention of his friend's working location, which could be different. Probably doesn't want to get fired.


I agree. Had to ask the question since I could see it going either way.
 
2011-06-27 07:19:40 PM
That's a low bar to hurdle, subby.
 
2011-06-27 07:20:11 PM
If you Google "Projectionists Guild of America" you get only links to this story. Somehow or other I think Carl might be a genuine Fake.
 
2011-06-27 07:22:04 PM
Was it just me or did he try to turn his witty reply into an episode of Family Guy there at the end?
 
2011-06-27 07:23:07 PM
It always disturbed me that there is a projectionist union, its the easiest farking job in the world yet for some reason they act like its rocket science.
 
2011-06-27 07:23:27 PM
Typical sheeple. You haven't seen a film unless it's in 1D.
 
2011-06-27 07:23:45 PM
!!!BAYSPLOSIONS!!!
 
2011-06-27 07:24:29 PM
Fake, but very well done. Love the "movie based on a children's toy that is 10 minutes longer than 2001" and the throwaway about Harmony Korine and Trash Humpers (one of the worst "experimental" films I've had the displeasure of having to put on screen in the last 10 years).
 
2011-06-27 07:25:21 PM
The movie is 2hr 33min long? NONONONONONONONONO!



/hate shia
//anxiously await Topless Robot's review of the movie
 
2011-06-27 07:25:55 PM
I'm no fan of Bay and I've never even seen Transformers, but the response letter is pretty douchey.
 
2011-06-27 07:26:00 PM
Why are the 'misspelled' words underlined in squiggles? Who'd print a letter like that?

Also, shouldn't it be "projectionists' guild"?
 
2011-06-27 07:26:08 PM
Hi I'm Carl Fake and if you don't believe me, you can call me on my "555" phone number from my letterhead. If I don't answer, leave a message with my wife, Morgan Fairchild.
 
2011-06-27 07:26:12 PM
steamingpile: It always disturbed me that there is a projectionist union, its the easiest farking job in the world yet for some reason they act like its rocket science.

Not only that, apparently they're dicks.

Not correctly lighting films, checking focus, and switching out the 3d lens is a really big issue; and it's getting worse.

They'd be quite right to heed Bay's advice, as much of a douche as he is. After all, I can get a better picture on my home theater 90% of the time now because some lazy projectionist isn't doing their job. (Or worse, it's the theater manager doing it to save cash)
 
2011-06-27 07:26:25 PM
y'know, maybe if the projectionists could do their goddamn jobs and brighten the screen enough so that it's not a dark, muddled mess of 3D, Bay wouldn't have had to send that memo out.

/goddamn you Bay, for making me agree with you!
 
2011-06-27 07:26:26 PM
What? He wrote a nice letter with some helpful suggestions for viewing his awful, awful movie. It's not like he said, "fark you simpletons, do this and by the way, it's a masterpiece." I don't know who made up the fake letter from the fake guy from the fake guild that doesn't exist but it wasn't even that clever.
 
2011-06-27 07:26:48 PM

Nogrhi: Hmmm, from 'Carl Fake'..... not sure I am buying this. It was honest and true, but was it real?


memedepot.com
MemeDepot.com
 
2011-06-27 07:27:03 PM
Oh for a second I was going to go gung ho on Bay because I hate 3d movies with a passion, but the letter was about making the projection brighter. Thank you. Ebert's been talking about this for a while: theaters showing movies dim because they think it's goig to save them money and bulb life. End result=dim picture with weak images. And 3d movies tend to be doubly dark on the screen (I can handle the "sea sickness" no problem at all, but want to see the goddam film).
 
2011-06-27 07:27:32 PM
It's fake and if it wasn't, the dude who wrote it deserves to be kicked in the balls for being such a dick.
 
2011-06-27 07:27:59 PM

Nogrhi: Hmmm, from 'Carl Fake'..... not sure I am buying this. It was honest and true, but was it real?


I would imagine the guy doesn't want to get fired by putting his real name.
 
2011-06-27 07:28:09 PM

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: y'know, maybe if the projectionists could do their goddamn jobs and brighten the screen enough so that it's not a dark, muddled mess of 3D, Bay wouldn't have had to send that memo out.

/goddamn you Bay, for making me agree with you!


High five

/beat me fair and square
 
2011-06-27 07:28:14 PM

fusillade762: !!!BAYSPLOSIONS!!!


His movies were better back before the talkie era

i567.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-27 07:28:29 PM
That projectionist sure is uppity and self righteous for someone who has a job so easy a monkey could do it.
 
2011-06-27 07:29:06 PM

steamingpile: It always disturbed me that there is a projectionist union, its the easiest farking job in the world yet for some reason they act like its rocket science.


It's an easy job to do as long as everything is working. It's a real b*tch when things decide to stop working. At least if we're talking about real film projectors and not digital push-button assemblies.

And don't worry sunshine, there won't be projectionists around much longer anyway. In three years it will all be done by an automated computer program or a hand-held pda or smart phone in the hands of a bored teenage manager.
 
2011-06-27 07:29:12 PM
This impassioned plea might have worked better if it came from an actual filmmaker.

On the other hand, maybe not. Your typical projectionist is not a highly trained craftsman and guild member who takes pride in his work; he's a pimply-faced teenager who is paid minimum wage to run the projectors for 6 theaters simultaneously who also runs the chow counter slinging 10-gallon bags of popcorn to the masses on alternate weeks.

The theater system is dying, and gee-whiz 3D effects are not enough to save it.
 
2011-06-27 07:29:17 PM
Hand to God, I saw "Super 8" last weekend at a matinee and the screen was so dark you couldn't see anything unless the scene itself was brightly lit. It wasn't in 3D, it was just farking dark. So for the first time in 30 years of going to see movies, I went outside and raised holy hell about it.

I don't know what they did, but the film stopped for a few moments and when it came back on it was like someone had added an extra bulb to the projector. The screen just farking popped.

So in Mr. Bay's defense, I think some projectionists flat out don't give a shiat what they're serving to you until you call them on it.
 
2011-06-27 07:29:22 PM

darkjezter: That projectionist sure is uppity and self righteous for someone who has a job so easy a monkey could do it.


If you read the letter you would see he makes light of that.
 
2011-06-27 07:29:23 PM
Bay will probably view this response as praise.
 
2011-06-27 07:30:16 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

We're all in it together.
 
2011-06-27 07:30:26 PM
27.media.tumblr.com

Sorry, nothing witty to say. I saw "projectionist" and thought of her.
 
2011-06-27 07:30:27 PM

TyrantII: steamingpile: It always disturbed me that there is a projectionist union, its the easiest farking job in the world yet for some reason they act like its rocket science.

Not only that, apparently they're dicks.

Not correctly lighting films, checking focus, and switching out the 3d lens is a really big issue; and it's getting worse.

They'd be quite right to heed Bay's advice, as much of a douche as he is. After all, I can get a better picture on my home theater 90% of the time now because some lazy projectionist isn't doing their job. (Or worse, it's the theater manager doing it to save cash)


Apparently we were both prey to synchronicity.

/I'll storm the theater if you will
 
2011-06-27 07:30:32 PM
I lol'd.
 
2011-06-27 07:31:09 PM
I believe everything I read on the internet. It saves time doing research.
 
2011-06-27 07:31:36 PM
I'm sure Michael Bay is really upset by this and crying into his piles of money. You don't think he has piles of money sitting around? Of course he does. He's got a whole money room. It's like Elvis' Jungle Room, only with less jungle and slightly fewer semen stains.

Actually, the Bay letter didn't sound that douchey, but the response kinda did. It was funny, but c'mon, dude. You're a projectionist, not a cinematographer.
 
2011-06-27 07:31:45 PM
From "Carl Fake", with a 555 telephone number.

Google searches show no "Projectionist Guild of America, East", and very few references to "Carl Fake", and none related to him being in any way affiliated with show business (other than the article in question).

Isn't there supposed to be a picture of a Romulan here, holding an isolinear data rod and shouting something? A still from the DS9 episode "In the Pale Moonlight"? Isn't there?

I could be mistaken, but I think this letter from "Carl Fake" counts.
 
2011-06-27 07:32:01 PM
I don't know if 3D movies are too dim. Of the current fad's crop of films, I've only seen Avatar in 3D. I have read that it's a problem in many theaters that there is not a technically qualified projectionist on duty to make the necessary lens changes between 3D and 2D showings, and so the 3D lens is often left in place, which halves the light projected when a 2D film is run through. So apparently some projectionists, or their bosses, DO need to be told how to do their jobs. The extra money paid for 3D showings should cover the labor costs of properly operating the 3D equipment, including stowing it when it shouldn't be used.
 
2011-06-27 07:32:04 PM
www.dvandom.com
 
2011-06-27 07:33:16 PM
Dear Mr. Fake,

A winner is you!


/All Michael Bay's dignity are belong to you.
 
2011-06-27 07:33:30 PM
Bay seems to be making very valid points regarding the technology that is new for this particular film, in which a projectionist's job may have a really big effect on what it will look like.

Sounds like the projectionist guy is hating, a lil' bit.

Granted, maybe some of what Bay says is already known, but to those who don't, Bay is making sure of it. Nothing wrong with that.
 
2011-06-27 07:33:40 PM
i81.photobucket.com

Things that are old:
Headlines with "wait, what?", "You've already clicked the link haven't you?" and "Michael Bay sucks."

Criminy, man up and take the stick out of your nerdy, basement dwelling butt. "Wagh! I didn't like Transformers 2.".
Get over it. You weren't going to do anything special with those 2 hours anyway.
 
2011-06-27 07:34:05 PM
Silverstaff

It's a Carl Faaaaaaake!
 
2011-06-27 07:35:33 PM

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: y'know, maybe if the projectionists could do their goddamn jobs and brighten the screen enough so that it's not a dark, muddled mess of 3D, Bay wouldn't have had to send that memo out.

/goddamn you Bay, for making me agree with you!


Not to worry! The cheap bastards at the theaters have decided to fix the problems with 3D by ruining 2D movies too! (new window).

But seriously, we're talking about movie theaters. It's a place for bored teenagers to go sit in the dark, get drunk, and talk on their cellphones for few hours on a Friday night. Nobody over the age of seven is going to pay any attention to what happens on the screen during a Transforms movie.
 
2011-06-27 07:36:42 PM
Something about that "movie about a toy commercial that's ten minutes longer than 2001." line. I love it.
 
2011-06-27 07:36:46 PM
As soon as I read "cigarette burns" I couldn't help but see some creepy projectionist splicing porn frames into the movie. Which might actually make it better.

Fight Club is twelve years old? Damn.
 
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