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(BBC)   Jesus appears in melted candle wax in English church. Tag is for the cleaner who wiped it up before it could become an internet sensation   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 66
    More: Hero, internet phenomena, English, cleaner  
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9648 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2011 at 3:55 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-06-13 11:24:49 PM
i302.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-13 11:36:36 PM
If Jesus wanted to appear on earth, you would think he'd be a little more obvious than sticking his face into wax drippings, mold formations or burnt toast.
 
2011-06-14 01:12:35 AM
Done in one.
 
2011-06-14 01:15:01 AM

coco ebert: Done in one.


A picture is worth a thousand words - or million Space Bucks.
 
2011-06-14 02:14:44 AM
First thing I thought of was Pizza the Hut. Well done, Firststepsadoozie.
 
2011-06-14 03:35:39 AM
Jesus...Santa...same difference...
 
2011-06-14 03:58:28 AM
Looks like Santa.
 
2011-06-14 03:58:44 AM
FTFA "The Church of England is not very good at this sort of thing and if I'd done something sooner it could have been a bit of a money spinner."

Yah, unlike the Catholics. They can milk that crap like no one else.
 
2011-06-14 03:59:50 AM
One old church lady saw a face and maybe thought it was teh jebus. Other church members merely said "It might be a face." One janitor thinking way above his pay grade got rid of it before the stupid set in.

... and apparently, that's all the BBC needs to inflict the story onto the internet.

"BBC. It's not news. It's just bullocks."
 
2011-06-14 04:00:13 AM
FTFA: "The Church of England is not very good at this sort of thing and if I'd done something sooner it could have been a bit of a money spinner."

No shiat. Idol worship is best left to the Catholics. I think some pope edited out the part of the bible about the golden calf.
 
2011-06-14 04:05:45 AM
Oh God. Not this stupidity again.
 
2011-06-14 04:16:16 AM
That is not the face of Jesus.

news.bbcimg.co.uk
www.mrdowling.com

It is clearly Charles Darwin.
 
2011-06-14 04:26:30 AM
I like knowing that a church-type referred to the face of Jesus as "a bit of a money spinner."
 
2011-06-14 04:27:42 AM
Look's more like Mr. Creosote's head to me.
 
2011-06-14 04:28:17 AM
"Looks" *sigh*
 
2011-06-14 04:29:21 AM
If you want to see it, you will find it. That's the beauty of moronity.
 
2011-06-14 04:37:13 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2011-06-14 05:00:43 AM
I guess these religious sorts keep forgetting that Jesus was a middle eastern Jewish man. All of these images are generally depicting a man of European descent.
 
2011-06-14 05:14:54 AM
Its clearly a frost giant.
news.bbcimg.co.ukimages.epilogue.net
 
2011-06-14 05:16:04 AM
Guano!
i.ytimg.com
 
2011-06-14 05:18:23 AM
Someone should tell that priest to get a sock or a towel....
 
2011-06-14 05:33:59 AM
i.fanpix.net
 
2011-06-14 05:46:49 AM

jakewastaken: Someone should tell that priest to get a sock or a towel....


Yeah, really. And he should stop 'batin in the pulpit.
 
2011-06-14 06:20:36 AM
with that pointy head ...

bokertov.typepad.com

/hotlinked like a mofo
 
2011-06-14 06:36:40 AM
news.bbcimg.co.uk

Looks more like

adementedshark.files.wordpress.comor images.icnetwork.co.uk
 
2011-06-14 06:57:13 AM
Obviously the woman is a farking loon.
 
2011-06-14 06:58:05 AM
"Jesus...Santa...same difference..."

To you.
 
2011-06-14 07:04:53 AM
clicked on link, thought of Pizza The Hutt, came into thread, done in one...well done ! I leave happy
 
2011-06-14 07:27:35 AM
All hail the all-wise trash heap.
img860.imageshack.us
 
2011-06-14 07:37:25 AM
i.huffpost.com

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico
 
2011-06-14 08:02:26 AM

rodeofrog: I like knowing that a church-type referred to the face of Jesus as "a bit of a money spinner."


Church of England is a pretty moderate, mild religion who are better than most at promoting tolerance, understanding and not inflicting your religion on others. They allow female priests and a few homosexuals (although the latter is controversial, at least it's debated).

Unfortunately this also means no-one gets too excited about it and it's losing ground to mouth-breathing fundies imported from America (or Rome...).
 
2011-06-14 08:08:28 AM
Farkin' pareidolia, how does it work?
 
2011-06-14 08:08:33 AM
Its a taco! I see a taco!!! Praise jeeeeeebus!
 
2011-06-14 08:10:38 AM

Gordinho: clicked on link, thought of Pizza The Hutt, came into thread, done in one...well done ! I leave happy


Yup.
 
2011-06-14 08:46:42 AM

NannerPuss: Jesus...Santa...same difference...


What, are you nuts? Christ offers Conditional Eternal Happiness; Santa brings toys.
 
2011-06-14 08:55:45 AM
Jesus in melted wax (face -palm)...I hope these people don;t check the paper after they wipe their ass because I don;t want to see a photo of that.
 
2011-06-14 08:58:42 AM
"The Church of England is not very good at this sort of thing and if I'd done something sooner it could have been a bit of a money spinner."

Well that's pretty goddamn honest.
 
2011-06-14 09:04:34 AM
Although many within the small congregation saw a face some were unwilling to "sign up to more then that", she said.

WTF? What would you "sign up to" exactly?

And what does "more then that" mean?

This is lame.
 
2011-06-14 09:25:15 AM
It looks like Amber Lynn after filming a scene with Peter North.
 
2011-06-14 09:41:09 AM
Looks like Timothy Spall
 
2011-06-14 09:48:36 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

news.bbcimg.co.uk

/Hmmm...
 
2011-06-14 09:48:52 AM

logieal: FTFA "The Church of England is not very good at this sort of thing and if I'd done something sooner it could have been a bit of a Bagelox-99: FTFA: "The Church of England is not very good at this sort of thing and if I'd done something sooner it could have been a bit of a money spinner."

No shiat. Idol worship is best left to the Catholics. I think some pope edited out the part of the bible about the golden calf.

rodeofrog: I like knowing that a church-type referred to the face of Jesus as "a bit of a money spinner."

v0rtex: rodeofrog: I like knowing that a church-type referred to the face of Jesus as "a bit of a money spinner."

Church of England is a pretty moderate, mild religion who are better than most at promoting tolerance, understanding and not inflicting your religion on others. They allow female priests and a few homosexuals (although the latter is controversial, at least it's debated).

Unfortunately this also means no-one gets too excited about it and it's losing ground to mouth-breathing fundies imported from America (or Rome...).

Kome: "The Church of England is not very good at this sort of thing and if I'd done something sooner it could have been a bit of a money spinner."

Well that's pretty goddamn honest.

money spinner."

Yah, unlike the Catholics. They can milk that crap like no one else.


I'm glad Farkers got this one covered.

You know what the most disgusting thing is? The church warden said that because he truly believes that ripping off people to see wax is okay; the church is doing God's work and God wants them to have money. Only humanity could have the obscene amount of arrogance necessary to proclaim that our lives are full of meaning because a deity made us! And now there are groups of people (priests, rabbis, imams) who speak on behalf of that deity. And each one of them speaks on behalf of the true religion. And if you don't do what they say, the deity who loves you all unlimited-like will make you burn in hell for the rest of eternity.

Everyone who sees faces in grilled cheese and dripping water needs to read up on Pareidolia (pops). Yes, recognizing Jesus in random noise can be explained by evolution. Oh, the irony.

/can't believe grown people actually believe in this
 
2011-06-14 09:55:23 AM

Kurmudgeon: "Jesus...Santa...same difference..."

To you.


Really?

- Both have trademark beards
- Both are benevolent people who dedicated their lives to helping others
- Both are the faces of Christmas
- Both are worshipped by children
- Both have moral requirements that must be met to receive their blessings
- Both are fictitious
 
2011-06-14 09:56:20 AM

Lee Jackson Beauregard: Farkin' pareidolia, how does it work?


Ah, beat me by one hour :)
 
2011-06-14 10:04:11 AM

glassbottomboatcaptain: Kurmudgeon: "Jesus...Santa...same difference..."

To you.

Really?

- Both have trademark beards
- Both are benevolent people who dedicated their lives to helping others
- Both are the faces of Christmas
- Both are worshipped by children
- Both have moral requirements that must be met to receive their blessings
- Both are fictitious


No, he's right. People start believing in both at a young age, but once they hit puberty most realize Santa doesn't exist, only a few realize that about Jesus. Personally, I think Santa is totally cooler. God's teachings effectively condemn 67% of the world's population to eternal hell. Santa, however, doesn't actively punish you for being naughty. He just doesn't bring you presents.
 
2011-06-14 10:05:53 AM

veryunoriginal: Everyone who sees faces in grilled cheese and dripping water needs to read up on Pareidolia


I'm a little disappointed in the explainations of Pareidolia and Apophenia.

They're not a result of evolution (I mean technically EVERYTHING is the result of evolution, but not in the way they mean it), they're a result of the basic, fundamental mechanics of our brain, which is to accept stimuli, and interpret it. That part of your brain is working 24/7 to try to understand what the information your senses are telling it means, and when there is minimal information coming through, it fills in the blanks.

NOT an evolutionary defense mechanism.
It's how our brain works. It's how ANY brain works. Anything that has senses and a brain, will experience this to some extent.
 
2011-06-14 10:19:07 AM
God's teachings effectively condemn 67% of the world's population to eternal hell

More like 99%.
Most people forget about the shellfish clause.
And sustaining dick injuries, that one will get you too.
Also, the husband of every woman who has ever had a period, which is just about everyone.

You see folks, if you actually subscribe that tome of crazy as the word of God, you have to subscribe to it ALL. And despite what other Christians may have told you, you're not supposed to ignore the Old Testament as a now-invalid first revision. Because in the New Testament, Jesus Christ himself, aka that guy who came along and said he was God despite the Old Testament telling you quite specifically 'Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods', and that includes people who say 'it's ok, I'm technically I'm THAT God too, it's complicated lol, just trust me', says you cannot disobey the Old Testament.
 
2011-06-14 10:37:32 AM

glassbottomboatcaptain: a result of the basic, fundamental mechanics of our brain, which is to accept stimuli, and interpret it. That part of your brain is working 24/7 to try to understand what the information your senses are telling it means, and when there is minimal information coming through, it fills in the blanks.

And when that mechanism gets carried away, it can fill in the blanks with random shiat, and you end up with delusions.
 
2011-06-14 10:53:50 AM
Jesus Elephant Man appears in melted candle wax in English church.
 
2011-06-14 10:58:33 AM

veryunoriginal: glassbottomboatcaptain: Kurmudgeon: "Jesus...Santa...same difference..."

To you.

Really?

- Both have trademark beards
- Both are benevolent people who dedicated their lives to helping others
- Both are the faces of Christmas
- Both are worshipped by children
- Both have moral requirements that must be met to receive their blessings
- Both are fictitious

No, he's right. People start believing in both at a young age, but once they hit puberty most realize Santa doesn't exist, only a few realize that about Jesus. Personally, I think Santa is totally cooler. God's teachings effectively condemn 67% of the world's population to eternal hell. Santa, however, doesn't actively punish you for being naughty. He just doesn't bring you presents.


glassbottomboatcaptain: God's teachings effectively condemn 67% of the world's population to eternal hell

More like 99%.
Most people forget about the shellfish clause.
And sustaining dick injuries, that one will get you too.
Also, the husband of every woman who has ever had a period, which is just about everyone.

You see folks, if you actually subscribe that tome of crazy as the word of God, you have to subscribe to it ALL. And despite what other Christians may have told you, you're not supposed to ignore the Old Testament as a now-invalid first revision. Because in the New Testament, Jesus Christ himself, aka that guy who came along and said he was God despite the Old Testament telling you quite specifically 'Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods', and that includes people who say 'it's ok, I'm technically I'm THAT God too, it's complicated lol, just trust me', says you cannot disobey the Old Testament.


Krampus would fit into this Santa/Christ equivalence as Santa's Satan figure, though as far as I know the two never fight like God and Satan have in the Bible. Also, no one takes Krampus seriously anymore (I didn't know about him until the Venture Brothers Christmas Special, and honestly I had to google "evil xmas demon" to remember what Krampus' name was myself).
 
2011-06-14 11:04:57 AM

kent_eh: glassbottomboatcaptain: a result of the basic, fundamental mechanics of our brain, which is to accept stimuli, and interpret it. That part of your brain is working 24/7 to try to understand what the information your senses are telling it means, and when there is minimal information coming through, it fills in the blanks.

And when that mechanism gets carried away, it can fill in the blanks with random shiat, and you end up with delusions.


Personally, I think a need to feel important helps carry that away. Religion, political partisanship, activists, conspiracy theories, serial killers, imo all owe something to people trying to find a way to feel unique and important in a world where they are a raindrop in an ocean.
 
2011-06-14 11:09:27 AM

Crotchrocket Slim: honestly I had to google "evil xmas demon" to remember what Krampus' name was myself


I believe you are referring to the Great Beast of the Sears, who seeks to disrupt Christmas cheer with out-dated and ill-fitting clothes.
 
2011-06-14 12:01:49 PM

glassbottomboatcaptain: NOT an evolutionary defense mechanism.


I've always thought that it was a trait that was selected for. That is to say the person who recognized faces in the dark bushes in the night survived because those faces used to be mean people who wanted to sneak up on him and kill him. Or something.
 
2011-06-14 12:45:47 PM
Retarded. Utterly retarded.
 
2011-06-14 12:55:24 PM

glassbottomboatcaptain: God's teachings effectively condemn 67% of the world's population to eternal hell

More like 99%.
Most people forget about the shellfish clause.
And sustaining dick injuries, that one will get you too.
Also, the husband of every woman who has ever had a period, which is just about everyone.

You see folks, if you actually subscribe that tome of crazy as the word of God, you have to subscribe to it ALL. And despite what other Christians may have told you, you're not supposed to ignore the Old Testament as a now-invalid first revision. Because in the New Testament, Jesus Christ himself, aka that guy who came along and said he was God despite the Old Testament telling you quite specifically 'Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods', and that includes people who say 'it's ok, I'm technically I'm THAT God too, it's complicated lol, just trust me', says you cannot disobey the Old Testament.


You must have missed the whole point of the New Testament.

Thanks for playing, though!
 
2011-06-14 01:08:19 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: You must have missed the whole point of the New Testament.

Thanks for playing, though!


Please, elaborate. What was the whole point of the New Testament?
 
2011-06-14 01:19:01 PM
Actually scratch that, I know what the point of the New Testament is:

If you write stuff down in a book, and say God wrote it, people will believe it, and for some inexplicable reason, which is completely contrary to logic, the older the book is, the more likely people are to believe it. BECAUSE THOSE GUYS WHO LIVED THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO KNEW SO MUCH MORE THAN US AMIRITE?!

Have you bled your humors lately by the way? Because it's a great way to get balance the elements inside your body. I suspect you have too much fire, and not enough earth.
 
2011-06-14 04:33:59 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: You must have missed the whole point of the New Testament.

Thanks for playing, though!


As you appear to have missed the part of the gospels where Jesus said he came to reaffirm the old testament.

Nice try, scooter.
 
2011-06-14 04:44:18 PM

Kome: AverageAmericanGuy: You must have missed the whole point of the New Testament.

Thanks for playing, though!

As you appear to have missed the part of the gospels where Jesus said he came to reaffirm the old testament.

Nice try, scooter.


Fulfill, not reaffirm.

But hey, actually knowing the Bible is harder than misquoting a few verses.
 
2011-06-14 06:26:55 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: But hey, actually knowing the Bible is harder than misquoting a few verses.


Oh, if you only realized just how much that statement is saturated with irony.

Perhaps you could enlighten me, and show me where specifically in the bible it says that is now ok to ignore the rules of the Old Testament?

And please keep this in mind:
"Know this first of all, that there is no prophecy of scripture that is a matter of personal interpretation, for no prophecy ever came through human will; but rather human beings moved by the holy Spirit spoke under the influence of God."

So if it isn't written plainly on the page, then it's not God's word, it's YOUR word, aka it's bullshiat.
Dumb, boring, pedantic bullshiat, dreamed up in the mind of a monkey, all so he can convince himself that he's not going to blink out of existence someday.
 
2011-06-14 08:38:44 PM

glassbottomboatcaptain: AverageAmericanGuy: But hey, actually knowing the Bible is harder than misquoting a few verses.

Oh, if you only realized just how much that statement is saturated with irony.

Perhaps you could enlighten me, and show me where specifically in the bible it says that is now ok to ignore the rules of the Old Testament?

And please keep this in mind:
"Know this first of all, that there is no prophecy of scripture that is a matter of personal interpretation, for no prophecy ever came through human will; but rather human beings moved by the holy Spirit spoke under the influence of God."

So if it isn't written plainly on the page, then it's not God's word, it's YOUR word, aka it's bullshiat.
Dumb, boring, pedantic bullshiat, dreamed up in the mind of a monkey, all so he can convince himself that he's not going to blink out of existence someday.


Wow. You're right at the edge of understanding what the New Testament is, yet you can't recognize it.
 
2011-06-14 10:43:34 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. You're right at the edge of understanding what the New Testament is, yet you can't recognize it.


Apparently you don't know either lol.

Nice troll, anyway. I give it a 4/10
 
2011-06-14 11:45:34 PM

glassbottomboatcaptain: AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. You're right at the edge of understanding what the New Testament is, yet you can't recognize it.

Apparently you don't know either lol.

Nice troll, anyway. I give it a 4/10


Somehow your ignorance makes me a troll. Did I find my way over to the Politics tab by accident?
 
2011-06-15 04:02:28 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: You must have missed the whole point [my particular sect's interpretation] of the New Testament.


Fixed for greater accuracy
 
2011-06-15 12:11:05 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: glassbottomboatcaptain: AverageAmericanGuy: Wow. You're right at the edge of understanding what the New Testament is, yet you can't recognize it.

Apparently you don't know either lol.

Nice troll, anyway. I give it a 4/10

Somehow your ignorance makes me a troll. Did I find my way over to the Politics tab by accident?


Nah, I'm just pointing out the indisputable fact that you're talking out of your ass. You've claimed to have some understanding of the New Testament that I don't, yet you refuse to indicate what you think that is.

You essentially attempted to puff yourself up, realized you had nothing to back it up with, and have fallen back on the old 'you must find the answer yourself' rouse to avoid admitting that you were blowing smoke.

It's classic charlatanism, which is no surprise because that's essentially what your entire religion is. A bunch of people lying to themselves and everyone else.
 
2011-06-15 12:23:52 PM
If you're really interested, I suggest you read up on the "New Covenant", Jeremiah, Hebrews, and Romans.

That should give you a better understanding of what the New Covenant (aka New Testament) is and how it relates to the Old Covenant.

I'm not here to teach you. Since you are interested in religion only enough to mock it, it's not really important for you to know that much.
 
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