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( NewsFlash China News Service and Yomiuri Report Osama and Omar Were Assassinated   ( divider line
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10790 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2001 at 5:14 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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97 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-10-24 05:17:56 PM  
EXTREMELY unconfirmed...I'm not getting my hopes up yet...
2001-10-24 05:18:32 PM  
I would imagine the media would be throwing this up all over TV if it were true... and Rumsy beating his chest as well.
2001-10-24 05:18:39 PM  
Interesting....though like it says....should receive EXTREME skepticism...although it would be nice...
2001-10-24 05:18:43 PM  
I doubt it.
2001-10-24 05:19:05 PM  
i like hearing it, even if's untrue
2001-10-24 05:20:23 PM  
I agree, even if it is untrue, it still sounds nice.
2001-10-24 05:21:18 PM  
"In other news, monkeys are flying out of my arse..."
2001-10-24 05:23:23 PM  
Babelfish translates the original article this way:

ƒrƒ"ƒ‰[ƒfƒBƒ" death theory? The Chinese newspaper reporting

You announced for the Chinese overseas chinese as for news agency " Chinese newspaper " Internet edition on the 24th, as a story of the " Japanese well-informed sources ", " the ƒIƒ}ƒ‹ teacher of the ƒEƒTƒ} * ƒrƒ"ƒ‰[ƒfƒBƒ" and the ƒ^ƒŠƒoƒ" this month on 16th, shot in the aide and died ". Simply, " this information is not something which still was verified each from direction ", it has done.

According to the same electricity, the occasion where 16 day morning of the Afghan time past o'clock of 11, the ƒIƒ}ƒ‹ teacher and others tries will return to the underground base of the same national Nanbu ƒJƒ"ƒ_ƒnƒ‹, probably to enter into the cave, the person of the aide fired from back. As for the ƒIƒ}ƒ‹ teacher 1 departure, as for the ƒrƒ"ƒ‰[ƒfƒBƒ" it poured the bullet of each 1 shot to the chest and the left shoulder in the chest, died at that place.

Also son and spouse of the ƒrƒ"ƒ‰[ƒfƒBƒ" which is together shooting the chest and the waist and the shoulder, et cetera you die. Two men of the ƒIƒ}ƒ‹ teacher received the bullet to the right waist, that place escaped, but you say the next day you died.
2001-10-24 05:23:30 PM  
Hm. Great. What do you bet EVERYONE will repeat some crap like this every six days? No way in hell this is true. i wonder how many more false alarms we'll get.
2001-10-24 05:25:26 PM  
Our top story tonight: Americans believe nothing said by foreign governments or media.
2001-10-24 05:26:47 PM  
I'm doubting it. "by elements within their ranks"? Then it can only be confirmed by the Taliban and/or al Qaida, who have been piping out the propoganda by the truckload. Highly unlikely.
2001-10-24 05:27:20 PM  
Omar and the leader of AlQaida, Osama bin Laden, were both shot and killed in Afghanistan, by elements within their ranks

did anybody else catch that? Killed by elements within their ranks? I'm not saying this article is true, or that anything is confirmed, but how would it change the situation if Omar and Osama were killed by non-U.S. forces? Is that good or bad for U.S.? Discuss amongst yourselves...
2001-10-24 05:27:43 PM  
Caboozy- that was your ass? dude, take a bath.

Seriously though- hope this report is true, but it seems very doubtful.
2001-10-24 05:29:31 PM  
Assuming this becomes true at some point - even if they ever did recover a body, how could they be sure it was them?

Do we just happen to have DNA of them or something?
2001-10-24 05:30:51 PM  
I'm not buying it until they have his Bleeding Dead corpse hanging on an upside down cross and then his blood has been DNA tested.... Killed by their own people. more likely that it is just a story put on but the taliban to get us to stop bombing.
2001-10-24 05:30:58 PM  
Dead before the next election? I don't think so. He's probably crashing on the couch in the White House until they can sweep him under the rug like this never happened.
2001-10-24 05:31:04 PM  
No really, monkeys ARE flying out of my arse...
2001-10-24 05:31:07 PM  
Doubt it highly. I sincerely doubt that Omar and bin Laden would travel together, or even remain in contact. As much as the Taliban is a pariah to the global community now, their innocence act wouldn't play much if the two traveled together... but I could be wrong.

I do, however, like the idea of the underground Taliban base... THE TALI-CAVE! Home to the most sophisticated telegraphs and tin-can phones... direct lines to every single patch of rock within a five foot radius... "home of the most deadly arsenal" says the Summer 1534 Issue of "Better Dungeons & Torture Chambers".


Or not... we don't care.
2001-10-24 05:31:58 PM  
(conspiracy theorist mode: ON)
What if...they FAKED their deaths? They have their own cronies feign mutiny, pretend to kill the big guys, and allow them to formulate evil plans in secret? That may explain the killed "by elements within their ranks."
(conspiracy theorist mode: OFF)
2001-10-24 05:31:59 PM  
Bats- If they were knocked off by their own guys, that means their own guys disagreed with what they were up to. So, if this were true, probably 90% of the Taliban just defected and joined the Northern Alliance.

Let me just say that if this is true, American calls dibs on their heads.
2001-10-24 05:32:03 PM  
2001-10-24 05:32:11 PM  
The only way I'll ever believe that SonaBiatchhhh is dead is when I see the Body ;)
2001-10-24 05:32:27 PM  
Too bad if it is true...I'd love to see him haul-assed into whatever court. Ah shoot...just release him in a prison's general population, grab some popcorn, and watch the show....
2001-10-24 05:32:56 PM  
But... I don't want him to be assasinated. I want him to be alive, and kicking. I wanted them to bring him back to the states... let us have some fun with him before he departs for an eternity in the fiery pits of hell.
2001-10-24 05:33:22 PM  
heh. Osama Bin Dover
2001-10-24 05:34:34 PM  
aren't assassinations illegal...?
/me ducks
2001-10-24 05:34:46 PM  
Weekly World News reports this is true as well...maybe it really is true!
2001-10-24 05:35:13 PM  
From the article "fired upon his (Omar's) back from the rear". Can someone please explain to me how else it could be done? I mean just how do you shoot someone in the back from the front?
2001-10-24 05:35:46 PM  
Katmbca, actually, if the alleged bodies were recovered we could at least verify bun Loaders identity by cross matching DNA of the parents or siblings.
However, i'll believe it when i see the rotting corpses for myself. besides, it would take all the fun out of it cuz WE wanted to shoot him. (pout)
2001-10-24 05:37:38 PM  
Osama and Omar might be dead, doo dah, doo dah!
2001-10-24 05:43:09 PM  
Well, the 16th was over a week ago. That's a long time. Who has been speaking for the Taliban as of late? Has Omar said anything publicly last week, or has it just been his underlings talking? In any event, I find it hard to believe.
2001-10-24 05:43:23 PM  
Think about this, what if the US is in contact with people inside the taliban and organized the plot... Drudge is reporting that the taliban is holding 100 people for allegedly helping the us... that would explain the killed from within his own ranks.
2001-10-24 05:43:51 PM  
Ahh, come on Drew! Dont FARk with our emotions!

Dont get our hopes up just to let us down. I know it would be great news if it is true, but dont jump on the story so fast. Find some other sources to validate the Japanese article.
2001-10-24 05:45:49 PM  
i bet they are hiding out at OJ's house in florida.
2001-10-24 05:46:37 PM  
Doubtful that this is true.
Possibly a double was killed?

However, best case scenario would be if bin Loser was shot and killed by his own troops.
So much for becoming a matyr if your own people kill you.
2001-10-24 05:47:01 PM  
Hitler planned the WTC attacks in Brazil, Osama and Omar are Hitler clones, and Monkeys are flying out of Caboozy's Ass.
2001-10-24 05:48:15 PM  
OJ thinks that Osama is "the real killer."
2001-10-24 05:48:52 PM  
I don't necessarily believe it, but there's no reason it couldn't be true. It's not like the Taliban would go out and spread this news if it's true. The only news we get is news reported by officials of the US and UN etc. And the stuff that does happen and we hear about doesn't happen in Taliban hideouts.
2001-10-24 05:48:54 PM  
I require a severed head and two forms of ID before I'll beleive this.
2001-10-24 05:50:06 PM  
2001-10-24 05:53:00 PM  
I have the Mainchi site up on the other computer, I don't see the story, wasn't that given as a source?
2001-10-24 05:53:23 PM  
Here he is Dubya-Oh-Sevun
[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-24 05:54:34 PM  
The Chinese News Service, no bias or slant there. But hey it might be true.............? DNA test and 3 forms of ID.
2001-10-24 05:55:13 PM  
Bin Laden isn't even in Afghanistrap-on. He is over in Iraq cuddling up to Saddam. Duh!
2001-10-24 05:56:41 PM  
any word on takers for the $5 million reward?
2001-10-24 05:58:28 PM  
If its true I want to see the body and have 1000 tests done on it to make sure it is his goat fuking ass.
2001-10-24 06:00:12 PM  
Sounds too good to be true.
2001-10-24 06:00:57 PM  
I believe everything I read. Doesn't everybody?
2001-10-24 06:01:22 PM  
Fark_u_u_farking_fark: Ha! But I think you got the quote slightly wrong:

"I'm going to Kabul to personally shoot that paper hanging son of a biatch!"
2001-10-24 06:02:02 PM  
I read this, and then a little while later I was hungry for more news.
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