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(UPI)   Oh, what do you do with a drunken Sailor?   (upi.com) divider line 89
    More: Dumbass  
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13189 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2011 at 5:25 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-06-08 12:02:59 AM
Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
 
2011-06-08 12:04:39 AM
Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him.
 
2011-06-08 12:07:22 AM
Early in the morning?
 
2011-06-08 12:09:40 AM
 
2011-06-08 12:11:28 AM
Give 'em a taste of the Coxswain's Daughter
 
2011-06-08 12:18:20 AM
 
2011-06-08 12:42:47 AM
Whatever you do, the time to do it is Earl-aye in the mornin'
 
2011-06-08 12:52:47 AM
Doesn't he know that women and seamen don't mix?
 
2011-06-08 01:27:57 AM
Snorkeling?
 
2011-06-08 01:39:29 AM
How much time does Subby have?
 
2011-06-08 01:40:56 AM
Put him in the long boat 'til he's sober.
 
2011-06-08 01:48:06 AM
I don't know, but I believe that the legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the big lake they called "Gitchee Gumee".
 
2011-06-08 02:09:06 AM

miss diminutive: Doesn't he know that women and seamen don't mix?


We know what you think.
 
2011-06-08 02:36:52 AM
i262.photobucket.com
 
2011-06-08 05:28:36 AM
Depends. How earl-eye is it?
 
2011-06-08 05:29:45 AM
www.bigshinyrobot.com

What do you NOT do?
 
2011-06-08 05:31:12 AM
Boating while intoxicated is the only way to do it.
 
2011-06-08 05:32:11 AM
another moment on fark...
 
2011-06-08 05:33:50 AM
Seduce him with an south Asian ladyboy and roll him for his wallet and easily fenced valuables.
 
2011-06-08 05:39:11 AM
Make sweet, sweet love to him.

/Sailor, of course
//A rough shag is a good substitute
 
2011-06-08 05:48:42 AM
Put him in the brig until he's sober.

Between now and then, you can do anything you want to him. He'll claim he doesn't remember.

It's really a pretty sweet deal, if you're into that sort of thing.
 
2011-06-08 06:28:39 AM
It depends - was he bending his cordwangle?

Hit him in the nadgers with the bosun's plunger,
Slap him on the grummitt with a wrought iron lunger,
Cuff him in the molies with the Captain's grunger,
Till his bogle's dangle......
 
2011-06-08 06:45:34 AM
farkiing squids
 
2011-06-08 06:47:24 AM
...throw him in the brig with the masturbator, till earl-aye in the mornin...
 
2011-06-08 06:50:23 AM
Have butt sex with him.
 
2011-06-08 07:06:13 AM
Way, hey, up she rises...
Way, hey, up she rises...
Way, hey, up she rises...
Earl-ye in the morning.


C'mon guys, you can't forget the refrain.
 
2011-06-08 07:07:20 AM
Stick upon back a mustard plaster...
 
2011-06-08 07:08:15 AM

miss diminutive: Doesn't he know that women and seamen don't mix?


deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com
"Yes we all know what you think"
 
2011-06-08 07:12:46 AM
images.cheezburger.com
 
2011-06-08 07:14:24 AM

Pert: It depends - was he bending his cordwangle?

Hit him in the nadgers with the bosun's plunger,
Slap him on the grummitt with a wrought iron lunger,
Cuff him in the molies with the Captain's grunger,
Till his bogle's dangle......


Oh my God, I have never ever heard a Round the Horne reference here before. Well done, Rambling Syd.
 
2011-06-08 07:23:56 AM
You put him in the hold with the Captain's Daughter.

Then you shave his balls with a rusty razor.

er-lay in the morning!
 
2011-06-08 07:27:42 AM
Make him kiss the gunner's daughter
 
2011-06-08 07:30:02 AM
Why is sailing while intoxicated a crime? You don't have a motor. Is riding a skateboard while intoxicated illegal? Walking?
 
2011-06-08 07:40:51 AM
What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor
Hire him at Exxon
Hey Ho and weigh the anchor
Give him a captian's rank'or
Send him off in your oil tanker
Exxon his employer

/favorite drink - tanqueria on the rocks
 
2011-06-08 07:50:12 AM

gopher321: Way, hey, up she rises...
Way, hey, up she rises...
Way, hey, up she rises...
Earl-ye in the morning.


C'mon guys, you can't forget the refrain.


Welp, now I'll have that stuck in my head all day, so thanks for that.

I'll raise you: this one, but BE WARNED, it's probably more mind-virus-esque than the spoof flash we're all used to.
 
2011-06-08 07:57:18 AM

urger: Give 'em a taste of the Coxswain's Daughter


Heh. You said Cox.
 
2011-06-08 07:59:33 AM

Grouchy Old Bear: What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor
What do you do with a drunken sailor
Hire him at Exxon
Hey Ho and weigh the anchor
Give him a captian's rank'or
Send him off in your oil tanker
Exxon his employer

/favorite drink - tanqueria on the rocks


Bravo. Seriously.
 
2011-06-08 08:00:26 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: Pert: It depends - was he bending his cordwangle?

Hit him in the nadgers with the bosun's plunger,
Slap him on the grummitt with a wrought iron lunger,
Cuff him in the molies with the Captain's grunger,
Till his bogle's dangle......

Oh my God, I have never ever heard a Round the Horne reference here before. Well done, Rambling Syd.


Proof positive that nothing is obscure on FARK.

/off to lunge my groats
 
2011-06-08 08:12:44 AM
i140.photobucket.com

The culprit?
 
2011-06-08 08:16:36 AM
"Put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him, put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him!" I used to say "If he's got a long enough hose, he's gonna have a lot of friends in the shower room."

/Folk audiences hated that joke
 
2011-06-08 08:21:47 AM
from the Republican Senate tweet collection:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-06-08 08:24:09 AM
 
2011-06-08 08:27:42 AM
When I saw this headline, I heard Gypsy from MST3k singing it.
 
2011-06-08 08:28:18 AM
Put him in bed with Margret Thatcher,
Put him in bed with Margret Thatcher,
Put him in bed with Margret Thatcher,

OH by GOD what an ugly woman!
OH by GOD what an ugly woman!
OH by GOD what an ugly woman!
Early in the mornin!

/England forever!
//Scotland for a weeeeeeeeeeeee bit longer!
 
2011-06-08 08:28:38 AM
Tommy Moo: Why is sailing while intoxicated a crime?

I had the same thought. If the vessel hasn't got an engine, is it illegal? Is it also illegal to be in a kayak while under the influence? How about anchored and powered down?

This is important stuff people!!! Freedoms and liberties and something, I think!!!
 
2011-06-08 08:31:25 AM

Tommy Moo: Why is sailing while intoxicated a crime? You don't have a motor. Is riding a skateboard while intoxicated illegal? Walking?


You've obviously never been cited for an SWI. Or as its known in most states, a TWI -- Traveling While Intoxicated. A truly bold cop once cited me as I was sitting on my front porch enjoying my fifth Coors lite, on the basis that the Earth is hurtling through space at about 66,000 miles per hour, thus as a passenger on said planetary vehicle, I was traveling at 66,000 miles per hour. Come to think of it, it was the same cop who cited me for an open container in a vehicle after getting broadsided and my case of Keystone exploded. Farkin' prick.
 
2011-06-08 08:32:54 AM

BitwiseShift: from the Republican Senate tweet collection:


Now I'd take a bit of THAT earl-eye in the mornin'!
 
2011-06-08 08:37:29 AM

Steampunk Gallagher: my case of Keystone


That's a misdemeanor, right there.
 
2011-06-08 08:37:30 AM
Dog that I am I'd bury my bone.
 
2011-06-08 08:38:10 AM
Was his name Jerry?

luekensliquors.com
 
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