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(Some Guy)   "The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech"   ( ) divider line
    More: Asinine, United States of America, Landover Baptist Shutdown, internet, christians, Christian nation, Landover Baptist, secular, DNS  
•       •       •

19586 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2011 at 9:43 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

244 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

2011-06-27 01:47:11 AM  
Hi guys, while you're raging about this very new and very serious site, save a little bit of anger for these terrible people (new window) who squeeze kittens into jars, which is also very new and very real.

And you can take your rage out in this very new way (new window).

Sorry if that is not enough, but this post is
2011-06-27 01:51:26 AM  
Generation_D 2011-06-26 08:47:44 PM

My goodness little man, did your caps lock get stuck? Perhaps your mommy can fix it?
2011-06-27 01:56:48 AM  

WeenerGord: So what's his Fark handle?

/It's Tatsuma, isn't it?

I was thinking Kerpal.
2011-06-27 02:17:18 AM  

Unda: The 4Kidz section is the best, though.

2011-06-27 02:17:29 AM  
In the event that you weren't aware, or had forgotten, the "over 21 only" warning should have caused some suspicion that Landover Baptist Church might be satirical.
2011-06-27 03:34:00 AM  
Not "fake," just parody. Just like LBC. And the Onion. It has been around for-evah.
2011-06-27 03:37:08 AM  

styckx: Wow. There is like a perpetual troll happening here.

The original clickers were trolled (me included), comments pointing out that we were trolled, and pointing out it's satire. Link goes green, liters click, get trolled, skip comments, post comment that shows they were trolled, then get the pleasure of then reading the comments to find out they were told it was a trolling satire site but still got trolled anyway.

2011-06-27 04:05:22 AM  

steamingpile: I am wondering how many fark admins it takes to actually think this is funny before green lighting stupid links like this? Or is it how many people bite on thinking its real?

It conforms to most Farkers' stereotype of Christianity and religion in general, so they eat it up. Righteous indignation makes for great page refresh advertisement revenue.
2011-06-27 04:27:02 AM  
That's so dumb. Everyone knows the internet was created by Al Whore.
2011-06-27 05:00:51 AM  
I'm going to speculate that the people who run OBJECTIVE: Ministries and Landover Baptist are the same people. Seems to have hooked a few here though so 8/10.
2011-06-27 05:45:15 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: X-boxershorts: Fark_Guy_Rob: X-boxershorts: My graduate thesis disagrees with the trolmitters premise that AMURRIKA (fukyeah) developed the intertubeywebbythingy with no one else's input.

The Canadians, Frenchies, Swiss et all..would like a word with you son.

No single country had even a fraction of the impact on the current face of the internet as the United States.

Yes, other countries were involved.

Umm, the Canadiens would like a word with you son. After the Frenchies are done with you.

ATM ..the concept of circuit overhead is completely French,

T1's, OC's DS3 ATM would never have ever happened without the french concept of allowing circuit overhead and keepalives.

Funny - I thought Bell Labs were credited with the creation of the T1

Bell Labs designed "carrier systems" - technology that would aggregate (merge together) multiple voice channels on one trunk line without degrading quality of signal. Being logical they labeled their first carrier system "A" and by 1917 the first cable that ran four channels over an open wire pair was in use.

Fast forward to 1957 by which point Bell Labs had gone through so many "carrier systems" they were up to the letter "T" in the alphabet. (The previous carrier system was in fact "N" but they skipped the letters O, P, Q, R and S to jump straight to "T" because, as we shall see, it was also the first letter of a new digital signal technology based on "Time Division".)

The concept and implementation of the reservation of a portion of the circuit for circuit overhead and control signaling is entirely French. Without which, none of the aforementioned circuit types would be possible.
2011-06-27 06:02:22 AM  
If you are not delusional or paranoid leave america now. The place is full of crazies.
2011-06-27 07:01:00 AM

The words "fish" and "barrel" come to mind.
2011-06-27 07:25:08 AM

2011-06-27 07:55:39 AM  

Nyet zhirafov: Did anyone venture into the "4 KIDZ" part of their website? I'm laughing my ass off.

Same here.

Did you notice you can't remove Lambuel's underpants in the "dress up Lambuel" section?
2011-06-27 08:00:30 AM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: /Worst. Site. Ever.

2011-06-27 08:03:45 AM  


You know this site is a parody/trollsite, right? Or are you doing some wacky postmodern countertroll trolling?
2011-06-27 08:27:14 AM  

Mykeru: angelwolf65: Fark has been trolled! These are the same guys responsble for Landover Baptist Church! It's a fake site.

Yeah, but you have to give people a little slack. As Poe's Law states, without context it's almost impossible to tell the difference between a parody of religious fundamentalism and real religious fundamentalism.

Landover is funny, but not half as funny as the sort of brain shriveling crap that came out of the the mouths of people like Falwell and Robertson on a daily basis.

And a Creationist like Ray Comfort is really the most amazingly meta parody of himself. Really, watch Ray in action and try to wrap your brain around the fact that he's totally serious.

that dude is all kinds of crazy.
2011-06-27 08:38:08 AM  

Fista-Phobia: Mykeru: Poe....and we aint talking about the guy who wrote "The Raven".

Well she chose to sign with Sony records. Smooth move ex-lax.

Why do you gotta be such a dick?
2011-06-27 08:52:36 AM  
While, like a lot of weird sht we see on the internet, I'd like to believe that this is someone's weird art project, I... I just don't know. There is so much truthiness here. It just feels genuine.

Remember, people who believe in fairytales are, by definition, a little crazy. This is not outside the realm of normal for them.

I will now try to drink past my sadness for this country.
2011-06-27 09:15:37 AM  

huntertom: // An oldie but a good one

An Odin but a good 'un.
2011-06-27 09:26:09 AM  

RminusQ: I mean, real Christian psychos don't even tolerate Christian rock, because it's too secular a 4/4 beat with a backbeat is based in voodoo music.

FTFY with an explanation for why Christian rock is evil that I really got from a book on the subject when my crazy mother took me to a big Southern Baptist event.

Also evil:

1. Making any decision without praying to Jesus about it extensively, preferably with fasting.
2. Meditation - attempting to achieve "no-thought" means not thinking about Jesus.
3. Martial arts - Performing kata invokes a meditative state of mind. Also, chi is evil and martial arts can't be performed without it.
4. Not tithing.
5. Reading any Bible except for the King James version. 17th century English was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for you.

The book had many, many illustrations based around the theme of Satan building strongholds in your soul via doorways you leave in it through secular activities.
2011-06-27 09:35:20 AM  

Modified Cornstarch: This is dangerously close to dividing by zero.
All that's left is to troll the troll that's trolling the trolled troll.

Yo, dawg, I heard you liked trolling.
2011-06-27 09:58:16 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Fista-Phobia: Mykeru: Poe....and we aint talking about the guy who wrote "The Raven".

Well she chose to sign with Sony records. Smooth move ex-lax.

Why do you gotta be such a dick?

2011-06-27 10:32:18 AM  

styckx: What the fark am I looking at? Intrigued with the pic of the pedo looking fella up in the corner I ventured into their members list.

Kyle started out hating Christians. He listened to anti-Christian music, played violent video games, and created a website attacking various Christian organizations while praising the work of . Kyle was a troubled boy. However, this all changed when he found Jesus. Since then he has gotten himself cleaned up, has started listening to Christian rock, and is now a respectable looking young lad. His parents - being Jewish - were hesitant to accept his new found faith, but they do consider it better that Kyle is now following Jesus instead of Marilyn Manson. Kyle has recently graduated from Fellowship Christian High School and is now attending Fellowship University. When not studying, he helps maintain our web site.

How convenient all his former issues revolved around violent video games, Marilyn Manson and an Atheist.

2011-06-27 10:34:26 AM  
GOLD! (new window)

1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life"

Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.

2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"

Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

Honorable Mention:

"Mousetrap Reduced To Pile Of Functionless Parts" - Kevin Parker (grade 7)
"Dinosaur & Man Walked Together" - Donny Findlay (grade 6)
"Rocks Can't Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?" - Anna Reed (grade 6)
2011-06-27 10:38:51 AM  
This is for all the people in the thread saying "OMG U GOT TROLLED BY TROLLS TROLOLO":
2011-06-27 10:43:33 AM  
The best thing on is the reader mail.
2011-06-27 11:09:59 AM  

Cpl.D: But I can tell you the author is Junji Ito, and it's called "Cat Diary: Yon & Muu"

He also created the horror comics Uzumaki, Tomie, Gyo, and this little mindfark.
2011-06-27 11:22:57 AM  

SnakeLee: Jesus Christ that is a stupid goddamn website

With a name like "", I suspect these people worship Ayn Rand rather than Jesus Christ. Just sayin'...
2011-06-27 11:25:07 AM  
.org, not .com

I suspect that's a distinction without a difference, though.
2011-06-27 11:33:01 AM  
Landover Baptist is run by an organization that calls itself - no doubt in gleeful mockery of Our Lord - Americhrist Ltd. Its leader is a shadowy figure named Chris Harper who apparently has a history of anti-Christian bigotry. Although Landover Baptist claims to own vast properties and have thousands of members, in reality it exists only on the Internet and it's membership is quite small.

Their modus operandi is simple: post articles that take good Christian values and twist them - beyond recognition - such that they look arrogant, hateful, or just idiotic. To this they add a continuous mockery of The Lord and Salvation, such as portraying Jesus Christ as the captain of a decadent cruise ship or offering a free cellphone as a reward for those who become saved - demeaning the value of Salvation to that of some material trinket! other words like most farkers.
2011-06-27 11:37:29 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Cpl.D: But I can tell you the author is Junji Ito, and it's called "Cat Diary: Yon & Muu"

He also created the horror comics Uzumaki, Tomie, Gyo, and this little mindfark.

OMG YES. I've been looking for that one too! I'm showing it to my friends for teh lulz, to see how they react. Thanks for that!
2011-06-27 11:42:00 AM  

I don't know which website has more win. Americhrist or Landover Baptist.

*wipes tears away*

Stoopit people are funny.
2011-06-27 11:44:44 AM  

propasaurus: Any message you read claiming to be from Jim Carlson or any other OBJECTIVE: Ministries member that contains vulgarities, sexual innuendo, bad poetry, or other un-Christian sentiments is to be considered a FRAUD and ignored.


I know.

Hysterical stuff. I can't help but lauuuuuuuugh.
2011-06-27 11:48:15 AM
2011-06-27 11:52:40 AM
2011-06-27 01:29:53 PM  
Psh, screw Bevets, you got me now.
2011-06-27 05:41:40 PM  

WeenerGord: So what's his Fark handle?

/It's Tatsuma, isn't it?

I rofled. A long time ago, me and Tatsuma got into it, and I never forgot his handle, lol.
2011-06-27 06:20:49 PM  

jso2897: DavidVincent: opinions are like assholes.....

You lose control of them in your old age.

ha! +1
2011-06-27 07:20:59 PM  

Unda: Maybe you missed that this site, while it is a satire site, is not landover baptist, but a site claiming to want to shut down Landover (among many other things).

The 4Kidz section is the best, though.

You're right, I did miss that.

/wipes egg off face.
2011-06-27 07:52:19 PM  

turbidum: I'd forgotten all about this site. The 4Kidz section is funny as hell. Pretty damn good example of Poe's Law in play.

"Hey, Habu...[a Hindu elephant]
How many gods do you have?

I don't know. . . I lost count!

Wouldn't you rather have just one God who loves you a bunch than a bunch of gods that don't love you at all?"

/bonus points for light-up mouse-over bindi

Yes, and what about this gem:

Spiritual Safety Tip

What should you do if you find an Atheist?

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,

You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however

Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

2011-06-27 09:57:17 PM  

Actually, no, the first four nodes of ARPANET were university mainframes.
2011-06-27 11:22:23 PM  
Ok, I just got done reading this whole site. I was VERY bothered by it. But, upon further introspection, I have come to the conclusion that it might not be as sincere as it leads itself on to be. Just a hunch as of right now, of course.
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