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(Indie Wire)   Michael Bay writes letter to projectionists for Transformers 3. Projectionist's response letter more snarky and better written than any Bay film in history   (blogs.indiewire.com) divider line 299
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56704 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2011 at 7:17 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-06-27 07:36:53 PM  
fake or not, it's funny.
 
2011-06-27 07:37:32 PM  
Sadly it Michael Bay saying this but wasn't it revealed not long ago that in fact projectionists were miss-balancing the movies and thus they actually WERE mucking up the 3D?

That said, I am over the 3D craze...when I was forced to pay a 10 dollar premium to see Tangled in 3D, well that was the last straw. No more.
 
2011-06-27 07:37:44 PM  
At least he apologized for Revenge of the Fallen. And decry it all you want, it was still a hell of a lot better than Armageddon andPearl Harbor.
 
2011-06-27 07:38:24 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: y'know, maybe if the projectionists could do their goddamn jobs and brighten the screen enough so that it's not a dark, muddled mess of 3D, Bay wouldn't have had to send that memo out.

/goddamn you Bay, for making me agree with you!


If they didn't shoot movies in 2D and then make them into 3D movies later--the process that makes the 3D print too dark to screen clearly--then that wouldn't be an issue in the first place. It's more expensive to shoot a true-3D movie the first time, but the prints are cleaner; but it's faster and cheaper to shoot the 2D and then process it in the lab to make "3D" which requires special projection bulbs and time so you can blame the projectionists for not doing their job; which was why Avatar looked awesome and Trash of the Titans not so much.

Just saying.
 
2011-06-27 07:39:54 PM  
Fake but true. Like the breasts of a stripper.
 
2011-06-27 07:41:39 PM  

Snot Monster from Outer Space: If you Google "Projectionists Guild of America" you get only links to this story. Somehow or other I think Carl might be a genuine Fake.


I'm calling 212-555-8392 just to find out once and for.... goddamnit!
 
2011-06-27 07:42:09 PM  
I don't get it. The film requires different settings than normal, Michael Bay writes a polite letter alerting the projectionists to that fact, and he's the bad guy?

I don't really follow who directs a movie so I have no idea what else Michael Bay has done and have no built up hatred for him, so maybe that's where I'm missing it.
 
2011-06-27 07:43:21 PM  

steamingpile: It always disturbed me that there is a projectionist union, its the easiest farking job in the world yet for some reason they act like its rocket science.


Although I have not "run the projector" since the 8th. grade I am a member of the same union.

It covers all cinematic machines and devices.

That said, I would live to see the letter Kubrick wrote about Barry Lindon.

It must have required groundbreaking skill by the projectionists. And well before most things became automated.
 
2011-06-27 07:43:27 PM  

Gyrfalcon: ...which was why Avatar looked awesome and Trash of the Titans not so much.


Watching Avatar was a bit like attending a graduate symposium on how to correctly use 3D in a movie. I'm not even sure why people bother with that movie in 2D... the plot sucked. Say what you want about Cameron; the dude knows the technical aspects of cinema.

/not really a movie
//more of a theme park ride
 
2011-06-27 07:44:27 PM  
I used to manage a movie theater and while I couldn't call myself a projectionist, I was trained on the equipment by one.
It's a shame how many theaters don't give a damn about keeping their equipment in order. There's nothing quite like paying $12 for a ticket, $15 for snacks watch a movie with crappy sound and bad picture. Most of the time, I'd just rather wait and watch it at home.

\Played Top Gun and Crocodile Dundee for about six months. *shudder*
 
2011-06-27 07:44:38 PM  
COMING TO THEATERS NEAR YOU!

squackle.com

"MICHAEL BAY TAKES A CRAP"
 
2011-06-27 07:44:46 PM  
Brightening up a big steaming pile of poo, it remains a big steaming pile of poo.



Free Carl Fake!
 
2011-06-27 07:45:06 PM  
As a number of posts here have pointed out, the best way to avoid a letter from Michael Bay telling you how to do your job as a projectionist, is to actually have been performing your job as a projectionist in the first place, at least with maintaining the swaps between 2D and 3D.
 
2011-06-27 07:45:17 PM  

BaronBarracuda: At least he apologized for Revenge of the Fallen. And decry it all you want, it was still a hell of a lot better than Armageddon andPearl Harbor.


He did? Personally I think he just needs to go back to the editing room with ROTF. Didn't hate it like everyone else, but there are some "WTF?" moments.

/like going into the National Air and Space Museum and exiting to a airplane bone-yard in god knows where
//I never liked the love-story either
///still going to see DOTM regardless
 
2011-06-27 07:46:21 PM  
Sorry - *an*.
 
2011-06-27 07:47:03 PM  

downstairs: Nogrhi: Hmmm, from 'Carl Fake'..... not sure I am buying this. It was honest and true, but was it real?

Well, he doesn't out where he works- only makes mention of his friend's working location, which could be different. Probably doesn't want to get fired.



Really guys, you think it's fake? Really? Wow. No effin' way. Color me shocked.

You guys are like a modern day Sherlock Holmes! Why are you wasting your time on the interwebs when there are mysteries to unlock, unsolved crimes to solve, Old Man McFarmers' to pull the rubber masks off of - unveiling their complicated real estate scams just in time so you can finally go get baked with your friends and your dog in your van! Go! Go forth and bless this land with your gifts! Go and let nothing be able to hide for long from the cold gaze of your keen instincts and nearly inhuman deductive reasoning skills!
 
2011-06-27 07:47:06 PM  

steamingpile: It always disturbed me that there is a projectionist union, its the easiest farking job in the world yet for some reason they act like its rocket science.


This is the first I ever heard of such a thing. I just figured it was part of the rotation of jobs that a movie theater employee had to do: ticket taker, popcorn scooper, projectionist, etc. I assumed they drew straws every night to figure out who did what.

There's not a popcorn scooper union is there?
 
2011-06-27 07:47:48 PM  
The shiattiness of the character development has nothing to do with the relative brightness of the projection. I'd be happy to watch a movie based on 1 dimensional stick figures if I gave a shiat about the characters.
 
2011-06-27 07:47:57 PM  
Any projectionist who gets snotty about this should be fired on the spot. I'm paying a ridiculous amount of money for a crappy movie. At least run it bright enough that I can see it. If you were doing your job right, nobody would be telling you how to do your job, right?
 
2011-06-27 07:48:14 PM  

BobNesta420: steamingpile: It always disturbed me that there is a projectionist union, its the easiest farking job in the world yet for some reason they act like its rocket science.

This is the first I ever heard of such a thing. I just figured it was part of the rotation of jobs that a movie theater employee had to do: ticket taker, popcorn scooper, projectionist, etc. I assumed they drew straws every night to figure out who did what.

There's not a popcorn scooper union is there?



First rule of the Popcorn Scooper Union is you don't talk about the Popcorn Scooper Union. Ever.
 
2011-06-27 07:48:52 PM  

Quasar: Dear Projectionists,

We worked hard to include as many explosions as possible in our latest film. As we all know in the industry, the quality of the film correlates directly with the number of explosions. For a better viewing experience, we ask that you set off some firecrackers in front of the projector during the full course of the film, so as to add more explosions where previously we were, for financial or safety reasons, unable to include them.

We're all in this together.

Explosively,
Michael Bay


Dear Projectionists,

I have to say that I'm very proud of all the cast and crew of 'Super 8'. This is definitely a joint love story to the creativity of childhood, and nowhere in the movie is that love more shown than in the lens flares. Each and every lens flare in 'Super 8' has been designed for both maximum cinematic impact and number of audience members blinded. To ensure 'Super 8' lives up to it's full blinding potential, please make sure that you follow the lighting adjustments to your theaters outlined in the memo included with your 'Super 8' reels. Thanks.

Glaringly Yours,

J.J. Abrams

/still the best movie you'll see this year
//once you regain your sight after that first lens flare, that is.
 
2011-06-27 07:49:18 PM  

strife: BaronBarracuda: At least he apologized for Revenge of the Fallen. And decry it all you want, it was still a hell of a lot better than Armageddon andPearl Harbor.

He did? Personally I think he just needs to go back to the editing room with ROTF. Didn't hate it like everyone else, but there are some "WTF?" moments.

/like going into the National Air and Space Museum and exiting to a airplane bone-yard in god knows where
//I never liked the love-story either
///still going to see DOTM regardless


It's the only film that I know for a fact I tuned out of. I know I was awake, I know I was watching it, but I can't for the life of me tell you what happened between the robot's balls scene and the closing credits.
 
2011-06-27 07:49:24 PM  

strife: He did? Personally I think he just needs to go back to the editing room with ROTF. Didn't hate it like everyone else, but there are some "WTF?" moments.


Personally I think he should re-edit (and maybe re film) the Merchant/Ivory film "Room With a View".
 
2011-06-27 07:50:06 PM  
There's either no Projectionist Guild of America, or they have a really crappy web presence that doesn't show up on google.

/in before Fight Club?
 
2011-06-27 07:50:22 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: y'know, maybe if the projectionists could do their goddamn jobs and brighten the screen enough so that it's not a dark, muddled mess of 3D, Bay wouldn't have had to send that memo out.

/goddamn you Bay, for making me agree with you!


For a Dumb-Ass-Monkey, you make a lot of sense.

I would like to sign up for your newsletter. Is it banana scented?

/Toy Story 3, Despicable Me, neither available in 2D in my area, both terrible to watch due to dimness
//2D slashies
 
2011-06-27 07:50:24 PM  
Here's a synopsis of most of the movies filmed by Michael Bay:

Explosive intro!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
2-minute over dramatic bio of patriotic character
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
5-minutes of the American Flag flying true in the sky
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosive ending!
Credits with Knickleback song!
 
2011-06-27 07:50:36 PM  
Gyrfalcon: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: y'know, maybe if the projectionists could do their goddamn jobs and brighten the screen enough so that it's not a dark, muddled mess of 3D, Bay wouldn't have had to send that memo out.

/goddamn you Bay, for making me agree with you!

If they didn't shoot movies in 2D and then make them into 3D movies later--the process that makes the 3D print too dark to screen clearly--then that wouldn't be an issue in the first place. It's more expensive to shoot a true-3D movie the first time, but the prints are cleaner; but it's faster and cheaper to shoot the 2D and then process it in the lab to make "3D" which requires special projection bulbs and time so you can blame the projectionists for not doing their job; which was why Avatar looked awesome and Trash of the Titans not so much.

Just saying.


You don't seem to understand how they do 3D. Because what you just said is totally made up.
 
2011-06-27 07:50:57 PM  
I never thought I'd say this, but Michael Bay is right and knows more about films than you.
 
2011-06-27 07:51:01 PM  

floor: strife: He did? Personally I think he just needs to go back to the editing room with ROTF. Didn't hate it like everyone else, but there are some "WTF?" moments.

Personally I think he should re-edit (and maybe re film) the Merchant/Ivory film "Room With a View".



There is no "Ka-boom" in that film. Bay wouldn't know what to do with himself.
 
2011-06-27 07:51:58 PM  
It's funny to see Fark come out to white knight a hack like Bay.

Transformers are real to me!!
 
2011-06-27 07:52:29 PM  

Shirley Ujest: First rule of the Popcorn Scooper Union is you don't talk about the Popcorn Scooper Union. Ever.




www.moviequotesandmore.com

"A nice big cock"
 
2011-06-27 07:52:51 PM  

FeelsBadMan: I'll stick with 2D, thank you very much. Must 3D films barely have any 3D scenes and the few times there's actual 3D, it's awfully done. For those 3D movies with more than 3 seconds of actual 3D, my eyes just get accustomed to it rather quickly and I don't even notice it.

Anyway, I'm slightly tempted to watch Transformers 3 but the second movie still haunts my memory. I was in Australia at the time and watched it the day it was released. For whatever reason, I was excited to watch the movie and waited an hour in line. Then came forth the greatest cinematic abortion I have been subjected to.


The funny thing is, Hollywood's gone all googly eyed over 3D before and they didn't exactly come out of it well. You'd think someone over there would have remembered.
 
2011-06-27 07:53:07 PM  
I'm not seeing any white knighting Bay. I'm seeing "Bay buttraped us all with the second transformers', but maybe you missed that part.
 
2011-06-27 07:53:20 PM  
CygnusDarius: Explosive intro!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
2-minute over dramatic bio of patriotic character
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
5-minutes of the American Flag flying true in the sky
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosive ending!
Credits with Knickleback song!


needs more helicopters
 
2011-06-27 07:53:28 PM  

CygnusDarius: Here's a synopsis of most of the movies filmed by Michael Bay:

Explosive intro!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
2-minute over dramatic bio of patriotic character
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
5-minutes of the American Flag flying true in the sky
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosions!
Explosive ending!
Credits with Knickleback song!


You forgot boobs.
 
2011-06-27 07:53:37 PM  

Zombie DJ: Things that are old:
Headlines with "wait, what?", "You've already clicked the link haven't you?" and "Michael Bay sucks."

Criminy, man up and take the stick out of your nerdy, basement dwelling butt. "Wagh! I didn't like Transformers 2.".
Get over it. You weren't going to do anything special with those 2 hours anyway.


Wow. White-knighting for Michael Bay.

Tell me, just how pathetic is your life, that it's come to this?

/he's not going to blow you up
 
2011-06-27 07:53:49 PM  
I used to hate Michael Bay but now I just don't watch his movies. It's really not worth the effort to beat a dead horse. If you want to go to a movie and have someone figuratively masturbate onto your face, go right ahead.
 
2011-06-27 07:54:45 PM  
Also, to be very honest, videogames have employed 3D a whole lot better than movies. So there's that.

A last bit: Who's the better director: Michael Bay, JJ Abrahams, or Uwe Boll?.
 
2011-06-27 07:54:59 PM  

ThisNameSux: It's fake and if it wasn't, the dude who wrote it deserves to be kicked in the balls for being such a dick.


If I meet Michael Bay on the street I'll be sure to do that for you.

...wait, are you talking about Bay's letter or the reply?
=Smidge=
 
2011-06-27 07:55:30 PM  

strife: BaronBarracuda: At least he apologized for Revenge of the Fallen. And decry it all you want, it was still a hell of a lot better than Armageddon andPearl Harbor.

He did? Personally I think he just needs to go back to the editing room with ROTF. Didn't hate it like everyone else, but there are some "WTF?" moments.

/like going into the National Air and Space Museum and exiting to a airplane bone-yard in god knows where
//I never liked the love-story either
///still going to see DOTM regardless


Both he and Shia apologized.

I agree, there was a bit of tightening-up the movie could have used, as well as some things put in (or back in) to help explain things (the explanation of "Alice" especially, I'm getting tired of explaining the Pretenders and where Alice got her alt-mode from. Film-makers really need to stop cutting out important explanation scenes). Overall RotF was a misstep, but I still found it fun in the "mindless explosions and action" way.

Also going to see DotM, the trailer was too awesome to resist.
 
2011-06-27 07:55:35 PM  

FeelsBadMan: I'll stick with 2D, thank you very much. Must 3D films barely have any 3D scenes and the few times there's actual 3D, it's awfully done. For those 3D movies with more than 3 seconds of actual 3D, my eyes just get accustomed to it rather quickly and I don't even notice it.

 
2011-06-27 07:55:35 PM  

Rufus Lee King:


Wintereenmas?
 
2011-06-27 07:55:50 PM  
Michael Bay may be kind of a douche (for the record i liked the first transformers, and the rock and bad boys were awesome), but his requests seem reasonable.

And if a movie is shot in 3d, ill see it in 3d. So far thats only been Avatar and Tron. If its a conversion, ill see the 2d version.

But brightness IS a big problem, due to a combination of laziness, incompetence and cost cutting of which theater owners AND projectionists are both to blame. I really need to invest in a bigger tv and a blu ray player. We dont go to all that many movies, we usually wait for the DVDs, but big budget action films are meant to be seen on a giant screen, and unfortunately the theatergoing experience sucks for a multitude of reasons, screen brightness being, increasingly commonly, one of them. .
 
2011-06-27 07:56:14 PM  

Lsherm: Hand to God, I saw "Super 8" last weekend at a matinee and the screen was so dark you couldn't see anything unless the scene itself was brightly lit. It wasn't in 3D, it was just farking dark. So for the first time in 30 years of going to see movies, I went outside and raised holy hell about it.

I don't know what they did, but the film stopped for a few moments and when it came back on it was like someone had added an extra bulb to the projector. The screen just farking popped.

So in Mr. Bay's defense, I think some projectionists flat out don't give a shiat what they're serving to you until you call them on it.


They took the 3d lens off the projector and put the proper 2d lens on.

This is becoming a real issue in theaters and you SHOULD say something about it. No one should pay 9 bucks to watch a movie with the wrong type of lens on the projector. You can tell by looking at the light coming from the projector. If you see two beams, then they have the 3d lens on and it will greatly reduce the quality of a 2d film.
 
2011-06-27 07:57:14 PM  

BobNesta420: There's not a popcorn scooper union is there?


that is completely unfair and insensitive of you; there's an art to popcorn scooping. If you put too much, the popcorn falls out of the bucket. If you put too little, you're stealing from the customer. You have to do exactly the right amount.
 
2011-06-27 07:57:37 PM  

Heron: The funny thing is, Hollywood's gone all googly eyed over 3D before and they didn't exactly come out of it well. You'd think someone over there would have remembered.


I see what you did there.
 
2011-06-27 07:57:39 PM  
As much as I agree with the PjGA response and loved his letter, Michael Bay is farking right. I'm tired of going to the farking theater and 9 times out of 10 having to strain my eyes to see what the fark is going on because the farking projector is too dimly lit. How do I find out where these 6-foot Platinum projectors are?
 
2011-06-27 07:59:01 PM  
All I want is a great projection, a drink, maybe some popcorn and a lovely seat in the house. I must be a dying breed because I absolutely must see movies in the theater. I can't stand watching them at home, I get distracted or something else. There's still something about going to a giant room, have the lights turn down, and see an image the size of a building.

Of course it helps that I always have friday's off and go see the 12:30pm matinee while everyone's in school.
 
2011-06-27 07:59:06 PM  

LeafyGreens: It's funny to see Fark come out to white knight a hack like Bay.

Transformers are real to me!!


HeartBurnKid: Zombie DJ: Things that are old:
Headlines with "wait, what?", "You've already clicked the link haven't you?" and "Michael Bay sucks."

Criminy, man up and take the stick out of your nerdy, basement dwelling butt. "Wagh! I didn't like Transformers 2.".
Get over it. You weren't going to do anything special with those 2 hours anyway.

Wow. White-knighting for Michael Bay.

Tell me, just how pathetic is your life, that it's come to this?

/he's not going to blow you up


Calm down, children. Not jumping on the mindless hate wagon =/= "white-knighting". Let's not the play the "If you're not with us, THEN YOU'RE AGAINST US!" card.
 
2011-06-27 07:59:34 PM  
I was a projectionist from 2003-2005. One of the rare times I recall special instructions was Kill Bill vol. 2 with a few strange requests such as cutting a number of feet into the reels rather than x number of frames. This of course was during the buried alive part where every frame was black. Pretty sure there were missplices.
 
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