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(MSNBC) NewsFlash Newt Gingrich's senior aides resign en masse, presumably will join younger, more attractive candidate's campaign   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 431
    More: NewsFlash, Newt Gingrich, Rick Tyler, 2008 presidential candidate, cultural conservative, Explainer, Rob Johnson, social engineers, NBC News  
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18322 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Jun 2011 at 3:38 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Archived thread
 
2011-06-09 03:21:14 PM  
He was turned into a Newt, but he never got better.
 
2011-06-09 03:34:58 PM  
I'm shocked that Newt would alienate yet another group of people close to him. SHOCKED!
 
2011-06-09 03:37:20 PM  
No matter where you are, if one person resigns it's not a big deal; if many people resign, it's a big deal.
 
2011-06-09 03:39:26 PM  
It's just that they love America so much . . .
 
2011-06-09 03:40:19 PM  
He's got the Joementum!
 
2011-06-09 03:40:24 PM  
i sense a sex scandal coming....
 
2011-06-09 03:40:37 PM  
Did Newt have cancer surgery today?

/that was MY submission. Lots funnier.
 
2011-06-09 03:40:40 PM  
Sounds like some paychecks bounced.
 
2011-06-09 03:40:49 PM  
Poor guys; it must be hard finding a job as an overzealous staffer these days.
 
2011-06-09 03:40:56 PM  
Extending subby's metaphor, does that mean Newt is dying of cancer?

/*crosses fingers*
 
2011-06-09 03:40:58 PM  
So, Newt has cancer?
 
2011-06-09 03:40:59 PM  
i568.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-09 03:41:26 PM  
[well_bye.jpg]
 
2011-06-09 03:41:44 PM  

Lemmy Kilmister: i sense a sex scandal coming....


Guess he's been "interviewing" wife #4...
 
2011-06-09 03:42:28 PM  
Ok, that does it for him. And there was much rejoicing.
 
2011-06-09 03:42:30 PM  
i889.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-09 03:42:33 PM  
I think they wanted to go with a "possible to win" direction, whereas Newt wanted a 'HAUHGUGHAU THE SHERIFF IS NEAR' direction.
 
2011-06-09 03:42:35 PM  
En Masse? are you some sort of french homo, subby?

PALIN 2012 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
2011-06-09 03:42:39 PM  
Fantastic Headline, smitty!
 
2011-06-09 03:42:44 PM  
This is the second story of a guy being cured of aides this week!
 
2011-06-09 03:42:49 PM  
They mostly resign at night, mostly.
 
2011-06-09 03:42:52 PM  
th00.deviantart.net
 
2011-06-09 03:43:01 PM  
This broke just as Hannity's radio show was starting, and he was completely flustered by it and even suggested that maybe it was a lie. I thought I might run off the road I was laughing so hard (mostly at the news itself, but Hannity's flailing didn't help matters).

Don't derp and drive, kids.
 
2011-06-09 03:43:08 PM  
thepoliticalcarnival.net
"That's a shame..."
 
2011-06-09 03:43:16 PM  

Lemmy Kilmister: i sense a sex scandal coming....


nasty. I've notified the moderators about this thread.
 
2011-06-09 03:43:50 PM  
Wow. I have to say, I'm actually pretty farking surprised at how fast Newt fell. I actually thought he was probably the strongest contender that might face Obama in the general election. Perhaps what I neglected to think about was the GOP primary is a who can derp loudest/longest contest. And while Newt did his best there, he pales in comparison to the more seasoned derpers.

Doesn't bode well for Romney.
 
2011-06-09 03:44:16 PM  
Goodnight, Newt. Thanks for playing.
 
2011-06-09 03:44:33 PM  
What a pathetic group of losers that are running for this nomination.
 
2011-06-09 03:44:33 PM  
img29.imageshack.us

img716.imageshack.us
 
2011-06-09 03:44:52 PM  

NotThatGirl: Lemmy Kilmister: i sense a sex scandal coming....

Guess he's been "interviewing" wife #4...


Wouldn't it be more scandalous at this point if it came out that Newt has been a faithful and loving husband?
 
2011-06-09 03:44:53 PM  
lulz. My guess is that they had 9 -11 reasons to get out now.
 
2011-06-09 03:45:00 PM  
I think this was fallout for his criticism of the Ryan Budget. This is officially the tea parties first victim.
 
2011-06-09 03:45:07 PM  
Gingrich just got neutered
 
2011-06-09 03:45:15 PM  
...just when I thought the '90s were coming back full force, the wind in the sails gets a little weaker.
 
2011-06-09 03:46:49 PM  

LarryDan43: They mostly resign at night, mostly.


What you did there, I nuke it from orbit.

/the only way to be sure
 
2011-06-09 03:47:00 PM  
Wow. Perry is actually going to run. Shocking. Shocking, I say.
 
2011-06-09 03:47:10 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: No matter where you are, if one person resigns it's not a big deal; if many people resign, it's a big deal.


This. It shows a major lack of confidence in the person. The details on this will be interesting.
 
2011-06-09 03:47:15 PM  
Newt Gingrich loves his country so much he had no choice but to get a blowjob from a staffer's wife in his car while his nanny waited nearby with his two young daughters.
 
2011-06-09 03:47:22 PM  
You don't have people resign en masse over a 'difference of opinion.' Either this has been building for a while, and some kind of drama set it off, or something else went on behind the scenes.
 
2011-06-09 03:47:31 PM  
Here's the likely scenario.

Newt never intended on running to win, but rather threw his hat into the ring in an attempt to generate some more free publicity for himself.

The aides are all jumping ship because they see the writing on the wall. It's basically just a career choice for them.

End of story.
 
2011-06-09 03:47:33 PM  
And the smooth sailing just got smoother.
 
2011-06-09 03:47:43 PM  
They didn't quit, they're just bunkering down for the Atheist/Secular Humanist/Shariah takeover that is coming. All because none of you took Newt seriously. Reap the vegan and halal whirlwind, America.
 
2011-06-09 03:48:09 PM  
Like rats off a sinking ship.... ala Goolsebee.
 
2011-06-09 03:48:14 PM  
In before republican butthurt? That's a first.
 
2011-06-09 03:48:21 PM  
This is clearly bad news . . . for Obama.
 
2011-06-09 03:48:24 PM  

actor212: Did Newt have cancer surgery today?

/that was MY submission. Lots funnier.


Mine was "Gingrich's aides reenact the end of Titanic"
 
2011-06-09 03:48:26 PM  

NittLion78: ...just when I thought the '90s were coming back full force, the wind in the sails gets a little weaker.


Speaking of the 90s, is it weird that every time I see or hear about Newt Gingrich, that Harvey Danger song plays in my head?
 
2011-06-09 03:48:55 PM  
Damn. I do believe we were just robbed of many presidential campaign lols.
 
2011-06-09 03:49:25 PM  

House of Tards: They didn't quit, they're just bunkering down for the Atheist/Secular Humanist/Shariah takeover that is coming. All because none of you took Newt seriously. Reap the vegan and halal whirlwind, America.


*sniffsniff*

I smell grilled tabouli...
 
2011-06-09 03:49:34 PM  
Sad because Newt is sort of reasonable. He pays lipservice to the jesusbots but I don't think he really believes any of that crap.
 
2011-06-09 03:49:35 PM  
Doesn't sound like Newt was ready to run a serious campaign so the staffers decided to get in early with someone who is.

/Or as another farker said above, paychecks bounced.
 
2011-06-09 03:49:43 PM  
Goodnight, funnycampaign.
 
2011-06-09 03:49:46 PM  
In fact... I'm sure Jay Leno's writers are scurrying about right now trying to fill out about a year's worth of material they just lost.
 
2011-06-09 03:49:48 PM  
Did the republican party have a mass outbreak of rationality or something?

Newt was the perfect candidate. All the herp-a-derp of sister sarah plus a buttload of (legitimate) washington experience and a (supposedly) high IQ. He was never a real threat in the long term because of his general dickish nature and closet full 'o' skeletons, but he was more viable than palin.
 
2011-06-09 03:49:52 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: What a pathetic group of losers that are running for this nomination.


When you're going into the election knowing that your very best case is a close loss to Obama, it's gotta be hard to rally the troops.

/republican
//think Obama gets re-elected easily
 
2011-06-09 03:49:53 PM  
Newt Gingrich is a horrible human being. There are very few politicians I actually hate as people, and he is among them.
 
2011-06-09 03:49:58 PM  
Oh what a farking shame. I was looking forward to ridiculing Newt constantly. All is not lost though, I am pretty damn sure Flailin' is gonna run.
 
2011-06-09 03:50:03 PM  

Codenamechaz: actor212: Did Newt have cancer surgery today?

/that was MY submission. Lots funnier.

Mine was "Gingrich's aides reenact the end of Titanic"


+1
 
2011-06-09 03:50:09 PM  
And the pieces fall further into place for Palin/Bachmann '12

Slogan: "Beat the Mayans to the Punch!"
 
2011-06-09 03:50:26 PM  

relcec: nasty. I've notified the moderators about this thread.


www.lonelyplanet.comwww.cc.gatech.edu
 
2011-06-09 03:50:32 PM  

Jake Havechek: Newt Gingrich loves his country so much he had no choice but to get a blowjob from a staffer's wife in his car while his nanny waited nearby with his two young daughters.


but he didn't love America enough to get his nanny in on it. That's why I can never vote for him. We don't need half-hearted patriots like that in government.
 
2011-06-09 03:50:34 PM  

Killer Cars: Speaking of the 90s, is it weird that every time I see or hear about Newt Gingrich, that Harvey Danger song plays in my head?


Now it's in my head.

i719.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-09 03:50:53 PM  

karmaceutical: Damn. I do believe we were just robbed of many presidential campaign lols.


Don't worry, we've still got Santorum.

/Frothy
 
2011-06-09 03:51:07 PM  
I've said it before. Newt never had any inclination to actually run for the presidency. He knew as well as anyone that he didn't stand a chance, no matter the competition. He was in it for the attention to himself and his projects, as well as to try and use his celebrity status within the media to steer the general direction of the GOP campaign from the start.
 
2011-06-09 03:51:12 PM  
i583.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-09 03:51:17 PM  

Lemmy Kilmister: i sense a sex scandal coming....


Either that or Newt wanted to take some shots below the belt at someone which was just to sleazy for his staff to go along with. Swift boat/black baby stuff but maybe against Romney or something.

wild speculation on my part.

/or sex scandal like you said but it is hard to imagine something more disgusting than he has already done
 
2011-06-09 03:51:18 PM  

NittLion78: Killer Cars: Speaking of the 90s, is it weird that every time I see or hear about Newt Gingrich, that Harvey Danger song plays in my head?

Now it's in my head.


PARANOIA PARANOIA EVERYBODY'S COMIN' TO GET ME
 
2011-06-09 03:51:28 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: And the pieces fall further into place for Palin/Bachmann '12

Slogan: "Beat the Mayans to the Punch!"


HEY! We're 'MERICANS and we do it the "MERICAN way. Not gonna have any dirty brown people starting OUR apocalypse.
 
2011-06-09 03:51:36 PM  
I'm curious just what was the moment that sparked the 'fark you, we're out' moment among his aides and staff.

/guessing it was money
 
2011-06-09 03:51:50 PM  
Good. He should take the hint and quit also.
 
2011-06-09 03:52:04 PM  

corn-bread: Doesn't sound like Newt was ready to run a serious campaign so the staffers decided to get in early with someone who is.

/Or as another farker said above, paychecks bounced.


Orrrrrrrrrrr....they all thought it was a goof and a good way to snag some of that Koch money, and suddenly Newt's all "where's my position paper on Yemen?" and they said "WTF?????"
 
2011-06-09 03:52:06 PM  

toraque: You don't have people resign en masse over a 'difference of opinion.' Either this has been building for a while, and some kind of drama set it off, or something else went on behind the scenes.


Guessing that one, and I'm guessing this will be very amusing when it comes out.

Though sex scandal is a good bet.
 
2011-06-09 03:52:07 PM  

Doc_Gerbil: Oh what a farking shame. I was looking forward to ridiculing Newt constantly. All is not lost though, I am pretty damn sure Flailin' is gonna run.


Feel free to ridicule him anyway.
 
2011-06-09 03:52:32 PM  
Did they guy who wrote that insane Newt = Rambo press release quit too?
 
2011-06-09 03:53:09 PM  

Cinaed: I'm curious just what was the moment that sparked the 'fark you, we're out' moment among his aides and staff.

/guessing it was money


I'm thinking there'll be a blind item, perhaps on Red State or some other Palin-friendly place, within a week
 
2011-06-09 03:54:04 PM  
Y'all know this is because they're running to Rick Perry's campaign, don't you?
 
2011-06-09 03:54:20 PM  
Do you think they were having a staff meeting and one of them just said "Hey...you guys DO realize we're working for a petulant, tax-cheating thrice-divorced old man who hasn't been relevant since 'Caroline in the City' was in the Neilsen Top 10, right?"
 
2011-06-09 03:54:37 PM  
He did enough to justify not being sued for accepting campaign contrabutions with no intention of ever running. LEAVE NEWT ALONE.
 
2011-06-09 03:54:43 PM  
Got on the lifeboats, did they?
 
2011-06-09 03:55:09 PM  
Now that this nonsensical presidential bid is kaput I assume his android laser-eyed wife is done with him and and available to a similarly minded ruthless android?

/Callista Im calling you!
 
2011-06-09 03:55:11 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: And the pieces fall further into place for Palin/Bachmann '12

Slogan: "Beat the Mayans to the Punch!"


Palin/Bachmann '12: As close to a Soze/Kobayashi ticket with a side of DERP you will ever get!
 
2011-06-09 03:55:13 PM  
I always thought he was too old to run for president anyway.
 
2011-06-09 03:55:33 PM  
I'm no big city political consultant, but I'm guessing it's because there was no money coming in to the campaign so they weren't going to get paid.
 
2011-06-09 03:55:59 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: Sad because Newt is sort of reasonable. He pays lipservice to the jesusbots but I don't think he really believes any of that crap.


He converted to Catholicism a few years back, IIRC.
 
2011-06-09 03:56:57 PM  

karmaceutical: Damn. I do believe we were just robbed of many presidential campaign lols.


Oh, believe me, we are in for a presidential cycle that is going to go down in history as probably the most lulz-tastic in history. Make no mistake about it, Sarah Palin is going to fire all of her cannons at the GOP nomination. The resultant derp soundbytes are going to be legendary. I can't wait.

Through all of it, we can all just sit back and laugh while O tapdances around these savants. His cold and calculating smackdown of the birth certificate controversy was merely a foreshadowing of the things to come. This is going to be the political equivalent of a Harlem Globetrotters game.

Wait and see.

"U Mad GOP?"
\
ph.cdn.photos.upi.com

\\Hot.
 
2011-06-09 03:57:07 PM  

Cinaed: I'm curious just what was the moment that sparked the 'fark you, we're out' moment among his aides and staff.


Well, I believe it was leaked out a few weeks ago that if John Edwards would have come close to securing the nomination, his senior staff had agreed amongst themselves to scuttle the campaign. Campaign folks are tenacious, dedicated, and generally amoral.

So, it's not just "Oh, I don't think this guy is going to win." It's gotta be "Shiat, this guy is farked" or "Shiat, if we stay with this guy, we're farked".
 
2011-06-09 03:57:34 PM  

sariq: Y'all know this is because they're running to Rick Perry's campaign, don't you?


I think Newt had no money to pay them.
 
2011-06-09 03:57:40 PM  

WTF Indeed: I'm no big city political consultant, but I'm guessing it's because there was no money coming in to the campaign so they weren't going to get paid.


It's a good bet it's between one of three things:

1. Your hypothesis
2. A big scandal was brewing hence why Gingrich took a sudden departure from the public eye
3. The numbers came in on Gingrich's chances and what he saw wasn't pretty.
 
2011-06-09 03:57:52 PM  
dvdpgallery.dvdalistic.com

They mostly quit loser campaigns at night. Mostly.
 
2011-06-09 03:58:16 PM  
Aw, f*ckdammit, I wanted to use the campaign slogan I made up for him.

Want Better Medicare Reform? Then Vote For This Salamandriform!......Newt.
 
2011-06-09 03:59:45 PM  
I wonder what his wife's reaction to this is. I bet it's "Bawk".
 
2011-06-09 03:59:45 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: What a pathetic group of losers that are running for this nomination.


THIS!
 
2011-06-09 04:00:52 PM  
Gingrich The Newt (new window)

That is all.
 
2011-06-09 04:01:16 PM  
Perhaps he should have had a CONTRACT WITH STAFFERS.
 
2011-06-09 04:01:59 PM  
durbnpoisn.comli.com
 
2011-06-09 04:02:25 PM  
Oh Newt, I was counting on you.
 
2011-06-09 04:02:43 PM  
lennavan
Wow. I have to say, I'm actually pretty farking surprised at how fast Newt fell. I actually thought he was probably the strongest contender that might face Obama in the general election. Perhaps what I neglected to think about was the GOP primary is a who can derp loudest/longest contest. And while Newt did his best there, he pales in comparison to the more seasoned derpers.

His policy recommendations are idiotic and his personal life is much, much worse. The guy has dumped not one, but two ailing wives while he was cheating on them. The first had cancer. The second got an MS diagnosis. The bizarre looking third wife, as some Farker pointed out awhile back, looks like she's been holding a sneeze in for about eight years for fear that Newt will dump her at the first sign of illness.

You thought Newt was their strongest contender? Wow. The GOP is completely hosed.
 
2011-06-09 04:02:58 PM  
Damn, no Newt love. Wonder why?
 
2011-06-09 04:02:59 PM  
God I cant wait for the Palin/Bachmann ticket. Bring on the lulz!
 
2011-06-09 04:03:05 PM  
Don't feel sorry for Newt. I'm sure he will find solace in the loving gaze of his wife.

t3.gstatic.com
 
2011-06-09 04:03:42 PM  
The shait has hit the fan, folks

All of Gingrich's paid staff in Iowa have gotten the hell out. (new window)

And one of the higher level officials is going on record saying that this all stems from Gingrich's decision to go ahead with his cruse to the Greek Isles . (new window)
 
2011-06-09 04:04:00 PM  
Aw, so soon?
 
2011-06-09 04:04:11 PM  
Please let it be a really entertaining scandal, please let it be a really entertaining scandal.
 
2011-06-09 04:04:24 PM  
I wonder if they'll join Perry's campaign, you know, the guy that wants to be President and secede from the union, or Rudy Guilliani, the guy whose own family said they wouldn't vote for him yet he belongs to the "family values" party.

/Good lord the GOP is a bunch of idiots these days.
 
2011-06-09 04:04:34 PM  
cache.gawker.com
 
2011-06-09 04:05:16 PM  
All the real candidates are sitting this one out, because they know the GOP is morally bankrupt and has nothing to fix the economy with except tie their hands behind their backs and blame Obama.
 
2011-06-09 04:05:41 PM  

patrick767: The bizarre looking third wife, as some Farker pointed out awhile back, looks like she's been holding a sneeze in for about eight years for fear that Newt will dump her at the first sign of illness.


Ok, that made me snort.
It makes sense that her picture is the result of years of "Must...Not...Pooooop...."
 
2011-06-09 04:05:43 PM  
He was holding Weiner's johnson in the new pics.
 
2011-06-09 04:05:56 PM  
I don't think Newt believes he can win. He's in it for the money. PACs, super PACs, books, appearances, all that.
 
2011-06-09 04:06:44 PM  

vernonFL: They mostly quit loser campaigns at night. Mostly.


LOL
 
2011-06-09 04:06:56 PM  

Dusk-You-n-Me: I don't think Newt believes he can win. He's in it for the money. PACs, super PACs, books, appearances, all that.


Problem is that now that he's announced his candiacy, if he uses that PAC money for anything other than a campaign, he's gonna get pounded in the arse by the FEC.
 
2011-06-09 04:07:19 PM  

WTF Indeed: I'm no big city political consultant, but I'm guessing it's because there was no money coming in to the campaign so they weren't going to get paid.


That's because he (and his aides) don't know how to raise money.

/yeah...i was part of the whole "Contract with America" thing
 
2011-06-09 04:08:01 PM  

Cymbal: Don't feel sorry for Newt. I'm sure he will find solace in the loving gaze of his wife.


Dammit Cymbal.
 
2011-06-09 04:09:02 PM  
I was about to say that I dont understand why taking a cruise was such a big deal until I read that he didnt tell anyone where he was. well good for him.
 
2011-06-09 04:09:16 PM  
His campaign was over before it even started anyhow, and even he knew it. It's going to be Romney as the mainstream candidate and Bachmann running as an independent.
 
2011-06-09 04:09:19 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: Sad because Newt is sort of reasonable. He pays lipservice to the jesusbots but I don't think he really believes any of that crap.


Newt Gingrich is the most evil US politician in the past 50 years. He's a lying, cheating, horrible hypocrite who presses ethics and moral issues despite being absolute scum. He literally told his wife after cheating on her that:

"It doesn't matter what I do," "People need to hear what I have to say. There's no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn't matter what I live."

He's like a mythical deity of demagougery. He's one of the worst people to ever be elected any office. He cheated on his wife while she had MS, and then repeatedly lied to the press about what she said. There isn't a hell terrible enough for a lying, hypocritical awful used-car salesman slick bastard politician.

http://www.esquire.com/features/newt-gingrich-0910-8
 
2011-06-09 04:09:49 PM  
Love that Joker!
 
2011-06-09 04:10:00 PM  
i17.photobucket.com
i17.photobucket.com
i17.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-09 04:10:17 PM  
lol found this gem

Link (new window)
 
2011-06-09 04:11:43 PM  
I'll miss his freaky wife
 
2011-06-09 04:11:52 PM  
How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?
 
2011-06-09 04:12:05 PM  
Paul Ryan's Medicare-murder bill claims another victim.

Who wants to be next? C'mon, GOP! You guys love the Ryan plan, amirite???
 
2011-06-09 04:12:10 PM  

Codenamechaz: Problem is that now that he's announced his candiacy, if he uses that PAC money for anything other than a campaign, he's gonna get pounded in the arse by the FEC.


Doesn't the "superPAC" get around all that? I don't know the ins and outs, I just know this isn't Newt's first rodeo. He's been convincing stupid people to send him money for YEARS. He knows how to game the system. This run gives him a lot of visibility and when he drops out he can write another lame book.
 
2011-06-09 04:12:48 PM  

dryknife: Cymbal: Don't feel sorry for Newt. I'm sure he will find solace in the loving gaze of his wife.

Dammit Cymbal.


Haha, beat you to it!

For shame farkers, Calista "I will eat your children while they are still breathing" Gingrich photo should be the Boobies in any Newt thread.
 
2011-06-09 04:13:19 PM  
I just picked up Newt in my office death pool. Feeling pretty good about it.
 
2011-06-09 04:13:22 PM  

gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?


You get an automatic clean slate when you join the team.
 
2011-06-09 04:13:51 PM  

Dusk-You-n-Me: Doesn't the "superPAC" get around all that?


No.

SuperPAC means the donations from Corps can be unlimited and all that good stuff.
It doesn't change the rules on how the money can be disbursed.
 
2011-06-09 04:13:54 PM  

Codenamechaz: The shait has hit the fan, folks

All of Gingrich's paid staff in Iowa have gotten the hell out. (new window)

And one of the higher level officials is going on record saying that this all stems from Gingrich's decision to go ahead with his cruse to the Greek Isles . (new window)


Wait, so this is all about buttsecks?
 
2011-06-09 04:14:02 PM  
I hope for the sake of conservative values that Newt Gingrich runs for president. He is the only candidate that shares my deep Christian values of family and faith. When I shook the hand of an Afghanistan vet returning he whispered to me....only Newt. This man can see us through these troublesome times I have no doubt about it.
 
2011-06-09 04:14:20 PM  

gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?


I think he can attend Catholic church, but he's denied communion, and said to be living in a state of "mortal sin" until he corrects himself.
 
2011-06-09 04:14:20 PM  

contrapunctus: karmaceutical: Damn. I do believe we were just robbed of many presidential campaign lols.

Oh, believe me, we are in for a presidential cycle that is going to go down in history as probably the most lulz-tastic in history. Make no mistake about it, Sarah Palin is going to fire all of her cannons at the GOP nomination. The resultant derp soundbytes are going to be legendary. I can't wait.

Through all of it, we can all just sit back and laugh while O tapdances around these savants. His cold and calculating smackdown of the birth certificate controversy was merely a foreshadowing of the things to come. This is going to be the political equivalent of a Harlem Globetrotters game.

Wait and see.

\\Hot.


I will hold you to that. As long as someone relatively reasonable like Perry, Romney or Hunstman gets the nomination, the race will be nowhere near an Obama blowout. Especially if the economy still sucks.

/if Palin wins the nomination, Obama will crush her
//she won't win it (I sincerely hope)
 
2011-06-09 04:14:38 PM  
HighOnCraic: It's just that they love America so much . . .

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!
 
2011-06-09 04:14:46 PM  
That's nice. If you had any integrity you would never have signed on to work for Newt.
 
2011-06-09 04:14:48 PM  
cymbal,
Don't feel sorry for Newt. I'm sure he will find solace in the loving gaze of his wife.


She is 45, but her peer group has +20 years on her. I guess she had to find a way to fit in.

I wonder who Newt is actual farking now?

/I bet she resents him.
 
2011-06-09 04:14:58 PM  
Yeah, it's usually not a good sign when employees decide to quite en masse. Doesn't matter what the job is.
 
2011-06-09 04:14:59 PM  

Riotcow: RembrandtQEinstein: Sad because Newt is sort of reasonable. He pays lipservice to the jesusbots but I don't think he really believes any of that crap.

Newt Gingrich is the most evil US politician in the past 50 years. He's a lying, cheating, horrible hypocrite who presses ethics and moral issues despite being absolute scum. He literally told his wife after cheating on her that:

"It doesn't matter what I do," "People need to hear what I have to say. There's no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn't matter what I live."

He's like a mythical deity of demagougery. He's one of the worst people to ever be elected any office. He cheated on his wife while she had MS, and then repeatedly lied to the press about what she said. There isn't a hell terrible enough for a lying, hypocritical awful used-car salesman slick bastard politician.

http://www.esquire.com/features/newt-gingrich-0910-8


lol. holy crap, i didn't know this guy was -actually- a politician, i thought he was just a radio dickwad.
 
2011-06-09 04:15:25 PM  
Newt sure shares some deep values with many, many different women.
 
2011-06-09 04:15:54 PM  

Dusk-You-n-Me: Codenamechaz: Problem is that now that he's announced his candiacy, if he uses that PAC money for anything other than a campaign, he's gonna get pounded in the arse by the FEC.

Doesn't the "superPAC" get around all that? I don't know the ins and outs, I just know this isn't Newt's first rodeo. He's been convincing stupid people to send him money for YEARS. He knows how to game the system. This run gives him a lot of visibility and when he drops out he can write another lame book.


That I don't know. I think SuperPACs just allow businesses to invest more into it and beyond that don't do too much different from a normal pac, but again I"m not 100% on that.
 
2011-06-09 04:16:15 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2011-06-09 04:16:23 PM  

Pollexabator: That's nice. If you had any integrity you would never have signed on to work for Newt.


They don't have integrity, it's just that the paychecks bounced.
 
2011-06-09 04:16:53 PM  

captain_heroic44: gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?

I think he can attend Catholic church, but he's denied communion, and said to be living in a state of "mortal sin" until he corrects himself.


Ahhh!! So he should have checked himself before he wrecked himself.

Sorry - that was bad...
 
2011-06-09 04:16:57 PM  
Someone obviously figured out a way to clone Reagan.
 
2011-06-09 04:17:44 PM  

Cymbal: Don't feel sorry for Newt. I'm sure he will find solace in the loving gaze of his wife.


I could've gone all day without seeing that. Gorrammit so much.
/eye bleach
 
2011-06-09 04:18:17 PM  
Did he tweet a picture of his junk to them first?
 
2011-06-09 04:18:17 PM  
Newt was running for the same reason McCain ran; they both have crazed younger wives that wanted to be Nancy Reagan-ish First Ladies.

These guys are just trying to keep the BJ-train rollin'.
 
2011-06-09 04:18:35 PM  

captain_heroic44: gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?

I think he can attend Catholic church, but he's denied communion, and said to be living in a state of "mortal sin" until he corrects himself.


How do you 'correct' getting 2 divorces? I thought you can just say some hail marys and ask for forgiveness and all's ok, right?

/farking divine absolution, how does it work?
 
2011-06-09 04:18:46 PM  
Jjaro
I will hold you to that. As long as someone relatively reasonable like Perry, Romney or Hunstman gets the nomination, the race will be nowhere near an Obama blowout. Especially if the economy still sucks.

Perry's reasonable? bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....

Huntsman? Sort of, but his ties to Obama will sink him in the GOP primary land of derp.

Romney? Yeah, he's the probable nominee, but he signed a decent health care plan for Mass. back in 2006 and now he's running away from it as fast as he can. That makes him come off as quite the moron.
 
2011-06-09 04:19:18 PM  

Big Al: Newt sure shares some deep values with many, many different women.


lolz
 
2011-06-09 04:19:22 PM  

gunslinger_RG: captain_heroic44: gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?

I think he can attend Catholic church, but he's denied communion, and said to be living in a state of "mortal sin" until he corrects himself.

Ahhh!! So he should have checked himself before he wrecked himself.

Sorry - that was bad...


Heh.
 
2011-06-09 04:19:34 PM  
Maybe they all saw his wiener.
 
2011-06-09 04:19:35 PM  

mahuika: Someone obviously figured out a way to clone Reagan.


Or he's risen from the grave.

Zombie Reagan/Plawenty '12!!!
 
2011-06-09 04:19:45 PM  
So the Washington Post (new window) is saying:

Among the issues leading to the resignations, according to knowledgeable sources, was the two-week vacation that Gingrich and his wife, Callista, insisted upon taking against the advice of his top political staff. Coming as it did after one of the most disastrous campaign launches in recent memory, it raised questions as to whether Gingrich would be willing to "commit time to the grassroots," said Tyler.

Whatever that's worth.
 
2011-06-09 04:19:50 PM  

Treygreen13: NittLion78: Killer Cars: Speaking of the 90s, is it weird that every time I see or hear about Newt Gingrich, that Harvey Danger song plays in my head?

Now it's in my head.

PARANOIA PARANOIA EVERYBODY'S COMIN' TO GET ME


Now it's in my head. Luckily, I like that song.

/"You told 'em all I was crazy..."
 
2011-06-09 04:20:11 PM  

Jake Havechek: gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?

You get an automatic clean slate when you join the team.


Also, the earlier weddings weren't in the church, so they don't really count because God wasn't looking. CSB: I'm getting married to a Catholic later this year. We had a meeting with a priest (very nice old man) who as we arrived was finishing up the wedding paperwork for an older lady who was getting married for the 5th time. The other 4 were: Married catholic and annulled, Not married catholic and divorced, third guy died, fourth guy not married catholic and divorced, so technically she was still free and clear. The priest was happy to do paperwork for a couple with no previous marriages.
 
2011-06-09 04:20:13 PM  

Cymbal: dryknife: Cymbal: Don't feel sorry for Newt. I'm sure he will find solace in the loving gaze of his wife.

Dammit Cymbal.

Haha, beat you to it!

For shame farkers, Calista "I will eat your children while they are still breathing" Gingrich photo should be the Boobies in any Newt thread.


Turning "Boobies" into "Boobies". I dig it!
 
2011-06-09 04:20:19 PM  
Subby wins the internets!

/ I want the Tshirt
 
2011-06-09 04:20:21 PM  
I love the pic on HuffPo for this story:

i.huffpost.com
 
2011-06-09 04:20:48 PM  

shower_in_my_socks: johnson


Gary Johnson?
 
2011-06-09 04:21:04 PM  
"Hey, Callista, what do you think of Weiner's junk shot?"

cache.gawker.com
 
2011-06-09 04:21:44 PM  

mrtk421: lol found this gem

Link (new window)


So, that's a thing that exists.
 
2011-06-09 04:22:10 PM  

Koalaesq: How do you 'correct' getting 2 divorces? I thought you can just say some hail marys and ask for forgiveness and all's ok, right?


I think that's only for "venial sins."

I expect there's some penitence involved with correcting his divorces--like doing hail marys or something--and he has to cease marital relations with his current wife, at least.
 
2011-06-09 04:22:49 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: I love the pic on HuffPo for this story:


Caption contest?

/don't let me down, Fark
 
2011-06-09 04:23:04 PM  

Koalaesq: captain_heroic44: gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?

I think he can attend Catholic church, but he's denied communion, and said to be living in a state of "mortal sin" until he corrects himself.

How do you 'correct' getting 2 divorces? I thought you can just say some hail marys and ask for forgiveness and all's ok, right?

/farking divine absolution, how does it work?


He'd have to stop having a sexual relationship with any women other than his original wife, otherwise he is committing new sins all the time.
 
2011-06-09 04:23:07 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: I love the pic on HuffPo for this story:


2 invisible sacks?
 
2011-06-09 04:23:41 PM  

berylman: I hope for the sake of conservative values that Newt Gingrich runs for president. He is the only candidate that shares my deep Christian values of family and faith. When I shook the hand of an Afghanistan vet returning he whispered to me....only Newt. This man can see us through these troublesome times I have no doubt about it.


2/10. You're trying too hard son, just tone it down a bit and you might catch some.
 
2011-06-09 04:24:18 PM  
"We're gonna need a bigger boat"

images.dailyfill.com

/I don't know why either so don't ask.
 
2011-06-09 04:24:29 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: I love the pic on HuffPo for this story:


"I...Have a lovely bunch...of Coconuts!"
 
2011-06-09 04:24:32 PM  
image2.findagrave.com
 
2011-06-09 04:24:43 PM  
I don't like this guy as many of you, but the only reasoning I'm seeing for this mass exodus is:

1. We (the staffers) thought he should run his campaign one way, he didn't, so we left.

2. He took a long-planned vacation with his wife.

As far as 1 is concerned, you are paid by the candidate to run and espouse his vision. I'm not sure you have a lot of authority to get all righteously angry when the candidate doesn't want to do things your way.

As for 2, I'm not sure why this is a big deal. A two-week vacation a year and a half before the election isn't the end of the world.

Me thinks there was more to this.
 
2011-06-09 04:24:47 PM  
i sense a sex scandal coming....

Please, no. He learned how to use Twitter to throw his hat in the ring, so you're scaring me now.
 
2011-06-09 04:25:02 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: "Hey, Callista, what do you think of Weiner's junk shot?"


She is thinking: "I should totally beak-bite that worm, regurgitate it, and feed it to my chicks"
 
2011-06-09 04:25:12 PM  

blackminded: AdolfOliverPanties: I love the pic on HuffPo for this story:

Caption contest?

/don't let me down, Fark


Et tu, Brute? Et tu? Et tu? WTF guys?
 
2011-06-09 04:25:31 PM  
Despicable Newt served divorce papers to his wife in the hospital while she was dying of cancer. That is all.
 
2011-06-09 04:25:37 PM  
blog.internetnews.comt3.gstatic.com
 
2011-06-09 04:26:14 PM  

Codenamechaz: The shait has hit the fan, folks

All of Gingrich's paid staff in Iowa have gotten the hell out. (new window)

And one of the higher level officials is going on record saying that this all stems from Gingrich's decision to go ahead with his cruse to the Greek Isles . (new window)


FTA
Gingrich was intent on using technology and standing out at debates to get traction while his advisers believed he needed to run a campaign that incorporated both traditional, grassroots techniques as well as new ideas.

Correct me if I'm wrong. Newt wanted to run on more of a moderate Republican platform, thus appealing to moderates in both parties. While his team wanted to run on a "Real American" Far-Right derp platform.
 
2011-06-09 04:26:50 PM  
They're all just jealous that their love for America pales in comparison to that of Newt's. Newt loves America so much that he cannot stand to be around those whose love falters, like a withering dong being extricated from a staffer's wife's mouth.

Newt loves America so much he'd like to bend Alabama over Georgia and give 'er, while jamming his thumb into Florida's panhandle. THAT'S how much Newt loves your country, dammit. Why don't you love America as much as Newt?
 
2011-06-09 04:26:56 PM  
Makes sense, get out early enough and you have time to join a group that isn't working on a sinking ship. There's no point sticking with an obvious loser this early in the race. And it's not like he's some one-issue firebrand that you could at least work with for an idealistic reason.

The guy is poop-flavored vanilla pudding. Who cheats with jello when his other pudding is curdling.
 
2011-06-09 04:27:32 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: I love the pic on HuffPo for this story:


♪♫♪ I did it myyyyyyyyy waaaaaayyyyy..... ♪♫♪

And lost.
 
2011-06-09 04:28:10 PM  
Black Hole Sun

i.imgur.com

wont you come

t3.gstatic.com

and wash away the rain

i.imgur.com
 
2011-06-09 04:28:18 PM  

lennavan: Wow. I have to say, I'm actually pretty farking surprised at how fast Newt fell. I actually thought he was probably the strongest contender that might face Obama in the general election. Perhaps what I neglected to think about was the GOP primary is a who can derp loudest/longest contest. And while Newt did his best there, he pales in comparison to the more seasoned derpers.

Doesn't bode well for Romney.



Seriously? No, Newt never had a virgin's chance at a Paris Hilton sleepover. The conservatives he'll have to get the nomination from will never nominate him now that all the salacious information about his wives and affairs have come out. It hasn't been too terribly publicized, but he's already been challenged a couple times about it by angry social conservatives at campaign appearances.

Besides that, Newt is so arrogant he simply cannot go too long without saying something really boneheaded. It's like a pathological issue of his.

And even if by some cosmic miracle he did manage to get it he'd be absolutely shredded by Obama in the general election, and Newt doesn't have the kind of broad appeal it would take to win a general election.
 
2011-06-09 04:28:24 PM  

Philip Francis Queeg: He'd have to stop having a sexual relationship with any women other than his original wife, otherwise he is committing new sins all the time.


I think the Catholic church permits remarriage if your spouse dies. So it might be that his second wife is now recognized by the church.


Link (new window)

"As to the remarriage of widows in the Christian Church, though St. Paul declares that widowhood is preferable to the married state (1 Corinthians 7:8), yet he does not forbid remarriage (1 Corinthians 7:39). Second nuptials are valid by ecclesiastical law if the first marriage bond has been really dissolved and if there is no canonical impediment, as is the case for clerics in major orders in the Oriental rites."
 
2011-06-09 04:28:29 PM  

sariq: Y'all know this is because they're running to Rick Perry's campaign, don't you?


Jumping a sinking ship for one captained by a over blown, talking points spewing fool. Sounds like a great career move
 
2011-06-09 04:28:54 PM  
What's even funnier is that a lot of these people are probably leaving to go work for Rick Perry who is probably throwing his hat into the ring.

We'll see if he can secede where Gingrich has failed.
 
2011-06-09 04:29:01 PM  
i.huffpost.com
"Bring me more biatches!
 
2011-06-09 04:30:32 PM  

RichieLaw: I don't like this guy as many of you, but the only reasoning I'm seeing for this mass exodus is:

1. We (the staffers) thought he should run his campaign one way, he didn't, so we left.

2. He took a long-planned vacation with his wife.

As far as 1 is concerned, you are paid by the candidate to run and espouse his vision. I'm not sure you have a lot of authority to get all righteously angry when the candidate doesn't want to do things your way.

As for 2, I'm not sure why this is a big deal. A two-week vacation a year and a half before the election isn't the end of the world.

Me thinks there was more to this.


Well, generally for 1, if you hire people on to give you advice, and then refuse to take that advice, then they're going to take that as a sign that they aren't necessary and take their business elsewhere. A paycheck is no guarantee of loyalty.

As for 2, it's more that he decided to take a 2 week vacation not even a week after announcing his campaign and flubbing the announcement with damage control over what he said about the Ryan plan, so his staff took this as a sign that he wasn't a serious contender and that he maybe thought this was a joke.

Though it is also fully possible there's another scandal involved, likely that happened during his trip to the Greek Isles, so who can say really.
 
2011-06-09 04:30:38 PM  

WTF Indeed: "Bring me more biatches!


WINNAR!
 
2011-06-09 04:30:45 PM  
For what it's worth, here's the cruise ship that Newt took his vacation on (new window). Explain to me again why people take cruises, because for a "luxury" cruise, that looks like it kind of sucks.
 
2011-06-09 04:30:53 PM  

Koalaesq: captain_heroic44: gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?

I think he can attend Catholic church, but he's denied communion, and said to be living in a state of "mortal sin" until he corrects himself.

How do you 'correct' getting 2 divorces? I thought you can just say some hail marys and ask for forgiveness and all's ok, right?

/farking divine absolution, how does it work?


I'm guessing that since the first 2 weren't under the catholic church, they don't count.
 
2011-06-09 04:31:44 PM  
I have no idea who this guy his.

However, that is the most terrifying facial expression I have ever seen on any being, male or female. Ho-lee FARK. *scrubs eyes*
 
2011-06-09 04:31:55 PM  
" I believe marriage is between one man and one woman"*

* At a time.
 
2011-06-09 04:32:11 PM  
i55.tinypic.com

"Is you is, or is you ain't, my con-stitch-un-see?"
 
2011-06-09 04:33:04 PM  
I would take more pleasure in this if Newt had had a prayer of winning the nomination in the first place, but he didn't. While amusing in a shadenfreude kinda way about Newt, personally, this is really a non-story politically. Newt wasn't going to win anything anyway.
 
2011-06-09 04:33:20 PM  

ongbok: Codenamechaz: The shait has hit the fan, folks

All of Gingrich's paid staff in Iowa have gotten the hell out. (new window)

And one of the higher level officials is going on record saying that this all stems from Gingrich's decision to go ahead with his cruse to the Greek Isles . (new window)

FTA
Gingrich was intent on using technology and standing out at debates to get traction while his advisers believed he needed to run a campaign that incorporated both traditional, grassroots techniques as well as new ideas.

Correct me if I'm wrong. Newt wanted to run on more of a moderate Republican platform, thus appealing to moderates in both parties. While his team wanted to run on a "Real American" Far-Right derp platform.


Going by that quote, it looks to be the exact opposite. His team wanted to run something like Obama, try to get every day people on board with his campaign, while Gingrich wanted to do something like McCain did and just display a basic understanding of Campaign 2.0 style with light nods and winks to "Hey, we understand you young peoples".
 
2011-06-09 04:33:51 PM  

cptjeff: I'm guessing that since the first 2 weren't under the catholic church, they don't count.


Interesting loophole if true. Demonstrates the moral absurdity of religious dogma.
 
2011-06-09 04:34:18 PM  

contrapunctus: Here's the likely scenario.

Newt never intended on running to win, but rather threw his hat into the ring in an attempt to generate some more free publicity for himself.

The aides are all jumping ship because they see the writing on the wall. It's basically just a career choice for them.

End of story.


Winner of thread!

Newt, Palin, Bachmann, Paul. Note on them can actually win, nor will they will really. The whole point of the campaign is fund-raising and grand-standing.
 
2011-06-09 04:34:37 PM  
I don't see what all of you are biatching about. That should allow you to focus more of your hatred on the other candidates, right?
 
2011-06-09 04:34:55 PM  
Has anybody actually seen these ex-staffers? Maybe they were raptured, and this is just a cover story.
 
2011-06-09 04:35:25 PM  

captain_heroic44: Philip Francis Queeg: He'd have to stop having a sexual relationship with any women other than his original wife, otherwise he is committing new sins all the time.

I think the Catholic church permits remarriage if your spouse dies. So it might be that his second wife is now recognized by the church.


Link (new window)

"As to the remarriage of widows in the Christian Church, though St. Paul declares that widowhood is preferable to the married state (1 Corinthians 7:8), yet he does not forbid remarriage (1 Corinthians 7:39). Second nuptials are valid by ecclesiastical law if the first marriage bond has been really dissolved and if there is no canonical impediment, as is the case for clerics in major orders in the Oriental rites."


If the second marriage wasn't recognized by the church, and the first wife is dead, he might actually be free to marry the third wife in the Church.
 
2011-06-09 04:35:30 PM  

patrick767: The bizarre looking third wife, as some Farker pointed out awhile back, looks like she's been holding a sneeze in for about eight years for fear that Newt will dump her at the first sign of illness.


Hehe, that's brilliant.
 
2011-06-09 04:35:43 PM  
thepatriotaxe.com

oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates!
 
2011-06-09 04:35:53 PM  
Good. Hopefully He'll call off his campaign in the next few weeks instead of months. He was never really in this race, he just wanted to collect a few checks and keep his speaker's fees high. Too bad it means that Perry is running.
 
2011-06-09 04:36:03 PM  

rynthetyn: For what it's worth, here's the cruise ship that Newt took his vacation on (new window). Explain to me again why people take cruises, because for a "luxury" cruise, that looks like it kind of sucks.


Number of reasons. The view of the ocean can be amazingly romantic for couples, usually a lot of shows and activities, and often gambling as well so kinda like a floating mini-vegas. Often they'll stop at foreign ports to for sight seeing tours and a ton of other things.

Generally though, it's mostly for people with ridiculous amounts of money to hang out with likewise people in international waters.
 
2011-06-09 04:36:08 PM  

LarryDan43: They mostly resign at night, mostly.


Well done.
 
2011-06-09 04:36:21 PM  

Codenamechaz: FTA
Gingrich was intent on using technology and standing out at debates to get traction while his advisers believed he needed to run a campaign that incorporated both traditional, grassroots techniques as well as new ideas.


That doesn't sound like it would inspire a synchronized mass walkout to me. This has to do with paychecks, substantive ideas, or character.
 
2011-06-09 04:36:29 PM  
Leaving Newt en masse, eh?

And people say there aren't any smart Republicans...
 
2011-06-09 04:37:06 PM  

Ball Sack Obama: I don't see what all of you are biatching about. That should allow you to focus more of your hatred on the other candidates, right?


So with that name, you're trying to take the moral high ground, you all are hate filled people angle. Funny
 
2011-06-09 04:37:10 PM  
Abandoning a sinking ship. Nobody wants to be connected to his campaign when it finally implodes and take the blame.
 
2011-06-09 04:37:13 PM  
Someone obviously figured out a way to clone Reagan.

Reagan wouldn't stand a chance in todays GOP.
 
2011-06-09 04:37:30 PM  
The. Greatest. Primary. Season. EVER!
 
2011-06-09 04:37:58 PM  

Ball Sack Obama: I don't see what all of you are biatching about. That should allow you to focus more of your hatred on the other candidates, right?


You betcha!
 
2011-06-09 04:38:21 PM  

Sliding Carp: Has anybody actually seen these ex-staffers? Maybe they were raptured, and this is just a cover story.


I am pretty sure that selling your soul was a requirement to work as one of his top campaign people which pretty much Farks up your rapture ready status. That is until you attend at least 3 tea party rallies and say 6 Sarah Palin's.
 
2011-06-09 04:38:28 PM  

Avon_Barksdale: Black Hole Sun



wont you come



and wash away the rain


Thanks for getting rid of that Harvey Danger song.

BLACK HOLE SUN! BLACK HOLE SUN! BLACK HOLE SUN!
 
2011-06-09 04:38:30 PM  

Philip Francis Queeg: If the second marriage wasn't recognized by the church, and the first wife is dead, he might actually be free to marry the third wife in the Church.


What a loophole.
 
2011-06-09 04:39:03 PM  

Ball Sack Obama: I don't see what all of you are biatching about. That should allow you to focus more of your hatred on the other candidates, right?


blogs.e-rockford.com
 
2011-06-09 04:39:29 PM  
img862.imageshack.us

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!!??
 
2011-06-09 04:40:38 PM  
If I were a Republican I would be more than a little pissed that there are so many people "running" for my party's nomination when all of their words/actions indicate that they are non-serious and only in it for personal gain. They're basically swindling people out of their money by indicating that they are going to run.
 
2011-06-09 04:41:34 PM  

Lost Thought 00: I just picked up Newt in my office death pool. Feeling pretty good about it.


...

*Runs and puts five bucks on Newt snuffing it in the next year*

Good thing I'm at the office. And damn, that was a good call, Lost Thought.
 
2011-06-09 04:43:49 PM  
i.huffpost.com
WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?
 
2011-06-09 04:44:34 PM  
Not that he ever had much of a shot, but I'm pleased at hell to know his chances are now zero.
 
2011-06-09 04:44:52 PM  

Lunchlady: The guy is poop-flavored vanilla pudding.


Insert picture of Cleveland from Family Guy.
"That's nassssty"
 
2011-06-09 04:45:52 PM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Paul Ryan's Medicare-murder bill claims another victim.

Who wants to be next? C'mon, GOP! You guys love the Ryan plan, amirite???


thepatriotaxe.com

/nah nah nah nah
//nah nah nah nah
///hey, hey, goodbye
 
2011-06-09 04:46:12 PM  
"Then I tickle the taints, like this."

i.huffpost.com
 
2011-06-09 04:46:20 PM  
i.huffpost.com

"My campaign for a whore!"
 
2011-06-09 04:46:44 PM  

Iwan Dobski: oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates, oh, please, stay in until the debates!


It's not his choice. At this point, he simply won't be invited.
 
2011-06-09 04:47:35 PM  

Philip Francis Queeg: He's got the Joementum!


LOL

/had forgotten that term
 
2011-06-09 04:48:20 PM  
WHO LOVES YOU?
i.huffpost.com
AND WHO DO YOU LOVE?
 
2011-06-09 04:49:07 PM  
i.huffpost.com
"Who ate all the god damned pudding?"
 
2011-06-09 04:49:12 PM  

FTGodWin: It's not his choice. At this point, he simply won't be invited.


No worries, he can just debate an Obama impersonator on Fox News, like that great elder statesman RON PAUL.

/so dignified
 
2011-06-09 04:49:23 PM  

FTGodWin: Iwan Dobski: oh, please, stay in until the debates!

It's not his choice. At this point, he simply won't be invited.


So, just Romney v Pawlenty? No way that keeps them up at the nursing home.
 
2011-06-09 04:49:45 PM  

RichieLaw: I think this was fallout for his criticism of the Ryan Budget. This is officially the tea parties first victim.


I find it sad that the one thing he said in the last two months that made me do a double-take because it actually made sense might be the thing that got him attacked by his own party.

He was right when he criticized Ryan's Budget. More importantly, he had A right to that opinion as a member of his party, and a responsibility as a party elder to voice that opinion, and instead they attacked him and make him "take it back".
 
2011-06-09 04:49:58 PM  
He's a maverick!!
 
2011-06-09 04:50:47 PM  

SordidEuphemism: WHO LOVES YOU?

AND WHO DO YOU LOVE?


I'd like to change my vote.

Someone Photoshop a pinky ring and the Running Man background.

/YES!
 
2011-06-09 04:51:03 PM  
More incentive for Palin to run? Please?
 
2011-06-09 04:51:16 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Ball Sack Obama: I don't see what all of you are biatching about. That should allow you to focus more of your hatred on the other candidates, right?

So with that name, you're trying to take the moral high ground, you all are hate filled people angle. Funny


Heh. Ball Sack Obama would like to see a bit of civility from you all!

I have no doubt that ICoontPunchLibs4Sport concurs.
 
2011-06-09 04:51:17 PM  
i.huffpost.com

I have balls like farkin' watermelons, I'm tellin' you!!!
 
2011-06-09 04:51:50 PM  

vernonFL: They mostly quit loser campaigns at night. Mostly.


You read my mind.
 
2011-06-09 04:52:51 PM  
i.huffpost.com

I AM A GOLDEN GOD


...and I will never get my comeuppance! Never!
 
2011-06-09 04:53:40 PM  

Codenamechaz: rynthetyn: For what it's worth, here's the cruise ship that Newt took his vacation on (new window). Explain to me again why people take cruises, because for a "luxury" cruise, that looks like it kind of sucks.

Number of reasons. The view of the ocean can be amazingly romantic for couples, usually a lot of shows and activities, and often gambling as well so kinda like a floating mini-vegas. Often they'll stop at foreign ports to for sight seeing tours and a ton of other things.

Generally though, it's mostly for people with ridiculous amounts of money to hang out with likewise people in international waters.


But the truly rich don't take public cruise ships, they have private yachts. And the amenities on that particular cruise ship that Newt took are all pretty meh for something that's supposed to be luxury. Maybe I'm just a snob with impossibly high standards or something.
 
2011-06-09 04:55:53 PM  
i.huffpost.com

Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.
 
2011-06-09 04:56:02 PM  
Whatever the reason, I'm loving it.

It's like they all stopped, looked at each other, and suddenly realized that they were working for a worthless piece of slime.

/Karma's a biatch, ain't it Newt?
 
2011-06-09 04:56:23 PM  

RichieLaw: I don't like this guy as many of you, but the only reasoning I'm seeing for this mass exodus is:

1. We (the staffers) thought he should run his campaign one way, he didn't, so we left.

2. He took a long-planned vacation with his wife.

As far as 1 is concerned, you are paid by the candidate to run and espouse his vision. I'm not sure you have a lot of authority to get all righteously angry when the candidate doesn't want to do things your way.

As for 2, I'm not sure why this is a big deal. A two-week vacation a year and a half before the election isn't the end of the world.

Me thinks there was more to this.


Reading all the articles about this, it looked like Gingrich wanted to do the entire campaign via email and Twitter, with minimal personal appearances shaking hands and kissing babies. The staff knew that wasn't going to work, and left before it blew up in their faces. If you are on a sinking ship, it makes sense to get on the lifeboat as soon as possible.
 
2011-06-09 04:57:20 PM  
i298.photobucket.com

FTFY
 
2011-06-09 04:57:49 PM  
thedjholla.com
 
2011-06-09 04:57:49 PM  

rynthetyn: Codenamechaz: rynthetyn: For what it's worth, here's the cruise ship that Newt took his vacation on (new window). Explain to me again why people take cruises, because for a "luxury" cruise, that looks like it kind of sucks.

Number of reasons. The view of the ocean can be amazingly romantic for couples, usually a lot of shows and activities, and often gambling as well so kinda like a floating mini-vegas. Often they'll stop at foreign ports to for sight seeing tours and a ton of other things.

Generally though, it's mostly for people with ridiculous amounts of money to hang out with likewise people in international waters.

But the truly rich don't take public cruise ships, they have private yachts. And the amenities on that particular cruise ship that Newt took are all pretty meh for something that's supposed to be luxury. Maybe I'm just a snob with impossibly high standards or something.


Maybe his wife wanted to. Though I thought seagulls only went out to sea to die.
 
2011-06-09 04:58:32 PM  
i.huffpost.com

"Purging is at last at hand. Day of Doom is here. All that is evil, all their allies; your parents, your leaders, those who would call themselves your judges; those who have lied and corrupted the Earth, they shall all be cleansed. "
 
2011-06-09 04:58:33 PM  
The only thing that would make the republican side look even worse this election season would be for it to be found out that Palin was cranking out five dollar handjobs at some farmer's market.
 
2011-06-09 04:59:36 PM  

Jake Havechek: gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?

You get an automatic clean slate when you join the team.


Ever see Dogma? Same idea.
 
2011-06-09 05:00:52 PM  
I halfway wonder if this has anything to do with Weiner. How do you justify the campaign of a candidate who cheated on two wives, while vilifying a congressman who sent naughty pics on Twitter? Eventually the question would come up.
 
2011-06-09 05:01:02 PM  

rynthetyn: Maybe I'm just a snob with impossibly high standards or something.


Was it paid for with PAC funds? There may be regulations involved that are not immediately apparent.
 
2011-06-09 05:01:08 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: Sad because Newt is sort of reasonable.


Um, that is incorrect.

/he put unreasonable on the congressional map
//dude is a total cancer on the body politic
 
2011-06-09 05:01:12 PM  
i301.photobucket.com

Problem?
 
2011-06-09 05:01:37 PM  

Headso: This is the second story of a guy being cured of aides this week!


I wish to remark that this comment induced laughter in myself, and I do hope perhaps in others.
Well done, sir.
 
2011-06-09 05:02:06 PM  

YoungSwedishBlonde: God I cant wait for the Palin/Bachmann ticket. Bring on the lulz!


So much this.. I can't this enough this. THIS THIS THIS

/that
//marklar
 
2011-06-09 05:02:52 PM  
photos.imageevent.com
 
2011-06-09 05:03:22 PM  
i.huffpost.com
Yea, and God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son, Issac", and Abraham said, "I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."
 
2011-06-09 05:03:27 PM  

Geotpf: RichieLaw: I don't like this guy as many of you, but the only reasoning I'm seeing for this mass exodus is:

1. We (the staffers) thought he should run his campaign one way, he didn't, so we left.

2. He took a long-planned vacation with his wife.

As far as 1 is concerned, you are paid by the candidate to run and espouse his vision. I'm not sure you have a lot of authority to get all righteously angry when the candidate doesn't want to do things your way.

As for 2, I'm not sure why this is a big deal. A two-week vacation a year and a half before the election isn't the end of the world.

Me thinks there was more to this.

Reading all the articles about this, it looked like Gingrich wanted to do the entire campaign via email and Twitter, with minimal personal appearances shaking hands and kissing babies. The staff knew that wasn't going to work, and left before it blew up in their faces. If you are on a sinking ship, it makes sense to get on the lifeboat as soon as possible.


I think the reason given is a pretext. Disagreement over campaign method doesn't seem likely to inspire synchronized walkout. Either Newt couldn't make payroll, there was some kind of substantive disagreement, or everyone decided Newt was too much of a bastard to work for.
 
2011-06-09 05:04:42 PM  
Newt, Palin, Bachmann, and Trump are(were) just publicity seeking idiots that manipulated their gullible base into believing they were serious.

They know they have no chance. None of them even have a chance to win the nomination. They knew they could get money by spouting some crap about how they hate Obama and love Jesus, so like good capitalists, they did. And the media eats it up, even while knowing that these candidates are not viable and probably won't even run, let alone have a remote possibility of affecting the general election. And in turn, here we are talking about irrelevant candidates that add nothing to the discussion and instead delve into yet another sideshow where nothing can actually be accomplished.

Palin is just trying to hang onto her high paying job at Fox and desperately hoping she can stay relevant.

Bachmann just wants a mic to spout her crap into.

Trump wanted to get a renewed contract for his television show and to stroke his ego some more.

And Newt is just happy people still take him seriously after all the dumb shiat he has done.
 
2011-06-09 05:04:49 PM  
i.huffpost.com

"Cry havoc and let slip my Sack o' Love!!!"
 
2011-06-09 05:05:47 PM  

Cymbal: Don't feel sorry for Newt. I'm sure he will find solace in the loving gaze of his wife.


She fire lazurrrs from those eyes? EGAD!
 
2011-06-09 05:06:04 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: rynthetyn: Maybe I'm just a snob with impossibly high standards or something.

Was it paid for with PAC funds? There may be regulations involved that are not immediately apparent.


I was going to say that PAC funds can't pay for people's summer vacations, but then I remembered Palin's bus tour, so who knows.
 
2011-06-09 05:06:22 PM  

gunslinger_RG: How did he convert to Catholicism after being divorced TWICE and doing in the worst way possible. Don't you have to get that chit annulled or something?


In the eyes of the Catholic Church, he was never married in the first place. So far as they are concerned, he's just banging some chicks out of wedlock -- like every other adult male in the country.

Conversion loopholes are how the Catholic Church ended up with a handful of married priests -- converted (and married) Anglican priests, mainly.
 
2011-06-09 05:07:58 PM  
www.urantiansojourn.com

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-06-09 05:07:58 PM  
And lo! They shall feast upon their own.
 
2011-06-09 05:08:44 PM  

sariq: : Y'all know this is because they're running to Rick Perry's campaign, don't you?


Bingo.
Prepare for epic ozone layer depletion from Governor Goodhair's campaign.

 
2011-06-09 05:09:01 PM  

Riotcow: RembrandtQEinstein: Sad because Newt is sort of reasonable. He pays lipservice to the jesusbots but I don't think he really believes any of that crap.

Newt Gingrich is the most evil US politician in the past 50 years. He's a lying, cheating, horrible hypocrite who presses ethics and moral issues despite being absolute scum. He literally told his wife after cheating on her that:

"It doesn't matter what I do," "People need to hear what I have to say. There's no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn't matter what I live."

He's like a mythical deity of demagougery. He's one of the worst people to ever be elected any office. He cheated on his wife while she had MS, and then repeatedly lied to the press about what she said. There isn't a hell terrible enough for a lying, hypocritical awful used-car salesman slick bastard politician.

http://www.esquire.com/features/newt-gingrich-0910-8


Dont forget the wife with cancer! He also left her. Piece of shiat
 
2011-06-09 05:09:08 PM  
When people use the word substantive, it should be a red flag to anyone with intelligence.
 
2011-06-09 05:09:21 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: "Then I tickle the taints, like this."


+111eleventy

Would LOL IRL again
 
2011-06-09 05:09:22 PM  

browneye: Whatever the reason, I'm loving it.

It's like they all stopped, looked at each other, and suddenly realized that they were working for a worthless piece of slime.

/Karma's a biatch, ain't it Newt?


When, in recorded human history, have political aides ever left a camp for ethical reasons?

These guys do things that make lawyers blush.
 
2011-06-09 05:09:57 PM  
t3.gstatic.com
i20.photobucket.com

All I can ever think of when I see crazy bird lady...
 
2011-06-09 05:10:07 PM  
i.huffpost.com


"We must crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya."
 
2011-06-09 05:10:27 PM  
i.huffpost.com

Come at me bro
 
2011-06-09 05:10:34 PM  
t3.gstatic.com

looks like one of those annoying emoticons...
 
2011-06-09 05:10:43 PM  
Newt can't even manage his staff.
 
2011-06-09 05:10:54 PM  

captain_heroic44: Geotpf: RichieLaw: I don't like this guy as many of you, but the only reasoning I'm seeing for this mass exodus is:

1. We (the staffers) thought he should run his campaign one way, he didn't, so we left.

2. He took a long-planned vacation with his wife.

As far as 1 is concerned, you are paid by the candidate to run and espouse his vision. I'm not sure you have a lot of authority to get all righteously angry when the candidate doesn't want to do things your way.

As for 2, I'm not sure why this is a big deal. A two-week vacation a year and a half before the election isn't the end of the world.

Me thinks there was more to this.

Reading all the articles about this, it looked like Gingrich wanted to do the entire campaign via email and Twitter, with minimal personal appearances shaking hands and kissing babies. The staff knew that wasn't going to work, and left before it blew up in their faces. If you are on a sinking ship, it makes sense to get on the lifeboat as soon as possible.

I think the reason given is a pretext. Disagreement over campaign method doesn't seem likely to inspire synchronized walkout. Either Newt couldn't make payroll, there was some kind of substantive disagreement, or everyone decided Newt was too much of a bastard to work for.


I could see it happening if the campaign methods were so objectively stupid that they all knew that if they went along with it, there was a good chance that their reputations as campaign operatives would be so tarnished that they'd have a hard time getting hired ever again. An email, facebook, and twitter only campaign is stupid enough to get seasoned campaign people to decide to jump ship before the whole thing implodes.
 
2011-06-09 05:13:01 PM  
i.huffpost.com

"You can find me in da club, bottle full of bub
Look mami I got the X if you into takin' drugs
I'm into havin' sex, I ain't into makin' love
So come give me a hug if you into to gettin' rubbed"
 
2011-06-09 05:14:23 PM  
Compare Gingrich's campaign prep to Obama's:

Link (new window)

CHICAGO - President Barack Obama's campaign team is gaming out complex state-by-state scenarios for 2012 that anticipate uphill battles in recession-ravaged blue states - and new opportunities in Arizona and Georgia.

Their underlying assumption is that the GOP presidential field remains so fluid - and the country's economic outlook so devilishly unpredictable - that Obama must construct robust grassroots field operations in nearly every competitive state in order to hit the magic number of 270 electoral votes and win re-election.

If the famously expanded "Obama map" of 2008 was a gesture of emancipation from the cramped Democratic geography of the party's past presidential campaigns, the equally big 2012 map is a reflection of the reality that there's not yet a way to know the combination of red, blue and purple states that will add up to victory.

"We are preparing a variety of scenarios to get to 270. We are not putting our cards on any one state and don't foresee doing that," Obama campaign manager Jim Messina told POLITICO, rebuffing GOP suggestions that the president's electoral horizons are shrinking.

"We're building our ground campaign now," Messina said, adding that "2011 is about infrastructure."

Messina would not confirm the content of the half-dozen or so campaign scenarios floating around Obama headquarters - but other Democrats say one map points to alternative pathways if the president underperforms in the Midwest, especially in Ohio, which has suffered disproportionately from the economic downturn, and where Democrats suffered heavy losses in 2010.


I agree with basically every move Obama's campaign is making here. Obama is damned good at campaigning, especially on the technical and ground levels (moving resources around, squeezing votes out of supposedly lost causes, knocking on doors and kissing babies, raising money).

Looks like Gingrich was ignoring all of that, hence the mass campaign staff resignation.
 
2011-06-09 05:15:47 PM  

Rann Xerox: [i.huffpost.com image 640x248]

"You can find me in da club, bottle full of bub
Look mami I got the X if you into takin' drugs
I'm into havin' sex, I ain't into makin' love
So come give me a hug if you into to gettin' rubbed"


So THAT's what the middle part of that verse is. Was driving me crazy.
 
2011-06-09 05:17:16 PM  
www.urantiansojourn.com
gamesnet.vo.llnwd.net
 
2011-06-09 05:17:29 PM  
i.huffpost.com

CAN YOU DIG IIIIIIIIIIT?
 
2011-06-09 05:18:36 PM  
Some sick shait went down on that cruise. Trust.
 
2011-06-09 05:19:59 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: If I were a Republican I would be more than a little pissed that there are so many people "running" for my party's nomination when all of their words/actions indicate that they are non-serious and only in it for personal gain. They're basically swindling people out of their money by indicating that they are going to run.


The trick is that all of their various followers think their candidate is the "serious" one, so they have to donate extra money so their message will be heard over the voices of the "selfish" candidates. It works for everyone!

It also guarantees that there will be something like 10x as many primary ads for the Republicans as for the Democrats - and knowing how on-message Republicans are, they will all be "It's Obama's fault that you don't have a job. It's time for someone else. It's time for "
 
2011-06-09 05:20:21 PM  
i.huffpost.com

Come my minions, rise for your master, let your evil shine! Find her now, yes fly every faster, in the dark of night!
 
2011-06-09 05:20:41 PM  

skinnycatullus: This broke just as Hannity's radio show was starting, and he was completely flustered by it and even suggested that maybe it was a lie. I thought I might run off the road I was laughing so hard (mostly at the news itself, but Hannity's flailing didn't help matters).

Don't derp and drive, kids.


So true.

/had a friend who used to listen to right wing talk radio so she could keep on top of things
//it's hard to keep your eyes on the road when you keep facepalming
 
2011-06-09 05:22:21 PM  

rynthetyn: I could see it happening if the campaign methods were so objectively stupid that they all knew that if they went along with it, there was a good chance that their reputations as campaign operatives would be so tarnished that they'd have a hard time getting hired ever again. An email, facebook, and twitter only campaign is stupid enough to get seasoned campaign people to decide to jump ship before the whole thing implodes.


Possibly.
 
2011-06-09 05:23:39 PM  
Link (new window)

And now his campaign offices in Buckhead are cleaned out.

/always found it odd he had offices in the city
//it's over for newt
 
2011-06-09 05:26:17 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2011-06-09 05:27:45 PM  

Treygreen13: thismomentinblackhistory: What a pathetic group of losers that are running for this nomination.

When you're going into the election knowing that your very best case is a close loss to Obama, it's gotta be hard to rally the troops.

/republican
//think Obama gets re-elected easily


Between your comment and your profile, I gotta say, where can I meet more Republicans like you?

/favre'd
 
2011-06-09 05:28:12 PM  
i.imgur.com

I'm not very good at this
 
2011-06-09 05:28:42 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: /had a friend who used to listen to right wing talk radio so she could keep on top of things
//it's hard to keep your eyes on the road when you keep facepalming



Dude, that's an excellent metaphor for everything that's happening with the Republican party.
 
2011-06-09 05:28:42 PM  
i.huffpost.com
Oh ho ho ho ho. This bounty hunter is my kind of scum: fearless and inventive.
 
2011-06-09 05:29:00 PM  
am I having a wet dream...? This didn't actually happen did it? I know, I know, I'll be waking up soon...
 
2011-06-09 05:29:11 PM  
i.huffpost.com

"The sheriff is a ni-*BONG*!"
 
2011-06-09 05:29:15 PM  

mrshowrules: Either that or Newt wanted to take some shots below the belt at someone which was just to sleazy for his staff to go along with.


Oh, come on. These are political advisers we're talking about, here. They do not have consciences.

I had an image in my head of Newt trying to get on the phone with the media to schedule a conference about Anthony Weiner and how shameful it was for Weiner to do such things, and his advisers wrestling him to the ground, trying to get the phone away from him, screaming, "NO, YOU FOOL! THEY KNOW ABOUT YOUR PAST GIRLFRIENDS!"

Anyway...in all likelihood...the advisers found out that the money well had run dry or was about to run dry, and that was their cue to leave for "greener" pastures.
 
2011-06-09 05:29:39 PM  
His wife looks like the chicken lady from the Kids in the Hall would post a pic but doesn't possible on the phone.
 
2011-06-09 05:30:04 PM  

Chameleon: All I can ever think of when I see crazy bird lady...


4.bp.blogspot.com

www.splicetoday.com
 
2011-06-09 05:31:29 PM  
At the level these political assholes are playing at, they will do anything for money. There isn't a scandal so big that they can't hang around and get a paycheck an extra week while they work the phones trying to land a new job. It speaks to only one possible cause - why hang around if there's no money in it.

Newt: We love our country so much that we're going to run this whole campaign on a volunteer budget!
Aides: We're out of money already?
Newt: Pretty much.
Aides: Cya
 
2011-06-09 05:31:50 PM  

largedon: His wife looks like the chicken lady from the Kids in the Hall would post a pic but doesn't possible on the phone.


Good call.
 
2011-06-09 05:33:32 PM  

Cpl.D: The only thing that would make the republican side look even worse this election season would be for it to be found out that Palin was cranking out five dollar handjobs at some farmer's market.


tell me where that is, I want in...$5...I got THAT much at least!
 
2011-06-09 05:34:22 PM  
i.huffpost.com
BEHOLD! as I juggle my two tiny red balls!!
 
2011-06-09 05:36:29 PM  
Their patriotism made them do it.
 
2011-06-09 05:36:31 PM  

thomas666: Cpl.D: The only thing that would make the republican side look even worse this election season would be for it to be found out that Palin was cranking out five dollar handjobs at some farmer's market.

tell me where that is, I want in...$5...I got THAT much at least!


You can probably simulate the experience of an old woman giving you a handjob by giving yourself a "stranger" after you've let a layer of Elmer's glue dry on your hand.
 
2011-06-09 05:36:51 PM  
cache.gawker.com


Wiki:
Sanpaku gan (三白眼) or Sanpaku (三白) is a Japanese term that means "three whites" and is generally referred to in English as "Sanpaku eyes". The term refers to the iris being rather small, so that it can only cover about two-thirds or less of the vertical of the eye; imagining an eye as divided into four portions, the iris only 'colours' one portion, thus leaving the other three in white, hence "three whites".


When the bottom part of the white part of the eye known as the sclera is visible it is referred to as 'Yin Sanpaku' by the Chinese. According to the myth, it represents physical imbalance in the body, and is claimed to be present in alcoholics, drug addicts and people who over consume sugar or grain. Conversely when the upper sclera is visible this is called 'Yang Sanpaku'. This is said to be an indication of mental imbalance in people such as psychotics, murderers and anyone rageful. Stress and fatigue may also be a cause.
 
2011-06-09 05:37:43 PM  
i.huffpost.com

"Now go do that voodoo that you do so well!"
 
2011-06-09 05:38:52 PM  

contrapunctus: Here's the likely scenario.

Newt never intended on running to win, but rather threw his hat into the ring in an attempt to generate some more free publicity for himself.

The aides are all jumping ship because they see the writing on the wall. It's basically just a career choice for them.

End of story.


Nailed it
 
2011-06-09 05:39:16 PM  
gyazo.com
 
2011-06-09 05:42:06 PM  
"Hes a Rino and I cant vote for Rino's anymore. They do nothing but distroy. Time for a business solution as this country is a business and should be run as such. Herman Cain is my man."

From the AJC comments. What kind of business is our country? Hardware store? Blockbuster Video? There are so many possibilities!
 
2011-06-09 05:44:10 PM  

Torrent of Rubbish: "Hes a Rino and I cant vote for Rino's anymore. They do nothing but distroy. Time for a business solution as this country is a business and should be run as such. Herman Cain is my man."

From the AJC comments. What kind of business is our country? Hardware store? Blockbuster Video? There are so many possibilities!


Apparently we're a really shiatty pizza place.
 
2011-06-09 05:45:26 PM  
i.huffpost.com

Arise, Storm! North winds blow! South winds blow! Typhoons... Hurricanes... Earthquakes! SMOG!
 
2011-06-09 05:48:05 PM  

Lemmy Kilmister: i sense a sex scandal coming....


Didn't Newt already have some?
 
2011-06-09 05:48:12 PM  

CaptainCliche: Yea, and God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son, Issac", and Abraham said, "I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."


My caption entry: "Caaaan youuuuu diiig iiiitttt?!?"

/obscure?
 
2011-06-09 05:49:26 PM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: thomas666: Cpl.D: The only thing that would make the republican side look even worse this election season would be for it to be found out that Palin was cranking out five dollar handjobs at some farmer's market.

tell me where that is, I want in...$5...I got THAT much at least!

You can probably simulate the experience of an old woman giving you a handjob by giving yourself a "stranger" after you've let a layer of Elmer's glue dry on your hand.


you sound like a goof...what if it had been a (much) younger Mrs Palin? Would that be ok?
 
2011-06-09 05:50:04 PM  
If Perry does get in, he's going to be a formidable candidate.

I like his chances against both Romney and Obama.
 
2011-06-09 05:50:29 PM  

Truncks1: Newt, Palin, Bachmann, and Trump are(were) just publicity seeking idiots that manipulated their gullible base into believing they were serious.

They know they have no chance. None of them even have a chance to win the nomination. They knew they could get money by spouting some crap about how they hate Obama and love Jesus, so like good capitalists, they did. And the media eats it up, even while knowing that these candidates are not viable and probably won't even run, let alone have a remote possibility of affecting the general election. And in turn, here we are talking about irrelevant candidates that add nothing to the discussion and instead delve into yet another sideshow where nothing can actually be accomplished.

Palin is just trying to hang onto her high paying job at Fox and desperately hoping she can stay relevant.

Bachmann just wants a mic to spout her crap into.

Trump wanted to get a renewed contract for his television show and to stroke his ego some more.

And Newt is just happy people still take him seriously after all the dumb shiat he has done.


I'll agree pretty much about Palin, Newt and Trump, but I think Bachmann really believes her crap. I think she'll run for the Tea Party.
 
2011-06-09 05:50:32 PM  

LawrencePerson: If Perry does get in, he's going to be a formidable candidate.

I like his chances against both Romney and Obama.


I don't like your shiatty blog.
 
2011-06-09 05:51:26 PM  

Persnickety: Arise, Storm! North winds blow! South winds blow! Typhoons... Hurricanes... Earthquakes! SMOG!


awesome...love it!
 
2011-06-09 05:54:26 PM  

Richard Hertz: CAN YOU DIG IIIIIIIIIIT?


/sorry, didn't see yours before I posted.

//and I guess not obscure
 
2011-06-09 06:04:04 PM  
The thing we also need to consider, is that these are Republicans we're talking about. If they're all abandoning Newt, it's probably because he expressed something rational, and completely based in fact.

To moderates and independents, this is probably the clearest sign that they may have misjudged Gingrich.
 
2011-06-09 06:04:19 PM  
If Weiner ever sends you a personal email with an attachment then you'll understand what happened.l.yimg.com
 
2011-06-09 06:04:40 PM  

buckler:
When the bottom part of the white part of the eye known as the sclera is visible it is referred to as 'Yin Sanpaku' by the Chinese. According to the myth, it represents physical imbalance in the body, and is claimed to be present in alcoholics, drug addicts and people who over consume sugar or grain. Conversely when the upper sclera is visible this is called 'Yang Sanpaku'. This is said to be an indication of mental imbalance in people such as psychotics, murderers and anyone rageful. Stress and fatigue may also be a cause.


Ah, I begin to understand. You mean, like Jennifer Wilbanks:

begojohnson.files.wordpress.com

Or like Nancy Pelosi:

ginacobb.typepad.com

Or the downright terrifying Constance Hunter, financial analyst at Aladdin Capital:

mcclearyconsulting.dyndns.org

I'm sure there are more that are not immediately coming to mind.
 
2011-06-09 06:09:26 PM  
i.huffpost.com
Crap in one hand ... Wish in the other
 
2011-06-09 06:09:30 PM  
Couldn't have happened to a nicer asshole!
 
2011-06-09 06:10:45 PM  

vernonFL: They mostly quit loser campaigns at night. Mostly.


you magnificent bastard. +1
 
2011-06-09 06:12:08 PM  
canv.as
 
2011-06-09 06:15:16 PM  

Jackson Herring: I'm not very good at this



I luld.
 
2011-06-09 06:20:41 PM  
It's amusing how when you remove the intense partisanship away because of someone being out of office Republicans seem to hate the people they used to say were great, like Bush and Newt and seem to like Democrats they used to say were the worst people ever like Clinton.
 
2011-06-09 06:21:39 PM  
sorry guys.

Republicans never go away. Ever. The worse they are, the longer they stick around.
 
2011-06-09 06:23:37 PM  
sooner or later the corporate republicans are going to have to start backing away from the crazy (kill medicare, cut everything to the bone and never tax a millionaire) or it's just a waste of money for them to even enter the presidential race (not that they could ever run out of Daddy's money).

I think Newt realized this when he first cut down the Ryan "plan". If he'd stuck by his guns and called the retards on it, the party would have been a lot better off.
 
2011-06-09 06:25:34 PM  
i.huffpost.com

i758.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-09 06:26:45 PM  

hitlersbrain: sooner or later the corporate republicans are going to have to start backing away from the crazy (kill medicare, cut everything to the bone and never tax a millionaire) or it's just a waste of money for them to even enter the presidential race (not that they could ever run out of Daddy's money).

I think Newt realized this when he first cut down the Ryan "plan". If he'd stuck by his guns and called the retards on it, the party would have been a lot better off.


The problem is they can't win national elections without the two.
 
2011-06-09 06:27:17 PM  
The longer they can prolong this economic crisis the better. The rich were just handed their gains back with the past 2 years of stock market gains thanks to QE and QE2. Now that the rest of America needs help in almost 10% unemployment, they are all out of money! Sorry folks get in line to be shot! We cannot afford your health care!

Suddenly they are so stingy with money after they enriched themselves? How dumb can you all be to have fallen for it?
 
2011-06-09 06:29:54 PM  
i.imgur.com


HAHAHA x1000
 
2011-06-09 06:35:50 PM  
ABC News just called it a "Newtiny."

/lulz
 
2011-06-09 06:39:00 PM  

myrrh: buckler:
...when the upper sclera is visible this is called 'Yang Sanpaku'. This is said to be an indication of mental imbalance in people such as psychotics, murderers and anyone rageful. Stress and fatigue may also be a cause.

Ah, I begin to understand. You mean, like Jennifer Wilbanks:

Or like Nancy Pelosi:

Or the downright terrifying Constance Hunter, financial analyst at Aladdin Capital:

I'm sure there are more that are not immediately coming to mind.


www.alan.com
 
2011-06-09 06:40:34 PM  
img194.imageshack.us
 
2011-06-09 06:43:28 PM  
dallasdrilling.files.wordpress.com
WHO ME?!
 
2011-06-09 06:44:27 PM  
Oh thanks a hell of a lot, tinyarena --I was running a bit low on nightmare fuel.
 
2011-06-09 06:45:44 PM  

hitlersbrain: sooner or later the corporate republicans are going to have to start backing away from the crazy (kill medicare, cut everything to the bone and never tax a millionaire) or it's just a waste of money for them to even enter the presidential race (not that they could ever run out of Daddy's money).

I think Newt realized this when he first cut down the Ryan "plan". If he'd stuck by his guns and called the retards on it, the party would have been a lot better off.


They're trying, but they can't. They forgot that the Dubya Years have left them with two types: the insane, and the even more insane. And if they disenfranchise or try to convince those people otherwise--people they have trained to not think but react on a gut level--they'll just be wasting their time.

Newt's a goner because the bloom is off the rose. The Teabaggers (more or less) own the Republican Party, and everybody in it. And they're more than willing to drive themselves off a cliff because they think it'll make them stronger.

Anybody who speaks out against the Derp will be silenced by the Derp.
 
2011-06-09 06:46:42 PM  

Jackson Herring: I'm not very good at this



i.imgur.com

Love the whiskers!
 
2011-06-09 06:48:09 PM  
img827.imageshack.us
 
2011-06-09 06:55:45 PM  
i.huffpost.com

Who's a big loser?

Give me a G! Give me a I! Give me a N! Give me a G! Give me a R! Give me a I! Give me a C! Give me a H!
 
2011-06-09 06:56:36 PM  
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
 
2011-06-09 07:04:23 PM  
i.huffpost.com

Dudes?!? WHAT. THE. FARK.
 
2011-06-09 07:05:57 PM  
Goddamn epic thread!
 
2011-06-09 07:11:32 PM  
Remember when republicans were always talking about how Newt is really smart.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2011-06-09 07:16:42 PM  
i.imgur.com

/am i really the first?
 
2011-06-09 07:19:02 PM  

Bob16: Remember when republicans were always talking about how Newt is really smart.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


So who do they have left at this point? Romney's getting stabbed in the back as we speak, Newt is drowning out the Weiner non-story, and Palin is getting slammed. Whomever is left standing at the end of summer will be interesting because it seems each runner is getting shiat upon while Obama just keeps doing his job.
 
2011-06-09 07:19:53 PM  

Big Al: The longer they can prolong this economic crisis the better.


You think they are prolonging it. ?

I don't think they could fix it if their life depended on it. Not that it can't be fixed relatively easily.

It's just that their political belief system ( conservatism ) is almost a perfect economy killing macine.
 
2011-06-09 07:25:59 PM  

Guntram Shatterhand: So who do they have left at this point? Romney's getting stabbed in the back as we speak,


What they have going for them is Obamas complete incompetence on the economy.

A really pathetic economy like this can make lame non-incumbents highly electable.
 
2011-06-09 07:26:50 PM  
There has to be a live boy or a dead hooker somewhere in this story.
 
2011-06-09 07:29:43 PM  
Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

www.willisms.com

www.willisms.com

It's a real mystery...
 
2011-06-09 07:31:56 PM  

LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?


www.nndb.com
 
2011-06-09 07:32:01 PM  

libranoelrose: Chameleon: All I can ever think of when I see crazy bird lady...


Exactly!!!!!
 
2011-06-09 07:32:21 PM  
We've secretly replace this woman's blood with botox. Let's see if anyone notices...
img690.imageshack.us
 
2011-06-09 07:33:47 PM  
talkingpointsmemo.com

Are his arms stuck that way, like Bob Dole's dead wing, or can he only raise them that high like John McCain?
 
2011-06-09 07:34:21 PM  

LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

It's a real mystery...


They also execute more innocent people and fark more cows.
 
2011-06-09 07:36:10 PM  

Bob16: What they have going for them is Obamas complete incompetence on the economy


What you have had Obama do differently on the economy, given that you believe he has been incompetent so far?
 
2011-06-09 07:37:13 PM  

Codenamechaz: And one of the higher level officials is going on record saying that this all stems from Gingrich's decision to go ahead with his cruse to the Greek Isles .



3.bp.blogspot.com

Is that code?
 
2011-06-09 07:39:30 PM  

LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

It's a real mystery...


I'm guessing FEMA camps. Didn't most of New Orleans wind up in Austin?
 
2011-06-09 07:43:17 PM  
An entire staff quitting at once immediately brings to mind that they knew they were not going to get paid.
That they waited until he came back from his Mediterranean cruise and did it all at once sounds like he promised to pay them when he got back and then didn't do it.

/my best guess anyways
//that woman's helmet hair makes her look a hell of a lot older than 45.
 
2011-06-09 07:49:58 PM  

Cymbal: Don't feel sorry for Newt. I'm sure he will find solace in the loving gaze of his wife.


Wow, it looks like the Joker hit her with some Smilex.
 
2011-06-09 07:54:32 PM  
i.huffpost.com
I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!
 
2011-06-09 08:00:18 PM  
Nina_Hartley's_Ass:

(Photo of Newt Gingrich with the most hideous monster ever conceived)


Jesus bloody blue buttfarking ba-bartchrist, WTF? That has to be photoshopped, right? I mean that thing can't be human, right? And that horrible abomination to the right of him is the distillation of all nightmares...
 
2011-06-09 08:04:51 PM  

Webgrunt: Nina_Hartley's_Ass:

(Photo of Newt Gingrich with the most hideous monster ever conceived)

Jesus bloody blue buttfarking ba-bartchrist, WTF? That has to be photoshopped, right? I mean that thing can't be human, right? And that horrible abomination to the right of him is the distillation of all nightmares...


This might be shopped at least.

angrywhitedude.com
 
2011-06-09 08:06:03 PM  
I will be mildly surprised if their creative differences over the direction of his campaign didn't have a thing to do with the campaigning his penis has been doing on the side.
 
2011-06-09 08:10:02 PM  

Bob16: Guntram Shatterhand: So who do they have left at this point? Romney's getting stabbed in the back as we speak,

What they have going for them is Obamas complete incompetence on the economy.

A really pathetic economy like this can make lame non-incumbents highly electable.


The economy didn't get really pathetic until the Republicans took the House. But I'm sure the person that is chosen for them by the Old Guard will do them well and only fail half as hard as Palin would.

cameroncrazy1984: What you have had Obama do differently on the economy, given that you believe he has been incompetent so far?


The only incompetence I see is how the Republicans are prolonging the pain and thinking that nobody has noticed that they've been making asses out of themselves for the past few months while doing nothing for the economy. Unless abortions are somehow the new way to stimulate a Republican-destroyed economy.

LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

It's a real mystery...


Not really: Texas also has a ton of Federal jobs that are now being cut. So chances are those jobs right there are based on *gasp* unionized Federal jobs.

I should know: I've been applying to a few. Most of them are in Texas.
 
2011-06-09 08:15:52 PM  
i.huffpost.com

"And I swear to you John that fish was THIS BIG!"
 
2011-06-09 08:18:46 PM  
img26.imageshack.us

First thing I thought of when I first saw that picture of "Crazy Eyes" Gingrich
 
2011-06-09 08:20:41 PM  
I not only pray that Newt stays on through the primaries (which he'll lose), I hope he runs as an independent, or in some third party. Please God, let Newt run in a third party!
 
2011-06-09 08:24:35 PM  
Not sure why this is news. He's a giant douchebag. Guess they all reached their limit on douchebaggery at about the same time.
 
2011-06-09 08:33:07 PM  
Maybe he took a rent boy on the cruise instead of his wife? Or with his wife?
 
2011-06-09 08:33:35 PM  
dc-cdn.virtacore.com
 
2011-06-09 08:36:14 PM  
This is all nonsense. Underzealous staffers have merely misinterpreted Mr. Gingrich's trip to Greece. He's a very family-oriented man, as his speeches and writings show, and they made the trip in order to visit with his wife's family.

Stheno and Euryale.
 
2011-06-09 08:37:19 PM  
Amazinnnnnn thread. That is all.

2.bp.blogspot.com

/well, almost
 
2011-06-09 08:37:31 PM  

Jackson Herring: I'm not very good at this


That's just fine. +1
 
2011-06-09 08:48:22 PM  
img202.imageshack.us
 
2011-06-09 08:53:02 PM  

i.huffpost.com


That's Numberwang!
 
2011-06-09 08:56:28 PM  
Epic thread, nuff said.
 
2011-06-09 08:58:42 PM  
Have the people's champions abandoned missingno as well?
 
2011-06-09 09:06:08 PM  
Newt must have brought back some really shiatty presents for everyone...

Or he paid for the cruise with their salaries....
 
2011-06-09 09:07:18 PM  
i.huffpost.com
\o/
/\
 
2011-06-09 09:10:22 PM  

endlessmonkeys: That's Numberwang!


Winner.

/That's Wangernumb!
 
2011-06-09 09:17:36 PM  
Isn't this one of those Republicans who said Atheists aren't citizens?
 
2011-06-09 09:25:52 PM  
LOL.
 
2011-06-09 09:40:28 PM  
"Temba, his arms wide"
 
2011-06-09 10:02:27 PM  
LawrencePerson 2011-06-09 07:29:43 PM
Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

www.willisms.com

www.willisms.com

It's a real mystery...



>>>>>

Texas is the poster boy for government welfare. From subsidy getting energy companies, to big law firms, the military industrial complex. You name it, without the government, Texas would be another failed state. They already have one of the worst educational systems.
 
2011-06-09 10:06:09 PM  
i.huffpost.com
Arise, Chicken, chicken arise!

www.urantiansojourn.com
Good morning, honey. Omelettes for breakfast?
 
2011-06-09 10:18:35 PM  

Big Al: LawrencePerson 2011-06-09 07:29:43 PM
Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

www.willisms.com

www.willisms.com

It's a real mystery...



>>>>>

Texas is the poster boy for government welfare. From subsidy getting energy companies, to big law firms, the military industrial complex. You name it, without the government, Texas would be another failed state. They already have one of the worst educational systems.


Even my right-wing conservative friends say they were never happier than the moment they saw Texas in their rear view mirror on the way out of the state. Comments were also made about going out of their way to use small words when looking for jobs in Crawford lest their large vocabulary make them appear too elitist.

/only people who like Texas are native Texans
 
2011-06-09 10:25:02 PM  
img585.imageshack.us
 
2011-06-09 10:27:46 PM  

endlessmonkeys: That's Numberwang!


A Little Brittan reference AND a Mitchell and Webb joke in the same thread?
 
2011-06-09 10:33:34 PM  

Halli: This might be shopped at least.


I'll have you know that your picture gave me great mirth. I have retained a copy for my own purposes.
 
2011-06-09 10:37:29 PM  

YoungSwedishBlonde: God I cant wait for the Palin/Bachmann ticket. Bring on the lulz!


YES! Ellie Mae Clampett/Cruella DeVille 2012!

I'll even throw $100.00 at their campaign, and put a bumpersticker on my truck.
 
2011-06-09 10:41:07 PM  
Maybe this is the bagger strategy to get palin nominated. Get all the heavy hitter conservatives out of the picture. Huckabee doesn't run at all, gingrich falls on his sword, santorum will no doubt have some "personal issues" that will keep him from seriously campaigning. Herman cain, ron paul (RON PAUL), bachmann, and santorum if he sticks around can fight it out for the VP slot. The only sticky wicket is mittens, who is the only republican with a chance of winning and the only declared republican candidate who isn't a nutter, but he's also the only major candidate who doesn't pass the various bagger purity tests.
 
2011-06-09 10:44:39 PM  
i.imgur.com

Your conflict of interest pleases Kitty.
 
2011-06-09 10:48:58 PM  
i.huffpost.com

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-06-09 11:00:26 PM  
I wonder if this is all some clever Rovian stategerie to make the GOP contenders suck ass right up till next Summer, and then drag out some Teabaggy monster from Hell that will super-rally all the mouthbreathers simply because the bar was set so low that anyone who's promoted as "The New Reagan" by the GOP will gain a surge of momentum that will last just long enough till Election Day.

I mean, look at Palin. One day she was the Governor of a pudunk state and a former newscaster, and now she's regarded as Betsy Ross reincarnated and still remembers first hand seeing Paul Revere mounting up for his ride.
 
2011-06-09 11:05:40 PM  
They thought he wasn't taking campaigning seriously? What?

He's not running, he never was. He's just keeping his name in the news so idiots will buy his latest book. Why would his senior aides believe otherwise? They wouldn't, which means that's not the real reason they all quit today. I wonder when or if we'll find out the real reason?

My guess is they discovered some criminally inappropriate use of "campaign" funds and are getting as far away as they can.
 
2011-06-09 11:07:14 PM  

Worst.Fark handle. ever.: I wonder if this is all some clever Rovian stategerie to make the GOP contenders suck ass right up till next Summer, and then drag out some Teabaggy monster from Hell that will super-rally all the mouthbreathers simply because the bar was set so low that anyone who's promoted as "The New Reagan" by the GOP will gain a surge of momentum that will last just long enough till Election Day.

I mean, look at Palin. One day she was the Governor of a pudunk state and a former newscaster, and now she's regarded as Betsy Ross reincarnated and still remembers first hand seeing Paul Revere mounting up for his ride.


Yeah, they don't even want a candidate. They want an election-themed reality show.
 
2011-06-09 11:11:44 PM  
please do not give donut head rove any credit...That fark is responsible for thousands of GIs lives by his political decisions. Punk chicken hawk...
 
2011-06-09 11:14:47 PM  
I still think that Romney is a lock for the nomination and everybody else is either running to stay relevant or else to get the name recognition out there so they can make a real run in 2016.
 
2011-06-09 11:20:37 PM  
This is all a lot of idle speculation just because a few people decided to spend more time with their families.
 
2011-06-09 11:37:30 PM  
won't you guys feel dumb when President Gingrich takes office in January 2013
 
2011-06-09 11:46:37 PM  
www.nickcolemanmn.com
 
2011-06-09 11:54:47 PM  

Cpl.D: LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

It's a real mystery...

I'm guessing FEMA camps. Didn't most of New Orleans wind up in Austin?


Yup. Entergy and Exxon fled the place after Katrina. But don't tell Texans this; let them think they've done something good. The jobs just shifted states.

Hell, right now Exxon's touting this new discovery in deepwater drilling off the shore of Louisiana (the fun is reading the nola.com article/comments on this).
 
2011-06-10 12:38:11 AM  
LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

It's a real mystery...


Simplistic reasoning is simplistic.
 
2011-06-10 12:48:04 AM  

ComicBookGuy: LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

It's a real mystery...

Simplistic reasoning is simplistic.


No, it's hilarious. It's 'government spending is okay when it benefits me but not when it doesn't.' Without government spending Texas would just be another big white ghetto like most of the South is already.
 
2011-06-10 01:03:11 AM  
How can you ask a group of people for oral sex all at once? He usually pisses off women one at a time.

Newtie loves his oral. Always has, always will. Especially if it's from some other guy's wife.
 
2011-06-10 02:36:52 AM  
images.cheezburger.com
 
2011-06-10 03:03:57 AM  

LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

It's a real mystery...


Over 250K of those jobs were created in the last year.

Yet Texas has a $30 billion budget shortfall.
 
2011-06-10 03:07:15 AM  
So... is the Republican plan to put up non-serious candidate after non-serious candidate in the hope that eventually people will just be glad they stayed in the running? Wait... what the hell am I thinking? They hate hope... they shiat all over hope... hope is for pussies. No... I'd say they don't have a hope or a prayer. Actually... they probably have lots of prayers, for all the good that will do them.
 
2011-06-10 04:10:17 AM  

Bob16: What they have going for them is Obamas complete incompetence on the economy.

A really pathetic economy like this can make lame non-incumbents highly electable.


Complete incompetence? You mean like how he was handed an even worse economy that was in the middle of a free-fall, which has now stopped, turned around, and is now recovering in a span of less than 4 years after passing the stimulus package? Is that the incompetence you're talking about?

Yeah, I'm not really seeing the issue.
 
2011-06-10 04:30:28 AM  

Gawdzila: Bob16: What they have going for them is Obamas complete incompetence on the economy.

A really pathetic economy like this can make lame non-incumbents highly electable.

Complete incompetence? You mean like how he was handed an even worse economy that was in the middle of a free-fall, which has now stopped, turned around, and is now recovering in a span of less than 4 years after passing the stimulus package? Is that the incompetence you're talking about?

Yeah, I'm not really seeing the issue.


The issue is he's a "Kenyan" (wink, wink)
 
2011-06-10 08:53:52 AM  

Jackson Herring: "Who ate all the god damned pudding?"


what_now *epic Obama puddingface*

Now THAT'S a win and a half...

/made worse by Callista having it combined with crazy-eyes
 
2011-06-10 09:36:37 AM  

RichieLaw: I think this was fallout for his criticism of the Ryan Budget. This is officially the tea parties first victim.


Sadly, his criticism of the Ryan Budget is the one thing Newt had right. His campaign was a hot mess from the start with his flip-flopping on Libya and his apparent belief that nothing he ever said in the past had been recorded.

Bye Newt, time to slither back under your rock.
 
2011-06-10 10:06:26 AM  
i.huffpost.com
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
 
2011-06-10 10:17:00 AM  

Clockin' Bee: Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?


Win

/Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening me
 
2011-06-10 10:28:14 AM  
i.huffpost.com

My face is finished, my body's gone
And I can't help but think, standin' up here
In all this applause and gazin' down
At all the young and the beautiful
With their questioning eyes

That I must above all things love myself
That I must above all things love myself
That I must above all things love myself
 
2011-06-10 10:30:00 AM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: thomas666: Cpl.D: The only thing that would make the republican side look even worse this election season would be for it to be found out that Palin was cranking out five dollar handjobs at some farmer's market.

tell me where that is, I want in...$5...I got THAT much at least!

You can probably simulate the experience of an old woman giving you a handjob by giving yourself a "stranger" after you've let a layer of Elmer's glue dry on your hand.


You've given this some thought I see.
 
2011-06-10 10:33:25 AM  

Guntram Shatterhand: ComicBookGuy: LawrencePerson: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

It's a real mystery...

Simplistic reasoning is simplistic.

No, it's hilarious. It's 'government spending is okay when it benefits me but not when it doesn't.' Without government spending Texas would just be another big white ghetto like most of the South is already.


O RLY?
 
2011-06-10 10:36:26 AM  

TheAntiElite: what_now *epic Obama puddingface*


I don't even care if no one sees this

i.imgur.com
 
2011-06-10 10:39:04 AM  

Jjaro: contrapunctus: karmaceutical: Damn. I do believe we were just robbed of many presidential campaign lols.

Oh, believe me, we are in for a presidential cycle that is going to go down in history as probably the most lulz-tastic in history. Make no mistake about it, Sarah Palin is going to fire all of her cannons at the GOP nomination. The resultant derp soundbytes are going to be legendary. I can't wait.

Through all of it, we can all just sit back and laugh while O tapdances around these savants. His cold and calculating smackdown of the birth certificate controversy was merely a foreshadowing of the things to come. This is going to be the political equivalent of a Harlem Globetrotters game.

Wait and see.

\\Hot.

I will hold you to that. As long as someone relatively reasonable like Perry, Romney or Hunstman gets the nomination, the race will be nowhere near an Obama blowout. Especially if the economy still sucks.

/if Palin wins the nomination, Obama will crush her
//she won't win it (I sincerely hope)


See, I disagree. I think that there are way more Palin Americans out there willing to vote for her than you can imagine. If Palin runs, she will win; even after Obama destroys her in the debates. The victim party will cry about all the "gotcha" questions and how she is being treated unfairly because she is a woman and a Christian. They will rally to support her "Real Amercan" values and give her the presidency. If anyone relatively reasonable runs, they won't bother to vote.
 
2011-06-10 10:39:06 AM  

atomic-age: O RLY?


You've never been to Bayou Le Batre?
 
2011-06-10 11:00:18 AM  

Jackson Herring: I don't even care if no one sees this


This sequence is destined to become an internet classic if Newt somehow manages to win the nomination.
 
2011-06-10 11:29:15 AM  

Jackson Herring: TheAntiElite: what_now *epic Obama puddingface*

I don't even care if no one sees this


You should.
 
2011-06-10 11:33:12 AM  

TheAntiElite: You should.


Much appreciated. I made a blank for future captioning needs

i.imgur.com
 
2011-06-10 11:38:27 AM  
Hetfield
patrick767: The bizarre looking third wife, as some Farker pointed out awhile back, looks like she's been holding a sneeze in for about eight years for fear that Newt will dump her at the first sign of illness.

Hehe, that's brilliant.


Yeah, I wish I could take credit for it. Unfortunately I don't remember which Farker said it.

LawrencePerson
: Why on earth would anyone take political advice from Texas?

Presumably a complete idiot would. Their current budget crisis isn't exactly inspiring.
 
2011-06-10 11:39:20 AM  

Ball Sack Obama: I don't see what all of you are biatching about. That should allow you to focus more of your hatred on the other candidates, right?


-1/10. You must feel deprived that you only have the one candidate to hate, unless "Ball Sack Obama" is a term of endearment.
 
2011-06-10 01:17:55 PM  
I thought vacationing a lot was what made presidents great.
 
2011-06-10 01:34:33 PM  

raidersofthelostfark: "Now go do that voodoo that you do so well!"


Best of the lot.
 
2011-06-10 02:32:12 PM  
i252.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-10 10:30:27 PM  
Forty five? Callista claims to be FORTY FIVE? with That Grill?

BORN in forty-five, MAYBE.
 
2011-06-12 09:07:39 AM  
I swear, no matter how many times I see it, even having said it, Obama Pudding Face/Sad Newt is the most awesome thing EVER.
 
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