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(Some Guy)   "The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech"   (objectiveministries.org) divider line 252
    More: Asinine, United States of America, Landover Baptist Shutdown, internet, christians, Christian nation, Landover Baptist, secular, DNS  
•       •       •

19577 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jun 2011 at 9:43 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



252 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-06-26 11:08:19 PM  
Wow. There is like a perpetual troll happening here.

The original clickers were trolled (me included), comments pointing out that we were trolled, and pointing out it's satire. Link goes green, liters click, get trolled, skip comments, post comment that shows they were trolled, then get the pleasure of then reading the comments to find out they were told it was a trolling satire site but still got trolled anyway.
 
2011-06-26 11:08:46 PM  

omegazeto: What's it called, so I can love the rest of it?


From tineye, this might help (possible NSFW)

Link

Link
 
2011-06-26 11:12:00 PM  
I spotted this as fake at the "bad poetry".
 
2011-06-26 11:12:09 PM  
From the FAQ section in that abomination of a website:

"Wasn't the Internet invented by Tim Berners-Lee, a British man, not by Americans?

The Internet: An American invention built on Faith.
This is a common myth born out of misunderstanding of what the Internet is (as well as Secularist European propaganda).

Tim Berners-Lee did not invent the Internet. He invented (or rather, claimed to invent) the "World Wide Web", an application that runs on top of the Internet, much as e-mail and Gopher do. However, Berners-Lee only created a very limited, ad hoc imitation (a crude sketch, really) of the more elaborate vision of an American, Ted Nelson, who coined the term "hypertext" as part of Project Xanadu, which was founded in 1960, when Berners-Lee was only 5 years old and 30 years before the WWW.

But Nelson -- being a professed Atheist and therefore unguided by a sense morality -- stole his ideas from another American, Vannevar Bush, who in a 1945 Atlantic article titled "As We May Think" posited a "memory extender" (or "memex"), a device that would allow access to a vast library of information with the ability to add notes and follow trails of links. In other words, what the Web became after American companies like America Online, Netscape, and Microsoft expanded on Berners-Lee's primitive protocol. (The choice of Berners-Lee's over-simplified Web protocol over the more advanced, true hypertext of Nelson had more to do with European academic political machinations from CERN than with either originality or worth.)

As the true founder of the Web, Bush cautioned against the sort of "information wants to be free" egotism that is now common on the Internet, thanks to anti-Christians such as Landover's Chris Harper. Instead, Bush saw Faith as central to his vision of the Internet:

"The course of history is determined by the faith that men are guided by. If they misread the lessons of expanding knowledge and in their brazen egotism believe that all things are known or knowable, then they will see nothing but an endlessly repeating pattern of sordid strife, the ascendancy of ruthlessness and cunning, man damned to exist a little time on an earth where there is nothing higher than to seize and kill and dominate. If they see beyond this they will see by faith, and not by reading instruments or combining numbers. They may look beyond by religious faith, or they may look merely because they feel validity in the heart's desire and conviction that good will is not a delusion. If they have faith they will build, and they will grow strong that their buildings may endure."
The Internet itself, which the Web operates on top of, arose out of research done under the auspices of ARPA (now known as DARPA, a US military research funding program) during the 1950-80s in the United States of America by loyal Americans fighting the Cold War (our own Jack Holgroth played an important role in introducing research from the field of Game Theory to packet-switching network protocols). The Internet was originally called ARPANET and the first four nodes in 1969 were at UCLA, Stanford, the University of Utah, and UC Santa Barbara -- all locations in the United States. Eventually foreign sites were allowed to connect, arguably a lapse in judgement.

So, as can be seen, the Internet is a thoroughly American invention (even taking into consideration the common confusion between the Web and the Internet) with its foundations in Faith. Without the initiative of patriotic Christian Americans, the Internet (and the Web) would not exist today. The world owes us its thanks.

You're welcome."


Wow. Just ... wow.
 
2011-06-26 11:14:34 PM  

omegazeto: Thanks for the hint words to use (like "horror style cat manga")!


Or you could have just looked at the filename for the pic.
 
KNW
2011-06-26 11:14:41 PM  
I read the first couple posts, and I'm not gonna read the rest. Anyone who doesn't know that Landover Baptist is a parody site deserves whatever happens to them.
 
2011-06-26 11:18:00 PM  
i181.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-26 11:18:23 PM  

propasaurus: Any message you read claiming to be from Jim Carlson or any other OBJECTIVE: Ministries member that contains vulgarities, sexual innuendo, bad poetry, or other un-Christian sentiments is to be considered a FRAUD and ignored.

wut?


"O freddled gruntbuggly thy micturations are to me
As plured gabbleblochits on a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurlecruncheon, see if I don't."
 
2011-06-26 11:21:31 PM  
Poe....and we aint talking about the guy who wrote "The Raven".
 
2011-06-26 11:28:16 PM  
i190.photobucket.com

// An oldie but a good one
 
2011-06-26 11:30:04 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYCsrhJPIfY
 
2011-06-26 11:31:07 PM  
When christians keep killing people in the world(for a millennium at least) who refuse to convert to christianity, I'm going to point it out, since it is the truth you crazy motherfarking cult followers. And I won't forget you either, you crazy fatherfarking cult followers.


///From an update yesterday:::: Another gay person has just hit the south tower. I repeat another gay person has just hit the south tower.
////more blue states are banning sex with animals, so whats your excuse in the red state bible belts? Hmmmm.
 
2011-06-26 11:34:16 PM  
とにかく氏ね
 
2011-06-26 11:37:11 PM  
I think it's a fake. And a failed attempt to create 'drama' by Landover Baptist.
 
2011-06-26 11:38:48 PM  
I feel a nip in the air.
 
2011-06-26 11:40:15 PM  
...right then.
 
2011-06-26 11:41:14 PM  

CygnusDarius: I think it's a fake. And a failed attempt to create 'drama' by Landover Baptist.


farm6.static.flickr.com
 
2011-06-26 11:41:25 PM  
Please try harder subby. I love ridiculous religious nut threads too. There is a lot of real religious nuts out there to choose from. Please try harder.
 
2011-06-26 11:41:59 PM  
What the fark am I reading?
 
2011-06-26 11:45:44 PM  
That's some timecubey shiat right there.

/You can try and mask the taste with Kool-Aid douchey
 
2011-06-26 11:48:10 PM  

Mykeru: Poe....and we aint talking about the guy who wrote "The Raven".


Well she chose to sign with Sony records. Smooth move ex-lax.
 
2011-06-26 11:50:00 PM  
Here:

May 10, 2007
Poe's Law and the Search for Kerygmatic Efficacy

Firstly, I must apologize for not updating this journal in quite a while. I have been engrossed in both my ministerial duties and working on my book, From Deluge to Dort: How Infralapsarianism Doomed the Dinosaur, and haven't found the time to keep up with the fast-paced, always-something-new demands of the Internet. However, my wife, Peggy, who is quite the Internet aficionado, has been prodding me to get more into this whole "World Wide Web logging" thing -- she says that "web logs" will one day replace more traditional forms of publishing, including theological journals! -- so I have put aside some time today to briefly address an issue of great concern among academic theologians that needs to be shared with those out in the field working to spread the gospel: evangelistic inefficiency.

In his 1996 book The Gospel and Its Meaning: A Theology for Evangelism and Church Growth, Dr. Harry Lee Poe, the Charles Colson Professor of Faith and Culture at Union University in Jackson, Tennessee, sought an integrative evangelism that is concinnate with temporal/cultural setting while avoiding the syncretism of a relativistic or pluralistic eisegesis that would undermine the gospel.

To frame the need for a new evangelistic approach, Dr. Poe explained in his preface the problem he saw in the Church in the last century -- one which is still prevalent today:

Christians have a tendency to proclaim the gospel from the perspective of their own spiritual issues rather than to the perspective of their audience. Furthermore, Christians tend to speak of the gospel in terms of the aspect of the gospel that means the most to them, rather than in terms of the aspect of the gospel that might offer the most good news to another person. This habit creates the oft observed situation in which the church answers questions people are not asking.
What Dr. Poe recognized as the solution to this problem has become informally known in theological circles as Poe's Law, which states that: elements of the gospel speak to different levels of spiritual concern in different cultures at different times. For example, at certain times and in certain places, the Passion of the Christ speaks most meaningfully to people; whereas, at other times and places, it is the Resurrection that most effectively addresses people's spiritual needs. Knowing which aspect best speaks to the times and locality can mean the difference between mere metamelomai and true metanoic rebirth.

Thus, Poe's Law informs us that we must be mindful of the sociocultural context in which the good news is delivered. Through this mindfulness, a properly balanced gospel emphasis can be created -- or, to use the jargon, the most soteric kerygma modality can be employed -- so as to maximize spiritual resonance within the souls of the audience. As always, the Lord has foreseen this need and has given us a gospel rich with kerygmatic potential: there's a part of the gospel that will open the heart of anyone, and it's the bailiwick of the modern pastor or missiological technician to find it.

In the guidance that I have given to OBJECTIVE: Ministries and the various outreach organizations that operate under the Fellowship aegis, I have always kept Poe's Law in mind. We must listen to the concerns of the unsaved so that we may find in them the key to winning them over to Christ through effective use of the gospel. In particular, Mrs. Tullar's Mall Mission and Pastor Hoskins' Youth Rock Ministry have both benefited from Dr. Poe's crucial insight and have found many ways to incorporate a gospel targeted to their varied audiences.

In our increasingly fragmented and globalized twenty-first century society, it is vital we develop evangelical forms that can be adapted to varied spiritual needs while not undermining the soteriological foundation of the gospel. I would urge missionaries of all levels to study Dr. Poe's work in this field and remember to remember your audience.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-06-26 11:55:30 PM  
Indeed. I see your wager and raise:

It is for this reason that we implore visitors to our site to not forsake the Baby Jesus. For without His Cooing Grace to Humanize the Awesome Infinitude of God's Love, those on the verge of accepting Jesus into their hearts may become confused and disoriented -- experiencing a sort of Agapic vertigo -- and fall prey to the many Internet predators working for Satan who seek to lead them astray. Many a potential Saved person has been lost for lack of proper focus on the Baby Jesus.
 
2011-06-26 11:59:18 PM  
That website made me gay. I knew it was a BS site when I went to the 4kidz section.
 
2011-06-27 12:00:06 AM  

WeenerGord: So what's his Fark handle?



/It's Tatsuma, isn't it?


Did they mock the limey chick that got bulldozed? No? Probably not Tats

/wait for it...
 
2011-06-27 12:02:45 AM  

Fjornir: Satire tag taking a vacation or something?


Haven't seen the Satire tag in ages. I don't think we do that here anymore. It's too much fun to see who bites to spoil it with the tag.
 
2011-06-27 12:03:20 AM  
Fark has been trolled! These are the same guys responsble for Landover Baptist Church! It's a fake site.
 
2011-06-27 12:05:01 AM  
I have but one request.Don't judge all of us by the cracked pots that spew forth the garbage you hear on a daily basis. I hope the majority of Christians are offended by the trash that idiots like this group scream to the world. Saved that I am,I harbor very un-Christian ideas on how to Fark up people like him.But I'll let God handle them.
 
2011-06-27 12:05:02 AM  
knowyourmeme.com

/Worst. Site. Ever.
 
2011-06-27 12:05:32 AM  
"The Internet was created by the United States of America

Hey, YEAH, you';re right! Surely this is a lead in to a story about Internet Freedom and the importance of freedom of speech

- a Christian nation -

wat

and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech"

You best be trolling.
/Oh, it IS trolling
 
2011-06-27 12:05:45 AM  

Civil Discourse: Why don't I worry a whole lot about these people?

FTA: Prayer. It is our best weapon against the anti-Christian forces.

Because this is their number one solution to problems.

/knows trolling site is trolling
//still applies to the real thing.


Best line in TFA. Haven't they heard the saying "pray in one hand, shiat in the other, see which one fills up first." I used to do a lot of indoor rock climbing and saw one guy trying to pray his friend up the wall. The guy was halfway up, stuck, and his friend is sitting there praying for him to be able to what, grow a bunch of muscles and climbing skill right then and there? What a bunch of tards.
 
2011-06-27 12:05:49 AM  
what_the_fark_am_i_reading.jpg
 
2011-06-27 12:06:48 AM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: /Worst. Site. Ever.


Figured I'd let someone else risk the banhammer.
 
2011-06-27 12:08:11 AM  
Clearly there is a significant minority among the denizens of Farkistan who have have never fully grasped the concept of the ever giving jokes that are Poe's Law and/or Poe's Paradox
 
2011-06-27 12:13:31 AM  

angelwolf65: Fark has been trolled! These are the same guys responsble for Landover Baptist Church! It's a fake site.


Yeah, but you have to give people a little slack. As Poe's Law states, without context it's almost impossible to tell the difference between a parody of religious fundamentalism and real religious fundamentalism.

Landover is funny, but not half as funny as the sort of brain shriveling crap that came out of the the mouths of people like Falwell and Robertson on a daily basis.

And a Creationist like Ray Comfort is really the most amazingly meta parody of himself. Really, watch Ray in action and try to wrap your brain around the fact that he's totally serious.
 
2011-06-27 12:17:29 AM  

styckx: What the fark am I looking at? Intrigued with the pic of the pedo looking fella up in the corner I ventured into their members list.



Kyle started out hating Christians. He listened to anti-Christian music, played violent video games, and created a website attacking various Christian organizations while praising the work of . Kyle was a troubled boy. However, this all changed when he found Jesus. Since then he has gotten himself cleaned up, has started listening to Christian rock, and is now a respectable looking young lad. His parents - being Jewish - were hesitant to accept his new found faith, but they do consider it better that Kyle is now following Jesus instead of Marilyn Manson. Kyle has recently graduated from Fellowship Christian High School and is now attending Fellowship University. When not studying, he helps maintain our web site.

How convenient all his former issues revolved around violent video games, Marilyn Manson and an Atheist.


Another successful brainwashing by Christians.
 
2011-06-27 12:19:07 AM  
you know its fake because marilyn manson hasn't been popular for years
 
2011-06-27 12:20:58 AM  

Mykeru: Yeah, but you have to give people a little slack. As Poe's Law states, without context it's almost impossible to tell the difference between a parody of religious fundamentalism and real religious fundamentalism.


Poe's Law is for people who succumb to knee-jerk reactions. Parody is often easily spotted and it's only the lazy who cry Poe's Law when they are fooled.

There's always someone who actually believes something crazy, that's not an excuse for not being able to identify obvious parody.
 
2011-06-27 12:21:03 AM  
Restricting free speech... That's exactly what liberals want "Net Neutrality" to do...

Documents show FCC coordinated 'Net Neutrality' effort with outside group

The FCC's Threat to Internet Freedom

Does this look like Free Speech?

Civil Rights on the Internet
 
2011-06-27 12:25:29 AM  
Trolls trolling trolls.
 
2011-06-27 12:30:27 AM  
So many xians, so few lions.
 
2011-06-27 12:31:09 AM  

sweet-daddy-2: I have but one request.Don't judge all of us by the cracked pots that spew forth the garbage you hear on a daily basis. I hope the majority of Christians are offended by the trash that idiots like this group scream to the world. Saved that I am,I harbor very un-Christian ideas on how to Fark up people like him.But I'll let God handle them.


This.
 
2011-06-27 12:31:39 AM  
Just another example of stupid trolling. Promoting said trolling is what really needs stamping out.
 
2011-06-27 12:32:23 AM  

RLupin: It's sad/scary that it's impossible to tell REAL Christian websites, from crazy insane over-the-top parodies. I honestly have no idea whether the rambling, lunatic rantings on this page are meant as a joke, or are the actual thoughts and opinions of a Good Baptist American. There's little to no difference....


Yeah, when I first found the site I thought they were for real. That went...interestingly. At least the police figured out that the secret witness report was just a really dumb kid and not an actual crime...

/Saw link, wanted to slap someone
//Read article, now find it...interesting...
 
2011-06-27 12:37:22 AM  
I almost forgot that one was a satire site. (Oh, Poe's Law...)
 
2011-06-27 12:40:02 AM  
"The Internet interwebs was created by the United States of America Ceiling Cat - a Christian Cat nation - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian Cat, secular, or non-Christian Caturday propaganda and hatedogspeech"

There.

Much more interweb friendly.

You're welcome.
 
2011-06-27 12:41:36 AM  

Jixa: "The Internet interwebs was created by the United States of America Ceiling Cat - a Christian Cat nation - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian Cat, secular, or non-Christian Caturday propaganda and hatedogspeech"

There.

Much more interweb friendly.

You're welcome.


You work for that disaster called OhInternet that sanitized and renamed ED aren't you?
 
2011-06-27 12:43:58 AM  

Absolutely love this part:

What Dr. Poe recognized as the solution to this problem has become informally known in theological circles as Poe's Law, which states that: elements of the gospel speak to different levels of spiritual concern in different cultures at different times. For example, at certain times and in certain places, the Passion of the Christ speaks most meaningfully to people; whereas, at other times and places, it is the Resurrection that most effectively addresses people's spiritual needs. Knowing which aspect best speaks to the times and locality can mean the difference between mere metamelomai and true metanoic rebirth.

Thus, Poe's Law informs us that we must be mindful of the sociocultural context in which the good news is delivered. Through this mindfulness, a properly balanced gospel emphasis can be created -- or, to use the jargon, the most soteric kerygma modality can be employed -- so as to maximize spiritual resonance within the souls of the audience. As always, the Lord has foreseen this need and has given us a gospel rich with kerygmatic potential: there's a part of the gospel that will open the heart of anyone, and it's the bailiwick of the modern pastor or missiological technician to find it.
 
2011-06-27 12:51:44 AM  
As someome has pointed out, actually several people, the real, hardcore godbothered are indistinguishable from the parody. They spout a lot the the same nonsense just as loudly. I should know I married into a whole extended family of the terminally godbothered. {'The Church' seemed mystical to me as I was raised devoid of religon}

And for about a decade I was infected, but then I grew up and started to think critically and saw the inconsistencies and realized that they were not only sincere in their beliefs they were totally blind to any view that did not conform with their churches dogma. Everything outside the church, in the secular world, is there for the sole purpose of destroying your faith and your body, To "take you away" from god and his narrow bit of teachings.

Thank God (Parody) I got better! I am now a happy non-theist again. I find them sad and pity-able now, knowing they will never grow up out of their 'Fairy Tale" mindset.
 
2011-06-27 12:55:37 AM  

bravian: Philbb: People are still falling for this site? That makes me feel old.

I had the same feeling.


And even after our posts, people are still talking like this might be something other than satire. Perhaps if I bolded it.

People are still falling for this site? That makes me feel old.

More info
Landover Baptist Church (new window)
 
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