ChasingPi: As a fellow schizoaffective man, it kind of sucks he is going out as a delusional laughing stock, even with his multiple millions of dollars. I hate waiting hours in line to get the mostly rotten food the Christians give me. I hate being impoverished because I am mentally ill, and picking cigarette butts off the street and constantly trying to figure out how I am going to feed my son and pay people back. Screw it. This guy made bank off his mental illness and has already made it to 89. He has my respect, though I wouldn't trade my sanity (as schizo if fixable now-a-days with a pill or two) for his money. I would totally rip off idiots too though, and I think the sad thing is he isn't a dick, and honestly is just too crazy and senile to know he is a bullshiatter. Christian charity is a joke. It's just the trash they don't want usually. Let the f'ers be tricked into giving a crazy guy who probably can't work their money. He got a bit greedy with it, but in the end, I think I see some justice here from the opposite side of the coin the rest of fark doesn't see. This crazy guy made millions and probably had a mostly happy life. Shepherds eat sheep. It's what they do. I need a flock.

*gives a giant internet hug*

Those of you that believe in God/Jesus.

Jesus died once.

I've been dead twice.

Jesus is too much of a pussy to return, you 'Christians' scared him off.

Relatively Obscure: CanisNoir: I'd prefer 16:20

Also, I just got this reference. I'm so lame even Jesus can't fix it.

heh, pretty good.

omegazeto: Relatively Obscure: CanisNoir: Not when taken in context to the original "Pro Tip" to which I responded which was "If prayer worked nobody would need to bother". Essentially meaning that in the original posters mind, prayer is a majic fix all and that simply praying to god for a miracle is all that is required for said miracle to happen.

You mean like "Ask, and it will be given to you?" Yeah, who'd believe that?

In order to bring in that out-of-context quote you'd have to ASSUME that when Jesus said that, he meant "go beg God for it".
He definitely was, though, encouraging people not to remain silent about their needs out of some sort of social/religious shame.

Ahh yes, the out-of-context argument. Well, here's the context:

{7:6} Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither
cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them
under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
{7:7} Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall
find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: {7:8} For
every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth;
and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. {7:9} Or what
man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give
him a stone? {7:10} Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a
serpent? {7:11} If ye then, being evil, know how to give
good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your
Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask
him?

So, where's the missing context here?

I know this argument, I used to make it myself. Context is simply a label for the process of reading what you want to into the verses rather than taking them at face value. Theologians take it a step further by scouring the bible for verses that they can use to build a framework to support whatever interpretation they ultimately desire.

This mechanism is a large part of the reason that there are so many disparate denominations of Christianity, each interpreting the scriptures to fit their own intentions and insisting that the contextual arguments they've constructed to validate their interpretations are correct.

Ask several baptists and catholics what they think the literal meaning and process of communion is and you'll get a a host of answers, each claiming to be the correct interpretation and context for the ritual of communion. Answers ranging from literal transubstantiation to spiritual communion to simple symbolic significance. All having verses they will quote that they insist are the correct context for understanding communion.

This is nothing new. About the only fresh factor is that more atheists are becomming out-spoken about the absurdities of the bible when read at face value, without filtering them through contextual interpretations that fit any number of denominational prejudices.

But there are others who probably refute the context argument better than I:

Link

Link

Link

Link

And for grins, here's some REAL out of context for you:

Link

Drama Queen.

Lucky I read the article - I assumed it meant he'd had it before the doomsday prediction.

Scifientologist: Context is simply a label for the process of reading what you want to into the verses rather than taking them at face value.

But if you take the Bible at face value -- and you're crazy enough to believe that sort of nonsense -- you'll end up like Fred Phelps.

glassbottomboatcaptain: Active introvert: omegazeto: cygnusx13: Delawheredad: While I do believe in God. However, I think he rarely interferes in the day to day affairs of planet earth on the other hand I also think that he has a wicked and very under-appreciated sense of humour. This is evidence of both of those aspects of his personality

I'm sad that you've so thoroughly deluded yourself. Reality is a great place to live.

Sure it is, but not without God. That's only half of reality.

I recently suffred a very devastating event in my life. I was raised a christian. I don't go to church but I have always believed church was not were God was, it was a placed to remember and meditate on his teachings. God was in your heart and as long as you kept him they, you served him. During my crisis, I prayed often, at points begging him to hear. He did nothing for me. There are so many ways that the situation could have gone but he did nothing to protect me. He was ok with letting me suffer. So what do I believe now?

Why would he protect you? If he protected everyone who asked for it, who prayed for it, which is pretty much everyone....then no one would ever die....our actions would be without consequence...the planet would fill with people, resources would be spread too thin...

How farking stupid are you? Do you completely lack the ability to think things through? Furthermore, the fact that you think your service to God somehow indebts him to you is farking disgusting. THIS is why people hate Christians so much....you people are self centered, and revolting. I mean EVERYONE is self-centered to a degree....but to be so self centered to think that the creater of the farking universe should answer your beck and call like some kind of celestial wish vending machine?

fark you.

Ahh.....wow. The whole point of my post was that I have come to new realizations that my beliefs are probably wrong and that I need to re-examine my way of thinking. I don't know if there is a God now or if he even has a hand in everyday life. But hay thanks for calling me names.

God always answers prayers. The answer usually is "No. Suck it up, kwitcherbiatchin and get back to work."

RoxieRoo: God always answers prayers. The answer usually is "No. Suck it up, kwitcherbiatchin and get back to work."

This. This right here. How else are we supposed to grow up?

omegazeto: RoxieRoo: God always answers prayers. The answer usually is "No. Suck it up, kwitcherbiatchin and get back to work."

This. This right here. How else are we supposed to grow up?

So does this mean I shouldn't pray to God that the rice won't get sticky?

Fuggin Bizzy: omegazeto: RoxieRoo: God always answers prayers. The answer usually is "No. Suck it up, kwitcherbiatchin and get back to work."

This. This right here. How else are we supposed to grow up?

So does this mean I shouldn't pray to God that the rice won't get sticky?

Nor that your floors shouldn't suffer waxy yellow buildup.

/obscure?

Relatively Obscure:
I always answer my phone. My answer is usually an automated voicemail message.
I always reply to emails. My reply is usually to let it get auto-deleted without reading it.

And perhaps indeed, the Relatively Obscure are like unto God. God certainly identifies with the relatively obscure - Yeshua did say something along the lines of "whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that you do unto me."

I just find it amusing that all those lovely atheist farkers out there are so determined to attribute a stress- and age-related health crisis to their professedly non-existent all-powerful being, just out of their own wish for vengeance - a vengeance which they cannot themselves bring about.

Logic be damned. You are all a superstitious lot, after all. I am disappoint.

Can't help but think back to that "bewildered manner" the reporters who interviewed him following his second unsuccessful apocalyptic prediction thought was so sincere.

It might actually have been sincere...

.... just not in the way they thought it was sincere.


Charles Menut -- the regional manager for Family Stations Inc., Family Radio's parent company, and the station manager and chief engineer for an affiliated station in West Orange, N.J. -- posted a Yahoo group message early Saturday morning reporting Camping's stroke to Family Radio supporters.

"Please
just pray for him and do not try to contact anyone at his home or Family Radio," Menut wrote. "He and Shirley have enough family members to handle the situation."

And by "family members" he is of course referring to "millions of your dollars", whereas "handling the situation" is of course referring to "keeping this shiatstain in the underwear of the Bible Belt alive long enough to rake in more 'family members' in October".

Active introvert: The whole point of my post was that I have come to new realizations that my beliefs are probably wrong and that I need to re-examine my way of thinking

Yeah, I thought you were pretty clear on that.
Welcome to the good side :-)

This may be a dumb question, but has the rapture happened or not? Why am I thinking about Billy Mays?

EditorialSpace: This may be a dumb question, but has the rapture happened or not?

Rupture. Blood vessel in the brain. Easy mistake.

Meh. A stroke is too good for this bag of dicks. He deserves ALS.

Now if he would have been hit by lightning and had his throat cut at the same time he was having his stroke then I would begin to believe there is a "god" out there.

As for him just having a stroke, good, a bit late but good.

Scifientologist: About the only fresh factor is that more atheists are becomming out-spoken about the absurdities of the bible when read at face value...

Attempting to read the Bible strictly like a technical manual is pretty much a mistake. Technical manuals aren't punny, for one.

God gave us discretion. I would imagine he'd expect us to use it. I think the book itself recommends some methods regarding interpretation issues, as well.

Relatively Obscure: RoxieRoo: I just find it amusing that all those lovely atheist farkers out there are so determined to attribute a stress- and age-related health crisis to their professedly non-existent all-powerful being

How many of those lovely atheist farkers is that?

Just peruse this thread. Got no problems with atheism, or with theism, I can understand the draw of each. Only find the inconsistency from one to the other amusing. Don't you?

So - pardon my amusement at the larger picture of atheists applauding (and critiquing) the putative vengeance of a being they do not believe in.

Farkers are an interesting subset of the bipedal homids that inhabit this small pearl of a planet. But though they are generally more erudite and/or educated than other groups, and have gloriously wicked senses of humor - they are, at base, just as illogical and inconsistent as any other group of humanity.

Gotta go get another cuppa java. Y'all have a good day, now.

gameshowhost: You know what's even funnier? That there's no such thing as god and this still happened. The universe is awesome.

Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da...

Bullshiat. He's faking.

RoxieRoo: I just find it amusing that all those lovely atheist farkers out there are so determined to attribute a stress- and age-related health crisis to their professedly non-existent all-powerful being, just out of their own wish for vengeance - a vengeance which they cannot themselves bring about.

Either that or they're doing that thing where you intentionally express or take an opposing position to make light of or demonstrate a point about something. Can't recall what the word for it was...

Ronny-something, I think.

Anyway, I liked your story better, it was more entertaining.

Fuggin Bizzy: I can see where it could be difficult to distinguish between the end of the world and one's own death. Maybe he was right.

Yep. If he'd followed up his predictions that the world will end with "...for me," he'd have had a much, much higher chance of being right. Because at 89 and now with a stroke, the world *is* going to end for him. Very possibly before whatever the new date is (October, I think?)

When I was back there in
seminary school
There was a person there
Who put forth the proposition
That you can petition the Lord
with prayer
Petition the Lord with prayer
Petition the Lord with prayer
You cannot petition the Lord
with prayer
/used without permission

The bible is fiction, written specifically to manipulate the gullible and powerless.

It worked centuries ago, and it's working today, on some of you in this thread.

Do you really want to spend the only life you can be certain that you have, arguing over the meaning of this or that piece of mind control, written by 9th-century versions of Goebbels?

This guy convinced others to waste their money. Who convinced YOU to waste your time?

Devaputra is a a tin plated swaggering sh*thead with delusions of godhood.

Him and his Soldiers of The One clodhoppers and his false promises
and his completely lousy timing....