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(New York Daily News)   Most people would probably allow this for $95 million   (nydailynews.com ) divider line
    More: Sick, St. Louis, St. Louis Post-Dispatch  
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43843 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2011 at 7:26 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



239 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-06-13 07:56:44 AM  
I let this happen for a million, then find 95 millionaires
 
2011-06-13 07:56:44 AM  
This is a tough year for Aaron's. They're also being sued for putting tracking software - with image capture - on all the computers they rent.

/Rent from Aaron's, have your picture sent to the front office every now and then.
//Reutiman's going to have to find another sponsor
///NASCAR's going to have to give up the Lucky Dog free pass
 
2011-06-13 07:58:37 AM  
FTA: Nearly a year after she was hired, she claimed, he came up to her in the stock room and whacked her on the head with his penis


Did anybody else get a chuckle out of that? **THWAP**
 
2011-06-13 07:59:46 AM  
Who knew people paid so much for Bukkake?
 
2011-06-13 08:00:14 AM  

archichris: lol, something similar happened at a crappy pizza place i worked at almost 20 years ago....



You don't give an opening like that without a cool story, bro!
 
2011-06-13 08:01:30 AM  

StaleCoffee: I don't hate my life enough to let someone hit me in the head with his penis and then masturbate on me for 95 million dollars.

Then again it hasn't been offered so I dunno.


Jesus, are you one of the Koch brothers? For 95 mil, I'd do the masturbation/head slap thing for 8 hours a day for a year. For a one-time shot, I'd do it for 9.5 thousand.easily. I guess I hate my life.
 
2011-06-13 08:02:14 AM  

miss diminutive: I predict this thread will turn into a list of what degrading things people would be willing to endure for 95 million dollars.

And most of these posts will end with the phrase "and I'm not even gay!".


I predict the Republicans will add the "and I'm not even gay" part. Just because.
 
2011-06-13 08:03:23 AM  
I'd go full bakkake for 95 million.
 
2011-06-13 08:04:03 AM  

MugzyBrown: How exactly does one hit somebody in the head with your penis?

There're some logistics here I'm missing.


Well, and how do you hold down a grown woman with 1 hand on her head (from TFA) and obviously 1 on his junk (since he was able to aim(?)) without her being able to get away?

Just seems questionable. Must have been good evidence or something. Or the man was sitting on her and 300lbs.
 
2011-06-13 08:06:08 AM  
We are all whores. We're just dickering about the price.
 
2011-06-13 08:06:26 AM  
Alphax
I'm in St. Louis, never heard of the company in question. Perhaps she was just from here, and worked for them in another state.


You probably don't live in their target market. They just opened a large store in Belleville, Illinois. Unlike Rent-Center, they offer a wider range of stuff that you can rent to own (that means pay twice as much for it).

When I was going to school and working in a hotel, this maid was a big fan of the rent to own places. Her attitude - and I guess it's their target market - is that she wanted to have it now.

Her: "I just got a color tv. It's going to cost me $25 a week for 2 years.
Me: "You could save the $25 a week and in two months you'd have enough for a decent used TV."
Her: "But it's new and I want it now."
 
2011-06-13 08:08:26 AM  

mcnguyen: StaleCoffee: I don't hate my life enough to let someone hit me in the head with his penis and then masturbate on me for 95 million dollars.

Then again it hasn't been offered so I dunno.

Jesus, are you one of the Koch brothers? For 95 mil, I'd do the masturbation/head slap thing for 8 hours a day for a year. For a one-time shot, I'd do it for 9.5 thousand.easily. I guess I hate my life.


For 95 million it'd definitely be a debate but for less than ten grand you just need to throw in some meth and we've got the next republican candidate.
 
2011-06-13 08:09:00 AM  

JackalRabbit: Personal dignity is worth more than $95 million dollars. It doesn't really have a monetary amount that can be assigned to it.


Lies. Dirty, rotten lies.

Also, 95 million dollars? WTF? I want to slap the jurors in the face with my dick, thats just ridiculous.
 
2011-06-13 08:09:49 AM  
Boy to Girl: "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"
Girl thinks about it for a minute... "sure"

Boy: "Would you sleep with me for a dollar?"
Girl slaps boy: "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
Boy: "We've already established that. Now we're only haggling over the price."
 
2011-06-13 08:11:12 AM  
We do a bukkake break on our district secretary from 10-10:15 am. All she asks for is nylons, chocolate, and cigarettes.
 
2011-06-13 08:11:28 AM  

LowbrowDeluxe: Be honest with yourselves. Most of you would do it for the cost of a plasma TV. Punitive damages aren't about how big a whore most of you are.


Plasma is for the unwashed masses that buy their TV at wallmart. LED is the way to go for a superior display.
 
2011-06-13 08:13:13 AM  
Came for CCTV surveillance video. Leave disappointed

/for a merely 0.1% of the $95 million I would let her masturbate on top of me and whack me with her tits
 
2011-06-13 08:14:32 AM  
Most people probably would 'allow' it. But that's not what happened.
 
2011-06-13 08:15:47 AM  
Dear Penthouse Magazine,

I really enjoy your magazine and when I'm at work, I look at it while I pretend to go over spreadsheets and reports. I have always been a fan of your Letters section. Little did I know that someday I would have something happen to me that would be Penthouse Letters material.

I work in a large store and there's a hot chick who has been working here for about a year. Every chance I get, I am there to help her up a ladder or steady her by grabbing her butt. She always seems to be appreciative and gives a cute little 'coo' when I touch her. But until recently, that's as far as we could go.

That all changed last week when we were closing up. Everyone else had left the store and I found her back in the supply room moving boxes. Well, just as quietly as a mouse, I snuck up on her, whipped out the little manager and slapped her on the head with it. I then stole back to my office but I know she had a least three orgasms. I mean she was screaming! I'm just glad the other people had left. She was so loud!

If all goes well, I plan to give her a little one on one in the office next week. Well, gotta wrap this up. Corporate is calling. I bet I'm getting promoted.
 
2011-06-13 08:15:52 AM  
Court wants less dick from Richard Moore.
 
2011-06-13 08:16:57 AM  

strangeguitar: Why would they print a pic of the victim?


No criminal charges. That's the standard most media outlets use.
 
2011-06-13 08:18:58 AM  

DarthBrooks: More like MINUS attorney fees. Tort fees to the attorneys are usually a percentage of the payout.


They're capped based on a federal law that creates a limit PLUS attorney's fees.

/and I'm not even gay!
 
2011-06-13 08:20:55 AM  
Anyone here willing to make some money? No need to go to court. We can settle out of it for this amount

www.laurius.lt
 
2011-06-13 08:21:09 AM  
OK guys how is this?
The guy who did it is iunvolved too. They agree before it that they will split the money after the thing happens. He does it with his p___ and then gets fired. He doesnt lose the 95 million dollars, he GETS say 30 million. Great idea you have to admit.
 
2011-06-13 08:22:30 AM  
Good for her. If the company followed simple guidelines that EVERY company has about handling these things, then they wouldn't have to pay her 95 million dollars.
 
2011-06-13 08:23:47 AM  
Some low ranking file manager should not be allowed to bankrupt a major company.
I would understand the ruling if a C level manager did this.
 
2011-06-13 08:24:08 AM  

KStDrew: Anyone here willing to make some money? No need to go to court. We can settle out of it for this amount


Probably best to steer clear of any nation that deems a pile of 3 rocks emblematic enough to symbolize the full faith and credit of their currency.
 
2011-06-13 08:24:41 AM  

BesiktasBoy83: OK guys how is this?
The guy who did it is iunvolved too. They agree before it that they will split the money after the thing happens. He does it with his p___ and then gets fired. He doesnt lose the 95 million dollars, he GETS say 30 million. Great idea you have to admit.


I'll do it for 25 million.
 
2011-06-13 08:24:49 AM  
 
2011-06-13 08:25:10 AM  
First, bosses like that target women who are lacking in self-confidence. I would guess the lawsuit only came after she cried about it to her friends/family/support system.

Second, when Aarons refused to do anything about it, they essentially said it was done in the name of the company. $95 million for the whole company to masturbate on you is not that much.

That said, it IS a lot of money. But she probably won't see much of it.
 
2011-06-13 08:25:23 AM  
Huh... I guess someone does beat Aaron's.

Though, nobody beats off like an Aaron's manager, apparently.
 
2011-06-13 08:27:06 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-13 08:28:09 AM  
The verdict was actually for $90,000, but when it was split into weekly payments, it adds up fast.
 
2011-06-13 08:28:24 AM  

CokeBear: Boy to Girl: "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"
Girl thinks about it for a minute... "sure"

Boy: "Would you sleep with me for a dollar?"
Girl slaps boy: "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
Boy: "We've already established that. Now we're only haggling over the price."


That was either Winston Churchill or George Bernard Shaw. The setting was a dinner party and the girl was a prominent socialite.
 
2011-06-13 08:28:30 AM  
I'm pretty sure there's a difference between getting compensated for being sexually assaulted and agreeing to be sexually objectified for money. So no matter what I would or wouldn't let someone do to me for obscene amounts of cash, nobody will ever agree to masturbate on my chest for millions of dollars.

/Unfortunately for my wallet
//Not for my dignity
 
2011-06-13 08:28:36 AM  

zenobia: Second, when Aarons refused to do anything about it,


Didn't they fire the bauss?
 
2011-06-13 08:30:06 AM  

Another Government Employee: haterade69: I do love that the majority of the public is extremely upset about... the victim getting so much money. The right wing truly has done an incredible job sucking all the humanity, life, and resources out of America.

It really is an insane amount.

The sad part about it is the lady will be lucky to see a quarter of it after legal fees and taxes. Which is why the jury pumped it up.


I don't know if the amount is insane, but I doubt that the primary motive of the jury in establishing the award was to consider taxes. Even her lawyer states that this went beyond tort limits and will be reduced. There is also a big misunderstanding about these types of awards; the famous McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit, for example, was reduced from almost $3M to $640K by the trial judge (i.e., not in an appeal), and the parties came to a negotiated private settlement instead of appealing. These awards express jury outrage at the behavior of, in this case, the organization, not the manager. After having sat through innumerable sexual harassment in the workplace videos, I'm sickened by the idea that incidents like those described were not handled properly.

CokeBear: Boy to Girl: "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"
Girl thinks about it for a minute... "sure"
...
Boy: "We've already established that. Now we're only haggling over the price."


This wasn't funny any of the three times it was used earlier in the threads.It's like the old man/woman key/lock joke about promiscuity. It's only funny once at most, and we've all heard it.

mcnguyen: StaleCoffee: I don't hate my life enough to let someone hit me in the head with his penis and then masturbate on me for 95 million dollars.
...
Jesus, are you one of the Koch brothers? For 95 mil, I'd do the masturbation/head slap thing for 8 hours a day for a year. For a one-time shot, I'd do it for 9.5 thousand.easily. I guess I hate my life.


For that kind of money, I'd let the Koch brother do this to me, and then use every penny to trounce teabagger candidates in the next election. And I'm not even gay.

Seriously, though, I don't think it's a question of hating your life; it's whether or not you think you would be happier or more fulfilled if you had $95M, and to what degree.
 
2011-06-13 08:33:26 AM  

Gwendolyn: What in the hell was the jury thinking? You want the award to be big enough they fix their practices but $95 million + fees is ludicrous.


TFA says that the award will most likely be capped at less than half of that. So, it's one of those deals where you have to ask for more than what's appropriate, in order to get what's actually appropriate.
 
2011-06-13 08:34:18 AM  
Juries are out of control. I don't feel so bad because Rent to Own stores rip off their customers. They should award 3/4 of that to Aaron's customers.
 
2011-06-13 08:34:32 AM  
My boss is a hot female. I'd pay here $950 to let her reinact this with a strapon.
 
2011-06-13 08:38:06 AM  

SJKebab: BesiktasBoy83: OK guys how is this?
The guy who did it is iunvolved too. They agree before it that they will split the money after the thing happens. He does it with his p___ and then gets fired. He doesnt lose the 95 million dollars, he GETS say 30 million. Great idea you have to admit.

I'll do it for 25 million.


OK are you a girl?!
 
2011-06-13 08:39:08 AM  
FTFA: Ashley Alford was awarded $95 million in compensation from The Aaron's Inc.,

This was compensatory damages, not punitive? I think not.

He could have killed her and eaten the body, and not gotten that much compensation. This award is ridiculously out of line.
 
2011-06-13 08:39:51 AM  
Hello, everyone, and welcome to Match Game 2011. Let's get started.

The first question is: St. Louis woman awarded $95 million after former boss allegedly masturbated on her __________.
 
2011-06-13 08:40:51 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Match Game 2011. Let's get started.

The first question is: St. Louis woman awarded $95 million after former boss allegedly masturbated on her __________.


hamster.
 
2011-06-13 08:42:46 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: St. Louis woman awarded $95 million after former boss allegedly masturbated on her __________.


www.tvornottv.net
 
2011-06-13 08:43:29 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Match Game 2011. Let's get started.

The first question is: St. Louis woman awarded $95 million after former boss allegedly masturbated on her __________.


break?
 
2011-06-13 08:43:37 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Match Game 2011. Let's get started.

The first question is: St. Louis woman awarded $95 million after former boss allegedly masturbated on her __________.


Driver's license picture.
 
2011-06-13 08:43:41 AM  
Who the heck takes a dick to the head and then stays to finish their work? Guess, unless your in the porn industry or a prosty-tute...
 
2011-06-13 08:44:32 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Match Game 2011. Let's get started.

The first question is: St. Louis woman awarded $95 million after former boss allegedly masturbated on her __________.


home.comcast.net
 
2011-06-13 08:44:51 AM  

HST's Dead Carcass: I was gonna go with the lesser known, but, ultimately more hilarious "leap and swing".


There was a video I watched recently about humanity all over the world and in it they had a picture of this kid jumping from a row boat with a huge bamboo spear to skewer a whale.

I really wanna post that picture right now after reading that.
 
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