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		The six most badass weapons ever improvised in battle (cracked.com)		76
		More: Cool, Red Army, Wikimedia Commons, Soviet Russia, orbital maneuver, chain saws, weapons

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18130 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 May 2011 at 12:16 PM | Favorite | share:

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Recoil Therapy		2011-05-30 11:49:14 AM

They're surprised that the inventive juices get flowing when other people are shooting at you?

CSB time:
I had a sterotypical grumpy first sergeant early in my army days. One time he was telling stories about improving the defenses around their base in Vietnam. They'd get a 55 gallon drum of diesel fuel/available fuel & mix a bunch of laundry soap into it turning it into improvised napalm. Add a claymore mine as the blasting cap & they had an instant wall of sticky flame with several hundred steel balls zipping through it. He was full of crap with many things but it seemed like this one would work.

gund goat		2011-05-30 12:22:25 PM

Recoil Therapy: They're surprised that the inventive juices get flowing when other people are shooting at you?

CSB time:
I had a sterotypical grumpy first sergeant early in my army days. One time he was telling stories about improving the defenses around their base in Vietnam. They'd get a 55 gallon drum of diesel fuel/available fuel & mix a bunch of laundry soap into it turning it into improvised napalm. Add a claymore mine as the blasting cap & they had an instant wall of sticky flame with several hundred steel balls zipping through it. He was full of crap with many things but it seemed like this one would work.

Wouldn't that send sticky napalm and metal shards flying at you too? Unless you kept it at a pretty far perimeter from yoruself then nessesitating a lot of barrels and gas?

Man On Fire		2011-05-30 12:24:03 PM

gund goat: Wouldn't that send sticky napalm and metal shards flying at you too? Unless you kept it at a pretty far perimeter from yourself then necessitating a lot of barrels and gas?

I've heard that one. they would bury it outside the perimeter of the camp at a 45 degree angle. anyone attacking across the open zone around the camp would get a face full of shrapnel and fire.

gund goat		2011-05-30 12:31:28 PM

Man On Fire: gund goat: Wouldn't that send sticky napalm and metal shards flying at you too? Unless you kept it at a pretty far perimeter from yourself then necessitating a lot of barrels and gas?

I've heard that one. they would bury it outside the perimeter of the camp at a 45 degree angle. anyone attacking across the open zone around the camp would get a face full of shrapnel and fire.

Ah ok, I understood the weapon to be like a bomb since recoil mentioned the scrapnel, they were used more like a flamethrower?

t3knomanser		2011-05-30 12:32:14 PM

gund goat: Wouldn't that send sticky napalm and metal shards flying at you too?

Claymores are largely directional. You wouldn't want to be standing close to one, no matter what side you're looking at, but most of the explosive force is directed in a single direction.

Ed Finnerty		2011-05-30 12:32:32 PM

*toot-toot*

Seth'n'Spectrum		2011-05-30 12:37:48 PM

FTFA: "Poland is Europe's Afghanistan."

That's a pretty poor metaphor. At least Poland has a very good idea of what the hell 'Poland' is.

A week ago in the WPost, Henry Kissinger said in an interview that Belgium used to be Europe's Afghanistan. That's a little closer.

LewDux		2011-05-30 12:37:57 PM

TFA: Britain was too far away to supply arms effectively, and the Soviet Union mostly didn't give a damn, so the Poles were very much on their own.

The secret protocol
t3.gstatic.com

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh		2011-05-30 12:38:31 PM

Missing

Subtle_Canary		2011-05-30 12:43:15 PM

He could easily add a 40mm grenade launcher to that chainsaw.

Arn_Dee		2011-05-30 12:45:18 PM

There is nothing superior to the bamboo cannon.

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy		2011-05-30 12:47:09 PM

List is useless without the GBU-28/B.

bristol.indymedia.org

Over two tons and something like 25 feet long. Designed, built, and tested in only 11 days and used to destroy an "indestructible" Iraqi bunker 3 days later. Oh yeah, and it was made from decommissioned artillery pieces and spare bomb parts.

FeelsBadMan		2011-05-30 12:50:48 PM

Poland's improvisation skills surely helped them in World War Two. I mean, they only lost 25% of their population-the most of any country during the war. Go Team Poland.

Recoil Therapy		2011-05-30 12:56:38 PM

gund goat: Man On Fire: gund goat: Wouldn't that send sticky napalm and metal shards flying at you too? Unless you kept it at a pretty far perimeter from yourself then necessitating a lot of barrels and gas?

I've heard that one. they would bury it outside the perimeter of the camp at a 45 degree angle. anyone attacking across the open zone around the camp would get a face full of shrapnel and fire.

Ah ok, I understood the weapon to be like a bomb since recoil mentioned the scrapnel, they were used more like a flamethrower?

Yeah, generally it would be on it's side halfway buried in a scooped out area or have a pile of dirt built up behind it. The mine would be in between the dirt & the drum. The dirt would focus the explosion out in about a 120 degree arc. Assuming that the materials were available, it made a decent improvised defensive weapon for the base. One shot only but if it helped you make it through the night....

/more info on how the claymore works (new window)

RocketRod		2011-05-30 01:21:13 PM

No Swoose ^{(^)}? FAIL.

Lamune_Baba		2011-05-30 01:23:51 PM

red5ish		2011-05-30 01:28:06 PM

That article was entertaining and well written. In Cracked.

Amazing.

Mighty_Joe		2011-05-30 01:31:44 PM

Recoil Therapy: . They'd get a 55 gallon drum of diesel fuel/available fuel & mix a bunch of laundry soap into it turning it into improvised napalm. Add a claymore mine as the blasting cap & they had an instant wall of sticky flame with several hundred steel balls zipping through it..

It's called a Fougasse (new window) and TFA has it at #5. The napalm would probably retard the claymore fragments but the guys on the other end who get set on fire probably won't miss them.

FunkOut		2011-05-30 01:35:31 PM

I think I'd be impressed with the insane courage of anyone wearing and using a homemade Polish flamethrower.

olapbill		2011-05-30 01:46:16 PM

FunkOut: I think I'd be impressed with the insane courage of anyone wearing and using a homemade Polish flamethrower.

you mean a fire extinguisher?

studebaker hoch		2011-05-30 01:46:27 PM

Even during war, there's always time for tornado chasing.

Summer Glau's Love Slave		2011-05-30 01:56:01 PM

MacGyver is pleased.

FunkOut		2011-05-30 01:56:59 PM

olapbill: FunkOut: I think I'd be impressed with the insane courage of anyone wearing and using a homemade Polish flamethrower.

you mean a fire extinguisher?

Hah hah, but really, they were strapping a tank of compressed air and tank of gasoline/diesel mix to some guys back with plastic tubing and a bit of burning rope on the end. Molotov cocktail backpack.

DigitalCoffee		2011-05-30 01:58:28 PM

I still think that the homemade cannon that Kirk made to fight the Zorn was cool.

/and dolphins with limpet mines on their backs

haterade69		2011-05-30 02:00:17 PM

Whar the Rambone?? WHAR?!?!

The Loaf		2011-05-30 02:00:30 PM

/Look around you; can you construct some sort of rudimentary lathe?

ActionJoe		2011-05-30 02:07:35 PM

red5ish: That article was entertaining and well written. In Cracked.

Amazing.

LOL fail....I thought that it was probably one of their worse written article. The author went a bit too hyperbolic. Also made some pretty big mistakes from being over excited. The stinger gun mentions the guy was fighting in the pacific. Then the author makes a line about how he wanted to kill Nazis.

IoSaturnalia		2011-05-30 02:09:35 PM

DigitalCoffee: I still think that the homemade cannon that Kirk made to fight the Zorn was cool.

/and dolphins with limpet mines on their backs

Synder fought the Zorn. (Kirk fought the Gorn).

Antimatter		2011-05-30 02:10:26 PM

This all sounds like an interesting challenge to put before a military group, basically junkyard wars meets real war.

Give the group some tactical goal, such as defend this, attack that, destroy this, as well as a bunch of stuff you'd expect to find around a base/enemy nation, and have them improvise a solution.

studebaker hoch		2011-05-30 02:10:46 PM

You can want to kill Nazis anywhere.

A_bomb37		2011-05-30 02:12:06 PM

ActionJoe: red5ish: That article was entertaining and well written. In Cracked.

Amazing.

LOL fail....I thought that it was probably one of their worse written article. The author went a bit too hyperbolic. Also made some pretty big mistakes from being over excited. The stinger gun mentions the guy was fighting in the pacific. Then the author makes a line about how he wanted to kill Nazis.

If you had a gun like that, wouldn't you want to kill Nazis too?

Third Day Mark		2011-05-30 02:21:38 PM

Needs more Sword-chucks.

ryderdm3		2011-05-30 02:36:25 PM

"The Russian and German Flamethrowers had an 8 Gallon canister full of oil, and they melted tanks. The American version had a 55 Gallon barrel full of napalm, and they melted Gods."

I lol'd

Shazam999		2011-05-30 02:39:02 PM

potato_chip_eating_geek		2011-05-30 02:57:14 PM

wow, the stock on the garand must be strong as fark.

neuroflare		2011-05-30 03:05:27 PM

The Loaf: /Look around you; can you construct some sort of rudimentary lathe?

I always piss myself laughing at that line.

HotDogDay82		2011-05-30 03:06:02 PM

In the article they talk a few times about how people used flame based weapons to "kill" tanks. Would those weapons actually destroy the tanks or would they just roast the guys inside of them? I guess it is a fairly academic question at that point, but I am curious nevertheless!

Gunther		2011-05-30 03:15:35 PM

HotDogDay82: In the article they talk a few times about how people used flame based weapons to "kill" tanks. Would those weapons actually destroy the tanks or would they just roast the guys inside of them? I guess it is a fairly academic question at that point, but I am curious nevertheless!

Lots of things inside a tank don't respond well to heat; I'd imagine having the ammunition "cook-off" would be pretty messy.

FeelsBadMan		2011-05-30 03:24:43 PM

Gunther: HotDogDay82: In the article they talk a few times about how people used flame based weapons to "kill" tanks. Would those weapons actually destroy the tanks or would they just roast the guys inside of them? I guess it is a fairly academic question at that point, but I am curious nevertheless!

Lots of things inside a tank don't respond well to heat; I'd imagine having the ammunition "cook-off" would be pretty messy.

Aye. Many World War 2 tanks didn't react too well to fire. Modern tanks are basically immune, so I was laughing back during the Iranian protests when people were throwing Molotov cocktails at T-72's.

Pete_T_Mann		2011-05-30 03:38:39 PM

Shazam999: ActionJoe: red5ish: That article was entertaining and well written. In Cracked.

Amazing.

LOL fail....I thought that it was probably one of their worse written article. The author went a bit too hyperbolic. Also made some pretty big mistakes from being over excited. The stinger gun mentions the guy was fighting in the pacific. Then the author makes a line about how he wanted to kill Nazis.

Nazis... Japs... What's the difference?

We got to nuke one of them.

Subtle_Canary		2011-05-30 03:44:19 PM

A molotov cocktail in the exhaust grill will still kill any tank made. You shouldnt have laughed.

bigfatdave		2011-05-30 03:53:48 PM

How easy to get to is the exhaust on a tank?

DigitalCoffee		2011-05-30 04:04:31 PM

bigfatdave: How easy to get to is the exhaust on a tank?

Some people would tell you that it's impossible, but it's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.

JosephFinn		2011-05-30 04:25:10 PM

DigitalCoffee: bigfatdave: How easy to get to is the exhaust on a tank?

Some people would tell you that it's impossible, but it's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.

Slow clap, you magnificent bastard.

clusterfrak		2011-05-30 05:07:24 PM

I thought the Stinger was an awsome idea. Imagine a group of marines on Iwo Jima frozen crapless infront of a banzai attack. Here comes Seargent Stine (Played by Vin Diesal), badass homemade weapon in one hand beer in the other and a half naked american nurse clinginging to his thigh. In the Background Hendrix star spangled banner plays getting louder as the jap body count gets bigger, Hot Damn!! Have you got wood? I've got wood.

CigaretteSmokingMan		2011-05-30 05:13:35 PM

studebaker hoch

i-beta.crackedcdn.com

Even during war, there's always time for tornado chasing.

Sort of reminded me of this:

1.bp.blogspot.com

Samwise Gamgee		2011-05-30 05:32:04 PM

Recoil Therapy: They're surprised that the inventive juices get flowing when other people are shooting at you?

I didn't get the impression that anyone was surprised.

meddleRPI		2011-05-30 05:34:38 PM

clusterfrak: I thought the Stinger was an awsome idea. Imagine a group of marines on Iwo Jima frozen crapless infront of a banzai attack. Here comes Seargent Stine (Played by Vin Diesal), badass homemade weapon in one hand beer in the other and a half naked american nurse clinginging to his thigh. In the Background Hendrix star spangled banner plays getting louder as the jap body count gets bigger, Hot Damn!! Have you got wood? I've got wood.

Yeah that would never happen.

Hendrix didn't record that till the 60's.

StingerJ		2011-05-30 05:46:33 PM

Optimal_Illusion		2011-05-30 06:10:08 PM

meddleRPI: clusterfrak: I thought the Stinger was an awsome idea. Imagine a group of marines on Iwo Jima frozen crapless infront of a banzai attack. Here comes Seargent Stine (Played by Vin Diesal), badass homemade weapon in one hand beer in the other and a half naked american nurse clinginging to his thigh. In the Background Hendrix star spangled banner plays getting louder as the jap body count gets bigger, Hot Damn!! Have you got wood? I've got wood.

Yeah that would never happen.

Hendrix didn't record that till the 60's.

Well how about a coke and Benzadrined-up Glen Miller then? Big Band you could Mosh to.

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