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(News.com.au)   Man discovers that hitting his naked roommate with a platypus statue was a monumental mistake   (news.com.au ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, parole, Herald Sun, oral sex  
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7949 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2011 at 4:35 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-06-23 04:25:34 AM  
Is "Aaron James Johnstone guilty of killing naked gay flatmate Phillip William Higgins" not the most rhythmic headline ever written?
 
2011-06-23 04:45:28 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
Approves
/hot like the ol' in out in out
 
2011-06-23 04:46:19 AM  

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat: Is "Aaron James Johnstone guilty of killing naked gay flatmate Phillip William Higgins" not the most rhythmic headline ever written?


I don't know...

/I think we could still work "with a concrete platypus" in there someplace
//and Concrete Platypus would be a great band name
 
2011-06-23 04:47:25 AM  
Don't make me drop the hammer platypus on your ass!
 
2011-06-23 05:03:20 AM  
Extreme monotreme.
 
2011-06-23 05:09:24 AM  
FTFA: Johnstone, who pleaded not guilty to murder, had admitted to police he assaulted Mr Higgins but said he was angry at being propositioned and was himself "grossly intoxicated" at the time.

Yeah and killing someone when assaulting them while angry is called Murder.
 
2011-06-23 05:41:45 AM  
He wasn't just X-TREME!, he was X-MONOTREME!
 
2011-06-23 05:59:12 AM  
Where's Perry?
 
2011-06-23 06:11:00 AM  

thatboyoverthere: Yeah and killing someone when assaulting them while angry is called Murder.


Isn't it? Not first degree murder, sure, but he knew he was killing the guy and that's murder.
 
2011-06-23 06:23:20 AM  

Noon Blue Apples: thatboyoverthere: Yeah and killing someone when assaulting them while angry is called Murder.

Isn't it? Not first degree murder, sure, but he knew he was killing the guy and that's murder.


Well second-degree is what we got charged with and convicted of. It's like saying "Sure I slept with your best friend but I didn't cheat on you" Semantics of the purest sense. Except you know I guy got killed pretty much for being gay and drunk.

/Also with a blood alcohol of .32 the guy had a chance of dying anyway.
 
2011-06-23 06:23:25 AM  
i249.photobucket.com

You never go full platypus.
 
2011-06-23 06:42:39 AM  
www.glogster.com

Disapproves.
 
2011-06-23 06:50:30 AM  

nopokerface: Where's Perry?


Came here to say this. Don't need to now.
 
2011-06-23 07:09:42 AM  
Aren't you a little old to be beating your roommate with a statue?
Why yes, yes I am.
OK carry on.
 
2011-06-23 07:29:16 AM  
Gay?

*clicks link*

:-/
 
2011-06-23 07:48:44 AM  
"Gay roommate proposes oral sex, but suspect beats him off with a platypus instead"
 
2011-06-23 07:53:40 AM  
Roommate shoulda duck(billed)ed quicker.
 
2011-06-23 07:55:21 AM  

catchow: Roommate shoulda duck(billed)ed quicker.


Dammit! FTFM.

/Preview is your friend.
 
2011-06-23 08:00:43 AM  
profile.ak.fbcdn.net

"Grlgrlglglglglglgl..."
 
2011-06-23 08:03:58 AM  
The platypus is known for driving a forklift in its habitat of kelp.

/no relation to the flounder.
 
2011-06-23 08:05:06 AM  

thatboyoverthere: Yeah and killing someone when assaulting them while angry is called Murder.


If you're sufficiently provoked or suffer an extreme emotional disturbance, a homicide that would normally be murder gets dropped down to manslaughter.
 
2011-06-23 08:37:56 AM  

envirovore: Approves
/hot like the ol' in out in out


Came for this. Leaving satisfied.
 
2011-06-23 08:38:58 AM  

Pvt Joker: thatboyoverthere: Yeah and killing someone when assaulting them while angry is called Murder.

If you're sufficiently provoked or suffer an extreme emotional disturbance, a homicide that would normally be murder gets dropped down to manslaughter.


No, it isn't. In the US, if your intention was still to kill them, then it's second degree murder (second degree = crime of passion, as opposed to first degree, which is with malice aforethought). If the guy assaulted him without intending to kill him (say like punching someone in a bar, he hits his head on the counter and then dies as a result), then it would be manslaughter.
 
2011-06-23 08:48:37 AM  

Dr. Nick Riviera: Pvt Joker: thatboyoverthere: Yeah and killing someone when assaulting them while angry is called Murder.

If you're sufficiently provoked or suffer an extreme emotional disturbance, a homicide that would normally be murder gets dropped down to manslaughter.

No, it isn't. In the US, if your intention was still to kill them, then it's second degree murder (second degree = crime of passion, as opposed to first degree, which is with malice aforethought). If the guy assaulted him without intending to kill him (say like punching someone in a bar, he hits his head on the counter and then dies as a result), then it would be manslaughter.



Yes, it is:

Comment to Model Penal Code § 210.3, American Law Institute (Revised Commentaries, 1980) states: "Section 210.3 of the Model Code continues a modified and substantially enlarged version of the rule of provocation. Subsection (1)(b) punishes as manslaughter 'homicide which would otherwise be murder [if it] is committed under the influence of extreme mental or emotional disturbance for which there is reasonable explanation or excuse.' This formulation effects substantial changes in the traditional notion of provocation. For one thing, the Code does not require that the actor's emotional distress arise from some injury, affront, or other provocative act perpetrated upon him by the deceased. Under the Code, mitigation may be appropriate where the actor believes that the deceased is responsible for some injustice to another or even where he strikes out in a blinding rage and kills an innocent bystander. In some such cases, the cause and intensity of the actor's emotion may be less indicative of moral depravity than would be a homicidal response to a blow to one's person. By eliminating any reference to provocation in the ordinary sense of improper conduct by the deceased, the Model Code avoids arbitrary exclusion of some circumstances that may justify reducing murder to manslaughter.

Link
 
2011-06-23 09:30:19 AM  

nopokerface: Where's Perry?


... he said, and smiled in that special way...
 
2011-06-23 09:30:58 AM  
Homophobia is not a valid reason for "extreme mental or emotional disturbance".
 
2011-06-23 09:32:28 AM  
He said to just put it on his bill.
 
2011-06-23 09:42:32 AM  
Came for the Phineas and Ferb references.

Leaving happy

/well done
 
2011-06-23 09:42:59 AM  

Herunar: Homophobia is not a valid reason for "extreme mental or emotional disturbance".


And being shiat-faced drunk isn't either
 
2011-06-23 09:52:00 AM  
Who throws a shoe bashes a gay roommate with a platypus statue?
 
2011-06-23 09:53:28 AM  

Viss: Who throws a shoe bashes a gay roommate with keeps a platypus statue?

 
2011-06-23 09:56:00 AM  
The next time someone tries to beat you to death with a platypus statue, my advice is to duck, Bill.

/women are from Venus, men are for marsupials
 
2011-06-23 09:57:55 AM  
Ah, Perry the Platypus! What an unexpected surprise. And by unexpected, I mean completely expected!
 
2011-06-23 10:09:07 AM  
Maybe it was just one statue in a whole series? It probably could of just as easily been a horny toad statue...

qualitystatuecrafter.com
 
2011-06-23 10:17:28 AM  
"intended to kill or to cause really serious injury..."

I guess that's legalese in Austria.
 
2011-06-23 10:26:49 AM  

HAMMERTOE: nopokerface: Where's Perry?

... he said, and smiled in that special way...


This post may not be my favorite post in this thread, but it ranks pretty high. Number 5 on my list, to be precise...
 
2011-06-23 10:40:21 AM  
This article makes me want an 8kg platypus statue
 
2011-06-23 10:45:34 AM  

Viss: Who throws a shoe bashes a gay roommate with a platypus statue?


A closeted, sexually repressed man?

/rosary beads in court
//nice touch
 
db2
2011-06-23 10:45:55 AM  
What a magnificent monotreme monument.
 
2011-06-23 10:46:17 AM  
Perry the Platypus, what an unexpected surprise. And by "unexpected", I really mean unexpected! What are you doing here? This is my week off.
 
2011-06-23 10:46:24 AM  
Perry the Platypus, your timing is impeccable. And by this, I mean "COMPLETELY PECCABLE!"

/doofenshmirtz evil incorporaaaaated!!!!
 
2011-06-23 10:49:04 AM  

AbbeySomeone:
/rosary beads in court
//nice touch


Better than where the gay man keeps his beads.
 
2011-06-23 10:51:29 AM  

nopokerface: Where's Perry?


Came for this, leaving satisfied

docfate: Perry the Platypus, what an unexpected surprise. And by "unexpected", I really mean unexpected! What are you doing here? This is my week off.


This, too.
 
2011-06-23 10:54:34 AM  

olapbill: Ah, Perry the Platypus! What an unexpected surprise. And by unexpected, I mean completely expected!


docfate: Perry the Platypus, what an unexpected surprise. And by "unexpected", I really mean unexpected! What are you doing here? This is my week off.


sniderman: Perry the Platypus, your timing is impeccable. And by this, I mean "COMPLETELY PECCABLE!"

/doofenshmirtz evil incorporaaaaated!!!!


Oh look, Doofenshmirtz got his Quote-me-anator working.

/Sad part is the internal audio feature works too. I read those in his voice complete with proper inflections.
 
2011-06-23 11:01:24 AM  
Come on. Everyone knows that the platypus doesn't do much. It's an inaction figure.
 
2011-06-23 11:02:55 AM  
Who on earth other than this guy even has a platypus statue?
 
2011-06-23 11:06:27 AM  
Wait, wait... My evil plan isn't evil enough for you to foil, is that it? Really? I've just insulted the macaroni and cheese recipe of a whale. What part of that is not evil? Perry the platypus, you get back here and thwart me this instant!
 
2011-06-23 11:07:07 AM  

ClintBartonWannabe: /Sad part is the internal audio feature works too. I read those in his voice complete with proper inflections.


I don't care what anyone says, Phineas and Ferb is a great cartoon. Underappreciated by non-kids.
 
2011-06-23 11:08:35 AM  

Knara: ClintBartonWannabe: /Sad part is the internal audio feature works too. I read those in his voice complete with proper inflections.

I don't care what anyone says, Phineas and Ferb is a great cartoon. Underappreciated by non-kids.


I actually look forward to new episodes. And I'm 31.
 
2011-06-23 11:14:35 AM  
Why would you turn down free oral sex?! Don't matter if it's from a guy, a BJ is still a BJ!
 
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