armoredbulldozer: We do a bukkake break on our district secretary from 10-10:15 am. All she asks for is nylons, chocolate, and cigarettes.

Are you living during World War II?

btraz70: I'm a little light on funds right now.....

95 dollars is all I'd need...

So, why aim so low?

LOL. That first "so" did so not need to be there.

Haven't read all comments, but I love the statements that various people (I assume mostly male) would take $95 million for what happened to the woman in this story.

Of course, nobody's offering to pay them anything for the described scenarios. And nobody offered this woman any money for them, either. She didn't get paid for what happened. The incidents were forced on her by her boss. A court has to force the company to pay it (and as the linked story says, it won't be $95 million, it'll be about $40 million) to keep something like this from happening to someone else. Big difference.

The courts have not decided that getting hit on the head with some guy's junk, then being ejaculated on is worth $95 million or $40 million. Doing something to punish the guy who does stuff like this to employees is what's worth $40 million. Or rather, not having to pay $40 million to an ex-employee and her lawyer because you're such a poorly run company you don't understand how to treat employees decently.

unLurked: And the part where he held her down and jerked off on her? Where's that sit in the "Just Funnin'" to "Rape" scale?

Can you at least concede that full-penetration rape is a more serious violation than what happened to this woman? Do you know of ANY rape victims who have ever been awarded $95 million?

No one is condoning what this guy did by any means, but it just doesn't justify anything close to $95 million.

honk: unLurked: And the part where he held her down and jerked off on her? Where's that sit in the "Just Funnin'" to "Rape" scale?

Can you at least concede that full-penetration rape is a more serious violation than what happened to this woman? Do you know of ANY rape victims who have ever been awarded $95 million?

Years of reading fark has taught me that making rape jokes is as bad as raping someone.

True story.

Also (I am not a lawyer, hopefully an actual lawyer will chime in, if he/she hasn't already), people don't generally get multimillion-dollar amounts in sex harassment cases unless the harassment has gone on for awhile and the company did almost nothing in response.

If the company had responded promptly and properly in what I can only assume was a pattern of harassment before the actual assault (and yeah, the incidents described were assault), they wouldn't be asked to pay $40 million now.

All they had to do was fire the guy after the first couple incidents before this assault (and I'm guessing there were more than a couple). But apparently, protecting this asshole (who, if he was a manager, could have been easily replaced) was more important to them than encouraging him (through their inaction) to treat his employees with respect.

I meant "encouraging him (through some action on their part) to treat his employees with respect" in the last bit there.

haterade69: I do love that the majority of the public is extremely upset about... the victim getting so much money. The right wing truly has done an incredible job sucking all the humanity, life, and resources out of America.

Believe it or not, there are people out there who hold honest arguments for/against current tort reform without inanely dragging emotional politics into it.

RE honk
"Can you at least concede that full-penetration rape is a more serious violation than what happened to this woman? Do you know of ANY rape victims who have ever been awarded $95 million? No one is condoning what this guy did by any means, but it just doesn't justify anything close to $95 million."

Yeah, he should have gone for the trifecta with surprise buttsex. THEN it'd be worth $95 million. Because this is all about what HE did. Not what the company they both worked for FAILED to do.

That's why she's getting the money from him, and not the company.

KAVORKA: Considering that this a rent-to-own furniture company, probably the lowest scum on the planet -- I hope they go bankrupt.

That's not what you said when mom redid the basement for you.

HST's Dead Carcass: Ender's: MugzyBrown: How exactly does one hit somebody in the head with your penis?

There're some logistics here I'm missing.

Ok, but this is gonna get kinky.

Imagine a chair. Now I want you to imagine a girl sitting in it. Now imagine a guy with his pants around his ankles standing up.

I was gonna go with the lesser known, but, ultimately more hilarious "leap and swing""scream and leap".



Approves/Got nothin'...

Julieahni: btraz70: I'm a little light on funds right now.....

95 dollars is all I'd need...

So, why aim so low?

Hey why be greedy? 95 bucks would buy me a nice lunch AND still get me a 1/2 tank of 87 Octane.....

strangeguitar: Why would they print a pic of the victim?

As a warning...

I'm on the side of the employee on this one and although the judgment is excessive and will get knocked down to something more reasonable I'm astounded that a company like this can be brought to justice and yet employees from Haliburton got away with rape and kidnapping. Then again it didn't hurt that they had an office space in Cheney's pants.

alabasterblack: strangeguitar: Why would they print a pic of the victim?

As a warning... consumer-grade fap fodder

btraz70: Julieahni: btraz70: I'm a little light on funds right now.....

95 dollars is all I'd need...

So, why aim so low?

Hey why be greedy? 95 bucks would buy me a nice lunch AND still get me a 1/2 tank of 87 Octane.....

I hear that. But I also want an iPad.

whosits_112: HST's Dead Carcass: Ender's: MugzyBrown: How exactly does one hit somebody in the head with your penis?

There're some logistics here I'm missing.

Ok, but this is gonna get kinky.

Imagine a chair. Now I want you to imagine a girl sitting in it. Now imagine a guy with his pants around his ankles standing up.

I was gonna go with the lesser known, but, ultimately more hilarious "leap and swing""scream and leap".



Approves/Got nothin'...




If only she had this resting on her shoulder, hilarity would have ensued.

brigid_fitch: I would think the jury meant for it to punitive to Aaron's for not following through on the girl's initial call. Had they investigated like they're supposed to, then the penis-whacking & jacking-off incidents may have been avoided.

But it says in the article that he was harassing her since she started working there in 2005. She called it in "months before" the day he finally pulled out his junk, but obviously she didn't continue to pursue it if she stuck around while it continued instead of keeping on the company with a followup complaint.

So, after a few more months of her accepting his behavior rather than trying to make sure HR didn't forget about her, he pulls out his meatbag and whacks her on the head with it.

What does she do? Call the cops? Go home and lawyer up? Nope... she sticks around working for the guy, leading him to believe that she doesn't mind his junk in her face, or at least isn't going to do anything about it.

So later in the day, hot in the nuts from slapping her in the head with his cock, he grabs her and starts playing with himself. You know what? If she put up with it for a year and only called HR once, which if they didn't take action he probably didn't even know about, she shares in the responsibility for her own workplace safety. He probably just figured she was playing hard to get.

Then, she waits until TWO YEARS LATER to file the lawsuit? I'm pretty sure just about any lawyer would have JUMPED on the case if he held her down and whacked off all over her. Why didn't she sue the company when it happened?

I'm not saying his actions were appropriate, he was her boss and shouldn't be jerking off on anyone while at work much less one of his employees - but lets face it, something just doesn't add up with this story.

honk: unLurked: And the part where he held her down and jerked off on her? Where's that sit in the "Just Funnin'" to "Rape" scale?

Can you at least concede that full-penetration rape is a more serious violation than what happened to this woman? Do you know of ANY rape victims who have ever been awarded $95 million?

No one is condoning what this guy did by any means, but it just doesn't justify anything close to $95 million.

Never having been raped and/or held down and came on (without consent, I mean), I wouldn't know. I'd guess, though, that it's depend on the person. Some people would be more "injured" by a slur than a punch in the mouth.

But that's neither here nor there. She did not "win" $95 million -- the company got penalized $95 million. Hopefully, she'll use the money in some positive way related to the situation at hand, but even if she doesn't, the company still has to pay.

The scum bag should be jailed, however. Let him get held down and came on by a few inmates.

miss diminutive: strangeguitar: Why would they print a pic of the victim?

So Farkers know whether they can fap to this story or not?

FTA: Nearly a year after she was hired, she claimed, he came up to her in the stock room and whacked her on the head with his penis.

Not that sexual assault is in any way funny, but this mental image made me burst out laughing

Me too. The thought of him giving her the surprise mushroom stamp... ahahahahah!!!!

Also, she's kinda pretty. I would have jerked it on her.

Even if the only part of the copy of the lawsuit is correct, Aarons Rents is screwed.

$95M is nuts though. Give her the $75,000 she wanted, fire the manager and district manager and move on.

That's a stupidly ridiculous amount of money. Why not just make it $infinity and be done with it?

For $95M I'd let a dozen guys with huge schlongs whack me over the head. Heck, I'd do it for $9.5M.

$95M?

That is enough money to bomb Libya for a month!

You have to realize that the company plus insurance is going to liable for this and not the individual. With rewards like this, medicare fraud is beginning to look like old&busted in the scam department. I am not saying the "boss" was actually in on this, but $95 million is more than most lottery winnings. I would be careful about assigning large payouts like this if I were a jury because of the fraud that could come about as a result. I'm sure Madoff approves! I sincerely hope there is a successful appeal.

By the way, sexual harrassment is even more BS than hate crime legislation, in my opinion. To coin a cliche, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

miss diminutive: I predict this thread will turn into a list of what degrading things people would be willing to endure for 95 million dollars.

And most of these posts will end with the phrase "and I'm not even gay!".

I'd vote Republican for $95 million and I'm not even gay!

I'd allow that for half price!

offmymeds: I'd vote Republican for $95 million and I'm not even gay!

Well duh, if you had $95 million you'd suddenly have a reason to vote Republican.

Was he hot?

Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?

zipdog: The award was only for $5 million, but they're paying it off over 20 years at an outrageous interest rate.

You sir, are my hero.

Thank you for this.

SpeshilEdjukashin: Like most Daily News stories, this one is weak. It doesn't mention anything about criminal charges against the guy, which is the first thing I'd do if I was sexually assaulted. It does mention he hasn't worked there since the incident. So what is the $95M for, HR forgetting to return a phone call about inappropriate nicknames?

/>100% straight, but I'd just like to go on record that I'd blow another guy for $95M.

Fixed that for ya.

Harry Freakstorm: Dear Penthouse Magazine,

I really enjoy your magazine and when I'm at work, I look at it while I pretend to go over spreadsheets and reports. I have always been a fan of your Letters section. Little did I know that someday I would have something happen to me that would be Penthouse Letters material.

I work in a large store and there's a hot chick who has been working here for about a year. Every chance I get, I am there to help her up a ladder or steady her by grabbing her butt. She always seems to be appreciative and gives a cute little 'coo' when I touch her. But until recently, that's as far as we could go.

That all changed last week when we were closing up. Everyone else had left the store and I found her back in the supply room moving boxes. Well, just as quietly as a mouse, I snuck up on her, whipped out the little manager and slapped her on the head with it. I then stole back to my office but I know she had a least three orgasms. I mean she was screaming! I'm just glad the other people had left. She was so loud!

If all goes well, I plan to give her a little one on one in the office next week. Well, gotta wrap this up. Corporate is calling. I bet I'm getting promoted.

Best. Laugh. Ever.

95 million.... I'd blow a hobo for half that....

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Match Game 2011. Let's get started.

The first question is: St. Louis woman awarded $95 million after former boss allegedly masturbated on her __________.

Platapus.

I kinda like the idea, forget where it's from, that damages should be split into actual vs punitive, and punitive should go to the state. Actual damages would probably increase to make sure a winning plaintiff gets something, and punitive would attempt to more accurately reflect how poorly the defendant behaved. Plus lawyers, whatever. This chick would have gotten a cool million and maybe 5 million to the state. She just flat out doesn't deserve 95mil for what happened to her. And I'm not even particularly pro-rape. I mean there's two sides to every story, right?

KatjaMouse: I'm astounded that a company like this can be brought to justice and yet employees from Haliburton got away with rape and kidnapping.

Because Haliburton was raping and murdering for freedom, dammit.