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(Indie Wire)   Michael Bay writes letter to projectionists for Transformers 3. Projectionist's response letter more snarky and better written than any Bay film in history   (blogs.indiewire.com) divider line 299
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56707 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2011 at 7:17 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-06-28 02:07:43 AM  

archichris: Do I need to point out that you are one television generation away from no one going to the theater anymore? Your monopoly on first viewings is going to last exactly as long as it takes some movie exec to realize he can cut AMC out of the profit loop and stream the shiat directly to your 3d 56" home screen on opening night and you and your friends will gladly pay him 30 bucks a set for the honor.


Funny you should say that, and mention that specific price...cause it's already here. And most major theater chains are fighting it tooth and nail, threatening to boycott studios that participate.

Of course, at $30 a pop to see it just 2 months after it hits theaters (instead of the usual 4 months or so), it's still in the early stages. But it's just a matter of time before the cable/satellite providers find the sweet spot of price and studios convince the theaters to play along.

socialtimes.com
 
2011-06-28 02:10:09 AM  

Marcintosh: untaken_name: Marcintosh: Remember, you can't polish a turd.

Sure you can.

That is a polished turd. QED.


Ok but, can you pick it up by the clean end?


Now you're moving the goalposts.
 
2011-06-28 02:11:24 AM  
img.photobucket.com

"Distorsione di velocità. Questo film è più difettoso di quello ultimo!"
 
2011-06-28 02:12:28 AM  

People_are_Idiots: lest you end up inserting an image of "Deep Throat" at the wrong time.


There's a wrong time?
 
2011-06-28 02:41:25 AM  

monsatano: BaronBarracuda: stoli n coke: sidcart42: fark Michael Bay for attempting to address both viewer complaints, and an epidemic of lazy projectionists not bothering to do much of anything for the benefit of anyone not a projectionist.

Not adjusting the brightness properly, leaving the dimming 3D filter on for 2D movies. And I think there's plenty of anecdotal evidence of the people being asleep on the job half the time.

But yeah. Let's band together around any group that gives an unsolicited response to the guy attempting to get the audience what they pay for.

I swear, the Michael Bay hate has become as moronic as any religion. The dude made The Rock. He can shiat robots for the rest of his career and still deserve a healthy amount of respect.

The Rock was Jerry Bruckheimer's movie. Look at Bruckheimer's films from the early 90s. Every one of them, no matter what director, had the same look, style, and for the most part decent plots.

I still contend that Jerry could have hired Tony Scott to direct The Rock, and it would have come out 95% the same as Bay's version.

The Rock and the first Bad Boys were very good action movies, but did you notice the more creative control Bay got, the dumber and worse his movies became? That's why the quality nose-dived after Armageddon.

He can direct an action sequence, no question, but I think he won't have another decent movie until he gets someone looking over his shoulder again.

Batman Forever
Batman & Robin

I rest my casefail.

/Joel Schumacher


fark, that was Schumacher, wasn't it. God damn directors with their goofy names. I withdraw my statement about Bruckheimer.

Except the part about his goofy name.
 
2011-06-28 02:57:50 AM  

BaronBarracuda: fark, that was Schumacher, wasn't it. God damn directors with their goofy names. I withdraw my statement about Bruckheimer.

Except the part about his goofy name.


Its easy to remember.

Bruckheimer = generally awesome.

Schumacher = history's greatest monster.

/except for flatliners
 
2011-06-28 03:03:04 AM  
As someone who's planning on seeing the movie tonight, and probably in 3-D, I'm certainly getting a kick- and I'm glad to know that if the movie is too dark to see, I should go complain.

I'm seeing the movie because I love Transformers- if it ends up being bad, I won't buy the Blu-ray, like I didn't get the dvd of ROTF, but I did get the first one because that was good. Studios seem like they're taking more notice of disk sales than they used to, and perhaps eventually we'll reach the balance point where it actually becomes more profitable to make a quality movie ensuring disk sales than a crappy movie and banking on a big opening weekend before word of mouth moves out.

Of course, whether this happens before phyiscal media dies completely is a question, but I think there are probably enough curmugeons like me who like to actually own the things we pay for, and be able to access them without an internet connection or having to swap hard-drives between devices, that there'll probably be physical media for a while yet
 
2011-06-28 03:12:10 AM  

Jorn the Younger: Of course, whether this happens before phyiscal media dies completely is a question, but I think there are probably enough curmugeons like me who like to actually own the things we pay for, and be able to access them without an internet connection or having to swap hard-drives between devices, that there'll probably be physical media for a while yet


I still buy DVDs and even - gasp!- books.
 
2011-06-28 03:14:02 AM  

Jorn the Younger: As someone who's planning on seeing the movie tonight, and probably in 3-D, I'm certainly getting a kick- and I'm glad to know that if the movie is too dark to see, I should go complain.

I'm seeing the movie because I love Transformers- if it ends up being bad, I won't buy the Blu-ray, like I didn't get the dvd of ROTF, but I did get the first one because that was good. Studios seem like they're taking more notice of disk sales than they used to, and perhaps eventually we'll reach the balance point where it actually becomes more profitable to make a quality movie ensuring disk sales than a crappy movie and banking on a big opening weekend before word of mouth moves out.

Of course, whether this happens before phyiscal media dies completely is a question, but I think there are probably enough curmugeons like me who like to actually own the things we pay for, and be able to access them without an internet connection or having to swap hard-drives between devices, that there'll probably be physical media for a while yet


To me the problem is that sequels to a good movie are pretty much guaranteed to be profitable. I agree with you that the first movie was good and it was very successful. Given that it was a certainty that no matter how bad it was it would make money. And it did. I wonder how many times they can pull this off before the people catch on.
 
2011-06-28 03:14:12 AM  
If dim projectors are an issue, why don't studios produce some certification scheme for participating theatres and equipment makers that bother to pass certification with a small % discount. Like THX but for visuals. Everyone wins.
 
2011-06-28 03:24:56 AM  

drxym: If dim projectors are an issue, why don't studios produce some certification scheme for participating theatres and equipment makers that bother to pass certification with a small % discount. Like THX but for visuals. Everyone wins.


The movie going public would win, not that theyd really notice, but it wouldnt drastically increase attendance, so the studios and theaters dont really care. Whos it profitable for? Have to spend money on advertising to even make people aware of it... 95% of people dont notice/care when the pictures too dim, and of the 5% that do, 95% are to pussy to complain.
 
2011-06-28 03:26:01 AM  

ChadM89: Jorn the Younger: Of course, whether this happens before phyiscal media dies completely is a question, but I think there are probably enough curmugeons like me who like to actually own the things we pay for, and be able to access them without an internet connection or having to swap hard-drives between devices, that there'll probably be physical media for a while yet

I still buy DVDs and even - gasp!- books.


what gasp? I buy books all the time. Books are awesome- e-readers just aren't the same- they're convenient, but I hold mine like I hold books, so my hand starts hurting after very little reading time, and I have to stop and put it down after just a couple of hours.

Movies and games are going to head into a purely digital distribution model much faster than print
 
2011-06-28 03:47:16 AM  
I don't care that it's fake, it is pretty damn funny. 153 minutes? I wasn't exactly excited to see the movie, but this definitely seals the deal that I will wait for the Blu Ray rental in a few months.

And I agree with everyone above talking about how much 3D sucks. Especially considering it is often (usually?) done in post processing so it isn't real 3D anyway. It does seem to be better with animated films, but I won't spring for the nearly doubled ticket price.
 
2011-06-28 04:20:28 AM  
I am a projectionist. F u Bay, explosions don't make a movie... maybe Eberts blog scared you that you would'nt make 10 trillion dollars. Oh no!

3D sucks.

2 lenses does not mean there is a polarizer involved. We have a light doubler...
 
2011-06-28 04:21:46 AM  

drxym: If dim projectors are an issue, why don't studios produce some certification scheme for participating theatres and equipment makers that bother to pass certification with a small % discount. Like THX but for visuals. Everyone wins.


Nobody wins when it is another Transformers movie.
 
2011-06-28 05:23:11 AM  

Cyno01: /except for flatliners


no love for the lost boys?

cdn.fd.uproxx.com
 
2011-06-28 05:54:10 AM  

okiemule: People_are_Idiots: lest you end up inserting an image of "Deep Throat" at the wrong time.

There's a wrong time?


Yep, just past the cigar burn is perfect, so parents won't notice, but the kids will.
 
2011-06-28 05:54:36 AM  
I'm all for Michael Bay hate, but is suggesting that projectionists maximize brightness in 3D films really such a bad idea?

Because for every one awesome, professional projectionist out there who knows his shiat and is outraged by being told what he already knows, there are 20 projectionists for whom it is merely 'a shiatty job I once had' and they might actually benefit from being reminded that they can improve the visual quality of a 3D film for their audience.
 
2011-06-28 06:06:45 AM  
Although nowhere near as dangerous as it used to be, serious injury or death is still a very real possibility for an under-trained projectionist asked to do any number of things they are not qualified for. In my years of working at movie theaters, every projectionist I ever encountered took their job very seriously (myself included). And if anyone ever got "baked" on the job, you better believe is was just as seriously (myself included).
 
2011-06-28 07:06:13 AM  
WTH people!

Get with the Fox photos or GTFO

Can't believe you nerds, as if the brightess of the robots is important or something....

i55.tinypic.com
 
2011-06-28 07:17:26 AM  

Corvus: Nogrhi: Hmmm, from 'Carl Fake'..... not sure I am buying this. It was honest and true, but was it real?

I would imagine the guy doesn't want to get fired by putting his real name.


I'd expect that would cause massive response from the very powerful Projectionist's [sic] Guild of America East. You think the UAW or the Teamsters are something? Let me tell you friend, you do not fark with Big Projection!
 
2011-06-28 08:35:19 AM  
You know what?

I loved Transformers. Transformers 2 was not quite as good, but I had a good time watching it. Early reviews are saying this one is better. I am sure I'm going to have a good time.

People love hating on things on the Internet, but you know what? They will be sitting there munching popcorn and eating their awesome just like everyone else (except for, of course, the most die hard trolls).

Keep 'em coming, Bay. Keep 'em coming. And have fun laughing all the way to the bank. You know what people want.
 
2011-06-28 09:22:55 AM  
I managed a 7 screen theater for a few years (having started working there in high school as an usher) and I have to say that, while the basics of projection are pretty easy, it's something that, at the very least, requires responsible attention. This is mostly due to the maintenance that surrounds running a projection booth, but also because there is a commitment to detail required to ensure the best possible presentation. A lot of the derision I've read in this thread and in the article comments are made from ignorance of what can (and certainly does) go wrong in a projection booth to compromise presentation quality. It's not a *necessarily* difficult job, but it does entail ensuring that a lot of things go right... all the time, every time.

Have you ever destroyed a 5,000 watt bulb? It's kinda fun.
 
2011-06-28 09:31:51 AM  
Spike Lee actually did the same thing for Crooklyn, only it was useful since he was warning us (as a former projectionist) that one of the reels of the film was done in scope and the rest of the movie was presented in flat. He asked us not to set up a lens change for that segment to present the mood he was trying to convey.

The theater had to make copies of that letter for the 50 (or so) who watched the movie and decided to come out and let us know that the movie looked "weird."
 
2011-06-28 09:43:46 AM  

libranoelrose: Mykeru: Shirley Ujest: First rule of the Popcorn Scooper Union is you don't talk about the Popcorn Scooper Union. Ever.

"A nice big cock"


How the fark did you slip an animated gif in here? I occasionally try, but usually denied. I get some error message about the file size being too large or Drew's penis being too small, or something like that. Maybe both.

/Just kidding Drew.

//Whistle-dick.
 
2011-06-28 09:46:46 AM  

monsatano: The All-Powerful Atheismo: monsatano: Apache Drive-In


/worth it

Worth living in Arizona?

If Phoenix was the armpit of Arizona, Globe would be the butthole.

/short answer
//no


I kind of miss Arizona.

/Well, not Bullhead City.

//Yes, there is such a place.

///If you were going to give the universe an enema, that's where you would stick the nozzle.

////And if you were going to do "the shocker", you'd stick two fingers in Laughlin, NV.
 
2011-06-28 10:10:43 AM  
To whomever posted about drive-ins up there:

Our closest one is 45 minutes away, but totally worth the drive. This weekend we're taking our toddler to see "Cars 2" (pat of a double feature, the later movie being "The Green Lantern"). She can enjoy the movie, play in the back of the dragon wagon (our car), and not disturb other patrons if she gets bored or upset. We (as customers) have never had an issue with their projection, and the cost is way cheaper ($13 pays for 2 adults at the double feature and kids under 5 are free). Snacks are also cheaper, and they have no problem with us bringing in special snacks for her. Not to mention, if she gets sleepy we can lay her down in the back with her lovey, and we get to keep watching the movie.
 
2011-06-28 10:22:00 AM  

BaronBarracuda: HeartBurnKid: BaronBarracuda: EdNortonsTwin: In a matter of a few minutes, Stephen King can turn words on a few pieces of paper in to a three dimensional character. Why Michael bay can't develop a character or a storyline in three torturous hours of video?. It's pathetic. Gheezuz are Bay's plot lines borish.

And in just a few more minutes, he can utterly destroy any respect he had by turning his writings into stupid movies (Maximum Overdrive) and allowing others to turn them into stupid movies (Sleepwalkers, The Langoliers).

Not to mention his hate-boner for kids, Christians, Maine, and characters who aren't stupid or grating douchebags.

There you go on the mindless hate wagon.

There you go on the mindless drivel. Pointing out known facts about King's writing style and tropes =/= hating.


And yet pointing out known facts about Bay's directing style and tropes == hating?
 
2011-06-28 10:30:44 AM  

eivomlive: To whomever posted about drive-ins up there:

Our closest one is 45 minutes away, but totally worth the drive. This weekend we're taking our toddler to see "Cars 2" (pat of a double feature, the later movie being "The Green Lantern"). She can enjoy the movie, play in the back of the dragon wagon (our car), and not disturb other patrons if she gets bored or upset. We (as customers) have never had an issue with their projection, and the cost is way cheaper ($13 pays for 2 adults at the double feature and kids under 5 are free). Snacks are also cheaper, and they have no problem with us bringing in special snacks for her. Not to mention, if she gets sleepy we can lay her down in the back with her lovey, and we get to keep watching the movie.


Yeah, drive-ins are awesome- it's quite a comfortable experience. My closest is over an hour away, and unfortunately only open weekends, which is when I work =(

But, thanks to this thread, I swung by my local theatre after work this morning and picked up tickets for 12:01 tonight (Yes, I know there are even earlier showings at 9 all over the place, to artificially increase "opening weekend" numbers, but I expect a better (and less likely to be child-filled) at the late show, and I don't have to wake up early!
 
2011-06-28 10:44:07 AM  

davidphogan: Mykeru: davidphogan: The projectionist came across as a smug douche (or a typical Farker), but I haven't gone to a movie in a theater in years, and probably won't bother anytime soon. Between the prices, the audience, the shiat service, etc I can't believe anyone still goes.

I go to hear the narration.

From the douche-bag sitting behind me.

Exactly. Last movie I saw in a theater was Terminator 4, and ended up in front of a blind guy and his friend who narrated it for him. I felt like an asshat when I said something and found out one guy was blind, but if you can't see the movie (especially a Terminator movie) why go to a theater to watch it?

I'll stick to watching movies at home on my big screen. At least I can pause it to take a leak.


So the blind guy was also deaf???
 
2011-06-28 11:02:36 AM  
Please make sure it's in good focus so the audience can be fully inundated with General Motors advertising.
 
2011-06-28 11:26:45 AM  

cervier: davidphogan: Mykeru: davidphogan: The projectionist came across as a smug douche (or a typical Farker), but I haven't gone to a movie in a theater in years, and probably won't bother anytime soon. Between the prices, the audience, the shiat service, etc I can't believe anyone still goes.

I go to hear the narration.

From the douche-bag sitting behind me.

Exactly. Last movie I saw in a theater was Terminator 4, and ended up in front of a blind guy and his friend who narrated it for him. I felt like an asshat when I said something and found out one guy was blind, but if you can't see the movie (especially a Terminator movie) why go to a theater to watch it?

I'll stick to watching movies at home on my big screen. At least I can pause it to take a leak.

So the blind guy was also deaf???


No. He couldn't see the scene, so his friend narrated the action to him. As in, "there's a big robot shooting at the humans and scooping them up."
 
2011-06-28 11:43:21 AM  
Hmm... i wonder why it hasnt been brought up that 3D movies are no longer on film these days.. all digital.. just another reason for a fake..

/and if it has... im blind
 
2011-06-28 12:16:04 PM  

little big man: What? He wrote a nice letter with some helpful suggestions for viewing his awful, awful movie. It's not like he said, "fark you simpletons, do this and by the way, it's a masterpiece." I don't know who made up the fake letter from the fake guy from the fake guild that doesn't exist but it wasn't even that clever.


The problem is more that Bay assumes his films aren't pieces of crap to begin with.

I liked the first one for the same reason I liked G.I. Joe--I like seeing competent professionals in a storyline do their jobs, and the squad in Transformers did pretty damn well. But eventually I just turn on G.I. Joe, because Transformers is getting old. There really is no plotline, character development, or anything other than explosions, fight scenes, and boobs. If you can't write without an inner ten-year-old, you really just shouldn't write at all.
 
2011-06-28 12:47:20 PM  
Megan Fox has toe-thumbs.
 
2011-06-28 12:51:53 PM  
I have to give TF 2: The revenge of jimmy fallon a bit of a pass, mostly because it was a victim of the Writers' Strike of the time, not that it still couldn't have used some serious post-production. Anyone remember what happened when TV had to suffer through their strike? oof!

Anyway, I'll give 3 a go this week, as I'll be taking my nephew to it for his birthday. Mostly in the hope that the numbers will insure that any future TF films will have a proper crew handling it next go-around. And Unicron. And Dinobots. And a actual Devastator.

If not, I might have to go punch a camel in the trailer.
 
2011-06-28 01:05:24 PM  

Accolade:
Have you ever destroyed a 5,000 watt bulb? It's kinda fun.


No, but I destroyed 5,000 1-watt bulbs. Does that count?
 
2011-06-28 01:08:27 PM  

monsatano: Cyno01: /except for flatliners

no love for the lost boys?


Ok, but only the first half.
 
2011-06-28 02:05:05 PM  
"and we really appreciate that you printed it on double-sided paper"

What exactly is single-sided paper?

Is he happy that the memo wasn't on a mobius strip?

/hehe...Carl Fake.
 
2011-06-28 04:12:29 PM  
As someone seeing DotM in 3D tonight at a theater I trust to project it correctly, I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

And seriously people, Michael Bay makes action movies! Do you folks complain about bad writing/characterization in pornos too?

/almost said "flat characters" but realized that would be a mistake.
 
2011-06-28 04:15:05 PM  

Slothbaby: "and we really appreciate that you printed it on double-sided paper"

What exactly is single-sided paper?

Is he happy that the memo wasn't on a mobius strip?

/hehe...Carl Fake.


Double-sided paper = single-sided paper + a hole punch

/child of the 80's
 
2011-06-28 05:04:27 PM  

Atomic_Cockroach: Do you folks complain about bad writing/characterization in pornos too?


Absolutely, Complaining about the plot is the best part of watching porno.

/saw avatar last time he was in a theater.
//The glasses were greasy with someone else's nose grease, didn't fit over his real glasses, and the 3d gimmick gave him half a migraine to make all those flowers float around.
///Also ended up $30 poorer.
////downloads his movies these days. works better, no public to deal with, no 3D garbage.
 
2011-06-28 05:08:24 PM  
fluffy2097:Absolutely, Complaining about the plot is the best part of watching porno.

True. But the point is, you don't expect the people making porn to somehow come up with Citizen Kane, why expect it from the people who film explosions?
 
2011-06-28 05:42:15 PM  

Atomic_Cockroach: fluffy2097:Absolutely, Complaining about the plot is the best part of watching porno.

True. But the point is, you don't expect the people making porn to somehow come up with Citizen Kane, why expect it from the people who film explosions?


I believe they did come up with Titizen Caned though.

/probably swept the porn awards that year
 
2011-06-28 06:08:56 PM  

Atomic_Cockroach: True. But the point is, you don't expect the people making porn to somehow come up with Citizen Kane, why expect it from the people who film explosions?


I would argue there is more to a good action movie then explosions. I submit The Matrix as evidence. (Yup, it's an Action movie, Google it.)

If you want to call the Transformers franchise "Explosion Movies" instead of "Action Movies", I'll concede your point. Otherwise I'd rather not support the degradation of a film genre I like by seeing these films. I'll wait for the next movie that's actually worth seeing rather then use the movies as something to do every Friday night.
 
2011-06-28 06:20:55 PM  

fluffy2097: Atomic_Cockroach: True. But the point is, you don't expect the people making porn to somehow come up with Citizen Kane, why expect it from the people who film explosions?

I would argue there is more to a good action movie then explosions. I submit The Matrix as evidence. (Yup, it's an Action movie, Google it.)

If you want to call the Transformers franchise "Explosion Movies" instead of "Action Movies", I'll concede your point. Otherwise I'd rather not support the degradation of a film genre I like by seeing these films. I'll wait for the next movie that's actually worth seeing rather then use the movies as something to do every Friday night.


Exactly. It sucks now that people have lowered their storytelling expectations so much when it comes to action movies. The Matrix, Die Hard, Robocop, The French Connection, Terminators 1 and 2, Bullitt, Escape From New York, Dirty Harry, Jurassic Park, and even Bay's own movie, The Rock prove that you can have an action movie and have a script that's not completely retarded.

If a director gets a $200 million budget to make a movie, it's nice when it doesn't feel like the script was written the night before shooting started.
 
2011-06-28 06:31:09 PM  
fluffy2097:
stoli n coke:


Don't get me wrong; it's always nice when an action movie has more to it than just mindless fun, but I don't consider that a requirement to enjoying it. To use an analogy, I love "Half-Life 2" but that doesn't mean I don't also enjoy playing "Doom 3".
 
2011-06-28 08:28:34 PM  

Atomic_Cockroach: fluffy2097:
stoli n coke:

Don't get me wrong; it's always nice when an action movie has more to it than just mindless fun, but I don't consider that a requirement to enjoying it. To use an analogy, I love "Half-Life 2" but that doesn't mean I don't also enjoy playing "Doom 3".


I don't mind the occasional bad action movie myself, but when it comes to forking over 13 bucks a ticket, you have to give me more than just 2 hours of shiat gettin blowd up good.

Bay's an interesting study in Hollywood, in that he knows how to make a total package movie (story and effects-wise), but he doesn't.

I think it would do him some good if he went the Bruckheimer route again and scouted out decent writers. (The Rock was re-written by Tarantino and Sorkin, FFS). It'd likely get better results than the hack he's got working for him now (who, before Transformers, had the box-office calling cards of "Reindeer Games" and "Scream 3")
 
2011-06-29 11:50:00 AM  

stoli n coke: fluffy2097: Atomic_Cockroach: True. But the point is, you don't expect the people making porn to somehow come up with Citizen Kane, why expect it from the people who film explosions?

I would argue there is more to a good action movie then explosions. I submit The Matrix as evidence. (Yup, it's an Action movie, Google it.)

If you want to call the Transformers franchise "Explosion Movies" instead of "Action Movies", I'll concede your point. Otherwise I'd rather not support the degradation of a film genre I like by seeing these films. I'll wait for the next movie that's actually worth seeing rather then use the movies as something to do every Friday night.

Exactly. It sucks now that people have lowered their storytelling expectations so much when it comes to action movies. The Matrix, Die Hard, Robocop, The French Connection, Terminators 1 and 2, Bullitt, Escape From New York, Dirty Harry, Jurassic Park, and even Bay's own movie, The Rock prove that you can have an action movie and have a script that's not completely retarded.

If a director gets a $200 million budget to make a movie, it's nice when it doesn't feel like the script was written the night before shooting started.


Even more recently, you have stuff like Dark Knight, District 9, Kick-Ass, Inception, etc. People making excuses about it being "just a popcorn flick" really need to step back and see how awesome a popcorn flick can be. If they did, they wouldn't settle for drek like Transformers.
 
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