EyeForgot: doctor's are useless anyway. only good for charging you $300 for a 2 minute checkup after waiting 2 hours and not listen to a thing you say misdiagnose you so you end up going to the hospital anyways 5 days later. Then bill you another $300 for some random made up obscure bullcrap.

gave me antibiotics which i ended up being allergic to and he said to stay on them... ended with a sulpha reaction from hell and my kidneys shutdown

/fark doctors
//spent 6 months sick as hell cause i listened to a doctor

This is why a lot of people don't got to doctors.

For a profession that takes hundreds of thousands of dollars and many years of training, they don't seem to know what the fark they are doing so often.

Couple of months ago I took my little boy to the pediatrician. He was sick and obviously had some kind of infection. Doc came in, glanced at him and listened to him with a stethoscope for a few moments, wrote out a prescription and sent us on our way. He was in and out in under 3 minutes.

The kid only has one allergy, and he prescribed the one medicine he is allergic to. The allergy was clearly written out on his charts, we even verbally mentioned that when he said he was prescribing some antibiotics. We told him, right then and there, what he's allergic to, and he prescribed it anyway.

Thanks to Doctor's Handwriting we couldn't tell that's what he wrote on the script, so when we got to the pharmacy and their computers flagged it as a reaction, we had to call back and get him to change the script. To make that mistake he had to not even glance at the chart, and not be paying attention to a word we said when we stood there and told him he was allergic to it.

In my own experience, for me to join the military took a medical waiver. Nothing big, but I would have to go to a civilian doc and get a letter saying I specifically didn't have a condition that the induction physical flagged me as possibly having. There was a specific DoD standard diagnostic protocol he'd have to write a letter saying he followed.

I went in, told the doc (who was a friend-of-a-friend who used to be in the Army, so I figured he'd know what the fark I needed) I needed a letter saying *blah* and that I didn't have *blah*. . .and before I could even explain what it was he was doing some cursory checks, dictating into a recorder and ushering me out the door.

The letter wasn't sufficient because he didn't even let me explain what I needed from him. I went back and said I needed a letter that said *blah*. His response was to tell me I was asking him to commit medical fraud because he'd never performed those tests. I told him that I wanted those tests performed so I could get him to write the letter. He begrudingly ran the tests, saying they were unneccesary and he didn't like having what tests to run dictated to him by a patient. He wrote the letter which said I have a clean bill of health, I got in the Army. Never went back to that doctor though.

Basically, people would go to doctors more often if:

1. They were more affordable. Lack of insurance hurts a lot of people. Thank the Republicans for making the idea of giving people health care to be evil "socialism" that takes away your freedoms.

2. Doctors actually spent time with patients and didn't make dumb mistakes that seriously call into question their competence. Being billed $200 for a 3 minute visit where you make obvious mistakes because you didn't even listen to what the patient was saying calls the whole farking system into doubt.

FTFA: "The latest studies find that men in their 40s and 50s with erectile dysfunction may be two to five years away from a cardiovascular event like a heart attack," Dr. Miner says.

And if you have heart trouble, avoid strenuous activity, like sex.

Also, a number of antidepressants can cause "sexual dysfunction"... which would be kinda depressing.

And you wonder why guys don't go to the doc?

I will admit the cost of seeing a doctor is a deterrent. Even if it is a $20-30 co-pay, it is tough to pay that and then hear that you have a simple condition and get prescribed an OTC for it.

I am grateful that at my job (community college with a big nursing program) I have friends that are retired MDs that teach A&P and the like. If I ever have a condition, I ask them if it is serious or just something mild that may pass or become worse. Those conversations are worth their weight in gold (I usually treat them to lunch now and then as a retainer fee) My favorite on was due to a swollen uvula, freaked me the hell out when I woke up with it. Instead of paying my co-pay, I called my friend who told me to just chew on ice chips, asked how much did I drink the night before and why didn't I invite him to the party.

I think if we had something to this effect in general medicine it would help. A $5, 15 min, tell me whats wrong and then see if it needs to be escalated to the next level.

I hate doctors. Nothing but bad news. I will not go to another hospital unless I have to get taken in by ambulance against my will. Last time I went to ER they locked me up for a week for a mental health evaluation... I went to get an emergency prescription for my anti-depressants because they ran out.. Said the wrong thing to the wrong person and suddenly I am surrounded by security and told I am being held under the mental health act.

I have never had a good experience at the doctor office.. but I have had enough bad experiences to be skeptical about the credibility of a 2 minute diagnosis from an overworked doctor.

Treygreen13: johne3819: This reminds me of two years ago. I had diverticulitis, a problem with my gut. Anyways, at the end of treatment, they told me: "if your stool has blood in it, call us." I thought, if I have blood in my shiat, I'm going to the emergency room!" Who needs to be told this?

/ I know, CSB.

Well it's not exactly like you'd poop and blood would just come spilling out along with it. Your stool could just be a different hue. A man might look at that and go, "hmm, poop looks a little red tonight, must have had something disagree with me".


My anus is bleeding!

'kay. I'll make a doctor appointment next time I'm feeling tongue-tied or find a new spot on my skin because ZOMG it could be something serious!

But...most likely not.

Hyjamon: I think if we had something to this effect in general medicine it would help. A $5, 15 min, tell me whats wrong and then see if it needs to be escalated to the next level.

THIS IS WHAT FAMILY PRACTIC DOCS ACTUALLY DO

/price may vary a bit

Ive had cancer and other ailments and definitely go to the doctor, but I do have to have the wife prod me to go in.


It's not because I am tough or a pansy its because everytime I go in I somehow owe a few million dollars to get an aspirin.

I just love that almost every symptom they have on here is either a kidney stone OR FARK UP YOUR LIFE CANCER WARNING!

...and then tomorrow we'll get another article decrying the age of Web M.D. professionals, and the annoying habit of people freaking out and going to the doctor over every little thing.

/rinse and repeat
//Hmm...there's some odd looking bubbles in my toothpaste spittle
///OHMYGOD IT'S A FLESHEATING BACTERIA!!!

This is something that bugs the hell out of me about my husband. Occassionally he has what he call "pain bursts" that make his whole body seize up for a couple seconds, and then it goes away. He has a couple of these a week. He also gets migraines so bad the only thing that helps in hydrocodone and sitting in a dark room, so he has to skip work. He has an average 1 a month, but can go a few months without them or have 2-3 in a month. He absolutely REFUSES to go see a doctor because "they aren't a big deal". When you start missing work for a headache it is a big deal.

I used to be the supportive wife who would "Aww, poor baby", rub his head and shoulders, get him medicine, and generally cater to his every whim when he was like this. Now when he starts whinning I just say "Guess you should have seen the doctor", put him to bed, and continue on with my day. Heartless? Yeah but I hate it when people whine and then do absolutely nothing to fix it. That is my biggest pet peeve.

My Dad used to be stubborn about the doctor as well. A couple years ago he was having some soreness in his arms and tightness in his chest. He figured it was from all of the work in the yard he'd been doing. My mom made him see the doctor, who immediately made him see a cardiologist. He ended up having partial artery blockage and had to get a couple stents.

I mean, he's a smart guy, worked in the pharmacy for years, and he was still stubborn as hell about going to the doctor.

He's thinking: TFA is full of useful information about when to go see a doctor

But it Could be: a generally accurate but misleading load of bullshiat that is actually an advertisement for doctors.

Women run to a doctor at the drop of a hat and they want men to as well. And we wonder why health care cost are spiraling out of control...

Fuggin Bizzy: Hyjamon: I think if we had something to this effect in general medicine it would help. A $5, 15 min, tell me whats wrong and then see if it needs to be escalated to the next level.

THIS IS WHAT FAMILY PRACTIC DOCS ACTUALLY DO

/price may vary a bit

At least in theory that's what they do.

In reality, the cost is a couple hundred dollars (maybe only $30 to $50 co-pay if you have insurance), you get about 3 to 5 minutes with the doctor, who lets whatever you say go in one ear and out the other, then writes you a prescription for either antibiotics or painkillers or some OTC drug. If you've said the right keyword he might refer you to a specialist that charges 5 times as much and will give you the same 5 minutes, but ask for lab tests and give some more expensive prescriptions before sending you on your way.

If you want people to go to doctors, they need to be affordable, and people need to be able to see them as people who dispense reliable medical advice and help instead of people who are there to just sign off on prescriptions for the newest medicine that BigPharmCo is hawking.

Pancoaifo: if_i_really_have_to: Treygreen13: A man might look at that and go, "hmm, poop looks a little red tonight, must have had something disagree with me"

Black, I think, unless the blood is really fresh.

The color is a very rough indicator of where the bleeding is occurring. Black means it's been digested. (so bleeding anywhere before the early small intestine). The brighter the red, the later in the large intestine/rectum/anus it's occurring.

Wait... black poop means I've been bleeding internally? This is not good news...

EyeForgot: doctor's are useless anyway. only good for charging you $300 for a 2 minute checkup after waiting 2 hours and not listen to a thing you say misdiagnose you so you end up going to the hospital anyways 5 days later. Then bill you another $300 for some random made up obscure bullcrap.

gave me antibiotics which i ended up being allergic to and he said to stay on them... ended with a sulpha reaction from hell and my kidneys shutdown

/fark doctors
//spent 6 months sick as hell cause i listened to a doctor

Pretty much this. Last time I went to a doctor I went in for acne and came out with alopecia and dissecting folliculitis. Thanks a lot, asshole.

/fark doctors

I must be manly, having 8 of the 10 warning signs!

/cough cough

INeedAName: Pancoaifo: if_i_really_have_to: Treygreen13: A man might look at that and go, "hmm, poop looks a little red tonight, must have had something disagree with me"

Black, I think, unless the blood is really fresh.

The color is a very rough indicator of where the bleeding is occurring. Black means it's been digested. (so bleeding anywhere before the early small intestine). The brighter the red, the later in the large intestine/rectum/anus it's occurring.

Wait... black poop means I've been bleeding internally? This is not good news...

Have you been eating oreo cookies?? They will make your poo jet black.

I am a woman and I almost never go to a doctor. They never have anything useful for my problems. All they know how to do is put you on steroids and painkillers and antidepressants for the rest of your life. Fark that.

I would never fark up my body/hormones with birth control, I like my hormone levels just the way they are. Any male partner that has a problem with that just has to adapt or find theyselves somebody else.

I went back to my doctor after my jaw started swelling up and I felt falling-down sick a couple of weeks after getting my wisdom teeth out; Infections or coughing up blood is something to go to a doctor for. Blood in stool usually isn't a big deal. Everyone gets colon problems these days unless they avoid the typical modern diet.

I'm only 24, and was very reluctant to go in for a sleep study, but after almost falling asleep behind the wheel of my car on I-95, I figured it was probably worth getting checked out. It's been a little over a year now with the CPAP and I can honestly say going in for a sleep study was one of the best decisions I've made. I feel so much better after finally getting good sleep.

You don't have to be overweight at all for sleep apnea either, in my case it's just a really narrow airway. I always figured that during college I was tired because of morning swim practices but looking back on it, I could have saved myself a whole lot of headaches by getting a sleep study done sooner.

Silverstaff: At least in theory that's what they do.

In reality, the cost is a couple hundred dollars (maybe only $30 to $50 co-pay if you have insurance), you get about 3 to 5 minutes with the doctor, who lets whatever you say go in one ear and out the other, then writes you a prescription for either antibiotics or painkillers or some OTC drug.

It's a shame we don't live in a free market, which would allow you to find a doctor's office with better rates and service. That'd be nice.

Also, the reason men are less likely to go to the doctor is because it is often a degrading experience. Personally, I'd rather die young than live my life always following the rules and letting people treat me like crap.

Dion Fortune: I am a woman and I almost never go to a doctor. They never have anything useful for my problems. All they know how to do is put you on steroids and painkillers and antidepressants for the rest of your life. Fark that.


Sounds like my grandmother's attitude about Doctors: "Never go to a doctor, once they start cutting on you, they never stop"

She died at the age of 74, and it took Alzheimers', and 5 TIA's, 2 major strokes and a heart attack in 5 years to bring her down. She made it to age 69 still working 40 hour workweeks as a waitress, driving herself around, and living independently and hadn't been to a doctor since the last time she gave birth a little over three decades prior.

My grandfather had the same attitude, just less outspoken about it. He died at 77, of silicosis of the lungs from a lifetime of mixing mortar as a stonemason before people wore filter masks. Doctors said the rest of his body was as fit as a man 20+ years younger than he was and for someone who ate everything fried his cholesterol was rock-bottom, his heart was like a racehorse, and his overall physique was like a juggernaut, but his lungs were torn up from breathing microsopic silica for decades. Doctor's couldn't do anything to help him, and he didn't need them before he got sick.

Their generation saw doctors as someone you went to when you were dying, not something you went to with every sniffle and ache.

Fuggin Bizzy: Silverstaff: At least in theory that's what they do.

In reality, the cost is a couple hundred dollars (maybe only $30 to $50 co-pay if you have insurance), you get about 3 to 5 minutes with the doctor, who lets whatever you say go in one ear and out the other, then writes you a prescription for either antibiotics or painkillers or some OTC drug.

It's a shame we don't live in a free market, which would allow you to find a doctor's office with better rates and service. That'd be nice.

Nice sarcasm, but if you hadn't noticed, that's pretty much every doctor's office you go to. Certainly been every one I've been to in my adult life, and same with every one my wife has been to in her life, and every one we've taken our kid to. I haven't seen a Primary Care Physician that gave a fark about his patients since I was a little kid, it's been nothing but expensive assembly-line "medicine" where MD's are there to sign off on prescriptions and herd you in and out of the office as quickly as possible.

Fat lot of good the "free market" the teabaggers worship as Jesus Christ's very own chosen glorious economic system does when you get to choose from hundreds of doctors in your city that all act pretty much the same.

"Free market" doesn't fix anything at all, it just makes the rich richer, and the poor poorer. We need fixes for our healthcare system more than just saying "the system will fix itself" if Government would get out of the way and stop telling Insurance companies and Hospitals and Doctors what to do.

rosemary's baby daddy: let me save you guys some time

Get more sleep, take some time off of work and try to relax. Schedule a follow up if the symptoms are still there in 2 weeks

That'll be $350 please

That right there is why it's pointless to go. Most of us can't afford to take time off work and still make the bills so why bother.

Fail in Human Form: rosemary's baby daddy: let me save you guys some time

Get more sleep, take some time off of work and try to relax. Schedule a follow up if the symptoms are still there in 2 weeks

That'll be $350 please

That right there is why it's pointless to go. Most of us can't afford to take time off work and still make the bills so why bother.

This. Last job I worked at I had a seizure about 30 min before I was scheduled to go in. GF drove me to the hospital and called work on my behalf. Next day not only did I not get paid for it, but I got a verbal warning.

They had disability but really only covers why you can't come in tomorrow, not why you missed yesterday.

SumoJeb: Wait... black poop means I've been bleeding internally? This is not good news...

Have you been eating oreo cookies?? They will make your poo jet black.

If you want weird, spend a day eating only potato salad and black raspberry ice cream. You'll see a shade of green so bright that it isn't found in nature.

Good thing anecdotes are not proof of anything.

If they were, this thread would make it clear that:

- You will live a long, healthy life if you avoid doctors and just show true grit

- You will die horribly if you see a doctor

- You will die horribly if you do not see a doctor

- You will live a long, healthy life if you just get proper medical care instead of "toughing" it out

- You cannot switch doctors if yours is no good

- You can switch doctors if yours is no good

- If one doctor is bad, all are bad

Thanks, Fark!

hogans 2011-06-15 10:34:27 AM

SumoJeb: Wait... black poop means I've been bleeding internally? This is not good news...

Have you been eating oreo cookies?? They will make your poo jet black.

If you want weird, spend a day eating only potato salad and black raspberry ice cream. You'll see a shade of green so bright that it isn't found in nature.

Alternatively, eat a bunch of cherry cough drops. Try very hard NOT to panic when you see what comes out the next morning.

Used Cars By Wally: I don't sleep with a ton of women, but how would I explain that I'm so old and decrepit that I need a machine to help me sleep?

Or the bigger question, admitting to myself that I'm old an falling apart and I can't sleep without a machine?



You explain nothing.

/then you force-choke the piss out of her

Dion Fortune: Also, the reason men are less likely to go to the doctor is because it is often a degrading experience. Personally, I'd rather die young than live my life always following the rules and letting people treat me like crap.

Death is the supreme festival on the road to freedom.

nope-you-are: hogans 2011-06-15 10:34:27 AM

SumoJeb: Wait... black poop means I've been bleeding internally? This is not good news...

Have you been eating oreo cookies?? They will make your poo jet black.

If you want weird, spend a day eating only potato salad and black raspberry ice cream. You'll see a shade of green so bright that it isn't found in nature.

Alternatively, eat a bunch of cherry cough drops. Try very hard NOT to panic when you see what comes out the next morning.

every fall when I make a big batch of borscht there is always that first blood-red morning dump that catches me off guard and I think I have shat out all my insides.

Pancoaifo: WhoIsNotInMyKitchen:
So whatever happened with that father-of-Canadian-healthcare-calling-it-a-failure thing?

And what was the last great Canadian-sourced innovation in medicine?

Link (new window)

Among others.

hardinparamedic: INeedAName: Pancoaifo: if_i_really_have_to: Treygreen13: A man might look at that and go, "hmm, poop looks a little red tonight, must have had something disagree with me"

Black, I think, unless the blood is really fresh.

The color is a very rough indicator of where the bleeding is occurring. Black means it's been digested. (so bleeding anywhere before the early small intestine). The brighter the red, the later in the large intestine/rectum/anus it's occurring.

Wait... black poop means I've been bleeding internally? This is not good news...

It could also mean a few other things - if you take iron pills, or eat a lot of iron containing vegetables or red meat, you'll have dark poop. Upper GI bleed poop tends to be black and the consistency of tar in severe cases. Sometimes, the only way to tell is with a hemecult.

Whoops, didn't mean to imply internal bleeding was the only possible cause.

Like I said earlier, a one-off occurrence is nothing to worry about. But if it's persistent or recurring, go get checked out. I assumed my latrine laments were due to my excessive drinking. Turns out it was Crohn's. the drinking just didn't help matters.

over_and_done: No insurance, no affording the doctor visit, it's a simple as that.

This. I recently popped a minor hernia, no way I can afford surgery to put it back. Life sucks a little more, but at least I'm not an indentured servant to the local hospital.

thenateman: How does one explain the CPAP?

Use is as part of roleplaying:

"You be Leia in a gold bikini, and I'll be Darth Vader..."

well i've only fainted twice today, and my doctor told me that my hearing is starting to come back in one ear, so other than those mysterious shooting pains in my head and my spastic colon, i'm doin just fine.

dumbobruni: jlinch: dumbobruni: I'm not stubborn about seeing the doctor (only the dentist, and thats because I'm scared shiatless), and thankfullly neither is my dad.



Two words: Nitrous Oxide

/ The dentist CAN be fun!

crippling fear is due to having several procedures done without getting numb. I would have just changed dentists, but he was a friend of my parents, and I was 12.

dentist claimed it was anxiety (which can happen). oddly enough, the nitrous didn't help.

I finally got to see a new dentist, where the lack of numbness was suddenly not a problem anymore

my family and that dentist are no longer on speaking terms

OK - my skin just crawled off and is huddled in a fetal position in the corner. That would do it for me, too. Glad you finally got a REAL dentist.

vermiis: So, about two years back, I was out with some friends on a Thursday night. For some reason, I was in a particularly combative mood - the type that I would blame on too much whiskey for the rest of my family. You know the type, where you feel like everyone's pissing you off, and you have to set them straight.

Friday night, we go out for Mexican food at a local place. Kind of greasy; I think I got some sort of chorizo burrito. Felt vaguely ill afterward. Go figure. Nothing to worry about.

Later that night/Saturday morning, I started having really intense stomach cramps. Food poisoning, I reasoned. Nasty burrito. Not surprised. Sooner or later, it'll pass. Probably throw up along the way. No big deal.

Saturday passed into Sunday. Still feeling really horrible. Bad stomach pains, can't really sleep, but not really awake, either.

Sunday night/Monday morning, I can't get warm enough. I pull out the electric blanket, set it to high, proceed to sweat out the illness.

Along the way, I start having these weird fever dreams. At first, I'm possessed of complete and utter awareness. I could answer any mystery about the universe that anyone chose to put to me. I am supremely confident and given to great purpose.

Shortly thereafter, this awareness shifts over to a cosmic perception. I'm an infinitesimal mote of dust in the face of vast and ancient cyclopean intelligences. I don't dare move or breathe, lest they perceive me and snuff me out in careless disinterest. At the time, I equated these things as being a cross between Azathoth and Crom.

By the time morning came, my wife realized that I was having fever dreams and threw me in the van to head for the hospital. I figured an urgent care center was closer, and hells... it was only food poisoning, right?

At the urgent care center, they took one look at me and told my wife to drive me at all haste to the actual hospital in town. In the ER, they put me through a CT Scan, showed the results to the doctor, and immediately prepped me for surgery.

The doctor asked me, point-blank, "Why did you decide to come in today? You'd already gone several days with a burst appendix, so why now?"

I told him that the pain wasn't going away. Otherwise, I would have toughed it out.

After the surgery, he told my wife that normal appendectomies are a matter of flipping the appendix out of the way, snipping it off, and sewing up the wound. He said they had to "scrape out what was left" of mine.

I vaguely remember the week that followed, being that I was dosed to the gills on morphine and antibiotics as I fought off sepsis. I spent the six weeks after that with a gaping wound in my side, since it was still so infected that they couldn't close the four inch incision normally.

So, yeah.

/ My wife doesn't trust my judgment about pain any more.
// I can't say as I blame her.
/// Still won't eat at that Mexican place, though.

CSB.

Mine is a little scarier--I have atypical migraines, and one day one hits. Fair enough, at that point I was in a high school that was white walls, florescent lights, and computer screens. For non-migraine sufferers, a) you're lucky bastards, and b) that's the room that Jack Bauer would invent to interrogate a migraine-suffering pedophile.

So the migraine starts, and I ignore it. It's just a bit of dizziness, right? And ooh, suddenly the inside of my head (which I always picture as dark) is lit with a bright golden light. And oooh! Now I can do math properly...oh, wait, there's the pain.

I then spend two hours in a dizzy, tripping-balls heaven where I'm stuttering, slurring my speech, and speaking a 'language' composed of words like 'shiny' and 'pokey' that mean entire sentences depending on context.

Luckily, it wasn't actually a stroke. However, according to my school nurse, I now know exactly what a stroke would feel like if I had one.

/I also have a checklist of stroke symptoms that I am never ever allowed to ignore again.
//CSB

csb:

chest pain, uncomfortable feeling for a month. figured it was gastro related. had a ski trip planned, wife made me go to urgent care to get a clean bill of health. Urgent care did an EKG, said it could be nothing but I needed to go to the ER. ER did an EKG, but wanted to do a stress test, admitted me to the hospital for two days. did the tests, turns out it was gastro related. cost me about $1,000, cost the insurance over $20,000. acid reflux.

think our system is broken? I do.

7. Constant Grumpiness
He's thinking: I'm just under a lot of stress at work.
But it could be: He's an asshole

Silverstaff: Nice sarcasm, but if you hadn't noticed, that's pretty much every doctor's office you go to.

Haven't noticed that. I've been to some doctor's offices that didn't give a shiat, but others have been great.

joaquin closet: csb:

See, and I have the exact opposite CSB:

Me: "Doc, my heart hurts"
Doc (glancing at me): "It's not your heart."
[more conversation, then after 10 or so minutes]
Doc: It's acid reflux. Drink less alcohol, and take this $5 prescription."

Big-city HMO, to boot.