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(AOL) Asinine Two F-16s scrambled as United Airlines flight is forced into emergency landing ... after passengers get into fight over reclined seat   (news.travel.aol.com) divider line 242
More: Asinine, United Airlines, F-16, Dulles International Airport, Ghana, emergency landing, NORAD, personal distance, control tower  
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9517 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2011 at 7:15 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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Farker T
2011-06-01 02:54:50 AM
Welcome to June, 2011, America.

Happy?
 
propasaurus [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 03:43:10 AM
Farker T: Welcome to June, 2011, America.

Happy?

Thanks for asking, yeah I'm pretty happy so far. Kicked off the summer yesterday with some nice grilled buffalo burgers with a homemade kalamata tapenade and some heirloom tomatoes with fennel and mint.
It's going to be a nice summer. I'm going to take some time off. Probably put the top down on the convertible, drive up the coast to Santa Barbara.
And when I get back to work, my raise will have kicked.
So yeah, pretty happy all told with June 2011 in America.
 
miss diminutive
2011-06-01 03:52:08 AM
This isn't the first time a reclined seat has caused in-flight fisticuffs. In November 2010 a man on an American Airlines flight got so upset about a reclined seat that he pulled another man's ear so strongly that his glasses came off.

Who pulls on someone's ear? Was it in retaliation to a wedgie or a wet-willy?
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 04:27:36 AM
miss diminutive: This isn't the first time a reclined seat has caused in-flight fisticuffs. In November 2010 a man on an American Airlines flight got so upset about a reclined seat that he pulled another man's ear so strongly that his glasses came off.

Who pulls on someone's ear? Was it in retaliation to a wedgie or a wet-willy?

You've never seen a parent pull on a naughty child's ear?
 
miss diminutive
2011-06-01 04:30:37 AM
Bathia_Mapes: miss diminutive: This isn't the first time a reclined seat has caused in-flight fisticuffs. In November 2010 a man on an American Airlines flight got so upset about a reclined seat that he pulled another man's ear so strongly that his glasses came off.

Who pulls on someone's ear? Was it in retaliation to a wedgie or a wet-willy?

You've never seen a parent pull on a naughty child's ear?

Between a parent and a child? Yes. Between two grown men? Not so much.
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 04:46:22 AM
miss diminutive: Bathia_Mapes: miss diminutive: This isn't the first time a reclined seat has caused in-flight fisticuffs. In November 2010 a man on an American Airlines flight got so upset about a reclined seat that he pulled another man's ear so strongly that his glasses came off.

Who pulls on someone's ear? Was it in retaliation to a wedgie or a wet-willy?

You've never seen a parent pull on a naughty child's ear?

Between a parent and a child? Yes. Between two grown men? Not so much.

Grownups have been known to act in extremely childish ways when they're pissed off.
 
Barfmaker [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 05:40:34 AM
They dumped 16,000 gallons of fuel so they could land and neither dude gets charged?
 
Uncle Wiggly [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 05:58:25 AM
I thought this was what the Sky Mall catalog was for. You just roll it up and bop them on the nose. This gets their attention, and you lead one away with a Hansel & Gretel trail of drink coupons ("Oh. These are good for a future flight, sir."). And the other gets a pair of pilot wings, a pillow and a Maxim.
 
FredaDeStilleto
2011-06-01 07:11:25 AM
None of this would have occurred had there been Homeland Security "malcontent detection" equipment in place at the airport security check. Both of them would have been taken out of line and had their sorry-asses sitting in Gitmo rather than in the luxury of a coach-class seat.
 
BurnShrike
2011-06-01 07:19:00 AM
miss diminutive: This isn't the first time a reclined seat has caused in-flight fisticuffs. In November 2010 a man on an American Airlines flight got so upset about a reclined seat that he pulled another man's ear so strongly that his glasses came off.

Who pulls on someone's ear? Was it in retaliation to a wedgie or a wet-willy?

This statement grabbed my attention as well. I love how they described the severity of the pull. "His glasses came off!" What a tragic outcome.
 
Tickle Mittens
2011-06-01 07:19:24 AM
propasaurus: Farker T: Welcome to June, 2011, America.

Happy?

Thanks for asking, yeah I'm pretty happy so far. Kicked off the summer yesterday with some nice grilled buffalo burgers with a homemade kalamata tapenade and some heirloom tomatoes with fennel and mint.
It's going to be a nice summer. I'm going to take some time off. Probably put the top down on the convertible, drive up the coast to Santa Barbara.
And when I get back to work, my raise will have kicked.
So yeah, pretty happy all told with June 2011 in America.

God damn! I bet your mustard has a picture of Wesley Snipes on the label!
 
wademh
2011-06-01 07:23:45 AM
If the seats recline, you have a right to recline your seat.
I'd rather the person in front of me didn't do so, but they have that right.
If that cramps me, and I don't like it, and I want to fly, I need to get a bulkhead seat or upgrade in class. End of story.
 
earthwirm
2011-06-01 07:28:49 AM
I hate the recline function. How can I use the tray at a 30deg angle? If your fat ass can't sit in the seat as designed, take a greyhound.

//amidoinitrite?
 
Happy Hours [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 07:31:22 AM
Farker T: Welcome to June, 2011, America.

Happy?

Oh lord - I just had a flashback to about 1997. I was on a flight from Dallas to Philly (or maybe it was the return flight).

Anyway, this total biatch behind me kept kicking my seat because I had the nerve to actually recline my seat.

After a few words were exchanged I asked a flight attendant if there was another seat I could move to.

The biatch behind me blurted out "He just wants to lay down!".

Fortunately there was another seat and as I moved to it I told her that if she didn't like it she should take a farking train.

Know why some white people think some black people are uppity? It's because some black people kick your seat while you're on a 3.5 hour flight just because they're assholes.

/not racist, but she was a good argument for being so.
 
Pincy
2011-06-01 07:33:44 AM
Happy Hours: Know why some white people think some black people are uppity? It's because some black people kick your seat while you're on a 3.5 hour flight just because they're assholes.

/not racist, but she was a good argument for being so.

Worst moral to a story ever.
 
Happy Hours [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 07:33:59 AM
Oh and yes, I am Happy.
 
darthgarlic
2011-06-01 07:35:50 AM
The cheese has fallen off of our collective cracker.
 
Harry Freakstorm [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 07:36:10 AM
i744.photobucket.com

Ummmm.... Scrambled F-16s
 
pkellmey
2011-06-01 07:39:27 AM
Good story. Now I can go on with the rest of my morning satisfied that a few other peoples worlds are a little more screwed up than mine.
 
skantea
2011-06-01 07:40:30 AM
wademh: If the seats recline, you have a right to recline your seat.
I'd rather the person in front of me didn't do so, but they have that right.
If that cramps me, and I don't like it, and I want to fly, I need to get a bulkhead seat or upgrade in class. End of story.

Whoa, it sounds like a long flight and you can't easily know ahead of time how spaced the rows are. I've made due on shorter flights, but on a long one there's going to have to be some compromises. Either by the person in front of me or by the crew in finding me a better seat. Luckily I have the gift of charm so situations like this have always gotten handled easily.
 
gopher321 [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 07:40:55 AM
Geez. Just hand them the bill for jet fuel, maintenance and personnel time lost on their ass-hattery and get on with your lives. Bet they'll never do it again.

/dnrtfa
 
glassbottomboatcaptain
2011-06-01 07:43:38 AM
If only the World Trade Center was as high on the airforce's priority list as recliner disputes...
 
ongbok
2011-06-01 07:45:23 AM
Happy Hours: Farker T: Welcome to June, 2011, America.

Happy?

Oh lord - I just had a flashback to about 1997. I was on a flight from Dallas to Philly (or maybe it was the return flight).

Anyway, this total biatch behind me kept kicking my seat because I had the nerve to actually recline my seat.

After a few words were exchanged I asked a flight attendant if there was another seat I could move to.

The biatch behind me blurted out "He just wants to lay down!".

Fortunately there was another seat and as I moved to it I told her that if she didn't like it she should take a farking train.

Know why some white people think some black people are uppity? It's because some black people kick your seat while you're on a 3.5 hour flight just because they're assholes.

/not racist, but she was a good argument for being so.

Yeah you are correct because a white person never does anything like that.

The whole problem is that people don't have any common decency towards each other anymore. If you recline your seat back and the person behind you complains, then simply say that you are sorry and move it up a little. Or if somebody reclines their seat to far back on you, say "excuse me" and kindly ask them if they can move their seat up a bit. I know this won't work in every situation because some people are complete asshats, as Happy Hours just demonstrated, but you would be surprised how far a little kindness and understanding will go in settling very minor disputes like this.
 
skantea
2011-06-01 07:45:34 AM
Pincy: Happy Hours: Know why some white people think some black people are uppity? It's because some black people kick your seat while you're on a 3.5 hour flight just because they're assholes.

/not racist, but she was a good argument for being so.

Worst moral to a story ever.

White people don't kick seats because the lack of melanin prohibits leg movement above 500 feet. It's science!
 
Land Ark
2011-06-01 07:45:57 AM
Synopsis of how this thread will go:

Farker A: I hate people who recline their seat, it takes up my personal space and they should be shot.

Farker B: You're an idiot, the seat reclines for a reason.

Repeat.
 
g4lt
2011-06-01 07:46:28 AM
earthwirm: I hate the recline function. How can I use the tray at a 30deg angle? If your fat ass can't sit in the seat as designed, take a greyhound.

//amidoinitrite?

30? Methinks you're off by an order of magnitude. IME, you're lucky to get a 10 degree recline, 3-5 is more the norm.
 
Tickle Mittens
2011-06-01 07:49:34 AM
Harry Freakstorm: Ummmm.... Scrambled F-16s

2 F16s? That's like 32FFs?

ts2.mm.bing.net
 
Nick Nostril
2011-06-01 07:51:03 AM
Your tax dollars, hard at work.

/and reason #14877 to not fly
 
StrikitRich
2011-06-01 07:53:15 AM
Who pays for the scrambled F-16s, the Taxpayers or United?
 
HAMMERTOE
2011-06-01 07:53:19 AM
Harry Freakstorm: Ummmm.... Scrambled F-16s

... with SR-71's on their backs!
 
ThisNameSux
2011-06-01 07:54:37 AM
If I can't drive there, I have no desire to go there.
 
myinternetname
2011-06-01 07:56:01 AM
Harry Freakstorm: Ummmm.... Scrambled F-16s

:)
 
FriarReb98 [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 07:58:13 AM
skantea: Whoa, it sounds like a long flight and you can't easily know ahead of time how spaced the rows are. I've made due on shorter flights, but on a long one there's going to have to be some compromises.

It's a 5300 mile flight. You have to be one massive cheapskate to take a flight that long without the plane being made for it.

Then again - and sorry if I've decided to play the part of "that guy" today - this is a flight to Africa after all....
 
SeraphicSorcerer
2011-06-01 07:59:06 AM
StrikitRich: Who pays for the scrambled F-16s, the Taxpayers or United?

Taxpayers of course, It's Military "non-discretion spending"
 
RhinoCat
2011-06-01 08:01:52 AM
Ok just for clarification:

I know a tad about jet fuel, it is very similar to kerosene. At least, that is the everyday petroleum product it most resembles.

So, if an aircraft "dumps" 16,000 gallons of fuel does that mean what is sounds like it means? They open a valve and allow 16000 gallons of kerosene to rain down on the earth below?

I realize this is probably done at an altitude so high that the fuel is pretty diffused before it reaches the ground so as to avoid anyone being caught in a foul smelling flammable rainstorm, but still the fuel doesn't just disappear there must be some pollution factor here.....
 
Flakeloaf
2011-06-01 08:02:59 AM
dump it's fuel

Scalawag.

Also, on what planet does two retards having a fistfight justify wasting sixty thousand litres of jet fuel, plus whatever it costs to put two 16s in the air, all while disrupting the travel schedules of some two hundred people? Handcuff the idiots to their seats and deal with it when you land. Really.
 
The WindowLicker
2011-06-01 08:07:12 AM
I flew a long flight on Cathay Pacific a couple of weeks ago, and they had seats that I have never seen on an American carrier. They reclined by sliding the seat cushion forward and having the backrest sort of do a hammock thing. The seat back stayed put. It made so much more sense to me than having the seat backs sliding forward all the time.

I was shocked about the baggage fees though. They tried to tell me that my carry on was too heavy, and they charged a ridiculous rate for anything over 44lbs of checked baggage.

I think my travel claim came out to 600 dollars in baggage alone.

/My carry on was a small backpack with my laptop, orders, and medical records in it.
 
7wolf
2011-06-01 08:09:05 AM
Honestly I'd prefer the seats didn't recline at all. I don't remember if it happened with the airbus planes but of the two 747's I've been on so far, I noticed that the seat actually could go back far enough that the little table thingy didn't open anymore. Also, I'm 5'9" and 133lbs, and it still goes far enough back I'd have to climb out on top of my own seat to escape. Stupid design.
 
Animatronik
2011-06-01 08:09:30 AM
Flakeloaf: dump it's fuel

Scalawag.

Also, on what planet does two retards having a fistfight justify wasting sixty thousand litres of jet fuel, plus whatever it costs to put two 16s in the air, all while disrupting the travel schedules of some two hundred people? Handcuff the idiots to their seats and deal with it when you land. Really.

Exactly. Those people should be charged and detained, at least the first one to get physical. And the airline should send the instigator a bill.
 
NYRBill
2011-06-01 08:13:29 AM
Flakeloaf: Also, on what planet does two retards having a fistfight justify wasting sixty thousand litres of jet fuel, plus whatever it costs to put two 16s in the air, all while disrupting the travel schedules of some two hundred people? Handcuff the idiots to their seats and deal with it when you land. Really.

on Earth apparently
/a bit of an overreaction?
 
bearcats1983
2011-06-01 08:18:50 AM
Oh boy, an airplane reclining seat thread. I'm waiting for the ITGs who will side with the people fighting and claim they would stab them too.

It's a farking reclined seat, not a bag of snakes hovering over your knees. People get so damned uppity and irrational when they fly. Everyone on the plane is uncomfortable, tired, hot, and in a rush; your slight discomfort isn't a unique situation. Why can't people just sit back and deal with minor shiat for a few hours?
 
vudukungfu
2011-06-01 08:26:26 AM
Farker T: Welcome to June, 2011, America.

Happy?

I'm waiting for the ten year 9/11 media blitz.
It should be a whopper. Fox and CNN slugging it out to be the bigger attention whore. "Where are they now?" articles and interviews. Propping up a bunch of truthers, and hoisting the proud flag of teh new overlords of pantswetting patriotism. Then, after the last drop of TSA semen is wiped off the chin of the last bleach-blonde bimbo's chin over at Fox, the flag of the people, our standard, old glory, the stars and stripes, will be lowered to half mast and spontaneously burst into flames of shame.
 
Yugoboy
2011-06-01 08:27:44 AM
bearcats1983: Everyone on the plane is uncomfortable, tired, hot, and in a rush; your slight discomfort isn't a unique situation. Why can't people just sit back and deal with minor shiat for a few hours?

Think "The straw that broke the camel's back."

Airports, TSA, booking/ticketing hassles, baggage fees, stupid boarding procedures, and then this. It's the one person you can rage against in a system that punishes normal human responses to negative stimuli.

NOT really looking forward to the transAtlantic flights later this summer... Italy, yes. The getting there... not so much. Probably gonna OD on Xanax just to keep from losing my seat/mind.
 
BikerRay
2011-06-01 08:30:39 AM
Happy Hours:

/not racist, but she was a good argument for being so.

May have found a site (new window) for you.
 
wademh
2011-06-01 08:33:01 AM
skantea: wademh: If the seats recline, you have a right to recline your seat.
I'd rather the person in front of me didn't do so, but they have that right.
If that cramps me, and I don't like it, and I want to fly, I need to get a bulkhead seat or upgrade in class. End of story.

Whoa, it sounds like a long flight and you can't easily know ahead of time how spaced the rows are. I've made due on shorter flights, but on a long one there's going to have to be some compromises. Either by the person in front of me or by the crew in finding me a better seat. Luckily I have the gift of charm so situations like this have always gotten handled easily.

It may have been scheduled as a long flight, but the dispute happened so early they returned to the originating airport, so that's moot. Further, if the passenger behind had a say, the controls for reclining would be in their hands, but they aren't. On long flights, and I've been on scores over 10 hrs, the crew will generally request people de-recline during meals. Beyond that, your ticket entitles you to recline except during take-off and landing. That's how it works.
 
Splish [TotalFark]
2011-06-01 08:36:32 AM
If the person behind you got to dictate how far you can recline your seat they would have put the button on his armrest. I'll put up with a crying baby much better than some asshole who wants to tell me how I have to sit.
 
pete1729
2011-06-01 08:38:49 AM
propasaurus: Farker T: Welcome to June, 2011, America.

Happy?

Thanks for asking, yeah I'm pretty happy so far. Kicked off the summer yesterday with some nice grilled buffalo burgers with a homemade kalamata tapenade and some heirloom tomatoes with fennel and mint.
It's going to be a nice summer. I'm going to take some time off. Probably put the top down on the convertible, drive up the coast to Santa Barbara.
And when I get back to work, my raise will have kicked.
So yeah, pretty happy all told with June 2011 in America.

Sounds nice, how about a picture of the convertible?

I'm going to finish the job i'm on in a little under two weeks and then drive from my home in New Orleans to Missoula to spend the summer with my girlfriend from highschool. She found me on facebook after 34 years. She's a doctor and a competitive swimmer.
 
BaronBarracuda
2011-06-01 08:40:09 AM
Every time I think humanity has hit bottom, somebody throws it a shovel.
 
j0e_average
2011-06-01 08:41:37 AM
Open your air vent and push it all the way forward. ta-da!
 
unclemongo
2011-06-01 08:45:56 AM
This never happened when they still let me take my Kurgan sword on the plane with me.

Seriously, though ... I'm 6'5", and somewhat wider than the normal human. While I get cramped when the person in front of me reclines their seat, I don't consider it a personal affront. I've only dealt with one seat-kicker in the last few years, and that was a 14-year-old boy who got religion when I stood up, looked down at him and said, in my best bouncer voice, "Stop that or I'll rip your foot off." I didn't realize his parents were sitting right behind him. Fortunately, they weren't pissed.

/CSB (my first one!)
 
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