Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Indie Wire)   Michael Bay writes letter to projectionists for Transformers 3. Projectionist's response letter more snarky and better written than any Bay film in history   (blogs.indiewire.com ) divider line
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

56725 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2011 at 7:17 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



298 Comments   (+0 »)

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2011-06-27 08:00:29 PM  
I hate this franchise. The effects are awesome. I like the female eye candy. You'd think based on just those two elements that I'd absolutely love all of these stupid movies but no... there's something about the story and writing that is just so brutally sappy and grating and soul-suckingly annoying that I can't ignore it. It makes me angry. Every time a character speaks I want to punch myself in the head but the effects are so goddamn awesome that I have to sit through the stupid movie anyways.

Fark the cinema though. I'm watching this one at home on my projector. Not as good but good enough, and I'm hoping that if I get myself hammered beforehand I won't care how shiatty the movie really is.
 
2011-06-27 08:01:55 PM  
Anything that is 3-D is an abortion on film, just my thoughts no one asked for.
 
2011-06-27 08:01:58 PM  

Eddie_Dean_NY: It's an easy job to do as long as everything is working. It's a real b*tch when things decide to stop working. At least if we're talking about real film projectors and not digital push-button assemblies.

And don't worry sunshine, there won't be projectionists around much longer anyway. In three years it will all be done by an automated computer program or a hand-held pda or smart phone in the hands of a bored teenage manager.


Yeah, even when it breaks if you have the mental capacity of a 7 year old you can fix any issue.

And they will always need humans to push to robots buttons and you can bet the unions will get their guys paid $40/hr for that skill.
 
2011-06-27 08:02:04 PM  

bdub77: I used to hate Michael Bay but now I just don't watch his movies. It's really not worth the effort to beat a dead horse. If you want to go to a movie and have someone figuratively masturbate onto your face, go right ahead.


I like bukkake (Warning: Far more coherent than a Michael Bay film)
 
2011-06-27 08:02:22 PM  

CygnusDarius: Here's a synopsis of most of the movies filmed by Michael Bay:

Explosive intro!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
2-minute over dramatic bio of patriotic character
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
5-minutes of the American Flag flying true in the sky
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosive ending!
Credits with Knickleback song!


Well then, here's the master class trailer (new window)
 
2011-06-27 08:02:50 PM  

Jument: I hate this franchise. The effects are awesome. I like the female eye candy. You'd think based on just those two elements that I'd absolutely love all of these stupid movies but no... there's something about the story and writing that is just so brutally sappy and grating and soul-suckingly annoying that I can't ignore it. It makes me angry. Every time a character speaks I want to punch myself in the head but the effects are so goddamn awesome that I have to sit through the stupid movie anyways.


That's because of the $100 million dollars they spent on it, they allocated $531.23 for writing.
 
2011-06-27 08:04:23 PM  
Here's a question, though.

If a Nintendo 3DS, a tiny little device that is sizes smaller than a movie screen, lets me see 3D games with no use for glasses, why can't anyone develop a 3D/2D movie screen?.

/I'm aware of the Sony TV, thx
 
2011-06-27 08:04:58 PM  

Mykeru: bdub77: I used to hate Michael Bay but now I just don't watch his movies. It's really not worth the effort to beat a dead horse. If you want to go to a movie and have someone figuratively masturbate onto your face, go right ahead.

I like bukkake (Warning: Far more coherent than a Michael Bay film)


Well, that'll teach me to leave my speakers turned up.
 
2011-06-27 08:06:40 PM  

pion: That's because of the $100 million dollars they spent on it, they allocated $531.23 for writing.


What you failed to mention is that budget includes purchasing a $500 pencil.
 
2011-06-27 08:06:44 PM  

Jument: I hate this franchise. The effects are awesome. I like the female eye candy. You'd think based on just those two elements that I'd absolutely love all of these stupid movies but no... there's something about the story and writing that is just so brutally sappy and grating and soul-suckingly annoying that I can't ignore it. It makes me angry. Every time a character speaks I want to punch myself in the head but the effects are so goddamn awesome that I have to sit through the stupid movie anyways.

Fark the cinema though. I'm watching this one at home on my projector. Not as good but good enough, and I'm hoping that if I get myself hammered beforehand I won't care how shiatty the movie really is.


Maybe this will make you feel better.

Michael Bay Finally Made An Art Movie (new window)
 
2011-06-27 08:06:49 PM  

CygnusDarius: Here's a question, though.

If a Nintendo 3DS, a tiny little device that is sizes smaller than a movie screen, lets me see 3D games with no use for glasses, why can't anyone develop a 3D/2D movie screen?.

/I'm aware of the Sony TV, thx


Mainly cuz the 3DS is a tiny little device and movie screens are ginormous and still would require projected images. The tech is slowly getting there, though.
 
2011-06-27 08:08:10 PM  

CygnusDarius: Here's a question, though.

If a Nintendo 3DS, a tiny little device that is sizes smaller than a movie screen, lets me see 3D games with no use for glasses, why can't anyone develop a 3D/2D movie screen?.

/I'm aware of the Sony TV, thx


I imagine it's because, much like with the 3DS, in order to see the 3D, you'd need something like this:

www.spineuniverse.com
 
2011-06-27 08:08:25 PM  
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8045081029110041783#docid=234​2432024966 759812

"The Projectionist"
 
2011-06-27 08:08:32 PM  

BobNesta420: This is the first I ever heard of such a thing. I just figured it was part of the rotation of jobs that a movie theater employee had to do: ticket taker, popcorn scooper, projectionist, etc. I assumed they drew straws every night to figure out who did what.


Usually the person is hired for that job or in my case was friends with the old projectionist who let me take over his position, it was a sweet gig, work late on thursdays or early fridays splicing reels together while drinking and thats pretty much all the work you do. During the showings you just thread the fill back to the platter which takes about 20 mins for an 8 screen theater then its sit and watch them or smoke pot while drinking free cokes. And nothing goes wrong unless you are a complete moron.

I thought it was a joke the first time I heard about the unions as well, not only that the head projectionist does virtually nothing and has one or two assistants who do all the work, the people who defend unions have never had prolonged exposure to on or are just part of a family who all worked at a union shop.
 
2011-06-27 08:08:40 PM  

Arachnophobe: Mykeru: bdub77: I used to hate Michael Bay but now I just don't watch his movies. It's really not worth the effort to beat a dead horse. If you want to go to a movie and have someone figuratively masturbate onto your face, go right ahead.

I like bukkake (Warning: Far more coherent than a Michael Bay film)

Well, that'll teach me to leave my speakers turned up.


Newb ;)
 
2011-06-27 08:08:43 PM  
I worked as a projectionist a LONG time ago. For some reason I still have the "Theater Allignment Program" package for U2: Rattle and Hum. it included a letter that was of similar tone. Basically 'There's Music in this movie. It's actually rather important. Try to set the sound equipment up correctly, instead of the way you probably do it normally.'

/not very cool story bro
 
2011-06-27 08:09:20 PM  
Bay isn't the worlds best filmmaker or anything, but he's asking nicely for theater workers to actually appreciate their line of work and make people's movie going experience a good one. Nothing wrong with that. I'm hoping his movie does improve upon 3D at the theater, because done correctly it really could start bringing people back to theaters.
 
2011-06-27 08:12:30 PM  
The projectionist came across as a smug douche (or a typical Farker), but I haven't gone to a movie in a theater in years, and probably won't bother anytime soon. Between the prices, the audience, the shiat service, etc I can't believe anyone still goes.
 
2011-06-27 08:13:13 PM  
www.crankycritic.com

Hey, guys! Miss me?
 
2011-06-27 08:14:56 PM  
It'll be worse than that time that Harmony Korine broke into the projection booth and rubbed his balls on the "Trash Humpers" print.

I've only ever watched the trailer for this movie but it's pretty farking strange. Link (new window)
 
2011-06-27 08:15:02 PM  

davidphogan: The projectionist came across as a smug douche (or a typical Farker), but I haven't gone to a movie in a theater in years, and probably won't bother anytime soon. Between the prices, the audience, the shiat service, etc I can't believe anyone still goes.


I go to hear the narration.

From the douche-bag sitting behind me.
 
2011-06-27 08:15:35 PM  
I don't think Bay's wrong (with the letter, I agree his movie making sucks). If audiences are complaining about dim 3D movies, then there is an issue. The director has tackled his part (post-production) and is asking the theaters to do their part (crank the brightness up).

If there are audience complaints then the projectionists shouldn't feel too smug.
 
2011-06-27 08:15:51 PM  

Tentacle: CygnusDarius: Here's a synopsis of most of the movies filmed by Michael Bay:

Explosive intro!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
2-minute over dramatic bio of patriotic character
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
5-minutes of the American Flag flying true in the sky
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosive ending!
Credits with Knickleback song!

Well then, here's the master class trailer (new window)


Hah. Now try it without music. Lame, right?
Wagner was right - the importance is in the Gesamtkunstwerk.
 
2011-06-27 08:16:05 PM  

Shirley Ujest: floor: strife: He did? Personally I think he just needs to go back to the editing room with ROTF. Didn't hate it like everyone else, but there are some "WTF?" moments.

Personally I think he should re-edit (and maybe re film) the Merchant/Ivory film "Room With a View".


There is no "Ka-boom" in that film. Bay wouldn't know what to do with himself.


CGI its the answer to everything.
 
2011-06-27 08:16:30 PM  
I like Michael Bay movies. There, I said it.
 
2011-06-27 08:16:41 PM  
Michael Bay knows his movie is a flashy gimmick. If he believed his movie was the next SW: Empire Strikes Back, he would've said "Get your shiat together or I'm not allowing you to show my movie!" Alas, he shows his true colors and is like "The graphics are everything. If the graphics are blinding or shiatty, the movie is ruined, the Blu-ray sales are going to suffer because everyone will remember how shiatty it looked because there was no plot to remember."
 
2011-06-27 08:16:46 PM  

SweetSilverBlues: CygnusDarius: Here's a question, though.

If a Nintendo 3DS, a tiny little device that is sizes smaller than a movie screen, lets me see 3D games with no use for glasses, why can't anyone develop a 3D/2D movie screen?.

/I'm aware of the Sony TV, thx

Mainly cuz the 3DS is a tiny little device and movie screens are ginormous and still would require projected images. The tech is slowly getting there, though.


I think eventually all movies will turn into videogame-esque experiences that you will be able to change the plot from the canonical ending, which will in turn make for interesting conversations afterwards.

"Oh, I loved the plot, and Monica Belucci is such a great actress"

"Uh, I don't know. I just saw an hour and a half of Monica Belucci and Scarlett Johanson getting freaky on each other".
 
2011-06-27 08:17:02 PM  
I understand and agree that Michael Bay makes movies with lots of explosions, little depth, lots of explosions, unrealistic characters and LOTS of explosions. But what else would you expect from a movie about the damn Transformers? I think his style is suited for this franchise... although that's no excuse for how shiatty Transformers 2 was. But hopefully he learned from that mistake and made this one with a slightly less retarded story , slightly less retarded characters and better explosions than the last one.
 
2011-06-27 08:17:06 PM  

Mykeru: davidphogan: The projectionist came across as a smug douche (or a typical Farker), but I haven't gone to a movie in a theater in years, and probably won't bother anytime soon. Between the prices, the audience, the shiat service, etc I can't believe anyone still goes.

I go to hear the narration.

From the douche-bag sitting behind me.


I go so I can read what the girl in front of me is texting to her friends.
 
2011-06-27 08:17:32 PM  

Begoggle: I'm no fan of Bay and I've never even seen Transformers, but the response letter is pretty douchey.


If you haven't watched at least one of them you shouldn't be giving you're opinion.
 
2011-06-27 08:19:19 PM  

Tillmaster: THah. Now try it without music. Lame, right?
Wagner was right - the importance is in the Gesamtkunstwerk.


Oh, I don't know. I just found a new favorite band.
 
2011-06-27 08:19:26 PM  

gojirast: I worked as a projectionist a LONG time ago. For some reason I still have the "Theater Allignment Program" package for U2: Rattle and Hum. it included a letter that was of similar tone. Basically 'There's Music in this movie. It's actually rather important. Try to set the sound equipment up correctly, instead of the way you probably do it normally.'


I remember that shiat, all I could think while reading it was "do these farks not realize the speakers are permanently attached to the farking wall and floor? After reading it I just looked at the manager and asked her if she would like for me to hire the workers to rearrange the speakers in our theater, she called me a wise ass and walked away, the nerve of her!!!

Our district manager sent out a letter later saying that anyone who complains about the sound should just be given a refund and the whole time Im thinking is how I know we have a better sound system than any of these farks at home so if they complain we should just hit them in the head with a hammer and send them on their way.
 
2011-06-27 08:21:29 PM  
BaronBarracuda: Hey, guys! Miss me?

farm5.static.flickr.com

still looks fake
 
2011-06-27 08:21:31 PM  

spacelord321: Begoggle: I'm no fan of Bay and I've never even seen Transformers, but the response letter is pretty douchey.

If you haven't watched at least one of them you shouldn't be giving you're opinion.


Why not? The subject is the projectionists making the movies viewable.
 
2011-06-27 08:24:03 PM  

AClockworkDarko: I understand and agree that Michael Bay makes movies with lots of explosions, little depth, lots of explosions, unrealistic characters and LOTS of explosions. But what else would you expect from a movie about the damn Transformers? I think his style is suited for this franchise... although that's no excuse for how shiatty Transformers 2 was. But hopefully he learned from that mistake and made this one with a slightly less retarded story , slightly less retarded characters and better explosions than the last one.


Let me put it this way.

There's Way a lot more plot in the old Transformers animated movie when they faced against Omnicron, than in the last one.
 
2011-06-27 08:24:53 PM  
Let's just face it: It doesn't matter how much work (or not) the projectionists do for Bay's film. It'll still suck balls.
 
2011-06-27 08:29:32 PM  

Mykeru: davidphogan: The projectionist came across as a smug douche (or a typical Farker), but I haven't gone to a movie in a theater in years, and probably won't bother anytime soon. Between the prices, the audience, the shiat service, etc I can't believe anyone still goes.

I go to hear the narration.

From the douche-bag sitting behind me.


Exactly. Last movie I saw in a theater was Terminator 4, and ended up in front of a blind guy and his friend who narrated it for him. I felt like an asshat when I said something and found out one guy was blind, but if you can't see the movie (especially a Terminator movie) why go to a theater to watch it?

I'll stick to watching movies at home on my big screen. At least I can pause it to take a leak.
 
2011-06-27 08:32:16 PM  

CygnusDarius: AClockworkDarko: I understand and agree that Michael Bay makes movies with lots of explosions, little depth, lots of explosions, unrealistic characters and LOTS of explosions. But what else would you expect from a movie about the damn Transformers? I think his style is suited for this franchise... although that's no excuse for how shiatty Transformers 2 was. But hopefully he learned from that mistake and made this one with a slightly less retarded story , slightly less retarded characters and better explosions than the last one.

Let me put it this way.

There's Way a lot more plot in the old Transformers animated movie when they faced against Omnicron, than in the last one.


files.redux.com

Unicron. His name is Unicron.
 
2011-06-27 08:32:28 PM  

Ambient: Bay isn't the worlds best filmmaker or anything, but he's asking nicely for theater workers to actually appreciate their line of work and make people's movie going experience a good one. Nothing wrong with that. I'm hoping his movie does improve upon 3D at the theater, because done correctly it really could start bringing people back to theaters.


No, good 3D will not bring me back, neither will a good story. All the last will do is get me to rent it from Netflix or wait for it On-Demand, for the former I am sure i'll catch it half way through or something on HBO when I am bored. Movie theaters are no longer a better experience for most people after the cost and the people you have to suffer than their home flat screens and basic sound bar is. There's no point in going for many of us, and it's got nothing to do with a silly gimmicks, find a way to do something new at the movie theater that is worth the money or don't, its that simple, and it'll go the way of theater become a niche market. Don't worry they'll still make a killing in the 'aftermarket' on dvds merchandise and whatever license agreements they share with Netflix. This is a good thing, it means that the consumer is spending less for more, that's the way things are suppose to happen in a healthy society.

The next playing field leveling that will happen when nice 1080 lenses and cameras become cheaper to the point that your average joe can't tell the difference between a red and a med-range cannon, with sound and lighting equipment too. GPU rendering goes fully online (almost already there) with relatively cheap VSE, and Effects software and, as there are already, plenty of cheap and powerful internal and external renders, its only a matter of time before small teams starts pumping out previously heralded "studio quality " works en-mass. Trust me there are hundreds thousands of good actors and actresses willing to do indies for free just so they can slap it on their cv.
 
2011-06-27 08:37:03 PM  

Here let me help you with that: I was a projectionist from 2003-2005. One of the rare times I recall special instructions was Kill Bill vol. 2 with a few strange requests such as cutting a number of feet into the reels rather than x number of frames. This of course was during the buried alive part where every frame was black. Pretty sure there were missplices.


Well, Tarantino does love feet.
 
2011-06-27 08:37:21 PM  

I'm surprised they mentioned AMC Boston Common theatre, the most ghetto theatre in Boston, not that there's a lot of places in the city to see a movie.


One time a lady bought her two young kids to an R rated movie there, and another time a guy in a wheelchair was on his cellphone, talking during the movie. I enjoy seeing movies either in Somerville or in Cambridge, because at least there's less of a chance that someone doing stupid things during the movie.

 
2011-06-27 08:37:59 PM  

mongbiohazard: You guys are like a modern day Sherlock Holmes!


www.liveforfilms.com
 
2011-06-27 08:40:42 PM  

ThisNameSux: It's fake and if it wasn't, the dude who wrote it deserves to be kicked in the balls for being such a dick.


His name is Michael Bay, and he's real. I agree about the balls kicking, though.
 
2011-06-27 08:41:55 PM  

BaronBarracuda: CygnusDarius: AClockworkDarko: I understand and agree that Michael Bay makes movies with lots of explosions, little depth, lots of explosions, unrealistic characters and LOTS of explosions. But what else would you expect from a movie about the damn Transformers? I think his style is suited for this franchise... although that's no excuse for how shiatty Transformers 2 was. But hopefully he learned from that mistake and made this one with a slightly less retarded story , slightly less retarded characters and better explosions than the last one.

Let me put it this way.

There's Way a lot more plot in the old Transformers animated movie when they faced against Omnicron, than in the last one.

Unicron. His name is Unicron.


My whole life is a lie.

i13.mangareader.net
 
2011-06-27 08:42:46 PM  

sip111: average joe can't tell the difference between a red and a med-range cannon


RED shooting 4-5K@120FPS (and it is shooting RAW frames, not H.264 video) has as much in common with a Canon shooting 1080p as an F22 shares with a Cessna.
 
2011-06-27 08:42:56 PM  

Silverstaff: From "Carl Fake", with a 555 telephone number.

Google searches show no "Projectionist Guild of America, East", and very few references to "Carl Fake", and none related to him being in any way affiliated with show business (other than the article in question).

Isn't there supposed to be a picture of a Romulan here, holding an isolinear data rod and shouting something? A still from the DS9 episode "In the Pale Moonlight"? Isn't there?

I could be mistaken, but I think this letter from "Carl Fake" counts.


Or maybe it's a real guy who used a fake name.
 
2011-06-27 08:43:59 PM  
"We are all in this together"

That's why I make billions of dollars per movie, and you make $4.50 an hour. Keep making me look good, and there may be a shiny quarter in it for you. Make me look bad, and you and your whole family will feature in my next on-screen explosion. Do I make myself clear, peasant?
 
2011-06-27 08:44:45 PM  

Heron: FeelsBadMan: I'll stick with 2D, thank you very much. Must 3D films barely have any 3D scenes and the few times there's actual 3D, it's awfully done. For those 3D movies with more than 3 seconds of actual 3D, my eyes just get accustomed to it rather quickly and I don't even notice it.

Anyway, I'm slightly tempted to watch Transformers 3 but the second movie still haunts my memory. I was in Australia at the time and watched it the day it was released. For whatever reason, I was excited to watch the movie and waited an hour in line. Then came forth the greatest cinematic abortion I have been subjected to.

The funny thing is, Hollywood's gone all googly eyed over 3D before and they didn't exactly come out of it well. You'd think someone over there would have remembered.


I saw some crappy 3-d sci-fi movie when I was in jr. high or high school where you could see the studio parking lot in the upper left corner of the shot when the ship was crashing on the "uninhabited planet." Later in the same film, the guy who had been shot on his left side was carried to his ship and the wound mysteriously moved to his right side. Apparently it was better for framing that way. Those are the only details of the film I can remember.
 
2011-06-27 08:44:47 PM  

madgonad: sip111: average joe can't tell the difference between a red and a med-range cannon

RED shooting 4-5K@120FPS (and it is shooting RAW frames, not H.264 video) has as much in common with a Canon shooting 1080p as an F22 shares with a Cessna.


your not alerting me of anything, I am aware of that. The point is, get it to the point where on a normal flat screen in someones house your average joe can't tell the difference and it won't matter if the RED is 10k-15k.
 
2011-06-27 08:45:52 PM  

sip111: The next playing field leveling that will happen when nice 1080 lenses


You know how I know you don't know anything about cameras?
 
Displayed 50 of 298 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report