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    More: Amusing, North Hollywood, water hoses, Natural History Museum, clerical workers, peanut, shell shock, oxnard  
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21922 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2011 at 6:27 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-06-20 12:20:50 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2011-06-20 12:24:45 AM  
Where green is good.
 
2011-06-20 12:25:33 AM  
We have pie.
 
2011-06-20 12:26:31 AM  
squirrels
all we really are is squirrels
we're being hunted we are squirrels
we are appealing we are squirrels

we want to gather nuts
but people splatter our guts
when they're on a country drive
it isn't easy to survive

back in the other day
i saw a squirrel get blown away
they served him on a dinner tray
they baked him into a suflay
squirrel season opens up today
if your a squirrel run away
i dont know what else i should say
please call the ASPCA

fur coats from us are made
fur is nice but i like swade
they scrape our fur off with a blade
and never bother with first aid
we squirrels mainly like to play
and we like to catch some rays
please dont kill us this we pray
we're cute and harmless anyway

squirrels we're not delicious
squirrels we are not racoons
squirrels dont live in palm trees
squirrels or in your bathroom

squirrels
thats all we really are is
squirrels
isnt it fine i am a squirrel
please help em save us we are
squirrels
i wanna whip out my
squirrel
squirrels
 
2011-06-20 12:26:36 AM  
waywardtraveler.net
 
2011-06-20 12:33:34 AM  
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2011-06-20 12:44:27 AM  
You know what?
F**K squirrels.

I F**king hate squirrels.

If you didn't have a toupee hanging off your ass, everyone would know that you're just a got dam rat in a tree.

There. I said it.
 
2011-06-20 12:56:59 AM  
i259.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-20 01:47:00 AM  

FloydA: You know what?
F**K squirrels.

I F**king hate squirrels.

If you didn't have a toupee hanging off your ass, everyone would know that you're just a got dam rat in a tree.

There. I said it.


Hey!

...how do you know it's not an extremely bushy merkin to cover their huge balls?
 
2011-06-20 02:04:03 AM  
It doesn't sound like she's done everything. She should get herself a BB gun, and start gathering up the ingredients for some squirrel stew.
 
2011-06-20 06:13:54 AM  
My God there's squirrels, squirrels everywhere. How will we survive? HOW WILL WE SURVIVE?????
 
2011-06-20 06:34:02 AM  
i said i saw a great thing .... which .. never mind.
 
2011-06-20 06:34:35 AM  
"no homeowner can trap a wild animal in California without written permission from every neighbor within 150 yards."

wow that's a hippie law.
 
PJ-
2011-06-20 06:47:04 AM  
I wish there were some sort of animal that would instinctively hunt these animals. If only they could domesticate something that would also make for awesome pictures and entertaining captions.
 
2011-06-20 06:51:03 AM  
Higgins wrote last month, citing research from museum mammalogist Jim Dines
So they consult some guy who studies mammalian protuberances about a squirrel problem?
 
2011-06-20 06:56:20 AM  
How about just putting some D-Con in the bait in one of those traps feeding stations?
 
2011-06-20 06:56:50 AM  
Feed them to the poor along with the geese.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-06-20 06:58:31 AM  
Acorns have a good end and a bad end. A hungry squirrel might eat most or all of an acorn, but when nuts are plentiful they nibble on the tasty end and drop the rest. It seems some squirrels apply that instinct to fruit as well -- take a few bites and drop the rest.

"Eventually an overzealous hospital administrator noticed that they were being fed table scraps and, deeming this illicit provisioning a misuse of government support, turned the squirrels loose."

The common Eastern bird feeder visitor the House Finch is native to the Southwest. Its species name is Carpodacus mexicanus. In the mid-20th century government investigators went to check out alleged illegal sales of the finches in New York. Pet shop owners released the illegal birds and they bred and the rest is history.
 
2011-06-20 07:03:43 AM  
Squirrel is code for gangbanger.

"The squirrels gangbangers have since marched north to Oxnard, south to Orange County and east to Ontario. They are so bold, Higgins told me, they have been seen swiping French fries and sandwiches from kids on field trips to the Natural History Museum."
 
2011-06-20 07:05:31 AM  
nastyish.com

the solution
 
2011-06-20 07:06:01 AM  
My parents live in LA and my dad has been waging a losing war against a raccoon for months. It comes into the house through the doggie door and eats her food, and generally makes a mess in the backyard, knocking things into the fishpond.

Traps have proved ineffective thus far, and my mom won't let him get a gun ;-)

Squirrels aren't really a problem, despite the tempting orange, apricot, and loquat trees.
 
2011-06-20 07:08:18 AM  
i2.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-20 07:09:27 AM  

no clever name here just move along: "no homeowner can trap a wild animal in California without written permission from every neighbor within 150 yards."

wow that's a hippie law.


I guess the law is that you can't set a trap within 150 yards of other peoples property without asking them.
 
2011-06-20 07:13:56 AM  
 
2011-06-20 07:17:17 AM  

no clever name here just move along: "no homeowner can trap a wild animal in California without written permission from every neighbor within 150 yards."

wow that's a hippie law.


Umm, that claim sounds like a do-gooder spreading FUD, so I'm calling shenanigans. Otherwise, nobody could trap and remove all those raccoons having babies in their attics, because one neighbor within 150 yards will be out of town when you need to get that "written permission".

Besides, exotic species are unprotected in California, and it's open season on them unless there's a local protection ordinance.
 
2011-06-20 07:17:54 AM  
Eeeew, it's a... it's a RAT!
 
2011-06-20 07:21:58 AM  
As someone who sent four squirrels to the happy nut hunting grounds with his trusty Red Rider Daisy air rifle this weekend (little farkers keep stealing my strawberries and tearing up the metal caps on my fence), I sympathize with these folks' plight.
 
2011-06-20 07:22:52 AM  
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

s3.amazonaws.com

/hot like gonads
//and strife
 
2011-06-20 07:26:19 AM  

Nogale: Squirrels aren't really a problem, despite the tempting orange, apricot, and loquat trees.


You know you've been on fark too long when you read that as "lolcat trees".
 
2011-06-20 07:30:54 AM  

Hagbardr: Nogale: Squirrels aren't really a problem, despite the tempting orange, apricot, and loquat trees.

You know you've been on fark too long when you read that as "lolcat trees".


There are lolcat trees? Why was I not informed?
 
2011-06-20 07:33:27 AM  
Squirrel Launcher (new window)
 
2011-06-20 07:34:20 AM  
.22 shot shell... then breakfast.
 
2011-06-20 07:36:07 AM  
I don't mind the squirrels, it's the chipmunks that get me. I've shot a few over the past week, but there's so many of them (and I'm not that great of a shot with a 20+ year old BB gun). I've been considering killing them in their holes with overpressure, but the only explosives I have are M-150s, and I don't think they pack enough punch to explode their tiny little lungs.

Any suggestions besides slowly picking them off?
 
2011-06-20 07:37:41 AM  

allthesametome: Hagbardr: Nogale: Squirrels aren't really a problem, despite the tempting orange, apricot, and loquat trees.

You know you've been on fark too long when you read that as "lolcat trees".

There are lolcat trees? Why was I not informed?


Every Saturday on the main page.
 
2011-06-20 07:54:25 AM  
We have voles in our yard, little s*ts kept eating my veggie garden. Solution, a couple of coffee cans baited with peanut putter and the D-Con blocks, the lids have holes cut just large enough for the little f*ckers to get in and nibble. If that didn't work the .22 air rifle did and if I missed the shot, the dog would get them. So far this year we haven't had any problems with them but I attribute that to the 5 foot mystery snake that lives somewhere behind the retaining wall.
 
2011-06-20 07:58:00 AM  
img69.imageshack.us

Gamo Whisper. Your neighbors don't need to know anything about what you're doing.
 
PJ-
2011-06-20 07:58:03 AM  

no clever name here just move along: "no homeowner can trap a wild animal in California without written permission from every neighbor within 150 yards."

wow that's a hippie law.


It may be a hippy law, but it does serve it's purpose. It's so people can keep their animals inside while you are trying to catch an animal.
 
2011-06-20 08:00:30 AM  
"...munching on one of her apricots"...Prrretty sure that's a euphemism for sommmething...
 
2011-06-20 08:01:10 AM  
airgunstyle.com
 
2011-06-20 08:05:12 AM  
Instant Squirrel's gonna get you,
Gonna knock you right on the head,
You better get yourself together,
Pretty soon you're gonna be dead,
What in the world you thinking of,
Laughing in the face of love,
What on earth you tryin' to do,
It's up to you, yeah you.

Instant Squirrel's gonna get you,
Gonna look you right in the Squirrel face,
Better get yourself together darlin',
Join the Squirrel race,
How in the world you gonna see,
Laughin' at Squirrels like me,
Who on earth d'you think you are,
A super star,
Well, right you are.

Well we all shine on,
Like the moon and the stars and the sun,
Well we all shine on,
Ev'rysquirrel come on.

--------

All the Squirrel hate has got to end. Come out of the closet Squirrelphobes, you know you wanna fark a Squirrel. Put down your puny low caliber firearms, man up and make some sweet Squirrel love down by the fire. You know you want it.
 
2011-06-20 08:06:40 AM  
Its just species pollution. Like letting americans into your country.
 
2011-06-20 08:11:22 AM  
Nick Nostril: Gamo Whisper. Your neighbors don't need to know anything about what you're doing.

$5 says that this isn't legal to be shipped to Cali.
That being said, it isn't like you can't have an out-of-State friend ship you one ;)


Oh, and when the "Peanut Cam" finally goes live, I think that Drew needs to have a direct live feed added below the blocked banner ad on the front page, so that it's front and center for our viewing pleasure every day.
 
2011-06-20 08:14:19 AM  
Hire a Douglas AC-47 Spooky to fly around and blast the area where the squirrels are.
 
2011-06-20 08:17:02 AM  

aearra: Its just species pollution. Like letting americans into your country.


You sound Canadian.
 
2011-06-20 08:18:49 AM  
LeglessDog

Oh boy, did I get into a lot of trouble with one of those as a kid. Brings back fond memories.....
 
2011-06-20 08:20:09 AM  

Nick Nostril: Gamo Whisper. Your neighbors don't need to know anything about what you're doing.


Hobodeluxe: the solution


Came for this. Leaving for ammo...
/Rodents. I hate rodents.
 
2011-06-20 08:20:12 AM  
image.kazaa.com

Hey, hey, I don't mind, I don't need much at all
 
2011-06-20 08:22:23 AM  
"It's not news, it's Fark.com" - now that's catchy, that works.
"We don't make the news. We mock it." - thank you, Ric Romero. Next!
 
2011-06-20 08:24:18 AM  
www.humorhound.com

Fark edition.
 
2011-06-20 08:31:37 AM  
So they're a rodent fond of stealing? With a name like Sciurus niger, I'm not surprised.
 
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